Growing Up Ok
Growing Up Ok
Growing Up Ok
The next few years are going to be filled with a lot of new stuff. All
this change might seem scary. No matter what, you’ll always be
the same unique person you’ve always been.
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Contents
Your Changing Body. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Growing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5
Personal Safety. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
Changing Feelings. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31
Changing Relationships. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
Words to know. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38
Resources . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
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Your
Learning
about your
Changing
body can be
exciting and
Body
empowering!
Some of the changes happen only to boys and others take place
only in girls. Your changing body has changing needs. During
puberty, you’ll need to start paying more attention to caring for
your body. Let’s start by looking at some of the changes that
happen to both boys and girls and tips that can help you take
care of yourself.
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Growing!
Everyone grows at their own rate.
In puberty, you can have growth spurts and grow several
inches in a short time. These spurts might give you
sore, achy muscles (growing pains). You might also feel
clumsy while you get used to your new size. You might
suddenly find that you’re a head taller or shorter than a
friend who’s the same age as you!
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Taking care
of your body
Skin
During puberty, your skin might get pretty oily. All that extra oil
can block your pores (tiny holes in your skin) and cause pimples or
blackheads (zits). Most young people get pimples at some time during
puberty. Some people get a severe case of pimples and blackheads
which is called acne. Acne usually clears up after puberty.
Teeth
Brush your teeth at least twice a day; morning and evening are best,
using toothpaste (with fluoride). Floss once a day to remove plaque
between your teeth. Remember to brush your tongue. It picks up
odours from foods and drinks causing bad breath. It is a good idea to
have a check-up with a dentist at least once a year.
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Hair care
Just like your skin, your hair might be oilier than it used to be. Wash
it regularly to keep it clean.
Body Hair
Both boys and girls will start growing hair in new places: their legs,
under their arms, in the genital area (parts between your legs) and
on their face. The amount of new body hair that grows and when it
starts is different for every person.
Shaving
Not everyone shaves. For some it is a personal choice. For others it
is cultural. When to shave, how to shave and how often to shave are
things you can talk about with an older sibling, a parent/guardian or
another adult you trust.
Body Odour
Both boys and girls start to sweat (perspire) more during puberty
especially when active. The changes to your hormones will give your
sweat a stronger smell. This is especially true for your underarms
and feet. Some things you can do are:
• Try to wash, bathe or shower and put on clean underwear
every day.
• Use deodorant or antiperspirant. Deodorants cover
odour. Antiperpirants prevent sweat from reaching the
surface of the skin. Less sweat means less smell.
• Try to wash your feet and put on a clean pair of socks every
day to reduce foot odour.
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Taking Care
down there
(genitals)
It is important to keep your genital area (parts between your legs)
clean. This helps to prevent rashes or infections and to reduce
odours.
Boys:
• use soap and water to wash your penis,
testicles (balls)and anus (bum).
• wash under and around the
foreskin (loose skin at
the tip of the penis).
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Girls:
• wash the vaginal area and anus (bum) with soap and water.
The inside of the vagina cleans itself naturally. The vagina’s
natural cleaning can leave a slight creamy yellow, odourless
mucus (vaginal discharge) on your underwear. This is
perfectly healthy. Taking regular baths or showers should
leave you feeling clean and fresh.
• Girls should try to wipe from front to back after going to the
bathroom. This will stop harmful bacteria from getting
into the vagina and causing an infection.
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The Male Body
At puberty, reproductive organs (sexual body parts) develop
and mature. In boys, first the testicles or testes (balls) and
then the penis will grow larger. Like all the changes you’ll have
during puberty, these changes won’t happen all at once. Give
yourself time. You will develop at your own pace.
Penis
Prostate Gland
The male sexual organ. Both Bladder
A gland that adds
semen and urine leave the The organ that holds urine (pee).
fluid to sperm to
body through the penis (but
make semen.
never at the same time!) Seminal vesicles
Two small organs - one on each
Foreskin side of the prostate gland - that,
The fold of skin that with the prostate gland, add
may cover fluid to sperm to make semen.
the end of
the penis. Vas Deferens
The vas deferens are tubes
Urethra that carry sperm from the
The tube that testicles to the prostate
carries both urine gland.
or semen through
the penis and out of Anus
the body. The opening from which stool
(poop) leaves the body during a
bowel movement (BM).
Testicles
Two oval glands that hang Epididymis
inside the scrotum. (Testicles Coiled tubes that are attached
are usually a bit lopsided, to the back of the testicles
with one hanging a little lower Scrotum and connect with the vas
than the other). The testicles The sack of loose deferens. Sperm are produced
produce sperm and the skin just behind in the testicles, mature in the
hormone testosterone. the penis. The epididymis, and then move
scrotum holds through the vas deferens to
the testicles. the prostate gland.
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Erection and Ejaculation
The basic function of the male sexual and reproductive
system is to produce reproductive cells called sperm.
Sperm leaves the body through a mixture of body fluids
called semen.
Many things can cause sexual arousal and an erection – even just
looking at someone, or wearing pants that rub against the penis.
Sometimes an erection can happen when you wake up in the
morning with a full bladder.
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Wet Dreams
Sometimes the penis can get erect and ejaculate semen while a
male is asleep and dreaming. This is called a nocturnal emission
(wet dream) and can happen to both boys and grown men. It can
feel uncomfortable to wake up in damp pajamas and sheets, but wet
dreams are natural. Not every boy has wet dreams and that’s ok too.
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?’s for boys
Why does a penis go hard ... is there a bone in it?
Nope. The penis is made of spongy tissue; there is no bone in
it. During an erection the penis fills with blood and this makes it
become hard.
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The Female Body
During puberty, a girl’s reproductive and sexual body parts
reach maturity. Her hips broaden, her breasts develop and
she will begin to have monthly periods (menstruate). These
changes won’t happen overnight. They will take a different
amount of time for each girl.
Uterus Fallopian Tubes
The muscular organ (also called Thin tubes that extend out on both sides of the
the womb) in which a fertilized egg uterus. Fallopian tubes carry the eggs from the
implants and a baby grows. When not ovaries to the uterus.
pregnant, the uterus is about the size Ovaries
and shape of a pear. The two glands, one on
each side of the uterus,
Bladder that produce eggs. The
The organ that holds ovaries also produce the
the urine (pee). hormones estrogen and
progesterone.
Cervix
The lower part of the uterus. It
Vulva
forms a canal that opens into the
A woman’s pubic
vagina, which leads to
area. The vulva
the outside of the body.
includes the sexual
Urethra and reproductive
The tube through which urine organs on the outside
leaves the body. of the body (see below)
– the clitoris, labia and
Vagina vaginal opening.
The passage that goes from the
uterus to the outside of the body.
Clitoris Labia
A sensitive pea-size organ that is Folds of skin that cover
right above the urethra. The clitoris the clitoris and the
gets a bit bigger and more sensitive openings of the vaginal
when it’s touched or when a girl opening and the urethra.
has sexual thoughts or feelings. The Anus
clitoris plays an important part in The opening from which
sexual arousal and orgasm. stool (poop) leaves the
body during a bowel
Uretha
movement (BM).
Vagina
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Breasts
Breasts begin to grow and develop during puberty. There is no set
time that this will start. It is different for every girl. There is also no
one size or shape for breasts to be.
Breasts can sometimes tingle, itch or hurt a little while they are
growing. They will not burst or pop and the skin grows with the rest
of the breast.
There are no exercises or creams that can make your breasts grow
larger. All sizes and shapes of breasts are healthy and are different
for every person.
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Bras
There is no set time to start wearing a bra. Some girls and women
wear a bra only when they are doing sports, others wear one all the
time except when sleeping. Bras are made with different size cups
for different breast sizes.
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Periods (Menstruation)
One of the biggest changes that happen to a girl during puberty is
getting her period (menstruation). Having periods means that your
body is able to have a baby. A period is when you lose fluid, including
blood from your vagina. This is part of a regular cycle of changes that
happens every month or so called the menstrual cycle.
Most girls will start this cycle sometime between the ages of 9 and
16. Each girl is going to start menstruating in her own time. Don’t
worry if you start earlier or later than anyone else.
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The Menstrual Cycle
egg cells
(ova) Females are born with thousands of egg cells
(ova) already in their ovaries. At puberty the ova
begin to ripen and leave the ovaries one at a
time. This is called ovulation.
fallopian tubes
ovary ovary
uterus
Each month (cycle) one egg cell (ovum) leaves an ovary and goes
down a fallopian tube and into the uterus. If a sperm fertilizes the
egg cell, they will join and travel into the uterus. This can happen
during sexual intercourse.
The lining of the uterus becomes thick with blood and fluid to help
support a growing baby. A fertilized egg (embryo) may attach to this
lining in the uterus. This is a pregnancy. If the pregnancy continues,
the embryo will grow into a fetus and then a baby.
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blood/fluid
lining
If the egg cell is not fertilized by a sperm cell, it will dissolve. The
blood/fluid lining of the uterus isn’t needed so it leaves the body
through the vagina. This is menstruation.
Most periods usually last between 2 and 7 days , but the length
of time is different for everyone. During menstruation, about 4 to
6 tablespoons of blood and fluid leave a girl’s body through her
vagina. The amount of blood that
flows each day can vary
throughout her period.
When girls feel
sexually excited, they
may also reach a peak called orgasm
(when muscles in their vagina tighten and
release). This causes feelings of pleasure
and relaxation, but this does not have
anything to do with how and
when the egg comes out.
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Absorbing Mentrual Flow
During her period a girl can use pads or tampons to absorb her
menstrual flow.
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Tampons need to be changed every 4 hours and it is important to
choose the absorbency that is best for you. Start with a slim or junior
tampon. If a tampon is dry or hard to pull out, stop using tampons
for awhile. You can try them again when your period starts to get
heavier. Using tampons the right way can prevent a very rare but
serious infection called toxic shock syndrome.
Tampons are safe and can be comfortable, but using them can take
some practice. When they are put in properly:
• You shouldn’t be able to feel the tampon at all.
• It won’t fall out - the muscles in the walls of your vagina will
hold it in place until you’re ready to take it out.
Tampons won’t get lost inside you. There is a cervix at the end
of the vagina and a tampon can’t get through it.
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?’s about Menstruation
Should I keep track of my period?
Many women like to keep track of their menstrual cycle. It helps
them figure out when they will probably get their next period. To
keep track of your personal menstrual cycle you can count the
number of days from start to end on a calendar. The first day you
bleed is day one and the last day before your next period is the
end of your cycle. The cycle is usually somewhere between 24 and
36 days in total and can be different for everyone. Each time you
menstruate, you can count the number of days. After a few months,
it will be easier to tell when your period may be due.
Your menstrual cycle might not be very regular for the first
year or two. You might even skip your period for a month
or so, and then start getting it again. Sometimes it can
take a while for a girl’s body to get into a pattern.
Things like illness or stress may also cause changes
to the menstrual cycle.
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What if the blood leaks out of the tampon/pad?
Many girls worry about leaking! On days when your flow is heavy,
use a pad or tampon that will absorb more. You can also use a
tampon and a pad or panty-liner together if you are worried about
leaking. Don’t worry if you do have some leakage. Talk to a friend,
parent/guardian, teacher or adult you trust to get some help.
Can you still do all the things you usually do? What about
bathing or sports?
A girl who is menstruating doesn’t need to act any differently than
she usually does. She can exercise, dance, play sports and take a
shower or bath as usual. She can even swim if she uses a tampon.
Feel free to do what you want to do.
Here are some things you can do to make cramps less painful:
• Exercise.
• Take a hot bath.
• Use a hot water bottle on your lower belly (abdomen).
• If your cramps are always very painful, you should see a
doctor, nurse or visit a Teen Clinic.
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Let’s talk Gender:
Identity, Roles
and Expression
What is
Gender?
Understanding gender may seem
simple but it can be pretty complicated.
Gender is the term that society uses to
describe whether we are male or female. Beliefs
about gender can vary from one culture to another.
Express yourself!
Have you thought about what it means to be either male or female?
Gender roles are what people believe about how males and
females are supposed to dress and act. Examples of these might be
dressing boys in blue and girls in pink, or thinking that only men can
work as mechanics and only women can work as nurses.
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This is called our gender expression. Feel good about who
For example, you might be a you are and don’t
guy who likes pink and loves to let other people tell
sew and cook. Or you might you how to express
be a girl who thinks yourself!
blue is the best and you
love cars or climbing trees.
Awesome!
Whether we are born a boy or a girl, we all have our own feelings
inside about being male, female or maybe something else. This is
called our gender identity.
For most people, the way we feel on the inside (our gender identity)
matches how we look outside (our male or female body). For some
people, however, this isn’t the case. A person may even feel that
they are in the wrong body. That means that you may have the
body of a girl but you feel like you’re a boy. Or you have the body of
a boy, but you feel like you’re a girl. If you feel this way, you may be
transgender.
Being transgender isn’t always an easy thing to deal with and you
may find that puberty is a very difficult time. This may be because
your body is changing in ways you are not comfortable with. The
important thing to know is that you are not alone. There are lots of
transgender people in society and people who can help you make
sense of things. (see the back for a list of Resources)
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Did you know...
Your brain is working hard! During puberty, your brain is in one of
the most active stages of growth and change. These changes affect
your thoughts and feelings but also make this a time when learning
and creativity is better than ever!
Your body needs healthy food and plenty of water every day to keep
it running smoothly. Check out Canada’s Food Guide to learn about
the kinds of food you should choose and how much you should eat.
Smoking, using alcohol and other drugs are behaviours that can
affect your health in a negative way. Some kids feel pressure from
friends (peer pressure) to use substances and do stuff they are not
comfortable with. If this happens to you, talk to an adult you trust
about how to handle it.
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Other Stuff...
Sexual Feelings
Male and female bodies respond to sexual thoughts, feelings and
touches – this is called arousal or feeling sexually excited. When
you have these feelings, you might feel changes in your body like
being suddenly hot (flushed) and maybe even a nervous, tingly
feeling. Feelings of sexual arousal can be confusing, but they are
normal and healthy.
Masturbation
Touching and rubbing your own genitals can feel good. This is
called masturbation. People of any age, male and female may
choose to masturbate or not to masturbate. Both choices are safe
and ok. Masturbation should be done in a private place where there
won’t be any interruptions.
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Personal Safety
Your body belongs to you. No one – including relatives,
friends, people in charge of you or strangers – has the
right to touch your body against your wishes.
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Sexual abuse can
also happen without touching.
There are other kinds of abuse that
can happen to kids like physical abuse, emotional
abuse or neglect. To find out more
about this check out the Resources
page at the back of this booklet.
Technology
Using the internet, cell phones and online gaming can be fun and
cool! To make sure it’s safe, here are some tips:
• Never give out any personal information or personal
passwords. Make up usernames that do not allow people to
figure out who you are, where you live or go to school, or even
what sports teams you play for. A stranger can easily track you
down with even the smallest amount of information.
• It is best to chat /game with people you know. If you meet
someone online, don’t believe everything they tell you!
People can lie about their age, gender, location and what
they want from you.
• Be careful about what you share. Once you have shared a
photo or video of yourself it will be out of your control. It can
be copied, used and shared with anyone else without you
even knowing.
• Don’t let other people - including your friends - convince you
to do something you’re unsure about or uncomfortable with.
If something makes you feel weird, talk to a parent/guardian
or another adult you trust about how to handle it.
• Text respectfully! This means giving people time to respond,
not keeping tabs on them, using respectful words and texting
at a good time (not late at night).
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Bullying
When teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and constant, it crosses
the line into bullying. Bullying can be verbal, physical or mental.
Some kids bully by shunning others (ignoring/leaving them out)
or spreading rumours about them. Others use email, chat rooms,
instant messages, social networking websites, and text messages to
taunt others or hurt their feelings. If you are feeling bullied, talk to a
parent/guardian, teacher, or another adult you trust to get help.
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Changing Feelings
As if all the changes to your body weren’t enough, you’ll
notice that your emotions are changing too.
You might begin to have new interests, concerns and new ideas
you want to express. You might also find that sometimes you feel
moody. You might feel terrific one minute and down in the dumps
the next.
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Feeling Grown up
In many ways, you’re starting to feel like an adult. You probably want to
be more independent and make more of your own choices. You might
want to have more privacy or be taken more seriously. You’ll even find
that you don’t like some of the games, books and TV shows you used
to. New interests and feelings are taking the place of old ones.
Feeling Liked
During puberty, you might find that you’re more interested in being
liked by others. It’s natural to worry about being liked. Still, you
shouldn’t have to act like someone else or do things you don’t want
to do just to fit in. Sometimes you might feel awkward, or even left out
and lonely. Don’t be afraid to talk about these feelings with a parent/
guardian, or another adult you trust. Believe it or not, most of your
classmates are feeling the exact same way!
Feeling Attractive
There is no “perfect” Learning to like the
or “normal” body. unique person you are is
Everybody’s body part of being happy and
looks different. accepting yourself.
You might be more interested in
your looks than you used to be. When you think about how much
your body is changing, that’s not surprising! Right now, your body is a
work in progress. You’ll be interested in how it’s going to turn out. You
may worry about how good-looking you are. You might even wish you
could change things about yourself or that you could look more like
the people you see in magazines, on TV or in the movies.
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The truth is that most of us won’t look like models or movie stars but
that doesn’t mean we don’t look good. Often the “ideal” bodies we
see aren’t ideal at all. They are unrealistic and may be unhealthy.
Feeling pressure to look a certain way can affect how you feel about
yourself (self-esteem). Feeling bad about your body, worrying about
your weight or feeling guilty about eating is not healthy. If you are feeling
this way, talk about it with a parent/guardian or another adult you trust.
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Sexual orientation
Sexual refers to your
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Changing
Relationships
Part of growing up is learning to juggle many kinds of
relationships –family, friends and others.
Friends
Friendship is one of the most
important kinds of relationships.
As you get older, your relationships
with your friends can feel just as important, or even more important
than your relationship with your family. You may want to fit in with
a certain group, make new friends or drift away from friends you’ve
outgrown.
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Boyfriends/girlfriends
In the next few years, you will experience many new types of re-
lationships. Some of these situations may feel awkward. Just be
yourself! Others should like you for who you are and respect the
choices you make. Dating allows people to practise developing
personal relationships with someone they like or care about.
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Family
No one family is the same. Look around and you will see all kinds
of families who have different values, rules and expectations.
As you get older your relationships with your family might start
changing too. Even though you are growing and changing, your
family or caregivers are still an an important part of your life and a
good place to go when you need help.
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Words to Know
Knowing and using the right words to talk about sexuality
will make sure that people know exactly what you are
talking about.
acne: Very bad pimples and fallopian tubes: The tubes the ova
blackheads that are hard to get travel down to get from a female’s
rid of. ovaries to her uterus.
anus: Opening where feces (poop) fertilization: When a sperm makes
leaves the body. Both males and its way into an ovum. This starts a
females have one. pregnancy.
arousal: The body’s response foreskin: The loose skin that covers
to sexual thoughts, feelings and the tip of the penis.
touches.
gay: A male who is emotionally and
bladder: The organ that holds urine sexually attracted to people of the
before it leaves the body. Both same gender.
males and females have one.
genitals: The outer sex organs of
circumcision: When the penis’ males and females.
foreskin is removed.
gender: The term to describe the
clitoris: A small, sensitive organ state of being either male or female.
found above the urethra in females. Some cultures recognize more than
two genders
discharge: The term for any
substance that is released from gland: Any organ that makes a
anywhere on the body. substance used in the body. Many
glands make hormones.
ejaculation: The release of semen
from the penis. hormone: A chemical from a gland
that makes cells or tissues to act in
erection: When the tissues of the
a specific way.
penis fill with blood making it larger
and harder. labia: The inner and outer “lips” or
folds of the female vulva. They are
estrogen: One of the two female
on both sides of the vagina.
sex hormones made by the ovaries.
It causes body changes in girls lesbian: A female who is
during puberty. The other is called emotionally and sexually attracted
progesterone. to people of the same gender.
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masturbation: Touching your own period: The common name for
genitals to make you feel good. the time when a female is
menstruating.
menstrual cycle: The female cycle
that starts with menstruation and pituitary gland: A gland that
then continues as the lining of the secretes hormones that cause
uterus builds up and then breaks growth and affect the activities
down again. It usually takes around of other glands. Both males and
a month. females have pituitary glands.
menstruation: Shedding the lining pores: Tiny openings in the outer
of a female’s uterus, which has layer of the skin.
formed in preparation for a fertilized
progesterone: One of the two
egg.
female sex hormones produced by
nocturnal emission: The ejaculation the ovaries – the other is estrogen.
of semen while a male is asleep. It
prostate gland: An organ that adds
is also known as a wet dream.
fluid to sperm to create semen.
orgasm: An intense sensation that
pubic area: The area of the male or
happens at the peak of sexual
female body where the outer sex
arousal. Males usually ejaculate
organs are found.
during orgasm. Some females also
release a fluid during orgasm. reproduction: When sexual
intercourse results in a pregnancy
ovary: The female gland that ripens
and a new baby.
egg cells (ova) and makes the
hormones estrogen and progester- scrotum: The sack of loose skin just
one. behind the penis. It contains and
protects the two testicles.
ovulation: The release of an
ovum from a female’s ovary into a semen: A mixture of fluid and
fallopian tube. sperm that is released from a
male’s penis.
ovum: Egg cell produced in a
female’s ovaries (plural: ova). seminal vesicles: Two small
pouches that add fluid to sperm to
pad: A product that attaches to the
make semen. The prostate gland
inside of a female’s underwear to
also adds fluid to the sperm.
catch and absorb menstrual flow.
It is also called a sanitary napkin or sperm: The male reproductive cells
feminine napkin. made in the testicles.
penis: The tube-like outer sex organ straight: A person who is
of a male. emotionally and sexually attracted
to people of the opposite gender.
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tampon: A small roll of absorbent uterus: A muscular organ located in
material worn inside the vagina to a female’s pelvic region. It holds a
catch and absorb menstrual flow. growing fetus until a baby is born.
The uterus is sometimes called the
testicles: The male sex glands.
womb.
They make sperm and the male
sex hormone testosterone. vagina: The passage that connects
a female’s uterus to the outside of
testosterone: Male sex hormone
her body.
that is made by the testicles. It
causes the changes in boys during vas deferens:The tubes through
puberty. which sperm moves from the
testicles to the prostate gland.
transgender: People who feel
that their gender identity does not vulva: The outer female sex organs.
match with their sexual anatomy-
wet dream: A common name for
that is a girl who feels like she
nocturnal emissions or the
ought to have been a boy or a boy
ejaculation of semen while a male
who feels like he ought to have
is asleep.
been a girl.
urethra: The tube that carries
urine out of the male and
female body. In males, semen
also leaves through the urethra.
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Resources
Here is a list of phone and internet resources that you can
check out if you need help or more information about a topic
you read about in this booklet. You can call or visit these
resources for free.
www.Kidshealth.org
www.cyh.com
www.sexualityandu.ca
www.teentalk.ca
www.cfsh.ca
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Need help?
https://kidshelpphone.ca/
Help and information on:
• bullying
• violence and abuse
• feelings
• school
https://supportline.ca
Farm and rural stress line youth corner – e-mail, live chat
or call 1-866-367-3276
Personal safety:
https://www.mcgill.ca/definetheline/
https://www.prevnet.ca/bullying/kids
https://www.prevnet.ca/bullying/teens
https://www.prevnet.ca/bullying/cyber-bullying
https://www.edu.gov.mb.ca/k12/safe_schools/index.html
https://www.needhelpnow.ca/app/en/
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Things I want to
remember…
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Adapted with permission from Alberta Health
Contact us at:
Healthy Schools
healthyschools@gov.mb.ca
https://www.gov.mb.ca/healthyschools/index.html
Printed in 2015
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