Case Study

Introduction
While many kids are lucky enough to become the best of friends with their siblings, it's
common for brothers and sisters and/or sisters to fight.
Often, sibling rivalry starts even before the second child is born, and continues as the
kids grow and compete for everything from toys to attention. As kids reach different
stages of development, their evolving needs can significantly affect how they relate to
one another.
It can be frustrating and upsetting to watch and hear kids or even adults fight with one
another. A household that's full of conflict is stressful for everyone. Yet often it's hard to
know how to stop the fighting, and/or even whether you should get involved at all.
One of which is the most famous and controversial Barretto Sisters. Same problem is
faced by our family friend. She has four daughters. The first and the second child are the
ones always fighting followed by the third and the fourth child. We always hear the first
and the second child harming each other physically and mentally. However, the two of
them grow old and eventually made their own families but from what the mother said
the two still fight with each other even if they’re already old enough. Now, the problem
lies in the third and fourth child because they are way worse than their sisters. Both are
still studying in good but separate schools. The third child is in college and the fourth
child is in senior high. There is never a day when we can’t hear the two of them fight.
Sometimes their mother runs to us to ask for help. It has always been their mother
since their father is a seaman. They hit each other with things, they wish each other
dead, and they don’t even consider themselves sisters. So when sleeping, their mother
should be in the middle so that they can have a peaceful night. If their mother is not in
the house and they are causing troubles, my mother tries to stop them. Recently, they
had a fight physically by pulling each other’s hair because of the household chores.
Well, sibling rivalry is a very common family problem in any household and fixing it is
never easy.
Background
The family has been our friend for almost 20 years now. We all grew up in the same
neighborhood and we have always been childhood friends with their kids. The first and
the second child are not here anymore because they already have their own families
while the third and fourth child are still in the neighborhood. I’ve chosen them because I
wanted to help them and I wanted to understand why they are like that. Base on my
interview, some of the causes are: a.They’ve seen their older sisters fight, b. One thinks
the other one is the favourite because she gets what she wants (jealousy), c. They don’t
know how to share, d. No one is there to guide them when small fights happen because
both parents are busy, e. They have different peers therefore, they have different
influences, f. They don’t have any role model at home so they seek as much attention as
they can. Because of these things, they’ve learn to hate each other.
Alternatives
Whenever possible, don't get involved. Step in only if there's a danger of physical harm.
If you always intervene, you risk creating other problems. The kids may start expecting
your help and wait for you to come to the rescue rather than learning to work out the
problems on their own. There's also the risk that you, inadvertently, make it appear to
one child that another is always being "protected," which could foster even more
resentment. By the same token, rescued kids may feel that they can get away with
more because they're always being "saved" by a parent.
If you're concerned by the language used or name-calling, it's appropriate to "coach"
kids through what they're feeling by using appropriate words. This is different from
intervening or stepping in and separating the kids.
Even then, encourage them to resolve the crisis themselves. If you do step in, try to
resolve problems with your kids. Some of the ways on how to ease sibling rivalry is to:
a. Talk to your kids openly ask them what is wrong, b. Separate kids until they're calm.
Sometimes it's best just to give them space for a little while and not immediately rehash
the conflict. Otherwise, the fight can escalate again. If you want to make this a learning
experience, wait until the emotions have died down, c. Don't put too much focus on
figuring out which child is to blame. It takes two to fight — anyone who is involved is
partly responsible, d. Always treat your kids fairly whether it be on material things or
the care you give to them because the child sees if you favour the other one, e. Always
try to fix small fights before it could get any worse, f. Spend some time with your kids.
Proposed Solution
With my family friend’s problem I recommend that they should spend some time with
their children specially that their kids are adolescents. Adolescents always need
emotional support from parents. They should ask how their day was and how are they
getting along with their friends. The parents should not show any gesture of favouritism
to any of them. One the third child asks for a new phone then, they should also give a
phone to fourth child same goes with the money given to them. The two of them should
receive the same amount of money for their “baon”. Household chores should always be
in round robin. The parents should always remind them not to be like their two older
sisters and that they should care and love each other for no matter what family will
always be a family. If things get physical, both of them should get a punishment. Maybe
all they need is discipline. Always discipline in a positive way. Let them figure out what
their mistake was and how to avoid it from happening again. If things get a little of an
emotional fight, the parents should talk openly to their kids. They should also ask
feedback from teachers on how they are in school and who their friends in school are.
When there are school works, they should encourage their children to stay at home and
bring their friends home. They might also want to take the opportunity of going to mass
on a Sunday for a family that prays together stays together.

SIBLING
RIVALRY
Submitted By: Chantal B. Mantalaba
Submitted To: Dr. Ann Marie Bandola

Rubrics
Submitted By: Chantal B. Mantalaba
Submitted To: Charess Goles, MAVEd

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Introduction

common for brothers and sisters and/or sisters to fight.

more because they're always being "saved" by a parent.

If you're concerned by the language used or name-calling, it's appropriate to "coach"

intervening or stepping in and separating the kids.

on a Sunday for a family that prays together stays together.

Submitted By: Chantal B. Mantalaba

Submitted To: Dr. Ann Marie Bandola

Submitted By: Chantal B. Mantalaba

Submitted To: Charess Goles, MAVEd

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