3rd year – Written Expression Miss Bouallaga

Writing Reports

Keep your sentences short

Most experts agree that clear writing should have an average sentence length of 15-20 words. This does not
mean making every sentence the same length. Be punchy. Vary your writing by mixing short sentences (like
the last one) with longer ones (like this one), following the basic principle of sticking to one main idea in a
sentence, plus perhaps one other related point. At first you may still find yourself writing the odd long
sentence, especially when trying to explain a complicated point. But most long sentences can be broken up
in some way.
Exercise: Here are some examples. Split them where suitable by putting in full stops. You may need to put
in or take out words so that the new sentences will make sense. But don’t change anything else.
1 From a formal report of a disciplinary interview
I raised your difficulty about arriving ready for work on time and pointed out that your managers had done
their best to take account of your travel problems and you had agreed with them that the Green Lane depot
was the most convenient place for you to work, however, your initial improvement was short-lived and over
the past two months your punctuality has dropped to a totally unacceptable level.
2 From an electricity company
I do not seem to have received the information required from you to set up your budget scheme, and I now
enclose the relevant form and ask that you fill it in and return it.
3 From a solicitor
If you could let me have the latest typed version of the form in the next seven days, whereupon I suggest we
meet here on 19 December to finalize the text so that you could then give me an estimate of the cost of
producing a typeset proof.
4 From a credit company
I refer to the earlier notice served in respect of your account as the arrears now amount to the sum shown
above, you leave me with no alternative than to commence court action and details of your account have
been referred to the company’s solicitor.

Actives and passives

Do you want your reports to sound active or passive – crisp and professional or stuffy and bureaucratic?
Well, this is where we have to get grammatical. Most people know that a verb is a ‘doing’ word, like
‘make’, ‘do’, ‘play’, ‘talk’ or ‘write’. There are many ways to split verbs into different categories, but we’re
just going to consider the difference between active and passive verbs. Passive verbs make writing duller
and harder to understand. Active verbs make writing livelier and more personal.
In almost all sentences that contain active verbs, the doer comes first, then the verb and then the thing. There
will probably be lots of other words as well. For example: ‘The boss, in a fit of temper, slammed the door to
the outer office.’ But the order of doer, verb, thing stays the same.
With passive verbs, the thing comes first: ‘The door was slammed by the boss.’ You can see that by making
the sentence passive, we have had to introduce the words ‘was’ and ‘by’, which means the sentence is now
much clumsier.

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Here are some more examples of sentences containing passive verbs.
• The matter will be considered by us shortly. (We will consider the matter shortly.)
• The riot was stopped by the police. (The police stopped the riot.)
• The mine had to be closed by the safety inspector. (The safety inspector had to close the mine.)

Good uses of passives

There are times of course when it makes sense to use a passive.
 To make something less hostile: ‘this bill has not been paid’ (passive) is softer than ‘you have not
paid this bill’ (active).
 To avoid taking the blame: ‘a mistake was made’ (passive) rather than ‘we made a mistake’ (active).
 When you don’t know who or what the doer is: ‘the England team has been picked’.
 If it simply sounds better.
But aim to make about 80-90% of your verbs active.

Exercise: Spot the passive verbs in the following examples and change the sentences around so that they use
active verbs.
1 From a DVLA letter (you will need to invent a doer for the first verb)
The tax disc was sent to you at the address on your application form but it was returned by the Post Office as
undeliverable mail.
2 From a building society
In the Investment Account Statement which was sent to you recently, it was indicated by us that we would
write to you again concerning the monthly interest that has been paid to you under the terms of your
account.
3 From a council leaflet to parents (use ‘we’ for the Education Department, ‘you’ for the parent).
Advice must also be sought from any other professional likely to have relevant information.
If there is anyone whom you think should be consulted, for example a specialist doctor your child is seeing,
please let the Area Education Office know. Every professional whose advice is sought will be sent a copy of
any information that is provided by you.

What is a nominalization?
A ‘nominalization’ is a type of ‘abstract noun’. In other words, it is the name of something that isn’t a
physical object but a process, technique or emotion.
Nominalizations are formed from verbs. For example:
Verb Nominalization
Complete completion
Introduce introduction
Provide provision
fail failure
arrange arrangement
investigate investigation
use utilization

The problem is that writers often use nominalizations when they should use the verbs they come from. Like
passive verbs, too many nominalizations make writing very dull and heavy-going.

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Here are some examples of nominalizations:
· We had a discussion about the matter. (We discussed the matter.)
· The report made reference to staff shortages. (The report referred to staff shortages.)
· The decision was taken by the Board. (The Board decided.)
· The implementation of the policy has been done by a team. (A team has implemented the policy.)

Exercise: Bring the following sentences to life by revealing the verbs hidden by nominalizations and
making any changes you think are necessary.

1 From a letter on Housing Benefit

If you would like consideration to be given to your application, please send me your last five wage slips.
2 From an electricity company
Your meter is operated by the utilization of tokens.
3 From a surveyor’s report
We can solve the problem by the removal of the plaster to a height of one metre, the insertion of a new damp
proof course and the introduction of suitable floor joists.
4 From a gas region
We have made an examination of your account and can tell you that application for budget payments at this
late stage is still possible.
5 From a council to a building contractor
To cause minimum disruption to teaching provision, it is imperative that the school roof renewal is carried
out by your company concurrently with your completion of the Special Needs Unit.

Cutting out useless words

Now you’re going to put all the techniques you’ve learnt so far into practice, along with one other technique
- cutting out useless words.
Exercise: With all these examples, shorten sentences, put in active verbs, use everyday English, make them
more personal and direct, replace nominalizations and cut out useless words.
1 From an electricity board letter
The standing charge is payable in respect of each and every quarter.
2 From a bank
You will be sent a letter regarding current interest rates not less often than once a year.
3 From a credit company
Notice must be given of your intention to cancel the agreement a period of 30 days prior to your
cancellation.
4 From a building society
Should you be unable to agree to the contents of the statement or you have any questions thereon, please
write to this department at the address overleaf, enclosing your passbook or certificate and the statement.
5 From a management consultant
You are required to notify us immediately in the event of your unavoidable absence from work for sickness
or any other reason and the attached note explains your obligations in this respect.
6 From a solicitor
We would advise that attached herewith is the entry form which has been duly completed and would further
advise that we should be grateful if you would give consideration to the various different documents to
which we have made reference.

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7 From another electricity company
In consequence of the non-payment of the above-mentioned account, an employee will call at your home for
the purpose of obtaining a meter reading and disconnecting the supply on 10 March.
8 From a local authority
If you are experiencing difficulty in meeting your rent payments and are not currently in receipt of Housing
Benefit, you may qualify for help towards your rent under the Housing Benefit Scheme and details of this
can be forwarded upon request. Alternatively, if you require advice regarding either your rent arrears or
possible entitlement to Housing Benefit, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Other points to consider

Sounding positive
Always try to emphasize the positive side of things. For example:
 If you don’t send your payment, we won’t be able to renew your membership of the scheme. (negative)
 Please send your payment so that we can renew your membership of the scheme. (positive)
Now rewrite these examples in a positive way (and use what you have learned so far to make any other
changes you think are necessary).
1 From a local authority
You will reduce your chances of a council home if you do not keep your choice of areas as wide as possible.
2 From a bank (make this more personal)
No-one may apply for the scheme unless their account is credited with at least £1000.

Report Sections:
Reports can be set out in eight parts, but you won’t always need them all.
· Title or title page
· Contents list
· Abstract
· Introduction
· Discussion
· Summary and conclusions
· Recommendations
· Appendix

 A short report won’t need a title page, but should have a title.
 The contents list is only needed in long reports.
 The abstract is only needed in formal reports, such as reports of scientific research. It is a summary of
the report. It won’t usually be printed with the report so it needs to be able to stand alone. Keep it
between 80 and 120 words.
 The introduction should be brief and answer any of the following questions that seem relevant.
What is the topic? Who asked for the report and why? What is the background?
What was your method of working? If the method is long and detailed, put it in an appendix. What were the
sources? If there are many, put them in an appendix.
 The discussion is the main body of the report. It is likely to be the longest section, containing all the
details of the work organized under headings and sub-headings. Few readers will read every word of this
section. So start with the most important, follow it with the next most important, and so on.
 The summary and conclusions section is sometimes placed before the discussion section. It describes
the purpose of the report, your conclusions and how you reached them. The conclusions are your main
findings. Keep them brief. They may include or may lead to your recommendations: what should be
done in the future to improve the situation?
 The appendix is for material which readers only need to know if they are studying the report in depth.
Relevant charts and tables should go in the discussion where readers can use them. Only put them in an
appendix if they would disrupt the flow of the report.
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