AREAS OF LIFE THAT GUARANTEES BALANCE CHRISTIAN GROWTH

There are five biblical areas that require steady growth which is modeled by Jesus Christ our
Lord and perfect pattern that guarantees productive and effective Christian Living in a bid for
optimal personal success and also to be able extend the frontiers of the kingdom of God on earth
as good ambassadors. These five areas include the following;

 HEALTH-physical fitness or capital

 FAITH- Spiritual Capital or development
 FAMILY-Quality Social Networks or capital
 FINANCE-Resources Management
 INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY/CAPITAL-Investment In The Truth

WHAT MAKES MARRIAGES TO FAIL?

1. Comparison

WHAT MAKES MARRIAGES WORK? ----------1

There are secrets hidden within the pages of scriptures that when correctly applied and
appropriated sets the stage for a glorious Christian marriage and home. These constitute what is I
call, The Covenant Demands towards Building a Godly Home. They include the following;

 Positive attitude to life; Sustaining a positive perspective or approach towards the

happenings of life with respect to marital relationships is all about how you perceive,
judge and interpret the actions or inactions of our spouse. It is worthy of note to say that
perception is stronger that reality! There are a lot of heavenly treasures hidden in that
man or woman that you are despising. The Love of God shed abroad in our hearts by the
holy ghost is what filters and cleanses our lens of seeing, hearing and perception so that
they are correctly aligned to be a blessing to our marriages instead of being a burden and
grievous yoke too heavy to carry. Sometimes, our perception is shaped by our culture and
as a result we are instructed in scriptures to be renewed in the spirit of our mind so that
by the help of the spirit we can evaluated to a pedestal where we can think the thoughts of
 God, speak the word of God boldly and DO/Manifest the fullness of the nature of God
which is LOVE; a life void of offence towards God and no ill thought towards man.
 EMPATHY: Another biblical keys towards toward building an impregnable Christian
family that sustains that capacity to withstand the boisterous Storms, Winds, Flood etc.
that comes to test the foundation of every home is showing empathy to each other as
husband and wife and even among your children. Empathy is all about putting yourself in
the shoes of your partner which is the only avenue through which you can truly be
touched with the feelings of their infirmities and when this medicine is administered
properly it fosters Understanding, appreciation and gratitude among couples which are
cornerstones upon which a strong Christian family is built upon. For the bible says that
“for we do not have a high priest that is not touched with the feelings of our infirmities
for he was at all times tempted yet without sin”. It was by trading with this virtue of
empathy which became the source of his unflinching joy even in the face of a painful
death that empowered Jesus to despise of the shame of the cross and become obedient to
death even the of the cross in our order to procure our salvation. Jesus as our perfect
example patterned the virtue of showing empathy for us to emulate and replicate in our
marital relationships.
 Wholly Commitment: unweaving commitment connotes dedication is another forceful
ingredient that is required if the one’s desire to build a formidable Christian family where
the husband loves and Cherish his wife like the way Christ loves the Church and gave
himself as a ransom for her and likewise the wives submits totally to the husband as unto
the Lord in all thing. This is where people are committed to see that the marriage works.
This is because nothing works until someone is at work. A committed Christian couple
forms a three cord that cannot be easily be broken irrespective of the prevailing
circumstances. This is because, people and this context married couples who are
committed to stay together, support each other and complement each other the prevailing
circumstances of life notwithstanding will always stay stronger, healthier and happier that
couples who do the opposite. Marital agreement does not imply that you and your will
always sustain the same agreement or perspective concerning certain things or issues and
so in dealing with sensitive cases like requires discernment, patience and
Communication.
  Positive Conflict Resolution Attitude

KEYS TO FIRST LOVE

1. Worship: is the art of falling in love again over and over again. Learn to adorn and praise
your spouse. Make him or her feel like a king or queen and that marriage will never die
or wither away. Worship is the charm that cements your marriage for life. Couples must
learn to minister to each other by speaking words that are seasoned with salt that have
what it takes to minister grace to your spouse.
2. Devotion (Time): starve love or marriage of spending time together, it dies off. Spend
time together in prayer, bible study etc. Begin everyday
3. Treasures: (Tithing): Put God First in your finances by observing the principle of tithing
and first fruit, giving etc.
4. Talent (your labor/work). Give God the beginning of your day or work. Use that day to
minister to God, people and engaging in activities that help extend the frontiers of the
kingdom.

SKILLS TO DEVELOP THAT GARANTEES MARITAL FULFILLMENT

1. Invest In Buying and Reading marriage Books from Credible sources with enviable
marital success
2. Develop Good Communication Skills
3. Develop Effective Financial Management Skills
4. Develop Good Home Management Skills
5. Develop Quality Parenting Skills
6. Develop Effective Time Management Skills
7. Good Conflict Resolution skills

5 QUESTIONS THAT WHEN PROPERLY ANSWERED REDUCES 90%-----3

OF MARITAL CHALLENGES:

1. What is it like Being Married to me? Will I be a blessing or a problem to my partner?

Key: The principle here is that, the key to a successful Christian marriage is not all about
finding the right person but BEING the right person!
HOW TO REKINDLE YOUR FIRST LOVE IN MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS….2

1. The Law of priority: The number one law that makes marriage work is what is called

the law of first priority. This law says that you should never put yourself, your

possession, finances, Children and any other relationship above your spouse. Many

waters cannot quench love for love is as strong as death. (Eph 5; Mathew). Learn to put

your spouse above;

 Yourself

 Children

 parents

 siblings

 Possession

 Finances

PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS OF THE LAW OF PRIORITY IN MARITAL

RELATIONSHIPS.

 SCHEDULE DATE NIGHT ONCE EVERY WEEK

Beloved just as we are commanded in scriptures to observe the Sabbath day for the

lord once every week, for us to keep the spark of our love towards our spouses fresh

all the time irrespective of the prevailing circumstances, we must of necessity learn
the practice of scheduling date night once very week. This ‘Marital Sabbath’ is to

give the couples the opportunity to date themselves afresh where they are required to

do their first works when they are dating. These may include going out for shopping,

taking a walk together where both get to communicate intimately, go watch a movie,

dinner nights and among others. These activities are targeted at rekindling the love

and sweet savor the couples shared together when they were still lovebirds like romen

and Juliet. Also during such beautiful moments couples should find out what they

both love doing and do those things and they love for each other will never die or

wither. The beauty of marriage will be revealed in the families of couples that

practice these kingdom secrets that makes for the making and building of Godly

homes.

 SCHEDULE DAILY OR WEEKLY DEVOTIONAL TIME TOGETHER AS

A FAMILY:

The family that fellowships in prayer, the study of the word, worship etc. together

stays afresh in love, abounds greatly in grace and grows together in the knowledge

and power of our lord Jesus Christ. This can be done on daily or weekly basis but as a

family never allow a week or day to go without both of you together with your

children observing family devotion. Learn to pray fervently for each other as couples

and as do so daily or week, the rivers of love, grace etc. will never dry up in your

family. Please note that you cannot change anybody, only God can and therefore

learn to pray and intercede for your spouse and children. This is because some of the

things you are complaining about concerning your spouse or children only God can
effect that change or transformation. Learn to affirm the person, downplay the

negatives and learn to correct each other in love.

 SCHEDULE ANNUAL HOLIDAYS:

Learn to practice scheduling annual holidays where you and spouse sometimes with

or without the children where you and your spouse gets exposed to new

environments. The family can go for a tour to a amazing recreational centers which

gives them the opportunity to relax, refresh and refuel their love bank again so as to

avoid frictions in the marriage. This causes the family to bond together in love,

understanding and strength! This is because once family scatters, every other thing

becomes fake.

NB: There are three reputable laws of successful marriage. They include the

following;

o Praying Together as a family-Devotion

o Walking Together-Agreement

o Playing Together-Sporting with your spouse ultimately stays together.

Amy marriage that practice the above 3 laws, will not have their marriage crushed.

Never!

 CARRY YOUR SPOUSE ALONG IN YOUR

ASSIGNMENT/PURPOSE/CAREER

As a family in order to sustain and maintain the freshness of your love which is as a

sweet smelling savor to your spouse and children learn this secret of making your
spouse and children a partner or co-laborers of your vision, assignment or career. This

fosters unity, guarantees the renewal of strength and ultimately pedestals the family at

an altitude for optimal productivity and efficiency in whatsoever their hands find to

do. (Psalms33:1-3). This is unity is the strength of alignment and alignment is mother

of greatness, prosperity and security in life and destiny. Husband, please let you wife

and children understand your calling or assignment so that they effectively give you

the maximum support you need for drive the mandate or vision.

 SCHEDULE COVENANT RENEWAL PERIOD ONCE EVERY YEAR

As a couple, for your love for each other to remain fresh, intoxicating and strong, you

must learn to renew your marriage vows to each other afresh. This is the period where

you and your spouse make refresh commitments to each other to remain loyal and

faithful, promising each other heaven and earth and you are even permitted to swear

in the name of the lord, that both of you will never betray the love, trust and

commitment once every year. This can be done once every 5 or 10 years. Learn to

renew your marriage vows to each other before a priest during these sacred moments.

Couples that keep to these practices will always be in love no matter the

circumstances surrounding their marriage.

NB: Please in doing/observing the above, learn the following;

o Learn to date each other like you use to do before you got married

o Learn to take walks together. Enjoy life together or exercise together

o Find activities that both of enjoy and do it together (sports, movies etc)
 o Find time to talk, gist and listen to each other. That is how you build

friendship together as couples.

o Learn to express your love for each other on a constant basis. Don’t just think

it or feel it, say it.

o Learn to give gifts to each other on constant basis

o Learn to pray for each other and study the word of God together

o Learn to be partner in ministry or purpose.

THE PRINCIPLES OF CHOOSING A LIFE PARTNER

The principles for choosing a life partner as Christian is not something you receive by

impartation but by teaching, learning and training etc. These principles are rooted in

scriptures and as such they contain the secrets to settle you martially as single man or

woman believing God for marital settlement. Truth is currency for procuring your

deliverance from every form of demonic harassment in a bid to secure your liberty

from all oppressions of the devil for life. Principles are a leveler and works for us to

those who care to know and apply them.

Isaiah 35:16

Why have we evaluated marriage to a certain level of warfare? Beloved never try to

complicate what God have simplified.

1. GOD DO NOT CHOOSE SPOUSES FOR PEOPLE….principle #1

Proverbs 18:22; Here is the secret. God does not choose spouse for people. What have hindered

people and a lot of believer is going around praying about spouse, disturbing God to choose a
spouse fir them, He has never done it and will not start with you. Painful truth right! But as

shocking as it may sound, it is the bitter truth. The principal reason why god does not choose

spouses or marriage partners for people is because it is not choosing the right partner that makes

marriage work but being the right partner that makes the marriage success. You can fail in

marriage marrying the right person and you can succeed in marriage marrying the wrong person!

The principle for choosing the right marriage partner is being the right partner. One the rights

and privileges we have in Christ Jesus is what we have from Him which is power to choose; our

Redemptive rights; one of the items in what we have from the Lord is our power to choose. The

most important relationship you are going to have earth is not going to be who you married but

who you worship which is your relationship with god and as critical as this relationship is, God

do not choose it for us but left us with the choice to make. The most important thing on earth is

your salvation yet God let it to our choice at the risk of many people going to hell. As deadly as

the forbidden fruit was to Adam and Eve, God left it to their choice. Stop thinking that God

chooses life partners for people, he does not! He only directs by giving the criterion for the

selection process. What he is to provide enough light, quickens your understanding, and exposes

you to relevant knowledge etc.to help you see and judge rightly in your choosing process. The

success of marriage is not hinged upon who you married but what you do in the marriage.

However there are scriptural limit to observe when choosing a life a partner in order to secure

your marital life and also your future. This limit is;

 Marrying outside the family of faith; being unequally yoked with unbelievers

in marriage unions

2. CONSIDER VIRTUE WHEN CHOOSING A MARITAL PARTNER-----P2

Building upon the first principle which says that God do not choose marital partners for His

children with keen obedient to the scriptural limit when choosing a life partner from prohibit

Christians from marrying unbelievers, what you ought to consider in your choice of a life partner

is not tribe, race, color etc. but virtue and moral values. Simply put, in order to fine-tune your

choice of a life partner even within the household of faith, elevate character above charisma,

beauty for the bible says that beauty is vain and charm is deceptive but a woman that fears the

Lord shall be praised. Proverbs 31:9-31. Young man do not fall prey to the deception of beauty,

eloquence or shape but trust God to find a prudent wife who is clothed with a meek and a quick

spirit which before God is a great price. The oil that guarantees lasting serenity in marital

relationships lies in the cultivation and nurturing of Godly virtues and values which includes;

Love, patience, forbearance, forgiveness, endurance, meekness, humility, kind etc.(1 Corinthians

13 Marry godly character and will succeed in your marriage and relationship with God. This is

because anyone who marries virtue has married gold-precious. Virtue is inward beauty. It is the

character of the person. If his or her character is close to that of the character of God then you

have gotten a virtuous man or woman which is Love after the order to 1 first Corinthians 13.

Stop finding perfection in your choose of a martial partner because it does not exist. It is a

mirage and pride when people are looking for perfect life partner. Beloved please humble

yourself, come down from your high horse and get married. Gen 2:15 (toughest case study)

3. UNDERSTAND THE PURPOSE OF MARTIAL RELATIONSHIP

Purpose is the mother of innovation and the necessity for the creation of any product.

A wise man of God once said that once the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse it

inevitable and so is it with when it comes to the choosing of life partner. One of the

principles to observe in order to safeguard your choice of who to marry is to invest

your time, resources and energy into acquiring of relevant knowledge first from the

teachings of scriptures (the Bible) and also other Christian literatures or books from

credible sources so that you can get a clear of understanding of God’s purpose for

instituting the marriage covenant so as to prepare them thoroughly so that they can

maximize their full potentials as God have ordained it to be.