PRE-B WRITING - LESSON 6

LESSON 6
EDITING, REVIEW & FULL-ESSAY PRACTICE

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SECTION A. EDITING

Follow your teacher's instructions to improve your essay from lesson 5. While you are editing your essay,
take notes of your frequent errors below so that you can overcome your own weaknesses.

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SECTION B. REVIEW

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs.
Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals
and society.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Put the following sentences in the correct order to form a cohesive essay for the above question.

1. Therefore, the argument is that universities want to ensure that their students are going to find the
best jobs to ensure that this financial investment is worthwhile.

2. To conclude, although I acknowledge that many people feel that the main aim of universities is to help
graduates find high-level careers, I believe that there are more significant advantages brought by
obtaining university qualifications.

3. The world is a very competitive place, and as a result, all countries need educated citizens in order to
compete and prosper.

4. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of a university degree is to improve job
prospects, I think the students, and the world in general, benefit in much broader ways.

5. In addition, society will gain from the contribution that graduates make to the economy.

6. In contrast, I would argue that there are other benefits that need to be considered.

7. The primary function of a further education is a topic of debate.

8. Therefore, their maturity and confidence will grow, enabling them to live more fulfilling lives.

9. It is also believed that undergraduates pay high tuition fees in order to study.

10. This is primarily because the independence of living away from home helps students develop their
social skills and improve as people.

11. There is a common belief that the main aim of going to university is to secure a high position at work.

12. To begin, some people believe that attending university is one of the most effective ways to do this, as
it helps increase graduates' attractiveness to potential employers.

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13. If some applicants for a job have relevant degrees, but others do not, those with higher qualifications
will be shortlisted for the position.

14. Many young adults, for instance, will have to leave their families, live in halls of residence and meet
new friends.

ANSWER: .............................................................................................................................................

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SECTION C. READING & DISCUSSION

A STUDY CLAIMS THAT PEOPLE WHO OVERUSE SOCIAL MEDIA

OFTEN FEEL ISOLATED.

People might think that social media allows them to be connected to their loved ones,
but a new study has discovered that it is actually making users feel lonelier.
The report suggests that if a person spends over two hours a day on social networks, their
chances of feeling socially isolated are twice as high.

The study was carried out by the University of Pittsburgh and saw researchers
questioning 1,787 adults aged between 19 and 32 about their use of the 11 most popular
social media sites - Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Google Plus, Instagram, Snapchat,
Reddit, Tumblr, Pinterest, Vine and LinkedIn - at the time the research was conducted
in 2014.

They found that people who visit social networks over 58 times a week are three times
more likely to feel lonely than those who use the sites fewer than nine times.

It has long been suggested that social media is contributing to the rise in FOMO (fear of
missing out), but this study suggests the problem may be more serious.
However, it is not clear whether social media causes loneliness, or whether it is that
already lonely people are more likely to spend longer on social networks.

“It is currently unknown which came first - the social media use or the perceived social
isolation,” co-author Elizabeth Miller, professor of pediatrics at the University of
Pittsburgh, said.

“It is possible that young adults who initially felt socially isolated turned to social media.
Or it could be that their increased use of social media somehow led to feeling isolated
from the real world.”

The scientists considered differences between age groups and maintained that there is a
link between social media usage and loneliness.

However, as well as FOMO from events one did not attend, the study suggests that the
longer someone spends on social media, the less time they have for real-life social
interactions.

As mental health issues amongst students and young adults are on the rise, the role of
social media is being increasingly scrutinized.

“People are inherently social creatures, but modern life tends to divide society instead of
bringing it together,” Professor Brian Primack, from the University of Pittsburgh School
of Medicine, said. “While it may seem that social media presents opportunities to fill that
social void, I think this study suggests that it may not be the solution people were hoping
for.”

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SECTION D. FULL-ESSAY PRACTICE

An increasing number of people are now using the Internet to meet new people and
socialize. Some people think this has brought people closer together, while others think
people are becoming more isolated.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

1. Internet & Social Media Vocabulary:

Match the words and phrases below with their definitions.
1. socialize (v.) A. alone and separated from other people
2. social interaction B. keep relationships in a good condition
3. build relationships C. the exchange between individuals in society
4. maintain relationships D. reserved, withdrawn, not paying attention
5. isolated (adj.) E. a relationship, a friendship
6. distant (adj.) F. associate sociably with other people
7. bond (n.) G. create new relationships
8. detrimental (adj.) H. use too much or too often
9. overuse (v., n.) I. damaging, harmful

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2. Essay Practice:

PLANNING & BRAINSTORMING

Topic:

View 1:

View 2:

Body Paragraph 1 (Disagree):

Supporting idea 1: Developing detail 1:

Developing detail 2:

Supporting idea 2: Developing detail 1:

Developing detail 2:

Body Paragraph 2 (Agree):

Supporting idea 1: Developing detail 1:

Developing detail 2:

Supporting idea 2: Developing detail 1:

Developing detail 2:

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Student's Writing

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