The Flintstones
The Flintstones
The Flintstones
FOR EDUCATIONAL
PURPOSES ONLY
THE FLINTSTONES
FADE IN:
1 EXT. SLATE QUARRY - DAY 1
3 ANOTHER ANGLE 3
FRED
YABBA DABBA DO -- !
Fred happily discards his hard hat, leaps out of the
canvas-roofed cab on the dino's back, slides down the
tail and bounces right into the seat of his stone and
timber car! He gets up to a running start with the only
motor (his feet), slows to allow a "time clock" dinosaur
to punch his stone timecard, and then he's trotting back
up to speed and out of the gate! MUSIC comes UP and
OVER --
MUSIC (V.O.)
'Flintstones,
Meet the Flintstones,
They're a modern
Stone age fam-i-ly --'
4 CONTINUED: 4
Fred's feet slap on the street as the car starts
up --
MUSIC (V.O.)
'From the
Town of Bedrock
They're a page right
Out of his-tor-y -- '
5 DRIVE-IN MOVIE THEATRE - DUSK 5
7 NEW ANGLE 7
7 CONTINUED: 7
Nestled incongruously in a savage landscape, the charming
protosuburbia gleams in the dawn's early Spielberg light.
9 A MILKMAN 9
who returns the wave, then takes a four-pack of stone
bottles out of his milk truck, heads towards a doorway.
As the milkman drops off the milk, he passes a big
TORTOISE with trash cans on its back. The Tortoise
nods familiarly to the milkman, then it waddles down the
curb, CAMERA FOLLOWING. The garbage men take the cans
off the Tortoise's back, dump them into the truck.
10 REAR OF TRUCK 10
-- revealing that the back of the truck is actually a
giant-jawed CREATURE strapped onto the chassis. The
garbage men dump the cans into its maw... it happily
swallows the works, licks its lips, BELCHES.
11 BACK TO SCENE 11
LITTLE MAMMOTH
(sotto)
Oh, my aching sinuses...
RADIO WOODPECKER
(sotto)
I hate this job... There's not
even a health plan...
16 CONTINUED: 16
Perched on top of the wooden radio tower are a monkey
and an octopus. The monkey holds up cue cards which the
octopus reads, and then waves nautical semaphore flags.
17 BACK TO SCENE 17
RADIO WOODPECKER
(deeper "on-air" voice)
Good morning, Bedrock. This is
station B-R-O-K with the morning
weather and news...
18 IN THE BED 18
The big bulge GRUNTS and MUTTERS a bit, then one hand
gropes around, finds the curvaceous form under the
neighboring covers... feels it tentatively... then
the fingers "walk" upwards...
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)
It will be fair and mild through
the weekend, continuing for the
next eight hundred years, followed
by cooling breezes and a protracted
ice age...
Those walking fingers have reached the top edge of the
covers... now they pull them down revealing the owner's
face... the face of Fred, his eyes at half-mast, his
face covered in fashionable "Bedrock Vice" stubble.
FRED
(with genuine charm)
Wil-ma. Wil-ma? How about a
great big good morning kiss for
your Freddy-weddy?
And he pulls the covers down to reveal -- DINO, who is
immediately "YI-YI-YI-YI-ING," hopping all over the bed
and showering Fred with sloppy kisses.
FRED
Dino! Dino, cut it out -- !
(CONTINUED)
6.
18 CONTINUED: 18
RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.) (CONT'D)
Ecological activist Ralph Naderock
warned that if new supplies of
kibble are not found, our animal-
powered civilization itself may be
threatened.
FRED
Dino, that's enough -- here, look,
Daddy has a nice dino bone for
you, just please stop it --
WILMA
Fred, stop playing with Dino and
sit down. Your breakfast's
getting cold.
(CONTINUED)
7.
19 CONTINUED: 19
FRED
(throwing open the
door)
Oooh, Dino, look -- there's a
nice big dino bone laying out on
the front lawn -- !
FRED
(sitting down)
And what's wrong with my leftovers?
WILMA
I'll let you know when I see
some.
(CONTINUED)
8.
19 CONTINUED: (2) 19
PEBBLES
Mommy, is the bad Ze-ze-zenosaurus
gonna get me and eat me up?
WILMA
Of course not, baby.
FRED
That's right, sweetheart. The
only thing that's gonna eat you
up is -- me!
(CONTINUED)
9.
19 CONTINUED: (3) 19
FRED
(taking the toast)
Thanks, Wilma...
Fred slaps jelly on the toast, takes a big bite, and then
something outside the window catches his eye.
FRED
Arnold! Arnold! Don't aim at
the house -- please, not at the
house --
WHAM! Fred ducks back just as the stone newspaper slams
into the window frame, SMASHING a FLOWERPOT, taking out
a chunk of wall, and continuing diagonally through the
kitchen and out another window. Fred follows this
action in time to see --
22 HIS DRIVEWAY - THROUGH THE OTHER WINDOW 22
The rock paper drops like a foul shot, rips through the
canvas roof of Fred's car, and then bangs a huge dent
in the hood.
23 BACK TO SCENE 23
Fred sighs, turns back to his breakfast.
WILMA
Lucky it wasn't the Sunday paper.
FRED
(slight smile)
Yeah. What else can go wrong?
24 CONTINUED: 24
In the neighboring driveway, Wilma and Betty pile the
kids into Betty's car.
BETTY
(wiping their mouths)
Come on, kids. Time for nursery
school.
PEBBLES
'Bye-bye, Daddy.
FRED
'Bye, little sweetheart.
(as Wilma clears
her throat)
'Bye, big sweetheart.
Fred kisses them both and they drive off. Fred sighs,
tries to stretch the canvas roof edges close enough to
stitch. Nearby, Dino struggles to drag the stone news-
paper inside the house. The twin headlines are, of
course, KIBBLE CRISIS GROWS and MYSTERIOUS XENOSAURUS
STRIKES AGAIN.
BARNEY
Heh, hey. That Arnold's got a
real arm on him, don't he?
FRED
This is the third ragtop this year
... say, shouldn't you be at work?
BARNEY
Ah, well, that appliance store and
me, we kinda had a little
adjustment --
FRED
You got fired, didn't ya?
(CONTINUED)
11.
24 CONTINUED: (2) 24
BARNEY
Fred, don't start on me again. I
donno, I'm just not a nine to
five guy. I got dreams, Fred.
Ideas --
FRED
Yeah, I know, I know, those
crazy inventions of yours. Be
honest with me, Barn... tell me
one thing you invented that
really caught on.
BARNEY
I invented fire.
FRED
(pause)
You invented fire?
BARNEY
I told you that, Fred. But the
coal conglomerate ripped me off.
The case is still in court, but
meanwhile I got lotsa other
ideas --
FRED
Yeah, but did any one of them
ever put bread on the table? How
long are you and Betty gonna live
on those penny-ante royalties you
get?
FRED
If you ask me, pal, you're just
blowing smoke up your own
volcano...
BARNEY
Maybe, Fred. But first...
CUT TO:
12.
BARNEY
-- Add some lava granules... some
woca leaves... juice from two
coo-coo berries...
FRED
(impressed)
Two coo-coo berries? You made of
money, Barney?
BARNEY
Anything for a pal, Fred -- a
lump of coal... bamboo sawdust...
eucalyptus sap... a touch of the
La Brea tarbrush -- and -- voila.
Barney dips a finger in this mess, "tastes" it;
satisfied, he yanks on a hanging rope and a giant rock
weight slams down on the whole mess, making Fred jump out
of his skin.
26 NEW ANGLE 26
26 CONTINUED: 26
He stops as Barney cranks up the weight on a ratchet,
proudly lifts out a perfect (though greenish) duplicate
of the car hood. As Fred examines it, impressed despite
himself, we...
CUT TO:
MRS. GRANITE
(approaching)
Mrs. Rubble, Mrs. Flintstone, I
wanted to thank you personally.
BETTY
You're welcome, Mrs. Granite. But
we wipe their mouths every day.
MRS. GRANITE
No, no, I mean for all your wonderful
support the past few years. It's
parents like you that make me think
twice about retiring.
(CONTINUED)
14.
27 CONTINUED: 27
From the schoolyard comes the sudden sound of KIDS QUAR-
RELING and then a THUD and some CRYING.
MRS. GRANITE
On the other hand...
WILMA
We're really going to miss you,
too, Mrs. Granite.
MRS. GRANITE
Have you found another school for
the children?
BETTY
We're still shopping around.
WILMA
Fortunately, we're both --
Wilma and Betty straighten... salute.
BARNEY
Not bad, eh? After it cures for an
hour or so, it's solid as a rock.
FRED
Okay, you fixed a dented hood. But
you call that a living? Face it,
pal, this is the Stone Age, and it's
a dino eat dino world. You want my
advice?
BARNEY
Did I ever?
(CONTINUED)
15.
28 CONTINUED: 28
FRED
You stick with me today, cruise on
down to the quarry and fill out a
job application. I'm a big man
there, Barney --
BARNEY
You're a big man anywhere, Fred --
FRED
I'm serious, pal. Me and Mr. Slate
are just like this --
He takes his hand off the wheel to hold up two fingers...
ends up swerving instead.
FRED
-- just like that. I know, I know
-- you're not a clock-punching guy
-- but face it, Barney -- it's time
to grow up and put your nose to the
grindstone, batten down the hatches
and join the ratasaurus race with
the rest of us.
(meaningfully)
It's time to retire those dreams.
Barney looks glum, doesn't say anything. Suddenly Fred
pulls over, stops the car.
FRED
Barney. Look.
29 WIDE SHOT 29
They're at the crest of a high wide hill.
BARNEY
Hey. Lava Lane.
FRED
Remember the old days, Barn? We
used to race our go-carts here to
impress the girls.
BARNEY
(wistful)
Yeah, those were the days... we
usta dream about coming back here
some day with a real car and goin'
for the goldrock...!
(CONTINUED)
16.
29 CONTINUED: 29
BARNEY
Fred... I thought you said it was
time to retire those old dreams.
FRED
Hey. Since when do I have to be
consistent?
The two pals laugh, and then with a whoop they begin
pedalling like mad. They go over the top, gravity takes
over and they are flying past that billboard with all the
Rotary Club welcomes on it. But now we see a different
sort of welcome, as a POLICE CAR ZOOMS out from behind it.
30 POLICE CAR - CLOSER 30
Suddenly both Fred and Barney see the RADAR BIRD flying
alongside them. It checks its stopwatch, writes a note
to itself. Fred is so preoccupied he doesn't notice
as --
33 CONTINUED: 33
FELDSPAR (O.S.)
Forget it, Flintstone. This time
I got you dead to rights --
Fred opens the box. A scary-looking winged reptile
sticks out its head, smacks its hungry lips.
34 BACK TO SCENE 34
Confident, Feldspar jerks a thumb at the Radar Bird,
turns to his rookie partner.
FELDSPAR
Gravel. Get me the radar reading
and I'll show you how we deal with
scofflaws.
36 CONTINUED: 36
LITTLE BIRD
(with a sigh)
Four years in accounting school
for this...
37 INT. BUTCHER SHOP - DAY 37
MORRIS
Ah, my two loveliest customers.
It's this darn kibble crisis, Mrs.
R... people are buying everything
I got to feed their dinos...
MRS. SLATE
Young man, if you're through
flirting, I'd like some service.
38 NEW ANGLE 38
WILMA
(prompting)
We met at the quarry picnic?
MRS. SLATE
Oh, of course. Mrs. Flintstein.
She turns her back to Wilma, forces her way towards the
counter again. Wilma burns.
(CONTINUED)
19.
38 CONTINUED: 38
MORRIS
Ladies, the meat's not getting any
fresher. Mrs. R, what'll it be?
BETTY
Oh, I'd like some ground mammoth
patties and uh... some dodo
drumsticks.
MORRIS
Gino? We got any dodo bird?
MORRIS
You got it. Now then... Mrs.
Slate?
(pointing at the
limo outside the
shop)
You're in a no parking zone there.
(CONTINUED)
20.
38 CONTINUED: (2) 38
MRS. SLATE
Well, if I get some service, I'll
be out of it, won't I?
Mrs. Slate steps to the counter. Meanwhile, the staff
begin using a refrigerator dolly to bring out giant ribs,
steaks and sausages which they pile up in front of Wilma.
MRS. SLATE
I want a nice fresh, juicy
chickensaurus, Morris. And not
one you've had laying around on
the shelf. I mean fresh.
MORRIS
Mrs. Slate, we're kind of busy
now --
MRS. SLATE
I don't care if you're busy. What
I care about is my adorable little
grand nephew. He's staying with
me for the summer and I intend to
make his favorite dish... Southern
fried chickensaurus! Now I want
a fresh chickensaurus and I want
it now!
MORRIS
Boys, you heard her... she said
fresh.
39 THE STAFF 39
MRS. SLATE
(oblivious of the
trouble)
Morris, while you're at it, I'd
like it plucked --
(CONTINUED)
21.
40 CONTINUED: 40
Suddenly the chickensaurus snaps the ropes, flaps its
wings and leaps through the front window --
MRS. SLATE
My car -- !
CUT TO:
43 EXT. SLATE CONSTRUCTION - DAY 43
Clouds of dust rise from behind the fence. We see the
heads of the heavy equipment dinos rising and falling.
A two-story office building is at one end of the site
with a big "Slate Construction Inc." sign on the roof.
CAMERA ADJUSTS as Fred's car turns into the lot, Barney
seated beside Fred. The new green hood gleams in the
morning light.
44 CLOSER - FRED'S CAR 44
Fred digs his feet into the ground, slams to a halt. He
gets out, surveys the activity. Immediately, the various
workers shout AD LIB greetings. Fred acknowledges these,
beaming in the respect he gets here.
FRED
Barney, you won't regret this --
hiya, Al -- fixing dents in cars
is one thing, a career's another.
Here, you're getting in on the
ground floor of the first footstep
of a new leaf -- hi, Wally, how's
the old backhand? And with a guy
like me ta show you the ropes, you
can skip all the red tape, all the
malarky, all the dino doo --
22.
45 NEW ANGLE 45
Fred stands near the weight station booth, where a plump
GIRL in a beehive hairdo sits inside a trailer.
GIRL
(New York accent)
Hi, Mr. Flintstone.
FRED
Hiya, Shirley. This is my very
special neighbor and pal Barney
Rubble. He needs an application
form, okay?
GIRL
Anything for you, Mr. Flintstone.
FRED
My pleasure, Shirl. Anytime.
GIRL
Okay. But do you think next time
we could go to the same game?
FRED
(confidently)
No problem.
Fred smiles at her, hands the forms to Barney. Fres steps
towards the quarry, admires the activity, hands on hips,
master of all he surveys. He waves to more friends.
FRED
Well, Barn, what did I tell you?
When you're in with Flintstone,
you're in like Flint.
BARNEY
Gee, Fred. I knew you were a big
shot. I just didn't know how big.
Fred beams at that, and then follows Barney's gaze to
the read-out on the truck scale. Fred is standing on it
and it's pushing 250. With a scowl, Fred grabs Barney's
sleeve and they go into the quarry. As they move, the
CAMERA PANS and CRANES UP TOWARDS the window of the
Slate Construction Office.
CUT TO:
23.
BARNEY
(to himself)
Social Security number...
dependents... 'how learned of job'
... newspaper ad, carrier pigeon...
(writing)
... Personal reference...
Hearing a loud SMASH, Fred looks up and sees --
50 WIDER 50
Piltdown's compact buddy PYRITE cackles, sweeps up the
walnuts. Munching them, he balances a new one in place.
(It should be noted here that the relationship and physi-
cal appearances of Piltdown and Pyrite mirrors that of
our heroes... they're sort of an anti-Fred and Barney.)
PYRITE
Way ta go, Pilty baby. Five bucks
says you can't hit one on the fly.
PILTDOWN
(calling up)
Yer on, Pyrite --
Pyrite tosses a walnut, which bounces on the ledge. The
wrecking BALL SMASHES into the stone wall.
51 BELOW 51
PILTDOWN
Yeah? Sez who?
FRED
Says me, Fred Flintstone -- shop
steward of Amalgamated Neolithic
Workers 101.
PILTDOWN
Yeah? Well, A.N.W. one-oh-one gives
us workers a snack break. So...
(a nasty grin)
... I'm breakin' some snacks.
52 UP ABOVE 52
This time he's overdone it: The wrecking ball flies past
the walnuts -- Pyrite ducks for cover -- and then the
wrecking ball whips over and around the handrail which
runs along here, twisting as tightly as Indiana Jones'
whip. The handrail wobbles dangerously in its
foundation --
53 PILTDOWN'S DINO 53
SNORTS, backs up -- the crane SUPPORTS on its back begin
to CREAK and GROAN with the strain --
54 WIDER 54
Workers scatter, fearful of the imminent collapse. Fred
runs to grab the dino's reins.
FRED
Whoa, whoa, big fella --
He calms the beast by giving it a carrot. As it munches,
Fred quickly ties the reins to a post.
FRED
(calling up to the cab)
You're on report, Piltdown! If it's
up to me you'll be pushing a
wheelbarrow!
PILTDOWN
(leaping down)
You've been asking for this,
Flintstone... I'm gonna kick your
fat butt --
FRED
Fat butt? Hold me back, Barney --
(sotto, very sincere)
-- Barney, hold me back --
Quickly the men form a circle around Piltdown and Fred.
Barney looks up and sees --
55 THE CRANE ON THE DINO'S BACK 55
56 BACK TO SCENE 56
BARNEY
Hey, maybe you guys oughta fix
that first.
PILTDOWN
Why should we?
(CONTINUED)
26.
56 CONTINUED: 56
BARNEY
It looks dangerous. Besides, you
can kick Fred's fat butt anytime.
FRED
Yeah. That's right.
(realizing, a glare
at Barney)
I mean -- this ain't over, Piltdown.
(turning, shouting)
Come on, guys. Let's clean up the
mess.
With much grumbling, ropes and grappling hooks are
gathered and the crew hops to it...
57 CONTINUED: 57
SLATE
What's that?
LAVA
(worried)
Sounds like a worker's comp claim
if I ever heard one...
FRED
Barney! Grab that line! Hurry!
Barney scrambles up Fred's back, shoving a foot in Fred's
face, but finally snatching the rope. He pulls on it...
Fred throws his own weight into the effort...
59 THE CRANE 59
THUDS into place on the dino's back -- the workers cheer --
60 THE WRECKING BALL 60
alas, with its cable now twisted shorter, it's become an
immovable object, and as the shortened CABLE SNAPS, the
wrecking ball begins to roll down the quarry wall.
61 NEW ANGLE 61
Men and ANIMALS YELP and dive out of the way as the BALL
rolls downwards, SMASHING everything in its path.
62 EXT. SLATE'S OFFICE WINDOW 62
70 CONTINUED: 70
BARNEY
Hey, nice going, Fred. You even
got the spare --
FRED
Barney, shut up --
(turning)
Mr. Slate -- Mr. Slate -- are you
all right?
Slate staggers to his feet, seething with fury. He
finally yanks the car hood free. It bounces and VIBRATES
in his hands like a hand saw.
SLATE
(eying the men)
For five years Slate Construction
has had the finest safety record
in Bedrock.
(pacing, angry)
Our workers are trained in first
aid, our equipment is first rate
and our dinos are worm free. And
then something like this happens
... I want to know how!
A cacophony of voices starts to answer.
SLATE
Shut up!
(in the sudden silence)
I want one person to answer me:
(waving the car hood)
Who's responsible for this?
71 PILTDOWN 71
PILTDOWN
(quickly)
It was Flintstone, Mr. Slate!
PYRITE
That's right, Mr. Slate, it was
Flintstone!
BARNEY
That's a lie, Mr. Slate!
SLATE
Who are you?
(CONTINUED)
30.
71 CONTINUED: 71
BARNEY
(pointing to his forms)
B. Rubble. White male personal
reference --
SLATE
(pushing Barney aside)
Flintstone, I have just one thing
to say to you --
Fred cringes. Piltdown and Pyrite smirk.
SLATE
(pumping his hand)
Congratulations!
FRED PILTDOWN
Huh? What?
SLATE
This stuff you had on your car is
the most incredible building
material I've seen in thirty years
in the construction business!
(testing it)
It's strong --
(twirling it)
-- Light --
(bending it)
-- Resilient --
It rebounds, "SPROINGING" him on the chin. He recovers,
shakes it off.
SLATE
Where on earth did you get it?
FRED
Oh, it's ah, just something I
whipped up in the old garage
workshop --
(quickly)
-- with a little help from my
buddy Barney, right, Barn?
BARNEY
Well, actually, Fred, it was the
other way ar--
Fred hisses between his teeth, repeats the "Slate and me
are just like this" gesture he made earlier, points at
Slate.
(CONTINUED)
31.
71 CONTINUED: (2) 71
BARNEY
(reluctant)
Sure, Fred, right, right.
Slate nods, distracted, his eyes and hands running over
the smooth lines of the car hood.
SLATE
The rest of you men go back to work.
I want to talk to Flintstone and
the personal reference alone. Come
on, move, move...
They go out, Piltdown looking furious.
SLATE
(a man in love)
Light as a Pterodactyl feather...
why, a child could handle this...
Lava, we could cut construction
costs in half... in quarters... in
uh... whatchacallit --
LAVA
(patiently)
Eighths --
SLATE
Eighths, right. Flintstone, what
do you call this stuff?
FRED
Well, Mr. Slate, I call it --
(hesitating, sotto)
-- Barney, what do I call it?
BARNEY
(sotto)
Fibrerock, Fred...
FRED
-- I call it Fibrerock Fred -- !
(realizing)
I mean, ah, 'Fibrerock'!
SLATE
(rolling it over
his tongue)
'Fibrerock'? 'Fibrerock'?
(playing with it)
'Fib-bre-rock' --
71 CONTINUED: (3) 71
SLATE
I love it!
SLATE'S STAFF
(instantly reversing
themselves)
Love it... great... has a nice
ring... says it all, you know?
(Etc...)
Slate takes the piece of material, leans it on the table
so it catches the light. Despite himself, Lava comes
over, examines the car hood... can't help but marvel at
it as well. Meanwhile, Slate puts his arms around Fred
and Barney.
SLATE
(to Lava)
You see this, Lava? All those
courses of yours at Harvrock
University, and who saves my bacon?
Two simple-minded run-of-the-mill
nobodies.
BARNEY
Gee, thanks, Mr. Slate.
Lava glowers. Slate pulls Fred and Barney close with
genuine excitement.
SLATE
Boys, this is a small step for
Slate Construction... a giant step
for all mankind.
He points to the translucent material. CAMERA TIGHTENS
ON it. We see Fred, Barney and Slate's reflections in it.
SLATE
(dramatically)
The Stone Age is over! Let the
Fibre Age begin!
As HEROIC MUSIC STINGS IN, we...
CUT TO:
72 CONTINUED: 72
BETTY
Here we are, Mrs. Slate. Sorry you
had to ride in the back.
MRS. SLATE
(getting out)
Not at all. I'm used to being
driven around.
And she's sashaying up the path. Betty and Wilma burn,
then follow her.
WILMA
Flintstone --
MRS. SLATE
-- oh, it used to be Flintstein -- ?
And this is ah, Becky... Betty!
WILMA
I'm sure.
(CONTINUED)
34.
73 CONTINUED: 73
BETTY
Likewise.
HEADMISTRESS
(waving a hand)
Well, Madame Slate, as you can see,
we remain ze creme de la creme in
the croissant of life known as
Bedrock. Now, your leetle gran'
nephew will be wiz us for two weeks,
no?
(opening a drawer)
Here is ze application for him. An'
mais oui, he weel participate in zee
annual talent show, naturalment?
MRS. SLATE
(amused)
Them? Oh, Marie, really, you don't
understand --
BETTY
(suddenly)
That's right, you don't understand.
My husband's business manager usually
handles this sort of thing, but I
don't mind.
And to Wilma's astonishment, Betty takes one of the
parchments.
BETTY
I know Bam-Bam --
(correcting herself)
-- pardonez-moi, 'Bem-Bem' will love
attending your school and performing
in the talent show. Thank you oh
so much.
WILMA
Let me have one of those, too. For
ma petite Pebbles.
(CONTINUED)
35.
73 CONTINUED: (2) 73
HEADMISTRESS
Of course. Any friend of Madame
Slate is a friend of mine.
As Mrs. Slate reacts, we --
CUT TO:
FRED
(after a moment)
Details, Barney, details...
(smiling)
I just can't wait to see the girls'
faces when we tell 'em the news...
75 INT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - NIGHT 75
(CONTINUED)
36.
75 CONTINUED: 75
WILMA
(seeing this)
It's not like the boys to be so
late.
BETTY
Unless they were forced to go
bowling again. Remember that time
a burglar pointed a gun at them
and said, 'go bowling right now'?
WILMA
Betty, sometimes you're a little
too gullible --
BETTY
Don't tell me. I still can't
believe what I did today...
WILMA
No kidding.
(indicating the forms)
Do you have any idea of what the
enrollment fee is? And get this...
it's non-refundable --
BETTY
I know, I know! I just couldn't
stand that woman's attitude! But
we had to find a new school anyway,
and there we were... the next thing
I knew, I was in over my head...
but why did you jump in, too?
WILMA
Oh, she was getting to me too with
all that mastodon snort about her
little nephew... and...
BETTY
And?
WILMA
And... if a friend can't help you
do something stupid, who can?
WILMA
What's wrong with the truth?
(CONTINUED)
37.
75 CONTINUED: (2) 75
BETTY
We put ourselves in debt so the
kids can attend school with a
family we can't stand?
WILMA
(pause)
Maybe we could rephrase it...
Suddenly the door bursts open. Fred and Barney run in
with candy and flowers.
Pause.
BETTY
Flowers?
WILMA
Rock candy? That's nice, but...
why?
FRED
Why? Oh, me and Barn, we suddenly
realized that we had a little spare
change.
WILMA
(sotto)
Not anymore you don't...
BARNEY
(presenting flowers)
Betty, these are for you. For
sticking beside me during the
tough times, and well... for
making a little guy feel like he
was ten feet tall.
BETTY
Aw, Barney... I... I don't deserve
these. I did something really
stupid today.
BARNEY
Hey. Fred does something stupid
every day and I still love him.
FRED
Noogy, noogy, ha, ha -- !
(CONTINUED)
38.
75 CONTINUED: (3) 75
WILMA
(observing this)
Have you been drinking?
In reply, Fred whips a bottle of champagne into view.
FRED
Ready when you are.
(noticing the label)
Hey, '1'... a good year.
BARNEY
Plenty more where that came from.
FRED
We see your dollar signs, ladies...
and...
WILMA
Betty... these... these look...
real --
(CONTINUED)
39.
76 CONTINUED: 76
Fred opens the champagne, which foams all over them. The
girls squeal.
FRED
You bet they're real, sweetheart.
They're as real as... as... well,
as real as --
(embracing the group)
-- the best darn friends and
neighbors in the whole world.
FRED
(emotionally)
Right, pal o'mine.
As they laugh and the girls slowly absorb the truth,
we --
CUT TO:
77 EXT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE - NIGHT 77
A sign proclaims this as "GRAND BEDROCK LODGE -- LOYAL
ORDER OF WATER BUFFALO." The parking lot outside is full
of vehicles. We hear the sound of a GAVEL BANGING...
HERDMASTER (V.O.)
Attention, fellow Water Buffaloes...
78 INT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE - NIGHT 78
78 CONTINUED: 78
HERDMASTER
("ritual" type tone)
The herd is now called to the
prairie.
(holding fingers
above ears)
Antlers... up!
80 BACK TO SCENE 80
After the CRY ECHOES away:
HERDMASTER
Brother Piltdown: You have given
the Cry of the Gelded Buffalo at
the Poisoned Water Hole. Do you
wish to file an objection?
PILTDOWN
You bet I do. How come Flintstone
is 'good old Fred' and me and the
other candidates are just 'some
other guys'?
PYRITE
Yeah, how come?
(CONTINUED)
41.
80 CONTINUED: 80
BARNEY
(rising)
My apologies, Brother Piltdown.
Allow me to rephrase. Tonight we
will hear speeches from a whole
bunch of good old guys...
(pause)
... plus the one and only Fred
Flintstone!
Cheers go up, which drown out Piltdown's renewed cry of
the poisoned water hole. Fred moves towards the podium
as the noise dies down.
81 NEW ANGLE 81
(CONTINUED)
42.
81 CONTINUED: 81
FRED
(grateful)
-- crucible with our fur fluffy
and our hooves unscathed. Now,
the future holds many promises and
many problems. As your next
Herdmaster, I would bring to you
the same determination, courage
and -- if I may say so -- bold
thinking that I have brought to
the workplace. Thank you, and
ack ack a-dack.
Applause follows Fred's return to the floor.
FRED
Hey, when you're hot you're hot...
boys, lemme buy a round of drinks
for everyone.
BARNEY
Thanks, Fred, but here at the
lodge drinks are free.
(CONTINUED)
43.
85 CONTINUED: 85
FRED
But the principle is the same,
Barn. Don't forget that.
Fred leads the group over to the bar. Piltdown and
Pyrite come along with a shrug... why not, for a brew?
Fred reaches --
87 BACK TO SCENE 87
Fred uses this creature to open several beers.
FRED
(during this)
Here you go, boys, nice and
frosty...
"BOTTLE OPENER" CREATURE (LIZARD)
(aside)
Go ahead, laugh. If I had a good
orthodontist, my life woulda been
different...
Fred tosses the "Opener" aside --
FRED
(raising drink)
Well, here's to...
91 BACK TO SCENE 91
FRED
Here's to the greatest bunch of
lifelong Buffaloes a guy could
dream of leading.
(an obvious prompt)
Anybody else got a toast...?
BARNEY
'Here's to the Water Buffalo and
their next Herdmaster... Fred'!
FRED
Aw, gee, Barn... you shouldn't say
that...
(winking)
... at least not till after next
week's election!
LODGE MEMBER
Fred, what was all that stuff in
your speech about the workplace?
I thought the only decision you
made there was how many lunches to
eat --
Laughter. Fred accepts it good-naturedly, reaches into
his pocket.
FRED
Well, Harry, it just so happens
that old Fred is moving up in the
world... Boys, you're looking at
Mr. Slate's new partner.
PILTDOWN
You and Slate? Who are you
kidding, Flintstone? The only
partner you got is hanging over
your belt.
Pyrite laughs, a bit too much.
FRED
Prepare to eat those words,
Piltdown.
PILTDOWN
-- If I don't, you will --
FRED
(a tight smile)
Gentlemen, my card --
He passes them out, and the others take them, curious --
45.
92 INSERT - CARD 92
Of course it's a little stone tablet... but it does
indeed say "SLATE CONSTRUCTION -- F. FLINTSTONE,
ASSISTANT JR. V.P. -- PUBLIC RELATIONS."
93 BACK TO SCENE 93
LODGE MEMBERS
(AD LIB, impressed)
Hey, way ta go, Fred... Whoa,
gonna switch from a hard hat to
a top hat, Freddy boy...?
PYRITE
(examining the card)
Ah, it's probably a phony...
FRED
-- 'Freddy boy,' he sez to me,
'We gotta talk turkey -- '
BARNEY
Fred, we gotta talk turkey --
FRED
That's right -- just like that --
BARNEY
Fred -- !
FRED
Ah, excuse us, boys...
46.
95 NEW ANGLE 95
Fred pulls Barney into a quiet corridor. They stand near
a trophy case. There's some bowling trophies here with
a variety of names on them. (There's also trophies for
"pie-eating contests" and "beer drinking chug-offs";
these have only Fred's name on them.)
BARNEY
Fred... what's this single-handed
stuff? I distinctly remember at
least four hands and two of them
were mine.
FRED
(lowered voice)
Barney, we could tell everyone how
you invented this Fibrerock stuff,
how Slate and Lava found out about
it by accident and all, but what
would that be?
BARNEY
The truth?
FRED
This is big business, Barney. We
can't start telling the truth,
it'd create the wrong impression.
Think about all the really big
deals in history -- back to the
beginning of recorded time.
Barney knits his brow in thought for maybe three seconds.
BARNEY
Okay.
FRED
What do they all have in common?
(as Barney is
stumped)
I'll tell you. A front man. A
guy who's out in the public eye
running the point, fighting the
crowds... and meanwhile... back
in the corner is the silent
partner.
BARNEY
I never knew that.
FRED
That's because the silent partner
is always silent.
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
47.
95 CONTINUED: 95
FRED (CONT'D)
But while you're busy being
silent --
(conspiratorially)
-- all along you're the brains
behind the operation and I'm the
brains in front of the operation.
I'm out here running the guts of
the operation but you got a cut.
It looks like my mind, but you're
really behind.
BARNEY
I get it. I got the brains, but
you just pretend to have them.
FRED
Attaboy!
And a confident Fred shakes hands with an unsure "silent
partner"...
CUT TO:
BETTY
Hmm. Probably run off to the
tropics with one of those
executive secretaries.
(CONTINUED)
48.
97 CONTINUED: 97
BARNEY
Come on, Betty, it's only my
first day. You have to have
seniority to run off...
She giggles, kisses him.
98 FRED 98
is at the car door, lunch pail in hand, when Wilma calls
out to him.
WILMA
Fred! Wait a minute! There's
something wrong with your lunch --
FRED
("weighing it")
Yeah... it does feel a little
light...
He returns to her, opens the pail, is surprised to find
it's empty. Before he can comment, she smilingly
presents him with a spanking new briefcase. "F.F" is
embossed on it in gold.
WILMA
Fit for a king... my king.
FRED
Aw, Wilma... lookit, it's got
buckles, a strap, a lock --
He opens it. Inside is a huge drumstick and some ribs.
FRED
-- Baby, you're the greatest.
WILMA
(kissing him)
Good luck.
(pause)
Watch out for those... you know...
hostile takeovers.
FRED
I'm already taken.
He moves to the car.
FRED
Ah, Mister Rubble, I presume?
Of the Fibrerock Rubbles?
(CONTINUED)
49.
98 CONTINUED: 98
BARNEY
Yes, yes. Looking good, Mister
Flintstone. I see you've
recovered from that polo accident.
FRED
Yas, yas. The water was too
deep and my horse drowned.
They crack up at their own wit, drive off.
CUT TO:
99 SLATE QUARRY - LAVA'S OFFICE - DAY 99
LAVA
Ivan, look, okay, so I bought too
much on margin... everyone said
glaciers were here to stay, I
mean, who knew? Just leverage my
shares in Atlantis dry goods and
-- what? When did that happen?
Piltdown enters, knocks on the open door.
PILTDOWN
Mister Lava, the armored car is
here.
LAVA
Armored car...?
PILTDOWN
Yeah. Must be a fortune in
coo-coo berries on that baby.
You know, for that Fibrerock
stuff of Flintstone and Rubble's.
You gotta sign here for it.
LAVA
(into phone)
I... I'll get back to you.
LAVA
Piltdown, this Fibrerock program
is going to create a lot of
changes around the plant. I want
to make one more. You've been a
wonderful thug and goon for me.
Now, I'd like to expand your
duties. I want you to become a
provocateur.
PILTDOWN
Gee, Mister Lava, I donno. I
kinda like girls myself.
LAVA
(patiently)
What I mean, is, I'm going to use
you to double-cross your Lodge and
Union brothers, and make their
lives a living hell.
PILTDOWN
Oh, okay.
LAVA
Good. You and your little pal
will report directly to me and
take orders only from me.
(slapping him on
the back)
Now get out of here and start
screwing your former friends and
associates.
(CONTINUED)
51.
BARNEY
(when he's gone)
Gee, Fred, driving with you is
better than an 'E' ticket at
Magerock Mountain.
FRED
(getting out)
Gets the old adrenaline going,
Barn. Us big executives, we need
that kind of jolt to get the old
wheels turning.
LAVA
Flintstone! Rubble!
BARNEY
Oh, hi, Mister Lava.
LAVA
Please, call me Jerry. Uncle --
I mean, Mister Slate told me to
take you to your offices. If
you'll follow me...?
FRED
Yes, yes. Quick, dynamic entry
into the marketplace. I approve.
BARNEY
But, Fred, it's right where the
employee basketball court used
ta be --
(CONTINUED)
52.
BARNEY
I guess so. You already did.
Lava leads them to a wood-sided trailer.
LAVA
Well, gentlemen, here you are. As
soon as you're settled, come over
to the assembly line. We'll go
over the Fibrerock formula before
the first run.
He goes off. Fred and Barney go --
104 INSIDE TRAILER 104
There're two tiny little desks at the far end, separated
by a flimsy divider. The single window here looks out
over the quarry scrap heap. (As we watch, somebody dumps
a load of debris.)
Threadbare furniture on a worn rug sits under a portrait
of "Our Founder" (Slate).
105 BACK TO SCENE 105
Fred and Barney look at all this in turn. Pause. Then
they whirl, give each other high-fives.
BARNEY
All-right!
FRED
Welcome to the top -- partner.
BARNEY
Ready... aim... fibre!
Barney pulls a rope which opens the trough. "Fibrefoam"
pours into the mold.
107 THE CLAY MOLD 107
gets "winched" unpwards by monkeys, and then an alliga-
torsaurus whaps it with its tail.
108 BELOW 108
Presto! A Fibrerock copy of the stone sofa drops neatly
out of the mold, bounces lightly on the conveyor belt
below! It sparkles with the tell-tale celadon-green
shimmer of Fibrerock. As it chugs along, the process
repeats, and soon a score of identical sofas is in view.
DISSOLVE TO:
WORKER #1
Laid off --?
WORKER #2
Pink slip --?
WORKER #3
Thanks to Fred Flintstone?
(CONTINUED)
55.
BARNEY
Fred. You gotta do something
about this!
FRED
I do?
(realizing)
I mean, I do, yeah!
FRED
About those guys outside, Mr.
Slate. Some of 'em, well, they
been here for years. And you,
well, you can't lay them off just
like --
(snapping fingers)
-- that!
Lava laughs along with the office staff and Slate. Fred
chuckles a little to fit in.
(CONTINUED)
57.
SLATE
Or...
(wiping away a tear)
I could fire you, Fred.
FRED
(guffawing)
Me! Ah, ha, that's rich, Mr.
Slate, that's --
Suddenly Fred stops laughing.
SLATE
Flintstone, Lava, here,
recommended that you be in charge
of public relations to get
Fibrerock off to a good start.
I'm a member of that public,
Flintstone, and I have to say...
this isn't a good start. I'm
getting a bad feeling about
Fibrerock. A bad feeling about...
you. You want that feeling to go
away, don't you?
FRED
Uh... well, gee, I... uh, yeah.
SLATE
Good. Then turn around and walk
out of here and we'll forget all
about this.
BARNEY
(worried)
Fred?
Fred staggers over to his locker, opens it... gets in,
and closes the door. We hear a MUFFLED SOB.
120 A NEW ANGLE 120
PEBBLES
But, Mommy, I wanna go roller
skating...
BAM-BAM
(mouth full)
Yeagh... 'hend thugh guys wher
ghoing --
(swallow, munch)
-- to play rockball at Paleolithic
Park --
Betty wipes Bam-Bam's mouth, smiles sweetly.
BETTY
Well, you're both going to change
your plans. Your new school is
going to have a talent show... and
you're going to have some talent.
WILMA
You don't have to win... honorable
mention or most Kongenial Kids is
perfectly acceptable.
PEBBLES
(aside)
As long as we beat the pants offa
Mrs. Slate's nephew...
(CONTINUED)
59.
BAM-BAM
How about a disappearing act?
He takes a tentative step away but Betty grabs him.
BETTY
We're waiting.
Pebbles and Bam-Bam sigh, huddle. We hear snatches of
discussion...
PEBBLES BAM-BAM
... Wanna recite something? Nah, what are we, little
'Inky Dinky Spidersaurus...'? kids? How 'bout magic
tricks? We could cut up a
newspaper --
PEBBLES
But then we'd need a hammer BAM-BAM
and chisel... oh, what about That dumb thing? You
that thing with Dino? think so...?
Pebbles turns, the decision made.
PEBBLES
Okay. We're gonna sing a song
with Dino.
Instantly, on cue, Dino leaps out of nowhere, holding a
straw hat and a cane.
Wilma and Betty look at each other, skeptical. Bam-Bam
reaches into his shirt and takes out a whistle. He blows
it --
PEBBLES
A one-and-a-two and-a --
122 WIDER 122
C) And finally, Dino uses his tail to flip the kids onto
his back, culminating in a big "ta-da" after they all
slide down the rope for a big finish.
HERDMASTER (V.O.)
Fellow Water Buffalo. In a few
moments we will cast our votes for
the lodge officers.
HERDMASTER
The election committee will make
the preparations.
FRED
(confident)
Since when do you have to prepare
for a landslide, right, guys?
(CONTINUED)
61.
FRED
Barn -- w-what's going on?
BARNEY
They're mad at you, Fred... it's
understandable, I mean, they all
got laid off today --
Fred crosses to the other guys, puts on a big smile.
FRED
Guys, guys, come on now -- what's a
quarry fulla layoffs got to do with
a lodge fulla Buffaloes?
BARNEY
Is that a riddle? Give me a
second --
PYRITE
(stepping forward)
I'll tell ya what! Mosta the guys
in this lodge work for Mr. Slate --
PILTDOWN
-- You mean used to work for him --
until somebody opened their big
mouth --
FRED
Fellas, come on. We're all big
boys here --
He gestures vaguely towards the outside world, then back
to the little band of brothers here.
FRED
Surely we can separate in our minds
work, and play... Job, and Lodge...
(CONTINUED)
62.
PYRITE
I second the motion!
HERDMASTER
All in favor, say --
FRED
Wait, wait... Your Antlerness,
please, one second -- !
Fred grabs Barney by the shoulder, spins him around,
pushes him forward like a refrigerator on a dolly, stands
him up center stage.
FRED
Barney, you gotta tell the other
guys what really happened. Tell
'em the story behind Fibrerock.
The true story.
The room quiets. Barney clears his throat. Fred waits,
hopeful.
BARNEY
Well, there's not much to tell.
(trying to remember
Fred's phraseology)
True, I got a cut... but Fred's
got a gut.
FRED
No, no, the rest --!
BARNEY
Oh, yeah, I remember! I got the
mind, but Fred's got the behind.
Right, Fred?
(CONTINUED)
63.
HERDMASTER
Paw... ground!
Everyone does a bull-like stomp and scrape.
HERDMASTER
All for Piltdown, bellow now!
The room ECHOES with MOOSE-LIKE SNORTS.
HERDMASTER
All for Flintstone, bellow now!
BARNEY
I voted for you, Fred.
FRED
Big deal, after you screwed
everything up in the first
place...!
Barney reacts, really hurt. He moves away on the bench.
Fred's so agitated he doesn't even realize it.
64.
PILTDOWN
Thank you, Brother Chairman.
Fellow Buffaloes, I'm a man of few
words. It's no secret that most
of our lodge members are also
members of Amalgamated Neolithic
101... which means that most of us
aren't gonna be able to make our
cave payments next month. So my
agenda for tonight... ends right
now. There's a time to be a
Buffalo... there's a time ta be a
brown nosin' double-crossin'
creep...
All heads turn and swivel to look at Fred... swivel back.
PILTDOWN
... and there's a time to stand up
and be a man! So let's go down
there and make the Slate shop into
slate scrap... then we'll see how
he gets along without the heavy
equipment operators of Neolithic
101! Meeting adjourned!
BARNEY
No, no, not that! Piltdown's got
the guys all worked up and they're
heading down to the quarry!
They're gonna wreck the assembly
line!
FRED
(genuinely worried)
Oh, no! That -- that's horrible!
(pause)
We could end up with half a
percent of nothing!
BARNEY
No, Fred, if they do that they'll
be breakin' the law! Our brother
Buffalo could go to jail!
FRED
Oh, yeah, yeah, that, too... come
on, Barn, we gotta stop 'em!
CUT TO:
133 EXT. SLATE QUARRY - NIGHT 133
Silent, empty. CAMERA PANS FROM the still yard TO the
gate. Down the road, we see Piltdown leading the angry
mob. Quickly, they go to the gate, climb up and over it!
PILTDOWN
Okay! Let's start with Slate's
golf trophies and work our way
up to the assembly line!
AD LIB angry cheers, and the mob storms into the plant,
knocking aside equipment and supplies.
(CONTINUED)
66.
FRED
Oh, no, not now...
Feldspar signals Fred onto the shoulder. Fred smiles,
nods...
136 CLOSE ON FRED'S FEET 136
He slams them down through the floorboard --
GRAVEL
Sarge! Look out -- !
139 NEW ANGLE 139
The patrol CAR runs off the road, CRASHING into a stone
fire hydrant. Water squirts into the air. Feldspar and
Gravel are drenched. They're just coming to their senses
when the ground heaves -- the car's front wheels rise --
67.
CUT TO:
141 SLATE QUARRY - NIGHT 141
BARNEY
Come on Fred. Time to earn those
big bucks.
PILTDOWN
Not if we give 'em a nice long
vacation... in the hospital.
Saying this, he grips tightly on a wrench. Then some
rampaging workers rush by. Piltdown gives them an encour-
aging cheer, and then he and Pyrite lead them up some
stairs to the assembly line catwalk. There, Pyrite
begins SMASHING some LIGHT FIXTURES with a club, while
Piltdown uses brute strength to snap big support beams
which he flings below.
145 CLOSE - PYRITE 145
BARNEY
Stee-rike one! Heh-hey. Ready
for a curve ball?
FRED
Brother Piltdown... can we talk
about this, antler to antler?
... but this time the window is hinged in the center and
the swivel action after the hit whaps Barney on the back
and knocks him into Pyrite's next blow.
FRED
Dare you to cross that line.
FRED
That line.
(CONTINUED)
70.
FELDSPAR
All right! You're all under arr --
BETTY
Barney, I don't understand... what
came over you boys?
EXITING BUFFALO
'Night, Barney.
(to Fred)
So long, fatso.
BUFFALO #2
See ya, Barn.
(pause)
Flintstone, you're dead meat.
BUFFALO #2
'Night, pal. 'Night, slimeball.
WILMA
Fred, is there something you want
to tell me about the lodge meeting?
(CONTINUED)
73.
LAVA
A simple little heist -- I gave
you everything but the keys and
you blew it --
PILTDOWN
Hey, we got the union guys to
break in and create a distraction,
didn't we? Who knew Flintstone
and Rubble would show up, too?
LAVA
The day after Slate City opens
there's going to be an audit. If
the stuff isn't gone by then we'll
all be doing time until the
Bronze Age.
PYRITE
Don't worry, Mister Lava... we're
on top of it.
They both turn and start down an alley... jamming
together as they do. Lava sighs... then jumps as Barney
comes up behind him and taps him on the shoulder.
BARNEY
Excuse me, Mister Lava -- ? I
think you oughta know... something
could be wrong with the Fibrerock
mix.
LAVA
(thrown)
How do you know that?
(recovering)
I mean... ah, why do you say that?
(CONTINUED)
74.
LAVA
Tastes... different?
BARNEY
Yup. See, ever since I started
with Fibrerock -- I mean, since
me and Fred started with it, I
always take a little taste of the
Fibre foam. And tonight's batch,
well... I didn't get much of it,
but it seems a little off.
(smacking his lips)
Can't fool the old taste buds,
heh-heh. I think there might be
an ingredient missing. So
tomorrow, I'll run a couple of
tests and stuff --
LAVA
Rubble, Rubble! We're fighting a
deadline to finish Slate City...
and we're not pulling the plug on
production to satisfy your
tastebuds! If you ask me, you
and your tastebuds are overworked
... overwrought... how long have
you been with us, anyway?
BARNEY
Nine days, Mister Lava.
LAVA
Jumping Jurrasic, no wonder you're
so run down.
LAVA
I'm authorizing a nice vacation
for you, Rubble. Starting
tomorrow. You can catch some rays,
maybe invent something... hey,
how about Fibrerock, the sequel,
part II -- ?
BARNEY
But --
LAVA
No, don't try and thank me.
CUT TO:
75.
LAVA
... As you can see, the Fibrerock
is so light we're using it for
construction, for furnishings...
for everything. You can't stack
a two-bedroom cave this high...
but the sky's the limit with
Fibrerock!
SLATE
'Sky's the limit'... 'sky's the
limit'... why, these two buildings,
they... they practically scrape
the sky! We should call them...
Slate scrapers!
LAVA
That's brilliant, Unc... Mister
Slate. In fact, maybe you can
help me with the centerpiece of
the complex...
(indicating the
convention center)
... I wanna call 'em the
FibreSphere and the '____'
something Needle... but I just
can't...
SLATE
(modestly)
How about, 'Slate Needle'?
LAVA
'Slate Need...'
(astonished)
... How do you keep coming up
with these? It's uncanny.
SLATE
(shrugging)
It's a gift...
LAVA
(casually)
Oh, that reminds me, sign these,
will you... just a few overruns
... minor cost problems... that's
it... thank you...
(CONTINUED)
76.
PILTDOWN
Can we help you... sir?
(CONTINUED)
77.
PYRITE
Our pleasure.
Then they grab Barney with such force that the THERMOS
drops and SHATTERS, drag him O.S. --
171 SLATE QUARRY - MAIN GATE - DAY 171
FRED
(on the move)
... But Barney doesn't want to
take a vacation -- he says he's
gotta be here to check up on the
Fibrefoam --
LAVA
(pointedly)
-- Oh? Or check up on us?
Emotionally, Lava turns, indicates a picture of Slate on
the wall.
(CONTINUED)
78.
FRED
(nervous)
Of course not, Mister Lava.
But --
LAVA
Call me Jerry. Sit down, please...
Fred complies. Lava winces as his designer FURNITURE
CREAKS under Fred's weight, but he only says --
LAVA
(offering one)
... Cigar?
FRED
Why, yeah, sure, Jerry.
LAVA
Fred, let me get to the bottom
slime. Some men -- you and me,
for instance -- we're cut out for
the big time, the big bucks...
(eyeing Fred's
girth)
... the big everything.
Lava smiles, prepares the tips on two cigars. He puts
each one in turn in a gizmo on his desk.
LAVA
... Now, I know your pal Barney
had a small part in the preliminary
research and development of
Fibrerock...
FRED
Well, actually, I wouldn't say
small part... I'd say...
LAVA
Yes?
FRED
... Kind of a medium-sized... well,
almost medium-sized... well, really
a semi-partial assistant counsulting
type, of --
LAVA
(giving Fred a
playful punch)
You're too kind, Flintstone,
that's what I like about you.
But you're a big guy with a big
decision to make. Are you gonna
keep covering for Barney, keep
pulling his acornsauruses out of
the fire... or are you going to
concentrate on your own important
duties?
FRED
Well, gee, that's tough one --
(pause)
-- Uh, what are my important duties?
LAVA
Publicity, Flintstone, publicity!
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
80.
FRED
R-rockin' Leach?
Indeed, it is he, and he smiles, extends his hands.
LEACH
'Ello, Fred. I've 'eard a lot
h'about you from Mister Lava.
H'at's why we're going to put you
on our program.
FRED
M-me? On -- on television?
LAVA
(patting his back,
sotto)
Right, Fred. As long as you
forget all this nonsense about
Barney.
FRED
(still in a dazed
thrill)
Barney who?
CUT TO:
177 EXT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - DAY 177
FRED
W-what's wrong?
LEACH
Well, just look at that yard over
there... barbecues and trikes, not
exactly the right image...
FRED
(pointing)
Maybe you could move those plants
to block them out...?
LEACH
Good idea. Rodney, get 'hoppin'
with those greens.
The aide nods, gathers some workers. They start moving
the potted plants. Puzzled, Wilma comes over.
WILMA
Fred, this was supposed to be a
'typical evening' at the
Flintstones, and you invited fifty
people I don't even know. Now
what's going on? Where are they
taking my ficus-sauruses?
FRED
It's the Rubble yard, Wilma. It's
just not the right image...
He starts away, suddenly notices his own barbecue and
trikes... quickly, without missing a stride, he tosses
a tarp over them, slides a potted plant over for good
measure.
179 BARNEY AND BETTY'S HOUSE - SAME TIME 179
(CONTINUED)
82.
BARNEY
Trust me, Betty. After the
Fibrerock debut, he'll be the same
old Fred.
Both react to the sound of HAMMERING and SAWING.
Curious, they go out the sliding bedroom door into the
yard and see --
180 THEIR POV - THE FENCE 180
The television crew has just finished nailing boards up
over the top of the fence. Now the big potted plants
are dropped into place. With each hammer stroke or thud
a little more of the late afternoon sun is shut off
until Barney and Betty are in shadow.
Finally a canvas tarp is tossed as gracefully as pizza
dough, sails into the Rubble yard and covers their bird
bath. One last stray end lands on Barney's head.
CUT TO:
181 QUICK CUTS - FLINTSTONE YARD - ANGLE ON "KLEIG LIGHTS" 181
BIRD
(slowly getting up)
I've heard of a flash in the pan,
but this is ridiculous...
LEACH
'Ere we are at the 'ome of
Bedrock's man o' the 'our,
Frederick Flint--
More CHIPPING. Leach looks up and sees:
LEACH
'Ere we are at the fabulous 'ome
of Bedrock's man o' the 'our,
Frederick von Flintstone --
84.
BARNEY
You mean beside Fred?
WILMA
I mean including Fred.
They look over at --
BARNEY
(sotto, to them)
See? What'd I tell ya?
85.
CUT TO:
FRED
Hello, hello. Bon soir. Good to
see ya... glad you could make it...
GUEST
(unconvincingly)
Hello, Frank...
FRED
Fred -- there's the bar, make
yourself at home -- mi casa es
votre casa, so, when in Rome and
all that --
WILMA
(coming over)
Fred, can I talk to you -- ?
Fred? Fred?
(concerned)
We have a serious problem with
Betty and Barney.
FRED
(alarmed)
You mean you can see their
house -- ?
WILMA
(exasperated)
I mean you're treating them
horribly! What's come over you,
Fred? Does a little money mean so
much to you that you just turn
your back on the things that
really count?
FRED
Wilma, I'm shocked. I wouldn't do
that. Okay, I admit it: I'm
trying to make an impression here,
I wanna look good, I wanna be a
success...
WILMA
Arrrgh -- !
FRED
... Yas, yas, it's a challenging
commodity market these days.
Personally, I'm considering
petrified forests, but they do
say that volcano futures are
ready to explode, ha, ha...
(CONTINUED)
88.
FRED
Fred!
He stumbles through the thinning crowd, clutching at
elbows.
FRED
Hey, what's the hurry? We got a
cake shaped like a piece of
Fibrerock... I got it, how about
some charades? No, even better,
twenty questions: 'Am I animal,
mineral, or fossil'...? Oh, I
heard a great one the other day
... a guy walks in a bar with a
duckasaurus on his head and the
bartender says -- this'll kill
you, the bartender says --
Fred stops, running out of steam along with his moment of
glory. He stands alone on the lawn. Wilma slowly comes
up to him.
WILMA
Fred... I... I'm sorry it's not
working out...
Fred turns, puts on a big smile.
FRED
Whaddya mean, not working out?
They're goin' party hopping,
that's all. That's what ya do in
society, Wilma... you cruise
around. They'll go over to
Slate's shindig for a while,
then they'll come back here.
WILMA
Fred...
FRED
You go on over to Slate City,
okay?
WILMA
Fred, I want to be here with you --
(CONTINUED)
89.
She doesn't know what to say, or what she can say that
won't shatter his shaky image. She sighs, kisses him,
then calls out.
WILMA
Come on, Pebbles. We're going to
another party.
PEBBLES
Will there be real food there?
WILMA
We'll find out together.
She takes the girl's hand and goes to the door, where the
last of Leach's crew is just going out. Suddenly Betty
catches up to her, Bam-Bam in tow.
BETTY
Wilma, wait. I'm going with you.
WILMA
Why?
BETTY
If friends can't do something
stupid, who can?
Wilma smiles, touched.
BETTY
Besides...
(lowering her voice)
... Maybe if we leave the boys
alone...?
FRED
Just you and me now, Dino. Yeah.
That's okay. Man and man's best
friend.
FRED
(disbelieving)
B... Barney?
BARNEY
(moving closer)
Hiya, Fred.
(noticing his ruined
tuxedo)
Boy, the rental place is gonna
be mad...
(eyeing the mess)
... You feeling better, pal?
(CONTINUED)
91.
FRED
Well, yeah. But more of a --
BARNEY
(helpful tone)
Fool?
FRED
Well --
BARNEY
Slimeball? Louse? Jackass?
(snapping fingers)
Stuck-up blimpasaurus?
FRED
(wincing, but
taking it)
Barney... can... can you ever
forgive me for being such a jerk?
BARNEY
(stepping closer)
Sure, Fred.
(smiling)
I've had lots of practice.
FRED
(touched)
Aw, Barn...
And he grabs Barney in a big bear hug. Tears in both
their eyes, they slap each other on the back, two
prehistoric sensitive guys.
CUT TO:
FASHION PARROT
Because the clothes of the Stone
Age are as extinct as stones
themselves! Yes, thanks to the
wonder of Fibrerockfibre, the world
of high fashion will be totally
transformed... by Fibre furs...
Fibre frocks... Fibre foundations
and Fibreshoes... it's to die
for!
BARNEY
Yeah. Too bad we never made the
team.
FRED
So what? We made the team spirit.
That's just as important...
whatever happened to those
cheerleader costumes?
BARNEY
You know Betty. She never throws
anything away.
He hauls out an old footlocker, opens it. There they
are.
FRED
(rummaging in it)
Boy. Talk about memories.
Fred tosses the cheerleader sweater to Barney, who grins,
pulls it on. Fred also starts to get into his old
"uniform," but has to suck his gut in mightily. Finally,
he can zip it up, stern to stem.
FRED
Back then, we thought a pop quiz
was a big problem. We didn't
know how good we had it. No
problems, no worries...
(CONTINUED)
95.
BARNEY
Yeah? When did you notice that?
FRED
About an hour ago.
BARNEY
Boy, there's no fooling you, Fred.
Suddenly, with a GROWING CREAKING, CRACKING and TINKLING,
a scale model of Slate City in the corner begins to fall
apart.
BARNEY
It should be. There's enough
coo-coo berry resin in there to
petrify a brontosaurus --
Suddenly Barney gets it. He looks from the older models
to the now decomposing little Fibresphere with growing
awareness.
BARNEY
(snapping his fingers)
-- The coo-coo berries! Fred,
that's it!
FRED
What's it?
BARNEY
Remember I said the Fibrefoam
tasted funny? It was the coo-coo
sap that was missing!
FRED
But.. why would --
BARNEY
Why? Because coo-coo berries are
as valuable as goldrock! And
we've had tons of 'em delivered
to the plant since we started...
somebody musta got greedy --
FRED
-- Not 'somebody' -- Lava!
BARNEY
(alarmed)
Fred, that sap acts as a fixative
-- it's the glue that holds the
whole formula together -- !
(CONTINUED)
97.
LAVA
You're certainly looking lovely
this evening, Mrs. Flintstone.
Life with a junior executive must
agree with you.
(CONTINUED)
98.
LAVA
(looking into her
eyes)
Yes. I think so, too.
(smiling)
Imagine how good you'd look
with a senior executive.
WILMA
Oh? Is Fred getting promoted?
Lava laughs, sure she's kidding... then not so sure. The
ventriloquist finishes to scattered applause. The kid
bows, gets up... splashes across puddles of water on the
stage area. The Headmistress of L'ecole Superior et al
steps up. Behind her, the picture window displays the
expanse of Slate City: The twin Slatescrapers framing
endless rows of little tract houses stretching to the
distant volcanic ridge.
HEADMISTRESS
(as applause dies)
Sank you, ladies and gentlemen.
An' sank you, Monsieur Slate for
zis lovely setting. Zoot alors,
zis will ze mos' fantas'tic
recital in Bedrock 'istoree. Now,
I would like to sank out mos'
generous benefactress, Madame
Slate for her fine support o'vair
zee years --
She gestures into the audience, where Mrs. Slate stands,
waves a gloved hand like the Queen Mother.
HEADMISTRESS
-- An' now, what better
introduction could we 'ave for
Mrs. Slate's vairy own gran'
nephew... Poindexter Lava!
She steps aside. Curtain rises on little Poindexter.
He is carrying a leather-and-bone accordion. He begins
to play:
POINDEXTER
(singing loudly)
'Dino of Spain, I adore you
Right from the moment I saw you -- '
99.
CUT TO:
222 INT. FRED'S CAR - TRAVELLING 222
Fred and Barney rush along, Fred at the wheel.
FRED
What'll we do when we get there?
BARNEY
We just tell Mister Slate that all
500 acres of his development are
going to crumble into dust any
minute.
(holds up the
flit gun)
Then we zap the stairs and
corridors with some of this
coo-coo sap. I just hope we have
enough to get everybody out --
whoops!
(CONTINUED)
100.
FELDSPAR
(remembering)
Oh, yeay... over and out!
FELDSPAR
(thrilled)
Gravel, this could mean promotions
for both of us!
(trotting up to
speed)
Load the shotgun and turn on the
siren!
102.
FRED
(muffled, shouting)
Ho, gweat! Hoo bwoke hit,
Bahnee! Hi khnat twalk hennymore!
Suddenly both men (pardon, man and xenosaurus) react to
an approaching SIREN. They both look back at --
FRED
Ho noh! Ahhrisser Felghspah!
(turning to Barney)
Haybee whee hould shtop -- ?
BARNEY
What, and explain what you're
doing in that costume? Start
talking about coo-coo berries and
Fibrerock? By then it'll be too
late!
FRED
'Hen yore height, yore height...
Fred pours on more speed. They careen around a turn.
CAMERA WHIP PANS TO a road sign: SLATE CITY--1 MI.
FRED
'Ood hidea. Ood whuk, ol' bhudee.
They slap hands together like basketball players, then
head off in two directions.
CUT TO:
232 INT. SLATE NEEDLE 232
CAMERA PANS the audience as the accordion recital con-
tinues. Several people look visibly ill. Finally,
CAMERA ADJUSTS to take in Poindexter's big finish as he
slides forward on his knees.
There's a scattering of half-hearted applause, led by
Lava and the Slates.
HEADMISTRESS
Sank you, sank you. Our nex'
performance is Bam-Bam, Pebbles...
(checking notes)
... an' friend.
She steps aside as a spotlight picks out --
KIDS
You can keep the twist,
the frug and hop --
MRS. SLATE
I'll tell you what's wrong! This
'act' is an absolute disgrace!
This is supposed to be a talent
show! And a pedestrian animal act
like this belongs in a circus!
MRS. SLATE
(alarmed)
Ah... Poindexter... that's enough
... Poindexter...?
FELDSPAR
Okay, lizard, reach for the sky!
Fred hesitates... then, hearing a CREAK and GROAN, he
looks at the HOUSE beside him. The stucco-like exterior
of Fibrerock is beginning to crumble.
(CONTINUED)
106.
GRAVEL
(following him)
O-one flick of his paw... and
he knocked down a wall -- !
FRED
Nogh, wate, chum baggk --
As Fred "roars" and moves forward, Feldspar and Gravel
scream, panic, and run!
241 FRED 241
Tries to catch up and collides with the already damaged
house. It collapses totally, falling in on itself,
obscuring Fred. Finally the last TIMBER DROPS. Pause.
Fred staggers out of the rubble, realizes that the impact
has knocked the monster mask off his head and back on its
hinges. He rubs dust out of his eyes, turns and looks
at the Slate Needle. He's much closer to it now.
CUT TO:
245 EXT. BASE OF FIBRESPHERE AND SLATE NEEDLE - NIGHT 245
CUT TO:
249 INT. BEDROCK POLICE STATION - NIGHT 249
FELDSPAR
Chief, you -- you gotta believe me
-- just one swipe of its paw and
-- wham -- a whole house was
pre-history -- !
Suddenly one of those police DISPATCH PARAKEETS comes
flying excitedly through the window, lands on a perch in
front of the Chief.
DISPATCH PARAKEET
Calling all cars. Calling all cars.
Unconfirmed reports of destruction
and collapse at Slate City.
Rescue vehicles are on the way.
The xenosaurus has been spotted
in the area. That is all. That
is all.
FELDSPAR
(excited)
You see -- ? I told you --
CHIEF
All right, Feldspar, I'm
convinced! As of this moment
you're completely in charge of
operation...
(dramatic)
... 'Xeno Dino'! Now, what do
you need?
CAMERA TIGHTENS ON Feldspar. This is the moment he's
waited for all his life.
FELDSPAR
(firm-jawed)
Artillery.
CUT TO:
250 INT. FIBRESPHERE - NIGHT 250
(CONTINUED)
109.
FRED BARNEY
Piltdown? Pyrite?
SLATE
What the devil's going on here?
FRED
It's real simple, Mister Slate.
Your boy Lava here has been
stealing the coo-coo berries from
the Fibrerock mix and fixing the
books to hide it!
LAVA
That's ridiculous, Flintstone!
Nobody could get that many coo-coo
berries off our premises!
(CONTINUED)
110.
LAVA
(smoothly)
They're convincing fakes, Mrs.
Rubble -- part of our exciting
display --
PYRITE
Fakes?
(to Piltdown)
Gee, Pilty, I thought the real
ones were gonna be moved up here
for us ta steal -- whatta waste
a time --
PILTDOWN
Pyrite, shaddup --
FRED
(snapping fingers)
Now I remember! These guys were
pulling this xenosaurus act that
night at the plant! What's this,
Lava... 'Plan B'?
LAVA
Uncle! Are you going to stand
there while aspersions are being
cast at the Slate family? This
is absurd --
SLATE
Of course it is! Why, without
the coo-coo berry sap, Fibrerock
would be completely --
(realizing)
-- unstable...
(CONTINUED)
111.
FIRE CHIEF
Come on, come on, what's the hold
up -- ?
FIREFIGHTER
It's the kibble crisis, sir --
the firesauruses have been on
half-rations for a month!
Above them, the BUILDING SHUDDERS again.
112.
BAM-BAM
D-dad, are we gonna be okay?
BARNEY
(pause; false smile)
Sure, pal. We just gotta wait for
the fire department. Right, Fred?
FRED
Y-yeah. Everything's gonna be
just -- Whoa, hoo-hah, aggh --
(CONTINUED)
113.
FRED
-- Wait a minute -- I don't feel
anything at all --
POINDEXTER
(pushing and shoving)
Outta the way -- outta the way --
women and children first -- ! I
mean, ah, children and women
first, yeah, yeah, provided that
uh, there's room for the women...
(CONTINUED)
115.
POINDEXTER
(to anyone and everyone)
Fifty clams for a piggy-back ride
... a hundred clams!
MRS. SLATE
(aghast)
Do you see that, Jerry? Do you
see how my great-nephew is behaving
at this moment of crisis?
(CONTINUED)
116.
FRED
(through the mask)
Wilmagh, I jusght whunt to sagh
thad I knogh shumtimes I dogh
dumb thinks... Bhut hit's
becaughse high luff yough sogh
much thaght high whant yough to
livgh likge a pwincess orgh a
qween 'cause you reaally arggh
rugg aaggg hummmmg higga!
(CONTINUED)
117.
Dust and smoke clear. When we can see again, well, it's
not a pretty sight. The entire fibresphere is gone. All
that's left, teetering on two spindly supports, are two
tiny islands of safety connected by a twisted maze of
rubble too small for a human to negotiate... and all
that's holding that up is a long guide wire leading to the
ground!
BETTY
W-wilma... those hoops of bamboo...
those wires... do you think -- ?
WILMA
Yes! Yes! Betty, we have to try
it -- ! Dino! Dino, look down
here -- !
FELDSPAR
It's the xenosaurus -- stand back,
men -- it's a vicious killer --
Ready -- Aim --
FRED
(with desperate poignancy)
High ham noght a zenosore! High
ham hay hooman beeng -- !
BAM! WHAM! KABAM! Bullets and projectiles begin
slamming all around Fred! He ducks behind a big fallen
chunk of Fibrerock -- catches his breath as the bullets
and shells bounce off its resilient surface.
286 CLOSE - FRED 286
Momentarily safe, he tries desperately to remove that
stupid head -- bangs it against the wall, tears at it
with his claws --
-- meanwhile, the chunk of Fibrerock protecting him
decomposes! He's back in the line of fire!
287 DINO 287
GRAVEL
Hey, those are the biggest shorts
I've ever seen...
(realizing)
... It... it must be Mister
Flintstone! Cease fire!
(to Feldspar)
Gee, Sarge, now you don't have
to shoot him -- !
MRS. SLATE
Dear, don't you think a little
more than that is in order?
SLATE
Honey, you're being hysterical,
go lie down, okay?
(CONTINUED)
121.
SLATE
(sighing)
Okay, okay.
(to Fred and Barney)
Boys, I'm feeling guilty about
how you've been taken advantage
of, so I'll tell you what... I'm
going to give you back all
world-wide rights to Fibrerock,
free and clear.
He picks up a fragment of stone, begins writing on it.
SLATE
Your only obligation will be to
cover oh, whatever legal expenses
might surface at some later time...
BARNEY
You think there's gonna be some?
Slate looks around at --
290 HIS POV - THE RUINS AND DESTRUCTION 290
Smoking desolation as far as the eye and CAMERA can see.
As we watch the last remaining fragment of Slate City
collapse, crushing a police car.
291 BACK TO SCENE 291
SLATE
(casually)
Oh, you never know...
(CONTINUED)
122.
FRED
Barn...? What's going on?
BARNEY
(sniffing it)
Lava Lava leaves... Woca sap...
all still there, but now the
nutrients are all released...
(realizing)
... Fred, this... this is Dino
kibble!
FRED
Dino kibble...?
Disbelieving, Fred moves over to the happily-munching
animals. He has to get on his knees to wiggle in with
the pack. He grabs some, stuffs it in his mouth...
chews. His eyes widen...
FRED
(mouth full)
Dhinough khibble!!
He spits it out, takes out the chunk of contract
Slate wrote on.
FRED
Barney, we -- we're rich!
Yabba dabba do -- !
CUT TO:
297 EXT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE - NIGHT 297
WIDEN FROM the mailbox. Fred and family pull up. Dino
runs in first, followed by Wilma with Pebbles already
asleep on her shoulder. Fred follows, the saber-tooth
cat on his heels. Fred stops in the doorway to put a
milk bottle on the doorstep, and then puts the cat down
beside it. He shuts the door.
Quick as a flash, the cat leaps through the side window.
Pause. The door opens and the cat puts Fred out, then
slams the door! Fred recovers from his shock, tries the
door... it's locked!
MUSIC (V.O.)
We'll have a yabba
dabba-do time
A dabba-do time
We'll have a gay old time!
FRED
(knocking)
Wilma...?
(another knock)
... Wilma?
CAMERA CRANES UP, WIDENS as Fred becomes a tiny sil-
houette banging on the door.
FRED
Wilma? Wil-ma --!
FADE OUT.
THE END
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