STEP

ONE
How to share an effective "WAR" story

http://www.bigbooksponsorship.org -- STEP ONE: How to effectively tell your "WAR" story 1

This Twelve Step Workbook Guide substitutes terms and phrases related to alcoholism to include ANY
acting-out or obsessive-compulsive addiction patterns such as, drugs and all mind altering
substances, sugar/food/overeating, nicotine, gambling, sex / love / pornography, electronic media,
self-harm / mutilation, anorexia, bulimia, over-spending / debting, cluttering / hoarding, emotions,
codependency—and anyone can certainly increase this list and all are welcome. Our format quotes
from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous, our basic recovery text. Our notes, commentary, and gender-
inclusive changes are formatted in italics. For further study, it is suggested that you get a copy of the
"Big Book" of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Our job (as Sponsors) is to explain our approach and win their (newcomers) confidence.

But the ex-problem drinker (addict) who has found this solution (our recipe for recovery), who is
properly armed with facts about them self, can generally win the entire confidence of another
alcoholic (addict) in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be
accomplished. That the person who is making the approach has had the same difficulty (lack of
control), that they obviously know what they are talking about, that their whole deportment shouts
at the new prospect that they are a person with a real answer...(AA p. 18-19)

We hope no one will consider these self-revealing accounts in bad taste. Our hope is that many
alcoholic (addict) men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it
is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, "Yes, I
am one of them too; I must have this thing." (A recipe for permanent recovery.) (AA p. 29)

http://www.bigbooksponsorship.org -- STEP ONE: How to effectively tell your "WAR" story 2

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (drugs, acting-out behaviour), that our lives
had become unmanageable. (A.A. p. 59)

Identification—"How share an effective 'war' story.

The message which can interest and hold these alcoholic (addicted) people must have depth and weight
(AA p. xxviii).

Tell them (newcomers) enough about your drinking (using, acting-out) habits, symptoms, and experiences
to encourage them to speak of themselves. (AA p. 91) Tell them how baffled you were, how you finally
learned that you were sick. Give them an account of the struggles (failed strategies) you made to stop. Show
them (newcomers) how the mental twist (how my mind lies to me) which leads to the first drink (use, act or
thought) of the spree. (AA p. 92).

Men and women drink (use or act-out) essentially because they like the effect (body allergy) produced by
alcohol (drugs, obsessive-compulsive acts) (Is this your experience - yes-no?). The sensation is so elusive that,
while they admit it is injurious (yes-no?), they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false (my
mind lies to me). To them, their alcoholic (addict) life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable
and discontented (bored, depressed, anxious), unless they can again experience the sense of ease and
comfort (body allergy) which comes at once by taking a few drinks—drinks (hits, puffs, bites, bets, acts, cuts,
thoughts, etc, ) which they see others taking (doing) with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire
again, as so many do (Is this your experience - yes-no?), and the phenomenon of craving (body allergy)
develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution
not to drink (use or act-out) again (Is this your experience - yes-no?) This is repeated over and over (Is this
your experience - yes-no?), and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very
little hope of their recovery. (AA. p. xxviii 4th ed.)

Analogy: Addicts are like drowning men and women. If we don't find some way of keeping our heads above
water, we are going to drown. So we look for some kind of power to keep us afloat. We notice there are "logs"
floating on the surface. These logs look like they're capable of keeping our heads above water, but when we
reach for one of these logs we find that we can only hold on for maybe a day, a week, a month, a year, maybe
longer, but at some point, the logs fails us as a power and we slip and drown. "Logs" are best described as
"easier softer ways," "middle of the road solutions," half measures" and "human aids.

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"My Log List: Step One: Admitting powerlessness: Check those strategies that failed to keep you
permanently abstinent.

! will power ! church, prayer (faith ! good days/bad days

! resolutions, oaths, without works) ! keeping busy
promises, contracts ! having a sponsor ! money / no money
! controlled using, ! going to meetings, 90 ! memory strategies
drinking meetings in 90 days, "remember when," "think,
! harm reduction, "meeting makers make think, think," "play the
substitution strategies it" tape all the way through"
! ill health, sickness ! yesterday's spiritual ! jail, incarceration
! ominous warnings from experience ! good reasons to stop,
a doctor, judge, lawyer, ! self-help books, personal sufficiently strong
employer development courses reasons to stop,
! change of environment, ! recovery knowledge consequences
trigger lists, avoiding ! "Big Book" reading / ! moral & philosophical
people, places, things studying convictions, reputation,
! counselling, therapy, ! intelligence / education behavioural modification
group therapy ! frothy emotional appeals, ! suffering, humiliation,
! detox, treatment centres, interventions, threats, pitiful and
spas, spiritual retreats ultimatums incomprehensible
! war stories, fear, horror ! positive thinking, demoralization
! relationships, friends, affirmations, self-talk ! sobriety time
spouse, children, family, ! poetry: "Yesterday, Today ! exercise, fasts, holistic
sex, pregnancy & Tomorrow," "The Man medicine, acupuncture,
! getting a pet (dog, cat) In the Glass" hypnotism, vitamins,
! guilt, shame, remorse healthy diet, cleansings

My Loser List: Step One: Admitting life is unmanageable. Check what you've lost as a result of your
inability to stay stopped.

! time ! careers, jobs, ! respect from ! reponsibility to
! family employment others others
! spouse ! licence (vehicle, ! self-esteem ! volition & agency
! children professional) ! self-confidence ! reputation
! friends ! education ! self-improvement ! freedom
! money ! quality of life ! self-control ! morality
! home / residence ! hope ! emotional ! spirituality / God
! health ! intelligence security ! peace of mind
! safety ! mental acuity ! responsibility for ! sanity
! hygiene ! self-respect myself ! faith
! opportunities ! humanity

If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely (Do you honestly want to stop drinking,
using or acting out - yes-no? and, based on your "log list", have you been able to stay stopped - yes-no?), or if
when drinking (using or acting out), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably
alcoholic (addict). (Do you exhibit little control, when drinking, using or acting out - yes-no? See your loser
list.) If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer.

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(AA p. 44) This is by no means a comprehensive picture of the true alcoholic (addict), as our behavior
patterns vary. But this description should identify them roughly (yes-no?). (AA p. 22).

Step One Instruction (self-diagnosis): We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that
we were alcoholics (addicts). (Do you concede the fact that you're an addict - yes-no?) This is the first step in
recovery. The delusion (lie) that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed. (Are you
convinced you're an addict- yes-no?) (AA p. 30).

The Bad News: We are without defense against the first drink (drug, obsessive-compulsive act) (Based on
your "log" list, is this your experience - yes-no?) (AA p. 24) The idea (lie) that somehow, someday they will
control and enjoy their drinking (using, acting out behavior) is the great obsession of every abnormal
drinker (user, obsessive-compulsive). Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. Many pursue
it into the gates of insanity or death (AA p. 30). (Based on your "loser" list is this your experience - yes-no?)

Now, you are now properly armed with the facts about yourself.

The Good News: There is a solution...(A.A. p. 25). If you are as seriously alcoholic (addicted) as we were, we
believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible
(Is life becoming impossible? yes-no? See your loser list.), and if we had passed into the region from which
there is no return through human aid (Are you beyond human aid? yes-no? See your log list.), we had but two
alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation
as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help . This we did because we honestly wanted to, and
were willing to make the effort (AA p. 25-26). (Are you ready and willing to accept spiritual help - yes-no?)

...and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand—once a psychic change has occurred, the
very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems they despaired of ever solving them,
suddenly finds themselves easily able to control their desire for alcohol (drugs, acting-out behaviour), the
only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules. (AA. p. xxix 4th ed.)

When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing
left for us, but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our feet. (A.A. p 25)

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