What is love?

Five theories on the greatest emotion of all

The physicist: ‘Love is chemistry’

Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent.
We talk about love being blind or unconditional, in the sense that we have no control over it. But
then, that is not so surprising since love is basically chemistry. While lust is a temporary passionate
sexual desire involving the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and oestrogen, in
true love, or attachment and bonding, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals: pheromones,
dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. However, from an evolutionary
perspective, love can be viewed as a survival tool – a mechanism we have evolved to promote long-
term relationships, mutual defence and parental support of children and to promote feelings of
safety and security.

The psychotherapist: ‘Love has many guises’

Unlike us, the ancients did not lump all the various emotions that we label “love” under the one
word. They had several variations, including:

Philia which they saw as a deep but usually non-sexual intimacy between close friends and family
members or as a deep bond forged by soldiers as they fought alongside each other in
battle. Ludus describes a more playful affection found in fooling around or flirting. Pragma is the
mature love that develops over a long period of time between long-term couples and involves
actively practising goodwill, commitment, compromise and understanding. Agape is a more
generalised love, it’s not about exclusivity but about love for all of humanity.  Philautia is self love,
which isn’t as selfish as it sounds. As Aristotle discovered and as any psychotherapist will tell you,
in order to care for others you need to be able to care about yourself. Last, and probably least even
though it causes the most trouble, eros is about sexual passion and desire. Unless it morphs
into philia and/or pragma, eros will burn itself out.

Love is all of the above. But is it possibly unrealistic to expect to experience all six types with only
one person. This is why family and community are important.

The philosopher: ‘Love is a passionate commitment’

The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing. Love for parents, partners,
children, country, neighbour, God and so on all have different qualities. Each has its variants –
blind, one-sided, tragic, steadfast, fickle, reciprocated, misguided, unconditional. At its best,
however, all love is a kind a passionate commitment that we nurture and develop, even though it
usually arrives in our lives unbidden. That’s why it is more than just a powerful feeling. Without
the commitment, it is mere infatuation. Without the passion, it is mere dedication. Without
nurturing, even the best can wither and die.

The romantic novelist: ‘Love drives all great stories’

What love is depends on where you are in relation to it. Secure in it, it can feel as mundane and
necessary as air – you exist within it, almost unnoticing. Deprived of it, it can feel like an obsession;
all consuming, a physical pain. Love is the driver for all great stories: not just romantic love, but
the love of parent for child, for family, for country. It is the point before consummation of it that
fascinates: what separates you from love, the obstacles that stand in its way. It is usually at those
points that love is everything.

The nun: ‘Love is free yet binds us’

Love is more easily experienced than defined. As a theological virtue, by which we love God above
all things and our neighbours as ourselves for his sake, it seems remote until we encounter it
enfleshed, so to say, in the life of another – in acts of kindness, generosity and self-sacrifice. Love’s
the one thing that can never hurt anyone, although it may cost dearly. The paradox of love is that it
is supremely free yet attaches us with bonds stronger than death. It cannot be bought or sold; there
is nothing it cannot face; love is life’s greatest blessing

What is love?
Why we are so partial about it? End up mostly or relate to Man and Women.

Why we forget the first love starts from a mother to her child too, the warmth both share, the
feeling of the child and mother being closer. Unfortunately, we cannot connect anymore to the
childlike love. As it is impossible as we grow and meet the unknown desires…wizard and mostly
chasing a beautiful mirage with most of the younger generation!

Yet, a truth that love has no boundaries, the warmth, the sweet hug, the light kiss on the cheek,
defines the warmth we feel for each other.So what makes us , feel sad or excited when few in love?
As it’s a spontaneous and natural feeling perhaps pure unplanned!Are we confused over
togetherness as being mere physical longing or we can try to connect the spirituality, true
happiness, smile, care, share which is connected to the warmth we feel in love!

Just like a child in the mothers womb…breathing in peace and harmony with the body and soul it
is connected!!!

The restless vibration within, the loss of breadth, the feeling of loneliness, shall we state this part of
love as mere longing.Just like we wait the seasons to bring changes outside ,be it
spring,autumn,winter,fearing the summer or fearing the chilled ,windy winter, or as a weather
which pass away quickly, leaving us either too hot, too cold, too happy or simply searching for the
true meaning our entire life.

Has anyone ever tried to simplify the meaning? we ignore the little ones as they play freely in the
play ground or our closed room, looking out for freedom to feel the sun, and be with the play
mates, there perhaps the love is for freedom…and yes! The word again connects to love for
freedom of expression.

Hence love is freedom, and respecting our true expressions. We need to be free…as a bird…not as
a prisoners ,Imprisoned by our own interest ,desire, lust, longing,which alone can come from
understanding of self and the society we live in,acceptance of our ideas or thoughts,feelings or
desires .

To create true understanding of people and the world around or feel the freedom, we need to be a
child once again…who look out side the boundary wall to see his playmates playing in the mud…
making sand castles…which the child cherish with the knowledge or understanding, the fact that it
would break any second ,and need to know that it’s the freedom they cherished in playing in the
mud..And building the castle,need to give patience,care,and support to hold the delicate sand with
utmost care, to build the sand castle which could break any time and flow with the waves away
away!!!

As the shore, cannot stop from new waves to break the castle we build outside our home or play!
Similarly, once love is taken as escapism from reality, loneliness, or mere desires, to fill the
voidness in life, there we lose the freedom for ever.and end up giving self mental and physical insult
& pain

Instead feel the warmth of all, our family, friends, child,the place we live and cherish. Can anybody
claim, they do not love all these fact they proudly keep, or cherish and feel the smile each share
silently?

Our body just reflects the outer outcome…and life would seem always incomplete with ever
increasing melancholy, longing for some unknown ,loss of appetite, sleep, mental havoc it create
outside and within…people lose the belief in others kind words , ignore life’s blessings ,and would
end up always seeing negative even in the best people, words or situation.

Hence the choice is ours…to feel free to love the mankind, or make love just as a longing..and feel
the life with it or without a miserable game to follow. Always search and be with people who are
dear and near to you, and believe in people who care for you even from far way, with words,
positive gestures and blessings.

Love is freedom, to express self in a pure ,true mannerism, accept self, accept weaker section, our
parents in the old age, the happiness we feel when a child is holding on to us ,for every little
thing ,where we are not impatient or angered by there constant query. Love is forgiveness,
empathy, respecting each others thought and action, patience, understanding, compassion, faith,
trust, warmth of each other, lets not make it a game, where we feel either winner of hearts, or
losers. Never lose the freedom to express, truth, a child look utmost for truth from parents, and
similarly as we grow old, seek truth from our child.

Love the freedom pure caring and sharing make us feel….as we see the smile never fades from our
face.
Keep smiling friends..love the life, people ,in the right way…and win the freedom ,of true
expression…throwing unwanted desires to the dustbinJFill your heart with knowledge in
abundance, respect for the opposite sex,be proud of your emotions, which is our best friend as well
as worst too!

Aids stress management

As you likely know by now, I believe that your body’s ability to handle stress is key for maintaining
optimal health. Accordingly, I recommend a four-step plan to support your body’s stress
management, and one of those steps is all about the mind-body connection. Basically, you need to
make time for positivity in your life, and one of the most positive, rewarding experiences in life is to
give and receive love. And now scientists are finding that one of the biggest health benefits of love is
its ability to lower stress.
In fact, one study revealed that when couples held hands for 10 minutes and then followed up by
hugging for 20 seconds, they displayed healthier responses to stressful events. [1] But what caused
that to happen?
Well, when you’re giving or receiving love, the hormone oxytocin is released into your
bloodstream. Believe it or not, oxytocin can actually induce anti-stress effects by suppressing the
production of cortisol (the stress hormone). [2] How incredible is it that just being with someone
you love has the power to benefit your health and well-being in such a profound way?

2. Boosts the immune system

I know what you’re thinking … can this really be one of the health benefits of love? And the
answer is a resounding yes! The simple act of receiving affection from loved ones can actually
help boost your immune system!
In a 2018 study, researchers followed 404 adults to observe how receiving hugs impacted their
moods and levels of conflict. Amazingly, they ended up revealing that being hugged more often was
associated with decreased likelihood of catching infectious diseases, meaning that hugs actually
supported the participants’ immune systems. [3] Furthermore, participants who were sick and
experienced more hugs had less severe symptoms than those who were hugged less.

3. Helps reduce aches and pains

Have you ever noticed that when you’re in emotional pain, you turn to your loved ones for
comfort? Well, as it turns out, they can help ease your physical pain as well!
According to a study published in 2010, simply looking at a photo of a romantic partner can help
decrease pain. Participants who did so while experiencing pain reported a reduction in pain by up
to 44 percent. Furthermore, the study revealed that the intensity of more severe pain decreased by
up to 13 percent. The researchers hypothesized that looking at a romantic partner’s photo may
actually trigger the release of natural opioids in your body, effectively reducing pain. [4]

4. Supports healthy blood pressure

Another one of the great health benefits of love is its ability to support cardiovascular health by
helping to regulate your blood pressure. In fact, several studies have shown how giving and
receiving love can help to lower your blood pressure.
A review published in 2015 confirmed that a high-quality spousal relationship was associated with
lower blood pressure, while having an “ambivalent” partner was linked to higher blood pressure
rates. [5] This study shows that truly feeling loved and valued can help to manage your blood
pressure levels. But you don’t have to be married to take advantage of this love-related health
benefit.
Did you know that loving a pet can also help you manage your blood pressure? Numerous studies
have shown that caring for and even touching your pet, such as petting your dog, helps to lower
blood pressure in people. [6] As you may know, I have three dogs, and I simply love cuddling up
with them after a long day at work. It’s nice to have that time with them while knowing it helps to
relieve my stress and also support my heart health!
5. Boosts energy
Think about the last time you saw someone you truly love after being away from them for a while.
Whether it’s a parent, sibling, spouse, child, or friend, when you first lay eyes on them, you likely
feel a surge of excitement and vitality. And now it’s been proven: One of the official health benefits
of love is its ability to boost your energy!
According to a 2014 study published in the journal Psychophysiology, participants who thought
about their partners experienced a significant energy boost 10 and 25 afterwards. [7] So, if you find
yourself lagging during the day, you could save the cost of the cup of coffee and instead spend a few
minutes thinking about someone special in your life to give you a jolt of energy!

6. Reduces risk of depression and anxiety

You know that loneliness increases your risk of depression and anxiety, so it only makes sense that
one of the health benefits of love is its power to decrease this risk. After all, when you feel loved,
supported, and protected, you feel at peace.
Interestingly, a 10-year study on almost 5,000 participants revealed people with the highest quality
social relationships had the lowest risk of developing major depression. Meanwhile, those who had
the lowest quality relationships had the highest risk. [8]
If you suspect someone may be suffering from depression and/or anxiety, I want to encourage you
to reach out and help them feel supported. It may just change their lives—and yours.

7. Linked to longer life expectancy

This may be one of the most surprising health benefits of love—but not for the reason you’re
thinking!
While it’s been well-documented that married couples tend to live longer than people who are
single, there’s a more shocking line of research regarding the health benefits of love and life
expectancy. And it’s all based around the specific act of giving love, not receiving it.
One of the biggest ways we show love is to show that we care. Interestingly, caregiving has been
associated with lower mortality rates. In fact, did you know that grandparents who help care for
their grandchildren have a 37 percent lower mortality rate than those who don’t watch their
grandchildren? [9] But there’s more! The researchers revealed that even childless participants who
helped others had longer life expectancies than those who didn’t help people in their social
networks. Perhaps there’s truth to the old saying that it’s better to give love than receive it—at
least in terms of your health!
Now, it’s worth mentioning that when you’re placed in the role of caregiver for another adult, such
as a parent or grandparent, it can become a very stressful situation. After all, it’s hard to have that
responsibility while also watching your loved one(s) struggle. So, it can become a very slippery
slope. Although it can be difficult to do so, try to focus on the amazing care and love you’re sharing
with a dependent. And make sure you’re supporting your body’s stress response the proper
nutrition, herbs, activity, and rest. You’ve got this!

1.  The Connected Kiss – Kissing your spouse like you

mean it.

2.  The 7 Second Hug – Hugging your spouse for 7 long

seconds.
3.  The Catch Me Up Chat – Spending 5-10 minutes each
day talking to your spouse about your day.

https://www.relationshipswork.com/blog/how-to-
create-the-habit-of-love#:~:text=How%20to
%20Create%20the%20Habit%20of%20Love%201,for
%20sex.%20...%205%205%29%20Laugh%20together.
%20

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/
innovation-you/201210/8-habits-love

https://mindfulselflove.com/how-to-be-more-
loveable

https://www.wisdomhunters.com/real-love-
contagious/

https://www.diane.ro/2010/05/teoria-lui-platon-
despre-dragoste.html