Arranged Vs Free Choice

Running Head: MARRIAGE CHOICES 1
Arranged vs. Free-choice marriages
Damanjot Singh Narang
Yorkville University
Contact Information
Student Id: 2019012260
Email Address: damannarang2017@gmail.com

ARRANGED VS. FREE CHOICE-MARRIAGES 2
Abstract
In this generation, no one wants to marry a person their parents found them. They want to
venture out and find a nice person themselves. Both the marriage institutions have their own
advantages and disadvantages. If you compare both the marriage institutions, you will find that
there are a few things which you like in arranged marriage and there must be many things which
you find good in love marriage. I am not married yet, but I’ll write what I have observed till now.
Introduction
What is Marriage? It is a gradual unfolding of love, care, affection for someone

special and a gradual realization of meaning, purpose, responsibilities and fulfillment
in life. It is a wonderful union of two people who choose to spend their lives together.
It is supposed to bring harmony, stability and happiness in otherwise chaotic lives. If
you have a spouse who is your friend and your biggest motivator, life couldn't be
better. At the same time there is nothing worse than a troublesome marriage. In my
opinion, the true meaning of marriage is: One plus one equals one. However, becoming
one does not mean that you lose your own identity. On the contrary, it means
completing and complementing one another to such an extent that you can both be
better together than you could have been as single. Marriage can be arranged and of
free choice. Now, the question is which one is better? When you look at both the
marriages love and arrange you will be able to find many differences. Let’s compare
both of these marriages and find out the answer. In love marriage, you first know a
person closely and then only you make this decision of marrying him/her. But, in
arranged marriage you first marry a person and later on you start knowing him/her. In
love marriage, you don’t judge a person by his family’s financial status, but in
arranged marriage family’s financial status is very important. In love marriage, you are
not much bothered about the looks, but in arranged marriage looks is one of the most
prominent criteria for selection or rejection. In love marriage, you make this decision
without any pressure as you have chosen your partner, but in arranged marriage, there
are chances that you are forced to say yes under pressure for the marriage. In love
marriage, families take the back seat in everything , you and only you are responsible
for everything good and bad about your marriage and relationship. But in arranged
marriage, your family is involved in everything and they support you in all ups and
downs. These were some of the points that are clearly showing that Love or free-
choice marriages have better understanding and results. But everything has it’s pros
and cons . Now let’s observe how arrange marriages can be beneficial. Your parents
find them for you so how they turn out or how they would be isn't your responsibility,
no one can backlash at you for your partner's issues. You will have great relations with
both families who will come in to help and keep up a good atmosphere throughout
your life compared to live marriages where families might not be really happy thinking
that they could have found their precious child a better partner. So, these were the
negative and positive points about arranged and free-choice marriages. Let me add in
my opinion. If I were to decide to marry would I really care about statistics? No!
Yes, mutual understanding and love for another is the most essential criteria. I find
Love marriages to be natural and spontaneous, when you mutually decide to marry the
person you have dreamed of marrying, when you are ready. Whereas, arranged
marriages in my opinion are a little artificial. It becomes extremely artificial when the
marriage is decided on the basis of race, religion or language. I would choose to
exercise my free-will regarding this matter because it’s my marriage and not a joke!
Arranged marriage is finding love for rest of your life, love marriage is loving your heart for rest
of your life. I’m not saying that arrange marriage can not work out. I’ve heard a lot of stories of
my friends who were in love and now they’re not together. This is the story of my friend .Tina
and Tom were in a relationship for 13 years. It was not easy for them to convince their families.
But finally, after n number of struggles, they got married. Tom was living in a joint family. Tina
was trying really hard to fit in. Spending even a minute with her mother-in-law felt like bathing
in a volcano for her. One day, her patience level fell beyond zero. Tina asked Tom about moving
out. Having a separate home of their own. Tom clearly mentioned that he can't just choose her
over his family. Tina was broken and so she filed for divorce. The decision is upon the
individual, whether he or she wants to be part of an arrange or free-choice marriage. No person
should be forced in any way. I also feel that we should consider some points before getting
married. Self respect must never be compromised by the couples. Couple must develop the
wonderful habit of sharing their feelings. Sufficient time must be spared to understand each
other, get to know about childhood, tastes, hobbies, passion, interests, friends, sports and support
each other. Disagreements can be discussed, debated, argued but one must never impose own
views rigidly on partner. Difference of opinion must be appreciated but one must never hate the
person. Couple must not expect perfection in each other; learn to live and love imperfections as
well. Problems must not disturb couples affecting happiness and peace of mind. What problem
can't be solved, can be kept pending. Nothing is hard and fast in marital life. Every person
concerned must be sincere and honest towards each other and face life boldly with a promise to
share everything between them. To conclude it all, According to me, marriages will only work
out if they are ready to kill their ego’s to save their relationship. So, it actually doesn't matter if
you do a love marriage or arrange marriage.
References
Mullen, T. (2005). Love Marriages. iloveindia.
August, P. (2005, October). Arranged Marriages in the Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.
Retrieved from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arranged_marriageBowman, H. & Spanier, G.
(1978). Modern Marriage. McGraw-Hill Book Company.
O’Neil, N. & O’Neil, G. (1973, February). Open Marriage. Dushkin Publishing Company Group
Inc.

Arranged Vs Free Choice

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Arranged Vs Free Choice

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Arranged Vs Free Choice

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

Running Head: MARRIAGE CHOICES 1

Arranged vs. Free-choice marriages

Damanjot Singh Narang

Student Id: 2019012260

Email Address: damannarang2017@gmail.com

What is Marriage? It is a gradual unfolding of love, care, affection for someone

Mullen, T. (2005). Love Marriages. iloveindia.

You might also like