Teaching Media Robert Greenberg

How toWrite
a script The
Inside
Story
This article takes students inside the scriptwriter’s head and provides
opportunities for critical analysis, developing media literacy skills, writing
and media production.

T
he entire unit can be photocopied the world. By representing their ideal selves in
and distributed to students, read and a virtual world, they get a little closer to reach-
discussed. The article is based on ing their ideals in the real world. Set in both the
the Australian Children’s Television UK and Australia, much of the action in this
Foundation’s (ACTF) TV series Noah cutting-edge series unfolds via the internet.
& Saskia for the Middle Years. To find out more Noah & Saskia is a contemporary drama story
details about Noah & Saskia explore the set in online chat spaces familiar to many
ABC’s Noah & Saskia website at http://abc. teenagers throughout the world today.
net.au/noahandsaskia Like many films and television programs
The craft of the screenwriter for young people, Noah & Saskia is a
ISSUE 41 SCREEN EDUCATION

I have chosen Noah & Saskia to explore discussed in this article series that allows viewers to engage with
the process of scriptwriting because of its includes: a fantasy world tinged with enough reality
complexity and its appeal to children aged - Scenes providing informa- to enable them to suspend disbelief and
10–17. The series was broadcast on ABC tion simultaneously explore their own thoughts, feelings and
TV in 2004 and on the BBC in 2005. Noah & - Characterization through identity. The unique virtual setting under-
Saskia is a recommended text for English in dialogue and action pinning Noah & Saskia gives the characters
NSW, Queensland, Victoria and Tasmania. - Economy of dialogue opportunities to express themselves in
It’s the story of two teenagers who change - Storytelling in pictures multiple ways. The series reflects the zeal
84 each other’s lives, from opposite sides of - The use of surprise
- What’s going to happen
with which young people embrace online

next
communication, using an increasing array of
tools including the internet, mobile phones,
instant messages, chat rooms, web cams, and MP3
technology to socialize, download music, and create anima-
tions, photo albums, movies and other stories in all manner of
forms.

Noah & Saskia has won an Australian Writers Guild Award

(AWGIE) for best children’s script and an ATOM award for Best
Children’s TV Series, as well as winning an ATOM for Best Sec-
ondary Education Resource for the DVD of the series, accom-
panied by extensive teacher resources on interactive CD-ROM. The Layout

For the purpose of this article, I will be referring to the shooting A script for a television drama is
script ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ written by Chris Anastassiades, laid out on the page in a particu-
which can be found on the Noah & Saskia CD-ROM Educa- lar way. Broadly speaking, there
tional Resource. are four sorts of writing in a script:

The story of Noah & Saskia involves complex alternating The Scene Heading
worlds. In the first episode, the character of Saskia is intro-
duced and we find out how she and others view her life as it is 2. EXT. SCHOOLYARD – DAY
and as they would like it to be. We learn that Saskia is upset
ISSUE 41 SCREEN EDUCATION

because some faceless computer geek has stolen her music. Every scene starts with a scene heading. The ‘2’ refers to
She seeks revenge, only to discover that the faceless geek is a scene number two. EXT. is abbreviation for Exterior, meaning it
funny, charming guy called Max – or is he? is set outside. INT. is the abbreviation for Interior and would be
used for say, the following scene, which takes place inside the
High quality children’s drama scripts follow all the precepts of school library.
high quality adult drama scripts. So a detailed reading of the
script of the first episode of Noah & Saskia will give an insight Big Print or Action
into the writing skills needed for creating dramatic moments
and characterizing speakers through action and words. Two girls, 14, SASKIA and RENEE walk down a 85
 Teaching Media Robert Greenberg
school corridor. SASKIA is stomping. someone called Saskia is out to get a reputed, tough character
called Max Hammer.
These are the words that describe the action that we see. In
most cases, it follows on directly from a scene heading and This first scene, then, is a good example of the scriptwriter’s
then is used throughout a scene to describe what we see. skill. In a very economical way, just on one-and-a-half pages,
which, in the layout presented, is approximately one-and-a-
Character Name half minutes of screen time, we’ve established Max Hammer,
intrigued the audience and kick-started the story.
SASKIA
Screenwriting is similar to other forms of storytelling: there has
This denotes who is speaking the line of dialogue. It is indented. to be a ‘what’s going to happen next’ feel about it, and the
ending or ‘tag’ of scene 1 provides this, in addition to every-
Dialogue thing else the scene achieves. It raises the question of how the
character who said ‘he’s a dead man’ is going to follow through
I want revenge, Renee. Nobody steals my music on their threat.
and gets away with it.
All of that in one scene. Give a script a cursory glance and
These are the words that a character speaks. They are in- it looks easy. Delve a little deeper and the skill of the writer
dented. reveals itself. And one of the skills that reveals itself here is how
densely packed with information this scene is. Scenes must be
The first episode of any TV series has to hook the viewer’s busy. They must do many things, and do them simultaneously.
interest immediately. In Noah & Saskia the script does this This is the craft of screenwriting.
by giving us visuals of ‘flying high over a city’. The camera is
In scene 2, Saskia says she wants revenge on
swooping. The audience is intrigued. We’re hearing voices but
Max Hammer, because he stole her music.
we’re not seeing the speakers. That’s what VO means next to
the character’s names – voice-over.
SASKIA
And the voices are talking about someone called Max Hammer. I’m gonna find him and paint my nails with his
blood.
In one page, the writer skillfully tells us about this character,
that he’s ‘A cyber legend. Don’t mess with him’. On page 2 RENEE
of the script, still with scene 1, the writer does what I call the You? Do your nails? As if Sas.
‘three beats’.
This is an example of economical dialogue, a ‘must have’ tool in
Kid 2 the screenwriter’s bag of tricks. In one exchange, with a line of
He’s a hero. dialogue for each, the writer has characterized Saskia and Renee
and, simultaneously, told the audience about the relationship be-
Pakistani kid tween the two characters. Saskia talks tough. Her line of dialogue
He’s a psycho. and the use of the word blood says this. The writer also tells us
that Renee is Saskia’s friend because of the way Renee’s line of
Kid 4 dialogue undercuts Saskia’s tough talking. And Renee’s line of
He’s dangerous. dialogue also tells us that Renee is the kind of girl who does her
nails, but Saskia is the kind of girl who never does. The whole
They are the three beats of description, presenting an intrigu- relationship is summed up in this deceptively simple exchange.
ing picture of someone we haven’t met yet, someone called
Max Hammer. The three beats have the metre of poetry and Dialogue in a script has two purposes: it must characterize the
this is achieved through the repetition of the word ‘he’s’. Then, speaker and it must create pace in the narrative. This exchange
the writer brings in a simple line that cleverly does many things does both. We know more about both Saskia and Renee from
simultaneously. their dialogue, and the story is pushed forward because Saskia
tells us that she has something very nasty in store for Max
Saskia
ISSUE 41 SCREEN EDUCATION

Hammer.
He’s a dead man.

This line of dialogue picks up on the descriptions that have pre- Workshop: Find the opening paragraphs of
ceded it and the metre of the line brings finality to statement. your favourite book and write a one-page script that
The line also throws us outward; that is, it makes us wonder characterizes the character(s), sets the scene, and
who said these words and makes us want to see them in the provides a kick-start to the story.
next scene. And it sets up the premise of this episode. That
86
A writer must interpret the words that are written in what is SASKIA
called a series bible (a very detailed description of all of the This is a simple story. Girl with phenomenal
characters, themes and issues) and turn them into dramatic musical talent seeks internet creep who stole her
moments in a script that can then be produced to create dy- music and is using it without her permission. I’m
namic moments on a screen. No mean feat. the girl, my name is Saskia. Renee is my best
friend and Gerald … you don’t want to know.
Scene 3, page 6 is an example of this. Renee and Saskia (Beat) OK … Cut to later.
have snuck into the school library to access the internet when
clearly they are not allowed to. Renee is worried that they will This speech simultaneously characterizes Saskia and tells the
be caught. And they are. Ms Cascarino, the librarian, catches audience this is how Saskia is going to talk to them. The final
them. She is shocked to find that it’s Renee. Saskia quickly line ‘cut to later’ has an inherent assumption in it. It assumes
makes up an excuse, saving herself and her friend Renee. the audience is visually literate, that the audience understands
filmic conventions and will understand the joke if the writer
SASKIA decides to refer to those conventions.
It’s not her fault Miss. It’s her dad.
Exposition is a screenwriting term for telling the audience
MS CASCARINO/RENEE something it needs to know. At the heart of the term is the
Her what?/My what? word ‘expose’, meaning ‘to reveal’. Exposition needs to occur
in all scripts. How exposition happens in a script is a reflection
SASKIA upon the talents of the scriptwriter. In the hands of the less-ex-
He’s been sucked into this obscure internet cult perienced scriptwriter, exposition slows down the storytelling.
who believe the one true ruler of the universe In the hands of the experienced scriptwriter, exposition is invis-
is a talking dog that lives in Wisconsin and he’s ible. The audience is unaware that it has been given informa-
planning to go there and worship it. But I found tion it needs because the exposition is disguised. Exposition is
this site that proves they’re bogus. best delivered hidden inside drama.

Saskia’s excuse saves the moment for both her and Renee. Not Scene 6, pages 8 and 9, demonstrates skillful handling of
because the teacher believes it, but because (it’s implied in the exposition. Saskia has approached Gerald, ‘a cyber lothario’ to
dialogue) she is confounded by such an implausible excuse. help her get into a chat room and confront Max Hammer. The
script needs to impart some information about chat rooms and
MS CASCARINO how they operate. We need exposition.
I don’t want to hear it. Just … go.
GERALD (cont’d)
The series bible tells us that Saskia is ‘impetuous, unafraid of ‘K, we’re in. Now, you haven’t picked an avatar,
anyone or anything’. The bible also refers to Saskia’s alter ego so you’ll look weird compared to the others.
Indie as ‘the kind of capable independent feisty girl who’d wink
at teachers and talk her way out of trouble’. Here then, in this RENEE
exchange on page 6, is the scriptwriter’s craft of interpreting Avatar?
the bible and turning a character trait into a dramatic moment.
SASKIA
A script creates its own reality and then sticks to it. That is, the It’s you in chat. You make yourself.
reality of the world that the script takes the audience into must
be established and the parameters set. Inextricably linked with RENEE
this is the style and tone of a script. Is the story set in the real You make yourself?
world where things we see on the screen are very close to the
world as we know it, as in Paul Goldman’s 2002 feature film Aus- GERALD
tralian Rules? Or is the style and tone something different than You can search for Max Hammer using –
the real world as we know it, as in Baz Luhrmann’s 1996 film
Romeo + Juliet? (Where the opening images of a newsreader SASKIA dumps him out of the chair and takes
delivering Shakesperian iambic pentameter from a TV screen his place.
ISSUE 41 SCREEN EDUCATION

establishes the reality of the world we are about to enter.)

In the above sequence, the exposition is limited to the very ba-
The end of scene 4, on page 7 of the Noah & Saskia, script sic information the audience needs. Nothing more. That inside
sees the scriptwriter clearly establish the rules of the series. a chat room, people look different. They have avatars. The rest
of the information we see in scene 6B, when Saskia enters the
The room goes dark. A spotlight hits Saskia. She world of chat. And this follows a basic rule of screenwriting:
speaks directly to camera. ‘don’t say it, show it’.

In addition to limiting the amount of exposition in this scene, 87

 Teaching Media Robert Greenberg
the writer does two other things. Firstly, just as the audience
may think that it’s going to get a lesson on avatars and the Workshop: Read the first few pages of a book
world of chat, the writer surprises us. Saskia pushes Gerald out you know well. Discuss with a partner how much of
of his chair. Writing for the screen is about keeping the audi- the narrative depends on description and how much
ence surprised with what is going to happen next. ‘I didn’t ex- on dialogue. How would the description in the book be
pect that’ is the reaction the screenwriter is looking for. As well, translated to screen?
Saskia’s action in pushing Gerald out of the chair is a good
example of another screenwriting axiom: ‘character is action’.
What this means is that what tells us most about a character is Scripts must continue to build upon scenes that have come
what they do. So a screenwriter is always looking for an action before them and add new information. The screenwriter does
that sums up a character. Saskia pushing Gerald out of the this in scene 13 on page 17.
chair is a dramatic execution of something the series bible tells
us about Saskia: that she is impetuous. SASKIA turns to camera.

Max Hammer’s character is very quickly established in a similar SASKIA

way, with action, at the end of scene 6 on pages 11 and 12. Ok, so I have a smidge of performance anxiety.
There was no reason you had to see that.
MAX HAMMER
Reality is what you make it. Saskia is a referring to the previous scene, where she is busking
and ‘a little kid on roller blades steals the hat the money was in.’
Out to SASKIA who bends to type, but before This scene builds upon the style of the series that the scriptwriter
she can … has established. Previously, when Saskia has spoken to camera
(at the end of the scene 4 and at the end of scene 7) she has
MAX HAMMER given the audience the impression that she is in control of what
Two, this reality is mine. she shows. The above sequence shows she’s not in control. And,
because she is not in total control of what the audience sees
And ‘pfft’, she is ejected from the chat room. about her – so they can see embarrassing things as well – it actu-
Webweave disappears and we are at the login ally characterizes Saskia. Saskia is the character who is not in
page. Silence. control of her life, who chooses to become who she wants to be
– by becoming Indie, the girl in control, the girl in the chat room.
This sequence in the script exhibits the surprise element re-
ferred to earlier. The ‘silence’ at the end of the scene provides
a full stop to the surprising action that Saskia is kicked out of Workshop: What is the book equivalent of
chat before she gets a chance to say very much. In addition, speaking to camera? Discuss other TV programs where
this sequence also establishes the series premise and char- characters speak to camera. What effect does this
acterizes Max Hammer through action. Again, it does these produce and when is it most used?
things simultaneously. The series premise is encapsulated in
Max’s dialogue, ‘reality is what you make it’ and ‘this reality is
mine’. Max Hammer certainly lives up to his reputation of being Screenwriting is about telling a story in pictures. And one tool
a tough guy in his decisive action of kicking Saskia out of the in the screenwriter’s toolbox is what I call the family photo
chat room. Character is action. scene. We see it often in films and television, and we see it
often during the opening credits of a film. The camera pans
Saskia’s speech at the beginning of scene 10 on page 15 is an across a mantelpiece full of photos. In an adult drama, it might
example of the screenwriter saying to the audience, ‘we under- show a young man and a young woman at high school to-
stand each other, we understand filmic conventions’. gether, the next photo is the man and the woman, a little older,
on their wedding day, then a photo of the two of them proudly
TIGHT on SASKIA in her street. standing out the front of a new house with a ‘For Sale’ sign and
a ‘Sold’ sticker across the sign. Then there might be another
SASKIA picture of the man and the pregnant woman, holding a baby.
Figured you didn’t want to see the rest of the In this way, the screenwriter tells the audience the story of the
walk home. This is my street …
ISSUE 41 SCREEN EDUCATION

people we are about to meet in the film.

The first line of Saskia’s speech makes a reference to the writ- Scene 15 uses this convention as Saskia takes the audience into
ing of drama: that is, don’t show anything on the screen unless her home and we see pictures of Saskia’s mother, with a com-
there is drama in it, and unless it serves a purpose for the story. mentary from Saskia. On page 19, the screenwriter builds upon
Unless there is some drama to be found in Saskia walking this filmic convention as Saskia takes us through ‘my mother’s
home, there is no need to show it. The scriptwriter, through expectations for me when I was born …’ and shows us:
Saskia, is telling the audience that he knows that. And that he’s
88 aware that they know it too.
Another sequence of photos – into the next scene. We are intrigued by the photo of Saskia
in the chicken shop uniform; we want to know more and there
... tennis superstar by 14, Supreme Court judge can be no other place for the screenwriter to take us to for an
by 25, Prime Minister by 30, discovering the explanation except a chicken shop. Which is exactly where the
cure for cancer after a record 12 terms in office screenwriter takes us next.
during which I’ve wiped third world debt,
eradicated sexism and had my father tracked In conclusion, the art of the screenwriter is to tell a story in
down, stuffed and mounted for my mother’s pictures, to create characters through dramatic action, and to
amusement. do this economically.

BACK to SASKIA. To order Noah & Saskia and explore the free online lesson plans
visit the ACTF’s website www.actf.com.au
SASKIA (cont’d)
Then, I started talking and the expectations got Robert Greenberg has worked with Chris Anastassiades on a
adjusted. number of children’s television projects including Lift Off, Li’l Elvis
Jones and the Truckstoppers and Round the Twist, for which he
CUT TO: A beautifully framed photo of Saskia won an Australian Writers Guild Award (AWGIE) for one of his
dressed in chicken shop employee uniform: scripts. All were produced by the Australian Children’s Television
‘Employee of the month’. Foundation. He was also involved in the development of Noah &
Saskia. He is currently script producer on Media World’s twenty-
The screenwriter has built upon the convention by having the six-part BBC/NINE children’s animation series Dogstar. Robert’s
photo wall being part of Saskia’s imagination. And then surpris- children’s book The Greeblies, a series of five grossly compelling
ing the audience at the end of the scene but snapping us back stories about bugs, will be published by Penguin in March 2006.
to reality with a humorously contrasting picture of Saskia. And Robert is represented by Booked Out speakers’ agency. •
simultaneously, the end of the scene throws us outwards and

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