1

and write it on the character sheet under

Introduction your Species and Day Job. Finally, go
online, find a really cool artist, and
You know the games about fairies that commission them to make a custom
voice actors play on Youtube? This is how portrait of your character. If you pay the
you play ‘em. This is the best way and the artist more than $50 for the portrait, add
only way. I call this game “5E” because +1 to your Excess. Take a screenshot of
every character has five stats, and they your character sheet and edit it in
all start with E: Explosive, Efficient, photoshop so your character’s portrait is
Endurance, Excess, and Elf. in the convenient little Portrait space on
the character sheet. If your campaign is
License cancelled in one session or less, you have
the right to ask the artist for a refund,
5E - The Roleplaying Game © 2023 by and challenge her to a fistfight behind
Lyme is licensed under Creative Arby’s if she refuses.
Commons Attribution 4.0
The Species
International License. This means that
you are free to copy, share, and remix the Dragons are real, heavens-to-betsy
text of 5E - The Roleplaying Game for dragons who breath fire, fly, and
commercial or noncommercial purposes, everything. They’re only like person-
as long as you provide attribution to sized at level 1, but they get bigger each
Lyme and a link to level and are proper dragon size at level
https://lymetime.itch.io/5e-rpg. 20. They get 2 Explosive, 1 Efficient, 1
Endurance, 2 Excess, and 1 Elf.

Chargen Dwarfs are big people who love to drink

and work with their hands. The adjective
First thing first, we got to make you a of dwarf is dwarfish. They get 1
character. Pick one Species and one Day Explosive, 2 Efficient, 1 Endurance, 1
Job. Write their names together at the top Excess, and -1 Elf.
of your character sheet, because that’s
what you’ll be called every time someone Flores men are tiny people who love to
tells the story of what happened at the eat and do emotional labor. They get 0
game. Add the stats you got from your Explosive, 2 Efficient, 0 Endurance, 1
Species to the stats you got from your Excess, and 0 Elf. Note: See note for
Day Job. Then add 2 points to anything, MMA Dudes.
as long as it’s two different things, and
not one thing going up by 2 – you can’t Homo sapiens live everywhere, because
just raise one thing by 2, it’s got to be everyone is always happy to see a nice,
two different things each going up by smart, healthy, attractive, tasteful, wise
one. Adding those extra points at the end homo sapiens around. They get 1
really helps you customize your Explosive, 0 Efficient, 1 Endurance, 1
character into the one you always Excess, and 0 Elf.
dreamed of playing.
Orcs are big green people who like to get
Next, pick an Alignment off the in fights. They all have Cockney accents
Alignment table and draw a check mark but they’re cool even though they’re
by it. English. They get 2 Explosive, 1 Efficient,
1 Endurance, 0 Excess, and 0 Elf.
Now that you’ve got a species, a day job,
and stats, pick a name for your character

2
Elves are tall people with pointy ears Excess, and 1 Elf. Note: They’re always
who live a long time and are mostly fops. called MMA Dudes but women can be
They get 0 Explosive, 0 Efficient, 1 MMA Dudes too.
Endurance, 2 Excess, 2 Elf, and -1 Dwarf.
Deer Hunters like to get up before the
Cambions are unholy hellspawned sunrise, walk quietly through the forest,
abominations walking the earth, as and shoot tasty critters. That should
popularized by the character of Merlin make them the most useful person to
from Welsh mythology. They get 1 have along if you’re on a quest that’s
Explosive, 0 Efficient, 0 Endurance, 1 mostly walking across the country,
Excess, and 3 Elf. camping in the woods, and fighting
critters. They get 2 Explosive, 2 Efficient,
The Day Jobs 2 Endurance, 0 Excess, and 1 Elf.

Gym Rats hail from inhospitable Legitimate Businessmen understand the

wildernesses where most people spend finer points of locksmithing and tax
all day foraging just to get a single meal. evasion. They get 1 Explosive, 2 Efficient,
They are huge and have huge muscles. 1 Endurance, 2 Excess, and 1 Elf. Note:
It’s a shame they never learned how to See MMA note.
fight, but it’s nice to have someone to
carry everything. They get 1 Explosive, 1 Trust Fund Kids are given a lot of magic
Efficient, 2 Endurance, 0 Excess, and 0 when they turn 18, but only ever figure
Elf. out how to use it to kill people. They get 2
Explosive, 0 Efficient, 0 Endurance, 2
Rockstars seem useless at first but when Excess, and 3 Elf.
they rock out something neat happens.
They’ve always got drip and fancy wine Witches are people who have sold their
so they must get money from soul to the Devil in exchange for magical
somewhere. They get 0 Explosive, 1 powers. The Devil gives some really great
Efficient, 0 Endurance, 2 Excess, and 3 deals and has excellent customer service.
Elf. If you’d like to give it a try just read this
game backwards at midnight. When he
Priests are like those guys you see in shows up, tell the Devil the secret code
churches, but God keeps answering their “Lyme Fan” to get a 10% discount.
prayers. They get 0 Explosive, 2 Efficient, Witches get 1 Explosive, 1 Efficient, 1
1 Endurance, 1 Excess, and 1 Elf. Endurance, 1 Excess, and 2 Elf.

Pagans are just nature priests. They get 0 Harry Potters are people who went to
Explosive, 2 Efficient, 1 Endurance, 0 college and majored in Magic. Most
Excess, and 2 Elf. people with a magic degree can just get a
high-paying job granting wishes to rich
Roaming Mercenaries spend their days people, but some burnouts take up
killing people for money, but are also adventuring instead. Their magic is
surprisingly well-read and handy around pretty good at killing people and at doing
the house. They get 2 Explosive, 1 useful stuff, but they have a lot of
Efficient, 1 Endurance, 1 Excess, and 0 student debt. Harry Potters get 2
Elf. Explosive, 2 Efficient, 0 Endurance, 0
Excess, and 0 Elf.
MMA Dudes are mercenaries who can’t
afford weapons, but that’s kind of cool If anyone pays more than $5 for this
when you think about it. They get 2 game, I will email them a personally
Explosive, 1 Efficient, 1 Endurance, 0 digitally signed copy of a supplement

3
with two additional classes, the then shouts the total dramatically. If it’s
Handyman and the Edgelord. lower than 10, the player’s character
screws up in a humiliating way and
everyone stops to laugh at them. If it’s
The Alignments higher than 10, the GM grudgingly does
what they have to in order to keep the
There are eleven Alignments to choose game moving. If it’s 14 or higher, the GM
between: Faithful, Selfless, Joyous, makes a big deal about how cool the
Calculating, Kind, Scary, Merciful, player’s character was when they did it.
Brave, Authentic, Honest, and Light. If the die comes up 20, then whatever the
total is, everyone gasps or goes
“OOOOO” and the player who rolled a 20
FAITHFUL
gets exactly 10 seconds, timed on a
stopwatch by the GM, to narrate what
JOYOUS SELFLESS happens next, any way they want.

CALCULATING Which Stat To Use For What

Explosive is how good you are at killing

SCARY KIND people and breaking things. Roll it to
fight, wreck stuff, and kill time arguing
MERCIFUL about which weapons are the best.

Efficient is how good you are at doing

AUTHENTIC BRAVE
actually useful things, like going places
or making stuff. Some people do useful
HONEST things with magic, some people do it by
working harder, and some people do it by
LIGHT
working smarter.

Endurance is how likely you are not to

Figure 1: The Alignment Table die. Roll it to not die from things like
falling off a cliff, getting dog-bit, or
Playing The Game catching a deadly case of Yaws.

After everyone has made characters, Excess is how much money you can
draw straws to pick a GM. The GM throw around. Roll it to buy things and
immediately puts their character sheet in hire people. If your wealth ever goes over
a folder and never looks at it again. The 10, then there is no danged reason for
GM should probably go watch a video or you to keep adventuring for money, and
read a book about how to GM, because you’re probably just some psychopath
boy, if they screw that up, odds are getting in danger and killing people for
nobody else is having fun tonight. Once the thrill of it.
they figure out how to GM good, they can
improv an adventure entirely from their Elf is how many elven ancestors you
own creativity, or go buy one to read. I have. Elves live forever and are hopeless
recommend the one about the vampire, romantics, so most people have at least a
it’s pretty good. couple elves in their family tree. The
more elves you’re descended from, the
Whenever things get tense, the GM calls more that elves and fancy people like
on players to roll a d20 and add one of you. Roll Elf when dealing with elves and
their five stats. The player does this and elf stuff like ancient mystical prophecies.

4
5
 On a character’s turn, they can move
Leveling Up about 10 meters, and they can attack
anyone they’re able to reach. If they have
Every time the GM feels like it, usually a gun or a bow or a magic staff or
every two short adventures or every one something, they can attack anyone in 20
long adventure, everyone levels up. meters without having to move. To
attack someone, roll Explosive. If you roll
Every time you level up, you can add 1 higher than your target’s Endurance+11,
point to any one stat. Every two levels, you knock them out. If you attack
the GM can raise the difficulty of someone who’s been knocked out, don’t
everything you try by 1. bother rolling, you just straight-up cold-
blooded murder them.
So at 2nd level now it takes an 11 to not
screw up, and it takes a 15 to impress Instead of attacking, if you can get in
anyone. When you get to level 5, the GM reach of a character who has been
can start complaining about it being hard Knocked Out, you can get them back on
to balance adventures. When you get to their feet. Roll Efficient, and if you
level 10, you are not allowed to complain succeed, the character is no longer
if they declare the campaign has reached Knocked Out. They’re just fine, they’re
a satisfying ending and is over, or if they ready to go when it gets to be their turn,
spontaneously switch to running a and nothing they’ve got on them has
different game. If you get to level 20 and been damaged in any way. Careful! Your
the GM hasn’t quit yet, then you and enemies can do the same to each other.
your friends have won 5e forever!
Honestly, that ain’t nothing. Not a lot of If you really want, you can attack more
people get that far. You should put it on than one person at the same time, as
your resume. long as they’re all close enough for you
to attack. If you do that, take a -2 to your
Explosive roll for every extra person you
Advanced Tactical attack.

Warfighting Rules
Here’s some special rules if you want to
make a big thing out of any old punch-up
instead of just rolling a die like any other
thing that happens.

First, the GM has to come prepared with

stats for everyone in the fight, including
all the characters who aren’t player
characters – we’ll call them Innocent
Bystanders, or IBs.

Next, everyone rolls Efficient. The GM

rolls for all the IBs.

Then, play goes around in turns, like it’s

gin rummy or pinochle. Character who
rolled highest on Efficient goes first, and
then second highest, and so on.
Character who rolled lowest goes last.

6
Credits
Game design by Lyme:
https://lymetime.itch.io/

“Crinolina” - and the Consequences by

George Cruikshank courtesy National
Gallery of Art, Washington

Saint George and the Dragon by Sodoma

courtesy National Gallery of Art,
Washington

The Cholera Epidemics of 1849 and 1854

by Joseph-Pierre Braemt courtesy
National Gallery of Art, Washington

Layout and character sheet by K:

https://loreshapergames.itch.io/

License
5E - The Roleplaying Game © 2023 by
Lyme is licensed under Creative
Commons Attribution 4.0

International License. This means that

you are free to copy, share, and remix the
text of 5E - The Roleplaying Game for
commercial or noncommercial purposes,
as long as you provide attribution to
Lyme and a link to
https://lymetime.itch.io/5e-rpg.

7
 5E Character Record Sheet Portrait
The world's best fantasy role-playing game!
SPECIES AND DAY JOB

PLAYER CHARACTER NAME

xplosive

fficient
Alignment
FAITHFUL

ndurance JOYOUS SELFLESS

CALCULATING

xcess
SCARY KIND

MERCIFUL
lf
AUTHENTIC BRAVE

Backstory
HONEST

LIGHT