Charvi Sharma

Professor Marcus Vines

Description:

On the 5th of November 2021, I decided to observe my usual group of friends during the

time period of 5:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., and violate the norm observed the next day on the 6 th of

November 2021 within the same time period. The friend group consisted of 5 girls excluding

myself and 6 boys. Out of the girls, 2 were ethnically Indian, 2 were mixed-race with Japanese

and Caucasian, and 1 was Caucasian. Out of the boys, 3 were ethnically Indian, 1 was Caucasian,

and 2 were ethnically Arab. The ages of the individuals present were all within the range of 19-

20 years old. The general atmosphere of this setting was casual, just friends enjoying each

other’s company on a weekend.

In such a setting, I observed everyone’s normal behavior consisted of engaging in light-

hearted conversations, consumption of snacks and beverages from whoever hosts, and

watching television together. The conversations however separated the two gender groups

from each other as the girls engaged in topics about social media, other individuals they knew,

or general eventful updates of their lives. On the other hand, the boys seemed to focus more

on football, gaming, or male players involved in certain sports. The girls sat and talked, paying

little to no attention to the game playing on the television, that the boys wanted to watch. The

boys were also a lot more physical with each other, where jokes included physical slaps or

chasing each other around. The usage of certain slang words was also more frequent by the

boys. The boys addressed each other with terms such as “bro”, “dude”, or other insulting terms

– being rude as a joke. The girls however, addressed every other individual by their respective
Charvi Sharma
Professor Marcus Vines
Soc1001: Introduction to Sociology
29 November 2021

names and showed little to no physical contact besides their initial greeting. Initial greetings by

the girls included hugging everyone in the room including the boys whereas the boys only

hugged the girls in response but “dapped up” other boys in the room – a form of a handshake.

In order to violate this norm, I decided to perform a role reversal. I planned on following

the typical behavior of a boy in my friend group rather than that of me as a girl. I referred to

each boy as “bro” and “dapped them up” as my form of greeting. I decided to also “dap up” the

girls as a form of greeting instead of hugging them as would be expected by me. Throughout

the night, I planned on sitting within the circle of boys and paying complete attention to the

game and pretending to know the players they were speaking of. Additionally, I also altered my

body language to be more masculine by manspreading when seated and increasing the

loudness of my tone. After doing so, I observed and noted every individual’s reaction to my

norm violation.

In general, the reactions by the girls were a lot more judgmental than that of the boys.

Most girls gave me concerned or surprised looks but continued to observe from a distance. One

girl laughed out loud and asked me what was wrong with me. The only girl that created an

exception with her reaction was the one that started copying my behavior, thinking it was part

of a joke. When asked about their thoughts in the moment, all girls agreed to silently judging

me and being caught off-guard by my sudden change in behavior. One girl also mentioned

thinking that I was a “pick-me” girl. This term refers to a woman who acts like she is unlike

other women to gain male validation or attention. Most guys were unphased by my change in
Charvi Sharma
Professor Marcus Vines
Soc1001: Introduction to Sociology
29 November 2021

behavior and played along as if I truly were a boy. When I tried dapping them up, 5 boys

performed the handshake with no hesitation. However, one stopped to ask what was going on.

However, when I seemed interested in football, all the boys called me out instantly and were

extremely confused by my sudden interest in the sport. I was asked multiple times by the boys

why I was not sitting with the rest of the girls. And the girls came up to me multiple times to

start a conversation. Towards the end of the evening, I was also asked by the girls if I was upset

with them as a last effort by them to make sense of my actions. Over time, the boys started

referring to me the same way they refer to their male friends ironically, calling me “bro”

whenever I called them “bro”. The overall conversations on that night included a lot of

questions and confused remarks which was usually not the case.

Analysis:

To better understand these responses, we can further look into the concepts relating to

norm violations. A social norm can be described as values or beliefs held in society that set

guidelines for acceptable behavior within that society. This is important because it helps us

maintain order to ensure a smooth functioning of social foundations through formal and

informal sanctions. Violating such norms can be referred to as deviance and results in sanctions.

These sanctions can be positive reactions of approval or negative reactions of disapproval. The

social norm examined in this fieldwork assignment was gender roles and behaviors associated

with such roles. Individuals observed in this assignment responded with informal sanctions such

as surprise and laughter because they were used to girls acting a certain way when within the
Charvi Sharma
Professor Marcus Vines
Soc1001: Introduction to Sociology
29 November 2021

group. However, the only girl that responded by imitating my behavior may have done so

because she was the friendliest with me. Girls were a lot more concerned because in society

there are many more norms concerning the behavior of women. This includes how they should

dress, talk, walk, sit, eat, etc. And whenever these norms are broken, it if often other women

that are the quickest to respond with sanctions. In this case, the sanctions showcased by the

girls included looks of disapproval, confusion, and concern. Furthermore, secretive whispers

that were later revealed to be about my actions were also observed. This could have eventually

led to an exclusion from the group of girls. The only positive sanction to this norm violation was

showcased by the boys in the form of laughter and a slight look of amusement.

Discussion:

I found it slightly uncomfortable having to violate the social norm created within my

friend group. This was because I had a subconscious fear of being judged by my friends and

feeling left out from the girls as my social integration was threatened. I also felt like I was

embarrassing myself, had eyes on me in a negative light, and the actions I performed felt

extremely unnatural to me. However, I do not think the sanctions that were used as response

to my norm violation were racially motivated and would have remained unchanged despite my

race. However, a change in class or age group may have resulted in different responses. If the

age group where this norm was violated consisted of older individuals, I believe the sanctions

would have been much more obvious. This may be because the younger generation is

considered much more open-minded and closed off to sexist gender norms. Furthermore, as
Charvi Sharma
Professor Marcus Vines
Soc1001: Introduction to Sociology
29 November 2021

you move up higher in social class, expectations of your behavior increase, and norm violations

can often result in you being labeled as an outcast. In many cultures there are more cultural

norms created for women than men and punishments for women are often harsher. If II

continued to violate the norm created, I believe I would experience social isolation from the

friend group as I did not exactly fit into the conformities created by that group.

I think this speaks volumes about how powerful and effective social norms can be. This

is because such norms ensure social consensus through a system of “unwritten rules”, meaning

many actions can be corrected or punished without the involvement of any legal authorities.

This makes the functioning of society much easier as smaller acts of deviance can be corrected

by society and law enforcement institutions can focus on the macro-scale, larger acts of

deviance such as crime.