Chapter 9 I Essa11 Organization 153

The The concluding paragraph is the last paragraph of an essay. It has three purposes:
Concluding 1. It signals the end of the essay.
Paragraph 2. It reminds the reader of your main points.
3. It leaves the reader with your final thoughts on the topic.

Notice how the writer accomplishes these three purposes tn the following
concluding paragraph.
In short, Mr. Smith had several qualities of a great teacher. He was well
informed about his subject, and his enthusiasm for it rubbed off on1 his
students. Furthermore, his lectures were well organized, and he returned
papers and tests promptly. His classes were always interesting, and he told
funny stories to keep even the sleepiest student awake and engaged in
learning. Mr. Smith taught more than just history; he also taught us to love
learning.

• The transition phrase In short signals the end of the essay.

• It summarizes the qualities of Mr. Smith: he was well informed, enthusiastic,
organized, and interesting.
• It gives a final comment: Mr. Smith inspired students to love learning.
The first part of the concluding paragraph summarizes the main points or repeats
the thesis statement in different words. It may require one or more than one sentence.
In the second part, you may add a final comment. This is the place to express
your opinion, make a judgment, or give a recommendation. However, do not add
any new ideas in the concluding paragraph . Just comment on what you have
already discussed.

Study the following abbreviated essay outlines. Only the introductory paragraph and
PRACTICE 3
topic sentences for body paragraphs are given. Then circle the number of the most
Concluding
appropriate concluding paragraph.
Paragraphs

Advertising

Unless you live on an uninhabited island in the middle of a big ocean,

you cannot escape advertising. People in the modern world are continually
exposed to ads and commercials on the radio, on television, on billboards, in
their mailboxes, and on their computers. However, advertising is not a modern
phenomenon. Advertising has been around for a long time, as a review of its
history shows.
(continued on next page)
,

1 rubbed off on: transferred itself to (informal)

154 Part 11 I The Essay

A. As early as 3000 B.c., merchants carved signs in wood, clay, and stone to
put above their shops.

B. In ancient Egypt, merchants hired people called criers to walk through the
streets announcing the arrival of ships and their cargo.

C. In medieval Europe, shop owners hired criers to direct customers to their

shops.

D. The invention of the printing press was the start of the advertising industry
as we know it today.

Possible concluding paragraphs

(1) As we have seen, advertising has been a part of merchandising for at
least 5,000 years. From the carved signs above doorways in ancient Babylonia
to the annoying pop-ups on modern computer screens, advertising has been
a part of daily life. Its form may change, but advertising will undoubtedly be with
us for a long time to come.

(2) It is clear that advertising is useful for both buyers and sellers. It helps
sellers by informing the public about their goods and services. It helps buyers by
allowing them to comparison shop. Its form may change, but advertising will
undoubtedly be with us for a long time to come.

2. Compulsory1 Attendance in College

On my first day of class in an American university, I discovered that there are

many differences between universities in the United States and in my country.
One difference hit me immediately when the professor walked into the classroom
dressed in casual pants and a sports shirt. Then he sat down, and I received a
second shock. He sat down on the desk, not behind the desk. The biggest shock
happened when he passed out a piece of paper listing the requirements of the
class. I learned that I was not allowed to miss any classes! In my country,
professors do not know or care if students attend lectures, but in the United
States, professors actually call the roll2 at the beginning of each class meeting.
In my opinion, compulsory attendance in college is completely inappropriate for
two reasons.

A. College students are adults, not elementary school children.

B. Students often have other obligations such as jobs and family.

1compulsory: required
2call
the roll: say the names of students to find out who is present or absent
 Chapter 9 I Essa1 1 Organization 155

Possible concluding paragraphs

(1) To summarize, attendance in college classes should be optional. Students

may already know the material that the professor will cover. Sometimes the
professor lectures on material that is in the textbook, so students can read it on
their own time. Therefore, in my opinion, compulsory attendance in college
classes should be abolished.

(2) To summarize, college students are mature enough to take charge of their
own learning. Furthermore, they may have family or work problems once in a
while that cause them to miss a class. They should not be penalized for this.
Therefore, in my opinion, compulsory attendance in college classes should
be abolished.

Goals

Everyone needs goals. Having goals makes you more successful because
they keep your mind on 'what is really important to you. However, goals can
change at different times in your life. Your goals when you are ten are very
different from your goals at fifteen or twenty. My major goals this semester are
to get a part-time job and to master the use of the English language.

A. My first goal is to get a part-time job in an area related to my field of study.

B. I also plan to improve my ability to speak, write, read, and understand

English.

Possible concluding paragraphs

(1) In conclusion, it is important to have goals. When you have clear goals, it
is easier to stay focused and not let small things sidetrack you. I hope I succeed
in reaching my goals this semester.

(2) In conclusion, finding a job and using English well are important to me at
this stage of my life. I am working hard to succeed at both.

(3) In conclusion, I have set important goals for myself this semester. If I do
not reach my goals, I will be unhappy. Next semester, I will have new goals.

4. Changes in the Workplace

Female airline pilots? Male nurses? When my parents were young, such job
descriptions were not possible. In the past thirty-five years, however, society
has become more accepting. Although it is still somewhat unusual, men now
work in traditionally female occupations. In particular, more and more men are
becoming nurses, secretaries, and elementary school teachers.
 Chapter 10 I Opinion Essa11s 171

Questions on the M odel

1. In the introduction, which sentence expresses the writer's opinion about the
right to die? Double-underline it. How many body paragraphs can the
reader expect?
2. How many body paragraphs are there? Underline the topic sentences, and
circle the transition signals that introduce each paragraph.
3. Which body paragraph has a concluding sentence?
4. Doe � the concluding paragraph summarize the reasons, or does it rep� the
thests statement?

The Remember that an introductory paragraph has two parts: ( I ) several general
lntroductory statements and (2) one thesis statement. The first part of the introductory paragraph
Paragraph of an opinion essay often begins by explaining an issue.
GENERAL STATEMENTS In some cities in the United States, teenage gangs create problems. The
problems range from noisy but harmless drag races3 to fatal drive-by
shootings.4 Some cities are trying to stop these activities by keeping young
people indoors and off the streets at night. These cities have passed curfew
laws that require people under the age of eighteen to be indoors between the
hours of 1 0:00 or 11 :00 P.M. and 6:00A.M.

The thesis statement then states the writer's opinion on the issue. It often mentions
the opposing view first.
THESIS STATEMENT Police departments say that curfew laws to control teenage gangs are
necessary, but I feel that such laws are unfair, unconstitutional, and
counterproductive.5

Notice that the opposing view is connected to the writer's opinion with a contrast
signal such as however, but, and although . (Review contrast signals on pages 1 14 and
1 1 8-1 20.)

A. Turn back to the model essay "The Right to Die" on pages 1 69- 170, and find
PRACT ICE 1
the thesis statement. What contrast signal connects the opposing opinions?
Thesis Statements
for Opinion
Essays B. What contrast signal connects the opposing opinions in the above example
about curfew laws?

C. Work alone, with a classmate, or in a small group. Complete each thesis

statement by adding the opposite opinion. Notice that statements 3 and 6
require a separate sentence.
Note: You may want to use one of these topics for your own essay at the end
of this chapter.

3drag races: informal automobile races

4drive-by shootings: gun shootings from a moving vehicle
5counterproductive: leading to a result that is the opposite of the result desired or intended
172 Part 11 I The Essa11

l . Although the law prohibits separate classes for boys and girls in public
schools, I think and learn better in

in the middle

2. Many people believe that women should not serve in the military, but

3. Society often ignores steroid use by well-known professional athletes

because of the athletes' popularity. However,

4. Although professional athletes undoubtedly feel that they deserve their

million-dollar salaries, I feel

5. Some people are in favor of drug testing for high school athletes, but

6. Some people feel that the United States needs more laws to control the sale
and ownership of guns. However,

'fr\1 1t Out! Choose one of the suggested topics and write an introduct01y paragraph for an opinion
essay about it. Note: You may want to use one of these topics for your own essay at the
end of this chapter.

Step 1 Discuss the topic with a classmate, a small group, or the entire class until
you understand the problem or issue. Discuss both sides of the issue.

Step 2 Decide whether you arefor or against the issue.

Step 3 Then write an explanation of the issue as the fi rst part of your
introductory paragraph.

Step 4 Write a thesis statement as the last sentence of your introductory

paragraph. Be sure to mention the opposing view.
174 Part 11 I The Essay

The In the concluding paragraph, you may ( 1 ) restate your thesis in different words or
Concluding (2) summarize your reasons. in your final comment, you may call for action, as in the
Paragraph following example. Your final comment should be powerful-one that your readers
will remember.
To summarize, cloning humans is clearly dangerous and unethical. It is one
thing to clone a mouse, sheep, or pig but quite another thing to duplicate a
human being. Even though scientists claim that their only purpose is to help
humanity, ethical people must demand an end to such experiments now.

Tr1f 1t Out! Write a concluding paragraph for one of the items from Practice 2 on page 1 73.

Developing Supporting Details

In Chapter 3, you learned how to use examples to suppmt your ideas. In this chapter,
you will learn how to use three other kinds of suppmting details: quotations, statistics,
and summaries.
College instructors often assign research papers in their classes, for which you
use information from outside sources (books, magazines, newspaper articles, or the
Intemet). There are special procedures and rules for using information from outside
sources. For example, in a formal research paper, you must document the source ofeach
piece of information that you use. This means that you must tell exactly where you
got the information- who originally wrote it or said it and when and where it was
written or spoken. You will Jearn how to do this later on in your college program .
However, be aware that documenting outside sources is important and necessary for
college assignments.
For purposes of this class, you may get information informally-by taking a class
survey to get statistics or by interviewing classmates to get quotations, for example.

Quotations are often used in academic writing as supporting sentences. Notice how
quotations supp01t the topic sentence in the following paragraphs.
Telecommuting' is a popular new choice for many office workers. They
feel it offers advantages to both employees and employers. My older sister,
who has telecommuted for the past year, told me, "I am much more
productive when I work at home because there are no interruptions. I also
don't have to spend two or three hours traveling to and from the office every
day. I save myself time, and I save my company money by working at home."

On the other hand, sometimes telecommuters feel isolated. "I feel out of
touch with2 what is really happening in my company, and I miss the daily
contact with my co-workers," my sister added.

lecommuting: working at home. usually by using a computer to produce work and to communicate
2out of touch with: not in communication with
 Chapter 10 I Opinion Essavs 175

Rules for Using and Punctuating Quotations

Rule Example

1. Use a "reporting phrase" such as she says, she "I like you," he said.
said, he stated, he added, he continued, or they He said, "I like you."
reported. The reporting phrase may come before, "I like you," he said, "but I don't like your dog.
after, or in the middle of the quotation, and the verb He's a pit bull."
may be in any appropriate tense. Separate
a quotation from a reporting phrase with
commas.

Another useful reporting phrase is according to According to veterinarian Dr. James Brown, "Pit bulls
followed by the name of the source. If you copy are unpredictable and dangerous dogs."
words exactly, use quotation marks.

2. Begin each q uoted sentence with a capital letter. . "Your dog is a pit bull," he continued, "and I am afraid
When a quoted sentence is separated into two parts, of him."
begin the second part wilh a small letter

3. Commas, periods, question marks, and exclamation She said, "Good-bye."

points go inside the second quotation mark of "Don't call me again," she continued.
a pair. "W hy not?" he asked.
She answered, "I don't go out with people who
don't like my dog!"

4 . Give the quoted person's title or occupation My older sister, financial manager for a large
if he or she is not well known. The easiest way insurance company, claims, "I save myself time, and
to do this is to put the in formation in an appositive. I save my company money by telecommuting."
(Review appositives on pages 1 28-1 3 1
Classmate Jessica W ang said, "My children don't
in Chapter 8.)
realize that the violence they see on television is fiction.
They think it is real."

Practice 4

A.Paraphrase the following sentences.

1.The student requested that the professor excuses her absence, but the professor refused.
2.There will be a music concert next to Vienna coffee shop. Would you like to go?
3.International Center is hosting English Conversation classes. They help non-native
speakers of English practice their English speaking skills.
4.The office of International Students and Scholars at Purdue University is located in
Schleman Hall.
5.The car that was pulled over by the police officer yesterday just had an accident. That
driver is not careful.
B.Summarize the following text from the Voice of America website:

1.Mr. Leibovitz and writer Matthew Miller joined forces to tell the story of the students
in their book, “Fortunate Sons.” The book says China sent one hundred twenty boys to
America to learn about developments that could help modernize their country.”
(American Documents the Country’s First Exchange Students from China, Voice of
America, learningenglish.voanews.com)
2.“Illiteracy is a problem in many of the world’s poorest countries. Even in wealthier
nations like the United States, many children struggle with reading and writing. But in 19
cities across the country [United States], the volunteers of Experience Corps are helping
youngsters learn to read. The volunteers, all over 50, work with students in low-income
areas.” (Older Volunteers Help Children Learn to Read, Voice of America, voanews.com)
3.“Women entrepreneurs in the developing world often face challenges that limit their
chances for success and growth. They often have less access to education than men and
have difficulty getting financing on their own. But with an understanding of the essential
aspects of doing business – such as planning, financing, networking and marketing – they
can overcome those obstacles. That's where the 10,000 Women Initiative comes in. As
Faiza Elmasry tells us, it's an investment in education with dividends that benefit the
businesswomen, their local communities and their national economies.” (Goldman Sachs
invests in Educating Women in Business, Voice of America, voanews.com)