Palawan State University

Bachelor of Science in Social Work

BSSW – 2R

Gender and Society

Major Output 1: Reflection

Tarhati L. Palasigue
Lesson 1:
From your learnings about sex and gender, please share any personal experiences that may
relate to these concepts. What have you realized in so far as your life transition as a girl to
woman or boy to man is concerned? How does it affect the way you perceived yourself now
based on your gender?
Biologically, I consider myself as a female because I have vagina and I have female
attributes. In teenage years, I was always curious why there are people whom based on my
standard, considered themselves as lesbian or gay because growing up, I thought sex and
gender is the same. It also doesn’t help that in our family, being part of LGBTQ+ is
considered abnormality hence it isn’t fully accepted. Additionally, in my younger years, it
was never the trend to explore activities, clothing selection as well as future professions
because I’ve always thought that there are restrictions in choosing these matters when it
comes to being a girl. That becoming a girl is only for fancy things, conservative dresses,
and the best profession that would fit for you is teaching. On the other hand, I have
observed before that men are supposed to be strong and rough otherwise one will be
considered as gay. I also formed hatred towards men because I always thought they can be
the only one who can do violence. However, growing up I’ve also felt the pressure the
society putting to men because if they won’t meet the standard, they are considered weak.
In general, by society’s definition and way of acceptance, women can cry because it is
normal for them to be emotional but if men do that, they are gay. Being part of LGBTQ+
is labeled as ‘salot sa lipunan’ just because they choose to express themselves. And women
being catcalled is their fault because they have big boobs and big butts just because they
dressed up to what they call ‘sluty’ outfits.
That is why, when I hit the transition from being a close-minded girl to becoming an
empowered woman, I realized I offended so many people and did so many inappropriate
things. I realized that sex refers to the biological aspects of a person and that gender is
something that is fluid. I’ve also realized that there are 73 genders that it could differ based
on how a person identify oneself. I’ve also realized that there shouldn’t be limitations when
it comes to gender because it is a basic human right to have freedom and express ourselves
in a way that we won’t disrespect other people’s dignity. It affects me in a way that I am
more eager to educate myself rather than keeping myself ignorant. I am also more sensitive
into this kind of matters, and I always prioritize the sensitivity of its importance unlike
before that I opted to act irrational and insensitive towards a person. The transition also
made me become more active into achieving what I think is the best for myself and using
my femineity as a weapon to empower myself instead of pointing out my weakness.
Lesson 2:
What are your thoughts about how gender is portrayed in your community? How can you
describe your discovery of your sexuality, your sense of being male or female? How does you,
being a female or male influence your family’s and peer’s expectations from you?
Society is full of irony. Gender is one of their basis to identify someone’s worth. In our
community, if a woman has a long hair, petite, and slender, she is admired. Pink is the
standard color for a woman. If someone act or looks the opposite such as having a bob cut,
someone is considered a lesbian because of everyone’s expectations to what a characteristic
of a woman should be. On the other hand, men are supposed to only like muted colors like
gray, blue, and black because those are supposed to be the colors for boys. Girls plays the
role of mother hence father for boys because otherwise, it would be awkward if the girl
became the father, and the boy became the mother. In a famous play ‘bahay-bahayan’ of
children, there isn’t a position for LBTQ+ because for society it is not normal. I have
thought it repeatedly and I realized how toxic the society can be. Someone’s identity,
orientation and expression are limited only for man and a woman and if someone isn’t fit,
it is his or her fault.
Growing up, I realized I am a girl, a she, and a woman. I like boys, and I prefer those who
are good looking. I like fancy things like jewelries, shoes and revealing clothes. But there
are times that I choose to act rough just like other boys and I realized it should be normal.
In comfortable days, I like baggy clothes and I like black, white, and blue more than pink.
I don’t want to be a housewife however I want to have a child. These characteristics led me
to my identity and somehow because of it, my environment expected me things that comes
along with it. My family expected me to behave and act accordingly. They also expected
me to like girly things since I am a girl. They expected me to dislike or at least do the
supposed things that contradicts to what men does. My peers expected the same thing.
Sometimes they understand that I am emotional or moody because it is part of being a
woman. However, these expectations may have led to become a great person, in the end I
am aware that the decision and freedom is in my power.

Lesson 3:
Based on your learning, list down at least five significant influences that happened in your
life that were associated with patriarchy and how this affected your gender identity.
1. As a girl, I am expected to follow to what our father dictates us. There are rules in our
house that we are obliged to follow to prove our respect to our father.
2. I have two sisters, along with our mother we usually do the chores in our house because
we were told that these activities are for women and not for men.
3. When it comes to power distribution, my father holds the most of it. For instance, when it
comes to making decisions, he always hold the power to decide whether it would do good
for us or not and if he decides it’s not, his decision is absolute.
 4. Back then, I had a boyfriend and I told him once that when we got married, I will not be
using his last name for the reason that I strived hard to make a name for myself and I think
it would be such a waste not to carry it in our field but then he firmly said ‘no’ and that I
shouldn’t do it my way. Good thing I broke up with him.
5. Being part of Islamic community, patriarchy greatly affects our culture. One example is
that a man is okay to have wife as much as he wants as long as he can provide for all of
them. For me, this tolerates the cheating culture especially for men that is why this kind of
attitude is normalized in some marriages because they have the power and women just have
to deal with it naturally.
6. When it comes to income, I always worry that men can conclude his wife as his dependent
but the same thing isn’t applicable for women. In addition, it somehow scares me that
women’s taxes get only the chance to become lower she had children.

Lesson 6:
How important is language in promoting gender equality and inclusiveness? How can you
promote gender equality in your written and spoken words in your daily life in reference to
the guidelines in the use of gender fair language?
Language is the identity of a person. Before, verbal abuse is considered normal since it has
been part of the culture of Filipinos to speak straight forward without considering the
sensitivity of the person. Language can be hurtful, we must understand. In the generation,
I am very thankful that this matter takes to consideration, and I believe that people are
slowly developing however, we cannot argue some still cannot understand the importance
of it. Promoting gender equality and inclusiveness comes with the understanding that
language can be a great weapon for all people, in all genders, to unite, plays cooperation
and to speak for what is right. If a person doesn’t feel included to the group, do we expect
him or her to participate fully? Of course, s/he won’t. That is why it is a good practice for
me that we should try to act sensitive at all times in every situation especially to those who
will definitely mark for someone. I may not be perfect but just to relate with someone
circumstances, I try to put myself in the person’s situation and try to analyze what will I
feel if that person would say something that I don’t like. Another thing is, I always keep in
mind what would be the most rational response to someone but on the other hand would
be realistic.
Overall, I am aware and sorry in some situations that I know I’ve become insensitive and
of course I always try to improve myself. The most important thing is I know I learned
from that mistake and would try to do better next time.
Lesson 7:
Do men in your society also experience gender bias?
Yes. I think the difficulties of women overshadowed men that’s why sometimes their
difficulties are being set aside. With influences of social institutions, men are expected to
do some duties dictated by society. For instance, men are expected to provide for their
family since they are perceived to be physically strong as well as, they are expected to do
heavy duties. Another is the mindset that ‘men don’t cry’ because the are supposed to be
emotionally strong. Some may think that men have to think rational, have better mindsets,
and marry someday because the society depicts that men can’t live without a woman by
his side. These biases somehow feel heavy for men, and it is sad that sometimes when it
comes to violence, they can’t be the victim because men are supposed to be the
perpetrators. There are also times that women overpower men, for instance in marriage,
men are being abused verbally by women however can’t have the voice to talk back
because they are afraid that their wives might take it in an offensive way.

Do my views about men affect my own decisions and behaviors about gender?
Yes. In a sense that it urges me to do what is right and look behind to make sure that no
one is left behind. I am more eager to fight for gender equality and empower all genders. I
now truly understand how feminism should be done in society without compromising the
preferences of everyone.

How do I feel when men are treated as abusers or perpetrators of violence?

Honestly, before I thought it should be that way however, now I feel sad and somehow, I
feel like I am quite responsible for their difficulties in the society. Violence shouldn’t be
based on gender rather, we could’ve seen it in a way that violence is expected to come from
any perpetrator from all genders. It doesn’t also help that mass media only portrays men as
the bad ones and sees women as only the victim, in the end, it creates more biases toward
both sexes.

How do I feel when people discriminate others on the basis of their gender preference?
I feel very disappointed at the same time think that people should do better next time. But
at the same time, I realized that those attitudes may have become the effects of certain
causes such as the influences of family, culture, peers and other social institutions.
However, as man is capable of rational thinking and reasoning, it would be better if next
time, there would be development when it comes to bad attitudes like discrimination and
people should try to transcend instead of participating in the latter.
Lesson 8:
What have been the contributions of women in your community?
There are a lot of women do in our community. One example are the women who works as
barangay health workers. They are the women who make sure that every residents in our
community have access to basic health care necessities especially children and pregnant
women. They also play a big role in every social welfare implementation like feeding
programs as well every free health consultation in our barangay hall. Another is the
kagawads who makes sure that no women will be left behind. Day care facilitators that
contribute to shape the younger generation into more valuable people in the future. The are
also mothers who care for their family as well other people’s family be it their extended
family or neighbor. There are also younger women who participates in activities such as
clean-up drive, donation drive, supplemental feedinga that contributes for the betterment
of our community. Lastly, we have pastora to make sure that spiritual necessities of people
are being catered.

What approaches have they utilized for development of women?

I think gender and development approach was utilized. It makes sense that every roles in
society is properly distributed with proper communication and without excluding the other
sex.

What needs to be done further to address women’s concerns?

Based on my observations, some women still concern about their income capacity. BHW
salary is very small given the sacrifices they do in our community, and I think this should
be address immediately. Another thing is the necessary livelihood for women because I
sometimes heard some housewives that they have income insecurity because they think
their role in their family is not enough and some reason out that they are starting to forget
about their selves, wanting also to buy some of their necessities and personal wants. I
realized because of this, that mothers have so many things to do yet their sacrifices are not
being acknowledged by everyone. In addition, I personally think that the issue in feminism
should be addressed. Some men formed hatred towards women because they don’t fully
understand how feminism works. I added this in a sense that women also perceived this
issue in a wrong way, and it is my personal initiative to at least make both sexes understand
that there shouldn’t be competition between them, instead, we should form a great
collaboration for the betterment of society as well as self-growth.