DR DOLITTLE JR.

SCRIPT

NAME: __________________________________

CHARACTER(S): __________________________
CAST

DOCTOR JOHN DOLITTLE - a country doctor

MADELINE MUGG - Dolittle's Irish friend and animal lover
TOMMY STUBBINS - a 10-year old local boy
GENERAL BELLOWES - a local landowner and magistrate
EMMA FAIRFAX - General Bellowes' niece

ALBERT BLOSSOM - a circus owner

GERTIE BLOSSOM - Albert Blossom's wife

1
BERTA, VLADIMIR, MAVIS - circus folk

STRAIGHT ARROW - Dolittle's colleague on Sea Star Island

BAILIFF - officer of the court

POLYNESIA - a parrot
JIP - a dog
HERBERT - a hedgehog
DAB-DAB - a duck
TOGGLE - a horse
SHEILA - a fox
PUSHMI-PULLYU - a two-headed Ilama
RUFUS - a dog
CHEE-CHEE - a monkey
SOPHIE - a seal

VILLAGERS OF PUDDLEBY-ON-THE-MARSH
SEA STAR ISLAND WARRIORS
CIRCUS FOLK

2
PROLOGUE
(#1 – DOCTOR DOLITTLE)
(DOLITTLE summons all of the ANIMALS to the stage. The ANIMALS
and DOLITTLE sing to the audience to introduce them to this world.)

This is the world of Doctor Dolittle

The wonderful world of Doctor Dolittle
Where crocodiles talk, and elephants sing,
and animals do most any old thing
Where polar bears wear top hats
and leopards with spots wear spats.

Well that’s
life in the world of Doctor Dolittle
Doves start to coo when they see Dolittle
He has a profound philosophy,
if animals can be friends, says he,
well then,
why can’t we?

Say “How d’you do” to Doctor Dolittle

Where life is a zoo to Doctor Dolittle
Where antelopes lope and ostriches fan,
and kangaroos do what kangaroos can
To make the hyenas laugh,
as long as a long giraffe

Ev’ry
calf starts to moo when they see Dolittle
Even the few who used to moo little.
For all of the birds and beasts agree
He has a profound philosophy,
So why can’t we?
Do little things to help him?
Why can’t we?

3
 (DOLITTLE and the ANIMALS all leave stage)
(#2 – MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR ins)

SCENE 1
(PUDDLEBY-ON-THE-MARSH)
(The VILLAGERS of Puddleby-On-The-Marsh slowly gather in the
town Square.)

MADELINE: The year is 1837. We are in Puddleby-On-The-Marsh.

TOMMY: A fishing village in the west of England.

MADELINE: My name is Madeline Mugg. Maddie for short. I'm Irish and I'm the local
Cats' Meat vendor, which means I Sell fish and meat Scraps for all the
cats in Puddleby, and that's how I got to know Doctor Dolittle.

ΤΟΜΜΥ: My name is Tommy Stubbins. I'm just a kid. But John Dolittle is the
most amazing human being I ever met in my entire life!

MADELINE: Doctor Dolittle is the only man in the history of the world who ever learned
how to talk to the animals!

ΤΟΜΜΥ: He knows everythin' there is to know about Science, an’ the Sun an'
the moon an' the Stars!

MADELINE: He's altogether a marvelous man – and he understands the Irish. He

can blarney with the best of us.

ΤΟΜΜΥ: Everyone loves Doctor Dolittle. He is far and away the most popular
man in Puddleby.

MADELINE: He has his medical practice in a small house just outside the village.
He used to be an ordinary people doctor, which would have been perfect,
except for one tiny little detail — he was a terrible doctor!
(DOLITTLE crosses the stage reading a large book.)

General Bellowes is here to see you, Doctor.

DOLITTLE: (doesn't look up from his book)

Did you know, Maddie, that an ant has more intelligence than a
hippopotamus?

4
 (The VILLAGERS all smile and laugh quietly amongst themselves.)

MADELINE: Can't say I did, Sir, no. The -er – General's not in a very good mood.

DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: … And that a grasshopper, in relation to his size, has more power in his
hind legs than a kangaroo?

MADELINE: That's good to know, sir.

DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: This is fascinating stuff, Madeline.
(DΟLΙΤΤLΕ exits, followed by TOMMY. )

(#3 – MY FRIEND THE DOCTOR)

MADELINE:
My friend the Doctor says the
moon is made of apple pie
and once a month it's eaten by the sun.
And that is why up in the sky
you'll find as ev'ry month goes by
somebody in the sky's makin' another one.

My friend the Doctor says the

stars are made of lemon drops,
the bigger ones are lollipops and ice,
The clouds have shops up on the tops
that sell you sweets and soda pops.
What do they call the place, isn't it paradise?

VILLAGERS:
Maybe what the Doctor tells us
isn't altogether true
But we love ev’ry tale he tells us
We don't know any better ones,
do you?

ALL:
My friend the Doctor says
the world is full of fantasy,
and who are you and I to disagree?

5
 Let's hope and pray that is the way
The life we love will always stay
For my friend the Doctor,
My friend the Doctor
and me!
MADELINE:
My friend the Doctor and me!

SCENE 2
(DOCTOR DOLITTLE'S LIBRARY / CLINIC)
(POLYNESIA the parrot stands on DOLITTLE's desk, watching as
MADELINE ushers in GENERAL BELLOWES, a ferocious looking
man not used to being kept waiting. He bursts unceremoniously into
the room, leaning heavily on a walking stick, and hobbling on a
heavily bandaged foot.)

6
DOLITTLE: Won't you please come in, General Bellowes? What seems to be the
problem?
BELLOWES: These pills you gave me last week. They've done absolutely nothing to
cure my gout!

(BELLOWES lobs the bottle of pills into the air. To catch them,
DOLITTLE drops the heavy book he is holding. It lands on
BELLOWES' bandaged foot. He roars with pain, and Staggers back,
falling into a large armchair. He screams in a renewed agony,
leaping back up on to his feet and clutching his rear.)

BELLOWES: Aaah! What was that?!

DOLITTLE: (calmly)
Oh, don't worry! You just sat on Herbert.
BELLOWES: Who the devil is Herbert?
DOLITTLE: He's a hedgehog.
BELLOWES: What's a hedgehog doing in a doctor's office?
DOLITTLE: He's recuperating.
BELLOWES: Recuperating? A hedgehog? From what?

DOLITTLE: He had a narrow escape from the hounds of The Puddleby Fox Hunt, of
which I believe you are Master. He's also recovering from being sat on.
BELLOWES: Never mind that. What about my gout? And those useless pills?
DOLITTLE: Well, let's see now.
(looks at the pills)
Ah, no wonder! These are Jip's distemper pills. I wondered what had
happened to them.
BELLOWES: Jip?
DOLITTLE: My dog. This explains why he's not feeling any better, either! — I've been
treating him for gout! Here, Jip!
(JIP trots gratefully over to DOLITTLE, who pops a pill into his mouth.
JIP barks in gratitude. DOLITTLE takes a second bottle of pills from

7
 his desk and offers them to BELLOWES.)
Here, we'd better Swap. Sorry about that.

BELLOWES: (furious)
I think you'd better make up your mind, Sir, whether you're running a
medical practice or an animal Sanctuary! Good day, Sir!
(BELLOWES staggers out of the room. DOLITTLE Shakes his head
in despair.)

MADELINE: Well, that went well.

DOLITTLE: I think Bellowes' distemper is worse than Jip's.
MADELINE: Maybe he shoulda kept both bottles!
DOLITTLE: Mind you, Jip seemed perfectly happy with the gout pills. You see, that's
the difference between animals and people, Maddie.
Animals don't complain!
MADELINE: The truth is, Doctor, you prefer animals to people!
DOLITTLE: Animals are so much nicer than people! I care about animals! That's
probably why I'm such a terrible people doctor!
(POLYNESIA speaks for the first time.)
POLYNESIA: Then you should be an animal doctor.
DOLITTLE: (thoughtfully)
An animal doctor?
POLYNESIA: Why not? I could bring you hundreds of patients. Mildred was saying just
the other day that there isn't a decent animal doctor for miles around!
DOLITTLE: Who's Mildred?
POLYNESIA: Farmer Green's cow.
MADELINE: You mean you spoke to her? Animals can actually talk to one another?
POLYNESIA: Well, of course we can! Do you think we're all dumb?
MADELINE: I – uh – uh – no!! No. I knew that parrots could talk, of course...
POLYNESIA: Parrots are the finest linguists in the animal kingdom. I speak over two
thousand languages, including Dodo and Unicorn.
MADELINE: Unicorn?
POLYNESIA: I had a classical education.

8
DOLITTLE: (thoughtfully)
Polynesia... do you think I could learn to talk to animals?
POLYNESIA: I don't see why not? You're quite intelligent.
DOLITTLE: There must be hundreds of different dialects…
POLYNESIA: Thousands!
DOLITTLE: It could take months!
POLYNESIA: Years!
DOLITTLE: But if I Succeeded, I could become the greatest animal doctor in the
World!
(DOLITTLE makes the decision.)
Polynesia, I want you to teach me everything you know!
POLYNESIA: What, two thousand languages?
DOLITTLE: Certainly! Starting at eight o'clock tomorrow morning!
POLYNESIA: But it took me over a hundred years!
DOLITTLE: Then we'll Start at Seven O’clock! There's not a moment to lose!
Polynesia, think what it would mean…

(#4 – TALK TO THE ANIMALS (PART 1))

DOLITTLE: (traditionally mostly spoken)

If I could talk to the animals, just imagine it,
chatting to a chimp in Chimpanzee
POLYNESIA: Oh, my-oh-me
DOLITTLE:
Imagine talking to a tiger, chatting with a cheetah,
what a neat achievement it would be.
POLYNESIA: Believe you me!
DOLITTLE:
If we could talk to the animals, learn their languages,
maybe take an animal degree
POLYNESIA: A Ph.D.
DOLITTLE:

9
 I'd study Elephant and Eagle, Buffalo and Beagle,
Alligator, Guinea Pig, and Flea.
POLYNESIA: And Bumblebee!
DOLITTLE:
I would converse in Polar Bear and Python.
And I would curse in fluent Kangaroo.
POLYNESIA: To name a few!
DOLITTLE:
If people asked me "Can you speak Rhinoceros?"
I'd say, "Of course-ros. Can't you?"
POLYNESIA: Good for you!
DOLITTLE:
If I conferred with our furry friends, man to animal,
think of the amazing repartee.
POLYNESIA: Oh, I agree!

DOLITTLE:
If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals,
grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,
and they could talk to me.

DOLITTLE: For instance, Polynesia, how would I say “Good Morning" to old Jip
here? In dog talk, I mean...
POLYNESIA: Simple. Woof! Woof!
(POLYNESIA barks and shakes her left leg. JIP does the same.)
DOLITTLE: Was that it?
POLYNESIA: Yes.
DOLITTLE: Amazing. What was all that leg-shaking business?
POLYNESIA: That's part of "Good Morning." Most animal languages are a mixture of
sounds and movements.
DOLITTLE: And you just put the two together…
POLYNESIA: (parrot-style)
Who's a clever boy?

10
DOLITTLE: Extraordinary. Now let me try.
(DOLITTLE turns to JIP, barks at him and shakes his right leg, rather
awkwardly. JIP does nothing.)
He didn't answer me.
POLYNESIA: No, that was your right leg. That means “Good night.”
DOLITTLE: Ah! Sorry, Jip. Try again.
(DOLITTLE barks and shakes his left leg. JIP replies in kind.)
He answered! Did you see that?
(overjoyed)
He answered! Polynesia, I speak Dog! It's incredible!

(#5 – TALK TO THE ANIMALS (PART 2))

DOLITTLE: It's impossible! But it's true!

DOLITTLE + POLYNESIA:
A man can talk to the animals. It's a miracle!
In a year from now I guarantee.
I'll be the marvel of the mammals, playing chess with camels,
no more just a boring old M.D!
POLYNESIA: All thanks to me!
DOLITTLE:
I'll learn to speak in Antelope and Turtle.
My Pekingese will be extremely good.
If I am asked to sing in Hippopotamus,
I'll say, "Why not-a-mus?"
And I would!
DOLITTLE + POLYNESIA:
If you just stop and think a bit, there's no doubt of it,
I will win a place in history!
When I can walk with the animals, talk with the animals,
grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals,
and they can squeak
and squawk
and speak
and talk
to me.

11
 (In a delirium of triumph, DOLITTLE throws himself into the big
armchair and lands on HERBERT. DOLITTLE screams.)
(#6 – PUDDLEBY-ON-THE-MARSH ins)

JIP: An' from that day forward, John Dolittle gave up being a people doctor an'
devoted his life not only to looking after animals, but to talking to them in
their own languages.
HERBERT: Some languages were simple, with a very small vocabulary – like Mouse,
Rabbit, Sheep an’ Cow – but others were ancient, an' very complex – like
Tortoise, Elephant and Armadillo.
JIP: But by the end of five years, with Polynesia as his teacher, Doctor Dolittle
could speak several hundred animal languages fluently! An' most of ‘em
were livin' in the house!

SCENE 3
(DOLITTLE'S LIBRARY - FIVE YEARS LATER)
(The library is now alive with animals. BIRDS nest on the library
shelves. RABBITS and other small FARM ANIMALS are comfortably
installed in every corner of the room, including CHEE-CHEE, a
monkey. DOLITTLE, with a tube in his mouth, is blowing bubbles into
a lobster tank containing one large solitary lobster as MADELINE
enters with TOMMY STUBBINS, who is carrying a duck.)

DOLITTLE: (looks up)

Ah, hello, Maddie! Very tricky, these fish languages. They only work
underwater! The basic system is mouth movements and bubble signals.
So far, I can only make big bubbles, and the lobster keeps telling me I’m
shouting!
MADELINE: Pardon me ignorance, Sir, but why would you want to talk to a lobster in
the first place?
(DOLITTLE points to a large picture of the Great Pink Sea Snail on
the wall behind him.)

DOLITTLE: There! See? The legendary Great Pink Sea Snail! For hundreds of years
sailors claim to have seen it! Well, I don't believe it is legendary! I believe
he exists!... And that he is the oldest and wisest creature ever to inhabit
the Earth!
MADELINE: I still don't see what that's got to do wi' lobsters!

12
DOLITTLE: And so I'm planning a voyage to go and find him... if I can get enough
money together. And if I find him, Maddie, I'm going to want to talk to him!
But to do that, I have to learn ancient Shellfish, So I'm Starting with basic
fish languages – like Cod... Halibut... Dover Sole...
ΤΟΜΜΥ: ...and Lobster!
DOLITTLE: Exactly! Well done, Tom.
MADELINE: Oh, forgive me, Doctor — Tom's brought a patient for you.
ΤΟΜΜΥ: It's a duck, Sir.
DOLITTLE: Actually it's a drake!
(DOLITTLE quacks at DAB-DAB, who quacks back.)
TOMMY: He's hurt his wing, sir.
DOLITTLE: Yes, so he's just been telling me. Oh...
DAB-DAB: Quack, Quack.
DOLITTLE: ... poor chap, yes. I'm Sorry. He says his name's Dab-Dab.
DAB-DAB: Quack, quack.
DOLITTLE: ... it seems he'd had a row with his wife, wasn't looking where he was
going, and flew straight into the mast of some fishing boat.
TOMMY: You mean he told you all that?
DOLITTLE: Yes…
(administering to DAB-DAB)
Quack, quack, quack! There we are.
DAB-DAB: Quack, Quack, Quack.
DOLITTLE: You'll be all right by the morning.
DAB-DAB: Quack, Quack, Quack.
DOLITTLE: (to DAB-DAB)
Absolutely, I'll get word to your wife.
(DAB-DAB exits.)
ΤΟΜΜΥ: So what else can you speak apart from Duck, Doctor?
MADELINE: When it comes to animal languages, Tom, you name it, he can speak it!
A to Z... Alligator to Zebra! How many languages do you speak now,
Doctor?
DOLITTLE: Four hundred and ninety-eight, Maddie. And with Lobster it'll be four
hundred and ninety-nine!

13
TOMMY: I think that's fantastic!
DOLITTLE: But I'll need more than languages before I can start my search for the
Great Pink Sea Snail! Long sea voyages cost money. But I tell you…

(#7 – THE TIME OF OUR LIVES)

DOLITTLE: ...it's gonna be the adventure of a lifetime!
If you come with me, my friends, I hereby guarantee, my friends,
together we will have the time of our lives!
+ MADELINE:
We'll share adventures great and small, amazing stories, short and tall,
make ev'ry day the most sublime of our lives!
+ POLYNESIA:
We’ll travel north, south, east an' west, the west, they say's by far the best!
There's more to see in life
than Sunday in St. Ives!
+ TOMMY:
We'll paint the world red,white an' blue which, as you know, all great men do
as we go sail-ing through the prime of our lives
Having the time of our lives!

(The ANIMALS join on an "ooh" in the style of their animal.)

DOLITTLE:
Cos if we miss this golden chance to find adventure and romance,
well that would be the greatest crime of our lives!
TOMMY:
I don't care if we never rest til we climb our Everest!
Without a doubt the greatest climb of our lives!

DOLITTLE, MADELINE, POLYNESIA, TOMMY:

We’ll travel hither travel yon each day a new phenomenon!
We may not get back home till Christmas time arrives!

14
 But we'll find out along the way that life begins up on the day
we learn to spend the summertime of our lives
having the time of our lives!
Having the time of our lives!

(As the song ends, TOGGLE, the plough-horse, ambles into the
roот.)
DOLITTLE: Ah, Toggle! Good morning! Poor old Toggle's getting a bit shortsighted in
his old age.
MADELINE: Blind as a bat!
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: Maddie... Shush!... You'll upset the bats!
MADELINE: Sorry, Doctor.
DOLITTLE: Toggle's come for his eye test.
(DOLITTLE and TOGGLE neigh greetings. DOLITTLE gets a gigantic
pair of green spectacles. He fits them onto TOGGLE's nose.)
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: There now... we'll just try these. Ought to be better than last time.
(DOLITTLE adjusts the giant spectacles on TOGGLE's nose.)
All right, Toggle — let's see how we're doing.

(DOLITTLE crosses to a large eye test card on an easel. Instead of

letters, the card is marked with bales of hay and turnips and carrots
in diminishing sizes. DOLITTLE picks up a pointer. TOGGLE neighs
responses as DOLITTLE moves down the card. TOMMY Watches
open-mouthed.)
DOLITTLE: Good. Good. Very good. Excellent.
(DOLITTLE peers closely at the tiny bottom row of carrots.)
My word! Toggle, you've got better eyesight than I have!
MADELINE: See what I mean Tom?... Pure genius.
(DOLITTLE is delighted with TOGGLE's eye test. He puts down the
pointer, takes some sugar from his pocket and feeds it to TOGGLE.)
DOLITTLE: Polynesia, remember that Toggle owes me a free ride next time I have to
go to Plymouth or Penzance.
POLYNESIA: Toggle, one free ride to Plymouth or Penzance.

15
 (An attractive young woman, EMMA FAIRFAX, enters carrying
SHEILA, a fox, cradled in her arms.)
EMMA: Good morning. Doctor Dolittle?
DOLITTLE: (taken aback)
Yes. Good morning.
EMMA: I understand you're a vet.
DOLITTLE: (haughtily)
I am an animal doctor, Madam.
EMMA: That's what I said. I found this poor little fox…
(SHEILA, in pain, squeaks appealingly at DOLITTLE.)
DOLITTLE: Oh, my word! That's terrible!
(DOLITTLE immediately takes the fox from EMMA and squeaks back
in reply. DOLITTLE and SHEILA exchange dialogue. EMMA stares in
amazement.)
EMMA: What on earth are you doing?
DOLITTLE: Please don't interrupt.
(DOLITTLE squeaks again at SHEILA, and examines her front right
paw.)
EMMA: (explaining)
I found this fox...
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: She's a vixen. Yes, I know. She just told me exactly what happened.
EMMA: (uncomprehendingly)
She what?
DOLITTLE: Maddie, get some bandages. She's in a lot of pain.
(to SHEILA)
Don't worry, Sheila. Help is on the way.
EMMA: Would you please explain... Sheila?
DOLITTLE: That's her name. Got her right front paw caught in a trap up near The
Grange.
ЕММА: I know. That's where I found her. That horrible Puddleby Hunt sets off
from there every Sunday morning.
DOLITTLE: It's that miserable wretch of a man who lives up there. General Bellowes.
Him and his infernal fox hunting. The man deserves to be shot.

16
EMMA: General Bellowes...
DOLITTLE: He certainly does.
EMMA: ...is my uncle!
DOLITTLE: I'm Sorry.
EMMA: I accept your apology.
DOLITTLE: I mean I'm sorry he's your uncle. The man's a menace. I still think he
should be shot. Absolutely!
EMMA: You are an extremely discourteous man, Doctor Dolittle.
DOLITTLE: I didn't ask you to come here, Miss Bellowes, though I'm glad for Sheila's
sake that you did.
EMMA: My name is not Bellowes. My name is Emma Fairfax.
(EMMA looks around and sees TOGGLE. EMMA's eyes narrow.
Tempers rise steadily as the dialogue continues.)
EMMA: That's Toggle! That's General Bellowes' plough-horse! What's he doing
here? You are a horse thief, Sir.
DOLITTLE: Toggle has been a patient of mine for Several years!
EMMA: It's no use you trying to disguise him.
DOLITTLE: He's wearing glasses because he's shortsighted!
EMMA: That won't sound very convincing in front of the magistrate!
DOLITTLE: Magistrate?
EMMA: When my uncle hears about this, he will undoubtedly prosecute. And I
don't fancy your chances in Court. He's the magistrate! And you, Sir, are
nothing more than a quack!
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: Please – not in front of the duck!
EMMA: (speechless with outrage)
Oooh! You're impossible!

(#8 – ENTRANCE OF THE PUSHMI-PULLYU ins)

(EMMA storms out as a box is delivered.)
(A large box is brought onstage. POLYNESIA is standing on top of it.
CHEE-CHEE signals and "tells” the DOCTOR the box is for him.
DOLITTLE, MADELINE and TOMMY approach the box with mingled
surprise and suspicion. It is addressed to Doctor Dolittle, Puddleby,

17
 England and covered in labels. 'FRAGILE,' 'LIVESTOCK,' 'THIS WAY
UP,' ‘POPSIPETEL-PUDDLEBY,” and 'HANDLE WITH CARE’
prominent among them. DOLITTLE walks slowly around the box.
TOMMY points to the POPSIPETEL- PUDDLEBY’ label.)
TOMMY: Look, Doctor! It's from a place called Popsipetel!
MADELINE: It's probably that Pink Snail you were lookin' for.
DOLITTLE: No, it's not big enough for that! What do you suppose it is?
MADELINE: We could always open it an’ find out!
DOLITTLE: Good thinking, Maddie. Here we are! It says “Open Here!”
(DOLITTLE opens the crate.)
Goodness me! It's a llama! Come on, lad! I think he's nervous. And I'm
afraid my Llama's a bit rusty. Not much call for it in Puddleby. Open up
the other end and give him a gentle shove, will you, Maddie?
(MADELINE opens the other end.)
MADELINE: Doctor! There's another one up this end! There's two of 'em!
DOLITTLE: Two llamas! How thoughtful of somebody! Really, people can be awfully
kind!
ΤΟΜΜΥ: What are you going to do with them, Doctor? Maybe we could have llama
races?
MADELINE: ...Or make ourselves a couple of nice overcoats!
DOLITTLE: Maddie!
MADELINE: Sorry, Doctor.
DOLITTLE: I don't believe it... it can't be! It is! It is!
MADELINE: What? What? What?
DOLITTLE: It's a Pushmi-Pullyu! Look!
(The two-headed PUSHMI-PULLYU slowly emerges.)
TOMMY: What are they saying, Doctor?
DOLITTLE: It's rather difficult to underStand.
POLYNESIA: It's a Camel dialect.
DOLITTLE: With a rather thick accent...
POLYNESIA: A message! A message for you, Doctor!
(TOMMY reaches for a long scroll attached to the box. He hands it to
DOLITTLE.)

18
DOLITTLE: (opens the scroll)
It's from Straight Arrow! I should have guessed!
MADELINE: Who's he?
DOLITTLE: The greatest naturalist in the world. We've never actually met... but we
correspond by eagle mail.
(DOLITTLE and MADELINE open out the scroll to its full extent. It is
about ten feet long – a series of pictures.)
TOMMY: What are all those drawings?
(DOLITTLE interprets the images.)
DOLΙΤΤLΕ: It's picture writing. It's the only way we can Communicate. Let's see now.
It means that the Pushmi-Pullyu is a loan... for me... from Straight
Arrow... as a sign of friendship... to help me raise money... to pay for a
ship... to hunt for...
TOMMY, DOLITTLE, MADELINE, POLYNESIA
...The Great Pink Sea Snail!
MADELINE: That's quite marvelous, but tell me, Doctor, how do you make money with
a Pushmi-Pullyu?
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: I should have thought it was obvious, Madeline. Tommy, what would you
do if you had two heads?
TOMMY: Join a circus, Sir!
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: Precisely! Come on!

(#9 – BLOSSOM SEES DOUBLE ins)

(DOLITTLE leads the PUSHMI-PULLYU off. MADELINE and
TOMMY follow.)

SCENE 4
(BLOSSOM'S CIRCUS)
(BLOSSOM'S MAMMOTH CIRCUS' reads the faded sign over the
dilapidated little touring circus and fun-fair which is encamped on an
old English village green. There is no sign of activity, except for a
man standing outside a small open-door caravan. ALBERT
BLOSSOM is an old, pompous Yorkshireman, dilapidated to about

19
 the same degree as the circus he owns. BLOSSOM stares open-
mouthed at the PUSHMI-PULLYU as DOLITTLE enters.)

ΒLΟSSΟΜ: It's a trick!

DΟLΙΤΤΙLΕ: It's no trick!
BLOSSOM: But I've never seen anything like it!
DOLITTLE: Nor has anybody else! Good day!
(DOLITTLE starts to move away.)
BLOSSOM: No! Don't go! Wait! ‘Old on a minute!

(#10 – I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT (PART 1))

BLOSSOM: I mean... I mean... I've never seen anything like it!

I mean, I've seen the world, I've been a-round,

I could tell you stories that would quite astound you.
I'm not a fool, I went to school,
I've been to Liverpool and Istanbul! Istanbul,
I'm no fool,
and anyone will tell you that I'm sharper than a knife,
but I've never seen anything like it in my life.

DOLITTLE: It's a Pushmi-Pullyu!

BLOSSOM: Is it?
Well, I've never seen anything like it!
I've never seen anything like it!
I've never seen anything like it in my life.

MADELINE: It's the rarest animal on earth!

BLOSSOM: It certainly is! Hey! Come back! Just a minute! Listen!

I mean, I know the game, I've seen 'em all,

I could tell you stories that would quite enthrall you.

20
 I know me job, pleasin' the mob, I give 'em what they want for just two bob!
just two bob! Well, that's my job!
But this is so fantastic, I can't wait to tell the wife.

(GERTIE enters. She has a heavy Teutonic accent.)

BLOSSOM: Gertie!
GERTIE: Vot?
BLOSSOM:
You've never seen anything like it in your life!

BLOSSOM: Come an' look at this!

You've never seen anything like it!

I've never seen anything like it!
You've never seen anything like it in your life!

BLOSSOM: Berta!... Vladimir!... Mavis!... All of you! Look at this!

CIRCUS FOLK:
I thought I'd seen ev'ry wonder in the world.
BLOSSOM:
I've seen the Coliseum in Rome and the Acropolis!

CIRCUS FOLK:
I made the biggest blunder in the world,
+ BLOSSOM:
because I've never seen anything quite like this!
BERTA:
I mean, I'm down to earth,
VLADIMIR:
I'll tell you straight,
MAVIS:
I could tell you stories that would fascinate you.
BERTA:

21
 I know the trade,
VLADIMIR:
I know the tricks,
MAVIS:
We once bought an elephant for two pound six.
GERTIE:
Two pound six.
CIRCUS FOLK:
Taught it tricks.
BLOSSOM:
But for your Pushmi-Pullyu I'd pay three pounds,
CIRCUS FOLK: (gasp)
BLOSSOM: four pounds,
CIRCUS FOLK: (gasp)
BLOSSOM: five!
CIRCUS FOLK: (gasp)
BLOSSOM:
Cos I've never seen anything like it that's alive!!

BLOSSOM: An' I'll tell you what! – I'll even pay cash! Cash, d'you hear?
DOLITTLE: I'm afraid the Pushmi-Pullyu isn't for sale. You see, Mr. Blossom...

Pushmi-Pullyus are remarkable creatures,

of all God's animals, they're the cleverest.
They develop these remarkable features
running up and down Mount Everest.

CIRCUS FOLK: (gasp)

GERTIE: NO!
DOLITTLE:
Yes, It's absolutely true.
Running up and down Mount Everest.
DOLITTLE: You see...

22
 Running up and down a mountain
gives them very nimble feet.
CIRCUS FOLK:
Put 'em on the right rope,
they could walk a tight-rope!
That'd give the audience a rare old treat.
DOLITTLE:
And this extreme agility begets a rare ability,
shared only with the mountain goats of France.
The Pushmi-Pullyu loves to dance!

BLOSSOM: (gobsmacked)
Dance? You mean he-she-it-they dance?!

(The PUSHMI-PULLYU executes an intricate little dance. BLOSSOM

and the CIRCUS FOLK are completely blown away.)
BLOSSOM: (overwhelmed)
I'll give you anything you want!
DOLITTLE: The terms are quite simple!
BLOSSOM: (desperate)
Anything you Want!
DOLITTLE: They are only available for a four-week guest engagement.
BLOSSOM: Done!
DOLITTLE: Share all profits equally.
BLOSSOM: Er...
(GERTIE nudges him.)
Done!
DOLITTLE: Two performances a day.
GERTIE: Nein!! Four performances a day!
DOLITTLE: Wait.
(Both LLAMAS Shake their heads.)
We have a problem.

23
BLOSSOM: Well, what do they want?
DOLITTLE: Three shows a day.
(GERTIE whispers to BLOSSOM.)
BLOSSOM: And four on Saturday?
(Both HEADS nod.)
DOLITTLE: They agree!

(#11 — I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT (PART 2))

BLOSSOM: (delighted)
Done!
(BLOSSOM and DOLITTLE shake hands.)

BLOSSOM:
I mean, What can you say? What can you do?
I knew right away that folks'd pay to view it.
I said to Ted, "Ted, lad," I said,
"This thing's the biggest thing since homemade bread."
COMPANY:
Home-made bread!
S'What Ted said!!
BLOSSOM:
"To get that Pushmi-Pullyu I'm prepared to sell the wife!"
(GERTIE glares at him.)
BLOSSOM: Only jokin', Gertie!!
GERTIE: (clouts him)
Cos he's never seen anything like it in his life.
ALL:
No, we've never seen anything like it.
BLOSSOM:
Like it!
ALL:

24
 Never seen anything like it,
+BLOSSOM:
we've never seen anything like it
in all our life!
Our life!
Our life!
Our life!
(The CAST freezes as the PUSHMI-PULLYU steps forward.)
PUSHMI-PULLYU: (duet, in unison)
So we joined the circus, an' that's how Doctor Dolittle raised the
money to go on his voyage to find the Great Pink Sea Snail!
(#12 – THE CIRCUS PLAYOUT ins)

SCENE 5
(THE CIRCUS ENCAMPMENT)

DOLITTLE: Polynesia, how much money have we earned from the circus so far?
POLYNESIA: Thirty-eight pounds, two shillings and sixpence, Doctor.
DOLITTLE: Excellent. That's more than enough! Maddie, we'll set out in Search of the

Great Pink Sea Snail next Tuesday afternoon. But first I have to help out
Sophie the Seal. She keeps dropping things in her act. She's missing her
husband.
MADELINE: Where is her husband?
DOLITTLE: At the North Pole — that's the problem!
MADELINE: But the North Pole hasn't been discovered yet.
DOLITTLE: Not officially, no – and I never say anything about it because I promised
the polar bears I wouldn't! But that's beside the point. What we've got to
do is get Sophie back to her husband!
MADELINE: That's great, Doctor! —But how?
DOLITTLE: She'd have to escape!
MADELINE: Escape? A Seal? How?

(#13 – BEAUTIFUL THINGS ins)

25
 (From behind his caravan, DOLITTLE produces a wheelchair
containing SOPHIE the seal, heavily disguised as an old lady,
wrapped up in bonnet, a shawl and a blanket. MADELINE’s eyes
widen.)

SCENE 6
(PUDDLEBY COURTROOM)
(GENERAL BELLOWES, the magistrate, bangs his gavel and
addresses DOLITTLE in a crowded Courtroom.)

BELLOWES: John Dolittle, you stand accused of murdering an unknown woman by

throwing her off a cliff into the Bristol Channel. How plead you?
DOLITTLE: She wasn't a woman. She was a Seal!
BELLOWES: A Seal?
DOLITTLE: Yes, you know...
(DOLITTLE imitates a seal, clapping his hands together and barking.)
Her name is Sophie.
BELLOWES: (incredulously)
A Seal named Sophie... dressed in a bonnet and Shawl?
DOLITTLE: That's right, yes. I borrowed them from the bearded lady at the Circus.
The bonnet had these pretty pink ribbons all around the...
BELLOWES: Never mind about the pink ribbons. You are asking the court to believe
that you took a seal, named Sophie, all the way to Bristol, in a
wheelchair, and upon your arrival promptly threw her over a cliff into the
Sea... May one ask why?
DOLITTLE: Certainly. She wanted to go to the North Pole to see her husband.
(The CROWD roars with laughter.)
BELLOWES: Her husband?

26
DOLITTLE: Yes. His name is Nigel.
BELLOWES: And what on earth made you think this seal wanted to go to the
North
Pole?
DOLITTLE: She told me.
BELLOWES: She told you?
(totally baffled)
Are you in the habit of talking to animals?
DOLITTLE: Yes, I am. I do it all the time.
BELLOWES: And how, pray, did you acquire this somewhat “unique" talent?
DOLITTLE: Polynesia.
BELLOWES: You studied in Polynesia?
DOLITTLE: No, I Studied with Polynesia. She's my parrot.
BELLOWES: Dolittle, what kind of fool do you take me for?
DOLITTLE: I really don't know you well enough to judge, Sir. With all due respect,
Your Worship, I would appreciate an opportunity to prove my point by
talking to any animal you care to nominate...
BELLOWES: Very well. My dog Rufus is outside. Bailiff, bring in Rufus!
BAILIFF: Call Rufus Bellowes.
(BELLOWES' large dog RUFUS enters. DOLITTLE barks at him and
Shakes his left leg. RUFUS barks back. Dog dialogue ensues. The
BAILIFF, uncertain, approaches RUFUS with a bible.)
BAILIFF: Raise your right paw.
BELLOWES: Er... I think we can dispense with that formality.
(The BAILIFF returns to his place.)
Ask him what I had for dinner last night.
DOLITTLE: Very well.
(DOLITTLE barks at RUFUS and RUFUS barks back.)
Did he?... Did he?... Did he?
(bark)
Really? That much, eh?
BELLOWES: What did he say?

27
DOLITTLE: I’m grateful that Your Lordship acknowledges the fact that the dog was
talking!
(The CROWD laughs and applauds.)
For dinner last night, Your Lordship enjoyed the following: two helpings
of broiled trout, four helpings of roast pheasant, roast potatoes, brussel
sprouts and gravy…
(bark)
...followed by six large portions of blackberry pie with whipped Cream!
BELLOWES: It's not true! He's lying! I only had five helpings of blackberry pie!
DOLITTLE: Thank you, Rufus. That will be all.
BELLOWES: You may step down, Rufus.
(RUFUS looks at DOLITTLE, who barks a translation. RUFUS steps
down. The BAILIFF approaches the desk with a note. BELLOWES
reads it.)
Hmmm. It seems that your bearded lady friend has confirmed that she
did indeed lend you the pink bonnet and shawl in question. Further, the
police report no missing persons, but Mr. Blossom, the circus owner, does
report one missing seal named Sophie. You are therefore acquitted of the
charge of murder.
DOLITTLE: Thank you very much.
(The CROWD cheers. DOLITTLE goes to step down.)
BELLOWES: (ominously)
However...
(#14 – BELLOWES' JUDGMENT ins)

Your behavior in this courtroom here today has left little doubt in the minds
of my distinguished colleagues and myself that your lunatic activities with
animals infringe upon the public safety and are not to be tolerated.
Therefore, it is the judgment of this court that you be committed
indefinitely to an asylum for the insane.
("Boos” of protest from the CROWD.)
Have you anything further to say?
DOLITTLE: Yes. Yes... I have.

28
 (#15 – LIKE ANIMALS)
DOLITTLE:
I do not understand the human race,
That has so little love for creatures with a diff'rent face.
Treating animals like people is no madness or disgrace.
I do not understand the human race

(Traditionally, DOLITTLE's lyrics are mostly spoken to emphasize his

passion.)
I wonder, Why do we treat animals like animals?
Animals treat us so very well!
The devoted way they serve us, and protect us when we're nervous.
Oh, they really don't deserve us. It's clear as a bell!
Why can't we say "Noble as a frog?"
Why don't we say "Healthy as a hen?"
True, we say "Devoted as a dog," but what we
should say is "Chic as a giraffe!"
Or "Pretty as a pig!" Eh? That'll be a big day, won't it?
But when? But when? But when?
When will we stop treating them like animals?
Is the human race entirely mad?
Women see a baby goatskin, or a lambskin or a stoatskin, and to
them it's just a coat-skin. Oh, it's terribly sad!
When you dress in suede or leather,
or some fancy fur or feather,
do you stop and wonder whether for a fad
you have killed some beast or other?
That you're wearing someone's brother?
Or perhaps it's someone's mother in which you're clad?
Like animals!
Like animals!

Like animals!
It's true we do not live in a zoo.
But man is an animal too.
So why can't you, like me,

29
 like animals,
animals.

BELLOWES: Take him below.

(DOLITTLE is led from the courtroom. The CROWD disperses and
POLYNESIA corners MADELINE.)
POLYNESIA: Rescuing Doctor Dolittle is not a major problem, Madeline, if we do it my
way!
MADELINE: Now here's my plan...
POLYNESIA: Madeline...
MADELINE: The prison faces the road here. We tie the ropes from the bars of the cell
to Maurice, the circus elephant...
POLYNESIA: Madeline...
MADELINE: An' he pulls the whole wall out!
ΡΟLΥΝΕSΙΑ: Madeline, I think there might be a simpler way...
MADELINE: Then there's the second circus elephant, Lancelot — he's bigger than
Maurice – an’ all the Doctor has to do is step through the hole in the wall
onto his back! Then he just slides down the second elephant's trunk on
to Stella, the rhinoceros, an' away they go!
POLYNESIA: ...Something less conspicuous...
MADELINE: Now there's these six tigers, you see, Polly, Holly, Molly, Dolly, Siegfried
and...
POLYNESIA: Madeline, go down to the port and find a boat that's ready to sail, and
leave the rest to me!
(POLYNESIA flies away.)
MADELINE: Aye-aye, Sir!
(to herself)
You're a fine one, Madeline Mugg, takin' orders from a parrot!
POLYNESIA: I heard that!
(#16 – END OF SCENE 6 ins)

30
SCENE 7
(ABOARD “THE FLOUNDER” – AT SEA)
(MADELINE, TOMMY, POLYNESIA, CHEE-CHEE and JIP are
waiting together on the deck of the boat. CHEE-CHEE the chimp is at
the wheel.)

TOMMY: Where's the Doctor? We can't leave port without him!

MADELINE: When you're stealin' Someone's boat, Tom, you leave when you can, not
when you want to look – here he is now!
(As MADELINE speaks, DOLITTLE enters with TOGGLE. DOLITTLE
greets his friends.)
DOLITTLE: Morning, Maddie. Morning, Tom. Thank you for the ride, Toggle. You
have more than paid for your new spectacles. And Polynesia! Thank you
for bringing Chee-Chee along to steer. Chimpanzees have an excellent
sense of direction.
POLYNESIA: You're welcome, Doctor.
(Shouts)
Cast Off, Maddie.
DOLITTLE: And away we go. So whose boat have we — er – borrowed?
(TOMMY opens a leather-bound book.)
TOMMY: Here are the ship's papers. She's called “The Flounder” – and she belong
to a General Bellowes!
MADELINE: (crosses herself)
Oh, perfect! Now we'll all Swing, for Sure!
DOLITTLE: Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, Maddie. Since we've got his boat, Bellowes
has no means of pursuing us! What's our position, Jip?
(DOLITTLE barks at JIP. JIP barks back.)
DOLITTLE: Really?
MADELINE: What did he say?
DOLITTLE: He said there's a faint Smell of garlic coming from the Southeast.
MADELINE: And what does that mean?

31
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: It means we're about ten miles off the coast of France! Don't you just love
life on the rolling deep?
MADELINE: Not really, no. I think if the good Lord had intended us to go to Sea,
he'd've given us flippers!
(DOLITTLE sniffs the air appreciatively.)
DOLITTLE: Is somebody cooking something?
(EMMA enters, carrying a tray with a large pot and some plates.
DOLITTLE frowns disapprovingly.)
DOLITTLE: May one ask exactly what you are doing aboard “The Flounder,”
madam?
EMMA: (sweetly)
I was enjoying a quiet day on my uncle's boat — until it was attacked and
Stolen by pirates! How about you?
DOLITTLE: (ignores this)
I can't possibly have you on this voyage. We must turn around and go
straight back to Puddleby.
(EMMA holds the food directly under his nose.)
Er... immediately after lunch.
(EMMA places the tray on a table.)
EMMA: So where are we going?
ΤΟΜΜΥ: To hunt for the Great Pink Sea Snail, of course!
EMMA: And where might that be?
DOLITTLE: Nobody knows. He could be anywhere. So we play a little game I
invented. We take a map of the world, Stick a pin in it, and wherever it
lands, that's where we go!
EMMA: That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! I mean, you could end
up in all sorts of terrible places!
DOLITTLE: That's absolutely true! I remember going to the Sahara desert three times
in a row before I realized that Chee-Chee had stuck all the other pages of
the atlas together with jam! But don't worry. Wherever that Great Pink
Sea Snail is hiding – we'll find him!

(#17 – FABULOUS PLACES begins.)

32
EMMA:
How can you stand there and say what you're saying?
I just don't know!
I must admit the Sahara is one place I'm praying
we just won't go.

There are so many fabulous faraway places to see,

such as Mexico, Sweden, Hawaii, Japan and Capri.
There's so many exciting and wonderful places,
much more inviting than desert oases,
pleasant as home is, it isn't what Rome is,
so why stay there?

When there are so many fabulous faraway places to see?

Why should Spain and Tahiti and Rio just be only
names to you and me?

I feel certain there're people we'd be glad to know there,

so tell me why don't we get up and go there,
go to those fabulous places where we long to be.

Go to Bangkok and Hong Kong and Paris and Venice,

Tokyo and Cairo and Lisbon and London,
wonderful fabulous places
I'm longing to see!

DOLITTLE: London? Do you really think we're going to find the Great Pink Sea Snail
wandering up and down Piccadilly?
EMMA: Oh, you're so unromantic! All I'm saying is...
There are so many simply incredible places to see.
DOLITTLE: Not with Great Pink Sea Snails in them, there aren't!
MADELINE:
When I think of the warm Caribbean I see
a new world for you and me.

33
DOLITTLE: The Caribbean maybe...
POLYNESIA:
I'd give anything just to have one single day there,
MADELINE, POLYNESIA, EMMA:
and once we get there I know that we'll stay there.
Stay in those fabulous places where we long to be.

Such as Siam, Sienna, Vienna, Verona,

Java, Jamaica, Bombay, Barcelona.

Show me those fabulous places

I'm longing to see!

DOLITTLE: My dear Miss Fairfax, you seem to have entirely missed the point!

I'm aware there are fabulous places wherever we sail.

EMMA: Yes, but will we see ever see any of them?

DOLITTLE:
We will!
But the point of the journey is science and finding the snail!
An incomparable thrill!
TOMMY:
We'll interrogate beetles and bugs in Nigeria,
and if we have to, move on to Siberia,
eighty below but a place where we all ought to see
DOLITTLE:
Those are the fabulous places you'll visit with me.
EMMA:
Well Siberia is one place you'll never see me go,
DOLITTLE:
Stick in the pin, where the pin goes then we go.
MADELINE: Ireland,

34
POLYNESIA: Romania,
TOMMY: How 'bout Transylvania?
DOLITTLE:
We'll chase that sea snail from here to Tasmania.
(DOLITTLE hands EMMA a pin. DOLITTLE, TOMMY, and opens a
map of the world.)
ALL:
We'll see those fabulous places we're longing to see!

(EMMA closes her eyes and jabs the pin into the map. They all crane
forward to see where it has landed.)

TOMMY: Doesn't Count! You landed in the Sea!

DOLITTLE: No, she didn't! Look! There! It's a tiny island, the size of a pinprick!
EMMA: Well, that doesn't look very interesting!
TOMMY: What is it?
DOLITTLE: (reads)
“Sea Star Island... last reported position"... last reported position?
(DOLITTLE frowns.)
Oh, of course! It's that floating island! It moves!... All over the world! Like
a ship.
(to EMMA)
I think you've chosen rather well! I'm going to go and ask Polynesia if she
knows how to get there.
(DOLITTLE walks offstage.)

EMMA: (glumly)
Well, obviously we're never going to find that!... So couldn't we just
go to the Greek Islands instead?
(EMMA, MADELINE and TOMMY hum a bit of “Fabulous Places.”
After a brief moment, DOLITTLE comes back on, followed by
POLYNESIA.)
MADELINE: Doctor, you look confused.

35
DOLITTLE: I am. I just asked an Octopus the way to Sea Star Island.
TOMMY: And what did he say?
DOLITTLE: That's the problem. He didn't say anything. He just did this.
(DOLITTLE contorts his arms and legs so that he is pointing in about
six different directions at once tentacle-style.)
POLYNESIA: That means he saw Sea Star Island two thousand miles Southwest of
Spain eight months ago... heading due north at a Speed of two knots!
DOLITTLE: (impressed)
Good Lord! Is that what I just said?
POLYNESIA: Precisely.
DOLITTLE: (proudly)
That means I Speak Octopus! Polynesia, that makes five hundred!
POLYNESIA: Congratulations, Doctor!
TOMMY: We ought to have a party!
(DOLITTLE starts to draw vague diagrams in midair with his hands.)
DOLITTLE: (thoughtfully)
So if Sea Star Island is coming this way at say that speed, and
we're going that way at say this speed, I calculate we ought to
meet somewhere around about here.
(DOLITTLE points to a spot in space.)

( #18 – THE STORM. ins)

(Suddenly there is a blinding flash of lightning and a crack of thunder.
EMMA, MADELINE and TOMMY all look extremely nervous.)
EMMA: What Was that?
POLYNESIA: Crisis call from the Seagulls! There's a huge storm dead ahead!
DOLITTLE: Oh, that sounds very exciting!
MADELINE: Can't we drive around it, Doctor?
DOLITTLE: I don't think so, Madeline. The latest long-range fish forecast wasn't too
encouraging. And Jip said he could smell thunder.
EMMA: I didn't know thunder had a smell.
DOLITTLE: It does if you're a dog...
(A second blinding flash of lightning pierces the night sky, followed by

36
 an even bigger crack of thunder. A thunderbolt hits the mast.
Screams Chaos. Blackout.)

POLYNESIA: (in the dark)

Abandon Ship! Abandon Ship! Squa-a-awk!
DOLITTLE: I do hope General Bellowes has paid his boat insurance. Looks like he's
going to need it!

(We hear a crash in the darkness.)

(#19 – ARRIVAL OF THE POPSIPETELANS)

37
SCENE 8
(POPSIPETEL ISLAND – SEA STAR ISLAND)
(The shipwrecked mariners stagger ashore on the tropical paradise
of Sea Star Island. Jungle drums beat ominously nearby, and the
mellow sound of a huge hunting horn reverberates around the island
as a group of ferocious, warpainted WARRIORS enter. MADELINE,
EMMA and TOMMY look terrified, whereas DOLITTLE coolly raises
his high hat and bows graciously. The WARRIORS glare back at him
aggressively.)

DOLITTLE: Good afternoon.

(aside to EMMA)
I'll need to have a serious chat with whoever runs this place. I promised
young Tom's aunt faithfully he'd be home in time for School!
EMMA: (Sarcastically)
I'm sure if you tell him that we'll be out of here in no time!
DOLITTLE: (missing the sarcasm)
Yes, I think so, too! It all looks pretty civilized to me!
(The ranks of WARRIORS part to make way for a dominant White-
robed figure in an ornate headdress, who advances with majestic
bearing.)
DOLITTLE: This is obviously the gentleman to talk to.
(DOLITTLE addresses the leader, STRAIGHT ARROW in carefully
chosen Pigeon English.)
DOLITTLE: Good afternoon! Er – me English medicine man – search ocean for large
Snail – and – er – Small boy late for School – they all go home Puddleby
— yes?
(STRAIGHT ARROW smiles at him indulgently, then speaks with a
very cultured accent.)
STRAIGHT ARROW:
What a quaint accent! You wouldn't by any remote chance be John
Dolittle, would you?

DOLITTLE: (flabbergasted)
Straight Arrow? Is it possible?

38
STRAIGHT ARROW:
The Same.
(STRAIGHT ARROW Smiles and extends his hand. He and
DOLITTLE embrace and Shake hands.)
Welcome to Popsipetel! This is the capital of Sea Star Island!
DOLITTLE: Capital, indeed!
(to EMMA)
You See? I told you it was civilized!
STRAIGHT ARROW: (greeting them)
Please forgive that unfortunate welcome! Customs and Immigration
thought you were invading us! But happily, you're just in time for tea!
(Two WARRIORS carry in a giant tea tray.)
Earl Grey, Cucumber Sandwiches and Dundee cake. Tuck in, Tommy.
(TOMMY and MADELINE dive into the Sandwiches, EMMA pours
the tea, and DOLITTLE and STRAIGHT ARROW resume their
conversation.)
DOLITTE: (indicating the tea)
Seeing all this, I – er – take it you have – er – visited England.
STRAIGHT ARROW:
Ten years. Harrow and Oxford. That's how I got my nickname.
DOLITTLE: Nickname?
STRAIGHT ARROW:
Straight Arrow. When I was ten, my father wanted me to go straight to
Harrow, so that's what they called me. “Straight to Harrow.”
DOLITTLE: (amused)
Good Lord! I wish I'd known! We could have avoided all those years of
picture writing! This is a truly remarkable place!
STRAIGHT ARROW:
I pride myself that Sea Star Island is the world's most perfect animal
Sanctuary!

(#20 – SAVE THE ANIMALS)

STRAIGHT ARROW:
Every creature known to man, and others unknown or thought to be

39
 extinct, co-exist here in peace. It is my life's work.

We've got to save all the animals. Save the animals.

Ooh ah Ooh ah
That's what I was put on earth to do.
Ooh Hahh! Hahh!

To give them sanctuary and feed them, pamper, love and breed them,
Ooh ah Ooh ah
safe with me, they'll nev -er see a zoo.
Ooh Hahh! Hahh!

We must defend our death endangered dodos.

Ooh Ha-ah Ha-ah
Guard our gorillas, ganders, goats and geese.
Ooh Ha-ah Ha-ah

Protect our panthers, pumas, pigs and pelicans,

Ay Ay Ay Ha-ah Ha-ah
by using elephants as police.

We must have faith in the scheme of things, not just dream of things.
Ooh ah Ooh ah
This is why I see the matter thus
Ooh Hahh! Hahh!

We must brave all for the animals, save all the animals,
Animals, animals
that is why God gave us all the animals.
Some day they may save us!

WARRIORS:
Just think about the animals, and life without the animals,
imagine if giraffes and chimpanzees did not exist.
If all the Bengal tigers were stuffed in a museum,
each time we went to see 'em they'd be sorely missed.
ALL:

40
 So don't cross them off your list,
they're the friends we must assist.

We must have faith in the scheme of things, not just dream of things.
Ooh ah Ooh ah
This is why I see the matter thus
Ooh Hahh! Hahh!

We must brave all for the animals, save all the animals,
that is why God gave us all the animals.
Some day they may save us!

STRAIGHT ARROW:
They are beautiful and brave
+DOLITTLE:
they're the greatest gift God gave,
+ EMMA:
and the time has come to save
+TOMMY, MADELINE:
the animals.
ALL:
Yes, it's up to us to save
the animals.
Great and small!
Save them all!

STRAIGHT ARROW:
I'm So happy you managed to finance your voyage, John Dolittle.
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: Thanks entirely to you! Without the Pushmi-Pullyu, we could never have
done it! And until the shipwreck, I was pretty confident we were going to
find the Great Pink Sea Snail.
STRAIGHT ARROW:
I'm confident you will still find him.

(#21 – THE ENTRANCE OF JEAN–CLAUDE ins)

41
 (A monumental bellow like a ship's siren rocks the entire island.)

POLYNESIA: Swipe me! What was that?

MADELINE: Felt like an earthquake.
STRAIGHT ARROW:
It's not an earthquake.
ΤΟΜΜΥ: Sounded more like a huge ship to me!
DOLITTLE: I think I know what it was!
(Deep resonant French-horn-like sound is heard again.)
EMMA: Sounds like a huge French horn!
POLYNESIA: It's the Great Pink Sea Snail!
TOMMY: Here he comes!
(The SNAIL's enormous pink head appears behind them. DOLITTLE
duplicates the SNAIL's French horn sound as best he can. The
SNAIL's responding blast is like an arriving ocean liner, followed by a
deep-throated rumble.)
DOLITTLE: How charming! He says his name's Jean-Claude!
(DOLITTLE continues to talk with JEAN–CLAUDE in Escargot.)
EMMA: (impressed)
You spoke to him!
DOLITTLE: Yes. All Snail languages are basically of French origin. It's called
Escargot!
EMMA: He seems like a very nice snail!
DOLITTLE: Couldn't be nicer! He asked whether there's anything he can do for us...
So I said yes, he can take you all safely back to Puddleby!
EMMA: Isn't that a bit of an imposition? You hardly know him!
DOLITTLE: Not at all! He'd be delighted to have your company!
TOMMY: It'll be like traveling in a big pink bubble!
DOLITTLE: Exactly! The shell is completely watertight, and you'll be back in
Puddleby two weeks from Tuesday!
EMMA: But why leave so soon? We only just got here!
DOLITTLE: It could be fifty years before you get another chance to leave! Bit late for
Tommy to start school by then... he'll be sixty!

42
EMMA: (reluctantly)
When would we sail?
(DOLITTLE asks JEAN-CLAUDE: JEAN-CLAUDE responds.)
DOLITTLE: In about five minutes. Jean-Claude has to leave before the tide goes out.
He says you'll be perfectly comfortable. He's got four bedrooms.
(POLYNESIA, TOMMY and MADELINE go about collecting their
belongings, leaving EMMA and DOLITTLE alone.)
EMMA: You're not coming with us, are you?
DOLITTLE: Er... no. The truth is, Emma, I can’t. After all that's happened, I don't
think I'll ever be able to go back to Puddleby again! Your uncle and all
that... I simply can't go back... And on top of everything else, I sank his
boat!
EMMA: But you do want to come back some day, don't you?
DOLITTLE: Of course I do. A lot of animals depend on me.
EMMA: One or two people, too! What will you do here?
DOLITTLE: Oh, I'll plan a few more voyages and things. You know me.
EMMA: I'm beginning to. Where are you going next – the moon?
DOLITTLE: Probably, yes.
EMMA: You're not Serious?
DOLITTLE: Oh yes!
EMMA: How?

DOLITTLE: On the Great Lunar Moth. Magnificent creature. Flies backwards and
forwards between the earth and the moon. It lands on one, it gets
attracted by the light of the other, and flies back again. My idea is to build
some sort of saddle arrangement – very secure, so I don't fall off halfway
– and then—
EMMA: Can I come with you?
(#22 – THE GOODBYES ins)
(DOLITTLE pauses, then Shakes his head dubiously.)
DOLITTLE: Emma, I'm – er – afraid I'm... not very good with people. I'm – I'm all right
with animals, but people – I'm not very good with. I never have been. I
don't know why.
(mock cheerfully)

43
 Well, I — er – I think it's time you all went on board.
(EMMA reluctantly joins MADELINE, TOMMY, POLYNESIA, JIP and
CHEE-CHEE as they prepare to board JEAN–CLAUDE. They all look
very sad. STRAIGHT ARROW and DOLITTLE wave goodbye to
them.)
ΤΟΜΜΥ: Come home soon, Doctor Dolittle.
DOLITTLE: (visibly upset)
Oh, I will... yes... Soon. Go up to the house, Tommy, and give my love to
all the animals.
(Sounds of human and animal sniffles and sobs increase as the
scene progresses. TOMMY nods.)
Oh, and Polynesia, remind the Snail to surface twice a day, so that the
rest of you can stretch your legs and get Some Sea air.
POLYNESIA: (sniffles)
I'll remind him, Doctor.
MADELINE: If we ever drown in this thing, it'll be in a flood o’ tears!
DΟLΙΤΤLΕ: (himself deeply upset)
Come along now. We'll have none of that soppy stuff.
(The sobs and sniffles redouble at this news. JEAN-CLAUDE sounds
one long ship's siren-like departing noise. DOLITTLE does likewise.
They bow their heads in solemn unison, and JEAN-CLAUDE
prepares to move away. EMMA waves a final farewell to DOLITTLE.)
EMMA: I'll miss you, John Dolittle!
(JEAN-CLAUDE moves off, with one final mournful sounding of his
French horn. DOLITTLE is suddenly alone.)
CHEE-CHEE: We all sailed safely back home in two weeks, but Puddleby wasn't the
same without Doctor Dolittle. After a few weeks, we all finally decided to
do something about it.
(#23 – EXIT OF JEAN-CLAUDE ins)

44
SCENE 9
(PUDDLEBY VILLAGE SQUARE)
(There is pandemonium as BELLOWES faces an angry CROWD
carrying signs that read ‘BRING BACK DOLITTLE,' ‘BELLOWES IS
A BULLY,’ ‘FREEDOM OF ANIMALS SPEECH' and QUADRUPEDS
FOR DOCTOR D.')

BELLOWES: People of Puddleby, it is time to stop these ridiculous protests and

address ourselves to the more important issue of recapturing the escaped
lunatic, John Dolittle!! And someone get these wretched animals Out of
here!
(EMMA, calm and determined, stands at the head of an angry array
of ANIMALS – neighing, barking, mooing, bleating an Snorting,
voicing their protest and adding to the general uproar. EMMA’s voice
rings out.)
EMMA: No, General Bellowes! These wretched animals and the people of
Puddleby will no longer tolerate your outrageous political corruption and
abuse of office! It's time for you to resign, Uncle Ethelred!

45
 (Derisive shouts of "Ooh, Ethell” from the CROWD.)
BELLOWES: Emma, how dare you speak to me like that?
EMMA: And how dare you speak to the people of Puddleby like that! And the
animals of England are unanimous in their condemnation of your behavior
towards them and John Dolittle.

(#24 – THE VOICE OF PROTEST begins.)

EMMA: For once in your selfish and spoiled life, Ethelred Bellowes, stop bellowing

and listen!
We are the creatures of the world
And we will not tolerate a world
where evil men like you
do not care what you do.
You let God's creatures die,
while you just ride on by,

your noses in the air,

and never seem to care.
You never seem to care.
But we care!
We care!
We care!

And if there's one voice of protest

and then two voices protest
and then three voices protest
and then four
and then more voices protest,
more and more voices protest,
till there's one voice of protest that's a roar
EMMA:
We shall make you mend your ways
till the world sees better days,
and we don't have to protest any more.
COMPANY:

46
 No, we don't have to protest anymore!

EMMA: At midnight tonight, every animal in England is going on strike until John
Dolittle is safely returned to Puddleby! There will be no transportation, no
milk, no wool, no eggs, AND I'm happy to add...
(pointedly)
...no fox hunting!
(to the ANIMALS)
Now show them what Poly taught you!
(Led by EMMA, with POLYNESIA coaching them, the various
ANIMALS, one by one, make a supreme effort to communicate with
human beings in their own language.)
EMMA + COMPANY
And if there's one voice of protest
and then two voices protest
and then three voices protest
and then four
and then more voices protest,
more and more voices protest,
till there's one voice of protest that's a roar

We shall make you mend your ways

till the world sees better days,
and we don't have to protest any more.
No, we don't have to protest anymore!
Anymore!
Anymore!

(BELLOWES knows he is beaten. He steps forward to speak, the

very essence of compromise and reconciliation.)
BELLOWES: My fellow citizens, dear friends, on behalf of The Puddleby Hunt —
I
mean Town Council – I hereby declare my dear friend John Dolittle
totally innocent of whatever it was he was supposed to have done. Quite
clearly he was wrongly incarcerated, due to some bureaucratic bungling
of which of course I have no knowledge whatsoever.
(The CROWD erupts into delirious cheers. A sudden commotion
of squawking seagulls causes POLYNESIA to flap her wings and
squawk back excitedly.)

47
 (#25 – FINALE)
EMMA: Polynesia, what's happening?
POLYNESIA: Look! Look! It's the Doctor! He's home!
And he's flying!
(EVERYBODY rushes to look up into the sky. In the crowd is
ALBERT BLOSSOM.)

BLOSSOM:
What do I spy? High in the sky,
somethin' even rarer than a Pushmi-Pullyu.
POLYNESIA: It's a Giant Lunar Moth!
BLOSSOM:
That's what I see, flyin' at me,
a big bloomin' butterfly an' Doctor D.
My oh me, glory be!
Unless I'm much mistaken,
that's the greatest show on earth!
(The moth "lands" offstage.)
GERTIE:
Und to get it ve'll pay out ev'ry-thing he's worth!
BLOSSOM:
(shouts at DOLITTLE, who is entering the stage.)
I'll give you anything you want, Dolittle! — Anything you want!
(DOLITTLE arrives. EMMA runs forward to greet him. As he
embraces EMMA, he waves to the jubilant crowd.)
ALL:
This is the world of Doctor Dolittle
a rare world that people get to view little.
The answer is not too hard to see.
If he can bring so much harmony,
Well then why can't we
do little things to help him?
Why can't we?

48
(#26 – BOWS ins)

THE END

49