M A N AG ING

Emotions influence how we live and interact with each other. The choices
we make, the actions we take, and the perceptions we have, are all influenced
by the emotions we experience at any given moment.

WHEEL OF EMOTIONS Basic Emotions

With over 34,000 distinguishable emotions, There are eight primary emotions,
psychologist Robert Pluchik has elegantly which are grouped into four pairs
SERENITY

simplified and organized our of polar opposites:

instinctive state of mind into
Joy - Sadness
eight basic emotions in his
Wheel of Emotions. Anger - Fear

CE
IN

AN
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IMI SM
PT
JOY

Trust - Disgust
RE

OP T LO CE
ST

VE
AC

Surprise - Anticipation
AN
TI

T
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US
S
PA

TR
ES

ECSTASY
TI
EN

ON
SI V

ON
RES

VI

SU B
I
GI

AT
AG G

LA

IR

MIS S
NC

M
AD
E

ION

ANNOYANCE ANGER RAGE TERROR FEAR APPREHENSION

CO N T E

AM
G
IN
MP

AZ
H

EM
AT
T

LO

GRIEF

EN

E
AW
T

Combinations Intensity
SU
T
US

RP

Adding emotions The degree of change

SG

RI

RE
SE
DI

together produces MO from mild to strong

SADNESS

RS
new ones, E AL produces additional
DI

ROV
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DIS A PP
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DO

for example: emotions, for example:

RA
RE

CT
BO

IO

Trust + Fear = Submission Annoyance > Anger > Rage

N
PENSIVENESS

Joy + Trust = Love Distraction > Surprise > Amazement

Anticipation + Joy = Optimism Serenity > Joy > Ecstasy

EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS ARE OFTEN USED INTERCHANGEABLY, BUT…

Emotions are instinctive and Feelings are mental associations and
neurological reactions to a stimulus, creating reactions to an emotion that we assign
biochemical and electrical reactions activated with a particular meaning, influenced by our
through neuro-transmitters and hormones personal experiences, temperament, beliefs,
released by the brain (e.g., frightened by the memories, and thoughts (e.g., excited that
cat jumping on you from behind). your favorite sports team won the game).
 UNDERSTANDING YOUR EMOTIONS
The emotions we feel have a subjective, physiological, and expressive component – how we experience the
emotion and how our body reacts to the emotion can influence the actions we take and the decisions we make
to help us survive, avoid danger, form social connections, and thrive.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ARE EXPERIENCING AN EMOTION?

Positive Response:
Circumstances: You’re Pause. Take a few breaths and reflect
juggling multiple dead- Mental state: on why you are angry. Proceed with
lines and did not sleep You feel attacked and/or thoughtful words or actions that will
well the night before feel disappointment support you in the moment

Emotional State: Ambiguous Response:

Trigger Event: Someone Anger Avoid them and walk away
harshly disagreed with you

Negative Response:
Memory: You’re Physical state: Argue and / or belittle them
reminded of a bully Heart rate goes up, body
tensed, jaw clenched

SOURCE: Adapted from “Atlas of Emotions” by Dr Paul Akman and his daughter Eve Ekman. http://atlasofemotions.org/

MAPPING YOUR EMOTIONAL ENERGY

Survival Zone Performance Zone Positive and negative energy
• Angry • Energized Positive emotions like joy, trust, and surprise makes us feel good
• Frustrated • Connected and are easy to grasp. Negative emotions are typically unpleasant
HIGH

• Tense • Challenged but just as important. It is an inevitable part of life and something we
• Defensive • Hopeful need to experience to appreciate a full, rich life. Fear can help protect
• Fearful • Aligned us from harm; and disgust can help us reject what is unhealthy.
• Anxious • Passionate
High and low intensity
Constantly looking over your shoulder, feeling tensed and anxious,
or fearful and frustrated from making mistakes is draining and can
eventually lead to feeling hopeless, defeated, and depressed.
N E G AT I V E POSITIVE Conversely, feeling energized, challenged, and passionate allows
you to perform at your best but, without proper rest and recovery,
can also lead to exhaustion and burnout.
Burnout Zone Recovery Zone
Short and long duration
• Exhausted • Carefree
The same primal instinct that enables our fight-or-flight response to
• Burned out • Peaceful
avoid being eaten by the saber-toothed tiger can also come in handy
• Defeated • Resting
LOW

when someone cuts us off in traffic. The event triggers heightened

• Hopeless • Mellow
awareness and quick reactions; the burst of emotion and annoyance
• Sad • Relaxed
at the driver is short-lived. On the other hand, ruminating over a
• Grieving • Mind-
work disappointment or suffering a loss of a relationship can have
wandering
an emotional response that is long-lasting and can impact our
mental health and emotional well-being.

THE IMPORTANCE OF MEANINGFUL SOCIAL CONNECTIONS

Research has shown that People who feel
social connectedness often connected to others:
drives an upward spiral of
positive emotions and can • have 50% increased
improve physical health, chance of longevity
and mental and • have lower levels of
emotional well-being. anxiety and depression
• are more trusting and cooperative
• have better emotion regulation skills
• have stronger immunity
• have higher self-esteem
• have greater empathy
Source: http://ccare.stanford.edu/uncategorized/
connectedness-health-the-science-of-social-connection-infographic/
USING YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional intelligence or EQ is the ability to recognize and understand that emotions can drive behaviors with
positive or negative impact to self and others. Learning how to manage those emotions for yourself will also
give you the insight to help influence the emotions of others to create better human connections.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE MATRIX

PERSONAL COMPETENCE SOCIAL COMPETENCE
My ability to maintain awareness of my My ability to understand others
emotions and manage my behaviors to improve relationships

RECOGNITION SELF AWARENESS SOCIAL AWARENESS

What I SEE How am I accurately perceiving Do I accurately perceive and understand
(Mindfulness) and understanding my emotions? the emotions and behaviors of others?
• Feelings and emotional impact • Empathy
to self and others • Organizational culture
• Values that drive your emotions • Service orientation
• Objectivity • Assessing the mood in the room
• Triggers • Picking up verbal and non-verbal cues
• Preferences/Tendencies • Sensitivity to others’ feelings
• Strengths/Limitations • Shifting perspective
• Ability/Capabilities

REGULATION SELF MANAGEMENT RELATIONSHIP MANAGEMENT

What I DO How am I managing my emotions Do I work well with others and
(Empowerment) and behavior productively? impact others effectively?
• Impulse/Self control • Communication/Interpersonal effectiveness
• Adaptability/Resilience • Influence/Change catalyst
• Motivation/Drive • Teamwork/Collaboration/Comradery
• Transparency • Inspirational leadership
• Optimism/Positive outlook • Conflict management
• Conscientiousness/Integrity • Developing others/Coaching/Mentoring
• Take Initiative • Building trust/Bonds/Rapport
• Intentionality/Choosing how • Finding common ground
to act/React • Amplify positive emotions

TIPS TO HELP YOU MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS

When strong emotions arise, a few Exercise and other forms of
deep breaths can often help you feel active movement release the
calmer. Yes, it’s that simple. feel-good chemicals in the

CAL
Mindfulness meditation practice can brain. Group classes like yoga,
help you pay attention to your body Pilates, indoor cycling, or
SI Y
PHYTIVIT
and alert you when your emotions organized hikes and walking
are taking over. tours can further enhance
BRE ATHE social bonding.
AC

Gratitude
Be kind to others and share your Learn to let go and be open and
appreciation. Kindness is a accepting of what is going on around
& behavioral response of empathy
and compassion with actions that
you. Don’t forget to be gentle with
yourself and avoid excessive self-
are selfless and can lead to a sense
of interconnectedness with others.
criticism. Journaling and reflection
will help you appreciate the
SELF
Kindness
When you focus on others, you goodness that surrounds you.
stop worrying about yourself.
COMPASSION
Don’t bottle it up. Spend time with When you have negative
C NNECT friends and family. Establish a strong
support system. Be authentic and
thoughts, reflect on the
underlying cause and try
with share what’s going on — the good,
the bad, the ugly. Don’t just vent.
to redefine and reframe
them with a positive
THERS Be a good listener too.
Invite others to share and
attitude before you
make mountains CHALLENGE
learn from their perspectives. out of molehills. NEGATIVE BIAS
 EMOTIONAL AGILITY
When an event triggers an emotion, there is a space between the stimulus and response to pause before
reacting. This allows you to see and choose your thoughts, then shift your response with more considered
words and actions to determine a desired positive outcome.

BUILDING EMOTIONAL AGILITY

To avoid operating on autopilot and resorting to default behaviors, psychologist Dr. Susan David
outlines four key concepts to get unstuck, embrace change, and thrive in work and life:

Showing Up: Stepping Out:

Emotions are, by their very nature, strong, instinctive states of We typically fall into thinking traps that cloud our minds
mind and often difficult to ignore. Practicing mindfulness will unnecessarily and incessantly. When you can step back to create
help you focus your attention on the present moment and to distance, observe and disentangle thoughts from feelings, label
recognize your emotional them objectively, and start to see the big picture with informed
patterns without judgement. clarity — that you are not your emotion — then you can use
Be open to face your emotional intelligence strategically.
thoughts, emotions, and
behaviors with courage,
curiosity, and compassion.
Acknowledge that denying or
ignoring negative thoughts
aren’t helpful and it’s better
to learn from them to disrupt
the pattern and initiate
meaningful change.

Sometimes strong emotions like “Anger” can mask other feelings Shift from “I’m angry!” to “I notice that I’m experiencing anger.”
that are vulnerable like “Shame” or “Embarrassment.” Identify possible causes of the emotional event based on facts
not interpretation.

Walking Your Why: Moving On:

You are a person with values and commitments and in your Leave the negativity behind. Emotional agility is not a natural
emotional journey, always have a choice for the path forward. or inherent quality. You can acquire and strengthen this ability
Avoid just checking the list off but instead focus on the quality through practice. Making small changes and shifting your
of your actions and motivations. Your core values provide the mindset to condition new habitual patterns can create a big
compass and guardrails so that your emotions do not impact to how you experience your emotions in your life.
overwhelm you. You Developing competency infused with your core values will help
VA
can stay the course L you stay motivated to improve your circumstances, mood,
knowing that your and relationships with others.
U
ES

response and behavior

are moving ahead in
a meaningful way.

Does this action fit with my values? If not, what else could I do Make small deliberate tweaks to your mindset, motivation,
that might fit better? and habits. Move from being complacent or overwhelmed
to excited, enthusiastic, or invigorated.

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