| Unity and Coherence In this unit, you will learn . 1 the importance of unity in essay writing. 1 how to edit an essay for unity. 1 the importance of coherence in essay writing. = methods of creating coherence. D_ Writing effective essays You've already learned that an essay should be organised into an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. The next step is to make sure that all three parts of the essay work together to explain your topic clearly. Unity in writing D> What is un Unity in writing is the connection of all ideas to a single topic. In an essay, all ideas should relate to the thesis statement, and the supporting ideas in a main body paragraph should relate to the topic sentence. | Read the essay on page 79 about Chinese medicine. Thon do these tasks. a, Underline the thesis statement with two lines. b. Underline each topic sentence with one line. ¢. List the supporting ideas in each main body paragraph on a separate piece of paper. 4. After you have finished, review the topic sentences and supporting ideas, With a partner, discuss how the topic sentences relate to the thesis statement and how the supporting sentences relate to the topic sentences. Is the essay unified? 78 UNITY AND COHERENCENext Time, Try Chinese Medicine The last time I had a cold, a friend suggested that instead of taking the usual cold medicines, I visit the traditional Chinese doctor in our city. Although I knew nothing about Chinese medicine, I decided to try it, When I walked in to the Chinese doctor’s surgery, 1 was amazed. It was not at all like my usual doctor’s. There were shelves up to the ceiling full of glass containers filled with hundreds of different dried plants and other things I could not identify. Could this really be a doctor's surgery? It seemed very strange to me. When I met the doctor, he explained that Chinese medicine is thousands of years old. The plants in the jars in his office were herbs. These herbs could be mixed together to make medicines. He explained the philosophy of Chinese medicine. The philosophy of traditional Chinese medicine is not the same as the philosophy of modern medicine, but it is useful for curing many health problems. Modern medicine focuses on illness. If a patient with a cough visits a modern doctor, then the doctor will give the patient a medicine to stop the cough. If the patient also has a fever, the doctor may give a different medicine to stop the fever. For every person with a cough, the doctor will probably recommend the same cough medicine. The philosophy of modern medicine is to stop problems like coughing and fever as quickly as possible. Western doctors usually see illness as an enemy. They use medicines like weapons to fight diseases. Chinese medicine, in contrast, has a different philosophy. Instead of focusing on a patient's health problems, Chinese medicine tries to make the patient’s whole body well again. Specifically, doctors of Chinese medicine believe that inside people, there are two types of energy. The first type of energy, called ‘yin’, is quiet and passive. The other type of energy, called ‘yang’, is active. When these two energies are in equal balance, a person is healthy. When there is an imbalance—too much yin, for example—a person becomes unhealthy. ‘A doctor of Chinese medicine doesn’t try to stop a person’s cough by giving a cough medicine. Instead, the doctor gives a mixture of herbs that will restore balance in the patient’s body. As a result, when the body is in balance, the cough will stop naturally. The Chinese doctor's herbs seemed strange to me at first, but they made me feel better. My cold wasn’t cured instantly, but | felt healthy again after a few days. For a very serious health problem, I would probably visit a modern hospital, but the next time I catch a cold, Iam going back to the Chinese doctor. Chinese medicine definitely works for some health problems. UNITY AND COHERENCE 79 1111 Editing an essay for unity > _ Keeping unity in an essay One way to keep unity in an essay is to edit the outline for ideas that are not relevant to the thesis statement or topic sentences, as you learned in Unit 9. Likewise, after you have written the essay, it is helpful to review the text and look for ideas that do not relate to the thesis or the topic sentences. 2. Read this thesis statement and main body paragraphs. The writer has begun to cross out sentences that do not belong. There is still one large piece of the text that should be removed because it isn’t relevant to the thesis. Can you find it? Compare your answer with a partner. Then look at the edited version in exercise 6 on page 85. Thesis statement: Sign language, the language used by many deaf people, has a 500-year history. The first sign language for deaf people was developed in Europe in the 1500s. In Spain, a man named Pedro de Ponce was the first person to teach deaf children using sign language. Another Spaniard, Juan Pablo de Bonet, was the first person to write a book on teaching sign language to deaf people. Mest-oF-his-students were-from-richtamitios- Another important teacher who influenced the development of sign language was a Frenchman named Abbé de L'Epée. LEpée understood that deaf people could communicate without speech. He started to learn the signs used by a group of deaf people in Paris. Using these signs, he developed a more complete French sign language. +Epée-also taught teligion-elasses- Another Frenchman, Louis Braille, also lived during this time. He invented a system of reading and writing for blind people, using raised bumps that can be felt with the fingers. In Germany, a man named Samuel Heinicke was another important teacher of the deaf during this time. However, he did not use sign language for instruction. Instead, he preferred to teach the deaf to understand other people by looking carefully at other people's mouths when they spoke. This is called lip or speech reading, ‘Speech reading became a popular way of teaching deaf in the United States in the mid-1800s. Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the telephone, was one of the strongest supporters of teaching deaf people to do speech reading. Bell became interested in deafness and teaching deat people. With his interest in science and the production of sound, he focused on ways of helping the deaf communicate with more 80 UNITY AND COHERENCEAendth Oz ‘American Sign Language for deaf people (people who cannot hear) listening tools and speech reading. He eventually opened a training school for teachers of the deaf. The early 1800s were an important period in the development of American Sign Language. In 1815, a man named Thomas Gallaudet became interested in teaching deaf people. He travelled to Europe to study ways of communicating with deaf people. He was twenty-seven years old at this time, and he studied at a school for deaf students in Paris for several months. In 1817, Gallaudet returned to the United States, and he brought with him Laurent Clerc, a deaf sign language teacher from Paris. Gallaudet started the first school for the deaf, and Clerc became the first sign language teacher in the USA. The-scheol-caled-the American Scheo-tor the Deaf-still-exists-in- Hartford Genneeticut: American Sign Language developed from the mixture of signs used by deaf Americans and French Sign Language. Today, it is used by more than 500,000 deat people in the United States and Canada, About wenty-mition- people in UNITY AND COHERENCE 81 1111 Coherence in writing D_ What is coherence? Coherence is related to unity. Ideas that are arranged in a clear and logical way are coherent. When a text is unified and coherent, the reader can easily understand the main points. ‘As you learned in Unit 9, creating an outline helps make a well-organised essay. When organising your ideas, think about what type of organisation is the best for your topic or essay type. Here are some examples of types of writing and good ways to organise them. ‘Type of writing ‘Type of organisation Chronology (historical events, Order by time or order of events / steps personal narratives, processes) Description Order by position, size, and shape of things Classification Group ideas and explain them in a logical order Comparison / contrast Organise in point-by-point or block style Argumentation / persuasion and Order from least important to most important cause / effect 3 Look again at the essay in exercise 1 on page 79. What type of organisational pattern does the essay use? How do you know? What about the text in exercise 2 on pages 80 and 81? Cohesive devices > What is a cohesive device? Cohesive devices are words and phrases that connect sentences and paragraphs together, creating a smooth flow of ideas. In this unit, we'll look at transitions, pronoun references, and repetition of key ideas. Transitions “2 Pronoun references Repetition of key ideas 82 UNITY AND COHERENCE11 > Transitions ‘As you've leamed in previous units, there are many transition words and phrases in English that are used to connect sentences together or relate ideas to one another. Here are soveral types of writing and some common transitions that are used with them. Chronology | Comparison | Contrast Examples | Cause Concluding and effect | ideas before Tikewise however forexample | therefore | in conclusion ofter ‘compared to | on the other ingeneral | 50 in summary next similarly hand generally | thus finally since as... a5 but for instance | asa result | therefore first, second | and yet specifically | since to conclude inspite of | ‘moreover | in particular | because to summarise incontrast. | Another... although ishvas instead 4 > Use transitions from the list above, or others that you know, to connect these sentences taken from the essay about Chinese medicine on page 79. When you have finished, compare your answers with the essay. fs of focusing on a patient's health problems, Chinese medicine tries to make the patient’s whole body well again. * . , doctors of Chinese medicine bolieve that inside people, there are two types of energy. The first type of energy, called ‘yin’, is quiet and passive. The other type of energy, called ‘yang’, is active. ... When there is an imbalance—too much yin, * —a person becomes unhealthy. A doctor of Chinese medicine doesn't try to stop a person's cough by giving a cough medicine. *.... wae» the doctor gives a mixture of herbs that will restore balance in the patient's body. ® jswe: When the body is in balance, the cough will stop naturally. > Pronoun reference ‘Two sentences can be connected by the use of a pronoun. A pronoun (he, she, it, they, etc.) takes the place of a noun (a person, place, thing, or idea) or a noun phrase (several words that refer to a person, place, thing, or idea). Look at the following example taken from the essay on sign language: ‘American Sign Language developed from the mixture of signs used by deaf Americans and French Sign Language. Today, it is used by more than 500,000 deaf people in the United States and Canada. ‘The pronoun it refers back to the subject, American Sign Language, and connects the two sentences together. UNITY AND COHERENCE 835. For each of the italicised pronouns in this passage, identify the noun or noun phrase to which it refers. Write your answers on the lines below the text. AV QW Barcelona, Spain's sccond biggest city and the capital of Catalonia, is a popular tourist attraction for several reasons. First, the city is ideally located for both the mountains and the beach, Although * itis on the coast, Its only a couple of hours away from the Pyrenees. In addition, Barcelona is both modern and historic. There are many stylish hotels. Jthas a clean and efficient underground system, and visitors can find a variety of shops and restaurants, especially in the Eixample area. The oldest area of the city, the Barrio Gotico, or Barri Gotic in Catalan, is very beautiful because many of its oldest buildings were protected as areas of the city were rebuilt or developed. The most interesting thing about Barcelona may be 4 its Catalaw heritage. Approximately 70% of the people living in and around Barcelona speak Catalan, a Romance language related to Spanish, and € they speak Spanish as well. In addition to the strong Catalan background, there are large {groups of people who originally came from other parts of Spain such as Andalucia and Murcia living there. All of€ this makes Barcelona a great place to visit. a. i b. se a9 84 UNITY AND COHERENCE11 > Repetition of key nouns or ideas Another way to connect ideas in an essay is by repeating important words and phrases. ‘This will help the reader remember the main ideas in the text. Modern medicine focuses on illness. If a patient with a cough visits a modern doctor, then the doctor will give the patient a medicine to stop the cough. If the patient also hos a fever, the doctor may give a different medicine to stop the fever. For every person with a cough, the doctor will probably recommend the same cough medicine. The philosophy of modern medicine is to stop problems like coughing and fever as quickly as possible. 6 Read these revised paragraphs from the essay on sign language. Underline examples of transition use, pronoun reference, and repetition of key words. Then compare your answers with a partner. Thesis statement: Sign language, the language used by many deaf people, has a five-hundred-year history. ‘The first sign language for deaf people was developed in Europe in the 1600s. Three men in particular contributed a lot to the development of sign language. In Spain, a man named Pedro de Ponce was the first person to teach deaf children using sign language. In addition, another Spaniard, Juan Pablo de Bonet, wrote the first book on teaching sign language to deaf people at about the same time. Another important teacher who influenced the development of sign language was a Frenchman named Abbé de L’Epée. LEpée understood that deaf people could communicate without speech. He started to learn the signs used by a group of deaf people in Paris. Using these signs, he developed a more complete French sign language. The early 1800s were an important period in the development of American Sign Language. In 1816, a man named Thomas Gallaudet became interested in teaching deaf people, so he travelled to Europe to study ways of communicating with deaf people. He was twenty-seven years old at this time, and he studied at a school for deaf students in Paris for several months. After that, Gallaudet returned to the United States, and he brought with him Laurent Clerc, a deaf sign language teacher from Paris. As a result of his experience in Europe, Gallaudet started the first school for the deaf, and Clerc became the first sign language teacher in the USA. American Sign Language developed from the mixture of signs used by deaf Americans and French Sign Language. Today, it is used by more than 500,000 deaf people in the United States and Canada. UNITY AND COHERENCE 8511 7 This paragraph needs more connection. Revise it. Then share your version with other classmates. Ho Chi Minh City Ho Chi Mink City, in Vietnam, is a fascinating destination for travellers to Southeast Asia. It is located on the Mekong River. It was once an important trading center for the French in Southeast Asia, The influence of French culture can still be felt. Many people, especially the older generations, learned French in school and still can speak it very well. Some cafés serve French-style bread and pastries in Ho Chi Minh City. Expensive hotels and restaurants serve French food. Many of the buildings in the city are built in French style. The Vietnamese and the French fought. The French eventually left the country. There are museums and monuments documenting the country’s long—and often bloody— | story. If you are looking for a unique city to visit in Southeast Asia, Ho Chi ! ih City is an attractive choice. 8 Write an outline for an essay on one of the following topics or on a topic of your choice. a, health and medicine in your country b, an important problem in your country ¢. the importance of technology in society 9 Edit your outline for unity and coherence, then write the essay. 10 Exchange the essay you wrote in exercise 9 above with a partner. Look for the use of the cohesive devices you have learned about in this unit. 86 UNITY AND COHERENCE11 Review II These pairs of sentences need to be joined together to form English proverbs. Choose the best transition word or phrase to connect each pair. Compare your answers with a partner, and then discuss the possible meaning of each proverb. Don't count your chickens ......... they hatch. 1. before 2. so 3. because b. life gives you lemons, make lemonade. 1. Before 2. When 3. Because c. Time flies ... 1. after 2. although 3. when you're having fun. d. You can lead a horse to water, . you can’t make it drink. 1. and 2. but 3. or e. Laugh, . the world laughs with you. Cry, . you cry alone. 1. and, but 2. and,and =~ 3. but, but f. You don't know what water is worth ......... your well is dry. 1. because 2. after 3. until 12. Think of one or two proverbs in your language and translate them into English. Share yours with the class. Then choose one of the proverbs and write a paragraph explaining its meaning. UNITY AND COHERENCE 872 Essays For Examinations In this unit, you will learn ... = common instructions for essay tests. = techniques for writing timed essays and managing time. > Essay tests You may be asked to write essays for tests in your classes, or in entrance examinations for colleges and universities in English-speaking countries. You will have to write essays if you take the TOEFL (Test of English as a Foreign Language), the MELAB (Michigan English Language Assessment Battery), the IELTS (International English Language Testing System) or other Cambridge examinations (University of Cambridge ESOL Examinations). ‘These essays are written at one sitting, in a limited amount of time. Timed essays | You probably already have some experience and ideas that will be useful to you when P ly Pe y you write timed essays. Discuss the following questions with a partner or group. a. Have you ever written timed essays in your own language? Describe the situation(s). b. Have you ever written timed essays in English? Describe the situation(s). ¢. In what situations will you write timed essays in English in the future? d. What are some ways in which writing a timed essay is different from writing an essay without a time limit? Make a list. Then Jook at your list and say which aspects might be challenging for you. e. Do you know any good techniques for writing timed essays? Share them with your partner or group. 88 ESSAYS FOR EXAMINATIONS