The channel of emotions

As time went on Sasealya grew tired of being the shy and timid one. She was 5’3 butter
scotch toned and had long hair with thickly cut bangs that covered her eyes. She always
had long sleeves no matter what weather. If she didn’t have long sleeves she had wrist
bands or arm warmers. She was often the one that hid her adventures in writing and that
she finally wanted to do something about her life. Instead of taking baby steps she
jumped far ahead. The day was march first, Monday morning and she had just left the
house on her way to the bus stop. After telling her parents goodbye she strolled down the
street to the bus stop on the corner. Its early in the morning five to be exact. She walks in
the darkness of the dreary morning. She makes it to the bus stop and she sees a group of
kids 3 boys and two girls standing there conversing about gun and gun types. This girl
had a dark past as well as a dark secret. She stood there and awaited for the bus to pull
up. She looked around the crowd in which stood in front of her. At this very bus stop was
a boy she had so longingly glared at a boy that never glared at her. The bus came and all
the kids entered. As she approached the landing a boy came racing behind banging on the
door for someone to hold it for him. Sasealya stalled just enough for him to get on the
bus. Sasealya took it lightly in fact she went and sat down, but he didn’t.

Saselaya’s point of view.

I went to sit in the same spot I’d usually sit daily when I caught this bus. As I sat
he approached me. He smiled with that prize winning smile. I nearly melted. He
sat next to me and said. “thank you”. I paused and looked around. “You,” he said
touching my cheek. His hands were warm and soft. I finally lifted my head and
smiled. “Why are you thanking me?” I asked. “Because you held the bus for me.”
he said. “Oh.” I replied. He glared at me to see my eyes. “you have the prettiest
smile, so what’s your name?” I paused and dropped my head once again. What’s
wrong? He titled his head to meet my eyes. “I’m not very fond of my weird
name..” He stood up right. “Oh really? Well let me hear it.” I pause look around to
see when my stop came. “My name is sasealya.” I mumble. “A little louder.” he
says playfully. “My name is Sasealya” I said. “that’s pretty,” he said. “Oh.” I said
trying not to blush. The bus stopped and I looked around and sonly realize my
stop has come. I stand and state I must go. He stands and says “bye Sasealya, nice
meeting you.” I smile and nod my head. I turn to walk away but he stops me.
“here.” He says giving me my journal. “You dropped this”. “Thank you, umm-”
Joseph he interrupts. “Thank you Joseph” I say smiling.

As I make it to school I’m stopped by security. Maim were going to have to ask to
search your book bag. I hesitate for I carry my razorblade in the pocket of my
black folder title emo. “Okay.” I say throwing them the book bag. I stood there
patiently as they went through my book bag checking all of my pencil cases full
of markers, chalk as well as color pencils, pencils and jelled pens. After they
found nothing they went through my pockets hoping to find something there. “Sir,
why are you doing this?” I asked innocently. “Were doing this because last Friday
someone witness you with and razorblade in your hand and were just making sure
you don’t have one today. Do you?” he asked going through my folders. “No” I
said as he switched folders. Today I had five folders two red two white and one
black. He quickly got done checking the red and white folders and I nearly started
crying when he placed his hand in the pocket of the black folder. He pulled out
my blade. Rusted and blood stained. A tear rolled down my face. They came up
behind me and handcuffed me in front of everyone. As they walked me down the
hallway people looked at me as if I was a criminal the type of criminal that kills
for fun and tortures for a thrill. As I made it to the principles office they
demanded I call home. I called home quickly and prayed to god my father of all
people did not pick up. Sadly my prayers were sent out of the sky. My father
picked up and said. “Hello”
I paused and looked at the security guard as they came back from getting the
assistant principle. The assistant principle came up to the table were I was. My
father repeated “Hello” I paused took deep breathe and said. “Dad I’m in trouble.”
“What did you do?” I didn’t answer. “SASEALYA WHAT DID YOU DO!!”
“Dad I’m sorry I didn’t mean to.” the assistant principle took the phone and
continued to talk to my father. “Mr. walker please claim down she’s being kicked
out for 3 days, for weapon possession.” The room went silent. The handcuffs
gripped tightly around my wrist. I sat and closed my eyes and prayed that this was
a dream that all this time I was just a sleep. The security guard came over and
took off my handcuffs and said “your father is on his way.” My head dropped I
already knew what was going to happen. They didn’t know, but I did. It was
fifteen minutes later when he came. The sun had just hit the sky. I left my head
hanging low as he filled out my suspension papers. The assistant principle gave
him the blade. My heart dropped. I dropped into depression. My memory went
blank. When I looked up my dad tapped my shoulder to get out the car and go in
the house. I walked slow. As if I was at age and waiting to die. When I made it
inside I could only pray to live past my bedroom door. When I made it inside my
dad pushed me against the wall. My mom came racing out her room wondering
what happened to me. She stood in front of me being my angle. “What happened
Stan?”
He came over to me ready to strike me but she stood there. “Your little angle took
a razor blade to school to do god knows what to god knows who” My mother
paused. “Sasealya what where you doing with this” My mother says taking the
blade out of my fathers hand. I dropped my head I couldn’t bare the shame the
embarrassment. “Stan I think its best for you to talk to her on this one.” My
mother says. I immediately shake my head no. Alarmingly” Mom please.” I say
with tears in my eyes. My mother tears up, “Its for your own good” she says
walking slowly back to her room. My dad grabs me by the back of my head and
throws me in the doorway of my room. “get in there!” He shouts. My mom comes
running to my door once again. Stretching her arms in front of me. “Look Stan, I
understand your angry but talk to her soft and gentility don’t survey her, this is not
her fault. She’s still learning so give her a chance.” He smiles stretches out his
hand to help my up and places me on my feet. He leaves the house quickly.

Its darkness and I haven’t seen or heard from my father since he picked
me up from school. My mom entered my room and flicked on the lights.
“Sasealya, Do you want something to eat?” I wipe the tears from my eyes.
“Sure.” I say walking out of my room in to the kitchen. As I sat at the
kitchen table, I took a deep breathe and thank god for the little things.

That night to me is when it began. I stalled going in my room. I watched

My heart beat slowly for I felt a presences behind me. I stood off of the
couch I which I was laying and that’s when the nightmare started. Behind
me was my father he grabbed me and started choking me from behind. He
threw me in the entrance of my room and slapped me in the face
carelessly. I got up and attempt to run to the bathroom but I was to slow he
yanked me by my hair and