Hey there,

Aren’t we all tired of hearing our parents shun dating without attempting to even explain what it
entails and why they discourage it? Parents typically say,” Why do you want to date in the first place,
if you start dating now it’s going to affect your studies”, “No dating in this house till you finish high
school, let me hear you are dating again and you will see what I will do” Doesn’t that sound all too
familiar?

Well if you are like most teenagers that’s all you have been “taught” so far on the subject of dating
from home-that plus a couple of don’ts without any explanation coupled with exaggerated
drawbacks of dating. Of course you and I know that, “Just don’t do it” isn’t enough. I know that you
are looking for real answers to tough questions and I can assure you that My dating app will help
you with that- it is not afraid or shy to tell you all the “uncensored” truth you need to know about
sex and dating.

This little book does not take the usual long and boring lecturing type of approach to dating issues
rather it takes a straight forward, honest conversational approach to sexuality and the pressures
facing teen girls today. The topics addressed and the real-life case studies hit to the heart of where
you are as a teenage girl. This isn't a sanitized, Christianized, moralized “just don’t date or don’t
indulge in sexual activities” approach but a practical one to provide you with wisdom to deal with
what’s pressurising you as a young lady.

Teen years are a crucial age for you because a lot of what happens during this time sets the tone for
the rest of your life. These years are fun but they can be challenging too- body image issues,
crushies, girl drama etc, navigating these waters can be emotionally challenging. Chatting and
course correcting with someone who is caring, non-judgmental and experienced in dealing with
teen issues is vital. This is what this book is all about.

This could be the most honest and relevant book you will ever read about teen dating, so why not let
the fun begin. All the best.

Taffy

Chapter one: Teen Coaching

Teen life coaching is about helping girls get a safe space to share their triumphs, explore their
struggles, seek answers and develop tools to create a life of confidence, success and happiness.
Coaching will help you feel capable and equipped to face life’s challenges and to make it through the
tough times with your self-esteem intact. As you read the stories you will be able to get the full
picture on what coaching really is.

Is there a problem with dating a guy who is way older than you?

#Hello Taffy, my name is Jane I’m 15 years old. I got your number from my friend she says you are a
Teen Life coach and you are an expert in teen issues so I have got a few issues I don’t know if you
can help.
@Hey Jane, nice knowing you. Yah I am a Teen coach, my purpose is to help teens discover, unlock
and unleash their God given potential through giving them a safe environment to freely &
confidently express their feelings and ask questions about any issues be it school, family life, dating,
sexual issues etc. In a nutshell I coach teens to become experts in the game of life and be able to
“score “great goals in life.

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# Great so does this mean nobody gets to know about the things I will share with you?
@Absolutely everything stays between us. Happy?
#Yeaaaaaaa!!!!!
@If you are happy and you know it nod your heard (lol)
# Kkkkkkk. Well here is my story. I am a bit confused and expect a secretive friend who will help me
make wise decisions concerning dating. My parents are very strict and do not allow dating so I’m
scared of asking them questions and later on tell them that I have a bae. My friends say that I am a
prude so I’ve decided I’m going to try a few things to feel experienced but at the same time I feel like
I will be lowering my values as a Pastor’s kid.
@Wooow!!!, I am impressed with your level of honesty Jane, many Christian girls I know will lie and
pretend they know nothing about dating. Honesty is an important virtue; it will take you far in life.
Anywhere what are some of the stuffs you have tried is sex one of them?
# Thanks for the complement. Sex nah-I will never do that, I am not ready to have a baby yet. We
usually just kiss and he touches me sometimes.
@Okay what’s your guy’s name and how old is he?
# Joseph but I call him Joe he’s 25 but he has a baby face and is so cute you would think he is a
teenager. Do you think he is too old for me?
@ Loool someone is madly in love here, well I will reserve my comment for now but will tell you
soon. So what other things would you like to try that’s more than kissing, hugging and touching?
# Well Joe once asked for my nudes but then I freaked out, I thought what if someone else would
see and publish them? My dad would literally bury me alive so I decided to just take a photo of my
“cookie” (vagina) with my phone and sent it via snapchat to him. Nobody can really tell that it’s my
photo because I didn’t put the rest of my body besides snapchat quickly deletes the photo but he
took a snapshot though (do you think what I did was wise?).
@That was a good way to avoid the risk of public shame because, trust me usually when a guy gets
his girlfriend’s nudes he shares them with his friends to show off that he has got his girlfriend in
control.
# I feel you just said it was a good thing because that’s the right thing to say. Joe is in bible school
and he preaches a lot at church, he is also in the Praise and worship-I really trust him. He promised
that he would never share the pic with anyone. Anywhere let me finish my story, he asked me to
take a shower with him at his house (apparently he stays alone).He knows that I vowed to be a virgin
till marriage so he promised never to touch me. I went to his house and took a shower with him and
true to his word nothing happened.
@ So Jane, weren’t you shy and afraid to be completely naked in front of a guy?
# Well we had discussed the thing with my friends before so I wasn’t really afraid-just a little. But I
felt super-shy, I kept my legs tightly closed (shy shy) all the time so he didn’t see much lol. Now, this
happened twice but the next time he said let’s do “fingering”-he wanted to insert his finger into
my…..you know so I refused and quickly dressed up and ran away but he later apologised. Some of
my friends said they do fingering sometimes so I want to ask-will I lose my virginity if I do that?
# Thanks Jane for pouring out, it is easy to get help when you tell the truth. Let me ask you a
question before I answer you. Do you know anyone who is 10 years younger than you?
@Yes I do, I actually have a younger bro who is 5 and yoooh-hes a bunch of troubles, and he doesn’t
even listen to me-always doing some crazy stuff.
# Lool what’s his name?
@Tawana
#Cool now, it’s only natural for him to do that because his mind has not yet developed to the same
level as yours. The age difference between you and Tawana is the same as the one between you and
Joe so he definitely reasons far better than you, making it easier for him to take advantage of you or
manipulate you if he chooses to. There is a part of the brain called the Prefrontal cortex ( please
google about it) it is responsible for controlling emotions including sexual urges, it is also responsible

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for abstract thinking meaning it is the one that helps you make rational decisions. That part of the
brain only matures to that of an adult in your mid-20s around the age of 25, as a teenager it is still
work in progress so most of the decisions you make at this age are emotion based and in our context
hormone driven no-wonder many women later on regret the decisions that they made as teenagers.
This is also the reason why even if as a 15 year old you consent to sex its still considered rape
because your mind (prefrontal cortex) is not yet mature enough to fully appreciate the benefits and
or consequences of decisions of such a magnitude, you get it?
@ Woow, enlightening but ummmmmm, does that mean I have to dump Joe? That’s not going to be
easy. I can’t just let go because we’ve got big plans
# Big plans? Interesting lol. Do you mind sharing with me?
@I know you are a coach and I am supposed to tell you the truth but this one is our little secret.
# Okay no problem, now Jane I would like to teach you to make wise decisions on your own. I know I
haven’t answered some of your questions so I am going to take you through a session on sexuality
and dating and from what you learn in there I want you to make your own decisions. Howz that?
@That sounds cool-I like being the boss lool. Did I tell you that I wanna be a great business woman
who will invent new technologies? Maybe I will be the female version of Mark Zuckerberg
#Wow I am impressed. I now want to be your friend lol, so we’ve talked for today haven’t we?
Remind me tomorrow so that we can do that session on dating. It’s been nice chatting. Have a great
night
@I don’t mind having you as a friend at least I can share with you my secrets. And that secret
between me and Joe-we vowed that we would marry each other that’s why I trust him so much.
Thank you so much for the talk I feel so much relieved. Good night, sweet dreams.

Chapter 2: The Session starts

@Hi Teen Coach, I’m not sure of your working hours but yah, ready for that session you promised.
# Hey there, good to hear from you. What up?
@ Nothing much. How are you?
# Fantastic, thanks. Now promise me you won’t get shy as we talk about this.
@Promise, even if I get shy I will pretend I am not lol
# Cool, do you want to know what you can do should you get shy?
@Yah
# You just answer the questions I will be asking with your eyes closed so I won’t be able to see you
ahahahaha
@Kkkkkkkkk you so funny Taffy
# Now let’s get down to serious business. Do you know what secondary sexual characteristics are,
the ones you get at puberty?
@ Not really
# Well there are slight differences between baby girls and boys-one of the only major difference is
their private parts and that’s called primary sexual characteristics but then at puberty ( the time
when the body of a child starts developing into that of an adult) more distinct features between
boys and girls start to be seen
@ ouuuw I think I now know, like hips and butt starts to grow?
# yah,so now tell me all the characteristics you know, including the ones you don’t like lool
@ Well, hips grow, boobs, periods, voice sweetens, stretch marks and the one I hate, pubic hair, so
irritating so I’ve got to shave every now and then, can you imagine the first time mum had to do it
for me?
# She had to do what for you?
@ She took off my panties and taught me how to shave by actually doing it herself, it was so weird
and I felt so embarrassed lol.
# loool, Jane is that the kind of staff you share with your male coach?

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@ Whatever.No reason to be shy, I once had a health problem and my vagina had to be examined by
a male doctor, so no big deal.
# Okay enough of that, so do you have any body image issues?
@ Well my friend has got lots of those-her boobs are too big, bum is flat ,hips are too little and her
inner thighs are so dark yet she still wears a swim suit and never really seem to care I wonder how
she does it. Wish I had her-self-esteem.
# Loool, “bad” friend why talk about someone else here. This is between me and you.
@ Kkkkk, well my butt, hips and boobs are all the right size and my tummy is flat just a little stretch
marks that I don’t like though but they are no big deal. I can always hide them
#Okay, lucky you.
@ Well Taffy, to be honest I have a serious one which I haven’t told anyone, not even my friends.
Please don’t tell anyone. The thing is my cookie is too fat, one day I was wearing my swimming
costume at the pool and I had this terrible camel toe, some guys saw it and gave some nasty
comments since then I am no longer comfortable wearing certain clothes.
# I’m so sorry hey, those guys where mean to have done that but anywhere let me ask you a
question. What part of your body do you value the most and why?
@ My vagina of course, because it is the part that defines me as a woman, and when Joe finally
marries me I must be a virgin.
# Loool so you value it even more than your heart or mind? Well I respect what you have said Jane
but from today I would like you to think of yourself as a somebody capable of transforming the
world and not just in terms of being a somebody’s-(a good wife to please a husband). Your sexy
looks are cool but value your mind more-the world will respect you more if you can refine your mind
and come up with new technologies to solve problems just as your dream is. Nobody really cares
about how you look down there. I guess that’s what your friend with a not-so- perfect body has
learnt, what’s inside her is more important than her looks no wonder she’s confident.
@ Woow. I had never thought of it that way, but my aunt said if you don’t pull some items in
your….you know, until they become long your husband will divorce you. So I tried it once but left it
because it was painful. Do you think it will affect me when I grow up?
# I am not really sure but I don’t think any civilised man will dumb a woman for that, it is a primitive
culture practiced by some women in Africa, I think the best person to ask will be mum.
@ Mum? You don’t know my mum-we don’t discuss such things, we only talk bible and school lol.
But you said it’s primitive so I won’t do it since I am not primitive lol. But Taffy how is the whole
secondary sexual characteristics thing related to my questions about dating. I am a bit confused
now, aren’t just being nosy?
#Patience dear, you will see shortly. Jane, how old were you when got your mps and how old where
you when they got regular?
@That’s another thing, my mum was so mean, can you imagine she never taught me anything about
periods. All she did was stick a pad in my panties and telling me that I should do that when I get my
period. Taffy what do you do when your mps are so painful?
# Well I don’t know much since I’ve never had them lol, but I understand that drinking lots of water,
regular physical exercise and warming the abdominal area could help the blood to flow better hence
ease the pain but you can ask someone who knows better-Mr google can also help. You didn’t
answer my question though.
@ I was 12 when I got my periods and they got regular in form 1, when I was 13. Why ask?
# Usually when puberty starts and those boobs, hips etc start developing, guys (esp the older ones)
start nagging you but you might even be annoyed, however as your mps start you begin to have
inner feelings for guys which might lead to a crush but still the feelings might be overpowered by
your fear of mum/dad so you might not date even if you want to. Then comes the time when your
mps get regular and now you might fail to hold in the feelings and end up “succumbing” to dating.
Can you relate to that?

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@ So true, I had a crush on this guy when I was in grade 7.His name was Adriel and we were in the
same class, he liked me too and even told me but I told him I didn’t like him because I was afraid of
what could happen if my parents found out. I then started dating third term form one then we broke
up so Joe is my second bf.
# Typical story of most teens, that is so because your mps are the major regulator of your sexual
feelings. Anywhere we now need to move on
@Woow, I’m learning so much-I wish I had met you 3 years ago
#:Now I want you to understand this: Human beings have got 3 basic cravings and each of these
requires a certain level of discipline that comes with maturity to effectively manage it.
Craving 1: Sleep-we all crave to sleep, no one can manage without it. As you know a baby has no
discipline at all when it comes to sleeping, it can sleep anywhere at any time but an adult like Jane
will not just sleep anywhere even if she feels like it.

She won’t sleep in class even when she is feeling sleepy, will she? Now that’s called discipline and
you've gotten it coz you are now a little mature. Understood?
@ Loool, I sometimes sleep in the biology class, the lessons are so boring sometimes but I
understand what you mean.
# Let’s move on. Craving 2: Eating, ever noticed how babies will put every they touch to the mouth?
Then as they grow they will become a little disciplined and start eating only what’s edible. From that
stage they start to be taught not to eat from other people’s homes-so even if they feel like eating
they won’t if they are at other people’s homes.

Until they get to Jane's level where they can even diet that’s forgoing this craving and it takes lots of
discipline-only mature people can do that. The third one is secondary, you are not born with it, it
comes at a later stage in life, the stage you are at now. Guess what it is
@ Ummmmmm, not good at guessing. Romance?
# Bravo!!!! Lol
# Craving # 3: This one is secondary; it comes along with secondary sexual characteristics at puberty.
It’s the craving for romance, suddenly you start wanting attention from the opposite sex, and you
now want more than just a brother.

At this stage your hormones will start running havoc in you; you now start having crushes on guys,
you no longer want to dress drab, you now want to look sexy and all, you are now very conscious of
your looks. Now lots of teens mistake these strong feelings for certain guys for love yet it’s not, they
are mere feelings no wonder after a while people may break up and actually start hating each other.
The same way you matured to be able to discipline yourself to even fast when you feel hungry you
also need to disciplined yourself not to fall in love with a guy just because you have strong feelings
for him.
@ I now see the reason me and my ex kinda hate each other now. But I thought feelings were
everything. What is love then?
# I will answer the other part later but for now one thing you need to know is that feelings are fickle-
they come and go. Along the dating relationship your feelings for your guy might fade yet his feelings
for you will still be there or vice versa his feelings might fad and you will still be “madly” in love with
him so he might start acting up and finally dump you then Jane will be left heart-broken lool
@ Ouuuuw I see, so is that the reason why boys say that you should sleep with them so that you can
strengthen the bond between yourselves?
# Lool…ever heard what guys say when they talk about girls they would have slept with?
@ I f****d her? Not sure
# And you think that is a language of love? Of course not. Sometimes guys sleep with girls just to
nurse their egos, it gives them a sense of pride to have done that to a girl then they can have

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something to brag about to their friends. Funny thing is sometimes shortly after sleeping with you
they will actually get fed up with you. So the creating a bond thing is deception.
@ That’s what happened to my cousin, after her guy slept with her, he disappeared and now she is
afraid she might be pregnant. She said it was a mistake though but how can sex happen by mistake?
# There are certain parts on your body which wen touched can get you turned on...e.g. your waste,
neck, lips, boobs etc..when touched the sexual hormones around those areas are activated and you
might end up wetting your panties. Has that ever happened to you?
@A lot of times, does that mean I am too mischievous?
#Not really, what had happened?
@First time when it really happened, I was in form one and Gari ( my boyfriend then) came to our
house so we got into the garage and started doing romance he squeezed my butt and I then felt wet
down there, it was really uncomfortable but fun though lool. I then rushed to the bathroom and I
saw this whitish liquid staff.
# Were you not afraid of being caught in the garage?
@ Lool only mum was home and at that time she was bathing. Gari was her friend’s son so he
pretended he had been sent by his mum. Then the other time it was with Joe, remember I told you I
once took a shower with him right? So I went with him to his house in Westgate, ooh yea we kissed
and touched then ended up wetting my panties (just an expression I wasn’t wearing one, I was only
wearing my dress had left it in the bathroom)...we were both horny that time and wanted more than
kissing ...he touched my p****y and woow felt more horny and started moaning but the funny part
is he asked me if I wanted to have sex and l said no but l was horny.
# I am sure you now understand what I meant when I said it can be hard to control yourself, if he
had wanted to sleep with you would have been defenceless. But how does all this make you feel
about your relationship with God?
@ To be honest, I feel so distant from God, at times I have this heavy guilty conscience and I can’t
even pray but on the other hand I don’t want to disappoint Joe so it’s hard to break up. Taffy , I
usually feel horny close to and just after my mps-is that normal?
# It is normal, what matters is what you do about it
@ Well sometime I “sext” with my boyfriend but I am no longer comfortable though last time we did
it I ended up literally shaking because I couldn’t control myself and I think mumy saw it and was
suspicious but she said nothing, I think I have a problem Taffy, during my mps I am so sensitive that
even talking to a guy I like can affect me. Actually it happened last week Friday ,I was watching this
movie on my laptop then l saw two people kissing so l think it's the movie which caused it ,,,but l
didn't wet my panties like I sometimes do it was just a drop.
# This is deep you should be shy now, lool
@ I want to learn Taffy that’s why I am being honest; you know I cannot tell anyone else this stuff.
# Cool, for now you need regular physical exercise, it will help you manage your hormones better.
You also need to change your focus I guess you are spending lots of time fantasising thats why it’s
happening too much.
@ True that, even in class,I sometimes think about Joe
#You need to listen attentively now, love is an unconditional, selfless and enduring value that lasts
for all time. Ever heard marriage vows at a wedding? Now that’s what love is about-it’s
unconditional. To be able to date the right guy you need to first "own yourself" i.e. understand your
God given purpose, have a clear vision for your life and set supporting values.

Many women end up sacrificing their dreams for the sake of man, some would rather sleep with a
man and get pregnant than pursue and finish their studies. Some would rather spend time with their
dude than spend time researching about a business they are interested in. With values your dating
will be purposeful and your dreams will never be lost in your guy’s dreams.

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After carefully thinking about the future you want you can then date a guy whose purpose, vision
and values are compatible with yours, that way u will be able to share your lives together in
harmony with your guy. God created romance as a pleasurable gift for people who already love each
other. If physical attraction becomes the primary basis for choosing a partner then that relationship
won’t last coz with time the feelings will just fade away...you get it?
@ I'm getting so emotional I've honestly never had such a conversation with anyone. It’s honest,
bonding and only the bible has better words. I can confidently affirm that meeting you was destined
to be. I may have known some of these things but I've engraved them deeper into my blood now.

Your hand has reached to one fading soul, I have now found the strength to stop the stupid
romance I was having with Joe, I am sending him a message right now if he insists on romance then I
am prepared to leave him.

# that’s it for today, feeling sleepy now. We will finish tomorrow.

@ Thanks so much Taffy, you are that brother I never had, the best “aunt” I can tell and ask anything
without even being shy. Good night. I love you bro
# Love you too.

Chapter 3: Tania meets coach Tafadzwa

TN: Hey Tafadzwa, my name is Tania, Jane referred me to you I have got some questions to ask you,
if you don’t mind.
TC: Hie Tania, I wonder what she told you about me, I’m now “scared” lol
TN; Yah she told me a lot of nasty things about you kkk.I’m kidding; well she said you are a coach and
you help teenagers with their issues. My first question is: can a virgin get pregnant? I will ask the
other ones later
TC: Odd question lol. Yah it’s possible you remember the story of Jesus’s birth? But just out of
curiosity, why did you ask?
TN: Please don’t tell Jane what I am going to tell you, we are not that close so there is a lot of stuff
she doesn’t know about me. Last week I went to a friend’s pool party, my friend and her 2 other
friends had their boyfriends and I was the only one without a guy because I don’t do the whole boys
stuff. My friend sought of set me up for a date and invited this other dude, anywhere to cut the long
story short, we all ended up having baes. As the part went on we decided to have some drinks (I
didn’t know there was some alcohol in it) after that we then got into our bikinis and jumped into the
pool (girls only).

My friend then suggested that we remove our bikini bottoms and throw them out of the pool, as
stupid as the idea was, we all bought into it, I guess I was already somewhat drunk because I
wouldn’t has done such a thing in my sober mind. As soon as the boys saw the bikini bottoms they
took them and ran into the dining room, we waited thinking they would come back but they never
did so we finally followed them stuck naked-we just had our bras. Each guy had one bottom and
mine was with that other dude. The guys said that we would not get our bottoms till we dry humped
with them, Tafa it happened so fast I don’t know if I had lost my mind or what but I did it and now I
regret ever going to the party. How could I ever done such a thing with a dude I barely knew?

TC:I hope you are feeling better now that you have shared with someone
TN: Thanks for understanding Tafadzwa, now the thing is the guy was only wearing his underwear
but I wasn’t he rubbed his genitals against mine and I am suspecting some fluid could have gotten
into me, I didn’t worry that much then but now I am worried because I was supposed to get my
period but I haven’t yet. Does this mean I am pregnant Tafadzwa?

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TC: I don’t think so Tania, there are high chances that you only missed your period because of
anxiety, you are too worried that you might be pregnant and as a result you might have
unconsciously conditioned your body to think that you are. Hard to explain but yah that’s it. Dry
humping can still make you prone to STDs though.
TN: Phew!!!!, feeling better now. STDs are better than pregnancy lol. Now my other question, is
there a verse that says Mb is a sin?
TC: What’s Mb?
TN: Musturbation, we were having that discussion with some of my friends that’s why I asked. I read
a certain book that said it was a safe alternative to sex and it can also keep you healthy.
TC: From the way you asked I assume you are a Christian, as Christians our standard is the bible so
what another author might say about any subject doesn’t really matter, that’s their own way of
thinking. You won’t even find the word musturbation in the bible but anything that makes you feel
guilty when doing it is not right for you. Most people who do it become addicted and when you
become a slave to a habit then that also is a problem
TN: So how can one break that habit?
TC: Well it normally starts in the mind; one has to consciously focus on other productive things other
than sex to overcome it. Friends, the media, things one spends most of their time watching, reading
and listening to influences what you end up doing-so avoiding stuffs that makes you think about it
can help. You can also pray and proclaim your victory over whatever bad habit you might have.
TN: Well I am not the one who is addicted to it, I don’t do such things it’s so gross. But I understand
what you are saying, when I was in form one, I had older friends who took me into their clique and
started teaching me how to do it by playing with some little “item’ down there. So you would either
do it alone or with someone else. I prefer doing it to someone but not to myself. So yah I first learnt
it from friends like you said
TC: Are you dating Tania?
TN: Yep
TC: I thought you said you don’t do boys stuff
TN: Yes, I don’t date boys
TC: Ouw okay, so you want to marry a girl?
TN: Hell no…I won’t do such a thing-it’s shameful. It’s not like we really date in fact I don’t even like
to be seen walking with my girlfriend it’s embarrassing.
TC: So why do you do it?
TN: Lool for sexual pleasure, you can’t mess around with boys, they can easily get you pregnant. So
with my girlfriends we don’t do actual sex just rubbing our “honeypots” kkk against each other or
using the tongue but I don’t like to be penetrated with hands.
TC: Are you not afraid of STDs?
TN: Is there a possibility that I can get them? I thought since this is not actual sex, it is safe but I
haven’t done it with many girlfriends though only four. And the other thing is that I don't like it when
a woman hits on me. I get very angry.
TC: Since you said you are a Christian I would like you to read this scripture: Rom1vs 26 “For this
reason God gave them over and abandoned them to vile affections and degrading passions. For their
women exchanged their natural function for an unnatural and abnormal one,27 And the men also
turned from natural relations with women and were set ablaze (burning out, consumed) with lust for
one another--men committing shameful acts with men and suffering in their own [d] bodies and
personalities the inevitable consequences and penalty of their wrong-doing and going astray, which
was [their] fitting retribution.”

That’s how God looks at it. If you look at the way you were created and you try to sleep with
someone of the same sex it’s kind of hard and somehow abnormal. So the bible is saying the devil
can give you thoughts to do it and make you believe the lie that it’s normal to do it. God gave you

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the gift of choice so you really can choose what you want. What you won’t be able to choose are the
results of your choice.

TN: Surprisingly I know exactly what the Bible tells us. But I cannot let these girlfriends just go, I love
them too much. But I know God is good and loving enough to help me. Homosexuality is
everywhere. Sometimes it feels completely normal and admirable. I know God tells us that
homosexuality is sinful and unnatural. Leviticus 20 v 13. Romans 1 v 18-32,1 Corinthians 6 v9-11.I
know wat God has to say about homosexuality but I find it hard to obey his word.
TC: Well if you are born again it won’t be that difficult.
TN: I don’t really think I am born again, I just go to church.
TC: Tania do you know that your blood and your mum’s is deferent but yours and your dad's is the
same?
TN: Yes I know it from biology; the blood comes from the father’s sperm but what has got this have
to do with our discussion?
TC: Intelligent girl lol, and where did your dad get his blood from?
TN: From his dad lol
TC: Yah he got it from his dad, and his dad from his dad-the circle goes on until we get to Adam (the
first man). When God created Adam he was perfect and was supposed to live forever but then he
sinned and his nature became corrupted. Through the process of biological conception he passed on
his sinful nature to all man so everybody became a sinner not because of doing anything wrong but
because the sin was part of their nature.

So no matter how nice or good a man tries to be -he can only be a sinner who does nice things , he
inherently has a sinful nature and hence cannot do anything about it on his own, being aware of
that, God so loved us and then sent his only begotten son. Now as you know, Jesus did not have an
actual biological father-so unlike everybody else he did not get his blood from a human biological
sperm-his was Divine no wonder he did not come in as a sinner like everybody else.

He lived a sinless life and yet died the death of a sinner because he was taking our place-he even
went to hell, the place we were supposed to go as payment for our sins and it was in hell that he
defeated Satan and God raised him up on the third day. Now to be born again is to believe that Jesus
died on the cross in your place for your sins and that he was raised from the dead with a new life
then invite him into your life through a confession/declaration-and as you do that, your human
biological life received from a human biological sperm will be supplanted with the life and nature of
God ( eternal life) making you a genuine child of God...do you get it know?

TN: Yes I do
TC: Rom 10vs9-10 “that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that
God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes unto
righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. That’s e scripture that
supports it there.
TN: This is so inspiring and different from all I have heard about being born again. Is it really that
easy to be born again?
TC: Well it is...trying to work for your salvation won’t work, if it could then Jesus wouldn’t have
come. If you read about the conversion of Paul then you will understand what being born again
means. At one moment he was a murderer killing Christians and the other he was an apostle
preaching Jesus totally transformed. Salvation is a gift and it takes faith to receive it. So do you want
to be born again Tany?

TN: Yes I do, right now my eyes are full of tears, and to think that God loves me in spite of all the
wrong I have done is so overwhelming.

9|Page
TC: His love is so unconditional, you can go ahead and make the following prayer audibly in your
room, and making sure you understand and believe the words: “O Lord God, I come to you in the
Name of Jesus Christ. Your Word says, "...whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be
saved" (Acts 2:21).I ask Jesus to come into my heart to be the Lord of my life. I receive eternal life
into my spirit and according to Romans 10:9, "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord
Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised Him from the dead, thou shalt be saved,"
I declare that I am saved; I am born-again; I am a child of God! I now have Christ dwelling in me, and
greater is He that is in me than he that is in the world! (1 John4:4).

I now walk in the consciousness of my new life in Christ Jesus.”

TN: I’m done and I am feeling like a brand new person now, thanks so much, you are God sent Taffie
TC: Woooooooow so happy for you, receiving Christ as your saviour is the best decision one could
ever make in this world. For sure you are now a brand new person that’s what the bible says. 2
Corinthians 5vs17 “Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation
(a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away.
Behold, the fresh and new has come”

Chapter 4:Session continues

@ Evening Mr Tafadzwa, I missed you lots.
# Hi, Miss Jane Richards, what’s up with calling me Mr today? Lol
@ You deserve the respect lol. So I sent Joe that message informing him that I am no longer
interested in romance and since then he has been giving me silent treatment. I feel I did the right
thing but to be honest I am now missing him badly already. Anywhere I want to ask something
before we start our session today
# Sorry about that Jane, I can assure you that you will not regret the decision you have made. Ask
away
@ Can you lose your virginity through overstretching your legs, I ask because I am a cheer leader at
school and I am concerned that some of our moves could affect my virginity.
# Well it depends with what you call virginity, there is a thin layer that covers the vagina and they
say that if it is not broken it means that a person is a virgin and if it is broken then it means she has
been penetrated before. It’s a myth though because according to experts there are many other
reasons why it can get broken but really that’s not important-all you really need to do to keep your
virginity is to abstain from sex.
@ I am not getting this, I don’t think there is any hymen on my vagina, am I normal
# Lol, I am sure you do not know what a vagina is, girls your age are encouraged to do a vulva self-
exam. Ever head of that?
@No what’s vulva?
# Lool, that thing you like to call vagina, well the self-exam is done by taking a mirror and examining
the different parts of the vulva, you could identify about four of them, then you can check for the
names on the internet. In developed nations they actually go to the gyna for that. That way you will
get to know yourself better ,how you look when healthy and when you not
@Kkkk, that’s not ‘sexy’ enough I can’t call my vagina vulva, and the whole self-exam thing is just so
gross, it feels so wrong. I don’t think I will ever do it.
# Lol, I understand. Now let’s finish up that dating thing. I would like you to read this and tell me
what you think;

My sex constitution
I believe sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed by a husband and a wife. I'm looking forward to
enjoying this pleasurable gift sometime in the future but for now I say no:

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 ~with my lips
~with my boobs
&with my thighs

My vagina is sacred; it is my "holy of holies" only the high priest (a guy patient enough to wait till
marriage) gets access to it. My honey moon will mark the official opening of my "legs" & there I will
hand over the keys and surrender the rights of my priced assert in its pristine condition to the "high
priest".

Sex then will be what God intended it to be, enjoying it with the man I love at will.

@ Wow I like, I think I am going to adopt this, it’s just so sweet. I think there is only one part I will
change, It’s not possible to date without kissing, that one is really hard to follow because how else
will you express love to each other?
# Okay, I won’t comment, so tell me something based on all that we have discussed what have you
learnt?
@ I have learnt many things, I learnt that my private part is called the vulva; I also learnt that it is not
advisable to date someone who is way older as they can take advantage of you. I now know that
romance is not good for now because it can easily lead to sex. I did lots of stupid things with Joe, I
think showering with him was so silly of me; he could have easily raped me or taken photos of my
naked body. I will never again go to a boyfriend’s house.
# I am impressed, you really learnt a lot and I am glad you have already started applying what you
are learning. I am sure you now understand what I meant when I said you will be able to make your
own decisions after the session.
@You were so right Taffy,you give super-helpful and truthful answers to the big questions I’ve
wondered about, but never asked. Way better than anything you’ll find through a web search. I can’t
believe how I have completely changed in these few days we have known each other.
#Few thoughts I want to share with you my lil sis,I can’t assume you already know but even if you
do, methinks it doesn’t hurt to refresh your memory. I know it may sound strange for you to hear
such things from me but let me share anywhere.

 Sleeping with a man will not make him love you any more than he already does.
 Even having his baby will not tie him to you, he can still dumb you if he chooses to.
 It sounds enough to learn "to say No to SEX" but do not assume that they know how to take
No; they just do not teach that very well in GUY SCHOOL. When it comes to romance have a
plan and a clear set of standards, were there is no plan anything can and usually happens.
Stay away from potentially tricky situations and you will do well, Jane.
 Never, ever, ever give in to the “If you really loved me you would...." trap, if they really loved
you, they wouldn’t be trying to manipulate you. It is not possible for a guy who loves you to
pressurise you into what you don’t want. The two, force &love, are like darkness&light-they
cannot live together in the same place. Soon as one comes in the other flees, the darker one
that is.
 If you ever find yourself pivoting your life around your date-having to change your clothes,
language, friends, or values in order to keep him-that’s a red light there, run away before it’s
too late
 Dating is good&worthy doing but it is not the "Be all. End all" of life. Get a life,lil sis.Find out
your unique purpose in life, develop your God given talents, pursue your dreams and make
the world a better place-Real gentleman respect such ladies. Dating is just one little chink of
the big pie and there will be plenty of time for it soon.

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  While beauty is desirable, do not let it take up much of your time, money and interest-love
yourself the way you look.
 God never said you must marry, he said marriage is an option-marriage is not the point of
living-that’s not the primary reason you were created female.
 He never said keep your hymen intact for a guy so he will not accuse you on the day of your
honeymoon, the purpose of keeping your virginity has got nothing to do with pleasing a
man-revere God more than mere man.

Hope you will find this useful someday. Bye for now.

@ Nxcaaw you know wat Taffy? No one, not even my mom or sis or aunt shares things like this with
me. I really appreciate this. Thank you brother... Friend and Aunt, I love you so much...#long hug
moments.. Lol. You are that one person I tell everything. When I'm excited I'm just like...I can’t wait
to share this with Taffy...lol .When I'm sad it’s the same thing. When I'm feeling guilty well, it takes
time but yah I still spill it out and feel much better afterwards. Good night bye

Chapter 5: Jane’s heart break

@ Hey Taffy, I have got good and bad news to share.
# what’s up ma’am?
@ Nothing much. I’m going to start with the bad news then the good news later. Today I received
the shock of my life at church; I am still finding it so hard to believe. It was announced in church that
Joe has been suspended from the Praise and worship team until further notice because he
impregnated someone-I couldn’t even wait to hear the rest of the story, I quickly rushed to the
bathroom so that I could sob freely. Taffy I have never felt this heart broken in my entire life, on my
way back I then found solace in some of the things you taught me so now I am feeling a little better.
# I’m so sorry about that Jane, you really are a strong and brave lady, a typical 15 year old would
have broken down already because of this.
@ Thanks Taffy, you made me into a strong lady, thanks to you. Boys are a bunch of trash, they are
devils in sheep skin, Joe pretended to be Mr Holy, he even lied to me that he was a virgin; I will
never trust boys again.
#Lol stop stereotyping lil sis, Joe does not represent every other guy out there. It’s not a sex thing;
there are bad boys and girls as well as good boys and girls. To be able to get a good guy you need to
be Mrs right first, part of being Ms Right is to get spiritually mature through meditating on the word
of God-that way you will be able to hear the voice of God clearly such that when selecting a date you
will be able to discern between right or wrong.

Also when you are mature you will respect your church leadership and parents and as a result you
will involve them in your dating issues, so they will help you with prayers and advice and with that
you are likely going to get a Godly date.

Always remember this Jane; your success isn't in getting a man with a car (riches), try chasing
your own dreams, getting your own car and a man you love not for his ride but for him.

@ Okay but why do they insist we date Christians only when they are some non-believers who are
very nice?
# it’s not a matter of being nice or what but you need to understand that as a Christian you have got
the life and nature of God in you (eternal life-1 John 5vs11-13), that life makes you unique and
different from the ordinary man. You have a life that is superior to diseases, failure and everything
that is of the devil, it’s that life that makes you a child of God. If you then marry, through intercourse
(I’m sure you know that it’s not just a physical but sacred and spiritual act that joins the two
involved) your Devine life will be corrupted and you will not be able to live to your best potentials

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and on top of that your children will not be sanctified since they will be born as a direct violation of
the word of God)
@ Wooooow, Pastor Taffy lol. Sex seems fun, I always wondered how and why something so natural
was off-limits, it’s now beginning to make sense, so this is why it’s wrong to just sleep around, I
honestly thought it was just a matter of fearing that we could get pregnant or STDs. But Taffy I have
a question, promise you won’t think I am mischievous or crazy.
# Ask away, loool I can’t guarantee you that though.
@ Anywhere you can do as you wish, it won’t affect me even if you laugh.
# There is no such a thing as a silly question Jane, you would rather ask and appear a fool for a
minute and to never ask and remain a fool the rest of your life.
@ Okay then, well usually during my mps I get horny, like really really horny all over my body such
that I can’t control it. Sometimes when I cross my legs it feels better but sometimes it doesn’t, so I
end up undressing and putting my pillow between my legs then roll on my bed, do you think this is
normal or evil? Please be honest with me.
@ OMG, shucks!!!! I can’t believe I have just told you one of my dark secrets, I wish I could just
disapear lool
# Ahahahaha, Ummm on that one you will have to ask mum
@ Go away, who discusses such stuffs with adults?...And Taffy is not adult enough hahahaha. You
could as well be my bae kkkk, don’t take it literally
# I think it’s normal enough. Guess it’s your body’s way of saying I am ready to make a baby,
remember the whole period thing is about facilitating pregnancy and you know how babies are
made don’t you?
@ Intercourse right? You really good at explaining staffs, but wait a minute so what can I do to feel
better, sexting and other silly stuffs are now out of the picture, I won’t do them again. I now want to
be a good girl kkk
# well the other things you could do, you will find in our previous conversations just go back to them.
The other thing you need is to pray, the Holy Spirit will help you to focus and get rid of youthful
desires, and he will also give you self-control.
@ You know,I have always found it weird to involve God in this whole dating stuff.
# Lol, those hips, boobs etc that makes you proud and even the feelings we are talking about were
all created by God, he is the one who invented intercourse otherwise nobody would have thought
about it, so any wise person would listen to and abide by the words of the originator-he knows how
you can get maximum value, don’t you think so?

The reason why many Christians end up having heart breaks is that they never sit down to learn
about dating first, they just go ahead and experiment, imagine if you were to sit for say a math exam
without ever taking a math class or studying some books, that’s the same with just going ahead and
dating without learning anything. Every great adventure starts with preparation. Dating is a great
adventure! Hence it requires research and thoughtful preparation. Do yourself a favour lil sis and
spend some quality time thinking, processing and preparing for the great adventure of dating with
the help of the Holy Spirit before you just jump into it.

@ Yikes, you got me there. Amazingly these things are so simple but I guess because conversations
around this topic ( at home and church )are usually shrouded in hushed tones and sprinkled with
phrases like, “the forbidden fruit”, “thau shall not” makes it so hard to factor God in the equation. So
Taffy does God punish us with STDs or other misfortunes when we fornicate?

# Well I wouldn’t really say he punishes us, what you need to understand is that God made you a
free moral agent, you are literally free to do as you wish. Nobody not even your dad or mum are
able to stop you from dating or indulging in sexual activities, think of it-they don’t allow you to date
but already you are talking about romance. So Jane, you are free to do anything BUT and it’s a big

13 | P a g e
BUT, you are not free from the benefits and or consequences of each choice you make so if for e.g.
you sleep around, catch an STD, become pregnant, abort and then end up in prison-all that is not
God’s punishment but results or consequences of a decision you made.

It’s like a mum warning a child against running around, then the child disobeys, runs around, falls
and breaks his arm- breaking his arm is a consequence of his decision to disobey not a punishment
from mum. You might not like what the bible says about dating but always remember that God is
omniscient and he loves us more than we love ourselves so whatever he tells us to do no matter
how uncool it may sound will be for our ultimate good.
@Hmmm awesome... If you were one of my school mates I would have massaged you by the
shoulder lol...it’s something we do to sort of applaud someone... Lol. It’s ridiculous I know. Guess
what?
# What?
@ I have just blocked Joe from my WhatsApp and deleted his number. He is now history. I have got
some homework Taffy so before I go let me tell you the good news I promised.
# Okay l’m all ears

@ I did your crazy mirror vulva-self exam item kkkk. I did the “treasure” hunt and discovered some
pinkish treasures: ok so there's the Labia/lips (inner and outer) that covers the clitoris (most
sensitive to stimulation and commonly swells when aroused), urethra (peephole), and the vagina
/birth carnal (that’s were my period flows through).Then there is the mons pubis, the part where
you shave.
# I thought you said you would never do it loool, so how are you feeling about it now?
@Kkkk, It was freaky but I just had to do it, I feel great I didn’t know it was that complex; it’s funny
that I used to think that we pee through the vagina, now I know; I think every proud owner of a
vulva should do the mirror thing looI. Now what’s left is to try using tampons. Bye
# Loool, someone is mischievous. One session left. Take care
@ Taffy one more weird and silly question, a bit shy to ask, well anywhere teen coach said no
question is silly kkkk. Taffy is it normal for girls to experience wet dreams? Crazy I know. The thing is
I read about wet dreams and I know how they happen to boys but then there were times when I
would have those “nice” erotic dreams and I would work up with some white stain-is that really
normal?
# That’s bold lil sis, guess it’s someone’s turn to get a shoulder massage lol
@Phew!!! Now I’m feeling better lol
@Well since you almost never hear about girls having wet dreams let me set the record straight.
Wet dreams are totes equal opportunity! Girls aren’t marginalised on that one lol. Puberty in girls isn’t
THAT much different than puberty in guys. Sure, we have different parts, but we’re both getting all
hormone crazy hence we have an equal chance of having wet dreams! However when a dude has a
wet dream, it’s way more obvious than when a girl has one–which could be why data says dudes
splodge in their sleep more often. If a girl wakes up with some wet in her panties, it’s easy to pretend
it’s one of those normal ones.

Many people do not experience them though (including guys) I for one never had them as a teen.
They don’t just happen on their own though, you somehow trigger them sometimes unconsciously
# But mine happened on their own, how could I have triggered them?
@ Its simple-your mind regulates most of the activities that go on in your body remember. So yah-
what you watch, read, think about most of the time etc
# Pssssssshhhhh, Taffy you got me on that one, yah there was a time I would kiss my bae’s half nude
photo on my phone in bed and begin imagining stuffs. That was so freeing Taffy, it’s not as awkward
when you no that you are not alone in the boat, at least some girls have experienced it too.Thanks,bye

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Chapter 6:Mitsidzo decides to come back to coach Tafa

M:Hey Faffie, long time

TC: Long time indeed, how have you been? How is school, family and dating?
M: All good Faffie, thanks. How are things your side?
TC: Super awesome, thanks
M: Well, dating ant good, I actually want to talk to you about it. Something happened
TC: What happened?
M: Sex happened, I am sorry I did not listen to your advice.
TC: No need to be sorry hey, let’s focus on the future now so tell me what happened
M: I told you that I am HIV positive right? I want to tell you something more that I didn’t tell you but
please don’t tell anyone
TC: Yah I remember you telling me that.
M: My parents divorced some time ago, so I stay with my mum and step dad. My dad that I told you
about is actually my step-dad. When my real dad chased away mum from home I remained with him
so I began staying with him and his girlfriend.
TC: I’m listening.
M: One day my step mum was away and dad followed me into my room from the bath room. I only
had a towel rapped around my body and then he ordered me to it hand over the towel to him and
when I refused he took it by force. He proceeded to rape me and I bleed heavily Faffie, afterwards
he ordered me to mop my blood and threatened me with death if I told anyone. I was so hurt both
physical and emotionally and couldn’t even walk properly.
TC: I am so sorry Mistidzo, I admire your courage-the way you are so hopeful doesn’t even show that
you have such a past. I hope pouring out to someone is helping you feel better
M: Thanks Tafadzwa, you always see my positive side. I just really needed someone to talk to and I
thank God I have you. Nobody else knows about this expect for my best friend Rumbie. So because
of that I then decided to run away from home and look for mum and my dad never bothered to look
for me. Fortunately, my mum’s boyfriend who is now my step dad welcomed me into their house as
his own daughter. I never told them the real reason why I had run away though.
TC: So how do you feel about your real dad now?
M: As a Christian I know that I am supposed to forgive but to be honest Tafadzwa, I don’t think I will
ever be able to let go. Anywhere what I want to tell you is actually about me and Bradley, you still
remember him?
TC: Bradley (the gaffer) how could I forget my in-law lool
M: You really pay attention to detail Faffie, you still remember the gaffer thing? Anywhere so I went
to Brad’s house for a sleep over and we did everything, I just thought I had nothing to lose since I am
already HIV positive and I am no longer a virgin. Afterwards I felt like a whore, I felt so dirty before
God and to make matters worse a month later I discovered I was pregnant…

TC: Ouukay you can go on, I’m listening.

M: I know this will shock you but let me just spill out. Brad suggested that I abort and I agreed-I
guess I was confused and too afraid to tell mum about it. The abortion went successful (I won’t give
details about how it was done though).It’s been 6 months now but I can’t forget it, the thing keeps
haunting me. To make matters worse Brad has been demanding sex almost every week, he keeps
telling me that if I refuse he will tell my mum everything. I don’t enjoy the whole thing at all, I just do
it as an obligation, Of course we use protection but still I’m being exposed to lots of other STD’s. I
couldn’t keep it in that’s why I decided to come to you. Does God forgive those who wilfully sin?

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TC: Well you did not wilfully sin Mimie, the fact that you are feeling guilty is proof that the Holy Spirit
is still in you, he is showing you your wrong so that you can have an opportunity to repend. Do you
remember the story of the prodigal son?
M; Yes I do
TC: Well in that story the son made some careless decisions which he later regretted, afterwards he
felt so guilty and concluded the father would never accept him again ( just like you are feeling right
now) . When he got back to his father’s house, the father did not even give him time to explain
himself-neither did he punish him but he embraced him and welcomed him back. That’s a perfect
representation of God’s love towards us, when we go astray he patiently waits for our return and
never counts our sins against us.

Jesus is the most sublime and loving personality I know, when you ask for forgiveness he will simply
say, “It’s okay”. He is saying to you right now, “come back my daughter and I will clean you up”. 1
John 1vs 9 “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from
all unrighteousness”

M: Faffie, I just need some space can we talk tomorrow. Bye

Chapter 7: Mistidzo’s turn-around

TC: Afternoon Mimie

M: Hey Faffie
TC: I received a call from Mrs Sithole; she wanted to book you for sessions here.
M: Awwww sweeeet, that’s mum, yah I gave her your number. I have got a very big testimony to
share with you. So, that day we last spoke I spent some time meditating on what you had said and I
felt like God was directly talking to me. I started praying and before long I was speaking in tongues (I
had last done that months ago), I prayed and prayed till 3am, can you imagine? I felt like a huge
burden had been taken away from me and I felt this indescribable peace in my heart. I had this urge
to forgive dad so I quickly sent a message to him, fortunately I still had his number. When I texted
him I felt so overjoyed-he hasn’t replied up to now though.

The following day I prayed again and felt that the Holy Spirit was saying that I should tell mum
everything that has happened. I told her everything Taffy, including the rape thing, she cried
profusely and as she did she actually apologised for not having been there for me. To cut the long
story short, Brad is now history-my step dad dealt with him. Dad suggested that mum get some
counsellors for me to help me get over the past that’s when I told them that I would rather work
with you, then mumy called you….I really can’t wait to see the figure behind this God sent so loving
bro I love talking to on app.

TC: I knew this was going to have a happy ending, words alone can’t express how happy I am feeling
now. Come and get a hug ahahaha. So what’s next?

M: Lool, coming.I don’t know, what do you think?

TC: Go ahead and start that organisation you have always wanted to, you are a good speaker-you
could start by sharing your story, lots of girls going through what you went through would be greatly
inspired.
M: I will surely repay you for all this one day

Chapter 8: Jane’s last session

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@ I’m so sad, today is our last session; I wish we could go on and on and on
# All good things come to an end hey, so ready for the last one?
@ After all you have taught me, I promise I will not disappoint you. Yep I’m ready
# Today we will talk about vertical/horizontal relationships. Vertical relationships are those ones you
have with people who are mature and senior to you e.g. parents, teachers, pastors, coaches etc.
Horizontal ones are those you have with the people you are at the same level with e.g. friends,
school mates
@ Awwwwww sweet, so you are my vertical relationship, wooow.
#: Now as a teen you will realise that in most cases you find it easy to discuss with your horizontal
relationships when it comes to important issues like dating, sex etc. Can you relate to that?
@: It’s not like I don’t want to talk to adults about my issues but their attitude sucks sometimes, the
other day we were at a wedding then I started telling my older sister what I would like for my
wedding then the whole thing got turned into a lecture about how it is wrong to start dating at my
age. That is the reason why I prefer talking to my friends, at least they understand me.
#I know that feeling, I had similar experiences with my older siblings too. Now one fact about
horizontal relationships is that these people are just as young and inexperienced about life as you
are-yes they might understand you because of your common experiences but when it comes to
giving advice...they might not be the best go-to-persons.....three things are normally common in
these horizontal relationships
@ I would love to hear about them.
#: #1 Jealousy: If you tell your friend about how you are enjoying your relationship with this guy she
might just get jealous because on her side things might not be working well or worse still she might
even be crushing on your guy so whatever advise she will give might not be from a genuine heart.
She might advise you to sleep with him just so you can get into trouble and she gets satisfied.

At your age you might be thinking that you friends and school mates are very important in your life
but soon after school most of them will disappear and you will have to live your life on your own-so
imagine if you had made regrettable decisions just to fit in or to please them, and yet now they will
be all gone.

@ I once had a crush on my friend’s dude loool, but I didn’t tell anyone. You can go on
#: #2 Laughter: You might tell your friends that your guy asked for your nude photos but you
refused. And your friends might even laugh at you saying that you are not proud of your body so you
chickened out . #3 Criticism: Your guy might ask you to visit his home and you tell your friends that
you can't go because your parents don't allow you and they might criticise you for being Ms holy.
Those three combine to make up what’s called peer pressure...of course not all friends are bad but
those characteristics are common in many horizontal relationships

# Our Pastor who happens to be my dad too always talked about the importance of choosing good
friends and I thought my friends where good, only realising now that I need to “eliminate” certain
people from my friends-list. That nude photo I told you about, it was actually my friend who took
that photo whilst I posed nude, she then advised me to edit it and cut the face and leave the lower
part, I also wouldn’t have never agreed to take a shower with Joe if my friends hadn’t told me that, it
was a good way to create a bond with your “retard”.

Thank you so much Taffy, I am really learning a lot. You can go on

#: My pleasure. So when it comes to important issues, I strongly advise that you discuss with your
vertical relationships because these are people who have experience as well as your best interests at
heart. The first port of call will be your parents and the first thing you could do is to seek first to
understand them before you seek to be understood so listen to them keenly and curiously and make
sure you get their expectations of you very well.

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When they feel you listen to them and you understand their expectations, it will be easy to talk to
them and influence them to accept your opinions.

@ Do you know that I never really spend time talking to my parents unless I want something? But I
now promise to change Taffy
#My time is up, I got to prepare for my next session.
@ You know what Taffy? I think you should write a book
# Brilliant idea. I think I will just take our conversations; guess there is a lot to learn from your
experiences.I’m sure other teens will find the book helpful.
@ No way, people will get to know about my little secrets. At church I am Miss Holy, nobody knows
that I am human too and I also got sexual feelings, they think I am made of steel lool..
# Which of the two titles do you prefer, “Getting ready for Prince charming” or “My dating app”
@ I like them both, they are dope but ummmmm I think I prefer “My dating app” you know this will
be like a super-cool app where you can get all info about dudes and stuff

Conclusion

Please feel free to send your feedback and or questions to me, you can call or send whatsapp
messages.

Hearty thanks to all my coachees ( you know yourselves),thank you for trusting me, it was through
your honesty and openness to me that I managed to gain so much information about what goes
around in teen world. As a result I am now able to help many other teenagers better.

Tafadzwa ( +263773606728)

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