Train Your Children God's Way (David C. Pack)

TRAIN YOUR
CHILDREN
GOD’S WAY
by David C. Pack
Herbert W. Armstrong led the Worldwide Church of God (formerly
The Radio Church of God until 1968) until his death in 1986. Hundreds
of millions heard his voice and read his literature. God called him in
the fall of 1926 and he was converted in the spring of 1927. Over the
course of Mr. Armstrong’s ministry, God revealed through him a great
many true biblical doctrines, which had been lost to the Church through
the centuries. After his death, his successors ceased to believe and
teach these doctrines. Although copyright law prohibits The Restored
Church of God from reproducing and distributing literature produced
while he led the Worldwide Church of God, we are committed to the
preservation and teaching of all of these truths!
THIS BOOK IS PROVIDED FREE OF CHARGE AND IN THE

PUBLIC INTEREST BY THE RESTORED CHURCH OF GOD.
It is made possible by the voluntary, freely given tithes and offerings of the
members of the Church and others who have elected to support the work of
the Church. Contributions are welcomed and gratefully accepted. Those who
wish to voluntarily aid and support this Work of God around the world are
gladly welcomed as co-workers in this major effort to preach the gospel to
all nations.
Copyright © 2008, 2019 The Restored Church of God®

All Rights Reserved.
Printed in the United States of America
The family unit is under assault from an ever
increasing array of forces, with children
enduring the brunt of the attack. Parents are
now facing almost impossible odds against
successfully rearing their children!
Yet, God commands parents to “Train up a
child in the way he should go: and when he is
old, he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).
But how can parents—one alone or two
working together—do this? What chance do
they have of rearing balanced, moral children
in today’s wild, immoral world? What should
children be taught? How should they be
instructed? And can you be sure that what
you teach your children will stay with them
for life?
God’s Word addresses these and many
other questions—and the answers are not
what you expect!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction ......................................................................... 7
chapter one –
Facing the Challenge ......................................................... 11
chapter two –
“Strange Generation” ........................................................ 23
chapter three –
The Biblical Doctrine of Childrearing .............................. 35
chapter four–
Where Teaching the Basics Begins ................................... 51
chapter five–
Teaching About
All-important Character .................................................... 91
chapter six–
Teaching About God,
His Word and Christianity .............................................. 109
chapter seven –
Building Relationships .................................................... 127
chapter eight –
The Big Picture ............................................................... 141
Introduction 7
Introduction
T here is not another book about childrearing like Train Your

Children God’s Way. In fact, there has never been a volume about
childrearing like this one. It is absolutely unique among all others on
the subject. This vital book contains sorely needed information—
revealed knowledge, straight from the plain Word of God!
Modern bookstores in almost every city contain a wide variety of
books teaching a host of men’s ideas about how to rear children. While
often containing interesting facts and quotes, and perhaps some few
helpful minor points, none of these competing, disagreeing and largely
confusing books, which are usually written as though they are trying to
impress intellectuals, have succeeded in bringing the answers that the
parents of today long for—and desperately need!
Millions of families today are in almost complete despair.
Ignorance of the most basic spiritual knowledge has brought about
a near holocaust of a whole generation, now almost entirely lost to
misguided thinking and false values. The terrible fruits of modern
families are visible and obvious, but no one knows what to do about
it. No one knows where to turn for the answers that countless mil-
lions of parents are seeking. The world has not known that there is an
Instruction Book containing all the vital information necessary to
rear children the right way.
More and more thinking people recognize that civilization is out of
control. New problems of every kind are appearing, with older ones
growing worse seemingly every day. The current generation of leaders
8 TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN GOD’S WAY
has utterly failed in its responsibility to improve the world—to make
it better for the next generation. Government leaders have failed to
lead the world out of problems. Business leaders have not been able
to stabilize the world’s economy. Generals have failed to bring peace
through military intervention. Scientists have failed to rid the world
of food shortages, pollution and problems such as extreme weather.
Doctors and medical science have been unable to check the spread of
deadly viruses and bacteria, and the diseases and other plagues that
come from them. Religious leaders and philosophers have utterly
failed in bringing happiness, fulfillment and true purpose to the lives
of billions.
All are looking to the next generation to bring final solutions to the
world’s greatest problems!
Yet, if the present picture looks bad, then the future looks much,
much worse! The world’s most important resource—and the backbone
of every society and nation on Earth today—are its children. But
today’s generation of young people is in big—HUGE!—trouble. The
condition of the present generation of youth is so bad, with problems
so severe, that anyone with eyes to see does not, and could never,
doubt this! But this is because parents have failed in their God-given
responsibility to give their children the right foundation necessary
to produce lives full of achievement, productivity and true success.
They have not met the challenge! Again, no one has taught these par-
ents—no one has equipped them for their responsibility.
Consider this from the perspective of how the world looks ahead
to those it is counting on to produce the leaders they suppose—and
anticipate—will be tomorrow’s “problem solvers”:
From today’s young people will come the university professors,
schoolteachers and childcare professionals of tomorrow. They will
also produce the scientists, inventors and explorers of the next age.
And from today’s younger generation will also come the economists,
financiers, business entrepreneurs and chief executive officers of the
vast numbers of small businesses, larger companies and multi-national
corporations in tomorrow’s economy. The next generation of govern-
ment leaders, senior military officers and members of futuristic “think
tanks” will also come from those who are in school today. So will the
philosophers, writers and journalists. And then there are the future doc-
tors, psychologists and other professionals who will also arise from the
modern generation. In addition, will come the lawyers, judges and law
enforcement officials to deal with the worsening societal breakdown
occurring today. Most important, the religious leaders of tomorrow will
come from the children of today, and it is desperately hoped that these
Introduction 9
will soon bring leadership that their predecessors have failed to bring
for the last 6,000 years!
Of course, all of this first supposes there will even be a tomorrow
for the world, and there will also be an existing generation to produce
sufficiently qualified leaders to guide civilization closer to the final
utopia every generation and all nations have sought.
The evidence is not good that either of these things will happen.
The nations of the world possess a vast sum of knowledge, and it
increases every day, but they are ignorant of the right kind of knowl-
edge—spiritually revealed knowledge. This is because the mod-
ern system of education is morally and spiritually bankrupt! Deluded
educators have been biased against God and His Word by having had
the atheistic teaching of evolution poured into them from childhood.
They have taught young people for decades (and these have become
today’s parents and grandparents) that there are “no absolutes” and
that they must follow “situation ethics” in all circumstances. They
have led the world into a kind of secular humanism—where people
are driven by how they feel rather than clear definitions of right and
wrong! But there is right and wrong in life—and the educators who
are teaching the children of this world have cut themselves off from
this knowledge (Isa. 59:1-2). They cannot teach what they were never
taught. And neither can parents who have been indoctrinated in their
thinking!
Also, this world’s religions have kept parents and young people
steeped in traditional pagan philosophies and teachings that have
deceived the world for millennia. All the world’s religions have
ignored the great spiritual principle of cause and effect that governs
every aspect of life. They have all neglected to teach true spiri-
tual values—that there is an inspired, vital Instruction Book from
Almighty God that contains special knowledge. It explains there is
a great spiritual law that, when obeyed, brings all the good things
every human being seeks. Confused by the conflicting influence of
blinded religious leaders and deceived educators, parents have utterly
failed in their greatest responsibility, which should have been to teach
their children how to live, and to instill in their young minds the mar-
velous truths of God’s Word and the supreme purpose for which they
were born! Again, they have failed to meet the challenge!
This book strips away the confusion, division, competing tradi-
tions and ignorance that have shrouded the truth about childrearing
God’s Way. May God help you to understand what you are about to
read so you can teach your children to understand what has not been
available in one book until now!
Chapter One 11
Facing the Challenge
I t has been said that children represent a parent’s greatest steward-

ship. We could ask: What else even comes close?
Think of all that is at stake in how parents rear just one child.
This little human being can either be armed with how to succeed
in life, or literally programmed to fail—left defenseless against the
many problems that life will throw at him! Further, the child’s chil-
dren—the parents’ own grandchildren—will be directly affected by
the principles of childrearing (good or bad), which could then in turn
continue to be at least partially employed, potentially for generations
to come. Then there is the effect the child will have on all the other
people with whom he comes in contact throughout the balance of
his life. And what about the very real peace and happiness—or lack
thereof!—that the child brings to his parents as another direct result of
how well they did their job? All these things are measured in very real
terms, and carry implications almost too numerous and far-reaching
to comprehend.
Your task is to recognize what all of this means to you as a parent,
which must translate into action—what you must do!
The Greatest Challenge
Take a moment to consider the world around you. Reflect on all the
different kinds of influences—with seemingly more every day—to
which a child is exposed. Rearing children in today’s violent, morally
permissive, confusing, “anything goes” world is perhaps the most try-
ing, difficult thing that adults could do.
The situation could be likened to a ship entering what has been
called “the perfect storm.” The force of the wind and the size of the
waves beating on the “parental ships” of today mean that parents are
working seemingly against all odds, and without a compass, maps,
a working rudder, or an engine to power their ship—assuming they
even knew where to steer it. However, in reality, the greatest “perfect
storm” is that which their children are suffering. If it could be said
that parents are experiencing 30-foot waves and gale force winds in
the open ocean, at least they are on a ship. By analogy, their children
are experiencing the same conditions, but in a small, leaking row boat,
without oars or even a can with which to bail!
This leads back to the role of parents, the purpose and focus of
this book.
For instance, fathers and mothers today must counteract a host
of powerful pulls coming from Hollywood, Madison Avenue and
social media, all of which glamorize rebellious attitudes and self-
centeredness. Then they must contend with a strange, perverse
generation of young people who are different from all previous
generations, and who have their children surrounded. Youth and
teenagers of today have a whole variety of new subcultures, values
and thinking—many of which would shock all but the most liberal,
open-minded parents!
Consider the following quote from The Daily Telegraph, a British
newspaper, in an article titled, “Keep out: TV, DVD and computers
rule.” It plainly reveals the effect of technology on parenting today:
“Technology is destroying traditional family life as young adolescents
increasingly spend more time in their bedrooms playing computer
games, surfing the Internet or watching television, videos and DVDs,
a study released today claims. Whereas the living room used to be
the hub of the home, now more and more 11- to 14-year-olds prefer
to be alone in their technology-filled bedrooms, communicating with
friends via mobile phone texting or e-mail.” (This article goes on to
state that 75 percent of children ages 11 to 14 have a television in their
room, 64 percent have a DVD player or VCR, and one-fourth have a
computer in their room.)
Hopeless Generation
So many children and teenagers today have become hopeless, with

no hint, inkling or clue of why they are alive, and whether there is a
Facing the Challenge 13
purpose for human existence. Just observing their faces in a crowd
reveals this much. They can see world conditions grow ever worse,
with the news of each day seemingly worse than the day before, and
the problems each day becoming worse and greater in number than
the day before.
The result of all this is that the vast majority of children and teen-
agers today simply tune out the cacophony of confusion and empti-
ness of religion, the division and ineffectiveness of government, the
evils and troubles plaguing schools and education, the complex eco-
nomic forces at work in the modern world and the breakdown of the
family, which increasingly often includes their own. This leads them
to select from—more like back into—a variety of different means of
escape: drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, endless parties, and mindless,
gratuitous entertainment, among others, to occupy themselves. In
turn, these pursuits lead to a whole host of problems which are over-
whelming society—and parents.
Your children will be—and maybe already are—tempted to turn
off, give up and drop out if you are not unceasingly vigilant in your
responsibility to keep them in the belief that they can have a future,
and that it can be wonderful beyond belief, if they are carefully build-
ing it step by step under your guidance! You, as parents, are charged
with giving—infusing!—hope, and helping your children to retain it,
when virtually no one around you will be helping.
This means that your task will not be easy!
To produce a happy, moral, emotionally mature and productive
adult—including a strong relationship with the true God—parents
must swim against a swirling ocean of powerful currents represented
by the trends, pulls and overwhelming pressures of the modern age.
In addition, great numbers of parents are working alone instead of
together toward their children’s well-being. Many of them must
openly combat the efforts of the other parent, who is working directly
against the first parent’s view of the well-being of the children.
Tragically, the vast majority of parents are simply drowning under
the strain—and the net effect is that their children are drowning with
them.
When it comes to childrearing, parents often do not know what to
do—or when to do it. Do you? To achieve success in their most impor-
tant stewardship, parents must be fully equipped—and this means
thoroughly armed!—with all the necessary knowledge to reach their
goal. All other paths will leave them bewildered, confused and over-
whelmed, having no hope to even effectively communicate with their
children, let alone to actually guide them properly!
Of course, and this is most tragic, some parents simply do not care
what happens to their children—who may not have even been planned
for or wanted in the first place.
But either of the above two scenarios—interested but ignorant
or cavalier and uncaring—need not be you. Perhaps this book can
inspire you to see your role as a parent for the exciting, thrilling and
ultimately rewarding experience that it can be—if you are properly
prepared for what lies ahead!
Instant Gratification
Consider the typical television sitcom: Strong family values, once

promoted in the past, have been corrupted into the dysfunctional
family values of today. And almost every form of entertainment now
reflects this.
Let’s take a closer look at Hollywood films: Many glamorize
sexual immorality, with movie characters usually portrayed as
changing sex partners more often than they change their clothes.
Hollywood producers manipulate audiences into rooting for the
rebels, anti-heroes and action characters who thumb their noses
at every form of authority. The movie industry also promotes
an extreme emphasis on physical beauty and appearance. Also,
defenseless against the daily bombardment by ads in most teen
magazines—with those much younger also reading them in large
numbers—up to 63 percent of girls just 7 to 10 years old now go
to school wearing make-up and expensive perfumes. This statement
alone reflects a sad and worsening picture of childhoods lost! But
it gets worse. By age 14, 90 percent of girls are wearing some type
of lipstick, mascara or eyeliner. This, in turn, leads to earlier and
earlier sexual activity.
Now consider the Internet: With a few clicks of a button, your
child can access web pages that promote every twisted, immoral and
perverse idea that men can devise. Photographs of absolutely appall-
ing images are only seconds away from your child’s mental consump-
tion. And parents seemingly can do little to stop this.
Virtually all societies on Earth are now exposed to the age of
instant gratification, through mass media and CDs: television, radio,
music, movies, video games, music videos and magazines. All of
these deceive children into believing that they are the center of the
universe. Children are constantly bombarded with messages of self-
ishness, greed, deceit and “me first” attitudes. These messages are
“boxed, wrapped and marketed” to target an unsuspecting genera-
tion in packages of vanity, illicit sex, hatred, physical aggression and
rebellion against authority.
Television has spoon-fed this destructive, awful diet to children
for so long that the majority no longer know how to think, reason or
solve problems with their minds. Instead, the television culture has
taught them to solve problems through violence and force, coupled
with deceit in every form.
Tragically, an even worse condition afflicts young people of the
modern age. Many have grown up not even having been taught to
think, let alone talk, about anything of depth. Obviously, this is
because most people no longer read very much, including any of the
important parts of a newspaper—let alone a wide variety of books or
news magazines. Children no longer read beyond what is required by
their schools, and this is usually little more than the basics. To read,
one must move his eyes back and forth across the page. And he must
think about the words he is seeing and what they describe. Incredibly,
experts report that this has become too much effort for a generation
that has been programmed to stare at a TV screen. Television does not
require thinking—or effort.
There is also evidence suggesting that early exposure to television
can perhaps “rewire” a child’s developing brain patterns, changing the
child’s thinking for the rest of its life. With commercials interrupting
programming approximately every seven minutes, it has been dem-
onstrated to produce a seven-minute attention span in children. This
seems to be confirmed in the experiences of a professional storyteller,
Odds Bodkin, who reads mostly to children. He observed that children
began to be restless after about seven minutes, in anticipation of a
commercial break. This new phenomenon has been labeled “Attention
Deficit Disorder.”
An article titled “Toddler TV Time May Shorten Attention” points
to a link between time spent watching TV and attention problems in
children. It states, “Experts know too much TV is bad for older kids,
but it may also harm the attention spans of children as young as 1 year
old, a new study suggests” (HealthDay Reporter).
Another study, by author Dr. Dimitri Christakis of the University
of Washington, Seattle, states, “We found that watching television
before the age of 3 increases the chances that children will develop
attentional problems at age 7.”
The researchers also found the following: “…for each additional
daily hour of television that young children watched on average,
the risk of subsequently having attentional problems [by age 7] was
increased by almost 10 [times].” (This is a classic example of the
unseen law of cause and effect in action. But because parents are not
looking for it—and this is because no one is telling them that they
should—the result is a whole generation of young children with little
or no stick-to-it-ive-ness. We will learn more about this generation in
the next chapter.)
But let’s continue: This means that 1- to 3-year-olds who
watched eight hours of television a day “would have an 80% higher
risk of attentional problems compared to a child who watched zero
hours.” One well-known expert has stated that children should
avoid all contact with television and video games prior to the age
of three.
The book, Zero to Six: Electronic Media in the Lives of Infants,
Toddlers and Preschoolers, published by the Kaiser Family Foundation,
provides a look into the use of media among the very young and their
parents. Some of its findings include:
• 83% of children use screen media, whether TV, movies or video
games.
• 77% turn the television on by themselves.
• 67% request a particular program or are able to surf channels using
a remote.
• 65% live in homes in which the TV is on half the time or more.
• 36% live in homes in which the TV is always on (considered a
“heavy” TV household).
• In “heavy” TV households, 77% of children watch it every day.
• Such children are also less likely to read (59% vs. 68%).
• They are also less likely to be able to read at all (34% of children
ages 4 to 6 from heavy TV households can read, compared to 56%
of others the same age).
• The majority of parents (59%) say their 4- to 6-year-old boys imi-
tate aggressive behavior seen on TV.
• And perhaps the most astonishing statistic in this entire book is
that 26% of children under 2 have a TV in their bedroom.
What has been the result of all this? Many young people have
never visited a library or ever personally owned a book. (Most of
these have little concept of the wonderful world of books.) Virtually
their entire perspective on life is limited to what flashes across the
TV screen. And what they constantly see is violence, corruption and
widespread immorality.
This also means that parents are up against a vast array of prob-
lems built into their children by a very early age, ensuring that
parents have a long, difficult uphill battle in being able to overcome
these things.
More Astonishing Statistics
Consider these alarming statistics, and all of the anguish and suffering
that they represent:
• In 1990, 24% of U.S. families were single-parent households. By
1999, it had risen to 27%.
• In 1999, 68% of U.S. children lived in two-parent homes, down
from 77% in 1980.
• From July 1, 1998 to June 30, 1999, there were 47 violent deaths
in U.S. schools.
• From 1992 to 1999, students were more likely to be victims of
theft at school than anywhere else.
• The U.S. has the highest number of teen pregnancies of any indus-
trialized nation—one million annually among girls ages 15 to 19.
The United Kingdom is the next highest, with about half a million
pregnancies annually. But this number actually represents a rate
that is much higher, since the U.K. is only about one-fifth the size
of the United States.
• Of Americans who have been infected with sexually transmitted
diseases (STDs) annually, more than three million (or about 25%)
are teenagers.
• Each year, about 25% of all new HIV cases occur in people ages
13 to 21.
The following statistics are from “Heartland Village, Youth
Statistics” unless otherwise noted:
• Every night, 40% of children in America go to bed in a home with-
out a father.
• 66% of children believe that absolute truth cannot be known.
• 10% of adolescent boys and 18% of adolescent girls have made
some attempt to take their own life.
• A new study proclaims that teens who spend most of their free time
ingesting movies, television and music see pop culture as a valid
form of creativity. A study found that 87% of teens rated “directing
a movie,” “being a rocket scientist” and “being a good teacher” as
equally important pursuits.
• Although teens aged 13 to 17 make up only 7% of the American
population, they make up 31% of the shoplifting population.
• A third of American teens say they can get free condoms on a regu-
lar basis. Here is the revealing breakdown of percentages describ-
ing where they are able to do this:
 Clinic—40%
 Friend—16%
 School—14%
 Store giveaway—6%
 Doctor—6%
 Parent/relative—4%
 Concerts—2%
• The following is a picture of how American children view homo-
sexuality:
 82% say that homosexuals can and should be hired for any
occupation.
 80% think that same-sex partners should receive the same
employment benefits as married people.
 73% say that homosexuals should be permitted to enter the
military.
 64% think that homosexuals should be permitted to adopt
children.
 61% agree that homosexuals should be permitted to get
married.
 69% know that intimate contact with a homosexual causes
AIDS.
• American teens quizzed with questions that mixed pop culture and
constitutional issues provided the following answers:
 Less than 2% of teens recognized James Madison as the
father of the Constitution, while 58% know Bill Gates as
the father of Microsoft.
 Nearly 95% know Will Smith played the role of the “Fresh
Prince of Bel Air,” but only 2% know William Rehnquist
was Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court.
 More than 75% know that Beverly Hills’ zip code is 90210,
but only 25% know that the Constitution was written in
Philadelphia.
 41% can name the three branches of government, while
59% can name the Three Stooges, who were popular on
television half a century ago.
 74% know that Bart Simpson lives in Springfield, but only
12% know that U.S. President Abraham Lincoln was from
Springfield, Illinois.
• It costs society $39,000 per year to keep a youth in a correctional
center.
• The average child witnesses 8,000 murders and 100,000 other
acts of violence on television by the time he finishes elementary
school.
• Every day…
 13 young people commit suicide
 16 are murdered
 1,000 become mothers
 2,200 drop out of school
 500 begin using drugs
 1,000 begin drinking alcohol
 3,500 are assaulted
 630 are robbed
 80 are raped
• 1.1 million teens become pregnant each year, representing 11% of
all 15- to 19-year-olds.
• Almost half of all teen pregnancies (449,000) end in abortion.
• One in every three teenagers has used an illicit drug within the
past 30 days. (This statistic alone represents a mindboggling state
of affairs.)
• Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college stu-
dents.
• American girls, on average, begin having sexual intercourse at age
16, boys at 15. By the time of high school graduation, 70% of girls
and 80% of boys have been sexually active (U.S. News and World
Report, December 22, 1986, p. 8).
• 50% of today’s sexually active males had their first sexual experi-
ence between the ages of 11 and 13 (Robert Coles and Geoffrey
Stokes, Sex and the American Teenager, 1985).
• By age 13, boys who have never had any form of sex are in the
minority. Similarly, girls are in the minority by age 15.
Subcultures All Their Own
Modern teenagers have developed their own entirely unique subcul-

tures and their own set of standards. This includes body piercing, tat-
toos, drug abuse, seemingly endless wild parties, and other aberrant
behaviors too numerous to list here.
Reflecting a somewhat new pattern of conduct, already vast and
growing numbers of teenagers now spend an enormous amount of
time attending “poker parties.” Much of this is done under the “help-
ful supervision” of many parents who are just happy to see their chil-
dren safe at home where they can keep an eye on them. This trend also
includes children as young as ten! Of course, a now large number of
television programs promote poker, and this has created an explosion
of products available for sale to teach poker to young children. Then
there is the problem that teenagers and younger children are also being
led into other forms of gambling. Since gambling is addictive, all the
related problems seen in addicted adult gamblers are being seen at
this earlier age.
But poker parties are only the beginning of the “party” problem
with today’s youth culture. Understand. These are not the parties of
either yours or previous generations. These are truly wild parties,
including “raves,” which can have thousands of young people at each
party (sometimes held in warehouses, remote beaches, and other such
places, where drugs can flow more freely). Then there are the drink-
ing parties in basements and other secluded places, often permitted by
the parents for the same reason as the poker parties. Then there are
the dance clubs, which are generally about finding sex. (And there are
even now “teen dance clubs” for the same purpose, but done under the
guise of “safe” alcohol-free activities. Here, the sexually-suggestive
music is the worst problem, with actual sex a close second.)
All of this is leading more and more young people into contact
with the worst of society’s underbelly—drug dealers, prostitutes,
illegal gambling and various other criminal activities, to support their
drug habits.
Of course, television, the movie industry and other forms of enter-
tainment have also played a direct role in all of this. They have glori-
fied such parties and conduct by portraying them to be almost a part
of normal everyday life. It is no overstatement to say that the above
picture is what a big part of a college education has come to mean for
thousands and thousands of young people who seem to now see their
“college experience” as one endless “spring break”—no longer just
done in places like Florida, California or Cancun.
The appalling condition of the generation that will produce tomor-
row’s leaders has become one of the enormous statements of our time.
How incredible that huge numbers of today’s young people have come
to look for, and expect to find, a party somewhere—anywhere! This
pattern has become a never-ending search and cycle for so many, with
just one of the by-products being more and more teen suicides and
accidental deaths related to drug overdoses and overdrinking, which
all serve to bring the tragedy home to parents who never saw it com-
ing, or who did but had no idea how to stop it.
Ironically, the mantra of today’s youth is that anything is permis-
sible as long as no one “gets hurt.”
We can ask: Is it any wonder that parents are overwhelmed, having
no idea what to do? Is it any wonder that thinking people recognize
the experts have utterly failed?
Sexual Revolution Pre-teen Style
As mentioned earlier, teen—and even pre-teen—sex is now fast

becoming the norm, with large and growing numbers of pre-teens
attending “oral sex parties,” because they saw that it was not consid-
ered sex by the highest officeholders in the land. This has meant that
widespread fornication, leading to an explosion of teen pregnancies
and sexually transmitted diseases, has become a virtual way of life in
Western countries, with Britain now leading the way, as it suffers from
an epidemic of all such related diseases. (Large numbers of pre-teens
have also been attracted to the above-mentioned “rave parties,” which
have led such young minds to be quickly overwhelmed with a variety
of problems that minds much older than theirs are not even equipped
to deal with.)
Various types of “sex education”—and this is not all simple
instruction—are coursework in many middle schools and high schools
in the United States as part of the standard curriculum. Why then does
anyone wonder that children are having sex in record and growing
numbers? Then consider that British girls under the age of 16 are per-
mitted to have abortions without their parents’ knowledge, or without
the parents even knowing that their child had been pregnant! This is
an absolutely astonishing state of affairs.
The flip side of this coin is that there are growing numbers of
younger teenage girls who do want to have a baby—because so many
of their friends are having them. They are seeing this as a way of
having someone in their life who will demonstrate the “unconditional
love” that they can find no other way. Many view this as an attractive
“trend” that one should be willing to seriously “consider.”
Further, many young female schoolgirls are copying the trend
established by call girls and are publishing on the Internet “explicit
memoirs” of their sexual escapades and experiences because vast
numbers are only too eager to read them.
Before looking into the Bible to see how parents can properly rear
their children, we must take an even deeper look at today’s generation.
Chapter Two 23
“Strange Generation”
H ere is a descriptive reference from the prophet Hosea foretelling

the condition of today’s generation of young people: “They have
dealt treacherously against the Lord: for they have begotten strange
children…” (5:7). This is more true than the older generation can
even begin to comprehend.
Today’s youth live in a very different world than all previous
generations. It is one that teaches them careers come first—that
individual fulfillment is more important than rearing a family—that
stay-at-home mothers have become, and should be, largely a thing of
the past—and that households need two-parent incomes, or families
cannot survive. It is a world that stresses living almost exclusively for
today because tomorrow may never come.
Children today are cynical, emotionally drained and carrying a
kind of world-weary mentality. While many may seem tough and talk
tough on the outside, most are morally weak and spiritually vacant
inside. They have become a generation of emotionally-stunted chil-
dren. As a result, they lack empathy—they cannot feel for others,
and can only barely feel for themselves. They lack the moral fiber
or backbone to do the right thing, even when it is painless. Millions
have stumbled into adulthood believing that “if it feels right, do it.”
Is it any wonder that ten students are expelled from British schools
every day because of violent behavior? Was there ever doubt that the
American trend toward extreme mass violence in schools would also
take its place in Britain?
These conditions did not come about all at once. As far back as
the 1970s, modern society began rearing a generation of “latchkey
kids”—children who came home to an empty house after school.
Without adult supervision, they were left to their own devices. Vast
numbers of latchkey kids have practically reared themselves into
adulthood. The final products have not been good.
On the one hand, they have become generally (and often fiercely)
independent adults who seem to need little supervision on their jobs.
On the other, they never learned to emotionally bond with people
and are generally poor team players. They never learned to feel for
others, because they have been trained to feel—and fend—only for
themselves. This has also meant that they do not know how to build
loving, mature relationships. And they show little interest in parents
who showed little interest in them.
“Millennials”
Now imagine the following scenario: You are standing in the “12
Items or Less” cash register line at the local supermarket, waiting to
pay for a loaf of bread.
The man in front of you is buying a bottle of wine, which he pres-
ents to the cashier—a pimply blonde with streaks of orange, lime and
other unnatural colors swirling through her hair, a butterfly tattoo on
the inside of her left wrist, and body piercings on parts of the flesh
that can only be seen as perverse. Too young to legally ring up alcohol
purchases, she signals for help from an older cashier.
A pleasant, personable middle-aged woman suddenly appears. She
smiles at the customer and asks, “Hello, how are you today, sir?” as
she enters a code into the register. The transaction is made. The older
woman thanks the customer for his purchase, and then returns to her
other duties.
You are next in line. The young blonde stands at the register and
stares at you, saying nothing—not a “hello” or “how are you?” Nothing.
You step forward and present your loaf of bread. She rings it
up, bags it, tells you the price, which you pay, and she hands back
your change. Your transaction is complete. You pause for a moment,
expecting her to say, “Thank you. Come again.”
Nothing, not even a smile. It’s as though she’s a mannequin that
breathes.
You smile and offer words of appreciation for her prompt ser-
vice—to which she grunts, “Yep” or “Uh-huh” or something similar,
anything except, “You’re welcome.”
“Strange Generation” 25
Welcome to the age of Millennials.
They run supermarket registers and department store counters.
They loiter in malls in large groups barely saying a word to each
other, “too busy” text-messaging other friends. Many graduate from
college and take on entry-level positions in office complexes where
ties, dress shoes and general business attire are largely extinct—white
collar work environments where young employees freely call their
gray-haired supervisors by their first names and the expression “Pay
your dues” falls on deaf ears. The average Millennial does not know
how to professionally conduct him or herself in the office. He or she
lacks the training to use proper etiquette at business dinners and other
special occasions. Neither was he taught to value the hands-on experi-
ence of older, more seasoned generations. And he does not know how
and when to accept “no” for an answer.
The age of Millennials has dawned. A chapter about this genera-
tion is necessary before understanding what God requires of parents.
It is necessary to look in-depth at what have become many millions of
people throughout the Western World.
Who They Are
Born in 1980-2000, they are the latest generation of youth in the

United States, Britain, Australia and other Westernized nations.
Though called by various descriptive names—“Generation Y, Echo
Boomers, Generation Next,” and others—a poll revealed that most
preferred to be called “Millennials.”
Theirs is the first generation to grow up surrounded by the mod-
ern, “instant gratification” technology of digital media. They have no
memory of a world without computers, cellphones, digital cameras,
email, text-messaging, instant messaging, personal digital assistants,
mp3 players, handheld video game devices, blogs, do-it-yourself
Internet videos, online virtual worlds, web browsing and remote con-
trolled devices.
An estimated 80 million Americans, Millennials are set to replace
baby boomers as they retire from the workforce.
Unlike Generation X, Millennials are more likely to have grown
up in two-parent households where both father and mother worked.
However, the parents—perhaps in reaction to the childhood neglect
“Gen-X” experienced—offered advice to their children and encour-
aged their little ones to freely express their opinions and input on mat-
ters. Millennials were treated as “little adults,” as regularly depicted in
TV sitcoms and Hollywood movies.
Their view of life changed from that of previous generations
because the world itself had changed, now smaller, interconnected—
truly a global village.
In the book Connecting to the Net.Generation: What Higher
Education Professionals Need to Know About Today’s Students, a
survey of 7,705 college students in the U.S. revealed the following:
• 97% own a computer
• 94% own a cellphone
• 76% use instant messaging (increasing daily)
• 15% of instant message users are logged on 24 hours a day/7
days a week
• 34% use websites as their primary source of news
• 28% author a blog and 44% read blogs
• 49% download music using peer-to-peer file sharing
• 75% of college students have a Facebook account
• 60% own some type of portable music and/or video device such
as an iPod
• 90% have had premarital sex
There was a time when one’s childhood was localized to a
neighborhood, a school, a small town. No longer. Millennials shop,
research, phone, text-message and write to each other at any time, and
at any place. They’ve come to expect receiving what they want—and
what they want, they want NOW!
“Hovered Over” Childhoods
Baby boomers have been called self-absorbed. Gen-Xers have been

thought of as cynical and non-motivated. Likewise, Millennials are
identified by their extremes, their overall strengths and weaknesses. Of
course, all descriptions given to any particular generation cannot paint
every person with the same brush. There are exceptions.
Most Millennials are not team-oriented and not loyal to employers.
They maintain a “pragmatic” view concerning the modern workplace.
Having seen employees laid off after decades of loyal service to the
company, Millennials decide, “I won’t let that happen to me.”
They have grown accustomed to looking ahead to potential
employment options elsewhere. Despite economic disparities, jobs can
still be found, which means that fearing to lose one’s position is not
the same as it once was.
There is another reason fear of job loss is almost nonexistent.
From conception, Millennials were pampered by “helicopter” par-
ents—fathers and mothers who closely hovered over their children’s
every move and personally interceded in their affairs. They were raised
during the 1980s and 90s, when “Baby on Board” signs and “My kid
made the honor roll!” bumper stickers were prevalent. Millennials
grew up being catered to. The world revolved around them. They
joined soccer teams and received trophies just for participating. They
were told repeatedly, “Everyone is a winner”—which means the value
of winning was drastically lowered.
Their lives were micromanaged from one activity to another: soc-
cer, basketball, dance, martial arts, learning to play an instrument.
Millennials were made to feel sought after, needed and indispens-
able. Helicopter parents did not hesitate to try to convince teachers to
change Johnny’s grade. They negotiated with the soccer coach to give
Suzie more game time.
When Johnny and Suzie went off to college, the hovering con-
tinued. College instructors received phone calls and visits from
intervening parents trying to get better grades for their children.
And when Johnny and Suzie entered the workforce in their chosen
profession, Human Resources received phone calls and visits from
intervening parents. Some sat in on job interviews! Others told their
children’s employers that their salary offer or annual bonus was
insufficient.
“Our parents really took from us that opportunity to fall down on
our face and learn how to stand up,” said Jason Dorsey, who advises
fellow twenty-somethings on how to cope with work (60 Minutes).
Speaking of Millennials, he said, “We definitely put lifestyle and
friends above work. No question about it.”
Since they were rewarded all their life merely for participating,
adult Millennials have been conditioned into believing they should
be rewarded “just for showing up.” The real world does not work that
way—yet because Millennials will soon outnumber baby boomers and
Gen-Xers in the workforce, employers are having to change their tac-
tics in how they relate to their employees. Today’s office environment
emphasizes fun over work, creature comforts and freebies (free drinks,
free snacks, etc.) over structure and self-discipline.
Expectations
Parents, teachers—even children’s television shows—repeatedly

taught Millennials the importance of having self-esteem, to have a
can-do attitude, to be confident in themselves. Time and again they
were told, “You are special.” The intentions were good, but the effects
were terrible: a generation that expects to be praised for the least bit of
effort yet falls apart at the sound of a raised voice telling young work-
ers where they went wrong and how they can do better.
Millennials want more than a nine-to-five job—they want flexible
work hours, the option to telecommute or have a compressed work-
week. They cherish fun time, and expect the workplace to be challeng-
ing and creative. But above all, FUN!
Millennials are connected 24/7, from the time they wake up to
when they go to bed. With email, text-messaging, cellphones and
other means of instant communication, the line dividing work from
social life has blurred and faded.
Millennials do labor diligently, but only as long as they know the
ground rules and have enough time to “play hard.” Having grown up
receiving rewards and praise for everything, they expect to move up
the ladder of success—quickly!
“Although they are better educated, more techno-savvy, and
quicker to adapt than those who have come before them, they refuse
to blindly conform to traditional standards and time-honored institu-
tions. Instead, they boldly ask, ‘Why?’” (Employing Generation Why
by Eric Chester).
This is the same generation that craves interaction with their
managers and happily receives feedback, which their parents and
grade school teachers taught them to seek, especially if it comes with
praise. In return, they expect their opinions and ideas to be heard and
respected, despite lack of experience.
Millennials generally lack discretion—prudence—what was once
called common sense. They know that once an image, sound bite
or email is posted to the Web, it’s there forever. Yet the Internet has
become a dumping ground for recording the most embarrassing, crude
and shocking moments of people’s lives. Years later, when applying
for a job or attempting to move to a higher position, young teachers,
emergency workers and others have their hopes dashed.
Here is why: they may have caroused at a nightclub and “let
loose,” a moment captured by a camera phone for the whole world to
see—after drinking alcohol past the limit, they sang a hate-filled rant
at a bar, recorded and posted to the Internet as an easily downloadable
mp3—instead of thinking it through and understanding the impact of
words, they typed a mean-spirited email that was picked up by the
world of bloggers. Once online, it can never be deleted.
Also, Millennials were reared to be tolerant—“don’t judge.” But
parents and mentors failed to teach the importance of exercising
patience, discretion, prudence. They were not taught to value right
from wrong, to understand the difference between one and the other.

Building a Bad Reputation
A new industry of consultants has emerged to teach companies how

to interact with, train, motivate—and, in some cases, essentially
babysit—a generation that does not take “no” for an answer. These
consultants teach Millennials (and Gen-Xers, for that matter) how to
cover up visible tattoos; how to conduct themselves as professionals
in the office; how to exercise proper dining and business etiquette.
The U.S. is not unique in dealing with Millennials. In Australia, a
2007 survey of more than 315 small- and medium-sized businesses
revealed that almost 70% reported dissatisfaction with the perfor-
mance of Millennial employees, particularly in spelling and grammar,
and that they did not understand what constituted appropriate corpo-
rate behavior (Australia’s ABC News).
The Dallas Morning News reported that an advertising execu-
tive stopped hiring newly college-graduated Millennials altogether,
unless they held advanced degrees or had work-related experience.
Though the ad exec called them creative and tech-savvy, he said that
Millennials-at-large lacked the ability to be responsible, accountable
and to deal with setbacks. “They wipe out on life as often as they wipe
out on work itself. They get an apartment and a kitty, and they can’t
cope. Work becomes an ancillary casualty” (ibid.).
A generational expert told the newspaper that Millennials
have been “overparented, overindulged and overprotected. They
haven’t experienced that much failure, frustration, pain. We were so
obsessed with protecting and promoting their self-esteem that they
crumble like cookies when they discover the world doesn’t revolve
around them. They get into the real world and they’re shocked”
(ibid.).
Marian Salzman, an advertising executive at J. Walter Thompson,
told 60 Minutes, “Some of them are…more hard-working. They
have these tools to get things done. They are enormously clever and
resourceful. [But] some of the others are absolutely incorrigible. It’s
their way or the highway.”
“You do have to speak to them a little bit like a therapist on tele-
vision might speak to a patient,” Ms. Salzman added. “You can’t be
harsh. You cannot tell them you’re disappointed in them. You can’t
really ask them to live and breathe the company. Because they’re liv-
ing and breathing themselves and that keeps them very busy.”
Millennials do not like to be told to be patient reaching goals and
overvalue their worth to the company. Ms. Salzman said, “I believe
that they actually think of themselves like merchandise on eBay. ‘If
you don’t want me, Mr. Employer, I’ll go sell myself down the street.
I’ll probably get more money. I’ll definitely get a better experience.
And by the way, they’ll adore me. You only like me.”
60 Minutes also spoke to Mary Crane, a consultant. She said that
Millennials “have climbed Mount Everest. They’ve been down to
Machu Picchu to help excavate it. But they’ve never punched a time
clock. They have no idea what it’s like to actually be in an office at
nine o’clock, with people handing them work.” They lack how to react
with grace when under fire.
“You now have a generation,” Ms. Crane continued, “coming
into the workplace that has grown up with the expectation that they
will automatically win, and they’ll always be rewarded, even for just
showing up.”
“Old Paths”
God speaks to the citizens of this modern age: “Stand you in the ways,
and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk
therein, and you shall find rest for your souls” (Jer. 6:16).
The “old paths” of true values and right traditions were to be taught
within the family unit, the basic building block of any thriving society.
If the traditional family institution crumbles, so does civilization.
Millennials are reaching adulthood believing that any group of
people can be defined as a family, so long as it exists on “love.” God
also states, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hos.
4:6)—ignorance of the “old paths” that lead to lasting success.
In extreme cases, parents have pampered their children to the point
of being rotten! What has been missing is balance: Parents have either
babied their children or ignored them so that they essentially reared
themselves.

A Generation Without Values
Many children today are almost completely void of true values—and

many are not even aware that they should have values. Their minds
and emotions are invested in material things, such as $200 sneakers
and expensive leather jackets, and a host of other material possessions
that are thought to define their lives. Society has produced a genera-
tion in which some teenagers will actually kill to possess what others
have, because life has come to be about “status,” “getting respect,”
conforming to peer pressure, and living almost exclusively for the
moment. Many do not care about—or even think about—tomorrow,
but rather only about what will happen to them today.
On the forty-first anniversary of John F. Kennedy’s assassina-
tion, a horrific new video game was released in which players are
placed in the Dallas sniper’s window and try to assassinate the
president over and over again. A feature is available to add “blood
effects” for those who wish to see them as the president’s head
explodes from wounds. The game offers point deductions for hit-
ting Mrs. Kennedy, the driver or others in or out of the vehicle.
Incredibly, soon after the game’s release, for a short period to help
promote it, the producers offered a $100,000 reward to those who
had the best score. However, those familiar with video games such
as the “Grand Theft Auto” series and others say that the “JFK” game
is fairly tame by comparison.
We could also ask if it is really any wonder why so many school
shootings seem to involve hardened kids only too happy to kill other
children. It has been evidenced in some of these shootings that 14- and
15-year olds are able to display the skill of advanced marksmen, and
military and police snipers. It is worth noting in fact that some of these
professionals now routinely train on simulations that are variations of
these games.
The callousness of those who routinely play these types of games
can only be described as appalling! Yet, this is the world that is com-
peting for the attention of your children.
Rarely are children disciplined for their misconduct or even taught
that certain actions are wrong. Improper conduct is now largely
“winked at”—or even encouraged. Children are taught from a very
young age that their feelings should be their moral compass. They are
taught to reason their way through a situation by using little more than
impulses—by following what they feel is right.
Gone are the days when children were reprimanded for things like
being too loud or unruly on field trips. Because sexual limitations
have also been lifted, these same school trips today can be interrupted
by children performing sexual acts at the back of the school bus.
Because such conduct is not disciplined, these same youth can later
turn to pornography in order to pay their way through college. Truly,
all such acts are often tacitly accepted or even considered healthy
“exploration” of oneself.
Now consider this: How can parents teach their children to be
moral, to act justly and to be merciful when the daily news continu-
ally reveals the sins and crimes of adults—and in explicit detail?
White-collar crime, government corruption, widespread child abuse
among this world’s clergymen and others of influence, who are
supposed to help in young people’s development, terribly distort
the picture that children see. To young people, actions speak louder
than words.
Society is rearing a “generation that curses their father and does
not bless their mother” (Prov. 30:11). This describes the last genera-
tion of every previous educated and advanced society—the Romans,
Greeks, Babylonians, Egyptians and Assyrians, among others—all
of which eventually collapsed. Each of these great empires produced
youths who were proud, arrogant, unteachable, lazy, pleasure-driven
and generally rotten.
Simply scanning the world around you reveals that such a genera-
tion exists once again. As Solomon said, “There is no new thing under
the sun” (Ecc. 1:9).
The Bible describes the final generation of a society on the verge
of collapse. Let’s continue with Solomon’s description in Proverbs
30. Modern society is now producing what is described there as a
“generation that are pure in their own eyes, yet is not washed from
their filthiness” (vs. 12). Millions of young people today cannot be
told anything, including that they are wrong. This is because they
already “know it all,” and would have no need for anyone to offer
them instruction. They have witnessed too many television sitcoms
depicting children who know more than their “idiot” parents.
Further, this generation does not know the meaning of the word
“no,” and expects parents to “reason” with them—and to ask for
and receive their opinion. Virtually every issue becomes the subject
of negotiation—instead of simple instruction, coupled with strong
admonishment when necessary.
Almost an entire generation of parents have become unbalanced
in their childrearing. The “hold-outs” are becoming fewer and fewer.
In most cases, parents simply do not know how to properly rear their
children. As a result, rarely will they make their children do any-
thing—assigning few chores or responsibilities because most young
people will no longer be diligent in carrying them out or, worse, will
openly defy their parents with the confidence that they will do noth-
ing about it.
Society has forced parents to be more concerned with being their
child’s friend than in being his or her teacher and parent! And most
parents would rather be popular with their children than “upset” them
by firmly requiring anything of them—and teaching them right from
wrong, including the regular application of discipline when standards
are not met!
All Religions Have Failed
All of the supposed “great religions” have failed to give parents

the tools they need to properly rear their children into becoming
responsible, productive adults. This includes all of the world’s many
brands of Christianity, which teach that God’s spiritual laws—His
Commandments—were “kept for us by Christ” and were “done away
with,” and “there is no longer a need to keep them.” Therefore, moral-
ity has become a matter of personal taste: One man’s sin is another
man’s lifestyle.
Modern theologians routinely substitute the righteousness of
God—His Commandments (Psa. 119:172)—for the standards of righ-
teousness established by men, and call it “political correctness.” This
greatly adds to the confusion of what children see.
It is no wonder that most teenagers and even younger children
today have smug faces and generally smirk at all forms of authority,
often making no attempt to hide the rolling of their eyes because they
think that they already “know” what is right and wrong. Woe to those
who try to teach them otherwise. So many are ungovernable, unman-
ageable and unruly.
Political correctness teaches young people that nothing is truly bad
or wrong—except intolerance. But herein lies a great irony—those
who preach political correctness will not tolerate those who take a
stand against sin. What hypocrisy!
Teens are no longer taught right from wrong, because so many
of their parents no longer seem to know the difference, even on the
basics. So many now embrace a world of “differing shades of gray,”
where clear-cut rules of morality, ethics and integrity no longer
exist. Large numbers of people—many of whom are parents!—rou-
tinely steal items from their jobs (pens, markers, paper, notebooks,
or much larger items like computers, expensive tools and other
equipment—and even time, while at work) and then wonder why
their children shoplift.
What blindness!
Fifty years ago, if a child found a wallet containing a large sum
of money, he would likely have automatically turned it over to the
police. Today, such a child would be ridiculed—laughed to scorn—by
his peers, and even by some adults! He would probably be written up
in the local newspaper as a veritable hero, simply because practicing
what was once considered a civic duty has now become a phenom-
enon. Such honesty is so rare that it makes headlines!
With the fuller picture of today’s youth, how can parents hope to
effectively rear a child in such a morally and spiritually upside-down
world? What chance do they—do YOU—have to train a child God’s
Way so that he can become a successful, productive, obedient, happy,
and emotionally, physically and spiritually mature adult?
There is hope. The truths in this book will show you the way—but
you must first see, and then be willing to meet, the enormous chal-
lenge that lies before you! This almost certainly involves much more
than you now realize. But you can succeed—and you should proceed
as though you will!
Chapter Three 35
The Biblical Doctrine

of Childrearing
M ost people view childrearing as a matter of personal opinion.

With no idea that there is a right way—and many wrong
ways!—to rear children, they either make up their own rules, repeat
the methods used by their parents or listen to confused, disagreeing
“experts.” In effect, anything goes.
How many have come to think like the following new, young
parent, a 19-year-old superstar, professional athlete, who, upon the
arrival of his new infant son, born out of wedlock, said this about why
he would not seek advice from good role model parents around him
offering help?: “You can’t teach someone to be a father. There are no
tips like playing basketball. You have to raise your own kids.” Such
ignorance is astonishing to the point of being almost breathtaking. But
this is to be expected when children have children—and no one has
taught them what they are getting into.
In regard to discipline, this kind of thinking causes parents to fall
into two extremes, neither yielding positive results:
(1) They discipline too much, even to the point of child abuse.
Every year in the United States, several thousand defenseless
children are literally beaten (or shaken) to death, and four million
more are abused annually in an adult tantrum holocaust of growing
proportion.
(2) They discipline too little—or not at all. These parents listen to
psychologists and other “authorities” who warn against the “hazards”
of spanking, scornfully referring to it as “beating.”
Ignoring the facts, and forgetting that generations past who were
firmly disciplined for wrong conduct were much more stable, respect-
ful and wholesome, these supposed experts now declare that spanking
only teaches children to be aggressive and violent. Yet, they fail to
explain why there is so much widespread violence among youth—
theft, assault, rape, murder—at a time when parents are spanking less
than ever!—and many or most not at all. No one is helping parents
who desire guidance and help to “connect the dots” between today’s
problems and the ever-changing rules and guidelines of modern chil-
drearing.
Vast numbers of parents, forced to rely on themselves or on the
misguided opinions of so-called experts, have no way of knowing
what to do when it comes to properly rearing children. They need
help, not recognizing the problems that they are facing are spiritual,
not physical. They need to turn to the only source of true spiritual
understanding—the Bible—God’s Word!
Most do not know that childrearing is a biblical doctrine—and
that the Bible has much to say about it. They do not recognize that it
is a teaching from God, like baptism, conversion, salvation, tithing,
the Sabbath, God’s annual Holy Days, faith, grace, law and sin—and
every other teaching in His Word.
Two Approaches to Childrearing
When God’s servants, those truly carrying His authority, teach the
only way to properly rear children, most people would see it as med-
dling, not biblical instruction. This is because it hits close to home
and becomes personal. And, like children, many simply do not want
anyone—this includes God!—telling them what to do, even when they
have no idea themselves.
This book is written for those who recognize that they do not have
all the answers.
Within the Church that Christ built, the Eternal God has established
His ministry to teach His Way of Life in all points—the way that man-
kind has rejected since Adam and Eve’s fateful decision in the Garden
of Eden to rebel against God’s rule over them. But God is calling a
very few (John 6:44) out of this world’s customs, values, traditions,
false teachings—and erroneous thinking of supposed experts—to
understand and live His spiritual laws. These few are reaping the
spiritual benefits.
This can include you. But only if you can recognize that all forms
of childrearing fall into two categories:
The Biblical Doctrine of Childrearing 37
(1) God’s Way, revealed in His Holy Word.
(2) The world’s way, as influenced by the “god of this world”—
Satan the devil (II Cor. 4:4; Eph. 2:2). This fallen spirit is the unseen
source of human nature (Rom. 8:7).
Anything contrary to God’s teachings—His doctrines—is error.
The apostle Paul warned, “a little leaven leavens the whole lump” (I
Cor. 5:6). Error, like leavening, spreads. Wrong principles of chil-
drearing are no exception. Childrearing as practiced today stands on
a completely wrong foundation. What started out wrong has grown
much, much worse!
Authorities in society, and some parents, do teach certain good
things concerning the rearing of children. But this means that they are
teaching a mixture of good and evil. This is the lesson of the tree of the
knowledge of good and evil in the garden, which God explained was
to be rejected. Only God’s Way is pure, with no hidden “downside.”
If you want to rear your children to lead successful, abundant lives,
God’s Master Instruction Book will guide you. Revealing the hidden
shoals in a dangerous world that threatens your child, the Bible is filled
with correct teachings and spiritual principles that always yield posi-
tive results to those who faithfully practice them. But you must deeply
desire to learn God’s way of childrearing, and then diligently apply it
without compromise—and for many years!
You must be prepared to throw away the intellectual nonsense
taught by people who have “credentials” but who reject God’s author-
ity over this and all other matters in life. You must be prepared to put
God’s Way into practice as you learn it.
Rearing a Family
Let’s examine some basic statements about what God says regarding
rearing a family.
Paul was also inspired to record, “for whatsoever a man sows, that
shall he also reap” (Gal. 6:7). Then notice this: “Except the Lord build
the house, they labor in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the
city, the watchman wakes but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early,
to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows…” (Psa. 127:1-2).
If God is not in the “house” you are building—if you do not involve
Him in the way you rear your children—you are destined to reap pain
and sorrow of almost every kind.
Verse 3 continues: “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and
the fruit of the womb is His reward.” Plainly, your children are God’s
special gift to you. Unlike most people, who cannot wait until their
children are grown up and gone, you should cherish them throughout
their time under your charge.
So tragically, many people think that children are a burden. They
do not understand that it is selfish not to want children. Such people
would rather focus on themselves than share their knowledge, expe-
rience and attention with the next generation. They are unable to see
children as little fellow human beings with whom they can practice
and share the love of God.
When God brought Adam and Eve together in marriage, He
instructed them to “be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth”
(Gen. 1:28). Recognize that this instruction was actually a command
from Him to have children, because the family unit is the human pat-
tern picturing His own Divine Family. While this is a subject of other
books and booklets—and I have written many explaining this pattern
within God’s supreme purpose—it should at least be briefly acknowl-
edged here in the context of the shrinking size of the average family
in Western civilization.
Verse 4 of Psalm 127 adds more: “As arrows are in the hand of a
mighty man; so are children of the youth.” By, in effect, “shooting an
arrow,” you (as a parent) are extending your life beyond yourself—
through your children. This is one of the reasons verse 5 concludes
with “Happy is the man that has his quiver full of them”!
Now read the very next Psalm, and its exciting promise: “Blessed
is every one [who] fears the Lord; [who] walks in His ways.” This is
because if you do, “Your wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides
[heart] of your house: your children like olive plants round about
your table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed [who] fears the
Lord” (128:1, 3-4).
Children are sent to parents as a blessing—not a burden. So says
the Creator God.
Understand, however. God has not given children to you to merely
be your possession. Remember that they are your blessing!
Childrearing Is a Stewardship
As previously mentioned, God has given children to you as a gift of

stewardship. If you are a true Christian, called out of the world and
being led by the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:9, 14), you understand that your
children could one day have the same opportunity. At some point in
the future when your stewardship is completed, God will take back
your children. When it becomes time for Him to offer them salva-
tion, and for them to receive His Holy Spirit, following repentance
and conversion, your final record will have largely been written. The
efforts of your stewardship—your childrearing today—will have
made God’s job tomorrow either harder or easier.
Grasp this. You hold far more authority in this process than you
may have dreamed!
In ancient Israel, God did not consider people to be adults until
they had reached the age of 20. Today, for most, this is age 18. In this
sense, God has given you approximately 18 to 20 years of steward-
ship, to finish the product that He will receive.
Upon Christ’s Return, all God’s true servants will have to give an
accounting of every aspect of their life. How well parents “occupy”
in wisely carrying out their child training stewardship now reveals
to God whether He can trust them to rule over cities in the World to
Come. Take a moment to read this extraordinary, detailed parable. As
a Christian and a parent, your stewardship includes your children and
family. In verses 20-22, Christ agreed with the unprofitable steward
that He was “austere.” But verses 23 to 26 show that God expects us
to use the stewardship He gives us!
Jesus explained to His disciples that the Christian walk is difficult.
Here is what He told them to expect: “Enter you in at the strait [dif-
ficult] gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leads to
destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: because strait is
the gate, and narrow is the way, which leads unto life, and few there
be that find it” (Matt. 7:13-14).
The living Jesus Christ has very high standards for those who
choose to follow Him. It is the Christian parent’s task to sow a bounti-
ful crop—it is Christ’s plan to reap it.
The Four Important Rules of Childrearing
Contrary to common belief, people are not born with the knowledge
of how to be good parents!
Due to all the stresses of today’s fast-paced life, we have seen that
parents turn to television to help keep their children occupied. In an
effort to have some quiet time, and to avoid the hard work of train-
ing their children, parents essentially hand their children over to the
worst possible “babysitters” and “nannies”—Hollywood screenwrit-
ers, television producers, computer programmers (those who produce
video games), etc. These people become the children’s most dedicated
mentors!
It takes hard work to be a parent! It is a full-time job that requires
substantial, ongoing effort. Many parents today seemingly have little
or no time for their children! Without correct priorities, most will also
not make the time for their children!
Long gone are the days when the entire family would spend time
together discussing an endless array of interesting topics. Gone are the
times when children would read book after book, learning about the
world around them. Now, their minds are drained by technology, and
parents willingly give up their responsibility to teach their children how
to live, how to think and how to become productive, successful adults.
Again, you may have never thought of correct childrearing as
a biblical teaching, but it is. Properly rearing a child—made in the
image and form of God, destined to be born into His Family—requires
spiritual understanding from God. In fact, because of all that is at
stake in the outcome of just one child, of course God would have to
give detailed instruction.
No parent naturally knows everything about how to rear a child the
correct way. God must teach this knowledge—like any other doctrine
revealed in His Word. The parent must become a student of God’s
Word on this vitally important subject.
Some people are naturally better at parenting and working with
children than others. Some are better at nurturing children. Others
are better at admonishing them. Yet, all parents must be taught by
God. All parents need to study His instruction on childrearing. Strive
to merge the good things that you may have already been blessed to
know with what God’s Word reveals.
Notice the New Testament instruction in Ephesians 6: “Children,
obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father
and mother: (which is the first commandment with promise)” (vs.
1-2). Children must be taught to respect their parents—this does not
come naturally. If followed, this commandment—and the application
of all childrearing principles—will yield blessings, as Ephesians 6
continues: “That it may be well with you, and you may live long on
the earth” (vs. 3).
This Bible chapter next addresses parents: “And, you fathers,
provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture
[education, training, instruction] and admonition [mild rebuke, warn-
ing, correction, discipline] of the Lord” (vs. 4). We will revisit this
passage in Chapter Seven in a different context.
Help your children to honor you. Make it easy for them. No child
will grow up to respect a nagging parent who berates him at every
opportunity. Would you?
Set clear boundaries for your children. This means being commit-
ted to using discipline when necessary.
You must also be determined and equally committed to continually
teaching your children all the vital lessons and important principles
of life. It has been said that the single greatest gift you can give your
child is to be a wise and understanding parent, one able to teach them
in almost every circumstance.
Now for what I call the four great rules of childrearing:
(1) Teach!
(2) Teach!
(3) Teach!
(4) Teach your children absolutely everything they need to know!
Do not allow your children to merely stumble into adulthood. Just
as God teaches you, so you must teach them. This is your responsibil-
ity, as the following scripture shows: “And these words, which I com-
mand you this day, shall be in your heart: and you shall teach them
diligently unto your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in
your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down,
and when you rise up” (Deut. 6:6-7).
Be prepared to teach your children all the time, and on every
occasion—the proverbial morning, noon and night. Your responsi-
bility is to instruct them in all the values they need in order to suc-
ceed. God designed children to be like sponges—they were created
to learn. Your children are unconsciously looking to you to teach
them how to navigate the increasingly complex maze of today’s
world.
Think of little minds as clay. You can literally mold them into
whatever you choose—good or bad.
The greatest gift you can give to your child is to train him in
God’s Way. Notice: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and
[margin: even] when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Prov.
22:6).
After your 18 to 20 years of good stewardship, your children will
produce positive fruit!
Never Let Discipline Become Abuse
The wise parent recognizes the proper and timely use of physical
discipline. He or she never disciplines out of anger—when emotions
have been allowed to get out of control. The results can prove to be
disastrous, in more ways than one.
We have already mentioned parental violence against children.
Children must always be understood to be little people who have
absolutely no way of defending themselves. Remember that you are
almost certainly much bigger, much stronger, and weigh much more
than even the largest of your children.
Keep this in mind at all times. Your child must never be given the
opportunity to think that he is the object of your uncontrolled wrath—
or the victim of an assault. There is not a single good thing that will
come from administering this kind of discipline, and your child will
come to resent and even hate you for it. He must recognize that you
are disciplining out of a pure motive of concern for his long-term
well-being.
Yet, remember that discipline must never be merely “love taps”
to a child or it will accomplish nothing. The child must know that
spanking is something he or she does not want to experience—for any
reason! This alone becomes a reason why spanking, done properly,
usually becomes a rarity.
Is God’s Way Harsh?
Let’s momentarily examine how God dealt with rebellious teens in

ancient Israel: “If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which
will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and
that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: then
shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto
the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place; and they shall say
unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he
will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the
men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shall you
put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear”
(Deut. 21:18-21).
Notice that God told the Israelites to actually put to death—exe-
cute!—teenagers who refused to obey their parents or respect authority.
This sounds harsh, even barbaric, in today’s world, but God under-
stood what was at stake for His society if such a rotten attitude was
unleashed upon it for an entire lifetime.
Understand that God set this standard to be an example. Upon
witnessing such a graphic execution—and probably of one who was
at least an acquaintance—how many teens would even think about
rebelling against their parents? Few—if any! God’s punishment was
actually merciful. And, in the end, it saved many lives, and resulted
in many obedient, respectful teenagers. Very few would have to die,
because they would not dare to break God’s Fifth Commandment—
“Honor your father and mother”—if they knew it would have cost
them their lives!
At that time, God carried out punishment within His Law very
quickly. He did not waste months and years of trials, retrials, appeals
and the like, as do the time-and-money-consuming courts of men.
Unfortunately, mankind, cut off from God (Isa. 59:1-2), has not
learned this lesson. Notice: “Because sentence against an evil work is
not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully
set in them to do evil” (Ecc. 8:11).
God moved swiftly to administer justice in a carnal-minded soci-
ety, one whose citizens did not have His Holy Spirit. The ancient
Israelites did not have the opportunity to repent spiritually—to change
and grow from carnal ways to the ways of God.
Today, God administers justice in a spirit-minded society—His
Church! True Christians do have the power of God’s Spirit dwelling
in them to change from the “way that seems right unto a man” to the
way that produces real peace and true happiness. Certainly, it is not
God’s purpose to put Christians to death. In His mercy, He has given
them an entire lifetime to change, grow and overcome—to develop
His holy, righteous character (II Pet. 3:18).
When people read Deuteronomy 21, they tend to focus on the per-
son who is executed and thus miss the point. But God, in His supreme
wisdom, focuses on the ones who will not be executed—those who
will take His laws seriously as a result of what they witness happening
to those who rebel. God’s wisdom is higher than man’s (Isa. 55:8).
Divine understanding is superior to human reasoning every time!
Strengthen Your Children
Today’s youth are defiant, but essentially weak, because they have not
had to suffer as have most previous generations. Their defiance only
makes them appear to be strong, and confuses what is actually hap-
pening. The world’s focus on pursuing pleasure and the “good life”
teaches children to be weak—to lack the moral strength, stamina and
perseverance of generations past.
There are a number of studies demonstrating that teens invariably
do better—grow stronger—when the father is involved. They become
less delinquent and more educated because they have fathers who
tenderly teach them everything they need to know in order to achieve
success.
Fathers, of course with mothers assisting, you must always be will-
ing to literally “spend” yourself—continually putting forth the effort
to keep your children from stumbling into the many pitfalls of the
twenty-first century world!
Is Spanking Bad for Children?

The “experts” of modern society have developed their own ideas
about the use of spanking—and they conflict with the truth of God.
Here, contrasted with what God teaches, are their feelings, in their
own words:
The world’s way: “Spanking sets the example that it is okay
to hit when a person is displeased or upset.”
God’s Way: If done properly with love and consistency, spank-
ing sets boundaries—and can literally save a child’s life. Children
must know that they cannot dart into traffic, play with electrical
sockets, steal or do other dangerous things. If they refuse to heed
instruction, spanking becomes their “wake-up call.”
The world’s way: “Placing a child in timeout is an old but ef-
fective method of punishment…Giving a couple of warnings for
bad behavior is fine, but never acting on the threat of a timeout will
let the child know you will not act on their bad behavior.”
God’s Way: First, giving children more than one warning for
bad behavior is not fine. Parents should always speak ONLY
ONCE.
Second, timeouts are not much of a deterrent, and children
know this. If a timeout works, then fine. But if it does not, spanking
is an effective alternative. Even the warning of a spanking can be
effective—IF you neither abuse nor underuse it.
The world’s way: “Spanking may be a temporary fix to a
problem. It may even permanently stop a certain behavior, but the
damage being done is worse than whatever the behavior was. A
child who is regularly spanked will learn to disrespect their parents.
As that child grows older he will seek ways to withdraw from an
untrusting and scary relationship.”
God’s Way: Spanking does end bad behavior. And yes, it
does teach your children to fear you—just as God wants His chil-
dren to fear Him. Consider the following scriptures: “Blessed is
every one [who] fears the Lord, [who] walks in His ways” (Psa.
128:1).
“In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence…The fear of the
Lord is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death” (Prov.
14:26-27).
“Then you shall say unto your son…the Lord commanded us
to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good al-
ways, that He might preserve us alive” (Deut. 6:21, 24).
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge” (Prov.
1:7).
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (9:10).
“The fear of the Lord prolongs days” (10:27).
“Blessed is the man that fears the Lord, that delights greatly in
His commandments” (Psa. 112:1).
Spanking, done God’s Way, produces proper fear, respect—
and trust.
The world’s way: “No child needs a spanking. Spanking can
be dangerous. You can never tell when children will be hurt badly
by a spanking if you lose control. Children do not need to be hit in
order to learn how to behave.”
God’s Way: Spanking, applied properly, is not dangerous.
However, never setting clear-cut boundaries, backed by quick but
loving discipline, is dangerous! Of course, no parent should EVER
be out of control, whether in spanking or any other aspect of chil-
drearing.
Parents who seek God, and who ask Him to develop in them
the fruit of longsuffering and self-control, will not have to worry
about losing control when spanking.
The world’s way: “You can do lots of things that will help your
children learn self-control—you can help them feel good about
themselves, you can show them how a person with self-control
acts, you can guide them, you can set limits, you can correct mis-
behavior by talking to them, and you can teach them how to think
for themselves.”
God’s Way: And if your children refuse to obey you, then
what? If you tell them, “Timeout!”, but they continue to run wild,
screaming and out of control, then what? If they absolutely refuse
to control their emotions—if they continue to whine, wail and cry—
or if they make markings on the walls or rip up books—what will
you do?
Talk to them? Give them more timeouts? Let the TV serve as
a babysitter?
Or will you apply God’s clear command to use discipline?
“Chasten your son while there is hope, and let not your soul spare
for his crying” (Prov. 19:18).
God’s Way always makes much more sense!
Discipline—Rules You Can Use
Every parent will find that there are a variety of circumstances that
warrant the use of discipline and correction. Here are some important
rules to follow:
When Giving Instructions, Always Speak Just Once
Do not repeat yourself or raise your voice when giving instructions. If

you do, you are actually programming your child—literally condition-
ing him!—to respond to the number of times that you are willing to
repeat your instruction before taking action. You are also conditioning
your child to respond to the level of volume (and this means the degree
of anger) of your voice—the point at which he knows that you are
finally going to take action if he does not respond.
Your child must be trained to respond to what you are saying, not
how loud or how often you give instructions.
Consider. If you are willing to repeat your directive over and over
again, you have no right to ask for or expect your child to obey you
on the first time. How can you expect or even believe your child will
do as you tell him the first time an instruction is given if you are at the
same time telling him through willingness to repeat it several times
that he need not worry about obeying on the first utterance?
Get this! You are actually—and actively—teaching your child
NOT to obey your instruction the first time you speak if it is given
even twice. Of course, the fruits throughout society today are that the
children ARE “obeying” this popular parental “command” to disobey.
At this point, if he does not respond, you must punish him. (But
make sure that he hears you. Give your instructions firmly and clear-
ly.) Also, always be sure your child knows exactly what actions will
bring the punishment. Leave nothing to guesswork. That is unfair to
the child.
Were you aware that God declares you hate your child if you fail
to discipline him or her? Notice: “He that spares his rod hates his son:
but he that loves him chastens him betimes [promptly]” (Prov. 13:24).
Most parents simply will not believe this verse. Many parents say,
“Oh no! I love my child too much to spank him. I could never do that.”
Regardless of what you think, God states that you hate your child in
such circumstances. You are refusing to see the long-term damage and
pain your child will suffer if his actions are not properly channeled by
you when he is young.
You must be willing to set aside all personal feelings and every
form of human reasoning telling you to follow your own ideas
about what defines love and what defines hate in the eyes of God.
Recognize that GOD—who declares that He is our Father, and thus
the ultimate Parent!—knows better how to rear children than do
human parents, whom He sees as so many of His own adult children
who think they know better than He does! You must be determined
to follow, without compromise, all of His instruction about chil-
drearing.
God admonishes human parents, “Chasten your son while there
is hope, and let not your soul spare for his crying” (Prov. 19:18).
But civilization largely rejects God’s wisdom, thinking physical dis-
cipline—even proper spanking—is child abuse. Therefore, parents
must be wise in applying discipline. Never physically discipline a
child in public. Those around you will not understand that you are
merely employing basic biblical principles of loving childrearing. All
physical punishment should be administered at home or in otherwise
private settings.
Modern civilization views Proverbs 23:13-14 as harsh: “Withhold
not correction from the child: for if you beat [other translations say
“spank”] him with a rod, he shall not die. You shall beat [spank] him
with a rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell [the grave].” Since
society will not employ God’s laws, principles and teachings, is it
any wonder that the world is filled with every conceivable problem,
trouble, evil and ill?
One of the greatest acts of love that you can show your child is to
teach him to respond the first time you speak. He will learn to do this
with his school teachers, coaches, future supervisors, police officers
and all other authority figures. Think of this as teaching your children
not to be their own worst enemies!
If you diligently discipline your children now, in their early years,
you will only rarely need to discipline them later. And God states that
if you faithfully carry out this responsibility, your children will “give
you rest” (Prov. 29:17).
The Punishment Must Fit the Offense
Every wrong action does not carry the same weight of offense. For
example, cursing is much worse than not washing behind the ears,
and stealing is worse than coming home after curfew. If you do not
show your child the right balance—the fundamental ability and com-
mon sense to discern serious misconduct from minor infractions—you
will teach him bitterness and injustice, to never give the benefit of
the doubt and to be merciless to others. Expect that he will reflect the
same imbalance you demonstrated in matters of judgment about his
actions.
Remember, good parents did not start out this way. They had to
learn to become good parents. And learning proper balance in chil-
drearing takes time.
Immediately Show Affection

Every Time You Discipline Your Child
Never permit your child to feel that his actions have brought your
rejection, that he is now “in your doghouse,” until he can work his
way out and earn your affection once again. Otherwise, when your
child becomes an adult and sins (Rom. 3:23), he will almost invariably
fall back on the pattern of childhood, and feel rejected by God. He
will have trouble believing that God will forgive him (if he repents),
no matter what the sin may have been. Also, he will similarly feel
rejected by future teachers, supervisors, and others, when simple mis-
takes are pointed out.
Hug your child with genuine affection. Teach him or her that the
discipline is over, and that there has been no rejection. All children
love—and require—affection.
Never Forget the Power of Example
Perhaps the single, most powerful tool you can use to teach your chil-
dren is your example—the way you live.
All children, but particularly small ones, automatically look up
to their parents. For younger children, you are the center of their
expanding world, and your example affects them more deeply than
anything you could teach them.
Are you applying the laws of success in your life? Are you living
the way of “give” and following what you are learning about the true
God of your Bible?
The success of your children hinges on your answers!
Do you want your children to regularly pray and study God’s
Word? Then show them how—study and pray with them. Do you want
them to save and spend money wisely? Then you must do the same.
Do you want them to spend less time watching television and to pur-
sue worthwhile things—books, hobbies, sports, etc.? Set the example.
Too many parents, in effect, unconsciously tell their children, “Do as
I say, not as I do.” Be careful your children might not be able to hear
what you are saying because of what you are doing.
Now that you know the importance of teaching children, the
chapters ahead will guide you in both what to teach them and how
to teach them.
Chapter Four 51
Where Teaching
the Basics Begins
A ll parents want their children to lead happy, abundant, successful

lives. But this will not be achieved by accident. Children need
specific guidance. Everyone recognizes that people are most influ-
enced when they are young. This is why it is so important for parents
to instill, beginning from a very early age, the proper focus and frame-
work on which to base their lives.
The next three chapters contain an extensive list of different attri-
butes and qualities to teach your children. No book of this kind could
address every important character trait necessary to lead a happy,
productive life. Therefore, this list is not all-inclusive, and other points
could certainly be added to it, but it covers all of the most crucial
things that children need to learn in order to be properly equipped for
adulthood.
Parental involvement is critical in the successful education of all
children—meaning not just how well they do in school but in a host of
other vitally important areas of their development. It has been demon-
strated that children tend to thrive in a more tightly managed routine.
This is particularly important when it comes to how well they will do
in school.
For instance, as we have seen, doctors and educators now talk in
terms of “Attention Deficit Disorder” (ADD) and “Attention Deficit
Hyperactivity Disorder” (ADHD) when they are describing a child
that is out of control. In reality, many of these children have been
permitted to grow up out of control—without order and structure in
their lives—and these terms have been invented to provide an excuse
for what is usually merely bad parenting. A growing number of voices
are announcing that vast numbers of parents have been “had” by false
theories that have led so many parents and children to believe that
they have a “disease” that needs to be treated with medication, rather
than a behavior problem that is linked to faulty character above all
other factors. Yet, there are now over six million American children
who are being medicated for ADD and ADHD.
In the end, it will be up to you to help your children develop all the
necessary traits and qualities that will permit them to come to full matu-
rity. These will be the subject of discussion in the next three chapters.
Understand that there is necessarily a certain amount of overlap on the
many principles and other aspects of teaching throughout the book.
Make Clear the Importance of Setting Goals
By age 70, many people will have spent about ten years watching
television. There are thousands of television programs waiting to cap-
ture your children’s minds and reduce them into mindless “sponges,”
absorbing information without being able to differentiate between
what is good and bad for their consumption. Without your interven-
tion, your children are almost certainly destined to become “couch
potatoes.” Millions today waste their entire childhood in physical and
mental idleness, staring at “the tube.”
You can counteract this by limiting your children’s television
watching, and by teaching them to set proper goals.
Teach them to read books—and to perhaps write book reports
(my grandfather paid me one dollar for every book report that I wrote
and read to him over the phone, as long as it had over 300 words).
Encourage them to take up hobbies, such as building model ships or
airplanes, or collecting coins, stamps or postcards. Guide them to
participate in sports, such as basketball, soccer, tennis, swimming,
etc. Encourage them to learn a musical instrument, such as the flute,
guitar or piano. They can learn to skate, build and fly a kite, keep a
journal, make watercolor or oil paintings, model with clay, keep a
garden, and many more things—the list is endless.
Help your children expand their minds and explore their talents.
They have untapped gifts just waiting to be discovered. But they need
your guidance to do this.
Teach your children to write down their goals. Over time, they
will learn which goals can be reached, which should be amended and
which should be dropped. Then teach them how to take steps toward
Where Teaching the Basics Begins 53
the goals, and to be able to measure their progress along the way. Be
sure to remind them often that the Proverbs teach, “The desire accom-
plished is sweet to the soul” (13:19).
Sports will teach them lessons and values. (“It’s not whether
you win or lose, but how you play the game”—following the rules,
respecting the coach and learning to emphasize teamwork.)
Coach your children to participate in activities with enthusiasm,
and not to give up or quit when “the going gets tough.” It has become
a sign of the times that poor sportsmanship has sunk to new levels,
with professional athletes leading the way. Sadly, the problem of the
proverbial “little league parents” out of control has grown to epidemic
levels as well. This means many children have become poor losers.
You must teach your children to cope with losing—but to desire
to achieve!
Guide Toward the Pursuit of Excellence
Strive to instill within your children the desire to reach their poten-
tial, to go above and beyond what is expected of them—to learn how
they can do much more than they ever thought possible. Teach the
principle of Ecclesiastes 9:10: “Whatsoever your hand finds to do, do
it with your might.”
Any goal or thing of worth requires hard work—one must pay
the price. Most today are no longer willing to pay that price and will
happily settle for second best, or less.
Teaching your children to persevere will give them the inner
strength needed to achieve their goals. This will have implications
in not just their goals and desires, but in every aspect of their lives!
Teach your children to never give up—even in the face of hardship—
and you will virtually ensure their success.
Inspire your children with the knowledge that life rewards those
who go the extra mile: “See you a man diligent in his business [NKJV:
“who excels in his work”]? He shall stand before kings; he shall not
stand before mean [inferior] men” (Prov. 22:29).
Jesus had much to say about those who only do what is expected
of them. Notice this: “But which of you, having a servant plowing or
feeding cattle, will say unto him by and by, when he is come from
the field, Go and sit down to meat? And will not rather say unto him,
Make ready wherewith I may sup, and gird yourself, and serve me, till
I have eaten and drunken; and afterward you shall eat and drink? Does
he thank that servant because he did the things that were commanded
him? I think not. So likewise you, when you shall have done all those
things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants:
we have done that which was our duty to do” (Luke 17:7-10).
Most people today are not interested in going above and beyond,
preferring instead to do as little as possible. Many are now perfectly
willing to do sloppy, slipshod work, no matter the waste or cost to the
company, because they are in a hurry to finish—with so many always
looking ahead to the next thing that will be “fun.”
Not only should your children be willing to go the extra mile, but
they should always be willing to do it with joy, zeal and enthusiasm—
from the heart! Regardless of the problems they are facing, do not let
them mope or moan about “how hard” things are or how hard their life
is. Remind them that things could always be harder—and probably
will get harder at times later in life.
Help Your Children Discover Their Talents and Interests
Some people live their entire lives unaware of what their strengths
are, or worse, believing that they have none. Most often, this has been
because no one helped them discover these talents, and they did not
know how to do this themselves. While this book can only scratch
the surface of the subject, it should at least inspire you to see that you
can greatly encourage and inspire your children if you help them see
the natural talents that they were born with. If tapped, apart from the
importance of their relationship with God, these qualities offer them
the greatest chance for fulfillment and happiness.
Think of it this way: Almost every human being has strengths and
weaknesses. There are virtually no exceptions to having some talents
and absolutely no exceptions to having certain weaknesses. One of
your tasks is to help your child discover his or her God-given abili-
ties, talents and interests. For instance, your child may be extremely
gifted in a particular area or way, and this gift could be something that
has never before appeared in your family. Be on the lookout for such
gifts, and do not squash them when you see them simply because you
have never seen these particular talents or abilities before or because
they are not your strengths. On the other hand, do not decide that you
see talents that are not really there. Be careful that you do not try to
remake your child in your own image. You are a unique human being,
unlike any other person on the face of the Earth.
So is your child!
Consider for a moment your own strengths and interests, regard-
less of how you came to know of them. What if your parents, teach-
ers, coaches or employers had never taken an interest in your poten-
tial, or worse, actively sought to quash these interests? What if you
had never been able to discover and develop them? How different
would your life have been? Would you be in the same career or even
close to the level of happiness that you have been able to enjoy? The
answer is almost certainly not.
The other side of the coin is that it is possible that your mentors
did not encourage you to develop your strengths, and to become all
that you could have. If this is the case, avoid doing the same with
your children. You can yet thrill to the realization of a success in
their development that you never had, and this will be a reward
unlike any other a parent can enjoy!
Do your children have an interest in music, art, science, mathemat-
ics, sports, model-making, stamp-collecting, horticulture, animals,
reading, rock-climbing or a host of other things? Strive as hard as you
possibly can to recognize and nurture these interests. Ask your chil-
dren what they enjoy. Observe and talk to them. Try to discern where
they may and may not be naturally talented and where their interests
lie. Try to be supportive in a balanced way, also not allowing them to
quit simply because the early going in a particular sport or activity is
tough, when this is always the case in any new endeavor.
Set Limits
Of course, costs can create certain limits—skydiving?!, deep-sea fish-

ing?!—and children cannot pursue every sport, every hobby, every
musical instrument, every activity—and every dream—that they may
have. Obviously, everything in life has a reasonable and natural limit.
Teach your children this principle and to be able to find this limit on
their own, in everything that they do. They must also understand that
they should finish what they start and not hop around from activity to
activity, sport to sport, and hobby to hobby, or they will never learn
perseverance and to continue through to final achievement.
A word of caution. Avoid at all costs turning your children’s inter-
ests, talents or gifts into “idols” that you and/or your children unwit-
tingly worship. This can happen most often where a young person has
an unusual or truly extraordinary gift. The parents of such children
must work exceptionally hard to keep their child from becoming
unbalanced and overly focused on one gift or one interest to the exclu-
sion of all others. Be careful of this, or your child’s extreme gift will
sentence him or her to a lifetime of extreme misery!
It could be said that much of the satisfaction of a happy life is
about reaching one’s potential, and even more so with special poten-
tial. On occasion, and this will be very rare, private coaches may be
a help if, when weighed against all other priorities, it fits into the
family budget.
Strive to stand behind your children as they explore what they can
and cannot do.
The Worst Parental Sin—Spoiling Your Children!
The subject of the last sections introduce a related subject, and one
that could scarcely be more important.
There could be no more awful curse to place upon a child or chil-
dren than to be a parent who spoils. This produces a host of problems
in both the character and personality of children that will adversely
affect them for an entire lifetime. But it does not even end there
because the effects will then be transferred and intensified in subse-
quent generations.
The generation that lived through and experienced the Great
Depression of the 1930s, and that suffered through the myriad of
horrors, as well as the holocaust (of many nations), of World War II,
was left forever changed by what they endured. This is often referred
to as “The Greatest Generation.” Among other qualities learned and
instilled, these millions were more hard-working, stronger of charac-
ter, thankful for freedom, courageous, willing to sacrifice, patriotic,
more appreciative of all that others take for granted, and held a com-
pletely different perspective toward what people perceive today to be
their “rights.”
History has shown that the peoples of America, Britain and other
Western democracies came through perhaps their gravest trials ever
because of the sacrifice of millions (many of whom lost their lives)
who thought in terms of integrity, honor and the privilege of freedom.
This thinking has been replaced by a belief based on entitlement,
meaning liberty, material possessions and all the good things of life
should be automatic—are birthrights.
But, like every generation, even this “greatest” one were parents.
As such, they made one seemingly collective, terrible mistake—they
decided their children must never have to endure the rigors, difficul-
ties, challenges and “going without” as they had to experience. This
is perhaps likened to the parent who was spanked too often as a child
and erroneously concludes, “I will never spank my children.”
The result was a generation, usually referred to as “baby boomers,”
with less interest in building character and more interest in focusing
on themselves and in the accumulation of physical things. But it got
worse. The baby boomers in turn reared a terribly spoiled, ego-driven
generation that was dubbed “Generation X” because no one had any
idea how they would ultimately turn out. The end product was far
from good. But it got worse—again. The less industrious, selfish,
largely “pain-free” Generation X we saw went on to produce a yet
again much worse next generation—and this is true of strength, char-
acter, values, selfishness, knowledge, experience, health, and almost
every other measure of success in the life of any human being. If
Generation X is immoral—and it is—this one is amoral, and in almost
every way.
This newest generation, the “Millennial Generation,” could only
be described as infinitely more spoiled—truly rotten! (as you have
understood from Chapter Two)—than their relatively barely spoiled
baby boomer grandparents just two generations older. Those were
virtual paragons of altruism and selflessness by comparison. It is as
though the modern generation believes themselves put on Earth for
the sole purpose of pleasure and partying.
Avoid at All Costs!
Parents, above all, do not spoil your children. Avoid this trap at all
costs! If you do not, you are literally sentencing them to be stubborn,
selfish, self-focused, ego-driven, rude and demanding, and almost
entirely materialistic. The net effect is that they will be powerless to
deny themselves their every want, and to miss the pain and suffer-
ing that comes with this. In addition, you will have made them weak
and built into them a sense that everything should always be fair
(discussed momentarily)—and that they are entitled to all that they
have—to what previous generations earned—when this is not true
of life.
You are also instilling into them, and this is often done by over-
praising, that they are “special” and/or “gifted.” This thinking (a plain
lack of humility) will make them very difficult or impossible to teach
because they will not receive criticism. They will find it difficult, or
be completely unable, to admit they are wrong, no matter the offense.
They will, however, be well able, and happily willing, to criticize the
shortcomings of others.
After a while, such children in effect “own” their parents—and
from a young age they realize this. This is because the parents have
been more willing to cave in to—even constantly “make” over, if
necessary—them than to deal with the exhausting aggravation and
hassle of never-ending arguments and whining from the child every
time it does not get its way! Ask: How often have you heard, or found
yourself exclaiming, “I just can’t deal with them”?
Finally, the children who are the greatest candidates for being
spoiled are often the “only child,” or the last born—“the baby”—and
particularly the “late life baby” who either came much later than its
siblings or after the parents were told that no more children were pos-
sible. (But this can also happen with a firstborn child.) When older,
and having reached the stage of thinking more like grandparents, such
parents often find it difficult to discipline such children, and even
more difficult to tell them “no.”
Be on the lookout for the natural tendency—a potential within
every parent!—to run a popularity contest with his children and to
take the easy path of “smothering” them with the best of everything.
(I wish I had a nickel for every time my father reminded me that “I
am not running a popularity contest here.”)
Make this a simple equation: spoiling usually equals ruining!
Repeat often to your children that they are no better than anybody
else, and that the measure of their value and success is solely tied to
regular contact with God, strength of character, pursuit of the right
goals, willingness to overcome obstacles in their path, real achieve-
ment, how much they give versus get, the amount of honor extended
to generations that have gone before them, and the volume of effort
and sweat expended to earn what they have.
Instill these and other vital, related internal qualities with an
unceasing relentlessness that your children cannot miss for their
importance!
There is no greater parental sin than spoiling children!
Teach Your Children They Cannot Always Have Their Way
Millions of parents now routinely cater to their children. The ways in

which they do this are practically endless. It is as though parents feel
they must satisfy their child’s every whim—and do this on an almost
minute-to-minute basis.
Take just the matter of bedtime. Vast numbers of children, when
put to bed, will get up for a host of reasons, offering a creative
variety of excuses—“I’m hungry,” “I’m thirsty,” “I can’t sleep,”
“I’m scared” (in this case, said as an excuse), “I’m not tired,” “You
didn’t read me a story”—and parents are trapped as real prisoners to
their children’s inventions about why they do not need to obey their
parents—and GO TO SLEEP! Worse, I have observed many parents
who cannot put their child to sleep unless they take him into the
car and drive him around, sometimes for long periods, until he falls
asleep. This is costly, time-consuming, fatiguing—and ridiculous!
This kind of catering teaches children to grow up expecting to be
catered to and sets them up for a rude awakening.
There are some things we just cannot have. Fair or not, that’s life—
and your children must comprehend this. However, most parents have
no idea that they should be instilling into their children even this most
basic fact of life.
Try this experiment: The next time you are walking through a
supermarket, listen to parents talking to their children (and try to
notice if you are seeing and hearing yourself at the same time). Watch
how parent and child interact. While it may not be obvious at first,
you will notice that the child is getting what he wants and the parent
is almost invariably giving in and obeying the child. Today’s children
can be seen actually directing their parents.
For instance, a toddler may grab cookies from the shelf while his
mother is pushing the cart down the aisle. When the mother takes the
cookies and returns them to the shelf, the child often explodes into
a tantrum. Frustrated, the mother attempts to reason the child back
to calmness, by coaxing and explaining—and sometimes turning to
pleading and begging—that this is not the proper reaction, and not the
right place to “express” himself.
This may be followed by a series of attempts to verbally placate
the child, all of which ultimately fail. Finally, driven by embarrass-
ment and desperation, the parent places the cookies back into the
cart, quickly calming the child—but teaching him a devastating les-
son. This “lesson” often goes so far as to include opening the pack-
age immediately and giving the child a cookie. I have seen it.
Instead of simply being told “no,” and responding obediently—
and demonstrating happiness with the parent’s decision—the child
learns how to manipulate his parents in order to get what he wants—
how to satisfy his wants or desires. In effect, the parents are teaching
the child to do, feel and think what is “right in his own eyes” (Prov.
12:15), with no regard for those around him.
Even God’s most faithful servants did not always receive what
they desired or asked for. God used Moses to guide ancient Israel out
of Egypt, and through 40 years of wandering in the wilderness, until
coming to the Promised Land. Yet, Moses was not permitted to enter
the land with Israel.
Paul faithfully preached and spread the gospel of the Kingdom
of God throughout the Roman Empire. Throughout his ministry, he
never wavered in teaching the full truth of God. Yet, the facts of
history indicate that circumstances had taken him from what must
have once been a previous life of considerable comfort. Here is what
he recorded:
“Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in
labors more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more fre-
quent, in deaths often. Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes
save one. Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice
I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep; in
journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by
mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city,
in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false
brethren; in weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger
and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness. Beside those things
that are without, that which comes upon me daily, the care of all the
churches” (II Cor. 11:23-28).
Educate your children to the basic fact that they cannot always get
what they want—that life does not always deal them the hand they
expect or feel that they deserve. Like Paul, they must learn to be sat-
isfied with—and appreciate—what they have. Here is what suffering
and difficulty taught Paul: “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I
have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know
both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and
in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to
abound and to suffer need” (Phil. 4:11-12).
Since God gives the above instruction to you as a Christian, you
will increase your child’s future happiness immeasurably if you teach
him to be content with his life, including all the things that he can-
not control.
Teach Your Children Life Is Not Fair
Prepare your children for perhaps life’s harshest reality: What hap-
pens is not always fair. Some people are born blind, deaf or otherwise
physically disabled. Sometimes, people with less talent but more
attractiveness or better “connections” are selected for certain respon-
sibilities or rewards over those more qualified.
Your children need to know that they could be discriminated
against because of their social or economic background—or because
of their accent, nationality or race. Explain that these injustices could
happen to them.
Then teach your children that even Christians who faithfully obey
God could also be discriminated against—that, at times, they will
almost certainly suffer injustices. In all these things, remind them that
this is not God’s world, and that their ultimate reward comes from
Him.
My father made a point of telling his three children, literally, that
he was not trying to be fair, and actually had no interest in being fair—
because life is not fair. His thinking continued: if he always needed
to be fair—something he knew was not really possible in many cases
with children, anyway—he would be programming us to believe that
we would always be treated fairly when this is not what life is for any-
one! He wanted us to understand that we had to succeed when things
were not fair, and to not waste time believing life would always deal
us “a good hand.” In other words, he taught, you have to play the hand
you are dealt either way, so practice succeeding with “a bad hand.”
If you ready your children at an early age, they will be prepared for
life’s stumbling blocks and take them much more in stride.
Teach Your Children the Meaning of the Word “No”
Tragically, most parents are no longer willing or able to tell their chil-
dren “No!” in emphatic terms. Modernists have seduced millions of
parents into reasoning with their children—endlessly! A generation of
child psychologists have carefully taught parents how to reason with
their children over almost every issue—to ask their child if they will
do this or that, seemingly needing to get permission from the child to
secure obedience.
Schooled in the false theory of evolution, which rejects revealed
knowledge, these “educators” are themselves educated in all the
wrong values and, lacking true understanding from God, have
assumed that godly forms of punishment harm children’s self-esteem
and development. Such reasoning has been proven unsound, and stud-
ies show that children are actually incapable of reasoning in any but
the simplest matters until they reach age seven or eight.
“No” is the most character-building word in the English language.
Your children have a right—and need—to hear it from you! Never be
afraid to tell them what they NEED to hear in lieu of what they may
WANT to hear. You are the parent. They are the children. Keep this
distinction clear—in your mind and theirs.
Ask yourself how often you hear others—or yourself!—tell your
children to do something (anything) followed by the request for their
stamp of approval by ending with “Okay?”—“It’s bedtime, okay?”,
“Put your toys away, okay?”, “Let’s eat your green beans, okay?”,
“Let’s put your coat on, okay?”, etc.
More Shocking Television Statistics

The reach of television has changed dramatically. Children once had
only eight or nine channels to choose from. If there was nothing interest-
ing to watch, they had to find something else to do—ride a bike, draw
pictures, play outside, etc. Never mind before television existed.
Today, children have access to hundreds of channels. There are
individual stations specifically devoted to action, mysteries, westerns,
cartoons, food, game shows, history, pets, comedy, soap operas, sci-
ence fiction and religion. The list is growing—even exploding!
With so many channels to “surf,” it is not surprising that time spent
watching television has skyrocketed, especially among children. Sixty
percent of all children watch television and use the Internet an average
of six hours daily.
In a survey of 3,155 children ages 2 to 18, half said that they did not
have parental rules limiting their time viewing television or the kinds of
programs they watched. And 61% of children ages eight and older said
they watch what they want, when they want.
According to one study:
(1) Men and boys portrayed on TV often focused on the opposite
sex. One boy in the study said about a character, “His main goal is to get
the girl.”
(2) One in five male characters uses physical aggression to solve
problems.
(3) 49% of the children polled watched music videos daily.
(4) More than 25% of the videos included some degree of attention
to female breasts, legs or torsos. Also, 50% of the time, women were
likely to be featured semi-nude or dressed in revealing clothing.
Here are more facts about TV viewing in the U.S.:
• 98% of households have at least one television, 34% have two,
and 40% have three or more.
• In the average home, television is on 7 hours, 40 minutes per day.
• Among children ages 2 to 11, the average child watches 1,197
minutes—almost 20 hours—of television per week! Yet, his parents only
engage in 38.5 minutes per week of meaningful conversation with him.
• According to the U.S. Department of Education, “Academic
achievement drops sharply for children who watch more than ten hours
a week of TV.”
For example, 6th and 12th grade California students who were
heavy TV watchers scored lower on reading, written expression and
math achievement tests than students who viewed little or no televi-
sion.
• 52% of children ages 5 to 17 and a very high percentage of chil-
dren ages 2 to 5 also have a TV in their bedroom.
• 70% of daycare centers use television during a typical day.
• When asked to choose between watching TV or spending time
with their fathers, 54% of children ages 4 to 6 preferred television.
• The average youth spends 1,500 hours per year watching TV—
but only 900 hours per year in school.
• There is only a 1-in-12 chance that parents will require their chil-
dren to do their homework before watching TV.
• By the time the average child completes elementary school, we
saw that he or she will have witnessed more than 100,000 acts of vio-
lence on TV, including 8,000 murders. By age 18, these numbers dou-
ble!
• We also saw that by age 70, most people will have spent about
ten full years watching television.
• 80% of Hollywood executives believe there is a link between TV
violence and real-life violence. Yet they do nothing about the program-
ming that they offer!
• 81% of children ages 2 to 7 watch television alone and unsuper-
vised. This rises to 95% for older children.
• According to a 1999 CNN report, “…a typical teen-ager views
nearly 15,000 sexual references, innuendoes and jokes on television
each year, of which fewer than 170 deal with abstinence, birth control,
sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy…
“The so-called television ‘family hour,’ from 8 p.m. to 9 p.m., con-
tains more than eight sexual incidents per hour—four times as many
as in 1976…
“Alcohol, tobacco or illicit drugs are present in 70% of prime time
network dramatic programs…”
• Children who are extensive television watchers tend to have a
greater risk of obesity, alcohol and drug abuse, and sexual activity.
• Children who watch 4 or more hours of television daily spend
less time on homework, have poorer reading skills, interact less well
with friends, and have fewer hobbies than children who watch less
TV.
• According to www.limitv.org: “Watching TV impedes the growth
of longer attention spans…the approximately seven minute length of
program before a commercial interruption can condition a child to a
seven minute attention span. The Wall Street Journal, February 10,
1994, relates the experience of Odds Bodkin, who performs before
some 100,000 people a year, most of them children.” (Recall his com-
ment that after about seven minutes, restlessness sets in as children’s
inner clocks anticipate a commercial break.)
“Watching TV interferes with the development of reading skills. A
child must learn to move the eyes back and forth across the page in
order to read. But with television, the eyes fix on the screen. One hour
a day in school learning to move the eyes back and forth cannot com-
pete with four or more hours with the eyes fixed on a TV screen. It’s
little wonder that many children find difficulty learning to read.”
For those who will receive the message, a fully mature adult parent
asking a small child for approval is a towering statement about who is
in charge—and doing this will teach your child to become a debater,
and that your every instruction is up for discussion. Your children
need to ask YOU if something is okay or not. YOU are supposed to
be in charge, never the child!
No wonder the prophet Isaiah said of the final age before Christ
returns, “As for my people, children are their oppressors…” (3:12). It
is the sad experience of millions of parents today that their children
have virtual mastery over them, running them ragged, with the parents
having no idea what to do about it or even that it should be any other
way. Modernists have coined the phrase “childcentric families” to
describe millions of today’s homes. In what has been called “a vast
family management meltdown,” great numbers do not know where to
turn or that God gives instruction in such matters.
Your Authority Is Often Enough
Teach your children to accept the simple phrase, “Because I said

so,” and that this may be all the explanation they will receive. They
will learn to submit to authority without having to always know
why.
When I tried to tell my parents in circumstances where I wanted a
reason that they were unwilling to give, I tried perhaps a couple times
to tell them, “Well, other parents allow my friends to do (whatever
may have been the case).” Invariably, my parents answered with a
simple, “You don’t have other parents. You have us!”
On a side note, for those who need their very small children to be
quiet in public places or at church services, it is crucial that you teach
them when to “hush.” While it is wonderful to watch tiny children
“discover” their voices, they must understand that there is a time
and place for this. Be sure you are regularly teaching your children
the importance of “quiet time.” This means making them practice at
home. Your children need to understand that at naptime, or at any
other time you want them to do this, they must respond to the mean-
ing of “head down.” It is a good idea to try to coordinate your little
children’s naptime to the time you need them to be quiet, such as dur-
ing church services. But this also applies to them being quiet when
awake in a public place, such as a restaurant.
Be sure that you are requiring obedience in every circumstance.
Never fall for the siren song that disobedience is “just a stage they
are going through” or that they are experiencing the “terrible twos,”
which inevitably lead to the “terrible threes” and the “terrible fours.”
The real problem is simply terrible disobedience.
Unfortunately, too many parents have taught their children,
through nagging and not applying proper discipline, that “no” means
“maybe,” “possibly” or “we’ll see.” Make your children understand
that “no” is not the opening round of a negotiation. While this does
not mean that you can never ask their opinion, they must understand
that your decisions are final! You will love the benefits of follow-
ing this principle—and the peace and rest that it will give you in
the place of endless frustration. Remember Proverbs 29:17, which
showed that practicing proper childrearing can result in your chil-
dren “giving you rest.”
Also, children must learn very early that their parents do not
exist for the sole purpose of making them happy—for satisfying
their every whim, want and desire. The God-ordained role of parents
is to provide for and train children, while instilling in them all the
attributes, qualities and skills necessary to be productive, successful
and happy.
This means that parents must not fall into the trap of thinking
that they must buy everything the child wants. (Of course, television
ads are not your friend in this regard.) Many do this in an endless,
exhausting—and very expensive—cycle. While you may wish to get
the occasional really special item your child desires, remember that
nothing will remain special if he can have everything he wants.
Educate Your Children in the Art of Communication
The ability to communicate effectively is one of the most important

skills to acquire, and socializing in a host of different settings is
inseparable from life! Being able to communicate effectively will ben-
efit your children in countless ways—and for the rest of their lives. It
will help them build friendships, open doors for them and help them
succeed in the workplace.
The art of communication takes practice. It takes time to learn to
accurately and tactfully express yourself, and to communicate well
with others. Children will not do this naturally. Most people today use
the same words, terms and phrases over and over, generally because
they never learned to develop their vocabulary. They continually fall
back on very weak expressions. Here are just a few things people
say when they do not know what to say next—when they do not
know how to respond with something of meaning or value: “You
know,” “okay?”, “really!”, “yeah, right,” “you know what I’m say-
ing?”, “like…,” “uh-huh,” “whatever,” “and what not,” “totally!” and
“suuuure!”
Parents and schools once placed a strong emphasis on doing a
tremendous amount of reading, particularly of longer books. This
greatly enhanced people’s ability to converse across a wide range of
diverse ideas and thoughts—as well as to think about those ideas and
thoughts. This served to make people familiar with famous authors,
philosophy, world history, geography, current events and world
conditions, great leaders, and so much more—and their discussions
reflected depth.
This has all changed. In a world in which millions of teenagers and
young adults lead a soap-opera existence, where most seem to discuss
little more than an endless stream of shallow, unimportant topics—
usually centering around updating one another regarding not much
more than the typical “he said, she said” events occurring in other
people’s lives—very little meaningful conversation occurs.
I learned the value of expanding one’s vocabulary very early. From
the time I reached first grade, my mother required me to get our enor-
mous family dictionary (it was almost as big as I was at the beginning)
to look up words that I did not understand. Although it frustrated me
then, because none of my friends’ mothers required it, I am now grate-
ful beyond words for this exercise. It is still enriching my life over
fifty years later.
Teach your children that they can rise above all of the nonsense—
that they can think and talk about bigger things, including impor-
tant ideas, and what is happening in the world around them that is
changing so quickly. Also, encourage them to express thoughts with
color and enthusiasm, and to expand their vocabulary by learning
and using new words. They will discover that others will find them
interesting, and even fascinating, to talk to. They will stand out to
those who think!
Encourage Your Children to

Respond and to Reflect Thoughts and Feelings
Young people in this generation have come to be jaded, cynical and

perpetually moody. So many appear to be almost entirely joyless,
bored and selfish. Observe a group of typical teenagers, and you will
notice that most seem to wear expressionless, emotionless masks,
hiding their true feelings. Instead of saying what they really feel, they
generally say what adults want to hear. One of the tragedies of our
time is that almost an entire generation literally does not know how
to talk—how to intelligently express a thought. Of course, not all
thoughts are simple. Many are quite complex and require intelligent
analysis and a larger reservoir of words through which to convey them
than exists in the vocabulary of the average young person today.
Teach your children to be bright and enthusiastic—to respond to
events around them. Do not allow them to be cynical or moody, or
to develop and hold wrong attitudes. Make them change their mood
and tone. This will lead to a habit of making themselves do this. The
universal mantra of youth today is “I’m bored.” What makes this so
incredible is that never have children had so many kinds of things to
occupy their time. This becomes its own great testimony to the fact
that having everything has little to do with having happiness!
Children should literally almost never find themselves bored. It
has been shown that boredom has often been a precursor to creativ-
ity. When your children are complaining of boredom, this can be a
message to you that you are not teaching them to explore, to think
“outside the box”—to create with their God-given minds. Turn these
opportunities in a creative direction.
Teach your children to develop the capacity to enjoy! The Psalms
declare, “This is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice
and be glad in it” (118:24). How many people do you know who
practice this way of thinking? The answer is surely many fewer than
just a generation ago. How many parents are teaching this kind of
approach to their children, focusing them on the challenge of each
new day that lies ahead?
Let me offer an aside: My mother emphasized learning to enjoy
what we did as children. Her own example made this easier. Because
she was a gourmet cook, many were the evenings, at dinner time,
when she had prepared something unique—and new to us—and then
announced, “Children, tonight we are going to tutor our taste buds.”
Do not permit your children to function like robots. Teach them to
feel, to have empathy for others. For example, teach them to be happy
when a friend or schoolmate wins an award. Also teach them to be
sensitive to the suffering of others.
Consider the big picture of Bible prophecy: In the future, God
will allow many nations to suffer what is called the Great Tribulation.
This describes a time of military invasion, captivity and slavery for
countless millions. But He will show favor to those who “sigh and
cry” about all that they are witnessing.
Notice Ezekiel 9 and the message it contains about how God
wants his servants to feel regarding the increasing suffering of so
many around the world: “And the Lord said unto him, Go through
the midst of the city, through the midst of Jerusalem, and set a mark
upon the foreheads of the men that sigh and that cry for all the
abominations that be done in the midst thereof. And to the others He
said in my hearing, Go you after him through the city, and smite: let
not your eye spare, neither have you pity: slay utterly old and young,
both maids, and little children, and women: but come not near any
man upon whom is the mark” (vs. 4-6).
God expects His servants to feel deeply for others, to demonstrate
real concern for them—and to be able to reflect that concern in words
and body language. Teach your children to do these things, that sym-
pathy and empathy for the plight of others is inseparable from life! In
so doing, you will have done your children a great service, and will
have indirectly taught them to be more thankful for the special knowl-
edge that God has given you and you are giving them.
Require Proper Handling and Saving of Money
The entire Western World is awash in consumer debt. The ease with
which credit can be obtained, and the constant temptation to overuse
credit cards, coupled with a growing lack of restraint and self-control
in the world at large, are pushing more and more people into the finan-
cial tragedy of bankruptcy. But far greater numbers are living right at
the limit, having put themselves on the edge of bankruptcy.
Instill into your children the value of saving for “rainy days,”
because hard times always come. In a world driven by the urge for
instant gratification—where merely seeing something in a store
window means that one must have it NOW!—people are no longer
taught or see the need to save. Building a “nest egg” for marriage,
retirement, to buy a home or to send children to college, is no lon-
ger as important to millions of families. Implant the big picture into
your children from an early age. Train them to save by telling them
that they can buy certain items if they are willing to patiently save
first. Perhaps be willing at times to share the cost with them, when
they do this.
Prepare your children to understand that they must plan for and
pay bills (and to do so on time). Many couples get married with little
or no training (and, in some cases, without even an expectation) that
they are soon going to actually receive a “light bill”—and that it will
have to be paid on time!
Start your children off with the habit of regularly paying God’s
tithes and offerings—first! Teach them to make God their “financial
partner” (Mal. 3:8-12). Distribute their allowance in a way that they
can easily subtract 10 percent. Teach them that 90 percent goes farther
when they have God’s blessing than does 100 percent without it—and
that they literally cannot afford not to tithe. While God’s “math” makes
no sense to the carnal mind, tithing brings extraordinary blessings to
those who faithfully practice it. Though it takes faith, it always pays in
the end. (To learn more about tithing and the blessings that following
this command brings, encourage your children to read my booklet End
All Your Financial Worries. Then they should also consider reading
Taking Charge of Your Finances.)
Teach your children the far-reaching importance of money—that
it can only be spent once, that it should always be spent wisely, that
credit cards can be a wonderful blessing or a curse of catastrophic
proportions carrying the potential to cripple an entire future, that God’s
tithes come first and that saving is important, among numerous other
principles.
Have your children occasionally report to you what they did with
their money. This will teach them to carefully account for it. It will
also help them avoid being enslaved to a lifetime of stress, constantly
overwhelmed by debt.
Teach your children that they have no hope of success in life with-
out learning to properly handle money!
Guide Your Children to Be Selective in Choosing Entertainment
We saw that the average American child (all ages included) watches
an astonishing 6.5 hours of television each day. A typical teenager is
exposed to nearly 15,000 sexual references, innuendos and jokes each
year, among many other wrong acts of violence and disrespect for
authority. This has a very real—and sometimes permanent—effect on
the development of a child’s mind.
In I Corinthians 15, Paul wrote, “evil communications [Greek:
companions] corrupt good manners [character]” (vs. 33). Diligently
train your children, with the explicit instruction to guard their minds
against this world’s mindless entertainment. If you allow them to
waste hour upon hour associating with coarse humor, graphically vio-
lent video games, and sexually-explicit song lyrics, do not be surprised
when they take on the values they are seeing and hearing.
Teach your children what it means to select the right kinds of
entertainment. Instruct them that all forms of entertainment should be
of good quality, and that they must seek it in balance, and at the right
time—and that entertainment should never be pursued as a means of
escaping problems.
70 TRAIN Lives
YOURare
CHILDREN GOD’S WAY
in your hands
when you bring children into
the world. Accepting that
responsibility is the first step.
It is never too late to educate
ourselves in the skills needed in
order to do this well.
Where Teaching the Basics Begins Start early to help your 71
children positively face
life’s challenges. They
will learn that problem-
solving can be exciting
and fun.
72 TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN
Learning GOD’S WAY
how to cooperate and
get along with their siblings
and how to respect others
is vital. Also, good manners
and proper etiquette will be
invaluable, and will serve them
for a lifetime.
Where Teaching the Basics Begins Too many parents 73
postpone training until
trouble arrives—and it is
too late. Since you will
not always be present, it
is crucial that you teach
right decision-making
so that you and your
children avoid disastrous
consequences.
Children are important

members of the family team.
Explaining family goals
and expecting shared effort
and shared responsibility
binds families together and
gives everyone a sense of
contribution and purpose.
Where Teaching the Basics Begins When hobbies are 75
encouraged and interests
are developed, confidence
is built. Children learn
that they can enter the
adult world expecting to
succeed.
Help your children realize

their potential by looking for
talents that might need rein-
forcement. Teaching the habit
of pursuing and sticking with
a goal instills perseverance—
stick-to-itiveness—and brings
countless rewards.
Where
RegularlyTeaching
talkingthe
toBasics Begins 77
your child one-on-one
is critical for a host of
reasons. It will keep you
aware of their thinking
so that you can respond
as necessary. This also
shows your children
that their thoughts and
concerns are important
to you. This will build
openness and a bond
of trust that will last a
lifetime.
Sometimes, it takes strong

character to resist what is
wrong. Teaching children all
the elements of good character,
and not to succumb to the
world around them strengthens
children against wrong
influences. Also, being pulled
into activities that unnecessarily
exclude others is not showing
outgoing concern.
Where Teaching the Basics BeginsGood eating habits, which can be79
coupled with building good work
habits, must be established early
to provide healthful nutrition and
a solid base for physical growth
and strength throughout your
children’s lives.
80
One of the greatest gifts TRAIN YOUR CHILDREN GOD’S WAY
you can give your children
is a hunger for knowledge,
and this can be cultivated in
children when young. Teach
your children to love learning.
They will love you later for it.
The Bible teaches that “…there is

a friend that sticks closer than a
brother” (Prov. 18:24). Doing things
as a family unit first develops close
relationships between siblings.
But these are the base for building
other wonderful relationships that
can last a lifetime. The bonds of
true friendship will help support
your children in their most difficult
trials.
Make sure that your children never disconnect what they think
from what they are. Explain to them that if they feed their mind with
senseless junk, disguised as entertainment, it will affect how they live
and who they become.
Encourage Your Children to Be Balanced and Well-Rounded
More and more people lack even the most basic common sense held
by most adults of only a generation ago. This is because the majority
no longer experience life as widely as most once did.
Many today are conditioned to follow extremes—extreme sports,
extreme conduct, so-called “reality television” depicting people
doing appalling things (which are actually far from reality), extreme
violence, extreme parties, extreme music, entertainment and video
games, and even extreme language. The principle of doing things in
moderation has given way to the need for exhilaration, titillation and
achieving a certain shock factor—pushing every limit—connected to
making everything as graphic as possible.
Your children are witnessing and, whether you recognize it or not,
being drawn to these kinds of activities. You will have to resist the
trend. If you are teaching your children from an early age to be bal-
anced, they will be less interested in pursuing extremism, and your
task will be easier.
In addition, the course of society has trended toward students
specializing throughout their education, enroute to a career of spe-
cializing, often in a very narrow endeavor. Fight the influences—par-
ticularly at school—that will try to force your children into making
decisions about their future before they are prepared to do this, before,
in most cases, they could even begin to have any idea what they
want to do with the rest of their lives. I remember well feeling this
pressure in high school long before I had any idea about my future
career. Emphasize to your children not to become too narrow or overly
focused on one thing. Guide them to be balanced in everything: hob-
bies, sports, reading, exercise, games, homework, eating, travel and
other aspects of life. Teach them to seek and enjoy a wide range of
interests and activities, and that life is more fulfilling when they are
experiencing variety in everything.
The Danger of False “Tolerance”
A word of caution: Be sure that you do not confuse balance and well-
roundedness with tolerance, which today means accepting all views,
opinions, lifestyles, values and perspectives. Experiencing widely
does not mean accepting widely. While this is addressed in other
sections of the book, be sure that your children understand the clear
difference between right and wrong—good and bad—and that extreme
conduct generally translates directly into sin!
People once knew that they needed wisdom to survive life’s end-
less obstacles and pitfalls. Of course, there are many such traps
waiting to swallow your unsuspecting children if they are not edu-
cated to what can happen when they are least expecting it. Ask God
to give you an abundance of wisdom (Jms. 1:4-8). And then expect
that He will. If your ways please Him, and if you are determined to
obey Him, He will guide you in teaching your children proper bal-
ance, to be well-rounded and to experience widely across a broad
array of activities.
Strive to inspire your children toward wholesome activities that
will broaden their thinking, improve their confidence—and deepen
their happiness!
Teach Your Children to Come to You with Questions
Society today (driven by Satan the devil, who hates the family unit
because it pictures a relationship he can never enjoy) promotes antago-
nism between young people and their parents—often labeled benignly
as a “generation gap.” This hostility includes viewing nearly all adults
as the “enemy,” and the result has been that few children any longer
consider it necessary to seek, in search of wise counsel, the opinions
of adults.
It is a tragedy that the relationship between parents and children
has become a virtual battlefield, with intermittent sniper fire, skir-
mishes and hidden landmines. Millions of young people show little or
no respect to the people who brought them into the world, and who
worked (including fathers and single mothers having to sometimes
work more than one job) to nurture, feed, clothe and teach them.
They are too busy feeling misunderstood—when, in fact, their parents
understand them all too well. But many of these parents do not actively
promote, when their children are young, an openness that will carry
into the teen and adult years.
Young people often feel that parents do not understand their pres-
ent circumstances. Be sure this is not the case with your teenagers and
younger children. Listen carefully to your children. You have many
years of experience to offer them, as a basis for giving sound advice
in a broad array of areas. It is your responsibility to instill within them
sufficient warning about smoking, drinking, drugs, pre-marital sex,
gambling and any other vices that could harm them. This is much
easier to do if your children feel that they may easily and comfortably
come to you with questions about these things.
Your children should never be afraid to ask you questions. They
should consider you a fountain of wisdom and guidance in every
important matter. Do everything in your power to promote an atmo-
sphere in which they will feel comfortable asking you about anything
that is on their mind. Avoid at all costs making them feel like their
questions are unimportant or “stupid.”
At age eight, my father began what became the regular habit
throughout my childhood of having “man-to-man” talks with me.
Many of these discussions took place during long walks—five to
ten miles—down country roads with our German Shepherd running
alongside. But he would also occasionally sit me down to ask what
questions were on my mind. It helped that he used the phrase “man-to-
man,” because it told me that I was not just a “dumb kid” in his eyes,
and made me feel that I could ask him anything. I can still remember
specifics of these discussions, over 50 years later.
How sad that so many children today find it easier to go to the
Internet for “answers” to questions because they cannot or will not go
to their parents. This should simply never be (unless done under the
guidance of a parent who may have instructed them to do it).
Encourage your children to develop a deep thirst for knowledge.
Teach them to be inquisitive—to be fascinated with life—to seek to
be “millionaires” in knowledge and understanding. Explain to them
that they should always look to God’s Word as the ultimate source of
true wisdom, knowledge and understanding. Teach them to look into
the book of Proverbs for answers to questions that they have, and for
solutions to problems they are facing. (Few recognize that up to 20
percent of corporate Chief Executive Officers in the United States read
this book of the Bible for wisdom.)
Appearance Is Vital
In a world increasingly given to ridiculous, garish and endless forms of

outlandish dress, your children will want to fit in. They will be under
tremendous pressure to look like everybody else. This puts parents
in a very difficult position. They must decide whether to: Teach their
children the importance of modesty and moderation, and do not permit
them to always follow trends (which is also very expensive and time-
consuming), or cave to the peer pressure of modern youth influencing
their children to become—and, in this case, look like—virtually all the
things that God teaches against.
It is important to carefully instruct your children about all aspects
of proper dress. Explain to them why they should not dress in a
sloppy or crude fashion—why your daughters should avoid wearing
indecent or suggestive clothing. Teach them to wear the appropriate
clothes for the right occasion (for example, to make the point, not
wearing jeans to a wedding or bib overalls to Church services). But
make this interesting and fun, not drudgery—teach them to color-
coordinate and to take satisfaction in knowing how to reflect quality.
Teach your children to comb their hair and to maintain presentable
hairstyles. This means hair that is sufficiently long for girls, and suf-
ficiently short for boys (I Cor. 11:1-15).
This instruction must also include why they should never get a tat-
too. Notice Leviticus 19:28: “You shall not make any cuttings in your
flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.”
Those who have become role models of every kind throughout society
today seem to be almost covered in every kind of bizarre, perverse,
sexually suggestive, and even outright satanic, tattoo that a “creative”
mind (at a tattoo parlor) cut off from God could dream up.
Explain to boys why earrings should not be worn by men, but why
they can be a beautiful adornment on a woman. God’s Word mentions
earrings worn by men in several places, but they all involve His ser-
vants telling people to remove them. See Genesis 35:4, Exodus 35:22,
Numbers 31:50 and Judges 8:24-26.
Teach your children that first impressions count in life—and that
this is directly connected to appearance. The way a person looks and
dresses carries far more weight to the important, older people who are
watching them than young people today any longer recognize. Be sure
that your children are an exception to today’s thinking.
Teach Your Children to Practice the

Basic Laws of Health and Good Nutrition
The nations of the West have been described as overfed and under-
nourished (and the rest of the world is fast catching up). Further,
because so many children are addicted to junk food and live a couch
potato existence, vast numbers are overweight and physically weak.
Most eat too few fruits, vegetables and grains, and believe that drink-
ing carbonated soda is just as good as a glass of water. An emphasis on
fat, sugar, fast foods and many other foods devoid of nutritional value
define the diet of millions today. On top of all this, most are getting
far less exercise than they should. Astonishingly, various studies now
reveal that children are showing signs of hardening of the arteries as
early as age seven.
The role of parents in their children’s health is often overlooked.
Like instilling a desire to learn, you must also instill the knowledge
of how—and what—to eat. No matter what excuses may be put forth,
your children’s health is your responsibility. You control what they
eat and, in turn, you largely control their health!
Think very carefully about what you feed your children. Do you
follow the principle of staying on the outside aisles of the supermar-
ket—raw fruits, vegetables, meats and grains? Or do you often shop
in the aisles where much of the processed, sugary and unhealthy foods
are generally located?
Explain to your children that many studies have demonstrated that
fruits cleanse, vegetables build, grains sustain, and herbs can heal.
Require them to eat healthy foods. Teach them to love good food.
And, perhaps similar to what my mother did, try to make it fun.
An almost endless array of studies show that large numbers of
children and teenagers simply have no stamina—no physical staying
power to complete the most basic physical tasks and chores. This is
because they are never made—never required!—to do much exercis-
ing beyond the bare minimum at school, and a growing number of
schools are neglecting this vital part of well-rounded development.
Many today are allowed to give up too quickly when faced with
adversity, when having to sweat a little. Due to safety concerns, great
numbers of parents now feel forced to drive their children to school
even when the walk is just a few blocks and the weather is pleasant.
Gone are the days of my childhood when I often had to walk three
miles home from high school, even in the winter. I walked over a mile
each way to and from grade school!
Too many young people are allowed to sit for hours on end playing
video games, which only stimulate the brain (and not for the better),
and perhaps develop hand-eye coordination, but do very little in the
way of challenging such children to exert themselves. Military leaders
have noted the precipitous decline in strength and stamina observed in
those who are entering the various branches of the service. It has been
noted that, compared to just one generation ago, the condition of 18- to
20-year-olds applying for the service (to enter rigorous basic training)
can only be described as pitiful.
Few parents today require their children to practice the basic laws
of health and nutrition. The result has been disastrous—for all but the
doctors, clinics and hospitals!
Give your children the wonderful gift of good nutrition and proper
stressing of exercise. Be determined: Teach them to eat whatever food
you serve them. Don’t give in! Do not allow your children to deter-
mine their diet, or you can literally curse them to a lifetime of low
energy, sickness, medication(s), hospital waiting rooms, surgeries and
endless visits to the doctor.
For those who are unfamiliar with the important principles about
health revealed in the Bible, we recommend our booklet God’s
Principles of Healthful Living. Although it is a basic guide, it intro-
duces these principles in a thorough, helpful and common-sense way
straight from God’s Word.
Teach Your Children to Think!
We discussed earlier the fact that people once did much more reading
than they do today. As a direct by-product, they were forced to think
about and discuss national and world events. Once more founded on
the value of receiving a good liberal arts education, many started out
in life having received well-rounded educations. Young people were
generally taught to more deeply research, analyze, reason, use the rules
of logic—and to THINK!
But today, people rely on computers and televisions to do much of
their thinking for them. The result has been that millions of children do
not know how to be alone with their thoughts. They must constantly
have music or television blaring in the background, things that once
caused people to express in exasperation, “I can’t hear myself think.”
To a certain degree, this has almost turned around to the point that many
young people now could state, “I can hear myself think!”, and be equally
frustrated. One of the tragedies of this generation is that so many have
no idea what to think about when something is not pre-occupying them.
Get your children in the habit of thinking—analyzing—using
logic—problem-solving! Teach them to think about the cause and
effect of problems, and to find solutions, no matter how elusive,
through the art of either inductive or deductive reasoning. Encourage
them to stretch their minds beyond self-imposed limits. You will find
that they will—and they will find that they can!
Teach your children to meditate about life and what they see in the
world around them—and to consider their own mortality and future
(Psa. 8:3-9). Also, Proverbs 4:26 states, “Ponder the path of your feet,
and let all your ways be established.” Teach your children to carefully
“ponder” and think deeply about what they are doing—where their
decisions are taking them.
If you permit your children to be mindless couch potatoes, you
are literally conditioning them to a lifetime of shortsightedness and
mediocrity. They will never be able to address and overcome hurdles,
obstacles, trials and difficulties, common to every human being.
Facing the smallest barriers will leave them feeling as though they are
at the foot of Mt. Everest.
Do not leave your children feeling helpless as they reach the greater
trials of adulthood!
Chapter Five 91
Teaching About
All-important Character
I f you were told that there is one thing that you can teach your chil-
dren that is spiritual—therefore eternal, indestructible and perfect—
what would you say it is? The answer is character, once referred to
as virtue, the term used in the Bible. Almost no one today values or
even talks about character. Yet, this topic speaks to the supreme pur-
pose for which every human being who has ever lived was born. Sadly,
it is also true that very few have any idea why they exist—why God
gave them life and put them on Earth.
You must come to understand—to deeply grasp—why you exist—
why you are here—or you will never be able to teach this supreme
truth to your children. Once this is clear in your mind, two things will
happen: Not only will you find it easier to teach them, but you will
also be more eager to fulfill this duty!
Think for a moment about all the things that people pursue in
search of success and happiness. Then recognize that not a single one
of these things eternally benefits the person who has them. Literally,
there is not one of them that “you can take with you.”
Perhaps the number one thing that people seek to accumulate in
this life is money. Many people are obsessed with pursuing more of it.
But no matter how much they may have at the end of their life, it will
all get left behind.
Directly related to money is the accumulation of possessions.
Most people are actually more interested in what money buys—the
“toys” it will bring into their life—than in having a certain large
number attached to a bank account. Yet, if the saying is true that
“the goal is to see who can die with the most toys,” then it is equally
true that none of those “toys” can be retained by the person past his
lifetime.
The same is true of power. As with money and possessions, many
are obsessed with acquiring more and more power, and this usually
involves control of additional and bigger companies, and the wealth
they represent, and includes the authority to direct, hire and fire vast
numbers of people. It can also mean achieving political power. But all
of this gets left behind at death as well.
Related to power is fame, which, like money and power, can even
be very fleeting in this life. Yet, when famous people die—and their
fame may be outliving them in the minds of people still alive—it cer-
tainly cannot be taken into the afterlife.
Next would be talents or gifts, and skills. Though related, these are
not the same. All human beings are generally born with talents and gifts
but must develop various skills. In either case, no matter how gifted or
talented the person is or how extensive the skills become, these also get
left behind. No one has figured out how to transport them to the afterlife.
Beauty, youth and strength are three additional pursuits that seem
to drive the lives of countless millions of adults and growing numbers
of children. Finding ways to achieve these things—cosmetic enhance-
ments, botox treatments, workout routines, diets—has become a
worldwide trend and focus. Yet, those who obtain any or all of them
are doomed to see them fade even before death, with no possibility of
taking them past the grave.
The best definition for character I have ever heard comes from
Herbert W. Armstrong, the man who taught me much of what I teach
you now. It is found on page 138 in his extraordinary book The
Incredible Human Potential:
“What is perfect character? It is the ability, in a separate entity
with free moral agency, to come to the knowledge of the right from
the wrong—the true from the false—and to choose the right, and pos-
sess the will to enforce self-discipline to do the right and resist the
wrong.”
It is your responsibility—your DUTY—to teach your children the
absolutely vital, all-important, lifelong pursuit of character devel-
opment. Character forms the greatest defense that a human being can
have against every conceivable pitfall, threat, roadblock and hurdle
that life can throw at him.
While this chapter, or even an entire book on the subject, could
not reveal and explain everything that a parent must know and teach
Teaching About All-important Character 93
regarding character, it covers many of the basics, and these set up the
balance of this chapter.
The Value of Work
What has been called the “basic work ethic”—once a way of life for
whole generations, including most of each generation—has seemingly
gone the way of the horse and buggy. Today’s generation is much more
interested in recreation and pleasure-seeking than in productive work.
Yet, no one has any chance of achieving happiness, success, or any of
the basic necessities of life—food, clothing, shelter and certain other
possessions—without learning at the deepest level that work, and
sometimes hard work, is intrinsic to life.
By having to set goals—and working to achieve them—children
will develop a proper work ethic and confidence.
Teach your children the lesson of Proverbs 14:23—that hard
work equals production, and is directly connected to achieving
success: “In all labor there is profit: but the talk of the lips tends only
to penury [NKJV: poverty].”
Also carefully explain to them Proverbs 10:4-5: “He becomes poor
that deals with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent makes rich.
He who gathers in summer is a wise son: but he who sleeps in harvest
is a son that causes shame.” Stress this principle often, and the many
scriptures that support it, taking the time to carefully study them with
your children, so that they are deeply internalized. Then gently remind
them of this principle when they forget it.
These proverbs were written thousands of years ago. Human nature
has not changed since then. Every human being will still periodically
be tempted to want something for nothing, and this can include being
potential victims of scam artists and “get-rich-quick” schemes. Many
today expect to be given things for free—and in this age, it is as though
handouts have become a “right.”
For example, third and fourth generations of families that have
grown accustomed to receiving welfare benefits typically develop an
“I deserve it” attitude. Whenever there is public discussion of govern-
ment cutbacks, many act as though welfare belonged to them in the
first place. Millions have forgotten that these benefits, deceptively
labeled “entitlement programs,” are actually a gift—and that they were
never available on a national basis until just a few decades ago. Your
children must understand and remember that there is no such thing as
“a free lunch,” and that one must work to achieve or obtain everything
he needs.
On the other hand, people who work long, hard hours appreciate
what their effort produces: steady paychecks, paid bills, a comfortable
home and having at least all the other necessities of life.
Ingrain in your children the fact that there is no such thing as get-
ting “something for nothing.” Routinely give them chores and respon-
sibilities. Then, again, check their progress. Vast numbers of children
today are not given regular chores, and fewer still are required to actu-
ally do whatever minimal tasks they may be given. Tie all or part of
their allowance directly to their chores.
Teach them to be self-motivated—to take on jobs and responsibili-
ties without being told. Initiative is a quality that is increasingly disap-
pearing among the modern workforce. Most habitually do as little as
possible, or just enough to get by, and then resent those who want to go
above and beyond. Tell your children they could face this resentment.
Teach your children the example of the ant, contrasted to the sloth-
ful—the lazy: “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider her ways, and be
wise: which having no guide, overseer, or ruler, provides her meat in
the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest. How long will you
sleep, O sluggard? When will you arise out of your sleep? Yet a little
sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: so shall
your poverty come as one that travels, and your want as an armed
man” (Prov. 6:6-11).
Instruct your children about why they can enjoy hard work! They
will thank you for it later. If done correctly, your children will learn to
feel guilty if they are not being regularly productive at every job, task,
assignment, chore and duty.
Teach the Importance of Wise Decision-Making
Your children will literally make thousands of decisions throughout

the course of their lives. Some will be small, others medium-sized,
still others large, and some enormously important, and literally tow-
ering over other decisions they will make—for example, whom they
marry, when and how many children to have, changing careers, buy-
ing a home, and, most important, the decision to pursue baptism and
conversion.
How can a generation that knows no limits, sees no boundaries and
yields to no rules of ethics be expected to make right, moral judgments?
Solomon was inspired to record, “a wise man’s heart discerns both
time and judgment” (Ecc. 8:5). Put another way, this verse states that,
in every situation, a person must know both what to do and when to
do it.
This verse introduces several categories of people. Consider: Some
people do not know either what to do or when to do it. Others know
what to do, but not when they should do it. Some others know when
something must be done, but do not know what it may be. Then there
are those who know what to do and when to do it, but do not have
the strength to follow through and carry it out. The final category of
people is the same as the last one except that they do follow through
on their decision.
Wise parents teach their children how to be a part of the fifth cat-
egory described here. Here are some points to instill into your children
regarding decision-making:
(1) Be sure that they understand the importance of getting all the
facts in a matter before making a decision. This process cannot be
rushed and your children must be patient in carrying it out (Prov.
15:28; 18:13).
(2) Explain the Bible teaching that a wide variety of counsel brings
“safety,” “peace,” “wisdom,” and “purposes that are established”
(Prov. 11:14; 12:20; 12:15; 15:22).
(3) Teach your children to establish priorities. This means helping
them learn the difference between wants and needs, explained later in
the book.
(4) The all-important final point is to teach your children to be
certain that they are seeking God’s Will in the matter—and in all mat-
ters. They must understand that everything else, done correctly in the
process, is of little use if they are not asking for God’s guidance.
Tragically, millions of people have absolutely no idea how to
make right decisions. Unable to break the cycle of making wrong
decisions, the result becomes an entire lifetime of bouncing from one
calamitous mistake to another.
You hold the power to protect your children from this pattern!
Teach Your Children Respect for All Authority
Let’s momentarily return to something previously discussed. Recall

that the Fifth Commandment declares, “Honor your father and your
mother: that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord
your God gives you” (Ex. 20:12). When its intent is properly under-
stood, with parents as the all-important starting point, this command
extends broadly to respecting every form of authority—grandparents,
teachers, police officers, coaches and others.
If you teach your children to respect and obey you, you are teach-
ing them to develop a similar relationship with God. As a parent, you
must understand that, to your children, you play this vital role. In the
early years, you represent the most that they can understand about the
power of God.
When you teach your children—when you correct them—when
you encourage them—when you inspire them—you are creating a
basis on which they will respond to their Divine Parent later, when
they are called.
Teach your children to never show disrespect, belligerence or
rebellion, hostility or defiance to authority. The apostle Peter wrote
of conditions on Earth prior to Christ’s Return: “But chiefly them that
walk after the flesh in the lust of uncleanness, and despise govern-
ment. Presumptuous are they, selfwilled, they are not afraid to speak
evil of dignities” (II Pet. 2:10).
The modern age could easily be called the age of disrespect and
rebellion. Make no mistake. Your children are surrounded by these
influences and could easily be overwhelmed by them if they are not
carefully prepared to resist them.
Never forget that if you do not respect authority—and this will be
readily apparent to your children—why should they? If you do not,
they will not.
In addition, thoroughly instill into your children’s thinking a
respect for, and obedience to, all of man’s laws when they do not con-
flict with the laws of God (Acts 5:29; Titus 3:1).
Train Your Children to Listen and Be Quiet
Train your children in the difference between hearing and listening.

This will help them to perform better in school, to correctly follow
instructions, to be a better friend—and, in the future, to be a better
husband or wife, and a better father or mother.
The apostle James wrote, “…let every man be swift to hear, slow
to speak, slow to wrath” (1:19). A quick look at news talk shows pro-
vides ample proof—every night!—that the world does not heed this
passage. Also, reporters are trained to speak in “sound bites” because
most people do not care about the details and only want to hear in
“sound bites.”
Therefore, you must actively teach your children to listen carefully.
And you must show them how, and this means learning not to inter-
rupt when someone else is speaking. When you give them instructions,
sometimes make them repeat what you said. If they cannot remember,
make them sit and wait for you to repeat it again at your convenience.
You will be surprised how much better listeners they become.
Proverbs 23:22 states, “Hearken unto your father that begot you,
and despise not your mother when she is old.” In the family, fathers
and mothers hold offices that require—should demand—respect!
Children must learn to respect their parents—and listen to them.
Romans 8:7 reveals that this is far from automatic—that it must be
learned. The office of “parent” is one of the highest offices in your
children’s life—one that they must deeply respect, for their own good.
So declares the Fifth Commandment.
However, you cannot expect them to do this if you are never will-
ing to listen to them. Many parents continually “put off” their children,
treating them as though they are inconveniences in the way of more
important things. Incredibly, only 16 percent of people even believe
that children are important to marriage.
You have no doubt heard it said that “God gives us two ears but
only one mouth for a reason.” This is important for both parents and
children to understand. If you expect your children to listen to you,
then you must listen to them. Of course, this comes with limits you
must discern.
Above all, teach your children that life actually requires them to
listen—that it is essential for success in every endeavor, small and
large. Their future college education and careers will depend on devel-
oping this quality!
Ingrain into Your Children to Never Violate Trust
Teach your children that if they want to be trusted, they must always
be worthy of the trust they receive. If you do this correctly, present and
future friends will be comfortable opening up and confiding in them.
Others will be willing to share their personal dreams and aspirations
(as well as their problems and worries) with your children once they
become adults. This will put them in a position to be able to help more
people through life.
Teach your children that future employers may need to share highly
sensitive information with them. One cannot demand trust from oth-
ers—your children need to understand that they must be worthy of
having such important confidence extended to them. Also explain that
they cannot expect others to keep certain things confidential if they do
not do the same.
All of this means teaching them that they must learn never to gos-
sip. Teach them God hates this practice. Notice just a few scriptures:
“You shall not go up and down as a talebearer among your peo-
ple…” (Lev. 19:16).
“But unto the wicked God says, What have you to do to declare
My statutes, or that you should take My covenant in your mouth?…
You give your mouth to evil, and your tongue frames deceit. You sit
and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother’s son”
(Psa. 50:16-20).
“A talebearer reveals secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit con-
ceals the matter” (Prov. 11:13).
“The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into
the innermost parts of the belly” (18:8).
“He that goes about as a talebearer reveal secrets: therefore meddle
[associate] not with him that flatters with his lips” (20:19).
Those of the World War II generation will never forget the motto:
“Loose lips sink ships.” This is true in a great many ways. (However,
teach your children that there are exceptions, such as if a crime or sin
is involved, or if someone will be hurt if action is not taken.)
All children must learn to keep things confidential—to never
betray the trust of another human being, particularly after they have
given their word. Your children must understand that their word has to
mean something—that “their word is their bond.” No one carries this
quality innately from the womb. Of course, some children are more
naturally given to gossip or to revealing secrets, while others seem
more naturally able to keep sensitive matters to themselves. Determine
which category your children fall into and nurture them to see what is
at stake if they do not learn the all-important quality of trustworthiness
in every regard.
Train Your Children to Never Lie or Steal
The world is filled with people who habitually steal, and who seem
to lie about almost everything. (For instance, it has been revealed that
80 percent of all students now cheat in school.) Keeping your children
from joining their ranks is an increasingly difficult task.
Now notice God’s view of lying: “These six things does the Lord
hate: yes, seven are an abomination unto Him: a proud look, a lying
tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, an heart that devises
wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false
witness that speaks lies, and he that sows discord among brethren”
(Prov. 6:16-19).
Every child is born with carnal human nature. Inevitably, this
nature will lead the child to consider lying, stealing or other forms
of deception. Parents must teach their children—from their earliest
years—that these are very serious offenses. If you fail to do this, at
best, your children will be dishonest, and, at worst—and this is grow-
ing more common in the modern age—you could literally be sentenc-
ing them to a life of crime!
On rare occasion, find ways to reward your children for telling the
truth. Periodically, when they admit an offense—when they tell the
truth under duress—refrain from disciplining them, and tell them why.
This will serve to teach them not to lie, to instill in them that it was
the truth that protected them. And be sure to remind them of this point
at key opportunities so that it will become automatic when they are
“under the gun” and tempted to lie.
This principle also applies in the following way: If, when con-
fronted with his wrong behavior, your child is willing to admit that he
is guilty—no matter how serious the infraction—consider rewarding
him for telling the truth. Continue this until the habit is ingrained. This
means still admonishing the child to do better, but, from time to time,
it means not punishing the child because he or she was willing to “fess
up” under examination. Again, your child must come to directly con-
nect the fact that the truth protects him or her instead of the other way
around, as most suppose.
However, when your children do lie or steal, punish them imme-
diately, sometimes including long-term consequences so they never
forget that lying is one of the worst offenses one can commit, and that
stealing is also a form of deception. Conversely from the above, this
serves to teach them that lies endanger them—and you must connect
this in their thinking. Talk with them about how lying will invariably
get them into worse trouble, potentially destroying their reputations
entirely, if they do not avoid it at all costs.
Instill Morality
In the United States, half of all wives and two-thirds of all husbands
now commit adultery. This means that an astonishing almost five out
of six marriages have at least one adulterous partner.
Referenced earlier, the growing phenomenon of middle school
oral sex parties has taken root because so many children have come
to believe—following the thinking of a former American leader—that
“it’s not really sex”!
Some time ago, a television news program conducted an experi-
ment. In various countries around the world, wallets containing
money and identification were strategically placed on local streets
for strangers to find. As news crews secretly taped them, most people
who picked up the wallets kept the money. In fact, one woman crossed
herself, as a sign of religious devotion, then counted the money and
stuffed it into her pockets!
Such is the modern age in which your children are growing up!
Never assume that your children will automatically be moral—will
automatically do the right thing when confronted with important deci-
sions. You must teach them to be moral! Just as you must rely on God
to teach you right from wrong, your children are unconsciously relying
on you to teach them right from wrong.
Vast numbers of children no longer have any idea what ethics, integ-
rity and morality mean. Nor do they comprehend the most fundamental
basics of right and wrong, good and evil, and law and crime, let alone
what sin is. Clarify these critical differences to them at every turn. Teach
your children to always do the right thing, even when no one else is
watching. If you have been properly teaching them that God sees every-
thing that they do, this will be much easier for them to understand.
Instill Why Sex Belongs Only in Marriage
The modern world has become drenched in every conceivable kind of

fornication and sexual activity. This quickly, and often immediately,
seems to become part of the interaction between boys and girls—and
is seemingly starting at a younger and younger age.
God designed sexual intercourse to be the “glue” that binds a hus-
band and wife together. However, because of a lack of sexual fulfill-
ment in vast numbers of marriages, many couples conclude that they
should “test” each other before marriage, thinking this will help them
avoid a sexually troubled marriage.
Never permit intimacy to enter any of your child’s relationships
prior to marriage. Recognize that the world is waiting to ambush your
children! You will have to watch like the proverbial “hawk” to head off
your child’s natural tendency to move in this direction.
Part of this training is preparing your children long in advance for
the time that they will begin to date those of the opposite sex. It is
crucial that dating not occur too soon, before your children are emo-
tionally, mentally or morally equipped to know what dating means—
and for what purposes they should do this. (All parents who hope to
one day see their children fulfilled in a wonderful, happy, spiritually
compatible marriage are encouraged to carefully study and to teach
your children to apply the principles in my extensive book Dating and
Courtship – God’s Way. Nothing like it has ever been written. It is
filled with helpful principles and truths that will guide you in how to
properly guide your children.)
Just consider what has become the never-ending stream of televi-
sion and newspaper ads offering sexual “boosters” and other products
in a way that could not have been dreamed of even a few years ago.
And then there are the beer commercials…
So much of television has become utterly vulgar and sex-obsessed
to the point that it is difficult, if not almost impossible, to find pro-
gramming that does not bombard your children with messages that are
a challenge for the godly young person to resist when seemingly no
one around him is doing the same. The dark pressures on your children
to move them away from right values and morals—and directly away
from God’s perfect spiritual Law!—are beyond any level of intensity
that the world has ever seen. Recognize that what you faced was prac-
tically “child’s play” by comparison.
There is an unseen but critical aspect of fornication that almost
none understand. The Bible states that this sin is unique, producing
a special kind of emotional and psychological “scarring” that is
very difficult to leave behind. Here is how Paul put it: “Flee for-
nication. Every sin that a man does is without [outside] the body;
but he that commits fornication sins against his own body” (I Cor.
6:18).
Fornication impacts both the body and the mind in a way that no
other sin can, and it does this in two distinct ways:
First, those who engage in it will create memories of the kind of
intimacy that should only bring one face to mind—his or her mate.
Second, those who fornicate but then go on to marry each other
often find it impossible, consciously or unconsciously, to separate pre-
vious guilt from the sexual relations that, after marriage, are no longer
sin. They have forever intermingled—mixed—something that God
said is good (Gen. 1:27, 31) with something that was bad.
Teach your children to keep lust out of all relationships—and to
flee all forms of fornication! Teach them that not saving themselves
for marriage is theft—that they are stealing from their future mates.
Also, again, they are sinning against their own bodies.
In the past, both men and women wanted, and expected, to marry
virgins. But today, people have come to expect to marry people who
may have had countless sex partners.
Yet, God’s Word is very plain about sexual permissiveness. This is
made clear in many passages. Notice this from the Song of Solomon:
“We have a little sister, and she has no breasts: what shall we do for
our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for? If she be a wall,
we will build upon her a palace of silver: and if she be a door, we will
enclose her with boards of cedar” (8:8-9).
Parents, teach your daughters that they can be either: (1) a “door”
(having multiple sex partners and demeaning themselves), or (2) a
“wall” (chaste, immoveable, pure in marriage). While this particular
principle is not directly applicable to sons, the overall principle cer-
tainly includes them.
Teach your children that marriage—and this includes sex in mar-
riage—is wonderful. But they must realize that marriage is the ONLY
PLACE in which sex belongs!
The two previous sections lead directly to one of the greatest chal-
lenges that you will face.
Warn About the Dangers of Gambling, Drugs and Alcohol
Directly related to the subject of sex outside marriage, and avoiding it

as part of instilling morality into one’s character, are the absolute perils
of slipping into other dangerous vices.
In the first chapter, significant space was given to the subjects of
drinking, drugs, gambling and attending the wrong kinds of parties.
Of course, all of these things are linked, and by now that should be
well understood for the potentially grave danger that they pose to your
children. Teaching your children to be aware of each of these things,
and of all of the related pitfalls, traps and other “sinkholes” waiting
to snare or swallow them, is of paramount importance in your overall
strategy to navigate your children safely to adulthood.
People would only swim with man-eating sharks if they had no
idea the danger of such sharks. Your children must be educated to the
seriousness—the grave danger—of dabbling in things that can almost
immediately put them in over their head, or even take their lives.
But you cannot educate your children to that about which you have
not educated yourself. Your strategy to help them includes learning as
much as you can about what leads children into these devastating evils
that can destroy them before they knew what hit them. (The final chap-
ter will offer some very helpful additional tools that we have prepared
to help you in this regard.)
These dangers are most real to your children. Many families are
forced to endure their unexpected death and injury, and are so unneces-
sarily left to grieve over lost or ruined lives.
Twice for emphasis, the Proverbs state, “A prudent man foresees
the evil, and hides himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished”
(22:3; 27:12). Be sure that you are continually looking ahead—
“foreseeing” influences that could suddenly appear in your children’s
path, so that neither you nor they wind up “punished.”
Coach Your Children to Be Strong

and to Control Their Emotions and Desires
Again, because people are weaker in character than ever before in

history, this age could perhaps best be described as “the age of weak-
ness.” With this in mind, upon close examination, when observing
people, it is amazing to see how little mental strength most now pos-
sess. Woe to those who cut people off in traffic—who take their park-
ing space—who do not talk to them with sufficient “respect”—who, in
some perceived fashion, “violate their rights” or “get into their space.”
Few people are taught any longer to curb their feelings. Most have
come to believe that they should “express themselves” and that it is
more healthy to “vent,” to release bad feelings trapped inside.
This is ridiculous, and contrary to the way generations before them
viewed life.
Consider Proverbs 16:32: “He that is slow to anger is better than
the mighty; and he that rules his spirit than he that takes a city.”
In ancient times, it was extremely difficult for an army to besiege
and conquer a walled city. That is why God had to personally bring
Jericho’s walls down (Josh. 6).
Likewise, it is hard to control one’s emotions, especially under
times of duress—and strength must be developed to do this success-
fully. Remember, a Christian is one who strives to always control his
feelings, impulses, appetites and emotions. This is inseparable from
learning and developing the character of God—the purpose for which
you and your children were born.
Never permit your children to scream or throw tantrums—and
some parents witness and endure this in an endless cycle—either in
public or at home. Wild, raging, out-of-control children will, at best,
grow up to be emotionally immature and unstable. At worst, they
could harm themselves and/or others.
Again, psychologists once coined the term “terrible twos” to reduce
what are often wild, out-of-control tantrums into a mere “phase” of
child development. However, for most, the problem does continue as
the “terrible threes,” followed by the “terrible fours,” “terrible fives,”
and so forth. Anyone who has been behind someone with a child of
these ages in a supermarket or in a bank teller line knows that this is
no exaggeration.
But there is another unseen peril for those who open their minds
and allow the “walls” surrounding them to collapse. Such children
are open to dangerous spiritual influences—evil spirits looking for
an opening wherever they can find it. God’s Word reveals that fallen
angels, called demons, can sometimes enter people from childhood
and remain into adulthood. (Take a moment to read the account in
Mark 9:14-21.)
Teach your children to control their emotions and desires—not to
be ruled by them. Self-control builds mental “walls” that will protect
your children’s lives in all situations. Notice: “He that has no rule over
his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls”
(Prov. 25:28). Without the walls of self-control, children are defense-
less against carnal appetites and desires.
Teach them to properly handle things, and not to “go to pieces”
whenever they cannot get their way—to remember that “if you faint in
the day of adversity, your strength is small” (Prov. 24:10).
Here is a related point, having mostly to do with physical strength,
but directly connected to mental strength as well. Fathers (and moth-
ers can assist in this), teach your sons the forgotten principle that “the
glory of young men is their strength” (Prov. 20:29). So many young
boys today are either pencil-thin or overweight, evidencing an almost
total lack of exercise. But increasing numbers are also going to another
wrong extreme to build muscles—taking steroids! Of course, both
problems are evident in many girls today as well.
It has become practically a hallmark of this generation that very
few boys are made to do heavy physical chores, such as cutting and
carrying firewood, digging ditches, shoveling the snow off a long
driveway, or the many kinds of chores done on a farm in past gen-
erations, such as helping to bale hay or feed and milk cows. Strive
to find as many ways as possible for your children to do physical
labor around the home, inside and out. These strengthen both body
and mind.
Hard times ARE coming. We are living in “perilous times” (II Tim.
3:1-4), an age of lust, greed and out-of-control appetites. The Great
Tribulation and the Day of the Lord will strike man when he is at his
weakest—morally and spiritually.
Teach your children to be physically, mentally, morally and spiritu-
ally strong! This will help them survive all that Bible prophecy fore-
tells is just ahead for all nations in this age. In other words, you could
literally be saving their life!
Educate in the Use and Appreciation of Good Manners
The vast majority of young people today are completely ignorant of

what were once commonly referred to as “the social graces.” Even
just the knowledge of receiving an extensive education in these skills
has largely become lost to an entire generation. Gone is the time when
people understood that manners mattered.
Even a cursory glance at the public conduct of most young people
today demonstrates how most are sorely lacking in the areas of dig-
nity, propriety, decorum and related areas of conduct. Many are rude,
and even outright coarse and crude when it comes to manners and
etiquette—and this is true in almost every one of the social graces.
Just watching young people eat today can be a painful experience, a
veritable assault on the senses. (It is only barely an exaggeration to
state that many young people and teenagers today slump over and eat
like hogs slopping at a trough!)
The social graces represent—and reflect—a specific applica-
tion of God’s law of love. They are based on giving others respect
and high regard. The Bible teaches that “love…does not behave
itself unseemly” (I Cor. 13:4-5). Try to make it your child’s goal to
“esteem others better than [myself]” (Phil. 2:3), giving to others,
making them feel uplifted and special. In life, little things mean a
lot.
Good manners and conduct must begin in the home, and this means
beginning with your example and your teaching. Instruct your children
to strive to be gentlemen or ladies—and that this is what God wants
them to be. Teach them to ignore those who feel that such conduct is
“lost in the past.” Recall that the Bible declares, “Be not deceived: evil
communications [companions] corrupt good manners” (I Cor. 15:33).
Even though this verse now applies to the vast majority in this age,
it also has direct application in regard to those with whom you allow
your children to associate.
Instruct your children to hold the door for adults and girls. Teach
them how to shake hands, to rise when adults enter the room, to “be
seen and not heard,” to look people in the eye when addressing them,
and all aspects of proper table manners. Such instruction includes
proper etiquette and all of the differences between good and bad man-
ners. Your children must understand that they too can be ambassadors
for God’s Way of Life (II Cor. 5:20).
Instruct in the Seven Laws of Success
All people want to be considered successful—and to, in fact, be suc-

cessful. Your children are no different. Yet, most people have no idea
how to achieve success. And they are not sure how to recognize suc-
cess if they see it—either in themselves or others. Supposed “higher”
education has never taught true success. Nor have most understood
that there are basic, specific laws that must be employed to reach
success.
Just what is success? So many people seek it, having never defined
it. As a result, very few ever achieve true success. And most never
actually sit down and try to analyze the reasons for their failure. Most
are generally capable of recognizing that they have failed—but they
cannot explain why! It is your job as a parent to be sure that this does
not happen to your children.
Though some might feel that they are destined to fail, this is never
true. But circumstances in today’s world could easily cause your
children to acquire this thinking. They must understand that men and
women of all ages can achieve success. But they must be schooled in
and practice the right formula—and only after they understand exactly
what they are trying to achieve!
Do you want your children to become happy, productive adults?
Then thoroughly teach them the laws to success:
(1) have the right goal. This includes understanding your
strengths and weaknesses, knowing where you excel and where you
fall short. Plenty of potential architects, engineers, accountants, etc.,
wind up in the wrong profession, the proverbial “square peg in a round
hole.” Even worse, there are some who have no belief in their potential
and sit on their talents—all because they lack vision!
(2) obtain the right education. It should be well-rounded and
balanced. Too many people limit themselves by over-specializing.
(3) maintain good health. This includes one’s physical, emo-
tional, mental and spiritual well-being.
(4) practice drive. Be zealous and enthusiastic, and maintain a
“can do” attitude.
(5) be resourceful. Think “outside the box”—know how to solve
problems. Being resourceful in problem-solving could be compared to
figuring out what to do when locked out of the house: If you cannot
get through the front door, enter through the back door. If that way is
locked, go through the window. If that does not work, come through
the basement. Or try the roof…or the chimney. In other words, find a
way!
(6) persevere. Never give up or give in to doubts. Stick to your
goals like a pit bull gripping a bone!
(7) seek god first. Put Him at the center of your life. This includes
obeying the other six laws god’s way—not your own.
(To better understand and teach these principles, read our booklet
The Laws to Success.)
The Most Important Teaching
The seventh law of success introduces the most important aspect of

your children’s education. Therefore, it opens up a wide array of ele-
ments of proper childrearing that are very different in nature than the
things discussed in previous chapters.
Children initially learn about God from their parents. Parents are in
a unique and extraordinary position because they are the ones who lay
the foundation of their child’s future relationship with God. As with
other points, parents must be properly educated in what God expects
them to teach their children to do and what He expects them to teach
their children not to do!
Chapter Six 109
Teaching About
God, His Word
and Christianity
B y now you realize there are many vital principles, lessons,

character and personality traits you must teach your children to
understand and develop. All are essential. However, the most impor-
tant things you will teach them are those pertaining to God and their
future calling as Christians. Remember, your role as steward over your
children is temporary. The goal is to deliver your young adult children
to God’s doorstep, fully prepared for Him to bring them to conversion.
This means that there are many additional, more spiritually-oriented—
and some entirely spiritually-based—elements of your children’s train-
ing that must receive your special attention!
This chapter focuses on the vital dimension of your child’s spiritual
development, with the understanding that the ultimate goal of every
human parent is to see their children enter the Kingdom of God as
very members of the God Family! In a sense, everything that you teach
your children must be continually brought back to this all-important
goal. This must be your constant focus, and you must strive to make
it your children’s constant focus.
Teaching about God involves a variety of vital points of understand-
ing that will create a clear picture in your children’s minds of why they
were born: They must come to comprehend that they have to always
seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, that human beings
are incomplete without the Spirit of God and certain revealed spiritual
knowledge, and that these things are all connected to later coming to
repentance, baptism and conversion. It is of critical importance that you
keep this central focus in the forefront of your children’s minds, particu-
larly as they grow through the teen years. However, you can also make
young minds look forward to this exciting time.
But the Bible is a book of many other true doctrines, and you are
responsible for teaching and re-enforcing every one of them—Who
and what is God?; Who and what is Jesus Christ?; the one true Church
and Body of Christ; the gospel of the Kingdom of God; law, sin and
grace; the government of God; the Sabbath and Holy Days; tithing;
clean and unclean meats; the truth about salvation and the afterlife;
the major points of prophecy; and many, many others. You must also
explain that the world offers a deceptive counterfeit for each one of
these, as well as all of the other teachings of God, no matter how small
or insignificant such teachings may seem.
You also have a responsibility to teach your children that they must
have their heart in the Work of God, and that loyalty to this purpose
is inseparable from their calling. It is good to help them connect even
their tiny amounts of tithes and offerings to this purpose.
Lead Your Children to Seek God First
Grasp this central—and all-important—understanding! As previously

mentioned, you represent God to your children, particularly when they
are young. Just as He provides for you, you provide your children
with food, drink, protection, affection, instruction, guidance and much
more. At some point, this reliance must be transferred to God. Be sure
that they are on the way to understanding that God is infinitely more
important than you—or anyone or anything else!
Explain to your children that God is our Provider, and He will
never forsake them. Jesus taught the following in the context of seek-
ing the Kingdom of God first: “Therefore take no thought, saying,
What shall we eat? Or, What shall we drink? Or, Wherewithal shall
we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek) for
your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. But
seek you first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these
things shall be added unto you” (Matt. 6:31-33).
Teach your children that God will always provide for them as long
as they put Him first!
Actively explain and demonstrate to your children how to study
the Bible, and regularly do this with them. Tell them how important
daily Bible study is—that God’s Word is described as a “lamp” (Psa.
119:105) that will show them how to live, and that it will guide “the
path” of their “feet” toward the Kingdom of God.
Teaching About God, His Word and Christianity 111
Similarly, teach your children how to pray and what to pray about
(helping them develop a list of important subjects that they should be
regularly taking to God). And again, you should be regularly doing this
with them. Explain to them that when they are studying the Bible, God
is speaking to them, and that when they are praying, they are speak-
ing to God—that this is literally a two-way conversation. Teach them
that to seek God through prayer and Bible study is to build a personal
relationship with Him.
Be sure that you are setting a visible pattern for your children
to copy and follow. Let them learn from your example. Again, pray
and study with them. It is also good for them to know that you are
not accessible at certain times because you are privately doing these
things.
Think of this as your overall goal: “That they [your children] may
set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep His
commandments” (Psa. 78:7).
If you do not teach your children to seek the true God first—
through daily prayer and Bible study—they will eventually seek
another “god.” This is best described as their own human will. Notice:
“And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious genera-
tion; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was
not steadfast with God. The children of Ephraim, being armed, and
carrying bows, turned back in the day of battle. They kept not the cov-
enant of God, and refused to walk in His law; and forgot His works,
and His wonders that He had shown them” (vs. 8-11).
Your children do not have God’s Spirit in them, but, if you are
obeying God as a true Christian, the Bible reveals that they do have it
working with them. This is God’s promise (John 14:17; I Cor. 7:14),
coupled with the promise that if they choose to seek Him later as
adults, to the point of coming to repentance and conversion, that Spirit
will come to be in them.
Learning the Truth and Correct Doctrine
As explained, God’s Word contains many truths—many doctrines. The

Bible is not a book containing merely a few teachings, some of which
are important and others of which are more obscure and cannot be
nailed down. God commands, “prove all things; hold fast that which
is good” (I Thes. 5:21). Your children must come to understand that
this also applies to them.
This section is a little longer than some others so that parents grasp
the big picture of the responsibility God places on their shoulders—so
that they see the scope of what God expects their children to believe
when He chooses to call and convert them. By now, you understand
that you can leave your children either ready for this calling, or terribly
deficient in a way that could limit God’s ability to deal with them for
the rest of this age.
Here was God’s commission to the parents in ancient Israel to teach
their children about His Plan, His attributes and His ways: “Give ear, O
My people, to My law; incline your ears to the words of My mouth. I
will open My mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: which
we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide
them from their children, shewing [telling] to the generation to come the
praises of the Lord, and His strength, and His wonderful works that He
has done. For He established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law
in Israel, which He commanded our fathers, that they should make them
known to their children: that the generation to come might know them,
even the children which should be born: who should [subsequently]
arise and declare them to their children” (Psa. 78:1-6).
This passage must become your guide.
Start early, when your children are young, teaching them principles
and lessons through means of Bible stories. While this can be done at
any time in the week, the Sabbath (beginning Friday at sundown and
ending Saturday night at sundown) is an ideal time to do this. Done
wisely, and with some preparation, your children will come to love
these times. They will also look forward to hearing certain stories
repeated as they grow older, with these occasions offering an opportu-
nity to deepen the level at which you teach.
As they grow older, first be sure that your children know the overall
picture of how God is working with mankind. They must know that He
has a 7,000-year Plan to save all human beings, and that the weekly
Sabbath and His annual Holy Days depict this Plan as it unfolds in
sequence.
Related to this, be sure that your children have a grasp of all the
major prophecies to be fulfilled. They must slowly begin to recognize
and comprehend that a terrible time of world trouble is coming. But
they must also know that if the family is faithful, they are promised
protection. (Be sure not to be too graphic in certain areas, telling them
too much too early, before they can handle what they are hearing.) Our
many books and booklets about prophecy—both those that are filled
with hope and wonderful prophecies and those that reflect God’s com-
ing punishment on a rebellious humanity—will help you in this task.
Teach your children about God’s Law, and how the Sabbath is His
test command. They must understand that circumstances will test
their willingness to obey the Fourth Commandment. They must under-
stand that the world is not geared to obeying God, and that sometimes
obedience will be difficult—even very difficult—to do.
Teach your children that Jesus Christ promised to build His Church
(Matt. 16:18)—and that this means there is only one true Church—
only one unified, organized Body of Christ—also called the Temple
of God—where He is leading and guiding. They must also understand
that this is inseparable from the only place where God’s government
is at work. They must realize that this is a Church that will not com-
promise any of the true and proven doctrines of the Bible under any
circumstances.
Ingrain within your children that God sees all that they do. They
must understand that character is often built and displayed when no
one seems to be looking—except God! They should be taught to want
to please God at all times, and that the Bible explains all the ways that
one does this. (Take note that this will be harder to come to believe if
they are never able to please you.)
Explain That They Are Not of the World
Your children must recognize that they are not of the world, its ways,
its values and its customs. If they are learning and following God’s
truth (John 17:17), they are living a very different way of life from
all others around them. Unless you faithfully teach and remind them
otherwise, your children will be naturally inclined to want to copy their
peers instead of setting an example for them. Teach them that they can-
not follow the world’s pagan customs and traditions, no matter how
“innocent” these things might seem.
Praying to God about His disciples just before His crucifixion, Jesus
said, “I pray for them: I pray not for the world, but for them which You
have given Me; for they are Yours…I have given them Your word; and
the world has hated them, because they are not of the world, even as
I am not of the world. I pray not that You should take them out of the
world, but that You should keep them from the evil. They are not of the
world, even as I am not of the world” (John 17:9, 14-16).
The Church of God practices a little-known Bible instruction
referred to as the blessing of children. This practice is mentioned in
three New Testament passages (Matt. 19:13-15; Mark 10:15-16; Luke
18:15-17), each describing Christ’s example of formally laying hands
on little children to ask a special blessing of protection on them while
they are growing up. This very ceremony denotes the difficulty of
bringing children safely through Satan’s world to the age of account-
ability and adulthood. It also reflects how parents need God’s help in
successfully carrying out the supremely important—and extremely
difficult!—task of successfully rearing children. Therefore, the true
Church of God practices the biblical teaching of blessing children (but,
of course, it can only do this for its members).
It was God’s intention that His people never forget all that He had
done for them in helping them escape from Egypt. Notice what He
instructed parents in ancient Israel to do: “And you shall bind them
[the laws of God] for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as
frontlets between your eyes…And when your son asks you in time
to come, saying, What mean the testimonies, and the statutes, and
the judgments, which the Lord our God has commanded you? Then
you shall say unto your son, We were Pharaoh’s bondmen in Egypt;
and the Lord brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand: and
the Lord showed signs and wonders, great and sore, upon Egypt,
upon Pharaoh, and upon all his household, before our eyes: and He
brought us out from there, that He might bring us in, to give us the
land which He swore unto our fathers. And the Lord commanded
us to do all these statutes, to fear the Lord our God, for our good
always, that He might preserve us alive, as it is at this day. And it
shall be our righteousness, if we observe to do all these command-
ments before the Lord our God, as He has commanded us” (Deut.
6:8, 20-25).
Regularly remind your children that God calls His people out of
the world (Rev. 18:4)—out of its ways, traditions and customs. If you
neglect to consistently do this, your children will return to the world
at first opportunity!
Teach Your Children to Be Thankful
It has been said that ingratitude is the greatest sin. Yet, this attitude
has become an integral part of society. It is ingrained in the lives of
most people—even in a time when much of civilization is awash in
material possessions and should feel blessed as never before in history.
Most now have an expectation that they have a kind of intrinsic right
to accumulate more and more money and physical goods, and then
attribute it to their own human ingenuity.
Partly as a result of today’s fast-paced world, most people seem to
have no time for thankfulness. Work, traffic, family, sports involve-
ment, doctor’s appointments, and countless other things are their main
priorities. They seem to have no time to thank others, let alone to thank
God for all that they have.
Never before in history has the world exhibited this awful charac-
teristic as it does today!
Teach your children to be grateful that they are alive, and, once
again, that God created them with an awesome potential that they
must not squander or lose sight of. (To learn more about why you
were born—and what to teach to your children about God’s supreme,
marvelous purpose for all mankind—read my book The Awesome
Potential of Man.)
Teach your children to appreciate what they have: loving parents
who are teaching them God’s Way—warm beds—a home—clothes—
food—their toys—their puppy—their health—and on and on.
Then teach them that millions of children are homeless, starving and
battling disease as a daily way of life. Explain that many others are being
orphaned by circumstances that they themselves will never experience.
If you are living according to God’s standards, then your children
have an extraordinary opportunity that the vast majority of human
beings do not have, and will not have in this age—to be taught by
parents who know, understand and live God’s Way of Life. Continually
remind them of how truly blessed they are, and that they will be pro-
tected from all the horrors that lie ahead for a sinning mankind.
In addition, whenever they suffer setbacks or face obstacles in their
lives—and they will!—teach them to even thank God for adversity.
Help them see that bad times are really opportunities to seek and put
God first. As they see Him act in their lives, delivering them from
difficulties, they will learn to trust Him into and through adulthood.
Explain the Importance of Humility
In most modern societies, psychologists and other so-called “experts”

have been teaching the importance of self-esteem and exalting self
above others—and this has been happening for decades! As a result,
guided by this modern thinking, the seeds of self-importance are
planted and reinforced by unwitting parents in the very earliest years.
These seeds are fertilized and nurtured when children enter the school
system. Even at a very early age, they are given more power than they
can possibly understand. They are taught that what they feel is right
is right!
Modern psychologists, and millions of parents following their lead,
have no concept whatsoever of godly humility, or even of the normal
kind of human humility that so many in previous ages were taught to
exhibit. However, a person has no hope of success in life without true
humility!
How many concern themselves with verses such as the follow-
ing: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory [NKJV: “selfish
ambition or conceit”]; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others
better than themselves” (Phil. 2:3).
Explain to your children that the Earth does not revolve around
them. Instruct them to have “little heads”—not “big” ones.
Consider what Christ taught His disciples about humility: “And
Jesus called a little child unto Him, and set him in the midst of them,
and said, Verily I say unto you, except you be converted, and become
as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.
Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same
is greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:2-4).
Jesus also taught, “And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be
abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted” (23:12). God
can only work through humble minds that seek His will, not their own.
Take note. Shyness, inferiority or lack of confidence is NOT humil-
ity. Real humility is seeing yourself as you truly are—a limited, physi-
cal human being, incapable of achieving or accomplishing anything
of lasting worth without the help of God. In other words, it is the way
God sees you.
Teach your children the sobering example of King Saul. God chose
this man to become the first (human) king of Israel (I Sam. 9:15-17).
At first, Saul responded with humility: “Am not I a Benjamite, of
the smallest of the tribes of Israel? And my family the least of all the
families of the tribe of Benjamin? Wherefore then speak you so to
me?” (vs. 21).
But after some time in office, Saul disobeyed God. He chose to rely
on himself (13:1-14; 15:1-23) and fell into disrespect for God’s gov-
ernment over him (15:24-29). He turned to persecuting God’s servants
(19:1, 9-10; 22:6-19), with his sins then multiplying, to the end that he
killed himself (31:1-4).
Teach your children that pride and arrogance always lead to a bad
end. But humility always reaps benefits. Notice: “Pride goes before
destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall…A man’s pride shall
bring him low: but honor shall uphold the humble in spirit” (Prov.
16:18; 29:23). Then teach your children that “with the lowly is wis-
dom” (Prov. 11:2).
Require Your Children to Admit When They Are Wrong
There was once a time when people almost routinely admitted when
they were wrong or had even made a simple error. This trend has given
way to the tendency for many to shift blame to others. It is astonish-
ing to see how many ways human reasoning seems to have learned to
do this. Some will admit to “mistakes,” “miscalculations,” “indiscre-
tions,” “errors,” “inappropriate behavior,” or even “foolishness”—and
even these admissions are often couched in words like “if I have
offended anybody,” or “if anybody misunderstood what I said”—but
are unwilling to acknowledge their conduct as having been sin or
wrong, regardless of whether or not anyone was offended!
As discussed, people today love to invoke their “rights,” but seem
to hate admitting their wrongs! On the other hand, those who are
mature are willing to accept and take responsibility for their actions.
They admit their faults and strive to change. They are not afraid to
sincerely apologize when they have been wrong.
Former President Harry Truman had a plaque on his desk in the
Oval Office reading, “The Buck Stops Here.” He recognized that as
president, holding the highest office in the land, he was ultimately
responsible when big things went wrong. He was man enough to
admit when he had been wrong, and when the country had possibly
suffered as a result. How different from today. Most simply cannot
any longer say from the heart, “I was wrong. I hurt you and I was
wrong.”
Be sure your children understand that it is “human to err.” But
be sure they also understand that they must learn and grow from
their mistakes. They must recognize that it is not where they are
now that is important, but rather where they are going—what they
are becoming.
Consider the parable of the Pharisee and the publican (Luke 18:9-
14). In this parable, the Pharisee boasted of all the things he had done
or thought he was doing right. But the publican (tax collector) admit-
ted his wrongs. Jesus said that “this man [the publican] went down to
his house justified rather than the other” (vs. 14).
Be sure your children understand that the conduct and attitude of
their peers will be constantly pummeling them, trying to reduce the
seriousness with which they view wrong conduct. Explain that this
bombardment to desensitize them to the difference between plain right
and wrong, and their willingness to admit when they are wrong, will
be unrelenting.
Instruct your children that admitting when they are wrong will
cause them to stand out from all others, and some may copy their good
example. Other people will tend to more easily trust your child’s pres-
ent or future leadership, because they will see the importance that he
or she attaches to doing the right thing!
Educate Your Children to See

There Is a Cause for Every Effect
For every cause there is an effect. While “time and chance” happens
to everyone (Ecc. 9:11), instill in your children that most things hap-
pen for a reason: credit card debt—foolishly marrying the wrong per-
son—problems stemming from associating with the wrong people—
wrecking the car because of drinking, speeding or carelessness—an
unwanted pregnancy, etc.
For example, we discussed how King Saul eventually refused to
obey God. His sins cut him off from God’s protection, guidance and
blessings, ultimately leading him to ask another man to assist him in
ending his life.
By contrast, King David obeyed God. He hungered and thirsted for
God’s commandments—His righteousness (Matt. 5:6; Psa. 119:172).
And though he suffered many trials, God rescued him from them all
(Psa. 34:19). At the conclusion of a long, abundant life, David died
in peace. In the end, God called him a man after His own heart (Acts
13:22). In the future, David will rule over all of the twelve tribes of
Israel (Ezek. 37:21-25).
Teach your children to “connect the dots” in life—that “what goes
around, comes around.” I repeat: Teach them that there is a cause for
every effect. Remember God’s admonition: “Be not deceived; God is
not mocked: for whatsoever a man sows, that shall he also reap” (Gal.
6:7).
Guide Your Children to Hate Sin, But Love the Sinner
In Matthew 5, Christ taught, “You have heard that it has been said, You
shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy. But I say unto you,
Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that
hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute
you” (vs. 43-44).
Teach your children to know how to separate the sin from the sin-
ner. God will eventually give everyone the opportunity to learn His
truth and to enter the Kingdom of God (II Pet. 3:9). Be sure to empha-
size that He does not take pleasure in the downfall of others (Ezek.
18:23, 31-32).
Carefully instruct about and then remind your children of God’s
great mercy, forgiveness, grace and patience. And be sure that they truly
understand this: “And I [Paul] thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has
enabled me, for that He counted me faithful, putting me into the minis-
try; who was before a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious: but I
obtained mercy, because I did it ignorantly in unbelief. And the grace of
our Lord was exceeding abundant with faith and love which is in Christ
Jesus. This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ
Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. Howbeit
for this cause I obtained mercy, that in me first Jesus Christ might show
forth all longsuffering, for a pattern to them which should hereafter
believe on him to life everlasting” (I Tim. 1:12-16).
Teach your children to hate sin—“The fear of the Lord is to hate
evil” (Prov. 8:13)—but to love the sinner.
Successful, balanced, well-adjusted people understand that life is
too short to waste time being bitter, angry and resentful toward those
who offend them. “Rolling with the punches” always produces hap-
pier lives. Teach your children to separate what was done to them from
who did it.
Emphasize Affection, Compassion, Forgiveness and Mercy
Jesus Christ, who never sinned, was unjustly tried, beaten, reviled
and crucified by people who completely misunderstood Him. Further,
Roman soldiers even divided His garments and cast lots for them as
He hung from the stake, awaiting death.
But how did Jesus react toward those who had done Him such
ultimate injury? He asked God, “Father, forgive them; for they know
not what they do” (Luke 23:34). The deacon Stephen, as he was being
stoned to death for pointing out the sins of the religious leaders of his
day, immediately before he died, prayed, “Lord, lay not this sin to their
charge” (Acts 7:60).
Christ’s prayer reveals His compassion and mercy toward carnal-
minded mankind. His perfect example sets the ultimate standard for
true Christian living.
Carefully read the following extraordinary passage, and then
emphasize it throughout your children’s years at home: “For this is
thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suf-
fering wrongfully. For what glory is it, if, when you be buffeted for
your faults, you shall take it patiently? But if, when you do well, and
suffer for it, you take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For
even hereunto were you called: because Christ also suffered for us,
leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: who did no
sin, neither was guile found in His mouth: who, when He was reviled,
reviled not again; when He suffered, He threatened not; but commit-
ted Himself to Him that judges righteously: who His own self bare
our sins in His own body on the tree…” (I Pet. 2:19-24).
God loves mercy. In fact, He “is rich in mercy” (Eph. 2:4). He
expects the same from His servants.
When Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin
against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?” (Matt. 18:21), the
answer was, “I say not unto you, until seven times: but, until seventy
times seven” (vs. 22). In other words, Christians must forgive people
as many times as necessary, as long as the person continues to ask for
forgiveness. Teach your children that such forgiveness will not always
be easy to extend.
Just as you must be compassionate and forgiving toward others,
and not hold grudges, you must teach your children to do the same.
Teach and practice mercy and forgiveness in front of them. This is the
Christian way of life.
The habit of extending mercy will take weight off your children’s
shoulders. They will not go through life burdened with grudges and
leaving enemies in their wake who can eventually become old enemies
waiting for a time to retaliate.
Also teach them that people will occasionally wrong them, some-
times maliciously. But they should not be upset—and some are even
destroyed by offense—when offenders do not apologize.
Instead, teach your children to feel for people (the way Christ did),
and explain to them how to show affection. One way to do this is to
encourage them to talk with the elderly and to be aware of and enjoy
little children. This takes them outside their own world.
Of course, far and away the best manner of teaching affection,
compassion, forgiveness and mercy is by your example. When your
children make mistakes, or sin, be as merciful to them as God is
toward you.
Instill into Your Children the Importance

of Courage and Standing Alone
If you instruct your children in God’s Way, you are automatically

giving them godly values that cannot help but separate them from the
society around them. But your children will be in the tiny minority.
They will probably face some degree of ridicule and derision, includ-
ing some suffering, from their peers.
Be sure they understand that it takes courage to walk in God’s
teachings—to keep the Sabbath and annual Holy Days; to always tell
the truth; to not join the crowd in observing birthdays, Christmas and
other pagan holidays and traditions. (To learn more, read our booklets
God’s Holy Days or Pagan Holidays?, The True Origin of Christmas
and The True Origin of Easter, as well as our many articles on
birthdays, Halloween and the origin of various other well-known
holidays of men. They will help you understand all of the many cus-
toms related to these holidays of which you must make your children
aware. Be sure that your children are thoroughly educated to what
they believe about God’s Holy Days and the world’s holidays—and
why they believe what they do! This will help them explain to teach-
ers and peers why they believe as they do.)
Continually stress to your children what lies ahead of them if they
remain faithful in God’s Way. Remind them of what their reward is
now: the blessings that flow from obedience to God’s laws—and what
can be their reward later: ruling with Jesus Christ and His saints (Isa.
9:6-7; Dan. 7:27).
Require Your Children to

Be Mentally Strong Through Life’s Many Trials
In this age, when things go wrong, so many people’s first reaction is to

simply “go to pieces” and claim that they have been victimized. They
do not know how to be strong when they suffer setbacks, because very
few parents any longer know to teach these things.
Teach your children—and setting the right personal example is a
crucial part of this—not to “lose it,” but rather to “keep their cool,”
when unexpected things derail their plan. Teach them to remember
that “the best laid plans of mice and men” can go awry. Point them
to Ecclesiastes 3: “To everything there is a season, and a time to
every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to
die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a
time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to
build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a
time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones
together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast
away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and
a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and
a time of peace” (vs. 1-8).
Be sure that your children understand that life works in cycles.
Point them to this principle: “In the day of prosperity be joyful, but
in the day of adversity consider…” (Ecc. 7:14). This means that life
involves good times and bad times. In a sense, the bad news is that
when your children are in good times, they need to know that bad
times will follow. But they also must realize the good news: When
they are in bad times, good times will follow. Take time to read what
Solomon said about this in the rest of the passage.
Teach your children that moaning about their problems will not
help or change anything. They need to be strong—because life has
many trials awaiting them. NEVER permit your children to pout or
remain in a wrong attitude! Require them to always practice a positive
approach to everything they do, and this includes not permitting tears
to linger for very long after punishment. Be prepared to tell them,
“That’s enough.”
Inspire Your Children to Confidence
All those who are led by the Holy Spirit (Rom. 8:9, 14) understand that
“God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and
of a sound mind” (II Tim. 1:7).
Children do not select their parents. One of the greatest tragedies
that any child can “inherit” are parents who continually put him down,
who constantly belittle, denigrate and criticize his every action. This
non-stop condemnation and criticism is enough in itself to virtually
cause any but the strongest children to lose all hope of developing a
“can-do” spirit. Help them come to believe they can accomplish what-
ever they want in life.
While the world preaches self-confidence and complete reliance
on self, Christians rely on boldness, righteousness (Prov. 28:1) and the
faith of Jesus Christ (Rev. 14:12). Your children must come to under-
stand this at the very deepest level. Teach them the valuable principle
of Proverbs 14:26-27: “In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence:
and His children shall have a place of refuge. The fear of the Lord is
a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death.”
The vast majority of those who consider themselves Christians have
little more than a hollow, counterfeit fear of God that is taught accord-
ing to what God calls “the precept of men.” Notice God’s description:
“For as much as this people draw near Me with their mouth, and with
their lips do honor Me, but have removed their heart far from Me, and
their fear toward Me is taught by the precept of men” (Isa. 29:13).
Many “religious” people talk about what they suppose is a genu-
ine “fear of God.” This is not the true fear of God, referenced many
places in the Bible, but rather reflects the kind of phony, pseudo-
fear described in this passage. Be sure that you learn the difference
between the right fear of the true God and the wrong fear taught by
the “god of this world” (II Cor. 4:4), and found throughout the many
brands of counterfeit, professing Christianity.
Do not allow your children to be shy or timid. Shyness is a major
obstacle to enjoying an abundant, successful life! Help them overcome
it. Fearing God produces real confidence. When one fears God, he
will obey Him and follow His ways (Prov. 16:6). In turn, God will
protect and guide that person—and your children need to know this. It
brings the certainty that one cannot fail!
Now notice Proverbs 29: “The fear of man brings a snare: but
whoso puts his trust in the Lord shall be safe” (vs. 25).
Instruct your children in the absolutely crucial importance of rely-
ing on God, not on self. (To learn more, you may read our booklet
What Is Real Faith? It will help you understand that true faith is
something far bigger and more important—and very different—than
what you have previously believed.)
Tell your children—and do this regularly—that they will succeed,
that they have every reason to succeed. Nurture them in this belief,
helping them to blossom with positive praise whenever the occasion
requires. But be sure they understand that complete reliance on God is
the most crucial element necessary to achieve true spiritual happi-
ness—and that it is actually “impossible to please God” without faith
(Heb. 11:6).
Explain That Some Things Can

Only Be Learned Through Experience
You are not your children’s only teacher—or their only effective one.
It has been said that, while experience is not the best teacher, it is a
very good teacher!
Look for a moment at the game of chess, or the card game, bridge.
Both are considered relatively easy to learn, but hard to master. Doing
this takes much time, patience and experience!
Like the process of learning to ride a bike or to ice skate, your
children will fall down and will make many mistakes.
Every one of God’s greatest servants learned through his mistakes
and suffering. And God records them in the Bible for us to see this.
Even Christ, who lived a sin-free life, learned through suffering.
Notice: “Though He were a Son, yet learned He obedience by the
things which He suffered” (Heb. 5:8).
Character cannot be built overnight. It takes time, patience, long-
suffering, and a lifetime of experience, some of it very difficult and
painful. Your children must recognize that a certain amount of suffer-
ing is necessary, and they cannot avoid it. But, if they are wise, they
will be able to reduce it to a minimum. Learning from experience can
make all the difference.
Teach your children to make the most of all life’s experiences.
Teach them that “all things work together for good to them that love
God, to them who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
Teach Your Children That

Good Things Come to Those Who Wait
Already described as the “now generation” almost a generation ago,

those of this age have become the most impatient in the history of the
world. Referenced earlier, rarely are people willing to wait very long
for anything—either in the pursuit of goals, until they can make a
desired purchase or anything else.
Yet, Jesus taught, “In your patience possess you your souls [lives]”
(Luke 21:19). This approach—and it applies to everything in life—
flies directly in the face of a world based on instant gratification,
where people want things now.
Carefully explain to your children to always differentiate between
needs and wants. The latter can usually wait and, in some cases, the
passing of time will prove them to have been an unwise purchase
before a mistake is made.
Children must be taught that things of value, and virtually every
goal of any worth, requires time, preparation, education, persistence
and a diligent application of all seven laws of success to have any
hope of reaching success! This will help your children to automati-
cally eliminate some of their wants because they will see that they are
not needs.
The Bible states, “Prepare your work without, and make it fit for
yourself in the field; and afterwards build your house” (Prov. 24:27).
This scripture is actually a reference to getting married (which includes
having a home) more than actually building a house. Be sure you are
guiding your children to plan far enough ahead so they will be able to
establish a “home” at the time they get married—and to have a com-
fortable savings in place before having children.
Teach your children to accept greater responsibilities when asking
for a raise in their allowance. Explain to teenagers the importance of
growing in their work skills before asking their boss for a pay raise
or promotion. Whenever possible, tie these kinds of things together in
their thinking. This will further teach your children to connect cause
and effect throughout their lives.
Do Not Neglect Working with Young Children
Many parents wait longer than they should to begin teaching their
children about God. They assume that small children are not ready
until a point well beyond when they could—and should—have started
teaching their children the basics about God and His Way of Life.
Never forget that children are most impressionable at their young-
est age. Do not let this precious time slip away when it could be
used most profitably to teach your children a host of right things
at a time when they are ready to believe “the moon is made out of
green cheese.” Parents literally hold the power to teach their children
anything they wish, and of course this must never be used for any-
thing but good. Remember, the child who is not taught God’s Way
by his parents will eventually be taught another way by someone
else! Therefore, counter the wrong religious influences in the world
around you by not only programming your young children with the
truth but also programming them to resist practices and ideas that
their friends will be involved in.
Practice playing any number of wonderful Bible games that are
available with your children. This makes learning biblical names,
facts, locations, events and principles fun—and it associates God and
the Way of Life described in His Word with learning, enjoyment and
pleasant feelings.
One of the best games that parents can play is “20 Questions”
about a person, place or thing in the Bible. It is surprising how much
and how fast your children can absorb information about the Bible,
while they are enjoying the process. There are also various Bible
board games that can be helpful, if they are carefully chosen so that
they do not instill ideas from false Christianity into your children. The
creative parent can also devise games of his or her own choosing, and
these can be tailored to the age of the children who are participating.
But all of this takes effort!
Be sure, however, that you are also doing plenty of just plain basic
teaching about the wonderful truths of the Bible. We have already seen
that true Christians are in training to rule with Christ over literal cities
on Earth (Rev. 5:10; Matt. 5:5; Luke 19:11-27, etc.). It is important
that you teach your children that they are also qualifying to be rulers
in the Kingdom of God, under those in the God Family. Your children
need to understand that they can have an exciting, thrilling future—if
they learn what God wants them to understand, and if they faithfully
obey all of His laws and teachings.
One final important point should be mentioned before closing this
chapter.
The Restored Church of God has prepared a vast array of material
for children of all ages, and these are described in more detail in the
last chapter. While of greatest overall importance, this book is only
the beginning of what we offer and, of course, is written to parents,
not children. In the final chapter, we will cover a broad variety of
wonderful tools that The Restored Church of God makes available.
Chapter Seven 127
Building Relationships
W e have covered a host of different things you must teach your

children to give them the hope of leading successful lives.
However, the most important things that your children will do—that
they must learn when young—involve relationships with other people,
and what some would call developing their “people skills.”
Your children will encounter all kinds of people, and they must
know how to co-exist with them. If your children cannot get along
with other human beings, they are doomed to a life of terrible loneli-
ness and misery. Of course, you must first equip yourself with the
basic understanding of how to maintain good human relations, no
matter the circumstances, and no matter how difficult certain people
are. You will then know how to teach and advise them about all the
different kinds of situations in which they could find themselves.
Building Family Relationships
To properly set the stage for all the things you have now learned that
you must teach your children, it is best to start by introducing what
is probably the most critical, overarching understanding of what it
means to be a parent. This point is not actually something you teach
your children, but rather it explains a way of life that presents an
endless number of opportunities to teach them all that they must
learn—and it leads to being able to build good relationships of
almost every kind. This practice will pave the way for your children
to be able to get along with almost anyone, and in the most trying
of circumstances.
There was once a time, and not long ago, when families looked for-
ward to and enjoyed doing things together on a regular basis. Families
and lives were very different from those of today. Before radio, televi-
sion, movies, computers, telephones (and now even sophisticated cell-
phones) and the endless variety of shallow magazines available today,
people had much more time for other things. Activities, recreation
and many kinds of interesting pursuits were enjoyed—and enjoyed
together, as a family. This included learning and playing more board-
games, card games, lawn games and outdoor activities. It also included
picnics, hiking, camping, fishing, sightseeing, and the enjoyment of
the wonders of nature as a family.
Also, families once talked much more around the dinner table, and
usually for long periods of time. This was because people generally
had the patience to eat more slowly (which made digestion of food
better) since the conversation was stimulating. (How many families do
not even eat together anymore, or do so only rarely?)
These kinds of extended conversations were made possible
because people were generally living much more interesting lives,
which meant that they were reading more books—and this served to
keep their fund of knowledge growing and their minds continually
expanding. This made the up-coming prospect of family conversa-
tion (and it applied to all conversations) interesting to the point of
fascinating. Of course, the idea of the whole family just sitting and
reading books, as was also commonly done in the past, seems terri-
bly old-fashioned, and would be much more difficult in the “rat-race
world” of modern society.
Tragically, today, both parents and children, particularly teenagers,
have largely come to see trying to do most of the above family-orient-
ed things as each party intruding on the others’ life and schedule. This
means that parents are losing a vast number of settings and opportuni-
ties to teach their children—and today’s children are paying a terrible
price, making them the biggest losers!
Establish in your mind that you are going to swim as hard as you pos-
sibly can against the current, no matter the price that you must pay to do
it! Think of your children as counting on you—TRUSTING YOU!—to
teach them all the things that they must know, including basic knowledge
of people and human relationships of every kind, to have any hope of
successfully coping with all the unexpected things that life will throw at
them. Ultimately, life is almost entirely about one’s ability or inability
to get along with other human beings. Yet, schools do not offer classes
Building Relationships 129
teaching this vital understanding. The world’s false brand of Christianity
has also failed to truly teach these things.
Of course, your children were born with absolutely no idea of all
that they need to know about people until they are taught—by you!
This means doing many kinds of things together as a family, which
creates a variety of interesting settings that you can use as teaching
tools. The balance of this chapter will address different types of rela-
tionships inside and outside the family.
Parents, Not Peers or Pals
Another point of understanding has to do with a vital distinction in

your role as parent and your offspring’s role as children. Remember
that you are the parent and they are the children. It is not your job to be
merely a “buddy,” “playmate” or “friend.” Many others of their own
age will serve this purpose. Your task is to be their teacher—their
mentor—the first and most important authority figure in their lives.
While this does not mean you remain distant, impersonal, harsh or
one in whom they cannot confide or ask questions as they would to
a friend—because you are some kind of a stodgy, old professor fig-
ure—it does mean that you must never forget that you produced them
instead of the other way around.
The Fifth Commandment—“Honor your father and mother”—was
written to your children and it is to be expressed toward you, not the
other way around. The command is not “parents honor your children”
(of course, you should respect them as independent human beings
made in the image of God). Your children should never lose sight of
the fact that you hold a very high “office” in their world. Remind them
of this when you think they have forgotten it.
While your role is not to be merely “pals” with your children,
remember that without a strong parent-child bond, built on the right
foundation, your children will turn to physical possessions and plea-
sures, sometimes illicit ones, for comfort. They will also have dif-
ficulty forming strong bonds in future relationships, and this includes
both marriage and relationships with their own children.
It should be obvious by now that you can never allow yourself,
under any circumstance, to become an “absentee parent.” While you
have your own life to live, and you must never allow yourself to be a
slave to your child’s every whim, beck and call, you must be present
and accounted for in the fullest sense throughout their lives.
Sadly today, the most “successful” families seem to be those who
wish to turn their children’s youngest years over to a nanny or other
kind of caregiver. This means that such nannies or others who operate
day-care centers often become the ones who see your children speak,
walk or do other things for the first time. How incredibly sad for the
parents who must hear these things in reports from others, when they
could have been there themselves.
Give Your Children Parents Who Are Happily Married
Earlier in the book, you read statistics reflecting what happens when
children are products of divorce. The picture is stark—and ugly.
However, many other children are products of parents who remain
married, but who are miserable, and who make no effort to keep this
from their children.
Another of the greatest gifts you can give your children is to reflect
a picture of complete parental unity mixed with true, radiant happi-
ness. These will be picked up and emulated by little minds, who will
feel secure in the loving arms of two people who not only care about
each other but who will be seen by the children as naturally caring
about them as well.
The earliest nurturing of children is done primarily by the mother.
This means that it is the father’s primary responsibility at the begin-
ning to support her during this period. As the children grow, when
overall leadership of the family becomes vital, it will be more impor-
tant for the mother to somewhat modify her role to support the father’s
lead and decision-making with the children. But it should also be noted
that children who had fathers who were actively involved with them in
the first two months of life seemed to handle stress better when they
arrived at school age.
Clearly visible parental unity will breed family loyalty in the child
who is privileged to witness this increasingly rare commodity in the
home. Also recognize that happy couples are almost invariably the
ones who produce happy children.
Force yourself to always practice and reflect both!
Fathers and Sons
No book bringing God’s perspective to childrearing would be com-

plete without talking about the special bonds between fathers and
mothers with both their sons and daughters.
Much could be said about how little boys look up to their fathers
as virtual heroes in their lives—“My dad can beat up your dad,” “My
dad’s better than your dad,” etc. All men are familiar with these feel-
ings from childhood. The Proverbs state that “the glory of children are
their fathers” (17:6).
Fathers, strive to always be a hero to your son(s). Be sure that he can
always look up to your example. Remember at all times that what your
son is seeing in you is largely what he will become in adulthood. It has
been shown that positive father role models produce sons who are both
generally more sound in thinking and better at overall problem-solving.
An example of strength and maturity displayed by you will reappear
later in your sons.
Recall that Paul wrote, “Fathers provoke not your children to anger
lest they be discouraged” (Col. 3:21), and also “fathers, provoke not
your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).
These passages contain a great deal to consider, and more than can
be fully explained here. However, depending upon the temperament and
strength of your son, you will find that he will respond to provocation,
harshness, abuse or excessive discipline with either “discouragement”
(the weaker or more timid son) or “wrath” (the stronger, more emotional
or more naturally self-willed son). Be careful to practice God’s balance
of “nurturing” (loving instruction) and “admonition” (discipline).
Be sure to set a masculine example for your sons. They are watching
more closely than you realize! Remember, Solomon wrote, “The glory
of young men is their strength” (Prov. 20:29). Reflecting a masculine
example includes demonstrating a certain amount of strength that your
son will want to emulate.
Also, remember to treat older and younger sons in the same fashion.
Do not let yourself be like the patriarch Isaac, who favored his son Esau,
while his wife Rebekah favored Jacob. This resulted in unnecessary rivalry
and bitterness between these brothers. This single episode, recorded in the
book of Genesis, ultimately had a profound impact on the entire course
of human history. Making the same mistake with your children will have
no less effect, if only in the lives of your sons. Fathers (and mothers), be
careful of unconsciously building a rivalry between sons. You could be
sentencing them to a spirit of competition that will last a lifetime.
Be careful, however, that you also do not ever show favoritism to
sons above daughters.
Fathers and Daughters
Many studies have demonstrated the enormous importance of building

and maintaining a good father-daughter relationship—and there are
many reasons for this.
Will Your Son Become Effeminate?

We have seen that modern television has become a powerful tool
that can be misused. Certainly one of the worst ways this happens
is the desensitizing of almost the entire Western culture toward
male effeminacy and homosexuality. This unregulated media cli-
mate, encouraging sexually deviant and shocking situations for
public display, has evolved slowly and incrementally in America
over the past few decades.
For example, what has become known as “cross-dressing”
was first introduced in comedic-type settings decades ago as
harmless fun. Much of the American public quickly accepted such
acts, and even began to laugh at them. But is this type of behavior
really harmless or fun? And should we accept the “Popular Cul-
ture’s” view about male and female roles and conduct?
The God who created you speaks very plainly through His
Word on this matter. Notice Deuteronomy 22:5: “The woman shall
not wear that which pertains unto a man, neither shall a man put
on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the
Lord your God.”
As Creator, God understood thousands of years ago that
there would come a time when rebellious mankind would blur the
roles between men and women. This role reversal is not natural
(Rom. 1:26)! Your children can easily become victims of this state
of confusion—if you do not continually guard against it!
The Newman Study, conducted in 1976, discovered that “it is not
unusual for parents to shield, tolerate, and rationalize the boy’s cross-
dressing for years.” Parents who expect their children to become
Christian men and women should never tolerate such acts—even in
very young children! Such matters need to be taken very seriously!
According to a Saghir and Robins’ survey of homosexuals:
“Among boys destined to become adult male homosexuals, the
prevalence of polysymptomatic effeminacy is very high. About two-
thirds (67%) of the male homosexuals, but only 3% of the male
heterosexuals, described themselves as having been girl-like dur-
ing childhood” (p.18).
In another study, the parents of 55 effeminate boys were
asked to describe their son’s behavior. They reported the following
responses:
• Feminine dressing - 50
• Aversion to boys’ games - 50
• Desire to be female - 43
• Girl playmate preference - 42
• Doll playing - 41
• Feminine gesturing - 40
• Wearing lipstick or other makeup - 34
Saghir and Robins’ defines a “sissy” boy as: “One who shows
a persistent aversion to playing with other boys or to being in-
volved in boys’ games and activities. He prefers being with girls
and enjoys doing housework and playing with ‘girly’ dolls. He is
often teased by other boys and by his siblings about his ‘girl-like’
behavior. He frequently becomes an unhappy and isolated child
unable to belong in the company of boys or to participate fully in
the activities of girls. His yearnings are not those of the boy next
door but of the girl on the other side of the street. He feels awk-
ward playing ball but is at home jumping rope. He dreads the gym
hour but feels at ease cleaning or helping mother with her cook-
ing.”
Another study, called the Thompson study, compared 127 ho-
mosexual men with 123 heterosexual “controls.” There were 46
items on the questionnaire. On 32 items, homosexuals differed
significantly from heterosexuals. Beginning with the item on which
there was the highest level of difference, homosexuals responded
to the questions as follows:
a. played baseball never or sometimes

b. played competitive group games, never or sometimes
c. spent time with father very little
d. physical make as a child, frail, clumsy or uncoordinated
e. felt accepted by father mildly or no
f. played with boys before adolescence sometimes
g. mother insisted on being center of child’s attention often or
always
A mother who carelessly shelters her son from adversity and

rough play is directly contributing to the possible surrender of his
masculinity to the effeminate architects of the Western World’s
upside-down society.
Fathers must be actively involved in the rearing of their chil-
dren! This includes spending the time and expending the effort to
teach their boys to conduct themselves as boys, and grow into
masculine, balanced men!
The importance of a strong male role model for young boys
cannot be overstated. For young boys to reach true and full man-
hood, they must see examples of true and full manhood.
It has been said that girls tend to marry men who are most like
their fathers. This makes being a good father more crucial than meets
the eye. It is not unusual for abused girls to marry abusive men. The
daughters of warm, kind, patient, wise and loving fathers generally
look for the same qualities in prospective mates. And this would natu-
rally be the kind of man fathers want their daughters to look up to. (Of
course, this is also true for their sons, in reverse.) Not only do girls
who have not had a close relationship with a father potentially have
great difficulty in marriage, they also struggle with being comfortable
in relationships with—and even being in the presence of—all men
throughout the course of their lives.
Recall that Paul’s instruction to fathers had to do with their “chil-
dren,” not just their sons. It is absolutely paramount that fathers not be
harsh, mean, overly sharp or abusive to daughters. Fathers must never
forget that daughters are more delicate and usually somewhat more
tenderhearted than boys. Few things are more painful to observe than
a huge man roaring or railing at a little, fragile girl who has made a
simple, innocent mistake. Be sure that you never name-call or over-
react with your daughter. While it is not always visible, the result
can be devastating. A warm father-daughter relationship has been
demonstrated to produce the qualities of achievement, creativity and
independence in adult women.
Also, showing the right kind of fatherly affection with girls when
growing up will not only teach your daughter to be affectionate, it will
make her much more likely to wait until marriage to display affec-
tion, and this includes intimate affection, only proper within marriage.
Girls who do not feel affection and tenderness from fathers are almost
invariably driven to seek it too early and outside marriage. And there
will be no shortage of boys who are only too willing to satisfy your
daughter’s unfulfilled “need.”
Remember, fathers, just as you hold a very special place in your
heart for your little girl, she holds an equally special place in her heart
for her dad. Strive to never shatter, betray, neglect or disappoint your
little girl’s view of the most important man in the first third of her
life—you!
Mothers and Daughters
Although applied in somewhat different ways, as with fathers and their

sons, mothers and daughters also have a unique relationship.
Your daughter will learn more about true womanhood—about
how to be a good wife and a good mother—from you than from any-
one else in her life. Paul wrote to Titus that the older women should
“teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love
their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient
to their own husbands…” (2:4-5).
Think of this list as all the things that you as a mother should be
teaching your daughters. After all, they are the ones who will be teach-
ing your granddaughters, and you will be amazed later at how you may
hear your voice coming from your grown daughters.
Mothers, teach your daughters all the aspects of true femininity, a
quality now almost entirely lost today. Paul’s instruction speaks more
to this than meets the eye. Many women today are “mannish” to the
point of being outright masculine. This is often because they value
a career outside the home in which they must compete and strive to
succeed in what has generally been called “a man’s world,” instead of
being content to obey God in the career He has given them as a “keep-
er at home.” If you are working outside the home, and ignoring Paul’s
instruction, you are setting your daughter up to want to do the same. (It
is interesting that large numbers of mothers have been returning home
from the work-a-day world to be “stay-at-home” moms once again.
It has been estimated that 85 percent of all mothers are now back in
the home, either full or part-time, with husbands again bringing home
most of the income.)
Be sure to take a very keen interest in your daughter’s activities,
and this includes involving her in all the elements of homemaking that
so many women today seem to shun—cooking, sewing, decorating,
house cleaning and so much more. Be sure your daughter understands
that these things are important—and that the world around her no lon-
ger values them, because it is confused, misguided and cut off from
God. She must know and understand why she is different.
Mothers and Sons
Every mother understands the extraordinary relationship she has with

her sons, beginning from the moment they are born. Similarly—and
both sides of this relationship directly parallel fathers and daughters—
sons usually retain a very special soft spot in their heart for their moth-
er throughout life, and this even continues after their mother’s death.
Mothers, recognize that you have a great deal to teach your sons
about how to select a mate. (Take time to read Proverbs 31, and notice
who wrote it.) Like daughters marrying men similar to their fathers,
sons often unconsciously look for women similar to their mothers. Be
sure that what your son is looking for is a reflection of a wonderful
example to him, instead of for something less, because you have been
something less.
Sons are often so devoted to their mothers that they try to remake
their wives into a clone of her. Mothers, be sure to teach your son to
love and appreciate the woman he marries for what she is, not for
what he expects her to be, after he “remakes” her. Teach him the most
important qualities that he should be looking for in the woman who
will become the mother of his children. (Of course, this works in the
same way with fathers and daughters.)
Grandparents and Extended Family
Extended families of the past were usually much larger than those of
today. Yet, they were much less complicated, because divorce was
much less frequent. This meant that children generally had two par-
ents and four grandparents, with no half-brothers or half-sisters and
no step-siblings, and with most of the other extended family members
living in close proximity.
This meant that nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles and cousins were
once almost routinely involved in a child’s developing years. While
it will take some effort, it is worth the time to nurture your children’s
relationships with aunts, uncles, cousins and as many other members
of your extended family as possible. This will enrich your children—
as well as the extended family members!—in a host of ways.
Apart from parents, your children’s grandparents—the patriarch
and matriarch of the entire family—should stand as the centerpieces
of the extended family. While this ideal may be more difficult to attain
than in generations past, it is crucial that you try as hard as possible to
continually expose your children to your own parents.
Grandparents are a veritable treasure trove—a gold mine—of expe-
rience, and they are a living link to the family’s past. They are gener-
ally filled with stories about ancestors and important world events of
the past, which children may only read about, but which they have
experienced. Grandfatherly and grandmotherly listening, followed by
advice, is often a treasure that a child will carry with him for the rest
of his life.
Grandparents are also often able to teach hobbies and crafts from the
past that are being lost today to a whole generation of young people who
know nothing of them. I remember looking forward with anticipation
and excitement to the fun I would experience with all my grandparents.
There is another unseen side to the importance of your children
having a strong relationship with grandparents. Solomon wrote,
“Children’s children are the crown of old men” (Prov. 17:6). It is
vital that grandparents feel loved, appreciated and honored by their
grandchildren.
Understand. The Proverbs also instruct grandfathers (or grandmoth-
ers) that “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children”
(13:22). Would grandparents look forward to fulfilling this obligation if
their grandchildren had been neglectful or disrespectful? Of course not.
This instruction to your parents is based on the assumption that your
children’s conduct and honor toward them merits such inheritance!
As with so many other “old paths” of the past, where respect for
the elderly and authority figures was maintained, grandparents are now
often only given “a lick and a promise” attention from their grand-
children or are completely pushed aside by them. If you permit your
children to do this to your parents, then you are not only violating the
Fifth Commandment yourself, but are teaching your children to do the
same to you later, when they give you grandchildren!
Another point: One of my grandfathers was absentee all during
my life, with the only time I met him being once at age eight. He had
divorced my grandmother long before I was born. She remarried a
man who became an absolutely wonderful step-grandfather, a man we
always called “Bobbie.” This man was proof that one does not have
to be a biological “grandfather” to effectively love and influence chil-
dren. The message here is to make the best of the circumstances you
have without complaining.
One final point is important here: Children who spend a lot of time
with their grandparents tend to become comfortable in the presence
of all older people. So few young people today have any time for the
elderly, who are now more often merely the objects of derision and
disrespectful name-calling. Properly teaching your children to respect
their grandparents carries the wonderful side-benefit of making them
comfortable in the presence of those who present a vast “Fort Knox”
wealth of experience to draw upon—for those wise enough to “enter
the vault” on a regular basis.
Require Siblings to Get Along
One of the greatest frustrations of parents is that their children con-

tinually fight—and over almost every kind of issue and possession.
What is often referred to as “sibling rivalry” is nothing more than raw
human nature—vanity, jealousy, lust and greed—allowed to remain
unchecked in your children. This pattern usually begins at a very early
age, and has to be addressed when it first appears. Many parents are
worn out by the constant fighting, bickering and yelling between chil-
dren in the household. Tragically, most parents have no idea what to
do about it, let alone what causes it.
Teach your children from the very earliest age the importance of
getting along with brothers and sisters. This naturally begins with the
firstborn, who may see a little brother or sister as competition sent to
take away part of his world—including toys, other possessions and
attention from parents who once had more time for him.
Explaining that the greatest happiness comes from sharing—from
giving to others—is teaching your children one of the most important
principles they will learn throughout their lives. Human nature is
selfish, greedy and grasping, and is only interested in receiving, not
giving—unless you train this out of your children’s thinking. Your
children must know that if they do not share, things will be taken away
from them so they (at least temporarily) do not have to worry about
sharing. If this does not work, isolate your child for a time, reminding
him or her that it is critical that one be able to get along with others
in every circumstance, and that sharing can also mean going without
(through giving) if someone else is in need.
Another part of this principle is teaching your children to be con-
siderate of other people. Christianity is practicing the “give” way of
life instead of the “get” way. Actively teach your children to consider
the needs and feelings of others. This practice starts with brothers and
sisters, but extends to all the other people they will come in contact
with. Be sure your children have heard this principle repeated so often
that it becomes virtually second nature to them.
Explain How to Choose Friends
The previous point introduces an important and related topic, that of

how your children choose friends and associates. Again, since “evil
companions corrupt good conduct”—and some translations substitute
“conduct” or “behavior” for “manners” in Paul’s explanation—the
wrong choice of friends, or even casual acquaintances, can ultimately
destroy your children’s character. This can potentially ruin their repu-
tation, and possibly lead them into actions that could send their life
down the drain.
Notice the overall principle contained in this Proverb: “Make no
friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man you shall not
go: lest you learn his ways, and get a snare to your soul” (22:24-25).
Consider all that this exhortation from Solomon—but actually
directly from the mind of God—means to your children. It has been
said, “Put a good boy with a bad boy and you will wind up with two
bad boys every time!” This may be more true in this generation than
in any previous age, simply because the young people surrounding
your children today exert every conceivable kind of wrong influence
on them.
Now consider the following point in light of all that you have read
thus far: It has probably become painfully apparent to you that there
are far fewer children and teenagers today who would be able to be
appropriate friends to a young person who is striving to obey and rep-
resent God—and, of course, this should be your child! But you must
teach your children to accept this reality, which this world forces upon
them.
Have no doubt that your children’s friends will influence them, and
will potentially change them. Although there can be wonderful excep-
tions to this rule, today it is usually not for the better. You must be
actively involved—and very diligent in monitoring—your children’s
selection of companions. And recognize that who your children want
to be around may be a statement about what is already occurring under
the surface of their character of which you may not be aware. By the
time you discover what is happening, your children could be further
down the road of wrong conduct and wrong companions than you
think, and much more difficult, or even impossible, to guide back to
right thinking. I have seen many situations in which a parent’s battle
to protect his or her child had been lost before the parent even knew
that a shot had been fired.
Finally, recognize that your child could also suddenly become
attracted to a friend of the opposite sex and could quickly fast-forward
to a decision to want to marry this person (at a later date)—and you
were unaware that anything was happening. When the dangers of
fornication and religious differences are factored in, this is a recipe
for disaster. If this occurs, absolutely require your child to end the
relationship immediately!
Teach your children to look for friends who exhibit as many as pos-
sible of the kinds of things that you are teaching them. Of course, they
must understand that no human being is perfect, and that little flaws
must be overlooked and forgiven. Be sure, however, that you person-
ally meet their friends, and that these friends spend a certain amount
of time in your home.
Constantly be aware of who your children are spending time with.
Too much is at stake to do less. This means actively teaching them
how to select friends, including what can be at stake if they make the
wrong decision(s).
In conclusion, the best guidance you can give your children in
selecting friends is to teach them to look for people demonstrating the
kinds of qualities described in this book’s earlier chapters.
Explain How to Deal with Difficult People
Life sometimes involves interacting with difficult people. Inevitably,

everyone will have to deal with such individuals. This can be com-
plicated when those individuals are in positions of authority. Your
children must be equipped to handle these situations.
For instance, explain to your children how to deal with people who
lose their temper. Make them aware of passages such as the following:
“A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger”
(Prov. 15:1), and that “by long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a
soft tongue breaks the bone” (25:15). The meaning here is that bones
are the hardest part of the body, and that patient, calm, measured
responses ultimately lead to the best results in diffusing even the hard-
est mindsets.
Your children will encounter a great many rude, angry, impatient
and even hostile people over the course of a lifetime. Some will be
absolutely belligerent and almost impossible to deal with. And these
will often appear at times when it is least expected. Everyone can
deal with people who are pleasant, courteous, thoughtful and patient.
These are never the people who test our character and attitude. The
test comes when facing wrong attitudes in people. Your children must
know what to do, and this means you must teach them.
Try to constantly emphasize the value of being diplomatic in
moments of tension, friction and difficulty. Help your children to
understand and practice Christ’s words: “Blessed are the peacemak-
ers…” (Matt. 5:9). There are ways to defuse tension and alleviate
difficulty. Teach your children to listen and not react suddenly, to use
kindness, to apologize when necessary, to share, to not be defensive,
among others. These are skills of diplomatic human relations that you
can and must instill in them.
Most children today are tactless—and, if you are not careful, your
children will grow up to be the very people that you are training them
to deal with. Your children will naturally absorb the conduct and
tendencies of these children of the modern society. Careful training,
coupled with presenting a good example of public relations for your
child to copy, will instill the ability to be diplomatic in all but the most
impossible circumstances.
Now for some important final instruction about the big picture.
Chapter Eight 141
The Big Picture
M alachi 4 describes a prophecy that God would raise up a unique

man to fulfill an extraordinary office. Notice: “Behold, I will
send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dread-
ful day of the Lord: and he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the
children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and
smite the earth with a curse [Hebrew: “utter destruction”]” (vs. 5-6).
This man is also mentioned by Jesus in the New Testament and
described as one who would “come, and restore all things” (Matt.
17:11) to the Church of God.
God will keep His promise to send a special servant to fulfill this
prophecy at the end of the age. He will use one man to teach a host of
true doctrines of the Bible that have become lost through the ages even
to His Church. Among these teachings, in fulfillment of Malachi’s
prophecy, he will explain to God’s people how to rebuild the family
unit—and this applies to all others who would hear this instruction.
This man will be led by God to establish and oversee what will
become an immense globe-girdling Work teaching Christ’s doctrines as
received by the original apostles directly from Him. Train Your Children
God’s Way is an early look at the principles this man will teach.
Tools Provided for You
While this book is the starting point to properly training your children,
it is by no means all you will need in the years that lie ahead. As your
children pass through different stages of their development, you will
need additional aid in thoroughly teaching them God’s Way. You will
find that we have tools designed for children of all ages—from tiny
children through the age beginning adulthood.
To this end, The Restored Church of God has produced an enor-
mous number of tools specifically designed to help you in your quest
to be informed parents producing happy, successful children. Here is
a brief summary of all that is available to you, with more continually
on the way.
Books and Booklets
First, we have several booklets that will help you with your marriage
(and they can be used to help you teach your children about marriage),
which in turn strengthens your childrearing. These are You Can Build
a Happy Marriage and The Purpose of Marriage – Ever Obsolete?
One additional booklet, Understanding Divorce and Remarriage, will
be helpful for those who may be struggling as single parents, and who
also may be wondering about God’s view of this subject.
In addition, we have two other larger books, Sex – Its Unknown
Dimension and Dating and Courtship – God’s Way, that will be partic-
ularly helpful to you as your children get older and need more specific
instruction in these areas. The first book will not only be important in
teaching your children, but also in your own marriage. Referenced ear-
lier in Chapter Five, the second book is also filled with absolutely vital
information and principles that will be most important in guiding your
children through the teen years on their way to the age of marriage.
Our book The Ten Commandments – “Nailed to the Cross” or
Required for Salvation? is also most important in educating your chil-
dren to the wonderful wisdom and genius of God, reflected in how He
created these basic but marvelous spiritual laws for our—and your
children’s—protection!
Related Literature
We also offer scores of helpful articles and literature on a host of top-

ics, several of them related to Train Your Children God’s Way.
One of these articles, which would be helpful in educating your
children to another harmful habit, is “The Truth About Smoking.”
While this book has not addressed this problem directly, you should
at least understand that smoking has once again become a growing
problem among millions of young people today.
The Big Picture 143
Another article that is vital in the process of teaching children the
difference between fully enjoying various of life’s pleasures in bal-
ance and falling into worldliness is “Worldliness – What Is It?” Then
you should consider studying our equally vital article, “You Can Live
the Abundant Life!” This will assist you in helping your children
understand that Christianity is not the negative religion of “Thou
shalt nots” that so many have come to believe it is. This article will
in turn lead you to our extraordinary book, Tomorrow’s Wonderful
World – An Inside View! And this book will especially help you to
inspire your children to look ahead to being part of a future beyond
their wildest dreams.
As your children reach adulthood, approaching the time that they
will want to consider baptism and conversion, our article “Are You
Being Called?” will be most important for them to study. You may
wish to study it to inform yourself in advance of this process that your
children will undergo if you have properly fulfilled your duty.
A Special Magazine
We also have a marvelous magazine, Ambassador Youth, produced

exclusively for teenagers. This wonderful, bi-monthly publication is
loaded with clear, strong articles covering a host of important topics
relevant to teenagers, as well as many other helpful tips and other
information, including a regular Bible Study section geared to teens.
(All previous issues can be found on the part of our website under the
name Ambassador Youth.) This magazine is simply the best of its kind
in the world, and every teenager should read every issue!
Bible Lessons
We also have seven levels of The Children’s Bible Lessons for pre-
teens, children in kindergarten through sixth grade. You will find that
this is far and away the best course of its kind in the world—and it
teaches the truths of the Bible instead of the traditions of men taught in
the Sunday School classes of this world’s denominations. In addition,
we produce Children’s Coloring Books in the seasons of God’s annual
Spring and Fall Holy Days for young children.
The Story of the Bible Series
We have also produced an entire series of longer, beautifully illustrated

volumes, The Story of the Bible, that are wonderful teaching tools for
parents reading to younger children, or for elementary school children
and teenagers who wish to read them on their own.
These volumes (seven) are written in a way that is interesting to
everyone, including small children through adulthood. Many thou-
sands of adults also enjoy them on a regular basis.
World’s Largest Religious Websites
All of these marvelous—and free—publications can be found on our

websites, and many of them are sent automatically to all members of
The Restored Church of God. We hope that all fathers and mothers
will take the time to explore and familiarize themselves with this vast
array of most helpful material. You will be glad you did—and so will
your children!
As you may already be aware, The Restored Church of God has the
largest religious websites—of any religion—in the world today. There
are other related and very important and helpful materials that can be
found on them. I encourage you to take some time to peruse all the
areas of these sites so you can grasp all that is available to you in your
determination to become successful parents.
What Will You Do?
Consider for a moment this analogy. No one would ever think of putting
someone who is anything less than highly trained in front of a ticking
bomb in the hope that he could defuse it. That person would have to be
taught, and properly educated to understand how to avoid a potentially
life-threatening situation. Think! This world has put a generation of
parents in front of a ticking bomb—their children, and the generation
surrounding them—with no proper training and no education, and thus
with no hope of defusing the bomb. But you are different. You have now
been taught not only how to diffuse the bomb, but also how to transform
it (your children) into something beautiful and productive.
Knowledge is of absolutely no value unless it is put to use. You
have been given truly vital knowledge, available nowhere else. But
you must now take it off the pages of this book (and the other publica-
tions recommended) and put it into practice!
Let me reiterate what you read at the beginning of the book. God
has given you a tremendously important stewardship: to rear innocent
little children—born as so many blank sheets of paper waiting for you
to “write” upon—into mature, God-fearing, successful adults. This
will not happen overnight.
The Big Picture 145
Your children are not machines—they are not robots. They cannot
be programmed to do exactly what you want, when you want. They are
free moral agents. In the end, after all your efforts are complete, they
will make the final decision of whether to walk in the path you lay out
for them or not, whether they will obey God or not. Your job is to best
prepare them to make the right decision!
It will take much patience, perseverance and wisdom to complete
your children’s coursework. It will also take much faith to apply God’s
childrearing principles on a consistent basis. But if you stay the course
and refuse to give up, God’s Way will yield amazing results. This
means using and reviewing this book and the other tools described ear-
lier as textbooks, directly assisting your children’s coursework enroute
to graduation into adulthood.
If God has called you out of this world (John 6:44; Rev. 18:4), then
He has sanctified—set apart—your children for a purpose: So that
He can one day call them into His truth. Notice: “For the unbelieving
husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sancti-
fied by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they
holy” (I Cor. 7:14).
This means that your children have been set apart by God—that
they are “holy”—just as you are, if you are faithfully serving and
obeying God.
Further, if God is calling you, you are being judged now—
“judgment must begin at the house of God” (I Pet. 4:17). Part of that
judgment involves how well you manage each of your stewardships,
including the most important one—rearing your children. I repeat
a final time for emphasis: Your goal is to rear responsible, happy
children whom God can one day convert into the Body of Christ, the
Church of God—and later bring into His own divine Family.
Will you make the task easy for Him? Or will you make it dif-
ficult?
The Greatest Leaders
Before entering any major endeavor, prudent people want to know

what is at stake. They want to know what it means if they succeed or
what it means if they fail in their effort. In other words, what are the
consequences—either way?
Consider! Invariably, the most successful people, the most effective
role models for others, the wisest parents, the best husbands and wives,
and the greatest leaders, were all exposed to great teachers who
taught them in their formative years.
Not everyone can be a leader now, in this life, but everyone should
be striving to qualify for future leadership—future rulership.
Without strong leadership from you as parents—which is centered in
your ability to be effective teachers—your children have little chance
to be anything but followers, and probably poor ones at that if you
have not done your part at all.
When properly understood, your children are actually also in
training from an early age to become future members of the coming,
world-ruling Kingdom or Family of God, soon to appear as a super-
government led by Jesus Christ, ruling with all the saints of past
ages over the cities throughout the nations of Earth. Christ has been
carefully preparing His team of co-rulers for 6,000 years, beginning
with what was offered to Adam and Eve. If God has called you, you
already know that you are in training for this rulership. But so are your
children—NOW!
As parents, you possess immense power. You have the author-
ity—now coupled with a tremendous amount of revealed spiritual
knowledge—to give your children the maximum opportunity to dis-
cover their strengths, to achieve right goals, to learn about the true God
and to build His righteous character, to develop their extraordinary
human potential, and to lead lives filled with success, productivity,
and service to others, which will lead to the supreme happiness and
joy that all long for.
You are urged a final time to seek God and ask Him for the crucial
wisdom and constant guidance that you need. Then go fulfill your
potential as parents by helping your children fulfill theirs—to become
future sons of God.
They are counting on you!
Other Books by David C. Pack
g The Awesome Potential of Man
g Tomorrow’s Wonderful World – An Inside View!
g Saturday or Sunday – Which Is the Sabbath?
g America and Britain in Prophecy
g The True Jesus Christ – Unknown to Christianity
g Where Is the True Church? – and Its Incredible History!
g Dating and Courtship – God’s Way
g The Trinity – Is God Three-In-One?
g The Bible’s Difficult Scriptures Explained!
g The Ten Commandments – “Nailed to the Cross”
or Required for Salvation?

g Herbert W. Armstrong – His Life in Proper Perspective
041019
TYC
The Restored Church of God

1000 Ambassador Drive P.O. Box 4064
Wadsworth, OH 44281 St. Catharines, ON L2R 7S3
USA CANADA
Phone: (330) 334-2266

Fax: (330) 334-6513
E-mail: info@rcg.org
Web: rcg.org

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TRAIN YOUR

THIS BOOK IS PROVIDED FREE OF CHARGE AND IN THE

Copyright © 2008, 2019 The Restored Church of God®

T here is not another book about childrearing like Train Your

Facing the Challenge

I t has been said that children represent a parent’s greatest steward-

The Greatest Challenge

So many children and teenagers today have become hopeless, with

Consider the typical television sitcom: Strong family values, once

More Astonishing Statistics

Subcultures All Their Own

Modern teenagers have developed their own entirely unique subcul-

Sexual Revolution Pre-teen Style

As mentioned earlier, teen—and even pre-teen—sex is now fast

H ere is a descriptive reference from the prophet Hosea foretelling

Who They Are

Born in 1980-2000, they are the latest generation of youth in the

“Hovered Over” Childhoods

Baby boomers have been called self-absorbed. Gen-Xers have been

Parents, teachers—even children’s television shows—repeatedly

A new industry of consultants has emerged to teach companies how

Many children today are almost completely void of true values—and

All Religions Have Failed

All of the supposed “great religions” have failed to give parents

The Biblical Doctrine

M ost people view childrearing as a matter of personal opinion.

Two Approaches to Childrearing

As previously mentioned, God has given children to you as a gift of

The Four Important Rules of Childrearing

Never Let Discipline Become Abuse

Is God’s Way Harsh?

Let’s momentarily examine how God dealt with rebellious teens in

Strengthen Your Children

Is Spanking Bad for Children?

Discipline—Rules You Can Use

When Giving Instructions, Always Speak Just Once

Do not repeat yourself or raise your voice when giving instructions. If

The Punishment Must Fit the Offense

Immediately Show Affection

Never Forget the Power of Example

A ll parents want their children to lead happy, abundant, successful

Make Clear the Importance of Setting Goals

Guide Toward the Pursuit of Excellence

Help Your Children Discover Their Talents and Interests

Of course, costs can create certain limits—skydiving?!, deep-sea fish-

The Worst Parental Sin—Spoiling Your Children!

Avoid at All Costs!

Teach Your Children They Cannot Always Have Their Way

Millions of parents now routinely cater to their children. The ways in

Teach Your Children Life Is Not Fair

Teach Your Children the Meaning of the Word “No”

More Shocking Television Statistics

Your Authority Is Often Enough

Teach your children to accept the simple phrase, “Because I said

Educate Your Children in the Art of Communication

The ability to communicate effectively is one of the most important

Encourage Your Children to

Young people in this generation have come to be jaded, cynical and

Require Proper Handling and Saving of Money