I

nser
t1
Groceryshoppi
ngishonestl
yt heworstt
hing
I'
veeverhadtodo.It'
sthesameaswashi ng
dishesforme.Myaunthasal wayssaidthat
shedoesn'tunder
standthekindofchil
dIam.I
meanIal wayshavetowhingeandgrumbl e
everyt
imeIhavetocompl et
emychor esbutI
knowI '
m aneatf r
eakatt hesamet ime.
Accor dingt ome, theset ypeoft hingsshoul d
j
ustf indawayt odot hemsel ves.Any way ,today
i
saSat ur daymeani ngi t
'slaundr yday .SoIput
thelaundr yint hemachi neandpr epar emy self
totakeashowerbecauseI 'm startingt ofeel
i
rrit
atedbyt hishoneymaskonmyf ace.It
's
37°Ci nPol okwanesoy oucani magi nehowI
feel
.Af terIt akemyshower ,Iputonmyor ange
andshor tjumpsui twithmygol dKel sosandl es.
Idon'tfeel l
ikeawi gtodaysoIoptf oralight
brownst rawhatwi t
hnomake- up.I '
m notabi g
fanofmake- upany way.Ir equestedanuber
beforeIl otionedsoi tshoul dbeher eany
momentf rom now, whichgi vesmesomet ime
tolazyandscr ol
laroundonI nstagr am.Thecar
arri
veswhenIwasst artingtogetcomf or
table,
maki ngmequest i
oni fIreallyneedt hese
grocer i
esany more.Ihur rydownst ai r
safterI'm
donebei ngsi l
l
yandgetdr i
vent ot hemal l.
Iwasl isteningt osomecl assicRnBwhena
random t houghtt iptoedi ntomyday dreamst o
remi ndmehowunsaf er equest edcar sar e.I
remov edmyear phonessoIcan' see'qui te
clearlywher ewewer eheadedandI 'm pr etty
sur eI'm nott heoneper sonwhodoest his.I
event aket hem outorl owert hev olumeof
speaker sshoul dIneedt osmel lsomet hing.It
mi ghtsoundcr azybutI 'v eact uall
yr ead
somewher et hatt he5sensesact uallywor k
toget herasat eam.Bel iev eornot .Any way ,we
event uallygett oSav annahmal landIdowhat
needst obedone.I '
m nott heki ndt ozi gzagand
drawcr ossbowswi thmymov ement sina
grocer yst ore.Iwasi nthedai ryai sl
ewheni thit
met hatmyst eam i roni ssl owi nghandi ngi nit
's
resignat i
onl etter .Afterget tingt hecheddar
cheese, Imadewayt otheai slewi thappl iances.
Igott her eandscout edar oundandev ent uall
y
foundt heoneIl i
ked.Onl y,myhei ghtkeptdoi ng
mei njustice.Ilookedar oundl ooki ngfor
anybodywhowor ksint heshopt ohel pmeout .
Afteragoodandr i
pe3mi nut es, Iturnedmy
headandwasmetbyaboxofi ronandapant y-
droppingsmi l
e.ButI '
m notf orr elati
onships.
I'
venev erbeen.SoIqui ckl
ygett hethoughtout
ofmyhead.Icomposemy selfandIf inall
y(af
ter
about9decades)sayt hanky ou.Hewi densthe
smi l
eandsay s" You'rewel come" .AndboydoI
notmel t?Iqui cklytaket heironandt urnaway .
Hehast enstocomest andi nf rontofmeand
putshi shandsonmyshoul der s.
Hi
m:Hawu,
Kanj
alonj
esekuphel
i
le?
Ibl
ush
Me:
Youcangochar
m somebodyel
secause
I
'mreal
l
yinar
ush
Hi
m:Nkosazanamydayi sreal
lygoi
ngwel
l
.In
f
acti
tjustgotbet
ter
.You'
retoopret
tyt
obea
demonsopl
ease.
Me:
Wel
lthi
sisnotmyr
eal
faceoh!
!
Thatjustinvoluntar
il
ycameoutandIact ual
ly
actedlikethatEmanuellakid.IknowI '
m nota
funnyper soningeneralsoIdidnotexpecthim
tolaught hatmuchsoIf iguredhehasseent he
videosomewher e.Whenhef i
nall
ypull
ed
himselftogetherhelookedatmewi thhispure
andbeami ngeyes.He'sbeautiful
.Far
aGuar d
wasr eall
yjustshowingof fhere.
Him: Okay.
..I
'
dreall
yliketo'meet'
youproperl
y.
Canwest artwit
hy ournameandpl ease.
..f
or
theloveofthecountryofKZNcanwenotar gue
overthatcauseIcanf eel
itcoming?

Me:
Arey
ouapr
ophet
?
Hi
m:Par
tti
me.
Il
aughedandsawt
hathe'
snotaboutt
ogi
veup
soonsoIgav
ein.
Me: Welly
ou'r
eluckyyoufoundmeinagood
moodt odaybutfi
rst
,what'
saZuluguyl
ikeyou
doingi
nLi mpopothere'
snotmanyofy'
all
fl
oati
ngaround
Hi
m:Y'
al
l?
Herai
sedhiseyebr
owandlookeddownonme,
t
ryi
ngtoint
imidat
emeI'
m guessi
ng.
Me:
Argy
ouknowwhatImean.
Him:Ngiy
adlal
a.Wel
lI'
m her
eonbusi
nessand
I
'm act
ual
ly10minut
eslatet
oameeti
ng.
Me:
Andy
ou'
rest
il
lher
ebekhozzzz?
Hi
m:Somet
hingmor
eimpor
tantcameup.
Heflasheshisbeauti
ful
smil
eandtakesouthi
s
phone,unlocksi
t,t
akesmyhandandputsiti
nit.
Il
ookati tandbackathim.
Me:You'
ret
ootrust
ing.Whati
fI'
m oneoft
hese
ny
aopepeoplewhorippeopl
eoff?
Him:Hai
boangizangngalbonaiphar
ael
ifana
nawemina.Anyway,y
oudon'tlookli
key
ou'd
outr
unmesoi t
'schi
ll
ed.
(
I'
venev
erseenany
aopesmokert
hatl
ooksl
i
ke
y
ou)
Me:
Wanny
atsashem.(
Youunder
minemehey
).
IsaythisasIdial
mynumber sandsavethem
as"Boikokobet
so"toensur
ethathedoesn'
t
misspelli
t.Hel
ooksatmeasIt ype.
Me:
Your
s?
Hi
m:What
?Di
git
s?
Ir
oll
myey
esandhel
aughs
Hi
m:Cal
lmeYi
se.Muzi
kay
ise.
Me:
Ili
keMuzi
best
.
Igi
vethephonebacktohi
m andpushmyt r
oll
y
for
ward.Heholdsmyarm wit
hhisl
efthand
anddial
sthenumberIj
ustgavet
ohim.My
phoneri
ngsfr
om mysidebagandwebot hhear
"Babyshark"andt henIremembermynephew
hadmyphonet hispastweekend.Ifhe'
snot
changingmywal lpapers,ordepl
eti
ngmydat a
onPlay st
orethenhe'ssetti
ngnewr i
ngtones.
Muzi t
riestoholdinalaughterwhil
efacingthe
fl
oorandt urnstomewi t
hal ookt
hatsay s
"Expl
ain?"
Me:
Don'
tev
en.
It
akeoutmyphonef rom mybagandIexitt
hat
ai
slepushi
ngthetrol
l
eywithonehand,l
eavi
ng
hi
mt her
ewiththatsi
ll
ysmugonhisface!

Excuseanyer
ror
s.
Abr
ief
.

Bef
orewegetcar r
iedaway ,
all
owmet o
i
ntr
oducemy sel
f.Mynamei sBoikokobet
so
Motl
habane.Wear eori
ginal
lyfr
om t he
Nor thernCapebutIgr ewup( mostly)in
Limpopobecausemymom gotmar ri
edt oher
nowl atePedi man.Thi smeansIspeakbot h
pedi andt swana.My" mom"i snotmybi ological
mot her .Mymot herdi edi n1996whi legiving
birt
ht ome.Mymom i sact uall
y,bytraditi
on
andt echnical i
ty,myaunt .She'smymom' s
i
dent ical twinsi ster.I'
vel ongconcl udedt hat
thisiswher etheeaseofcomf ortandf r
iendshi p
stemsf rom soI 'm notr eallyanor phan,ify ou
l
ookati tcar ef
ul l
y.Ihav easi bl
ing,Boikgant sho.
She's4y earsol dert hanmeandI '
dsayour
rel
at i
onshi pisfinebuti t'
snotexact l
yonf ire.
Mydadi snotwhaty ou'dcal ladeadbeatbutI
doubtany bodywoul dsober l
ynomi natehimi n
'
Fat heroft hey ear'awar dsshoul dtheyexi st.He
hasot herki dsbutnoneofusl i
vewi thhim.I 'v
e
beenget ti
nganal lowancef r
om him sinceI
fi
nishedhi ghschool butInev erreall
yspend
ti
mewi thhi m.Heoncecal ledandaskedt hat
wegof ori cecream y ear sbackbutIendedup
beingsentbackhomebecausehehadmeta
l
adydur i
ngourdat e.Isti
llf
indsolaceinthefact
thathecar edenought oaccompanymet othe
taxirankbutInol ongerwast emybr eathtr
ying
tobui l
dapr operr
el at
ionshipwit
hhi m.Notall
ofuscanhav ethat.Him andmom don' tget
along.Shesay sshehasnev erl
ikedhim, ev
enat
fi
rstsight.

"I
'm notf orrelat
ionshi ps.I'
venev erbeen. "What
Imeantbyt hisis, I
'venev erbeeni napr oper,
stablerelati
onshi p.AndnoI '
m noty ourt ypi
cal
"7Bs"ki ndaBet tybutt heguy sIl i
kear eal ways
eit
hertooy oungort aken.I '
vef ooledar ound
andwast edt i
mei naf ewi nteractionst hat
endedwi thjustkissingbutt hat'sabouti t
.Not
havingal otoff r
iendshel pedsoI '
v enev erbeen
i
nanyki ndofpr essur e.I'm asel f-
proclai med
andcert i
fiedloner .ButIdohav eabest fri
end.
Boitumel o.Hehasmul ti
pleper sonalit
ies.An
enti
resquadi nonesoInev erreal
lyfeelthe
needt osupplementourf ri
endshipwi thother
people.Irecentl
ymov edt otownbecauseofmy
j
obandhewentt ogost udymedi cineinCape
townbutcont raryt ocommonexpect ati
ons,we
getcloserbyt hemi nutecausewet extallday
everydayl i
kewe' reinar el
ati
onship,ofwhi ch
wehav ebeenaccusedofaphet horaoft i
mes
unti
lev er
ybodyact uall
yf oundoutt hathe's
anythi
ngbutst r
aight.Him andIf i
rstmeti n
grade9.

Letmegi vey ouami ni ski

rtdescripti
onof
my sel
f.I
'm notli
ghtski nnedandnei theram I
exactl
ydar k.Nottallnorshort,averagehei ght
.
Peoplealway scompl imentmyhai rl
i
neandsayI
haveani ce,beauti
fulandl ongblackaf ro.I'
m
notresponsibleforthegoodheal t
hofmyhai r
.
Mymom deser vesall t
heaccol adesf orthatbut
I'
verecentlybeenfeelinglikei
thast ogosi nceI
l
ivealonenow.I 'veal waysunder mi nedhow
muchofaf ullti
mej obitistakingcar eofhai r
.
She'stheonewhodi dt hewashi ng, moi sturi
zing
andpr otect i
veplat i
ng.Theonl yt hi
ngI 'm good
atistyingi tupinabun.I '
veoncehadshor thair
whenIwasi nprimar yschool butl ookingatal l
myol dpi cturesIseehowi taccent uatesand
exagger atesmybi gey es.Mysi steral way s
mocksmeandsay sIsleepwhi l
emyey esar e
awakebecausesomet imest heydon' tf ul
lyshut,
especiallywhenIsl eepwi thouti ntent i
onwhi l
e
seatedorsomet hingoft hatsor t.Idi dn'tli
ke
them whi legrowi ngupbecauseIal way sgot
teasedaboutt hem butnow, t
hey '
remy
favouri
t efacialfeatureandt hey 'react uallyvery
beautifulandwhi te.Thelongl ashesal sowor k
overti
met omakesur eoft hi
s.Ibel i
ev ey ounow
haveapi ctureofwhatImi ghtlookl i
ker i
ght?
Right!
I
nser
t2
Igotev erythingIneededandwasdr i
v enback
tomypl ace.Ont heway ,Icouldn'tstopt hinki
ng
aboutMuzi andsmi l
ingt omy selfli
keani diot.
Thedr i
v eradj ustedhi srearviewmi rrorand
smiledt ohimsel faswel l.Thismadef eelstupid
anduncomf ortable.Ifeltli
keexpl aini
ngmysel f
toshowt hatIhav eall myscr ewsi ntactandam
actual
lynotcr azy .Iwasputoutofmymi sery
whent het ripended.

Igott omypl ace, unlockedthedoorandcl osed

i
twi thmyf ootaf terenteri
ng.Iputt hepl asti
cs
ont heki tchencount erandwentbackt olock
thedoor .Icannev erbecomf ortableandat
easeknowi ngt hatmydoori sunl ocked.My
i
magi nationi smybi ggestenemy .ButI
appr eciatet hisOCDcauseonecannev erbet oo
safe, consider ingt heGBVst atsint hiscount r
y .
Afterchangi ngi ntomyf l
uffyslipper s,Imake
mywayt ot heki tchenwhi lechecki ngmyt ext
s.
Ihav eabout8unr eadmessagesonWhat sApp.
Onef rom Tumi (hepr ef ersi tpronouncedas
"Toome"byt heway ,
t hedr amabahl ali.The
drama! ).Hesentt wot ext supdat ingmeabout
thedat ehewentonl astni ghtandaski ngi fI'
m
okaybecauseI '
vebeenabsentf rom t heapp
sincelastni ghtar ound23h00buthecal ledme
whi l
eIwasatt hemal l tocheckuponmesoI
don'treplytot hatone.Anot herimpor tantt ex t
wascomi ngf rom Kgant sho.Shehadsenta
screenshotaspr ooft hatshepai dmebackt he
R450Ibor rowedherl astweek.Mysi st erist he
mostpanct ual personIknow.Shedoesn' tneed
tober emi ndedaboutany t
hi ng,especi all
y
pay i
ngbackmoneyont imeandshe' susual ly
theonet oar r
ivef i
rstshoul dweagr eet omeet
upsomewher eandIhonest l
ylovet hist r
ai t
abouther .She' sreliableandhonest .Iscr ol l
throught heot hermessagesasIunpackmy
groceriesandt estmyi roni fitwor ks.Ther est
wer ejustrepliest omyst at usupdat eIpost ed
sayingI '
m needofahai rcutandpeopl eshould
recommendt hebestbar berstheyknowof .
Inst
eadoft hat,alotwer eagainstmydeci sion
butIhav eonl yonemot her.Asi fshe'sgonna
agree.She' salsogonnagi v
emehel lbutI
'm
prepar edforit.Iwaskindadi sappoi ntedthat
Muzi hadn'ttextedbutIdi dn'twantt oadmi tit
tomy sel
f.Ikeptsay i
ngi toutloudt hateveni f
hedoesn' tevercont actmei twon' tstingany
wher e.I'
m certainl
ytheonl ypersonwhol iesto
themsel vesthisway .Iam sur eofit.

Thet i
mewasnow16h47andgi r
lhadno
ambitiontogetintothewat erandactuallybath.
Iorderedal ar
geboxoft ri
pledeckerpizzawhen
Iarri
vedandIhadi tallbymy selfwit
hsome
wineandIwasnowpay i
ngforit.I
'v
enev erfelt
thi
slazyandf ull
.Tumi andIar ehonestl
yt he
onlyonest hatknowthatIdr i
nkalcohol.The
familythatmymom gotmar r
iedintoisvery
rel
igi
ous.Meandmysi swer eact uallyf orcedt o
wakeupev erySundaymor ningt opr epar efor
Sundayschool .ButIev entuall
ybecamea
Sundayschool dr op-outbecauseofal lthe
tantr
umsIt hrewandt henoi seImadewhenI
gotther e.Kgant shocompl etedt he'cour se'and
actuallygotacer t
ifi
catebutnowt hatpapa( Our
stepf ather)isgonewebot hdon' tev engot o
churchany mor e.Mom doesbutshe' saf i
rm
beli
ev erofonemaki ngt hei
rowndeci sions.
She'sal way spr eachingt hatifsomet hing
doesn' tmakey ouhappy ,neversety our selfon
fi
retokeepot her swar m.Nev erbendov er
backwar dst omakeot her scomf ortabl e.I'm not
wor r
iedaboutherf indingoutt hatIdodr ink
causeshewon' tbedr amat icabouti t.She' l
lonly
tel
lmet ohav elimits.Any wayI '
mr ambl ing.

Ioptf
orashoweri
nst
eadofabathcauseit
's
qui
cker.Whi
l
eI'
minther
e,myphonebeeps.I
quicklyt ookat owel from wher eIhangt hem,
turnedof fthef aucetwi t
ht hemostspeedand
j
umpedoutt omybedr oom l i
keIwasexpect ing
amessagef rom SAl otteries.Igetdisappoi nted
upont hedi scov eryt hati twasj ustamer e
"Thankssi s"f rom Kgant sho.Isi nkmywetsel f
ont hebedandscr oll t
hroughmyWhat sApp.
Everl ookedf orsomet hingy ouknewv erywel l
thatitisn'tt here?Thatwasme.Thatwasme
goingt ot hebot tom ofmychat sthinkingI
might 'vear chivedhi schatbymi stake.Ther e
wasnot hingt her e.Il ockedmyphoneandt hrew
i
tbackont hebed.Idr iedmysel fup, loti
oned
andgoti ntomypy jamas.At anktopandsi lk
pant swhi chwentupt oj usthalfmyl eg.It ook
offmyshowercapandputonabl ackhai rband
j
ustabov emyhai rline.Iwentbackt ot he
kit
chent ot idyupandandf i
nishupt hebot tleof
wineIopenedandt hemov i
e(Gi
rl'
strip)Iwas
wat chingonNet flix.Itgotv eryl
ateandIhad
gottenMuzi outofmymi nd.Tumi keptsay i
ng
"Menar enotwor thitandy oubeenknew" .We
keptt al
ki ngunt ilhismi nutesr anoutandwe
continuedourconv ersat iononWhat sApp,
exchangi ngv oicenot es.Icoul dnev erget
enoughofbest obehonest .Iwasst art
ingto
feelreallysleepyandmyey eswer eshi theavy.I
switchedof fthescr eenandunpl uggedmy
phonechar gerf rom thesocket .Iwentt ocheck
i
fmydoorwasst i
ll
locked( donotj udge)and
switchedof fthel i
ghti nt hel i
vi
ngr oom/ ki
tchen.
Ireceivedacal lfrom anunknownnumberandI
wasact uallyv erypissedbecauseIhat epeople
whocal l mebet ween22h00and05h00.I
i
gnor edt hecal landaf termyphonewentsi l
ent
i
timmedi atel
yhi tmet hati tmightbeMuzi .I
start
edpr ay i
ngi nEgy pt i
ant onguest hatthe
niggacal lsagai n.Icl osedmybedr oom door
andsatonmybed.Icont inuall
yt appedmy
phoneonmyl eftpalm wai t
ingf orittor i
ng.It
did.Iscr eamedanddanced" pounci ngcat "wit
h
thephonei nmyr i
ghthandbef or eIcomposed
my
sel
fandact
ual
l
yanswer
ed.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Hi
m:Nkosazana.Ul
eley
in?
Get
ti
ngi
nto'
sl
eepyv
oicegear
'mode.
Me:
Uhm.
.yea.Who'
sthi
s?
Hi
m:Ngi
yaxol
i
samommyshar
k.I
t'
sYi
se.
(
I'
m sor
ry)
Il
aughedathim mocki
ngmeaboutr
ingt
one,
whichIf
orgott
ochange.
Me:Hey
.It
'sokay
.I'
vebeenasl
eepf
orawhi
l
e
now.
Him:I'
m sorryforcall
i
ngyouthislat
e.Myday
wasjustrefusi
ngt oendbecauseIwantedto
wrapupev eryt
hingIcameheret odotodaysoI
canbefreet omorrow.
Me:Ohyou'
releavingt
omor
row?Isaidthi
s
hopi
ngandprayingwit
hmybuttchecksti
ght
ly
pr
essedt
hathe'
dsayno.
Him:No,
Monday.Iwasactual
l
yhopingt
hatI
coul
dseeyour"
real
faceoh"k'
sasa.
Il
aughedandbl
ushed.
Me:
Whati
fkebusy
?(Whati
fI'
m..
)
Him:Busywi
thwhatonaSunday
?Demons
don'
tgotochur
ch.Ordot
hey?
Me: Whodoy outhi
nki
sresponsi
blef
orthe
nastythoughtsyougetwhi
leyouprayko
kerekeng?(
..atchur
ch)
Hel
aughs.I
'
m happyt
hatIcanmakehi
mlaugh
t
obehonest
Him:Onaseriousnot
ethough,I
'mtaki
ngy ou
outt
omorrow.Mybatter
yisabouttodieandI
l
eftmychargerathome.I
'l
lgetanewoneand
cal
lyout
omor rowmorni
ng.Ulal
ekahleyezwa?
That"Yezwa"dr
ov emei
nsaneandIended
droppi
ngthecallbymi
stake.Idi
dn'
tknow
whethertocallhi
m backort exthi
m.Ibeliev
e
I
'm aladyandnol adywant st oappearas
desperate.AsIwasbat tl
ingwi thmythoughts,
hesentmeat extsaying"Pleasedon'thauntme
i
nmysl eep.Goodnight.
".Andt henmynight
wasmade.

Unedi
ted.
I
nser
t3

Cansomebodypl easer emindmewhyIhav ean

al
ar mfor5am onaSunday .Jizasi
!Iquickl
y
pressedthehugebuttonatt het opofthealarm,
switcheditof
fandletitfalloffofthebed.I
tr
iedtogetsomemor esleepbutIknewIwasn' t
goingtosucceedbecauseaccor dingt
omy
bi
ologicalcl
ock,
Ishouldbeupandoutofbed
andhav i
ngmyf i
rstcupofcof feebynow.
KgantshoandIcalli
tpet rolbecausewel egit
won'tf uncti
onifwedon' thavecoffeeinthe
mor ningbutmy' conditi
on'isquit
emi l
d
compar edtohers.Shedr i
nksmor ecoffeethan
shedoeswat er
.Ionlyneedt ohaveitoncei na
singleday .Ipul
lmyphonewi thmyt humbf rom
thebedsi detableandlayononmyback.If irst
goonI nstagram andthenfigureIshoul
dj ust
callbes
Him: Bit
chyouhadbet terhaveadar
ngood
reasonwhyy ou'rewakingmeupat5am ona
Sundaymor ning.Didyoureceiv
eaDM f
rom
Christannouncinghisarr
ival
?
Il
augh.Iknewhewasgonnagoof
fatmebutI
cal
ledanyway.
Me:
Goodmor
ningt
oyout
oo
Hi
m: What
'ssogoodaboutt
hismor
ning?You
hi
tthemanjackpot
?
Me:
Iwoul
dn'
tsaysobuuuuuuut
..
.
Icoul
dli
ter
all
yhearhi
m get
ti
ngupf
rom hi
sbed
andscr
eami
ngi
nmyear
.
Him:Hoey
oudon'tsay
!??Spi
l
l.Spi
l
lthebeans
bef
oret
het
inexpl
odes.
Me:Ther
e'snothi
ngmuchinthet
inany
way
.
Onl
ythatIhaveadat
etoday.
Hi
m:Ohmywor
d.Wher
eishet
aki
ngy
ou?
Hesai
d.Soundi
ngmor
ecal
m andsof
tspoken
now.
Me:Hedi
dn'
tgeti
ntodet
ail
sbecausehi
s
bat
ter
ywasdyi
ng.
Me:ButIl
i
kehimfr
iend!Hemakesmel
augh.
AndIcanmakehi
ml aughtoo.
Him:Ncao.Sendthepi
csandI '
l
l dothedeciding.
(Heal
wayspicksoutmyout f
itwhenev erIhave
animport
antmeetingt
oattend).Nowy ouneed
todosomeser i
ousbodyscrubbing.Andmake
surey
ourasssmel l
sgood.
Me:
Thatsoundedsowr
ong.
Him: Argfuckoutt
aheregrandmay ouknow
whatImean.Andev enifi
tmeantwhateveryou
bri
ckheadi sthi
nking,
itwoul
dstil
lbecorrect
.
Bihifyourvaghadapasswor d,
you'dhave
forgott
enitbynow.
Il
aughedsohar
dandt
oldhi
mtof
indt
he
ear
li
estbust
ohell
.

Ithengotupf rom t hebedandwentt obrush

myt eethandwashmyf ace.Ifeltl
ikeahuge
breakfastsoIwentst raightt othekitchentogo
maket oast,eggs, baconandsl icedtomat oes
withblackpepper .Ialway shavemycof feewit
h
milkandat ruckloadofsugar .Accordingtome,
peoplewhohav ecof feebl ackwi thnosugarare
psychopathst bh.Iswi tchedont henews, had
mybr eakfastwhi l
er eplyingtot extsonmy
phone.Icheckedmyemai lsandIhadnoev ents
l
inedup.Asat iredbusi nesswomanwhowas
l
ookingf owardt oadat e,thiswasar el
ieft
ome.
WorkingasaP.Aforaverydemandingboss
andatthesameti
mer unninganevents-
managementcompanyi snochil
d'
splayItel
l
you.Isomehowzonedoutont hecouchand
waswokenupbycal l
from Muzi.
Hi
m:Boi
khokhobhet
so.
Me:
Arey
ousur
eyouhav
ether
ightnumberSi
r?
Webothlaughandhesays"
Comeon.It
ri
ed.
Al
ri
ghtal
rightNgi
zovel
engi
k'
bi
zeuMaKhumalo
i
phel
elendaba"
(I
'
llj
ustcal
lyouMaKhumal
osot
hisi
ssuecan
end)
Me:
I'
m act
ual
l
yaMot
lhabane,
sir
.
Hi
m:Notf
orl
ong.
Ial
mostchokeonmysali
vaanddeci
det
ohav
e
thi
sconv
ersat
ionseat
ed.
Hi
m:Ar
eyouokayov
ert
her
e?
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.I
'
m per
fect
lyf
ine.
Him:Look,
Ineedaf
ewessenti
alsbef
ore
headi
ngbackhometomor
row.Mindcoming
wit
h?
I
twasar
ound09h07andIhadn'
ttakenabat
h.
Me:Badidea.I
'
minnost
atet
obeseenwal
ki
ng
ar
oundinpubli
c.
Hi
m:Idon'
tmi
nd.
Me:
Uh.
.
Him:I
'
m comi
ngtopi
cky
ouupinanhourmax.
Coul
dyouki
ndl
ysendmeyourl
ocat
ion?
Me:Yououtcheagi
vi
ngmeinst
ruct
ionsandy
et
youdon'
tknowwhereIl
i
ve.
Iscof
f.
Hi
m:You'
renowl
eftwi
th58mi
nut
est
oget
r
eady
.
Hedroppedthecal
lbef
oreIcoul
dr epl
y.The
ner
ve!He'spr
obabl
yusedtoabusinghischarm
andgett
inghisway
.Hencethearr
ogance.Ipull
myf
leeceandgobackt
osl
eep.Whoeverhas
t
hel
ocati
onshal
lhavet
hel
astl
augh.
I
nser
t3cont
..
.

BeforeIcoul dcat chsomesl eep, hesentme

messagesay i
ng" Uyayi
thumel aleyolocat i
onor
ufunauk' bonangami sengfikal apho? "whi ch
dir
ectlytranslatesto"Arey ousendi ngmet hat
l
ocat i
onory ouwantt oseemear ri
vet here? "
I'
vehear dst or
iesabouthowdemandi ngand
bossyZul umencangetbutt heki ndofl i
ver
Muzi hascannev erbefoundi nanybut cheryin
SouthAf rica.Iignoredthetextandwentback
tosleep.Idon' tdowel lwit
hi nst r
uctions,
especiallywhencomi ngfrom aman.I 'm notso
sureIliket hi
sguyany more.Igotwokenupbya
callt
elli
ngmet hatheisout sidemybui l
ding
andIshoul dcomedown.I nitiall
yIthoughthe
wasj okingunt i
l hedescri
bedt hev i
cinity.
Normal ly,Iwoul dbefreakedoutbyt hisgest ure
butinsteadI'mturnedon.Iloveamanwho
defiesalloddstogetwhathewant s.Okaythat
wasabi tdeepanddramat i
c.Isl
ideint
omy
sli
ppersandr ushtomybat hroom toseei
fmy
faceisokay .Myhairisi
namessybunandIst il
l
hav emysl eepi
ngbandon.I '
m notchangi
ngmy
pyjamascauseIknowhe' sgonnaforcemet o
gowi thhimt othemalli
fIlookdecent.Hewill
j
usthav et odeal.

OnceIgetdownst ai
rsIseehi ml earningagai nst
aMer cedesbusyt ypingonhi sphonewi t
hhis
l
egscr ossed.Isl
owl ywal ktowar dshi m andhe
l
ooksupandst opst ypi
ngt ost areatme
i
nst ead.Hel i
ft
shi shandsi ntot heai rindicat
ing
thatIshoul dcomet ohimf orahug.Ihav en't
shower edyetsoIslowl yshakemyheadand
blush.Hel aughsandsay s" Woza" ,pullinghim
i
nt ohisar ms.Hesmel l
ssosogood!Icoul d
totall
yst ayhereforever.Ifeelsaf e.Iget
i
ntoxi
cat
edbyhisscentandmymi nddri
fts
awaywit
houtmypermission.Hegent
lypushes
mebackandlooksatme.
Him:Wazewamuhl
eumuntuekseni
bo!.(You'
re
sobeaut
if
uli
nthemor
ning.
)Ibl
ushandlook
away
Me:
Nxast
opbei
ngsi
l
ly.
Him:NotthatImi ndbut..
Igiveyouanenti
re
hourt
ogetr eadyandt hisi
st heout
fi
tyou
deci
deupon?Hesay sandlaughs,mocki
ngmy
pyj
amas.Ithinmyey esandjustsay"Mci
m",
deci
dingagainstclappi
ngback.It'
stooearl
yfor
thi
s.
Him:Ngi yadl
alahaw.Anyway,youlook
beautif
ul.Honestl
y.Iwoul
dn'tmindwakingup
tothi
ssi ghteachandeverydayfortherestof
myl i
fe.
Ii
nst
ant
lyfeelbutt
erf
li
esflut
ter
inginmy
st
omach.Iblushandletoutasmile.Ican'
tl
ook
himi ntheey eforlong.Igetlostinhiseyes.He
keepsdr oppinghintsaboutwant i
ngmei nhis
l
ife.IhopeI '
m notbeingt akenforar i
de.It
woul dbreakmyhear tcauseIal r
eadyday
dream abouthav ingbabiesbyt hisman.I'm
havingallthesethought sunti
lIremembert hat
I'
m stil
linast r
anger'shandsandt hestr
angeris
holdingmywai st
.Ipullawayandsay" Uhm...
",
feeli
ngal l
typesofawkwar d.Heopenst he
passengerdoort ohi scarandi ndicat
eswithhis
handt hatIshouldgeti n.
Me:
Youhonest
lycannotsti
ll
beexpecti
ngme
t
ogoshoppi
ngwithyou.Ihaven'
tshower
ed.
Hi
m: Yi
phut
hal
i
kabani
lel
o?(
Andwhosef
aul
tis
t
hat?
)
Me:I
'
m honestl
ynotdoi
ngthi
swithy
ou,
not
t
oday.Ican'
tgotot
hemall
looki
ngli
ket
his.
Hi
m:Wel
lI'
m nott
aki
ngnof
orananswer
.
Iexhal
edi
ndef
eat
.
Me:
Okayokay
.Gi
veme30mi
nut
est
ogetr
eady
.
Hi
m:20.
Me:
30.Orwe'
renotgoi
ngany
wher
e.
Hi
m:Av
eunenkani
.Okay
.(You'
resost
ubbor
n)
Iwalkbackandhel
ockshi
scarandf
oll
owsme.
Ist
opandaskwhereheisgoi
ng.
Him:Youarenotexpect
ingmetositouther
e
andwaitf
orhalfanhour.Ar
eyou?
Me:Butyoucan'
tcomewi
th.I
'
m goi
ngt
obat
h
f
orheaven'
ssake.
Him:Lookifyoudon'tt
rustmeyou'
l
llockyour
bathr
oom andcomeoutonl ywhenyou'r
edone
andfull
ydressed.Masambe.Hesaysandpull
s
mebyhand.
Whil
ewewal ktomyapar
tmentIaskhi
m wher
e
he'
sgoingt
ol eav
ehi
scarcausehesai
dhe'
s
cat
chingaf
li
ghtbackhome.
Hesai
dher
ent
edi
toutandwecar
ri
edmaki
ng
smalltal
kunt i
l wegott omypl ace.Wegoti n
andItoldhimt omakehi msel fcomf or
table.I
gettomybedr oom andIshower .Af
terI'
m done,
Iputonaskybl uekneel engtht i
ghtdressand
mygol dpushi nsandl es.Ibattl
ewi t
hchoosi ng
betweenmynat uralhairandawi g.Ioptformy
Peruvi
anwi ginst ead.I '
m aloverofinchesbut
i
t'
snott hatlong.Just18' '
.Iputonl i
pglossbut
nottoomuch.I '
v ealreadysaidt hatI'
m nota
l
overofmake- upsoIpr eferlookingasnat ural
aspossible.UnlessI 'mr eall
yint hemood.It ake
mycellphoneandheadout .

Ifi
ndhi ml ookingatt hi
squoteIhav einaf r
ame
i
nmyl ivi
ngr oom justnexttomydoort hatgoes
"Alway scarr
yaf lagonofwhi skeyincaseof
snakebi t
e.Andf urthermore,
alway scarrya
small snake"byW. CFi el
ds.Hel aughsandsay s
"I
nteresting.
"Hedi dn'tseemecomeoutofmy
room.
Me:I
'
mr eady
.Isayt
hisl
ett
ingmyhandsf
all
to
mysi
des.
Hi
m:Yoh!Hesay
sandhi
smout
hhangsopen.
Me:
Yini
?
Hi
m:Wazewamuhl
ebo.
Me: You'
ret
ell
i
ngmet hi
sforthe2ndt i
metoday
I
'm star
ti
ngtothi
nky ou'
rel
ying.Isayandl
augh.
Helaughsaswell.He'sr
eall
ybeaut i
ful
maaan.
Hi
m:Ican'
thel
pit
.Honest
ly.Umuhl
engempel
a.
Me:
Let
'sgetgoi
ngbef
orey
oul
i
esomemor
e.

Weheadoutandgot othemal lt
ogethist hi
ngs.
Heaskedmei fIneedany thi
ngandIsaidno.
He'sconsi
der
ate.Ili
kethat.Wepl aysome
gamesatthemal lunti
lI'
m hungryandsluggish.
Idon'
tknowhowt ellhi
mt hatI'
m hungry.He
seesmysuddendi si
nterestandsuggestwego
togetsomefood.Iwashopi ngthatwe'l
l get
someKFC.Ikeptmydi sappoi ntmentt omysel f
andwewal kedtoWool ies.Whi l
eont heway ,he
gotat extonhisphone.Her epliedandputback
i
nhi spocketandhel dmyhand.Wegett here
andgetsomewi ne,grapes, winegl asses,
strawberri
es,abigtubofy ogurtandsome
snacks.Iwassur pr
isedathi schoicesf orlunch
butwepayandheadout .Ifi
nall
ygett hegutsto
askhi mthatwegot oKFCbecauset hisisnot
allI'
m havi
ng,notwhenI '
mt hisf amished.He
l
aughsandsay swe'llgot oadr ivethrough.We
gettot hecarandheopenst heboot .Iseea
picnicbasketandal i
ghtt hrow.Thi sfucker
plannedallofthi
s!Hel ooksatmeandcl oses
thebootwi thasmugsmi l
eonhi sface.

Oncewegetsettl
edint
hecar,herecei
vesacal
l
anddecl
inesi
t.Thecal
l
ercal
lsagainandhe
exhal
esandfi
nall
yanswer
s.Iwonderwhohas
himthi
sannoyed.
Hi
m:Gugu
Hi
m: ButIr
epl
iedandsai
dI'
l
lcal
lyouback
whenI'
mf r
ee.
Him:Hai
kekuzof
aneleukhul
umenoMacauseI
can'
thel
pyouri
ghtnow.(You'
ll
hav
etospeakt
o
Ma..
)
Hi
m:Ofcour
seIcar
eabouthi
m..
Hi
m:Nowy
ou'
rej
ustbei
ngunr
easonabl
e
Heholdhisf
orehead,
exhal
esandtell
shert
hat
he'
l
lcall
herbackanddropsthecal
l
.

Helookst omeandsay sthatwashi sbaby '

s
mot her.Hehasachi l
d?Iignoreall
these
questionsinmyheadashedr iveswhilemaki ng
smal lt
alktoapark.It
'sactual
lynottoof arfr
om
wher eIli
veandthere'
salsoamuseum cl oseby .
Thisjustshowedmet hatI
'm al
way sindoorsif
ther
e'snogoodneedf ormet obeout side.We
getthereandsi t,t
alkandl augh.Al
ot.Iendup
teachinghim howt opl ayAnimalrescue,a
gameIl ov eandhav eonmyphone.I t'
sgetti
ng
reall
ylateandweheadbackt omyplaceandI
wasst arti
ngt ogetitchyfrom mosquitobi
tes.
Wegett hereandsi tinthecar.Hesuddenly
l
ookedl ikehehadal otonhismind.Thesil
ence
afterhepar kedwast ooloudandawkwar dfor
me.Ideci dedt obreaki t
.
Me: Ienj
oyedmydayt oday.Thankyou.He
shakeshisheadoncelikehejustgotwokenup
fr
om abaddr eam andsmiles.Heholdsmy
handwi t
hbothofhisandkissesthebackofit
.
Hislipsar
esoftandcold.
Hi
m: Icoul
dn'
thavemySundayanyot
herway.
Ngi
yabonga,MrsMe.Il
aughandfi
nal
l
yrel
ease
what
'sbeenheavyonmychest
Me:Mci
i
m whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mey
ouhav
ea
chi
l
d?
Hi
m:Youdi
dn'
task.
Me:
Yeahr
ight
.
Him:Butwhatdi
dyouexpectvel
e?I
'
m 32year
s
ol
d.Showmeanymanatt hisagewhodoesn'
t
haveakid?
Hehasapoi
ntthough.Weonl
ymety
est
erday
.
Maybehewasgonnatell
me.
Him: Looksthandwasami .It
'sapi t
yIhav etogo
backhomet omor r
owot her wiseIwasgonna
i
ronoutev erythingf oryousowest artonthe
samepage.Butngi kholwewhenIsayIl oved
youthef i
rstti
meIsawy ourbigey eswander i
ng
i
nt hatshoplooki ngf orhelp.Youst olemyhear t
andy oudidn'tev enknowi tyourself
.Iwanty ou
tobet hefir
stt hi
ngIseewhenIwakeupand
thelastpersonIsmi letobef oreIsleep.I'
m
gonnamakey oumywi f
e,what evertheodds.
AllIaskisfory out owal kthisjourneywi t
hand
mosti mportant l
y,totrustme.
I'
venev erfeltt
hisway .ImeanIknewhel i
ked
meandhekeptdr oppinghintsbutIdi dn'tthink
i
twast hi
sdeep.Hegotoutoft hecar ,gottomy
doorandopenedi t.Heheldmyhandand
helpedmeoutonl ytoscoopmei ntohisst rong
arms.Hemov edhi sheadf rom myneck, l
ooked
atmeandl eanedi nf orakiss.Istar t
edf eel
ing
tenseandner vous.Hel aughedbr iefl
yandt ol
d
met or el
ax.Heki ssedmesosl owl yandso
passionatelyIbecameweti naninst ant.Hehad
hishandsonmywai st,soft
lyholdingme.I
broketheki ssbecauseIdef ini
tel
yneededt o
breathe.Iexhaledandhel etoutasmi l
e.
Il
ookedathi
m andl
eanedagai
nsthi
scar
.
Me:OkayIunder
standthebabypar
t.Buthow
comeafinemanlikeyouisnoty
ettaken?
Hegent
lypul
l
edmebackintohi
sarmsandput
hi
sfor
eheadagai
nstmi
ne.Heki
ssedmeonce
andsaid"
Ngi
thekuwena,t
rustme.Ngi
cel
a
ungi
thembe?
"andconti
nuedkissi
ngme.
I
nser
t4

I'
vebeenkissedbef orebutwhateverwas
happeningrightnowi ssomethi
ngI '
venev er
experi
enced.Hesmi l
edinbetweentheki ssand
peckedmyl ipsonel astt
imeandtoldmehe
hadtoleave.I'veneverbeenmoresad.Idi dn'
t
wanthimt ogoandwi shedhecouldstayal it
tl
e
l
onger.Ihadl osttr
ackoft i
mebutIknewi twas
l
ate.Hewat chedmewal kintot
hebui l
ding
befor
eget t
inginhiscaranddr i
vi
ngof f.

Igottomypl ace,cl
osedthedoorandst ood
agai
nstit
,smi l
ingandshakingmyheadatwhat
j
usthappened.Hi sscentwasal
lov ermeand
yesIcoul
dn'tstopsmel l
i
ngmydr ess.
Muzikayi
seKhumal oisdriv
ingmei nsane!
Iwentst r
aightt omybedr oom andchar gedmy
phone.Ifoundonemi ssedcall
from mom and
decidedtot extandi nfor
m herthatI'
llcal
lher
tomor r
owbecauseIwaskakt i
redandmyf eet
werekill
ingme.Ij ustknewitwasj ustacheck-
upcallbecausei fitwasanemer gencyI
would'vereceiv edami ni
mum of37mi ssed
call
sfrom her .Thet i
mewas23h12.It ooka
quickshowerandsl i
ppedint
omypy j
amas.I
gotacal lf
rom Muzi whil
eIapplyingnight
cream onmyf ace.
Hi
m:St
handwasami
Icouldgetusedt
obei
ngaddr
essedthisway
.
It
'snotwhathesayst
obehonest
.It
'showhe
saysit.
Me:
Sawubonabab'
Khumal
o
Hel
aughedandi
tsoundedl
i
kehewasbl
ushi
ng
Hi
m:Whot
aughty
ouhowt
ospeakZul
u?
Me:
Hai
sukat
hat
'st
hemostbasi
cZul
uev
er.
Hi
m: Buty
oupronounceditl
ikeapr
operZul
u
gi
rl
.Thisi
sal
lthesi
gnalIneed.
Webot
hlaughedcausehewasbei
ngsi
l
ly.
Me:
Hav
eyouar
ri
ved?
Hi
m: Yeahandngikhat
hel
engiyaf
a(I
'
mti
redand
dy
ing).AndIst
il
lhavetopack.
Me:
Shameman.Whatt
imei
syourf
li
ght
?
Hi
m:At8.I
'
m notl
ooki
ngf
owar
dtoi
t.
Isuddenl
yfel
tmyhear
tcr
acki
ng.
Me:
I'
m gonnami
ssy
out
hough.
Idi
dn'
tmeant
osayt
hisoutl
oud.
Hi
m:Pl
easesayt
hatagai
n.
Me:
Noman.Il
aughed,
feel
i
ngembar
rassed.
Him:
Ngi
yak'
cel
a.I
shost
handwasam.(
Please.
Sayi
tmyl
ove)
Me:
Ngi
zokukhumbul
aMbul
azi
Hi
m: Hawumadoda!
(Icoul
dli
ter
all
yfeel
his
smi
legrowi
ngvi
athephone)
Ngadl
ami
naMnt
ungwa!
Mbul
az'
omny
ama
Abat
hibedl
'
umunt
u,
Bebebemy
engangendaba.
Abadl
'
izi
mf'
ezi
mbi
l
i,
I
khambi
laphumal
i
li
nye.
Lobengul
akaMzi
l
ikazi
,
Mzi
l
ikazi
kaMashobana
ShobananoGasakaZi kode!!!Siy
ashadamina
nawenextmont h.Ut
jel'abazalibakhomina
ngi
zokhul umamoMal ume.( YouandIare
get
t i
ngmar r
iednextmont h.Speakt oy
our
parentsandI'l
lspeaktomyuncl e).
Heari
nghim pr
aisehi
mselfl
i
kethatjustmade
mewet .I
'
mf al
li
ngforhi
m bythesecond.And
har
d!!
Me:Butyoubarel
yknowme.Isayandl aughat
hi
ssil
lysel
fcauseIknowhe'sjustjoki
ng.Who
marr
iessomebodythey'
vebarelyknownf or
l
essthan48hours?
Hi
m:ButIknowy
ouwer
emadef
orme.
Iswear
,ifIrecei
vedarandforeachti
mehe
mademebl ushandmessedwi ththetempoof
myheartbeat,Iwoul
dn'
tevenneedajob.
Me:Mcimletmegetsomesleepbecausesome
ofushav
ewor kt
omorrow.Ul
alekahl
e.
Hi
m:Nawe.Ngi
yak'
thanday
ezwa?
Thebutter
fl
iesi
nmyst
omachwer
efi
ght
ingt
o
beletl
oose.
Me:Hm?Isayandbl
ushcauseIhav
enoidea
howtor
espondtot
hatwi
thoutl
ooki
ngst
upid
andawkwar
d.
Hi
m:Ung'zwekahl
e.Ngithengi
yak'
thanda
nt
ombiyakwaMotlabane.
I
fsomebodywasev erl
ooki
ngf
ortheworst
pr
onounciat
ionofmynameandsurname,t
his
i
sit.Thesearchi
sover
.
Me:Letmesleepbef
orey
ouassassi
nat
emy
gr
andfat
her
'snameevenfur
ther
.
Helaughsandwecont
inuespeaki
ngt
il
l02h10
i
nthemor ni
ng.

I
'm goi
ngtohaveahardti
mewakingupf or
workbutIhav
eabsolut
elyzer
oregr
ets.

Ireal
lywishedt
hisinsertcouldbelongerbutI
'm
exhaustedmyloves.Also,thepostisunedi
ted.
apologi
es.
I
nser
t5.
Istruggledwi thwakingupt hismor ningbuti t
event uall
ygotdone.Icoul dn'
thav emycof f
ee
becauseal lmysocketswer enotwor king.But
nothingcoul dr ui
nthi
sdayf orme, notev ena
rudet axidrivermntakabawo.Igott owor kand
tri
edt ohav emycof feethere.Iscooped3
spoonsofi nstantcoff
eeandasIwasaboutt o
putinsomesugar ,MrMokowal kedi nandt ol
d
met hathe'shav i
ngameet i
ngwi t
hJ&Ki nc.in
20mi nutesandheneedsmet here.Ji zas
Krassswhathappenedt owar ningagi r
l
befor ehand?Hehonest lycould'vet oldmet his
onFr iday.Theamountofwor kIdoar ound
qualifiesmet obemor ethanaP. At obehonest .
Me:
Sur
e.Butmyl
apt
opi
sdead.
Hi
m: You'
l
lusemi
ne.I
'
lluset
hedeskt
opi
nthe
of
fi
ce.
Andpl
easesendmet
hemi
nut
esf
rom Fr
iday
's
meet
ingwi
thKhul
uleka.Com.Pr
efer
abl
ybef
ore
mi
dday.
Me: Consi deritdone.Isai daswebot hmade
wayt ohisoffice.Ont hewayt heremyphone
beeps.Il ookatt hescr eenandi t
'satextf r
om
Muzi .Ipursemyl i
psi nwar dl
y,lookatMrMoko
andst artwal kingslowl ybehi ndhi m.Ir eadt he
textandsmi let omy self.Itread" Mylov e.I'm
alreadyatt heai rportandI 'm aboutt oleav e.
We' l
l t
alkproper lywhenIgett oKZN.Il ovey ou.
Alot."Mysmi legr owst il
lIseeMrMokonow
standingadi st ancei nf r
ontofmei nthe
cor r
idorwi t
ha" Arey oucomi ngornot ? "lookon
hisface, whichwasenought oreprimandand
makemel ockmyphoneandkeepwal king.

Themeet ingwentr
eall
ywellandJason,t
he
founderofJ&Kment i
onedthatIhav
eagood
businessmind.Twi
ce.Heactuall
ywarnedmy
bosst okeepmeclosebecauseI'
m morethan
j
ustanassi st
ant
.Thatboostedmyconf idence,
consider
ingthefactt
hatIal
sohaveasmal l
businesswhichIhavebi
gplansfor.Idon't
i
nt endonbeinganemployeefort
her estofmy
l
ife.
I
twasnowl uncht
imeandIhadcomplet
edall
thetasksIhadtodofortoday
.Masediwal
ked
towardsmeandst oodi
nf r
ontofmycabi
n,
fol
dedandsuppor t
edherhandswit
hthe
part
iti
onandgav emeanaughtysmil
e.
Me:Hawu.Keeng?(
What
?)IsayasIsi
ponmy
cr
anber
ryj
uice.
Her:
Wajol
awenaaker
?(You'
renowdat
ing
r
ight
?)
Ial
mostchokeandIhitmychestsev
eral
times,
tr
yingt
ocatchmybreathe.
Me:
What
?
Her
:It
'snousedenyi
ngit.Kegobonemaobane
att
hemallwit
hyoursnack.(
Isawyou
yest
erday.
..
)Damngi
rl!Iwashonest
lywishi
ng
towalkuptoyousoIcanhav eacl
oselookat
him.Atl
aababamonnat lhe!(
He'
ssohot!)
Istart
edf eel i
nguncomf ortableandj ealousby
thi
sconv ersati
on.Masedi i
stheEner gyFM of
thi
sof f
ice.She' shasf i
l
esonal mostev ery
one
here,i
ncludi ngMrMoko' swifeexceptf orme.I
alwaysmakesur etosepar atecol leaguesand
fri
endship.Theonl yper sonIt rulygetal ongwi t
h
hereisAmo.SheandIar enodi fferent.But
she'sawayonmat ernit
yleav enowsoI 'm
basical
lybor edint
hisof f
ice.It el
l Masedi thatI
havewor kt odoandt urnchairt of acemy
desktopandputmyhandont hemouse,
alt
houghIhav enoideawhatI '
m doi ngont his
screen.Shet akesthewal kofshamebackt o
hercabinandIcont i
nueeat i
ngsi nceI '
m now
outofhersi ght.MrMokowal ksi nandasksi fI
haveemai ledhimthedocumentheaskedf or
thi
smor ning.
Me:
It'
sal
readyi
nyouri
nboxsi
r.
Him:Good.You'r
efreet
otaket
her
estoft
he
dayoff
.Myf acebeamed.
Me:
Forr
eal
boss?
Hi
m:Yes.Wi
tht
hathewal
kedaway
.

Thisgivesmeenoughchancet of
inal
lygoget
myl ongwant edhair
cut .AsImakemywayout
oftheof f
iceithi
tsmet hatIpromisedmymom
thatI'
m gonnacallher.Whi chIshould'
vedone
thismorning.Shoot!Itakeoutmyphone, set
tl
e
ononeoft hebenchesout sidetheoffi
cesand
dialhernumberandi tringsf orawhil
ebefore
sheanswer s.
Mom: Keneker
eolahl
egi
l
ejaanong.Dumel
a
Punkunas(
Iwasst
arti
ngt
othinkyou'
rel
ost
.
Hell
o..
)
Mom st
il
lcal
l
smewi
tht
hesamepetnameshe
didstar
ti
ngfrom whenIwas6andsheknows
verywellt
hatIhat
eit.I
tusedtomakemefeel
cuteandallt
hatbutI'
m agrown-
asswoman
now.
Me:Aowamama.Oi tsesent
legor
eakel
ebat
le
l
einal
eo(Nomom.Youknowv er
ywellt
hatI
don'
tl
ikethatname)
.
Her:
Nnana,Ialsogrowasyougrow,
meaning
you'
l
lalwaysbeababyt ome.I
'
m neverwi
nni
ng
t
hisargumentsoIleti
tgo.
Me:
Gosi
amege.Howar
eyou?
(it
'sf
inet
hen)
Her:
Goll
aagothusi
.Howar
eyou?
(Cr
yinghas
nev
erhel
ped)
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.Ebeosi
mul
l
a(You'
rest
art
ing)
Mymom l i
ter
all
ysayst
hisever
yti
mesomebody
asksherhowsheis.Ev
enifshehasnot
hingt
o
cryabout
.
Her
:Aowakant
egot
husi
tsemang?(
But
honest
ly,
whohasi
tev
erhel
ped?
)
Weconti
nuetalki
ngandlaughi
ng.I
'
vesai
dit
.
Shewasjustchecki
nguponherbabyl
astni
ght
.
Nothi
ngwasonf ir
e.

Iquickl
ymakemywayt othesalont
hatonemy
W/Appcont actsref
err
edmet oandIfi
ndit
al
mostempt y,
justonegi
rldoi
ngboxbrai
ds.I
getthereandgreetandtheyal
lwarmlygr
eet
back.
Hair
dresser
:Otl
ologalewenasthandwa?
(Ar
e
youalsoheret
oplaity
ourhai
rlove?)
Me:Noact
uall
yI'
m her
eforahai
rcut
.Ihear
d
youal
sodothem.
Her
:Yohonyakagocutmor
iri
omobotseso?
(
Youwantt
ocutsuchbeaut
if
ulhai
r)
Ladyget
ti
ngherhai
rdone:
Whyt
hough?
Shesay
s,t
aki
ngoutachunkoft
hehai
rpi
ece
shehasinherlef
thand.I
'vehonest
lyhad
enoughofthi
sconversat
ionbutIdon'
twantt
o
berude.
Me:
I'
mjustt
ir
edofi
t.
Hai
rdresser
:Al
ri
ght.Si
tonthatchai
r.Thabo
wentouttogetchi
ps.He'
llbebacki
nami nut
e.
YoucancallmeNtebo.Shortf
orNteboheng.
Thegir
lget
ti
ngherhai
rdonesai
dshe'
sDi
neo
andIal
sointr
oducedmysel
f.
I
'm guessi
ngthat'
sthebar
ber.Ir
emovethe
towelfr
om thechai
randtakemyseati
nf r
ont
ofthemirr
or.
Dineo:Nekesagohl al
osetsa(AsIwassay i
ng..
),
I'
m donewi t
hhim.Act uall
yI'
m donewi th
babydaddiesingeneral.Il
ovehim buthisbaby
mommai stoomuchf orme.Lastnightshe
call
edhimr erobetse(
Whi l
ewe'resleeping)and
saidthebabyishav i
ngbaddr eamsandhe
shouldcomeov er.Enompot safela.
.(Justtel
l
me/
imagi
ne)
Ntebobur
stoutlaughi
ngandshakedherhead
unti
lDi
neostar
tedlaughi
ngaswellbutIcoul
d
seeshewasupset.
Dineo:Skatshegahl
ewena(Don'
tl
augh).I
'm
beingseri
ous.Shecankeephi
m..Ican'
t.
Me:
Didhego?
Iwast
hinki
ngoutl
oudandmymout
hsni
tched
onme.
Dineo:
Hedid!That
'
swhyI '
m soupset
.He
j
umpseacht i
meshesnapsherskinnyfi
nger
s
andexpect
smet ounder
stand.
Nt
ebo:
Ger eey
annet
engit'
sveryr
aret
ofi
nda
manwit
houtachi
l
dthesedays.
Shesay
sasshepl
ait
s
Ntebo:Butwhat'si
mpor t
anti
shi
m creat
inga
boundaryforthebabymomma.Ifhedoesn' t
demandt hatsherespect
syouasthecurrent
mast ene( Landlady)thenshe'sgoingt odoas
shepl eases.Nnapapawangwanaka
ompodi tsedinakot senkaf ounangkat sona
(Mybabydaddyst ipulatedthetimesonwhi ch
I'
m act uallyal
lowedt ocall)andIsomet imes
speakt oLerataaboutt hebabyi nsteadofhim.I
won'tsayI '
ml uckybutIappr eciat
et hi
s
rel
ationshi pwehav ebetweent he3ofus.Not
allbabymommashav edrama.Takemef or
exampl e..
Theycarr
iedonspeakingbutItr
ail
edoffinmy
ownthoughts.Thinki
ngaboutmyrelat
ionshi
p
withMuziandwhat '
sactual
l
yinstoref
orme.I
meanI'mf al
l
ingforthi
smanbutIdon'tneed
dramainmyl if
e..
.

Unedi
ted.Excuset
heer
ror
s.
I
nser
t6.
Thabodi dcomebackaf terami nuteasNt ebo
promi sedandhedi dapr ettygoodj obifImust
say .Il ookedl i
keapr opergent l
eman.Jokes.I
l
ookedr eal l
ypr etty.Heev enof f
eredt oopena
"Longwal kt ofreedom"ont hesideandswor eit
woul dsui tme.Iaskedt hatwemakeadeal .Ifi
t
doessui tmet henI '
m alway sgonnacomet o
himf orhai rcutsandpayR20ext raev eryt
ime,
i
ncl udi ngt oday .Ifitdoesn'tI'
m pay i
nghal fthe
price.Iwasl egitgambl ingwi t
hmyappear ance
her e.Hel aughedatmynegot iat
ionski l
ls.He
agr eed( asexpect ed)becauseIknowI '
mv ery
goodatconv incingpeopl e.IfIwasn' tthis
empat hicIwoul d'
v emadeagr eatconar t
ist.I
washappyaf t
erhewasdone.Het ookme
picturesf ormar ketingpurposesandal so
forwar dedt hem t ome.Ikeptmyendoft he
deal andwentbackhome.

Igott
her
eandadmi
redmy
sel
font
hemi
rr
or.
Everythingispopping.Myey es,skin,hai
r,
everything!Isuddenlyf el
tlikeIneededt ogo
out.Ididn'tcarewher ebutIj ustknewIl ooked
reall
yreallyprett
y.Ifmymom washer eri
ght
nowshe' dsaykesebogwa( I'
m anat tent
ion-
seeker )
.Speakingofmymom, Ineedt ocallher
,
reportandhandmy selfinandser vemyj ai
lti
me.
Idial
ledherandshedi dn'tpickup.Iswear ,i
f
somebodywast owal ki nher eandpoi ntme
withagundemandi ngt hatIcall someoneandi f
theypickupIdi e.Iftheydon' ttheyl etmego
andIl i
ve, mymot herwoul ddefinit
elysavemy
l
ife.
Idi
alf
ort
hesecondt
imeandshef
inal
l
ypi
cks
up.
Mom:
Punkunas
Me:
Her
:Odi
dimal
etseeng?Shesay
sandl
aughs
Me:
Any
way
,Igotahai
rcut
.
Isayandtightl
yclosemyeyes.Idon'
teven
knowwhyI 'm evenfeel
i
ngl
ikeakidcaughtwit
h
thei
rhanddeepi nasugarj
ar.I
'm gr
ownf or
heavensake.
Her
:WarengBoi
kokobet
soRemofi
l
we
Motl
habane?
(Whatdi
dyouj
ustsay
...
)
Shesaidthi
swi
tht
hemostcal
mestt
ownI
'
ve
everhear
dhermai
ntai
n
Me:
Eyamama.Igotahai
rcut
.
Shekeptqui
tef
orl
i
ke10secondsandt
hen
exhal
ed.
Her:Gekebuakerelebatlagomponakeshul e
gothweheeheemamaonal edramaheehee
mamaonal edrama.Letlonkgopolabanake
l
onakealebolell
a.(
WhenIsayy oukidswantt
o
seemedeady ousayblahsblahmom i s
dramati
cmom i sdramatic.Youaregonnamiss
meonedayki dsItell
you)
I
fyout
hinky
ou'
veseendr
ama,
youhav
en'
tmet
mymot
her
.
Me:
Real
l
ymom?Real
l
y?
Her: Osekewar ereall
yKokobet so!Oseke
want haawar ereall
y.Ketsaagor eof edit
sese
neotlil
ekasonemof ounung.Gobot okake
i
thwal ennangwanaMant sienyanekey ego
apaabef or
eonamel etsahighhi ghy aka.(Don'
t
youdar esayr eall
yKokobet so!Don' tyoudare
sayr eall
y.Itakeityou'
redonewi ththeagenda
thatbroughtf ort
hthisphonecal l
.Itwi l
lbe
betterifIcarrymysel f
,I,
thedaught erof
Mant sienyanetogocookbef orey our aisemy
hyper t
ension)
Iwasholdinginlaughtercauseofcour
seI
couldn'
tlaughoutloud.I'
mt r
yingt
oapologi
ze
fordrai
ning7yearswor thofherhar
dworkhere.
Me:I
ntshwar
elet
lhemma(
Pleasef
orgi
veme
mom)
Her
:Gosi
ame.Gol
oki
l
einf
act
.Thebot
tom l
i
ne
i
sthati
t'
sokay.I
tiswellwi
thmyhear
tatt
he
endoft
heday.After
all
iti
swell
wit
hmysoul.
Me: I
'
llbr
ingy outhel
argestboxofchoi
ce
assort
edbi scui
tskaweekendge.(Duri
ngthe
weekendt hen..
.)
Her
:Pr
omi
se?
Me:
Iswear
.
Her:Biscuit
swon'tsolv
eanythi
ngmaratsona
keadibatla(
ButIsti
ll
wantthem).Goodby
e.
Shet
hendroppedthecal
lonmyear
.Kubi
l
aph'
emhl
abenibahlal
i

Aft
erIrecoveredfrom laughingathowdr amat
ic
mymom act uallyis,Idraggedmysel ft
othe
ki
tchentomakedi nner.Thetimewasnow
16h34.Ihaven'thadpr operfoodinawhileI
wasstarti
ngtof eelabi tsi
ck.Ideci
dedonpap
andchickendrumst icks.Ii
niti
all
ywantedto
roastt hechi ckenbutIchangedmymi ndand
boiledi twi t
hpot atoesinstead.Oldschool.
Aftermydi nnerwasdoneIpr eparedmy selft
o
takeabat h.Iwant edtosoakmy sel
fintherefor
awhi le.Bl essedi sthebosswhodeci dedto
givemeadayof ftoday.Cant hechurchplease
sayamen?Ir eall
yneededt his.Ihaven'
t
proper l
yr ecov eredfrom theexhaustionIhave
accumul ateddur i
ngtheweekendandal so,
Mondayi smyl eastfav
our i
tedayoft heweek.

Mywat erisreadyandI '

minmyt owel.Butgo
shortasengweny anamoman( Thissetupis
shortofsomet hing) .IsayasIlookatmy
bubblefil
l
edt ubandhol dmychi nasIthink.Ah
yes!Holywater .IsayasIsl ideintomysl i
ppers
andmakemywayt ot heki
tchen.Igetthereand
takeoutal ar
gegl assofwi neandl ookfora
cockscrew.Ifindi tandopenaf reshbottl
eof
redwine.Ithent akemyt hi
ngsandwal ktomy
room.MyphonebeepsasIwasabouttowalk
strai
ghti
ntomybathr
oom.Ihol
dboththewi
ne
andit'
saccompanyi
nggl
assinonehandand
takethephonewit
h.

Igetsettl
edint
omybathandpourmysel
fa
generousamountofwi
ne.It
'sat
extf
rom Muzi
,
al
ternati
vel
ysavedasMbul
aziwi
thaheart
emoji.
Him:I
'vearr
ivedsweet
heart
.Iwantedtocal
l
youbutI'
m guessi
ngyou'
resti
ll
atwork.Text
mewhenwheny ou'
refr
ee.Uyat
handway i
mina.
Idecidedt
orepl
yhim onWhatsApp.Ij
ustfel
tit
wouldbebett
erthatwaybecauseIwasalso
text
ingTumiatt
hesamet i
me.
Me:Igotahal
fdayt
oday
.Mybosswasina
goodmoodwhenhecamebackfr
om l
unch.
Ir
epli
edandgottwoti
cks.Hecameonlinea
minut
elat
er.Myhear
tdidayoungvosho.Weal
l
knowhowthattr
ansi
ti
onfrom 'Lastseenat.
..
'
to'
Onli
ne'
makesusfeel.I
'm nottheonlyone
andIknowthi
sforafact
.

Him:
Heprobabl
ygotgoodheadf
rom wher
ever
hewentf
orl
eyolunch
Me:
Hai
bo!
Il
aughed.
Me:Thi
sismybosswe'
retal
kingabouther
e.
Whohappenst
oalsobeanolderman.
Him:Hawu.Kant
ikt
hiwaol
dermendon'
tget
head?
Thismanisnut
sandIcan'
tbel
i
evewe'
ret
alki
ng
aboutt
his.
Me:I
'
m of
fi
cial
lyt
ermi
nat
ingt
hisconv
ersat
ion
wi
thi
mmediateeff
ect
.
Him:I
singi
sisakhosiy
angisi
ndaminaso.
.
Oksal
ayo(YouEngli
shisheav
yso.
..
)
Me:
Oksal
ayo?Real
l
y?Honest
ly!
?
Hi
m:Weesisi
,i
skhat
hiseEngl
i
shsphel
engo12
l
aekhay
a.
Ican'
twit
hhi
m.Hecal l
smewhileI
'm sti
l
l
tr
yingt
oputandassemblet
oget
heraclapback.

Me:
Hey
.
Isaywhi
l
est
il
ll
aughi
ng
Hi
m:I
tfi
l
lsmyhear
ttoheary
oul
aughy
az.
Me:
Ist
hatwhyy
oucal
l
ed?
Hi
m:Ofcour
sey
es.Howwasy
ourday
?
Mine:
Itwasf
ine.Ex
ceptfort
hescoldi
ngIgot
f
rom mymom forgett
ingahair
cut
.
Hi
m:Howol
dar
eyoukonj
e?
Me:23.I
t'
sal
ongst
oryf
oranot
herday
.Don'
t
ask.
Hi
m:Okay
(Hel
aughssof
tl
y).Letmeatl
east
seey
ouke?
Me:
What
'si
nitf
orme?
Hi
m: Areyouawaret
hatyouwon'tdi
eifyoul
et
t
hingssli
dewit
houtt
ryi
ngtonegoti
ate?
Me:
Oksal
ayo
HelaughsandIsmil
e.Maki
nghi
mlaughi
smy
f
avouri
tethi
ngtbh.
Hi
m:Okay
.Howabout
..aweekendaway
?
Iwasscaredtosayy
esbutIl
ovedt
heideaof
spendi
nganentir
eweekendwi
thhi
m soIsai
d
yesanyway.

Iendedforwardinghim all t
hephot osThabo
tookofmeandhecoul dn'tbel
ievehisey es
j
udgingfrom t
hemul ti
pletextshewassendi ng
me.Hesai dIl
ookf reakishlydiff
erent.Inagood
way.Wellaccordingtohi m.ItoldhimI 'm never
growingmyhai ragain,testi
ngthewat er
sand
hesai dIshoul dn' tv ele.I'vebeent oldthatI 'm
beautifulinshor thai r(Whi chwasal soal ong
ti
meago)buthear inghi m sayi tisadif ferent
kindofhi gh.Thewat erst ar t
edf eeli
ngr eally
coldandIwashungr yt oosoIgotout ,lotioned
andwentt oeat .Idon' tli
kehotf oodsoIdi dn't
evenputi tint hemi crowav e.Iwason
What sAppasIat eandt hef i
rststatusupdat e
wasMuzi 's.Isawbef oreact uallyv i
ewingi tt hat
hehadpost edoneoft hepi cturesIhadsentt o
him.Myhear tli
t erallyf orgotithadt obeatf ora
second.If inallyopenedi tandt hecapt ionr ead"
Mr sKhumal o(Pendi ng) .Nt okazi,There'sa
feeli
ngIgetf rom y ou, thatnoot herwomancan
evertrigger."
DidInotmelt?Noamountofdoubt( WhatsApp
stat
ussetti
ngscauseIcouldbetheonlyone
seei
ngt hi
s)wasgoingtostandbetweenme
andmyhappi nessri
ghtnow.Icaredmore
aboutthecapti
onthantheactual
post.
Irepli
edwithaheartemojiandhesentmea
screenshotofhi
sbrotherreplyi
ngtotheupdate
saying"Bri
ngherhomef orthebraaibafo"and
said"Youkeen?"
.IsMuzi actual
lyaski
ngmet o
comemeethi sfamily?

Unedi
ted.
I
nser
t7.(
UNEDITED.Apol
ogi
esi
faut
ocor
rect
di
dmedirt
y).

Meethi sf amily?I'
m startingtofeel
overwhel medbyal lofthis.I'
mf al
li
nginl ove
withthismanbutIf eelli
ket hi
st r
ainismov i
ng
apaceI 'm notr eadyfor.Iwantt ogett oknow
himf i
rst.Imagi neifIchangemymi ndandhi s
familyalreadyl i
kesme?That ,t
hatwoul dwould
beadi sast eranditwoul dbr eakmyhear tas
well.Ont heot herhand, Ialsodon'twantt o
disappointhi m.Butno, ifmydeci sionofbeing
mor ecautiouswi l
lchasehim awaythenI'
ll
acceptandacknowl edgethathewasn'tmeant
formei nthef i
rstplace.I
'
veendedr el
ati
onshi
ps
j
ustbecauseIf el
tli
keIwasbei ngputunder
pressure.Thiswoul dn'
tbethefir
st.

Ifi
nall
ygainthecouragetosubt
lyr
eplyt
ohis
text
,caref
ulnottoturnhi
m downharshl
y.
Me:
Wheni
sit
?
Me:
Thebr
aai
Hi
m: 3weeksfrom now.It
'smoreofaget
t
ogetherty
pavibe.Andyouneedn'
tworr
yabout
myfamilyover
whelmingyou.
Phew!ForsomereasonIthoughti
twasthi
s
weekend.Letmejustgowitht
hefl
owand
pr
eparetolandwherevert
hewindwil
lbl
owme.
Me:Alr
ight
.It
houghti
twast
hiscomi
ng
weekend
Him:IthoughtI'
dtol
dyouthatyouandIare
goingawaythisweekend.Haveyouchanged
yourmind?
Me:
Youdi
dn'
ttel
lmewhenaker
.
Hi
m:Okay
.Ij
ustdi
d.
Thi
sman!
Me:That
'sshor
tnot
ice.Ihav
eababyshowert
o
pl
an.
Him:Tel
lyourfr
iendshe'l
lhaveitonl
ywhen
you'
rebackfr
om y ourbaecat
ion.
Il
aughandshakemyhead.
Me:Kahlekahl
ewhodoy
out
hinky
ouar
e
Khumalo?
Hi
m: Thef
utur
eheadoft
hehousey
ou'
l
lsoon
becall
i
ngyour
s.
I
'
m speechl
ess.
Me:
Don'
tst
art
.
Him:I
fthi
sisyourideaofmestar
ti
ngt
henI
'
m
begi
nni
ngtofeelsorryf
oryou.
Yoh!Thet
urbul
encei
nmyheart
!!Ican'
t.I
deci
detoswif
tl
ychanget
het
opic.
Me:Mciini
t'
snotafri
endt
hatI
'
m planni
nga
babyshowerfor
.I'
mrunni
ngabusi
nessher
e.
Hi
m:You'
rei
ntoev
ent
spl
anni
ng?
Me:
Andmanagementy
es.
Him:I
mpr
essi
ve!I
'
m pr
oudofy
oumommy
shar
k.
Idon'tknowwhyt hatjustmadetakemy
sel
f
mor eseri
ous.Ibarel
yknowt hi
smanbuthi
s
opini
onmeanst hewor l
dtome.
Me:
Thanky
ou.
Isayandgi
ggl
e.
Him:Ij
ustwi
shitwassetforanot
herdat
e.
Can'
tyoudel
egateorsomethi
ng?
Me:Unfor
tunatel
ynot.Mysist
eri
snotusedto
wor
kingallbyhersel
fIdon'
twantt
ostr
ainher
.
Him: Ican'tsayI
'
m notdi sappoi
ntedbutI'
m
proudoft hegoal-gett
erandthegoal-
diggerI
sensei nyou.Ngicelaumsebenzibandla.
(Pleasehireme)
Il
augh!
Me:Speaki
ngofwhich,
whatdoy
oudof
ora
l
iv
ingMuzikay
ise?
Hi
m:Const
ruct
ionbaby
.
Me:
Mindt
ell
i
ngmemor
e?
Hi
m: Comewi t
hmet hisweekendandf
indout
f
oryoursel
f.I
'
llf
etchyou?
Me:Don'tcor
nermecausewe'
veal
ready
spokenaboutthi
s.
Hi
m: Okaaay.I
twasworthashot.Ihavea
pr
oposalIneedtohav
eal ookathere
st
handwasam.Ilovet
alki
ngtoyoubutIalso
needt
omakemoneyt
omar
ryy
ou.
Ni
na!
Me:
Okay
.Ul
alekahl
e.
Hi
m:Ngi
yak'
thanda.
Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
.

Dayswentbywi thmegoi ngt owor k,comi ng

backtospeakt oYi seandr epeati
ngt i
lli
twas
Fri
day.Mybosswasn' tcomi ngintodaysoI
wasgonnat akemychancesandgi vemy selfa
dayoff.Ireall
ymi ssmymot herandIdon' tfeel
okayknowi ngshe' smadordi sappointedbyme
ormyact i
ons.Iwokeupi nt hemor ni
ngand
tookoutmysmal lestsuitcaset opack.Iputi n
j
ustsweat pants,t-shir
tsandhoodi esbecauseI
wasplanni ngonbei ngnot hingbutcomf ortable
thi
sweekend.Il eftitopenandwentt oshower
becauseIst il
lneededt oputmyt oil
etri
esi n
ther
eaf t
ert hat.Formyout fi
tfort
oday, Iopt ed
forplai
nbl ackjeans,awhi tehoodieandbl ack
ankleairforcesneakersbecausei twasabi t
chil
lytodayandi tlookedlikeitwasaboutt o
rai
n.Iwaswi ll
i
ngr i
skitbecausehomei slike20
minsawaywi t
htaxidriv
erwhodoesn' thav ea
deathwi sh.Iwantedt oslaywi t
hmyhai rcutbut
Ineededmywi gforwarmt h.Itookmy
cell
phoneandpul l
edmysui tcaseout.

AsIwasout sidemyapar tmenttryingtolock,

mynei ghborcameoutofhi sroom wi t
hhi sbi
n
bag.I'
m seeinghi mtoplessforthesecondt ime
thi
sweekandI '
m notcomf ort
ablewithit
.He's
generall
yani cehumanbei ngandhegr eetsme
fi
rsteachtimeheseesmebutheneedst o
pract
icepubl i
cdecency.Myey eslandedonhi s
abswhenhecameoutsoIi mmedi at
elyl
ooked
away ,
andt ookoutmykeyf r
om thedoor.
Hi
m:Heynei
ghbor
Me:
Hi.
Isai
d,try
ingkeepmyey
esawayf
rom pl
ayi
ngi
n
hisdi
recti
on.
Hi
m:Goi
nghome?
Me:
Yeah
Me: Yeahactuall
y!Isayandtr
ytogetdownthe
stair
s.Hequickenst ot
akemybagandsay s
"Please.Nkombelakukupfuna"(
Letmehelp
you).I'
mr eal
lyuncomfort
abl
ewithwalki
ngwit
h
himi njusthi
sshorts.
Iall
owhi mt ot
akeitandwalkinf
rontofhim.
Wegett ot
heentranceandIbidt
hesecurit
y
womangoodby e.Ther
e'sahugebinj
ust
outsideourbui
ldingsohethr
owshistrashin
therefrom adi
stanceandI'
m sav
edbyacal l
from Muzi.
Ianswerimpulsi
velyandletoutasoft"Baby"
hopingtocastmynei ghboraway.Isi
l
entlysay
thankyoutohim hopinghecanreadmyl ips
andt
akemycasef
rom hi
m.
Muzi
:You'
vej
ustmademywhol
eweek.
WhatIhavedone?Il
aughandcont
inuewi
tht
he
conv
ersat
ionnonet
hel
ess
Me:
Unj
ani
?(Howar
eyou?
Hi
m:Ngi
yaphi
l
a.Howar
eyou?
Him agai
n:Al
readyonyourwayt
oworkat
06h00?Ineedtohaveawordwit
hyourboss.
I
'
m guessi
nghecanheart
hecar
shoot
ingon
t
heroad.
Me:I
'
m act
ual
l
yonmywayt
othet
axi
rank.I
'
m
onmywayhome.
Hi
m:Mi
ssi
ngy
ourmom?
Me:
Yeaht
hatandt
hebabyshower
.
Him:Youcoul
d'v
etol
dme.Iwoul
d'
veor
gani
zed
t
ranspor
tfory
ou.
Me:
I'
mfi
net
hanks.Let
'st
alkwhenIgett
othe
rankcauseanythi
ngcanhappeninthese
street
sify
ou'r
ecarel
esswithyourphone.
Hi
m:Besaf
e.

Igott hetotherankandt axiwasshortofone

person.Inthefront.Myphobi af
oradv anced
taximat hemati
cswasnotgonnageti nt heway
ofmeget ti
nghomeear lyasIantici
pated.I
cli
mbedi nandittookof f.Thecounti
ngwasn' t
asbadasIt hought.Act uall
ynoletmest op
beingmodest .Icrucifi
edi tandaskedifthere'
s
anybodywho' sshor tofchange.Ev er
ybodywas
sortedsoIcont i
nuedt r
yingtofi
ndMuzi on
Instagram wit
hnol ucksoIputi nmyear phones
andl i
stenedtoAmapi ano.

Igothomeandbattl
edbetweenknocki
ngand
l
etti
ngmysel
finbecauseIhavet
hekeyI
knockedi
nst
ead.Mynephewscreamed" Geol
e
mot hotsena"(
Enterify
ou'r
ehuman)andi t
soundedl i
keitwascomi ngfrom t
heli
ving
room.He' s11byt heway.Ienter
edandhe
camer unningtomei nhisshortSpi
derman
pyjamaswhi chlookednew.Ihuggedand
brushedhishead.
Me:Kemangagoker
il
englet
wadi
(Whocutyou
abal
d?)Isayandl
augh.Hesmil
esandsay
s
"
Mxaaaaaa"
Me:
Aren'
tyoucol
d?
Him: Spidermandoesn'tgetcold.Ir
oll
edmy
eyes,laughedandt ol
dhimt otakemysui t
case
tomybedr oom.Ifoll
owedhim downt he
passage.Heent eredinmyr oom andIwent
str
aightt othemainbedroom.Iopenedt hedoo,
j
umpedont opoftheblanketsandscreamed
"Mommy yy
y!!
".Mymom t ookouthersleepy
headandgav emet hewidestsmi l
e
Her
:Hawubaby
!Gor
engosabuwegor
eo
tsel
eng?(Whydidn'
tyoumenti
onthatyou'
reon
theway?).Shesaysassheembracesandhugs
me,givi
ngmecount l
esski
ssesallov
ermyf ace.
Iwasenjoyingbei
ngabigbaby.
Me:
Iwant
edt
osur
pri
sey
ou.
Her
:Al
ri
ght
.Di
biscui
ttsakadi
kae?
Shit!Il
ookatherandpursemyl
i
pst
oget
her
,
tr
yingtohardnottolaugh.
Her:
Wenalegenkat
senaI
CUgompienookase
t
li
selemageu!Shesay
sandcl
apsonce!
Mymom' sdramahasnoful
lstop.Andwhat
ki
ll
smemosti st
hatthet
swanawomani nher
comesouteachti
meshefeelsli
kethepedi
makot
iistoosof
t.
Me:
Ket
lay
agodi
rekaaot
lhemma.Ipr
omi
se.
Her:I
'
m heari
ngthi
sforthesecondti
me.
Ntswelekakamoraoyegobonangwanenole
yenaotli
l
e.(
Getoutofmyr oom andgoseey
our
si
stershe'
sal
soher
e).Shesay
sandpul
l
sher
bl
anket.
Me:
Mar
amama
Her
:Et
swaRemof
il
we.
..
Me:Soaobat
legobonat
hlogoy
ame?
(Soy
ou
don'
twantt
oseemyhead)
Her:Etswaletl
hogoyagagoemaswe
hl
e(Pleasegetoutwi
thyourugl
yhead)

Ikisshercheekf astandr unout.Igettomy

sister'
sroom andknock.Shedoesn' tanswer .
Whyi sev eryonestil
l asleepat07h30i nt he
mor ning?Oh.I t'
sthiscosyandcuddl ef r
iendl
y
weat her.Iknockagai nandshesay s
"Gomol emoakemodi moodungt sadi gamet sa
gagongwanakewena! "
(Gomol emoI 'm notin
themoodf ory oursil
lygameschi ld!
).Iwalkin
asshe' saboutt oyell f
urther.Sheseesmeand
blushes.
Her
:Heyy
ou
Me:Mashata!
!(Noi
se!
!)Isayandpoi
ntmyhead
atherandsmil
e.
Her:
Erenggl
owont
hebabysi
s?(
Lookaty
our
gl
ow)
Ibl
ushandcl
osebot
hmyey
eswi
thmypal
ms.
Shesit
supandt apst
heot
hersi
deofherbed,
i
ndicat
ingt
hatIshoul
dcomeandsi
tbesideher
.
Igoandsi
tont
opofmyonel
egandhangt
he
other
.
Her:Youlookhappyman.Sheandsay
s
squeezesmycheek.
Isof
tl
ysl
apherhandof
fofme.Shel
aughs.
Me:
WhatcanIsay
?
Isayt
hisbr
ushi
ngmychinwit
hmyt humband
i
ndexfi
nger
.Thi
sinourst
reet
sindi
catesaman.
Her
:Omaaka!(
Youl
i
e).Shesay
sandhi
tsmy
chestwi
thbackofherhand.
Her
:Who?When?Ha-
ha-
how!
?
Me:
ArgI'
l
ltel
lyoual
labouthi
mthi
sweekend.
Wehav
ewor ktodo.
Her
:Atl
eastshowmeapi
ctur
ege.
Me:Woul dyourelax?Lookifitwasn'
tforthi
s
babyshowerIwoul dbesomewher eataplace
onl
yheknows, sippingcockt
ail
sinabikini
.
Manjeeeee
Isayandr
oll
myey
es
Her:Yout ur
neddownabaecat i
onbecause
babyshowernyanae!?(Youturneddowna
baecationbecauseofthi
sli
ttl
ebabyshower !
?).
Shesay sanddropsherjaw.Iraisemy
shouldersanddropthem.
Heragain:Ift
hismani scapabl
emaki ngglow
l
ikethi
st henIsuggestyoucall
him andtakehis
off
er.Youst i
l
lhavethewholeday.I
'llbefi
ne.
Thi
sisnotourf
ir
stbaby
shower
.
Ilookatherandt hi
nk.Mysi sterismor ethan
capableofplanni ngthiseventbyherselftobe
honest.I'
mjustasuckerf orperfect
ion.Inever
feelsati
sfi
edunl essI'veseenandov erlooked
everyt
hing.May beIshoul dgo.Noman.She' s
actuall
yveryri
ght .Att hi
spointIdon'tknowif
i
t'sthehoeinmet r
yingtofindreasonst obein
aman' sarmsorshei ndeedhasapoi nt.I'
mf i
ne
withbothsoIt akeoutmyphoneanddi alhis
number .
..

Nosi
phoNdl
ovu.Thanky
ouf
ort
he100MBs.

I
nser
t8.(
Iwasn'
tmeani
ngtoposttodayduet
o
l
ackoft
imehencei
t'
sshor
t.Apol
ogies)

Myhear
trat
ewasbeginni
ngt
ori
seasIwai
ted
f
orhi
mt opi
ckup.Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
.
Me:He'
snotpi
cki
ngup.Irai
sedmyshoulder
s
anddroppedt
hem asIt
oldKgant
shot
his.
Her
:He-
ehl
ekagape(
Not
ryagai
n)
Heban.Thisperso.Idi
dexactl
yasshe
suggest
ed.Thel i
newasbusy.Hecalledme
backasIwasaboutt otel
lKgantshothatI
'
m
giv
ingup.Iputhim onl
oudspeaker.
Hi
m:Bambol
wam.
Hesai
d,soundi
ngcal
m andcol
l
ect
ed.
Kgantshoalmostscr
eamedbutimmediat
ely
puthersel
fonaleashbyhol
dinghermouth
ti
ght.
Me:Doesy
ouoffersti
l
lst
and?Isayandti
ght
ly
cl
osemyeyes,
feari
ngwhathemightsay
.
Hi
m:Of
fer
?
Me:
Theweekendaway
?
Him:You'vechangedyourmi
nd?Hesounded
exci
ted.Igi
ggleandsayyes.
Him:Iwasact
ual
l
yonmywayt
oJHBandt
he
booki
ng..
.
Me:It
'sfi
newecanal waysmakeitanot
hert
ime.
Iqui
cklyi
nter
jectandpr
eventhav
ingtohear
hi
mr ej
ectme.
Him:I'
l
lseey
oul
ater
.Hesai
danddr
oppedt
he
cal
l.

Mysi st
erscr
eamedsoloudaft
ershewassure
thathehungup.Somuchthatmymom and
Gomol emocamerunni
ngintohertoseewhat
's
goingon.
Mom:
Gor
il
eng!
?(Whati
shappeni
ng?
)
Webot hlaughedandsheshakesherhead,sai
d
"Nxa"goingbacktoherroom.Int
err
uptmy
mom f r
om everyt
hingBUThersleeporel
se
she'
sgoingt obegrumpyforthewholeday.
Gomol
emo:
Cant
het
woofy
oukeepi
tdown?
I
'
mt ryi
ngtowatchashow.Hesaidthi
sholdi
ng
t
hesidesofhi
swaistandthenlef
t.Mysi
sandI
l
ookedateachandburstouti
nlaught
er.
Her
:Banabadi
model
-C.(
Model
-Cschool
kids)
Shesay
sandcl
apsonce.
Me:
Tlogel
angwanacausey
ou'
real
soone.
Her
:ButIwasnev
erl
i
ket
his.
Her
:Anywaaaay,backtothephonecal
l
.Ohmy
Goddi
dy ouhearhisvoi
ce!?Lor
d!
Me:
Youhav
enoi
dea.
Her
:Whoi
sthi
sper
son?
Me:SomeguyImetatt
hemall
.Hisnamei
s
Muzi
kayi
seKhumal
o.He'
sfr
om KZN.
Her:
I'
vealway
swant
edt
odat
eaZul
u!Shesay
s
andmimicsacry
.
Me:
Whydi
dyoumar
ryaPedi
then?
Isayandl
augh.
Her:
Orasenokwaneseo.(
Youmeant
hatcr
ook)
.
Shesuddenl
ylooksbor
ed.
Me:
Andt
hen?
Her
:Todayi
snotaboutme.Youshoul
dbe
l
eavi
ngwena.Ori
shefetchi
ngyoufr
om her
e?
Me: Ket
lat
samay akaboma-
ten.(
I'
lll
eave
around10)
.It
'l
ltakehi
m awhil
ebeforeheget
s
here.

Wecont inuetalki
ngaboutmen, herhusband's
si
dechi ck,Gomol emo'sprogressatschool and
mom cor neri
ngt hemannextdoort ore-doher
bathroom ti
li
ngf orfree.Ispentmywhol e
mor ni
ngathomeandl iedtomymom t hatI
needt ogobackt owor kbecausemyboss
needsmeur gently.Shewassur pr
isedbecause
i
t'
st heendoft heweekandsheknowsIdon' t
got owor konweekendsbutKgant sho
advocatedformeandsheunder stoodbecause
shetrust
sherbetter
.It
ookthedumpl
ingand
beefstewIcookedfort
hefamil
yinasmall
Tupperwareandleft
.

Igottomyapar
tmentandopenedthedoor.
Xikombel
ocameoutofhisr
oom looki
ngli
kehe
wasgoingsomewher
e.
Hi
m:Hawu.Backal
ready
?
Me:Yeahsomet hingcameup.Seey oulat
er.I
f
lashedaf akesmileandlockedmydoorfrom
t
heinside.Thefir
stthi
ngIdidwast ot
akeof f
mybr a,shoesandwig.Ther el
i
ef!
Idecidedt oshoweragain,
getintomybl ack
shortpyjamapant sandasleept ee.Icaughta
gli
mpseofmysel font
hefull
-l
engt hmirrorand
admiredmyf l
atstomachandhowmysquat s
werepay ingoff.Mybuttwasget ti
ngmor eand
morer oundbyt heday.Mysisterdoesn't
understandmyobsessi onwithmybul lethole
andI '
m noteventr
yingtomakehert o.I
watchedmov ieswhileIwait
ed.Hecalledand
aler
tedmet hatheis30mi nsawayandt heti
me
wasnow13h43.Iwi shedIcouldnapbutthe
exci
t ementwasjusttoomuch.Ev erf
eltso
anxiousthatyoucan'tsl
eeporeat?

TherewasaknockonmydoorasIwasabout
tochangei ntosomet hi
ngdecent .Iprayedt hat
i
twasn' tmynei ghbor .Don'tgetmewr ong.Ilike
him butfrom adi stance.Igotoutofmy
blankiesandwal kedt othedoori nmysweet
pinksocks.Iopenedt hedoorandt herehe
stood, l
ookingal ltypesofgor geousinal lbl
ack.
Hewaswear i
ngabl ackri
ppedj ean,along
sleevedt-shirtwhi chhepul leduphisel bows
andsneaker s.DidIment i
ont hatIl
ov eaman
withawat ch?Hel ookedlikehehadj ustgot ten
af r
eshhai rcut.iCleanlendodabaf ethu.His
eyeslandedonmyt hi
ghs.Hel ookedupt o
me,smi ledandbi thislowerlip.Hepul l
edmeby
mywai stintohisarmsandki ssedmeashe
enteredandcl osedthedoorwi thhisf ootwi th
hi
sf oot .Hishandswer eslowlymov ingt owards
mybut tasifhewasl ookingtoseei tIwi ll
pull
back.Idi dn't
.Iwantedhi mt otouchmet here.
Hedi dandsqueezedmyass.I 'v
enev erhada
ki
sst hisheat ed.Igi
ggledi nhismout h, he
smiled, andsof t
lysaid"Sawubona"wi thourl i
ps
sti
l
l touching.Wheew!Whatagr eet
ing!

Unedi
ted.
Inser
t9.(WARNI
NG: Admini
snotgoingtopost
anyinser
ttomor
row.Hencetheseconsecut
ive
onestoday!
!)

Hi
m:Sawubona
Hest
il
lhadhi
ssof
tli
psonmi
ne.
Me:
Hey
.Webot
hsmi
l
ed.
Heheldbothmyhandswi theachofhisandwe
l
ockedfinger
s.If
eltlikehi
seyeswer emagneti
c
becauseIshoul
d'
vel ookedanywhereelse
exceptf
ordir
ectl
yint hem bynow.Ihonestl
y
cannotl
ookMuzikay i
zeintheeyefortoolong.
Hemakesmener vous.
Hi
m:Unj
ani
?
Me: Ngiy
aphi l
aZikode.Hesmi ledwi t
hhis
mout hclosed,l
ookeddownandcl osedhiseyes
forasecond.Hel ookedpr oudofhi mself
.We
werehav ingthi
sconv ersati
onwhi lehewas
slowlypushingmet owar dst heotherendoft he
room.Iwaswal ki
nginr everse.Ikeptlooking
behindmesoIdon' tt
r i
pintoany thing.
Hi
m:Bukami
na.(
Lookatme)
Me:
Idon'
twantt
otr
ipandf
all
.
Him:Iwon'tl
etyou.Hi
sfacechangedfr
om
bei
ngloveydoveytosuddenl
yseri
ous.We'
reno
l
ongert alki
ngaboutmyf allingint hisr oom
any mor e.Ifel
tmybackagai nstt hewal landhe
raisedourl ockedhandsandpr essedt hem on
thewal l abovemyhead.Theweat herwaski nda
coldbutnoti nBet so'swor ld.Itwasscor ching
hott hisside.Ibeganbur ningup.It ri
edt oopen
mymout ht ospeakbuthej ustl ookedatme
withhi sbeaut if
ulsmi leandsai d" ssshh" .He
l
ookedatmeandsl owl y, andImeansl owl y
l
eanedi nt okissme.Thi smanwasi nt hemost
calmestf ormI '
veev erseenhi mi nandIwas
j
umpi shinglynervous.Iwassur eofi t.Isl i
ghtl
y
par t
edmyl ipsandgotr eadyt or eceivehi sbut
shiftedhi sfaceandki ssedt hesi deofmyl i
ps
i
nst eadandwentdownt omyneck.Yoh!He
cont i
nuedki ssingitasIbentmyheadt othe
sidet oexpandhi swor kingsur facear ea.Nigga
wentdownandki ssedmyar m andwentdown
withi t
.Myey eswer et ight l
yshutashewas
doingt his.Whenhegott omywr ist,
hepaused.
Iopenedmyey esandl ookeddownt oseewhat
hewasdoi ng.Hesmi l
edatme.Ismi l
edback
andl ookedaway .Heki ssedmyl owerleftt
high.
Igaspedf orai randt i
ght lyclosedmyey es
agai n.Hecont inuedpl antingwetki ssescomi ng
backup.Whenhegott owher emyshor tbegan,
pausedagai n.Ilookeddownathi m wit
hone
eyecl osedandasl i
ghtsmi l
e.Hel aughedand
kissedr i
ghtt hi
ghonceandqui cklygotupand
saidwehav et ogo, het hent urnedandwal ked
towar dsthedoor .Hegott here,openedand
heldi tandlookedbackatmeandsai d"Uzong
tholaemot weni neh?".Hebi thisupperl i
pand
smi ledatthesamet i
me.Inoddedqui cklyand
hel aughedsof tlyandl eft.

WHATTHEFUCKJUSTHAPPENED!
?

Aft
erIcat
chmybr eat
h,Ihol
dmychestand
composemysel
f.Iwon'tbedef
eat
edbyaman.
Iwalkedtomyr oom andt ookofmypy jamas.I
hadtochanget hi
sunder wearbecauseIrai
ned
onit.IdidwhatIhadt odoandopenedmy
suit
casetopackpr operl
yforthevacay.I
packedmyt oi
letr
iesproperl
yandzippedmy
vanit
ybag.AsIwasl ookingthroughmy
wardrobe,myphonebeepedandi twashim.I
openedthetextandr ead:

"
Nothi
ngthesedaysl
astsforev
er.Myl
ovewil
l
.
What'
sgonnakeepustogether
?Mylovewi
ll
.

P.
S: Youonlyneedyourt
oilet
rybagforthis
weekend.Comedownal readyorelseuzo
i
gibelaisi
hambalemoto"(You'
ll
getint
ot hi
scar
whil
ei t
'sonmotion)
.

Guy
s!
Idressedupi nabl acksee-thr
oughbody
suit
(Longsleev ed)withabralett
eonthei nsi
de.
Iputonat ightbelowt hekneeblackskir
twi t
h
anelasti
cwai st.Iputbackonmysneaker sand
combedmywi g.Ithenputonmascar aandr ed
l
ipsti
ck.AsIwasst il
lputti
ngonmyl i
pstick
Muzi cal
led.Notsopat i
entarewe?Ipickedup.
Him: Mylov
e.Il
oveyou.Sosomuchbutdon'
t.
Don'tmakemecomeupt her
ebecause
kuzoshuba(Thi
ngsaregonnagetugl
y).
Igi
ggledandpr omi sedhimt hatI'
m comi ng.I
putonmyMi dnightcolognecauseIt rustitto
speakformebef oreIcanev enopenmymout h.
Thisist
heper fumeIwearwhenIt agalongt o
MrMoko' smeet ings.Itookmyhandbagand
shovedmyt oil
etrybagi nthere,my
charger
(becausewedon' tusethesamephone.
Heusest helatesthotplatei
Phone andIuse
agalaxyS10+), wipes,andsomemi nt.
Igett
ot hecarandheopenedt
hedoorf
orme
fr
om theinsi
de.
Me:
I'
m her
enow.Ar
eyouhappy
?
Helooksatme,openshismouthtospeakbut
endsupmakinga"Ihe!
!"soundi
ndisbel
i
ef.I
rai
semyhandsandask
Me:
What
?
Him:
Uthiyini
?(You'
resayi
ngwhat?)I
'm guessi
ng
you'
retel
l
ingy our
selft
hatuqcedil
eukuqcoka
kastyl
ese? (
..
you'
redonedressi
nginthis
manner)
Me:
Hawu.
Isayandl
ookatmysel
f.
Him:Kii
ngyeoi aper
ingsthandwasam?He
sayswit
hhisbrokenpediandIlaugh.He'
s
ser
iousl
yshocked!
"
Hai
bo!
!"Hesay
sandt
urnst
ohi
sbackseat
,
pull
shissweat
erandsay
s"Mi
!"whi
chmeans
'
take'
I'
m notweari
ngthat
.Isayandlookout
side.I
t'
s
nowsilenti
nthecar
.I'
m evenafr
aidl
ookback
athim.Ikeepmyheadgluedoutsi
de.
Hi
m:Weesi
si.
.
Ialmostburstoutinlaught
erbutIhol
diti
nand
pursemyl i
psverytightl
ysohedoesn'
tseethat
I'
m quart
ertolaughing.
Imanaget osendt
helaught
erbacktowent
whereitcameshooti
ngfrom andl
ookathi
m,
keepi
ngaser i
ousf
ace.
Me:
Mbul
azi
.
Hi
m:St
handwaswam
Me:
Mnt
ungwa
Noneofusi
swi
l
li
ngt
oletgooft
hei
rser
ious
f
ace.
Hi
m:Bambol
wam
Me:
Zikode
Healmostsmi
l
edbuthesnappedoutofi
tand
t
hreat
enedmewit
hhiseyes.
Hi
m:Mf
az'
wam
Me:
I'
m notwear
ingt
his.
Isayandsl
owl
yshakemyhead,
looki
ngathi
s
hoodi
e
Him: Wanttoseeat ri
ck?Hesay s.Stil
l
thr
eateningme.Ir ememberwhatt ranspi
redi
n
myr oom earl
ierandIquickl
ycomebackt omy
senses,say"Okayokay!"andtakeit.
Hekeepshi sseri
ousf aceandstartsthecar
andtakesoff.I'
m sti
llput
ti
ngonmysul king
faceti
llheputsonasongbyAubr eyQwana
whichbasicall
ysays"Seng'zengaqony wa
ngakit
hi"andsmi l
estomeandf ocusesbackon
theroad,dri
vi
ngwi thonehandandt heputt
ing
theotheronmyt high.I'
m notfr
om hi shoodas
thesongsuggest sbutitwasmor ethanenough
t
omakemesmi
l
e,gi
ggl
eandshakemyhead.
Him:Bytheway ,we'
renolongergoi ngtot
he
Maldi
vesbecausesomebodyher ecannotmake
uphermind,whichmeansal lbookingshadto
becancel
led.Yousaidyouwant edt oknow
whatIdo?Masiyeke!(Let
'sgot hen)
Thi
smani
shonest
lygoi
ngt
obet
hedeat
hof
me!

UNEDI
TED
I
nsert10.(UNEDI
TED.NEVERMI
NDTHE
ERRORSI FANY.)

Thet r
iptohishousewasl ong.Ikeptfal
l
ing
asl
eepont heroad.Whenwest oppedatsome
Enginegaragef orgasandsomesnackshe
showedmepi cturesofmyselfsl
eepingi
nthe
car.Ifoundthem cutesoIpostedthem.Masedi
askedwho' scarI'm sl eepi nginandwhyam I
wear ingwhatl ooksl ikeaman' shoodi e.I
bluetickedherandbl ockedherf rom v iewingmy
status.Ihat erel
igiousl ynosypeopl e.Ijustdon't
under standwhyy ou'ddedi catesomuchofy our
ti
met ost udyotherhumanbei ngswher easy ou
couldbedoi ngsomet hingusef ullikereadi ngor
playingspor t.Muz ilef tmei nthecarandwent
tointot heshopt ogetussomesnacksf orthe
road.Iwasst art
ingt of eelirri
tatedandmoody
becauseIhat etrav ell
ingl ongdi stances.He
appar entl
yf oundt his" ador able"andI '
m quot ing.
Ifyoucoul dhaveahumanbei ngasahobbyI
woul dsur elybeMuzi 's.

Iendedupf al
l
ingasl
eepagai nandaf t
erawhile
hewokemeupandsai d"We' r
eher e
sthandwasami)whil
eunbucklinghisseatbel
t
andadjusti
nghiscarseat.Iwokeupandl ooked
around.Iwasmetbyabl ackwal l
soIf i
gured
wewer emaybealreadyi
nhisgar age.Hecame
toopenmydoorandIgotout .Ilookedinawe
andaskedwhyhehasbl ackpaintinhere.Does
thi
sniggacol
lectGermancarsforlivi
ng?
Him:What?Hesay
sandr
aiseshi
sshoul
der
sas
helockshi
scar
.
Hi
m:Bl
acki
sasaf
ecol
or.
Me:Argt
ruebutnotasapaint
.Thi
slooksl
ike
somewhereagreatwi
tchwoul
dbecomf or
tabl
e
l
ivi
ngi
n.
Hel aughsandhugsmef rom behi
ndasIwal k
aroundslowl yinhisgarage.Wewal ktogether
i
nt hisposit
ionuntilIcomeacr ossadeepr ed
Jeepwr anglerwith"GGK584GP"r egi
strat
ion
number .Idon'tknowwhatcaughtmyat tenti
on
withthiscarinparticul
arbutdecidetotease
hi
m abouti t
Me:
Ilov
ethi
sone.I
twoul
dsui
tme.
Hi
m:Usho?(
Yout
hink?
)Hesay
sandl
aughs.
Hehasabeauti
ful
laught
erandhi
sdi
mpl
eis
notmaki
ngthi
ngseasier
.
Il
aught
ooandsayy
es.
Hi
m:I
'
llgety
ouy
our
s.
Me:Iwantt
hisonecausei
twaspr
e-ownedby
you.
Him: Don'ty ouwantt ogetintomycomf ortabl
e
clothesinstead?Youmustbef eel i
ngcold.He
saysandki ssesthebackofneckandt hatal one
call
supont hegodsofgoosebumpsal lovermy
body .Het urnsmear oundandki ssesmeonmy
l
ips.Hehashi shandsonmycur vesandIcan
feelmyt ightskirtmov i
ngup.Ial lowhim.Thi s
hasnev erf eltr
ightwit
hev ery
bodyI '
vebeen
withbutwi t
hhi mit'
sdiff
erent.Ifwe'resitt
ing
closetoeachot herwithouthimt ouchingmeI
feelli
kehedoesn' tl
ovemeashesay shedoes
anymor e.Itfeelssogoodandi tfeelssor i
ght .
Hel if
tsmeandcont i
nueskissingmewi thmy
l
egswr appedaroundhi swaist.Hewal kswith
mei nt
ot hehouseandoncewe' reinheputsme
onthediningtable.Heattemptst olaymedown
butIslowlypushhi m awaywithmyr i
ghthand,
theotherwasbehi ndhisupperar m.Icould
l
iter
all
yfeelhisveinsaroundthisarea.
Me: Ineedashower .Isayandgetoffthetabl
e.
Hesmi lesandsay s"Yourwi
shismy
command. "Het akesmyhandandIf oll
owhi m
upthest ai
rs.Ihonest l
ydon'
tli
keal
l t
heblack
I'
m seeinginthishouse.Hisli
ghtgreycurt
ains
aretheonlythingt hatseemstobetryi
ngto
l
ivenupt hi
spl ace.
Me:Yourhousehonest
lyl
ooksl
i
keaf
ancy
dungeon.
Helaughsandsay s"I
fyouhat ethi
spaintso
muchy oucanalwayschangei tatyourown
ti
me.Butpleaseleav
emyst udyalone.That'
sal
l
Iask"
.Idon'
tknowwhyt hi
smademef eelso
wantedandsecure.Wekeptwal kingtil
lwegot
towhatl
ooksli
ket
hemai nbedr
oom.It
'sal
so
nodif
fer
entt
otherestoft
hehouse.Hi
sbulbs
arev
erydim.
Me:
Isi
tal
way
sli
ket
hisi
nher
e?
Hi
m:Likewhat
?Hehasacur
iousl
ookonhi
s
f
ace.
Me:Thi
sdar
k.IsayandIl
ookar
ound.Hecl
aps
hi
shandst
hreeti
mesandbulbt
urnsver
ybr
ight
.
Him: Isitokaynow?Hesay s,l
ooki ngdownand
smilingtome.Hecomescl oserandIal r
eady
knowwhathewant s.Muzi'sear sarej ustthere
fordecor ati
ontobehonest .Henev erlistens.
Hepul lsmei ntohisar msandhashi swaywi th
mymout h.Thekissget ssoheat edthatIno
l
ongerknowwhatt odowi thmy self
.Idon' t
knowwher etotouchhi m.Het akesof fthe
hoodi efrom meandi tcomesoutwi thmywi g.
I'
ml uckyt hatmyhai risingoodcondi tion
otherwiseIwoul d'veinsist
edIt akei toffmy sel
f.
Hepacksmyl ipsandsay s"You'resobeautiful
yaz."Idon'
tknowi fhegenui nel
ymeantt hi
sor
hewant edtocomf or
tmeandmakesur eIdon't
feelembarrassedbecausehet ookofmywi g.I
takeofhist-shir
tbecauset hat'
stheonlything
thatmadel ogicalsenseatthatmoment .He
continuessuckingonmyl ips.Ibreakthekiss
andpushhi m awaygent l
y.
Me:
Muzi
I..
Isayandpause,
wit
hmyhandsst
il
lonhi
sbar
e
chest
Hi
m:Di
dIdosomet
hingwr
ong?
Hesays,suddenl
yfi
ll
edwithwor
ryinhi
seyes
whi
chnowl ookedabitr
ed.Il
ookeddownand
hecuppedmychi nandr
aisemyfacesohecan
l
ookmei ntheeye.
Him:I
'
m sorr
ylove.I'
mr eal
lysorry.I
t'
stoosoon
andI
'l
lunder
standifyou'r
enoty etready
.Okay?
Il
ookawayandhebr ingsmyf acebacki nhi
s
di
rect
ion.Hel ooksatmeandsays"Okay?"
Looki
ngf orconfir
mati
ont
hatI'
veheardand
under
stoodhi m.
Me:It
'snott
hat
.It
'
sjust
..
.I'
m st
il
l.
..I
'
m not
..
.I
hav
en't.
..
Him:Youhav en'
t.
..
???Heasksandt helookon
hisf
aceisshouting"Youhaven'twhat
woman! ?
".I
ttakes3secondsf orwhatIsai
dto
regi
steri
nhisbrainandhepopshi seyes.
Him:Youmean?You'
rest
il
l?Youhav
en'
t?
You'
reavi
rgi
n?
Ipur
semyli
psinembarr
assmentandnodmy
headsl
owl
y,t
hreet
imes.
Hedr opshi
sjawandhol
dsmyf acewi
thboth
ofhishandsandsi
ncer
elysay
s"Whydidn'
tyou
tel
lme! ?
"
"Idon'
tknow"
,Isay,i
nalmostawhisper.He
whisper
sbackandsay s"
BabyI'
mterriblysor
ry"
andhugsme, t
ight
.He'spr
obabl
ythinkingthatI
don'twanttodot his.That'
swher ehe's
completelywrong.Iwasj ustgivinghim aheads
upsohedoesn' texpectmet oper f
or ml i
kea
pornstarwhereasI'm completelycluelessand
endupembar rassi
ngmy sel
f.Ibreakawayf r
om
thehugandl ookathi m.Hel ooksatmet oo,
l
ikehe'swaiti
ngt oseemynextmov e.Ikisshim
andsay" ButIwantt hi
s."wit
hmyhandsonhi s
broadshoulders.Hisbulgewasnowpoki ngmy
stomach.

Helooksawayandgent l
yr emov esmyhands
fr
om hi sshouldersandpul l
smebyhandsowe
si
tonhi sbed.Hehol dshi sclosedmout harea
i
nbet weenhi sthumbandi ndexf i
ngers,
bendingtheot her3intothepal m ofhishand
whil
el ooki
ngatme.Het ur nshiswhol ebodyto
l
ookatme.Att hi
spointI'
mr egretti
ngwhyI
di
dn'tjustsleepwithKgokaganoi ngrade11
whenhewasnaggi ngmeandpoppedt his
cher
rythen.All
ofthi
swouldn'
tbehappening.
Hetakesmyhandi ntobot
hofhisandattempts
tospeak.Ii
nter
rupt
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Isaydr
oppi
ngmyf
acet
omyt
highs.
Hi
m:Nononono.
..Ij
ust
..
Heexhal
esandwi
peshi
sfacewi
thhi
shand.
Hi
m:Weneedtotal
k.Thishasbeenhaunti
ng
mesi
ncethedayImetyouandIthi
nkit'
shigh
t
imeIgoti
tof
fmychest.
Isuddenl
yfel
tli
kemyi ntest
inesar
e
i
ntert
wini
ngandtight
lytangli
ngint
oaknot
!
Him:Idon'
tknowhowt otel
lyouthi
sinaway
thatwi
llmakeyouunderst
andandnotf r
eakout
.
Rememberwhenwewer einthecarand.
.
Hi
sphoneringfrom hi
spocketandherol
l
shis
ey
esbefor
et aki
ngitoutt
olookatthecal
lerI
.D.
Hi
m:Baf
o
Him:Liyanethaandwenaungaphandl
ekwendl
u
yami?Uphumaphi ?(
It
'sr
aini
ngandyou'
re
outsi
demyhouse? )Helaughsasthecal
ler
keepstalki
ng.
Hi
m:U-
YA-
LA-
YE-
KA(
Ser
vesy
our
ight
)
Hecont
inuesl
aughi
ng.
Hi
m: Uyangi
phazami
zabafoy
az(
You'
re
di
stur
bingmeyouknow?)
Helooksatme,smil
esandt
akesmyhandand
ki
ssesitashel
i
stens.
Him:Suyahlany
akemanj eukhulumakanjani
ngomf az'
wam( You'
rest
art
ingtogocrazyhow
dareyouspeakaboutmywomanl iket
hat?)
Mycur
iosi
tygr
owsashesay
sthi
s.
Him:Fusegakuzudl
i
wamunt
ula(
Noonei
s
goi
ngtogetfuckedher
e)
Boy
s!!
Hi
m:Nxny
azi
n?Awumengi
yeza!(
Wai
tI'
m
comi
ng)
.
Hepi
cksuphi
st-shir
tfrom t
hefl
oorandwear
s
i
tasIadmi
rehi
sf i
rm andwellt
onedbody
.
Hi
m:Woza
Heholdsouthi
shandindicati
ngt
hatIshoul
d
cometohim.HeholdsmyhandasIf oll
ow
behi
ndhim goi
ngdownstairs.

Wegetthereandhisbrot
heropensthef
ront
doorbef
oreanybodycoul
dlethimin.
Muzi:Kuyangqongqozwalaekhayanjalo(
We
knockaroundhere)
.Hesaysandpointsathis
brot
herwhowasnowcl osi
nghisdri
ppingwet
umbrell
a.
Muzi:Kahl
ekahl
ewenaucabang' ukuthi
kuse
t
arvenlawhyungayi
shiyangangaphandl
elento
yakhoManqoba?(
Iseey outhi
nkmyhousei sa
t
arvenwhydidn'
tyouleavethi
sthi
ngofy our
s
outsi
de?)Weweresti
ll
standi
ngatt
hebott
om
ofhisstai
rswhenashewasbusybuzzi
ngto
hi
sbr ot
her.

Manqobaputonahugesmi l
eandappr oached
mewi thhi shandhel doutf orahandshake.As
myr ighthandwasaboutt omeethi s,he
retr
act edandsai d" I
makancan" .Il
ookedand
hisbr otherwhowasst andingnextt omeand
backathi m, surprised.Hewant edtowi pehis
handswi thhi st-shir
tfirstbeforehecoul dgreet
me.Howcut e.Hi sbrotherjuststoodt herewith
hispal mi nhisf ace.Thehandshakef i
nally
happenedandhesai d"Sawubonamakot i".He
saidthi sleaningi nforahug.Hi sbrotherwas
aboutt opr otestbuthesuddenl ystart
ed
shaking, vigorousl yso.Manqobai mmedi ately
l
etgoofmyhandandcaughthi sbrotherbefore
hefell.Mybabyey eswer enowt ur
ningandI
couldn'tseehi spupi l
sany mor e.Hest art
ed
releasingwhi tefoam f rom hisnoseandmout h.
I'
venev erbeensoscar edandf r eakedouti nmy
l
ife.Icoul dn'tcont rolthet earst hatwer e
streami ngdownmyf ace.Itwast hatbad!Hi s
brotherl i
ftedhi m upandwentt ot hecouch
areat oputhi mt here.Hepr essedabut tonon
thesi deandt hesl eepercouchf eelback.I
wipedmyt ear sandaskedhi m what '
sgoi ngon.
Heaskedmenott opani candal sot ost aywi t
h
him andsai dhe' l
lbeback.Her anupst airsand
camebackl i
keal ightningbol t.Hecamedown
thest airsunt yingasmal lblackpl ast i
candt ook
api nchoft hebr ownpowdert hatwasi nside
andputi tonMuzi 'stongueandcl osedhi s
mout h.Muzi 'sseizurehadsei zedbuthewas
sti
llunconsci ousast hiswashappeni ng.
Manqobapr oceededt oputt hepowderi nhi s
noseandhi sear s.Whatt heact ual fucki sgoing
onher e!!
?Het hencal l
edhi sclannamesand
pray edt ohisancest orstoguar dhi sbrot her.
Afterhewasdone, het ookouthi sphoneand
di
all
ed.
Hi
m: Ma.Ngi
lakuPhakamani
andi
qal
i
lef
uthi
l
eyanki
nga.
Hi
m:Manj
e?
Hi
m:Okay
.
Hedr oppedthecal
landsaidhim andIar
e
taki
ngMuzi home,whichIconcl
udedtobe
KZN...

NOI
NSERTTOMORROW.
Gugul
ethu-
Myhusband'
swi
fe

I
nser
t11.

KwaZul
u-Natal
!!
?Waitwhat?Ijustst
oodt
here
gobsmackedbecauseIdi
dn'tknowwhatIwant.
Apartofmedi dn'
twanttogoandanotherknew
thatI
'dli
ter
all
ygocrazybecauseofwor
ryifI
didn'
t.
Him:Uyangizwayini!
?(Doyouevenhearme?)
Hesaid,r
apidlywav i
nghishandinmyface.I
shookmyheadt or esetmyearsbecauseI
wasn'
tli
stening.
Me:
Hmm!
?
Hi
m:I
mal
aI'
l
lgof
etcht
hem my
sel
f.
Me:
Fet
chwhat
?
Hi
m:Thecarkey
s
Me:
NoI
'
llgo.
Iranpasthim andwentstraighttothebedroom
andtookt hekeysfr
om thebedbecauseMuz i
threwthem therewhenwegoti nher e.AsIwas
abouttor unbackdownstair
sIr emember ed
thatI'
m wearingasee-t
hroughandj udgingfr
om
Muzi'sreacti
onhisfamil
ywasdef ini
telynot
gonnasmi l
eandgi vemeanawar dforst
yleand
fashion.Ipickedupmywi gandhishoodiefr
om
thefloor,putthem backonandr anback.AsI
wasst il
lrunningdownt hestai
rsManqoba
screamed" Si seseundermanufacturi
ngleso
skhiyeyini!
?"
Ifi
nal
lygotdownandsai d"I
'
m hereI'
m here!
".
HepickedMuzi upfrom t
hecouchandIwent
aheadofhi mtounl ockt
hecar.Heputhimi n
thebackseatandIal sogoti
nsohecansl eep
onmyt highs.IhandedManqobat hecarkeys
andhedr oveout .

Itookoutwi pesf r
om myhandbagandputi ton
myf eet.IcleanedupMuzi '
sfaceandf i
xedhis
l
egssohecanbecomf ort
able.Iwipedmyt ear
s
andcont inuallybrushedhi shead.Therewas
compl etesilenceint hecarasManqobaf i
xed
hi
sey esont her oad.Ilookedoutoft hewindow
andwat chedt hefall
ingrain.Thecarwasf ly
ing
butIstil
lfel
tli
kehewasn' tgoingf astenough.
Thisisthemomentt hatmademer eali
set hatI
l
ov eMuzikayiseKhumal owi t
hal lmyhear tand
thatI'
dalsorat herdieifhewasn' tgonnawake
up.Iopenedmymout htospeakbutcl osedi t
againindoubt .Andt henIwasl i
kef uckitand
askedManqobai fweshoul dn'tmay begot ot he
nearesthospital i
nstead.Hesai dtheywon' tbe
abletohelpusi nanyway .Thist ookmeby
surpri
sebutIkeptqui teandsai dal i
ttl
eprayer
i
nmyhear t.Godwi l
lhavet of orgivemef or
rocki
nguponhi sdoorl i
ket hisaf t
erdonkey
yearsbecauseatt hi
spoi nt,Hei smyonl yhope.

Aft
erawhi l
ewef inall
yar r
ivedinKZNj udging
fr
om theboardsIkeptseei ngont her
oad.It
hadstoppedraini
ngbutt hegr oundandgr ass
bythesideofther oadlookedwetmeani ngit
wasalsoraini
ngher e.Manqobar ecei
vedacal l
andimmediatelyanswer ed.
Hi
m:Ma?
Him:Jangi say
ikhumbul
aindlel
asoson'
fi
ca
khona?(YesIsti
ll
rememberthewayther
eso
we'l
lfi
ndy outher
e?)
Hi
m:Jangi
hambanay
e.(
YeahI
'
m wi
thher
)
Him:i
Doek?Het urnedt
omeandaskedi fIhav
e
aheadwrapi nmypossessi
on.Ishakedmy
headi
nshock.Whydoesi tsoundli
kethese
peopl
ealreadyknowofmyexistenceandthat
mypresencewasexpected?
Hi
m:Noakanay
o(Shedoesn'
thav
eit
)
Hi
m:Okayk'
l
ungi
l
e(Al
ri
ght
).

Hecont i
nueddri
vi
ngandIwasaf raidt
oasksoI
keptmymout hshut.Heseemslikeaniceguy
butalsoli
kesomebodywhosener vesyou
wouldn'
twanttostepon.Thecarkeptshaki
ng
usashegotof ft
hegr av
elandontoarocky
road.Wef inall
ypar kedout sideasmal l,
oldand
dil
api dat edrondav el.Ther ewasanot herhouse
atadi stancei nthesamey ard.Anol dwoman
wasdoi nglaundr yout sideofi tbutst oppedt o
raiseherheadandst areaswedr ovei n.
Manqobagotoutoft hecarf irstandt hewoman
appr oachedus.Ij ustst ayedi nt hecarbecause
i
twasamor esaf eropt ion.Idi dn'twantt ost ep
onanyt oes.Theyspokeandt hewomanr an
backt ot hehousescr eami ng" Baba!Baba! "A
dar kgr eyAst onMar tinshor t
lydr oveinandI
j
ustcoul dn'
tstopl ooki ngandadmi ringt he
beast .Af teritparkedbehi ndus, anol dman
withgr eyhaircameoutf ollowedbyasl ender
womanIj ustassumedt obehi swife.Theman
wasdr essedi nabl uewor kssui tbutt he
womanl ookedl i
keshecamet oat t
endacl assy
event .Shehadapur plet wo- piecesui ton, black
red-bot tom st i
let
tos, a36i nchweav ewi tha
blackandwhi t
esi l
kdoekont op.Shet ookof
hershadesandcamer unni ngt oManqoba.She
hadanotherbr
ownheadwr apinherhandand
hercell
phonei
ntheot her.Themanf ol
lowed
butitl
ookedli
ketheyleftsomeoneinthecarI
j
ustcouldn'
tdi
sti
nguishiftheyweremal eor
female.

Anelderlymancameoutf rom t hehouse,

rushi
ngt ot herondav el.Hel ookedl i
kea
sangomaj udgi
ngf rom howhewasdr essed.He
said"Ngilandeleni !
"(Followme! )asheent ered.
Thewomanl ookedl ikeshewasaski ng
Manqobasomet hing.Icoul dt ellf
rom howshe
hadherhandsr aisedi nt hesamemannert hat
youwoul dwhenaski ngsomebodywher e
somet hi
ngi s.Hepoi ntedt ot hecarIwasi n
withhisheadandhi smom l ookedi nmy
dir
ecti
onandshecamemar chingtowar dsme.I
fel
tli
kemyhear twasf ightingt oripmychest
open.Shecamet ot hewi ndowandknocked.I
openedt hedoorsl ightlyandshesl owlypulledit
wideopenandheldoutherhandsoIcancome
out.Itooki
tandwentoutofthecar,
careful
not
tohurtMuzi'
shead.Shel
ookedpleasantl
y
surpri
sed.
Her:Ihonestl
ythoughtuBoykiewas
exaggerat
inghowbr eatht
akingl
ybeaut
if
uly
ou
arentombazana.Wel come.
Shesai d.Iwasshocked!Muzi t
oldherabout
meal ready !
?Shehel dmyshoulder sandki ssed
mycheek.Ij ustst oodther
eandsmi led
awkwar dlywi thmyhandsdr oppedt omysi des.
Shehadabeaut i
fulBri
ti
shaccentIcoul dli
sten
toherspeakal ldayandt hedayaf terthat.
Manqobaandhi sdadcamet othecar ,took
Muzi outandheadedt othesmal lhouse.The
womangav emet hedoekandsai d" Her e,put
thi
sonqui ckly".Ididasshesai dandt henshe
i
nstructedmet ofollowherasshef ollowedt he
men.
Wet ookof fourshoesandgoti ntother ondav el
.
Iwasl efti
nmybl ackandl aceysecretsocks
andherbar efoot.Shehasni cetoesandherr ed
nailpol i
shmadet hiswor se.Muzi wasputt ol ay
ont hef l
oorast heheal erspr i
nkledwhatl ooked
l
ikewat ermixedwi thashandIdon' tknowwhat
elseonhi swholebody .Themenwer ekneel ing
andsi tti
ngont heirheel s.Wegoti nther eand
satdown.Ist art
edcoughi ngast hesmoket hat
wasbur ningupint herewassuf focatingme.
Muzi 'smot herbrushedmybackunt i
l Istopped.
Thesangomacont inuedunt ilMuzistarted
l
ooki ngl i
kehewascomi ngbackt olife.Het hen
stoppedaf t
erthatbutMuzi wasst i
l
l notawake.
Cansomebodypl easet ell
mewhat '
sgoi ngon
here?
Thehealercametokneel
,puthi
shandsonhi
s
kneesandstart
edtal
ki
ng.
Hi
m:Sesif
iki
lelesaskhathi
nkosi
yami.(
That
t
imehasarri
vedmyki ng)
.Hesaidashewas
l
ookingst raighti ntot heol dman' sey esandhe
respondedbysay ing" Makhosi "andbowedhi s
head.Thesangomat hent urnedt olookatme.
Myhear tal mostst oppedbeat i
ng.Hel ookedat
mef oragood2mi nut eswi t
houtbl inki
ngwhi l
e
posit
ioni nghi sheadsi deway s.Het henf i
nall
y
spokeandsai d" Ngi celai sandl asakho" .I
hesit
at edandl ookedatt hewomanwhot hen
said"I
t'sokay ", assur ingme.Igav ehim my
handandhest artedt raci ngt he3l i
nesinsideof
i
t.Iwasl ooki ngathi m ashedi dt hi
s.Mymom
oncet oldmet hatIhav eabnor mal hands
becauseIhav eanext raconnect ingl i
ne
betweent heonet hatcur v est owar dsmywr i
st
andtheonet hatgoesoutofmyhand.Nobody
elsehast his.Thewomanwasal solookingand
shesai d" Itisher !Muzi kay i
seal sohast hese
l
ines!"
, lookingatYi se'sf at her.Thesangoma
thenshout edandt oldhert oshush.Shedi d
exactl
yt hatandsatback.
Thesangomal
etgoofmyhandand"
Uphi
unyoko?
"
Me:
She'
sathome.Li
mpopo
Him:Ang'
khul
umingomamkhul
uwakho.(
I'
m
nott
alki
ngabouty
ouraunt
).
Me:
Idon'
thav
eanol
deraunt
.
Him:Ntombi,lomamal oakukhulisi
lengu
mamkhul uwakhongobay enanomawakhoba
amawel ekodway enaubel
ethwekucal a.Lokhu
kumenzaabey enaomkhulu.(Gir
l,t
hewoman
thatr
aisedyouisactual
lyyourolderaunt
becauseherandy ourmotherwer etwinsbut
shewasbor nfir
st,maki
nghert heolderone.)
Howdoesthi
smanknowalloft
his?It
ensed
myeyebr
owsandl
ookedathim.
Him:Umawakhowashonaebel ethawena
ngobaumsebenziwakhel
aemhl abeni
bese
uphel
il
e.Umsebenzi
wokulethawenala
emhlabeni
ukuthi
uzokwazi
ukufezaist
hembiso
l
esi ukhokhowakhoasenzakuPhakamani
Bedlabedlul
aKhumal ongo1918l eemay ini
.
(Yourmot herdi edwhilegivingbir
thtoy ou
becauseherj obi nthewor ldoftheli
v ingwas
done.Herpur posewast ogivebir
tht oyouso
thatyoucangr owtof ulf
ill
thepromi sethatyour
greatgrandfathermadet oPhakamani
Bedlabedlul
aKhumal oi n1918int hemi nes.)

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t12.

Muzi'sfather
: Yourgreatgrandfatherandmy
grandfatherwerebot hminewor kersatWi t
bank.
Oneday ,themi nestart
edshaki ngand
everybodywaswar nedtov acate.Theydidthat
butaftersomet i
memygr andfather,Phakamani
,
start
ednot i
cingthathisfri
endwasnotamong
them.Heaskedev er
yoneandappar entl
ythey
allshruggedandcl aimedt onothav eseenhi m
comeout .Themi newasst i
l
l shaki
ngbuthe
attempt edt ogoin.Thei rseniortri
edpulli
ng
him backbuti twast oolate.Hewenti nl
ooki ng
forhisfr i
endandf oundhisy ell
owhel metf i
rst.
Whenhef inal
lyfoundhi m,hehadahuger ock
onhi schest .Her emov edther ockandcar ri
ed
him outoft heminescoughi ngoutbl ood.He
puthim downandhet hankedhi mf orsav i
nghis
l
ifeandt oldhim hewoul dowehi m hisli
fe.My
grandfat hersaidher epli
edbyl aughingand
say i
nghedoesn' twanthi sli
febutat swana
makot ibecauset heyaresobeaut i
ful
.Hewas
say i
ngt hisasaj oke.Yourgr andfatherwas
takent ot hehospi t
alandheunf ort
unatelydied
thenextday .

I
ft hi
sissomeki ndofasickjoketheni
tisnot
funny!Itr
iedf
indingtheri
ghtwordstoexpress
howIf eel
.ButIcouldn'
t.Nowitwasstart
ingto
makesensehowMuzi keptsayi
nghewant edto
mar r
ymer ightfrom thest ar
t.Hiswordskept
ri
ngingi nmyhead." Buty oudon'tknowme? "I
sai
d."ButIknowy ouwer emadef orme",he
sai
d.Soheknewal lalong.Isthatwhathewas
tr
yingt otellmeal lal
ong?Ev er
yonewasqui et
.
Seemi nglywaitingformet odigestthi
sandpull
my sel
ft ogether.Iwipedmyt earsandaskedif
Muzi i
sgoi ngt obeokay ?
Sangoma:uPhakamani
akagul
i
.(Phakamani
is
notsi
ck)
.
Thewoman: Hehasneverbeenapersonwho
hasaprobl
em wit
hseizur
esorconvulsi
ons.
Thel
astti
met hi
shappenedwasadaybef or
e
hegotmarri
edtoMadlamini
.
Me:
Eng!
?(What
!?)
Manqoba:Hay
iimaakazi
lomunt uukut
hiuMK
ushadi
l
e.(Nomom thi
spersondoesn'
tknow
thatMKismarr
ied)
.
Ma:Yoh!Whyangamt
jel
anganay
e?(
Whydi
dn'
t
het
ellher
?)
Hisdad:Wenawatj
elwangumaory
imi
na?
(In
yourcasewhot
oldyou?Wasi
tmymom or
my sel
f?)
Hesai
d.Looki
ngandsoundi
ngi
rr
it
ated.
If
eltmyenti
reworl
dcrumbl
i
ngdown.
Muzikay
isef
ucki
ngli
edtome!?
Me:
Hel
i
edt
ome?
Manqoba:
Nohedidn'
t.Hej
ustdi
dn'
ttel
lyou
t
hewholetrut
h.
Whatintheskydi
vingf**kisManqobasay i
ng?I
haveahugeamountofr espectforhi
m as
Muzi'
solderbr
otherbueetr i
ghtnowIf el
tli
ke
punchi
nghiminthef ace.Idroppedmyj awand
l
ookedathim,appall
ed!
Sangoma:Asi
khoi
sdi
ngosay onkel
ento.Lent
o
ewunayoi
fananobi
zo.Angekewayibal
ekela
unomphela.(Ther
e'snoneedf
oral
loft
his.
Whaty ouhaveisthesameasacal
li
ng.You
can'
trunfrom i
tforev
er.
)
Me:I
'
venev
erbeent
hisconf
usedi
nmyent
ir
e
l
if
e.
IlookedatMuzi whowasst ar
ti
ngtocoughand
feltl
ikestr
angl
inghimtodeathsohecandie
forrealthi
sti
meandst opacti
ng.Iwasso
pissedIcouldeasi
lyrel
easesmokefrom my
noseandear s.
Af
terawhi
l
eofsomesi
l
ence,
Me: I
fushadi
l
elomuntunjengobanisho
nje,
nnakekenakaegol
ofa?(I
fhe'smarri
edas
yousay,wheredoIf
eat
ureinall
ofthis?
)
Sangoma:Angi
yizwai
par
tyokugqi
na.(
Idi
dn'
t
getthel
astpar
t)
Me:
Whatam Idoi
ngher
e?
Thef
ather
:Madl
ami
nial
sohasapur
posei
n
Phakamani '
shouse.I '
m nottheonewho' s
supposedt otellyouthisbutthethronewi l
l,
at
somepoi ntbelongt othebabyboyshe' s
current
lycarr
ying.Weknewabouty outhef i
rst
ti
mehehadasei zure.Bab'Ngemasai diti
s
goingtohappenagai nift
het woofy oumeet
andwedon' tbringtohi m wit
hinthefir
st24
hourshewasgoi ngt obeparalyzedforli
fe.

Whoawhoawhoawai t!
!!Muzi di
dnotonly
decei
vemeaboutbei ngmar ri
edbuthe'salsoa
pri
ncefr
om ar oy
alfamily?Wonder sarel
egit
ref
usi
ngtoend!Thewomancr awledtowhere
MuziwascoughingandIl ookedaway .Hi
s
fat
hercont
inuedspeaking.
Him:MuziandMadl ami niarehighschool
sweethear
ts.Butrecentl
yt hey'
vebeenfighti
ng
l
ikecatandmousesomucht hatMadlamini
movedoutoft hehousei nJohannesburgand
camebackher e.She'sbeenl i
vi
ngwi t
husf or3
mont
hsnow.
Thesangomathensaidhecan'
tworkinsuch
tensi
onandsuggest
edwegohome.Manqoba
heldandhel
pedMuziwalktohi
scar.Igotout
andworemyshoes.Thesunwasalreadyout.
Muzi'
smom cameandhel dmyshoulder
.
Me:
Macany
oupl
ease.
.
Her
:Pl
ease.Cal
lmeEv
ely
n.
Iexhal
edandl
ookeddown.
Her:
Let'
sgohomesoy
oucanbat
h,eatandget
somerest.
Me:
Mymom woul dn'tal
l
owt hat.I
t'
sagainst
mytr
adi
ti
onallawsf
oragi r
lf
riendtobehaveli
ke
awi
fewhereassheisunmarri
ed.
Her
:Nonsense.
..
..
Averybeaut
if
ulpregnantwomancameoutof
t
hecarandstart
edspeakingtoManqoba.My
mindtr
ail
edofff
rom mat oher.Shel
ookedl
i
ke
shewassomewher einher1stt r
imester.She
waswear i
ngat i
ghtkneelength,longsleeved
blackdr
essandr osegoldsli
ponsandl eswit
ha
nudeheadwr ap.Shewasl ookingatmeasshe
wasspeakingwi t
hMuzi '
sbrotherbutIcouldn'
t
readherface.Iwaslooki
ngathert oo.
Ev
ely
n:Cany
ouev
enhearme?
Me:
Ma?
?
Her:Ngit
hi you'r
ealreadymar ri
edinoureyes.
Shetookmyhandandwewal kedtothecars.
Madlamini couldn'
tstoplookingatme.Istil
l
coul
dn'treadherf ace.Igotintherangerover
wecamei nandf oundMuzi inthecar.Hetried
tospeakandt akemyhandbutIsai dnoas
Manqobadr oveout.

UNEDI
TED.
..
I
nser
t13(
NEVERMI
NDTHEERRORS!
)
Hi
m:Baby
Me:
Hi
m:St
handwasam
Me:
Hi
m:Bambol
wam.
Me:
Don'
tmakemesayordot
hingsIdon'
twant
t
odo.
Me:
Act
ual
l
ypl
easet
akemehome.
Manqoba:
Hawumakoti.Si
zohambaksasa
sonke(
We'
llal
ll
eav
etomorrow)
Idon'tknowhowt oar guewi t
hManqobasoI
resorttokeepi
ngmymout hshutandlooking
outthewi ndow.Istar t
edt hi
nkingabouthow
mucht houghtIfinallyfoundthemanofmy
dreamsbuthet ur nedoutt obeal i
arli
kethe
restofthem.Hehol dsanent ir
edoctorat
ei n
thatdepartment.Muzi knowshowchar minghe
i
sandt hat '
swhatupset smet hemost .I
fhe
real
lywant sat hinghe'sgonnageti t.IfIget
awaywi thsomet hi
ngthent hatmeanshel etme.
Butnott hist i
me.Imi ssmymot her.Imissmy
bestfr
iend.Imi ssmyper sonalspace.My
sanctuar y.Thisweekendhasbeent hecrazi
est
andit'
snotev enov er
.Iwi pedmyt earsand
madesur ehedi dn'
tseeme.Il ov ehim somuch
thatI'
dr atherlethim got hanwat chhiml ove
anotherwoman.

Heendedupf all
ingasleepandbal ancinghi s
headwiththecarwi ndow.Itwas
underst
andablebecausehedi dn'
tlookl ikehe
hadmuchener gy.Thisentir
eseizuresaga
drai
nedtheli
feoutofhi sfuckboysel f
.I
watchedhim sl
eepandf el
tli
kewakinghi m up
withavaraam cl
ap.ButwhowasIki dding?I
waslivi
dbutthatdidn'tchangehowIf eltabout
hi
m.Ineedt i
met othinkaboutalloft hisand
digestit.Me?Asecondwi fe?Al otofthi
ngs
wer egoingthroughmymi nd.Forexampl e,
whati fhemuf fs/performscunni li
ngusonher
andcomesbackt oki ssme?Ar gsiesman.How
doest hisshari
ngdi ckbusi nesswor k?Doeshe
sleepwi thmet odayandhert omor row?Ist
here
at i
met ableorarost erusedf oralt
ernati
ngtur
ns?
Ithurt
smehowt wopeopl edecidedt ohavesex
23y earsagoandnowI 'm herehav i
ngtoshare
apeni s!

Wef i
nall
ygottohi
shomeandManqoba
packedandgotoutoft hecarbecause
apparent
lymeandhi sbrot
herneedt ot
alk.
Muzi wokeupandmassagedhi sshoul
ders.He
groanedinpai
nandIj ustt
hinnedmyey esand
watchedhim.Heturnedandcaughtmegi vi
ng
hi
m adeat hst
are.
Hi
m:YoudoknowthatInev
ermeantf
oranyof
t
hist
ohappenr
ight
?
Me:Whatexact
ly?Mygreatgrandf
athermaking
r
idi
cul
ouspromisesory
oul y
ingtomyf ace?
Hi
m:Whatexact
lydi
dIl
i
eabout
?
Me: Youkeptawholehumanwho' scarr
y i
ng
yourchil
dasecret
!Youmadei tsoundli
key ou
werenotinarel
ati
onshipbutj
ustco-parenti
ng.
Him:Idi
dnotli
eaboutany
thing.Ij
ust
post
ponedtel
l
ingyouever
ythingbecauseI
knewyouweregonnarunforthehil
ls.
Me:
Damnst
rai
ghtIwa.
..
Him: Ngi
celasikhulumekahl
emi nanawe
ngaphandlengokudel el
anasthandwasam.
(Canwepl easetalkwit
houtdi
srespect
ingeach
othermylov e)
?
Thissoundedlikeat hreatwhicht ur
nedi ntoa
stari
ngcontestbutmyhear tbetrayedmeandI
smi l
edfr
om within.Ther e'
ssomet hingthat
turnsmeonwi thseei nghimi ninstructi
veand
bossmode.I '
vesaidt hisbeforeandI 'm gonna
sayitagain,t
hismanisgonnabet hedeathof
me.Howev er
,Idon'
twanttodie.SoIhaveto
l
eav etodaybecausehemi ghtmanagetoworm
hi
swayi nt
omyhear tl
ikehealwaysdoesifI
stayhereami nutel
onger.

Igotoutofthecarandhedi dthesame.I
neededsomeai r
.Hestretchedhi shandsand
yawned.Het i
ghtlycl
osedhi sey esforlike20
secondsandsai d"Ei
sh".Hel ookedv er
yt i
red
shame.Hehadhi shadonhi sneckwhen
Madlaminicameoutoft hehousepul li
ngher
yell
owandbl acksuit
case.Manqobacameout
shouti
ngfrom thehousesay ing" Okayi t
hi
ngik'
si
zeke!"(Letmehel pyout hen) .Muzi
l
ookedshockedatwhatwashappeni ng.He
rushedtoherandsai d"
Uy aphi Gugul et
hu
Khumalo?"(
Wher eareyougoi ng? ).Shewi ped
hertear
swi t
ht heti
ssuepapershehadi nher
handandsni f
fed.
Her
:Doy
ouev
encar
e?
Hervoi
cewasbreaki
ngasshesai
dthi
sandt
his
ki
ndabrokemyheart
.She'
spr
egnantf
or
heav
enssake.
Him:Okay
.Iunderst
andthatt
hishardfory ou
butngi
cel
aungahambiSamkethe.Ngiyakcela
mommy .(
..pl
easedon'
tgoSamket he.Please
mommy )
Hesai
d,pl
eadi
ngwi
thher
.
Her:Youmissedyourson'
sult
rasoundbutyou
al
way scl
aimtocareaboutus.Awusangit
handi
Khumaloandit'
saboutdamnIacceptedit
.
Hlal
anonkosikaziwakhoomusha.Therear
e
menwhocant r
eatmewaybet t
er.
Him:Manj
esewuf
unaukung'
hlanyi
shaayi
kho
enye.(
Nowyouj
ustwantt
odrivemecrazy
,
nothi
ngel
se.
)
Her
:Ngit
hinimakunj
emina?(
What'sexpect
ed
ofme?
)Ipleadedwit
hyou.Ngak'
cengaukuthi
uzamshadamaseuboyaf ikil
e(Ibeggedwith
youtoonlymarr
yherwhenI '
vegi venbi
rt
h)but
becauseyoul
ovehersomuchy oucoul
dn'twai
t,
youjusthadt
obringherhere.
Hi
m:Waz'
kahl
eukut
hinoneoft
hismydeci
sion.
(
Youknowver
ywell
..
.)

Wow!Okaysohef
eel
sfor
cedl
ovi
ngme?

Her:Shestar
tedcryi
ngandhet ookheri
nhis
armsandhuggedher .Hehadtobendhisknees
abitli
kehedoeswi t
hmebecausehe' st
all
er
thanthebothofus.Herai
sedhisheadtolook
atherwit
hherheadonhi schest.
Him:Musaphelanaweukuy
ihlany
isa.(
You
shoul
dalsost
opbeingt
hiscrazy)
Hesai
d,sof
tl
y.Shel
aughed.
Hi
m:Ngi
yakt
handanaweandngi
zohl
ezi
ngi
kthanda.(
Ilov
eyouaswel
landI
'
llal
way
s
do)
.
Shenodded.
Hi
m:Mm?
Hesai
d,want
inghert
oconf
ir
mthatshehear
d
hi
m.

Thishurt
.Itbrokemyhear tintosev eralpieces
andIcouldfeelthebl ooddr oppingt omy
stomachbecausei twasnowt urni
ngand
feeli
ngcol
d.Ididn'tmeant oshutt hecardoor
butIdidandithappened.Ev erybodyt urnedand
l
ookedatme, fr
ightenedbywhatj usthappened.
IlookedatMuzi once, openedt hedoorand
tookmyhandbag.Iwasaboutt owal kt othe
hugegateandIsawt heguar dsstandi ng.I
assumedt heywant edt ostopmebutt heydon't
knowme.Myshar ptswanat ongueal way sgets
meoutofshi tandmyass- kickingpedi sel
f
al
way sputspeopleinthei
rplace.Iwasfumi
ng
andreadytofi
ght.Muzi at
tempt edtof
oll
owme
buthi
smot herstoppedhim andshewast he
onetofoll
owmei nst
ead.

Shegott omeandpl eadedthatIt akeawal k

withher.Iwasr el
uct antbutshesai dshej ust
wantst otal
kandt hatI '
lll
eaveaf t
erwar dsi fI
sti
llwantto.Iwashonest lykakt i
red,neededa
showerand10l it
resofr edwi ne.Ihadno
appetit
eandatt hispoi ntI'
dev entake40v odka
shotsbymy sel
fwi t
houtpause.Whati smyl i
fe
tur
ninginto?Ifeel l
ikemygr eatgr ansol dme
beforeheev enmetme.Thi sisthef uckeriestof
all
betrayalsknownt omanki nd.Idroppedt he
bagont hef l
oorandagr eedtowal kwi thher .
Shewasnowi nwhi tesli
ppers,thepur pleskirt
andawhi t
esleevelesst op.Wewentbehi ndt he
houseandkeptwal kingt owardswhatl ooked
l
ikeagol fcourse.Itwaswel lt
akencar eofand
thegr
asswassot hickandclusteredtogether
youcouldn'tseeanysoil
.Itwasbeaut i
ful.We
werewalkinginsil
enceasIadmi r
edhery ard.
Sheheldmyhandandwef i
nall
ygottoapond.
I
thadabenchandshader oof.Ili
kethiswoman.
Shehast hi
scontagiouscalm abouther .

Wegott her
eandsatdown.Iheav i
lybr eathed
outbecauseIwasr eall
yexhaustedandmy
eyesf el
tli
ke5Kgmar bl
es.Icoul
dn'ttakei t
anymor eandIbr okedowni nt
oapool oftears.
Shet ookmyheadandputi nonherl apand
brushedmyhai r.Icri
edsomuchmyv oiceburnt
out.Idon'twanttoloveMuzi butIdo.Shoul dn't
Ihaveachoi ceinallofthi
s?

WhenIf i
nal
lygotagri
pofmycalm,Ikeptquiet
andwatchedheryell
owcrossedl
egs.Il
i
stened
tohersubtl
esingi
ng.Wasthi
swomansi ngi
ng
meal ull
aby ?I'
veneverheardthissongbefore
butshesangsowel l
.Ifi
twasonet henitwasa
Zululul
laby.Shef i
nall
ykeptquietandexhaled.I
wipedmyf ace,satupandlookedahead.Icoul d
feelhereyesonme.

Her:
Youdoknowt
hathedi
dn'
taskf
oranyof
t
histoor
ight
?
Me:
Her:Look,i
sthembuisnotasbadaspeopl e
al
way sbadmouthittobe.Thepeoplewhoar e
al
way stal
ki
ngaboutthewor stcasescenar
ios
concernedwithpol
ygamyarepeoplewhohav e
j
ustseenitonTVandnev eractuall
ybeenin
one.
Me:
Arey
oui
none?
Her:
Iwas.Shediedl
asty
ear
.Mayherpr
eci
ous
soulr
esti
npeace.
Her:I'm notgonnal iet oyouandsaywest art
ed
sharingr eci
pesandwentshoppi ngtogetheron
thefirstdaybutwef oundawayt omakei twor k
becausewel ov edt hesamemanandwebot h
want edt oseehi m happy .Wewer etwo
diff
erentchar acterunl ikey ouandMabuy i.She
waswhatpeopl edescr ibeas" wifematerial"
event houghIhav enoi deawhatt hehellt
hati s
supposedt omean.Iseeal otofMadlami niin
you.Youbot har est ubbor nandpi gheadedbut
youhav eonei mpor tantt hi
ngi ncommon.You
bothl ovemyson.Icanseei ti
nyoureyesandI
alsolov ehowhel ooksaty ou.Muzikayisei s
capabl eofmaki ngt hebot hofy ouequal l
y
happy .Pleasetr usthi m?
Heprobabl
ygott
hist
rustwor
dfr
om bei
ng
br
eastf
ed.
Her:He'
saspeci
alhumanbeing.I'
m notjust
sayi
ngthi
sbecauseI'
m hi
smot herbutthe
chancesofy
ourunni
ngintoamanl ikehim
al
mostequat
ebt
ozer
o.
Asmileescapedmyl i
psbeforeIcoul
dstopit
andshesawi t
.It'
strue.Muziisaspecial
man
fr
om theli
tt
leI'
veseen.IdecidedtoasksinceI
wascuriousaboutthisfr
om mor ni
ng.
Me:Whydoeshehav
ethesamenameashi
s
gr
eatgr
andfat
her
?
Shesmil
edandtookmyhand.Thiswoman
behav
esalotl
i
keherfuckboyofason.
Her :WhenMuzi wasbor n,itwasr ai ni
ngcat s,
dogsandi cecubes, wit
hlighting,thunderand
ev ery
thinginbet ween.Wehadashedhouse
ov erthere,shepointedasshesai dt his.That
heav yanddest ructi
verainrippedt hehouse
apar t
.Itwast hatbad.Muzi coul dn'tstopcr yi
ng.
Meandhi sstepmot her
(Hisf ather'
sf irstwif
e)
ev enthoughthewasscar edoft het hunder.The
rainstoppedandhedi dn'tstopcr ying.Hecr ied
from 2i ntheafternoontil
l3am.Iwasscar ed
thatIwasl osi ngmychi l
d.Hi sf atherwasnot
herebuthi sl atebab'mcanewas.Bab' Ngema
camebangi ngonourdoorandwhenweopened,
heshout edt hatt henameoft hechi ldis
MuzikayisePhakamani Khumal obecauseofhi s
guardi
anangel whocont i
nuest olivethr ough
him.Hisf athernamedhi m Muzi kayi
seandI
hadinit
iallynamedhi m Sbusi so.Ihadt o
changet hatname.Wesl aught eredagoatf or
thatandev ersincet henmybabyst opped
cryi
ng.Indef init
el y
.Ev enifheneededt obef ed
orneededanappyhej ustthrewhi stinyf i
sts
around.Ashegr ew,hedi dn'tcr ylikeot herkids
whenhef ell orhithisheadont hewal l.Hej ust
brokeany thinghecameacr ossandst ormed
i
ntohisr oom t osleep.Iwasaf raidthathewas
goingtohav eangeri ssuesandbecome
abusiveasanadul t
.Hepr ovedmewr ongand
grewtobet hemostgent lemani nthe
household.Hej ustcannotcr y.
UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t14.(
Mini
ski
rt
.)

Myl oveforMuzi i
sev ent
uall
ygoingt oturnme
i
ntoamadwomanandI '
m notgoingtoallowit
.
Mymom doesn' tevenknowt hatI'
m here.I
misshersosomuch.Iwi shIcouldlayonher
chestsoshebr ushesmyheadandt el
lmet hat
everyt
hingisgoingtobeokayl ikeshehas
alwaysdoneev ersinceIwasaki d.Itwasnice
l
isteni
ngt oMuzi'schil
dhoodstoriesbutIhave
togonow.It ell
thistoMaandst andupf rom
thebench.Shequi ckl
ystandsupaswel ll
ike
she'sexpecti
ngmet osaysomet hingel
se.
Me: Ma,t
hankyousomuchf orwelcomi
ngi
nto
yourhomeandt hewarmthy
ou'veshownme.
Butunfor
tunat
elyIneedt
ogohomenow.
There'
salotIneedtodo.
Isayandhugher
.
Her:Pleasedon'tgi
veuponhi m.Iknow
akenzakaizi
ntongendl el
a(Hedidn'
tdothi
ngs
theri
ghtaway )butpleasebepati
entwi
thhim.
Ij
ustsmil
ebecauseIdon'
twantt
oar
gue.Ij
ust
wanttogohome.

Wewal kt ot hehouseandshesuggest swego

throught hebackdoor .Iagr eeandwef ind
ManqobaandMuzi sittinginthecouchandTV
area.Icoul dn'tseeev er ybodyelse.Theywer e
wat chingsoccer .ManqobahadaHei neken
bott l
einhi shand.Ther ewasanot heroneon
thecof feet able.Hedr inksbeer ?Muzi
i
mmedi atelystoodupf rom hisseatwhenwe
wal kedi n.Hel ookedmor eenergeti
candal ive
now.Li ket heMuzi Iknow.Iwasmor ecal mer
andl essr aged.Wel ookedateachot herf ora
secondbef or eIspoke.Manqobasatt hereli
ke
hewaswait
ingt
oseewhatmynextmov
iei
s
goi
ngtobe.
.
Me:
Pleaset
akemehome.
Muzi
:Babypl
ease.
.
Me:Idon'
twantt
oar
gue.I
'
mreal
l
yti
red.Pl
ease
t
akemehome.
Icouldfi
ll
tearsbri
mmi ngupi nmyey esandI
l
ookedupt ryi
ngtopusht hem back.Iwipedt
he
cornerofmyey eswit
hmyi ndexfi
ngers.
Hi
m:Ngicel
asi
yokhul
umelangaphandl
e(Can
wepl
easegospeakout
side?
)
I
nallhonest
y,Idi
dnothav
etheener
gyf
oral
l
t
his.
Me:
Bagy
akaekae?(
Wher
e'smybag?
)
Heapproachedmeandsai
d"Canwepl
ease
t
alkaboutthi
s?"
Me:Ther
e'snot
hingforust
otal
kabout.Stay
her
eandtakecareofyourwi
feandbaby.And
al
so,
takecar
eofy
our
sel
ftoo.
Isaidandki
ssedhischeek.Hedr
oppedhis
facetothef
loorandcl
osedhiseyes,
looki
ng
defeat
ed.
Him:Iam beggi
ngyouSi
phakami
l
e.Pl
ease
don'
tgosthandwasam.
Sphakami l
e!?Cloudsbegancl osingi nout side
asIwast ryi
ngt odigestwhyhe' dcal lmet hat
.I
l
ookedout sideandt hesunwasbusyt aki ngit
's
presenceaway .Itdi
dn'tlookl i
kei twasgonna
rainwhenwewal kedinher e.Theskywasas
clearascleanwat er
.Itthanst artedr ai
ningasI
wasl ooki
ngt oseewhat 'sgoi ngonout side.Ma
smi l
edandt hensaid"Uy abonanaweukut hi
nedlozial
ivumi"(Youcanal soseet hatt he
ancestorsarealsoagainsty ouleaving)shesai d
asshewentt oclosethegl asssl i
dingdoor .

Muzi
:Ngi
cel
anj
eit
hubael
i
nyev
otoexpl
ain
my sel
f.Masambe.(
All
I'
m askingf
ori
sone
changetoexplai
nmyself
.Let
'sgo)
.
Hesai
dashetookmyhandandmademeto
f
oll
owhim.Idi
dsohecangeti
tov
eranddone
wi
thandthent
akemehome.
Wewentupst air
sandgoti ntooneoft herooms.
Iaskedhim whereMadl aminii
sandhesai dshe
wast akent
oaspa.I tmustbenice.Youget
cheatedonandt hereaft
ergetshippedofftoa
spaasanapol ogy.Ithoughttomy sel
f.
Hegoti nfir
standsatont hebed.Thi shouse
wasmadbeaut i
ful
.Ev eryt
hingiseithercream
whiteorgold.Iwasst i
lladmiri
ngEv elyn'ssense
ofstyl
ewhenMuz itappedhi sthighindicati
ng
thatIshouldcomesi tthere.Iwentov ertohim
butsatbyhi ssi
deinstead.I'm notputting
my sel
finanyposit
iont obemani pulatedbyhim.
Heexhal edandsai
d" Fairenough. "
Webot
hkeptqui
etashebal
ancedhi
sel
bows
onhi skneesandar chedhisbackforward.He
wipedhisf acewi t
hbot hhandsandexhal ed
again.Hereallylookst i
red.We'
reall
tir
ed.He
turnedtoandl ookedatmef orafewseconds
beforehesai d"Ubuhl ebakho
sthandwasami ..
"(Yourbeautymylove..
)
Me:
Don'
tst
art
.
Isai
dasIfl
ippedal
lmyhai rtot hebackand
l
ookedaway.Itwasstil
lrai
ningandt her
ewas
nosunl
i
ght.Theful
llengthwi ndowswereopen
butt
heroom wasdark.
Him:Ngiyaxoli
sangempel ababy (
I'
mr eall
y
sorr
y..
)Iwouldnev erhurtyouthiswaywi th
i
ntenti
on.Whaty ousawear l
i
er,shouldn'
thave
happenedinf r
ontofy ouanditnev erwil
lagai
n.
Ever
.Ijustcouldn'
tletMadlaminileaveli
kethat.
She'
scar r
yingmybaby .
Me:
Doy
oul
oveher
?
Hekeptqui
etf
orabi
tbef
oreat
tempt
ingt
o
speak.Ist
oodupandsai d"Thenther
e'snothi
ng
forustospeakabout
.Ifyoudon'twanttotake
mehome, Iwil
ll
eavethishouseandIwi l
lget
ther
ebymy sel
f.
"
Hequi cklystoodandhel dmebywai stfr
om t he
back.Hecamet ost andi nfrontofmeandt r
ied
toholdme.If oughthi mt oletmegobuthe
didn't
.Hehel dmet ightlyti
llIfeltl
ikeI'
ve
depletedal lofmyener gy.Isai d"Muzikayise
ntlogele"(Letmego) .Hej ustkeptqui etand
l
ookedatmebutdi dn'tletmego.Ionce
promi sedmy selfthatI'm nev ercryinginfrontof
amanbutIwasaboutt obreakt hatpromi se.I
couldn' tkeepittoget herany mor e.Iwassoso
ti
redsoIbr okedownandcr i
ed.Hecov eredme
upwi thhi swhol ebodyandt riedtocomf or tme.
Myheadwashot .Ifcryingwasl ethalmymom
woul dbeor ganizingmyf uneral ri
ghtnow.

If
inal
l
ycal
meddownandheki
ssedmy
for
ehead.Thisiseveryman'sbackupplanwhen
ever
ythingi
sfail
ing.Thi
sishowt heysuckal
l
thesenseinyourhead.Ijustst
ayedinhisar
ms.
Heraisedhisheadandlookedatme.
Him: Ngi y axoli
sabambol wam.Ngi cela
ungixolel e(I'
mr eall
ysor ry.Pl easef orgi
veme. .
.)
formaki ngy ouf eell
ikeIdon' tlovey ou
anymor e.Iam sor ryforl yingt oy ou.
Ngiyav uma. (
Iadmi t)
.Iwentaboutt histhe
compl et elywr ongway .It
'sj ust .
..angifuni
ukulahlekel wanguwe. (Idon' twantt oloseyou).
Iwoul dn' tsurvivethat.Ngi yani thandano
Madl ami ni butwenaungubambol wam.( Il
ove
youbot hbuty ou'r
emysoul mat e).Myhear t
belongst oy ou.AndI '
m gonnaspendt herestof
myl i
fepr ov i
ngt hi
stoy ou.Ify oucoul djustgiv
e
met hatchance.Ey odwanj engi kboni seukuthi
ngikthandakangakanani .( Justonechancet o
showy ouhowmuchIl ov ey ou) .
Ij
ustkeptqui
et.Hecuppedmychi nandmade
met ol
ookathim.Webot hlookedateachother
wi
thoutsayi
ngawor d.Hebroughthisface
cl
osertomineandputhisforeheadagainst
mine.
Him: Pleasebeli
evemewhenIsayIl ovey ou?
I
'm notaf anofhav i
ngmor ethanonewoman.
YesIf uckedaroundwhenIwasst il
lakidbut
thatwasj ustpartofmegr owi
ng.Iam notthat
person.ButatthispointIhavenochoi
ce.
Me:Wellyou'
llhavetochooseandI'vealr
eady
madethatchoiceforyou.DulaleMabuy i
(St
ay
wit
h..
.)
.I'
m notthekindofwomanwhowoul d
dest
royanother'
smar r
iagedeli
ber
ately
.
Hi
m:Didyoupl
anukumshayangest
inay
ini
?If
not
henthi
sisf
arfr
om del
i
berat
e.
Me:
Oksal
ayo.
Idi
dn'
tmeantomakehi
ml aughbuthedi
d.It
washonest
lyt
hel
astt
hingIhadonmymi nd.I
smi
l
edandl
ookedaway
.
Hef ollowedmyf acewi thhi
sandl ookedatme.
Ther ewassomuchsi ncer
it
yi nhisey es.He
touchedmyl owerl i
pwithhisthumband
cont i
nuedl ookingatme.Icl osedmyey esand
hehel dt hesideofmyf acewi t
hhisl efthand.
Hel eanedi nt oki
ssme.Heputhi slipsonmi ne
butIdi dn'trespondt othekiss.Heopenedhi s
ey esandl ookedatmebutdi dn'
tmov eaway
from me.Hesuckedonl owerlipandhel dmy
but t
.Istartedheat ingupandr espondedt othe
kiss.Ittookev erythingi
nmet obreaki t.Ipull
ed
awayandsai d"Pleasetakemehome,
Phakamani ".

UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t15

Muzi
ref
usedt
otakemehomeandsai
dwe'
re
goi ngt oleavet omor rowmor ni ng.Il eftmy
wal letathomebecauseI '
m st upidandIbar ely
think.Whatel se?At houghtofcat chingl ift
s
from KZNt oPLKcr ossedmymi ndbuti t'sjust
toounr eali
sti
candr isky.I'
m gonnasol dieron
ti
ll mor ningbuti fhet hi
nkshecant ri
ckmei nto
mar ryi
nghi mt henhehasanot hert hi
nkcomi ng.
Bot hhi m nedlozi l
akhe( andhi sancest or).Iwas
giv enaguestbedr oom byhi smom soIwas
abl etoshower .Iwasst artingt of eel mushyand
sticky .Ishouldn'thav elistenedt oMuzi when
hesai dIshoul dn'tpackandt hatIshoul donl y
bringmyv anit
ybag.NowIhav enot hingt owear .
Bef oreIt ookashower ,Iwassi t
tingwi thMai n
thisr oom af t
ersheshowedmewher e
ev erythingis.Wet al
kedandl aughedaboutal ot
oft hings.Includinghowdr amat icmymom i s
andhowMuzi oncewentona2dayhunger
strikebecausehespot tedananti nhi sfood
whenhewas8.Iwasf eelingal otbet terafter
wespoke.Shedi dn'tev enoncet riedto
convi
ncemet ostayandIappreci
atedthe
spaceshewasgivingme.Ihatebeingpressur
e
wit
hapassion.Sheleftmyroom withmy
cl
othestogoputthem int
helaundrymachine.

AfterIwasdoneshower i
ngIwashedmy
under wearandhungi t.Thet i
mewasar ounda
fewmi nutesbehi nd7.If eltweir
dwi thbeingin
j
ustat owel andnounder wear.I
'veheardt hat
there'sanumberofwomenwhowal kar ound
withoutit.Coul dnev erbeme.I '
m notjudging
butt hat'
sjustnotme.Asaki d,mymom was
alway sscoldi ngmei fIsatwi thmyl egswi de
open.Sheendedupbuy ingmet rousers
becauseIappar entl
ysatl ikeaboy .ButI
outgr ewthat .May bethiscomesf rom that.And
theshor tnessoft histowel i
snothel pi
ngmy
casei nanyway .
Anyway ,Iloti
onedmybodyandsatont hebed.I
haven'tbeenspeaki ngt oTumi t
hatmuch
becausei t'
sexam season.AndIdon' tev en
knowwher etost art.I
'l
lfi
llhiminwhenIgett o
mypl acebecauset hisneedsal engthy
phonecall.Istoodupandpackedmyt oilet
ri
es
backintomybagandt herewasaknockont he
door.Iwasexpect i
ngi ttobeMabecauseshe
saidshe'l
l bebackwhenI 'm donesoIshout ed
"Comei n!".I
twasn' ther.Heopenedt hedoor
andsai d"Sthandwasam ngi cel
a..
."(
Myl ovecan
youplease. .
.)
andt henpausedwi thhismout h
hungopen.If ast
enedmyt owelbecauseno
manhasev erseenmenaked.Orsemi nakedi n
thi
scase.Buti ti
sst il
lnakedt omebecauseI
fel
tli
kei t
.
Me:
Ucel
ani
?(Pl
easewhat
?)
Hej
ustkeptst
ari
ngatme.
Me:Ngi
..Hesaidthisandcl
osedhi
seyes
l
ooki
nglikehestr
yingsohardtor
emember
whathewasaboutt
ocel
a.Ist
oodt
her
ewai
ti
ng
f
orhimtospeak.
Hi
m:I
..
.Hesai
d.St
il
ltr
yingtot
hink.Whati
s
wr
ongwit
hthi
smantoday ?
Me:Whil
eyouthi
nk,canyoupl easegetme
somet
hingIcanbeabletosleepinbecauseI
di
dn'
tbri
nganyclot
hesthankst oyou.
Hi
m:Okayngi
yabuy
amanj
e.
Me:
Andunder
wear
!
Het urnedwi thsomuchspeedandl ookedat
mel ikeI '
m cr
azy.Hi seyest hendr oppedt omy
pubicar ea.Iwashi ghlyuncomf ort
ablewi thout
i
tandIknewIwasn' tgonnabeabl et osleep.I
alway sseewhenhel i
ftshishandsorbends
thathewear sthoseboy shor t
-li
keunder wear
I'
veoncehear dsomeonecal lbri
efsandIdi dn'
t
mindt hem.Isawt hisonsepar ateoccasi ons.
Hesl ightl
ysmi l
edandsai d"Okayt hen".It hen
said" Noboxer splease".Hel aughed, shakedhi s
headandl
eft
.

MacamebackandaskedmewhatI '
m goingto
eatbecauset
here'
sroast
edchicken,
beefstew
andsteak.Muzi
walkedinwit
ht hecl
othesin
hi
shandsbeforeIcouldr
espond.
Ma:Oh?Shesai
dwithanaughtysmil
e.Il
ooked
atMuziwi
thapuzzl
edfaceanditi
mmediatel
y
hi
tmewhatshewast hi
nki
ng.
Me:
Nonono.
.
Her:
Nono.It'
sokay
.Shesai
dthi
sandpur
sed
herl
ips,
for
mingasmil
e.
Muzij
ustlaughedandshakedhi
sheadi
nst
ead
ofcl
ear
ingthisconf
usi
on!
Ma:Wi
lli
tbechicken,st
eworsteak?Shesai
d
t
hiswi
ththesamef aceshehadon.
Me:
Thi
sisnotwhat
..
.
Her
:Chi
cken!
?Al
ri
ght
.Shesai
d.Shet
hen
walkedtowardsMuzi andstoodbyhissidewit
h
herbodyfacingtheopposi
tedirect
ionandher
eyesonhim, wit
hherhandshol di
ngeachother.
Shelookedatithimfrom t
opt otoeandback
up,insl
owmot i
on.Shesmil
edhar der
,tol
dme
tocomedownst air
swhenwe' redone,gotout
andclosedthedoor.

Muzi bl
ushedwithhi
sfacelooki
ngdownand
shakedhishead.Hethenheldouthi
shandsoI
cantaketheclot
hes.
Imar
chedtohi
m andgrabbedt
hem f
rom hi
m
andt
oldhi
mtogetout.
Hi
m:Ngenzenmanj
e?(
Whathav
eIdonenow?
)
Hesai
dthi
srai
singhi
shandsandl
aughi
ng.
Mw:
Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
yourmot
hert
hat
..
.!
?
Hi
m:Thatwhat
?
Me:
Etswa!
(Getout
)
Hecont inuedlaughi ngatmyf rustrati
on.I
endedupl aughingt oo.Hi slaught erisvery
i
nfect i
ous.Her aisedhi shandsi nsur renderand
l
eft.Iputonhi sbl ackt -
shirt, hi
sunder wearand
shorts.I'
m offi
ciallydiagnosi nghi m wi t
han
addicti
ont othecol ourbl ack.It ookt hewhi te
gownIf oundint hecupboar dsandputont he
sl
ippers.Gabot sekehot elengmo( I
'm actuall
yin
ahot elhere).

It
ookmyphoneandcal l
edMuzi
tocomefet
ch
mecauseIcouldn'
tgodownt
herebymy
self
.
Helaughedandcameup.
Me:
Remov
ethatsmi
l
efr
om y
ourf
ace.
Isai
dandlaughedatthef
actt
hatIwas
behavi
ngl
i
keat eenagegi
rl
.
Him:Whycoul
dn'
tyoucomebyy
our
sel
f
downst
air
s?
He'
sst
il
ll
aughi
ng.
Me:
Whati
fIbumpi
ntoy
ourwi
fe?
Hi
m:St
opbehav
ingl
i
keasi
dechi
ck.
Me:
I'
m act
ual
l
yone.
Me:
Act
ual
l
yno.I
'
m not
.
Isayt
histr
yingt
omakemywayt
othedoorand
hequi
cklybl
ocksme.
Him:Pleasegiv
eusachance?Ipromisetot
ake
careofyourheartandIwon'
tl
eti
tbreak.
Me:
Isn'
ti
tal
i
ttl
etool
atef
ort
hat
?
Hi
m:Thi
swasbey
ondmycont
rol
.Al
l
owmet
o
pr
ovemysel
f.
Me:
Whati
fwedon'
tgetal
ong?
Hi
m:WenanoMabuy
i?
Me:
Yes.Ihat
edr
ama.
Him:Ufananawe.Akay
ithandii
rass(
She'
sli
ke
you.Shedoesn'
tl
ikemakingnoi
se).
Me:
Letmet
hinkabouti
t.
Him:Okay.Butfort
herecor
d,I
'
llnev
erl
ety
ou
go.Whateveryoudeci
de.
Myhear tsmiledbutmymi ndi
mmedi at
elytol
d
i
ttositthefuckdown.Wewentdownst ai
rsand
haddinner.Madlaminiwasnotthere.Ikept
wonderingifshe'
sgoingtowalkin.Shedi dnot.

Dinnerwasni ce.Ev er
y bodywasgangi ngupon
Muzi ,
teasinghi m byt elli
nghi schildhood
stori
esandhedi dn'tl
iket his.Ifoundi tfunnyso
heendedupl aughingt oo.Af t
erwewer edone
eati
ng, t
heyal lwentupt ot heirseparater ooms
andIwasl eftwithonl yhi m.Hesuggest edt hatI
comesl eepwi t
hhi mi nhi sr oom.It oldhim not
totakechancesandl ef ttot heroom t hathis
mom assi gnedt ome.I twasnowar ound22h00
i
nt heev ening.Igoti nt heroom, gotont opof
thebedandswi tchedbet weenI nstagram and
Pinter
estbecauseIdi dn'tfeel l
ikespeaki ngt o
anybodyonWhat sAppbutIwasn' tsleepy .Ihad
expectedthatI
'dbelonggonebynowbecause
mywhol ebodywasi npainduetot
he
exhausti
onbutmyanxi et
ykeptmeawake.I
star
tedfeeli
ngthi
rst
yandt ext
edMuzi
thatI
neededwat er
.
Hi
m:Youknowwher
ethef
ri
dgei
s.
Argui
ngwithhim wasnotanopt ion.NotwhenI
wasthisti
redsoIdecidedtotakemychances
becauseevery
bodywentt osl
eepaccor di
ngto
myknowledgesot hi
sshouldn'tbethathar
d.

Iputonslippersandt ookmyassdownst airs.

WhenIgott ot hekitchen,IfoundMabuy i si
tti
ng
onthekit
chencount erstuffi
ngherf acewi t
ha
ver
yhugesl iceofchocol atewhi l
escroll
i
ngon
herphone.Sher ai
sedherheadandl ookedat
me.Isti
llcouldn'treadherf ace.Ifr
eezef ora
momentunt i
lIjustsawi tl
ogi calt
osay" Hi".
Her
:Sawubona.Shesai
dandsl
owl
yputher
f
orkdown.
Me:
Ijustcamet
ogetsomewat
er.
Her
:Okay
?
Iopenedt
hef
ri
dgeandt
ookoutbot
tl
edwat
er.
Istoodwiththef r
idgedoorstil
lopenforafew
seconds,wantingt ospeakbutIdecided
againsti
t.Idecidedtocloseitandleavei
nstead.
Her
:Boi
kokobet
so?
If
reezedbef
oresl
owl
ytur
ningt
owar
dsher
.
Me:
I'
m notgonnamar
ryhi
m.
Her
:Canwet
alk?
Shesai dandshegotup, takingherplat
eand
glassofor angejui
cewi thher .Shewasheadi ng
towar dst heli
v i
ngroom andIj ustst
oodthere.I
didn'tintendto.Mymi ndjustshutdown.She
turnedandsai d"Come? ".Ifollowedher
.Ifeel
l
ikeMuzi tr
appedmeandhewasgonnapayf or
thisbecausei ti
shellaawkwar d.
Wegott othelivi
ngr oom andsatdown.Sheput
allherfoodont hecof feetableandrepl
iedtoa
textonherphone.Iwasj ustl
ookingather
wonder i
ngwhatshehast osay.Iwasalso
readytocount er-
attackifshet r
iedanyt
hing
funny.Shel ockeditandputi taway.
Her
:Unj
ani
?(Howar
eyou?
)
Me:
I'
m..
.fi
ne.Iguess.
Idi
dn'
texpectt
hat
.
Her:Youmustpr obabl
ybethi
nki
ngthatIhat
e
you.Right?Shesaidandpi
ckedupher
chocolatecake.
Iexhal
edandsatback.
Me:
Idon'
tknow.Idon'
tknowwhatt
othi
nk.
Her:Angik'
zondi(Idon'
thateyou)
.Ihav
eno
reasonto.It
'sj
ust..
.Youjustcameata
completelywrongtime.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Her: Look,Ihav enopr oblem wi t
hy ou.Mymom
i
sal soaf ir
stwi fe.Thi
si sanor mt ous.AndI
knewwhatIwasget ti
ngmy selfintowhenIgot
mar ri
edt oapr i
nce.Howev er,Ihatet hestr
ess
thatthisiscausi ngmeandmybaby .Itmi
ghtbe
anor m butt hatdoesn'tmakei tanyeasierto
accept .Nowomancanccomf ortablywatchthe
manshel ovesl ovesomebodyel se.Especi
all
ya
manl i
kemi ne.
If
eltl
ikeIgotpr
ickedwithaneedl
eonmyhear t
whenshesaid"Mine".Howisthi
ssupposedt
o
work?
Her:
Whatdoyoumeanyouwon'
tmarryhi
m?
Areyouwi
l
li
ngtobesi
ngl
efort
herestofy
our
l
if
e?
Me:Whatdoyoumean?Icanalway
smeet
anot
hermanandstar
tov
er.Il
oveMuzi
butthi
s
i
snotgoi
ngtowork.
Her :I
tdoesn' twor kt
hatway .See, thi
sisnotthe
fi
rsttimesomet hi
nglikethishappensher ekwa
Khumal o.Althoughtheci rcumstancesar e
dif
f er
ent .Idon'tknowi fyouhav ebeent ol
dbut
appar ently,
somehundr edy earsago, awoman
refusedt of ol
lowanancest ralordertomar ry
i
ntot hisf amily.Sheev ent
ual l
ygotmar r
iedto3
dif
f er
entmen, whoal ldiedwi thi
nt hefir
stthr
ee
mont hsoft heirmarr
iage.
If
eltat
hickl
umpf
ormi
ngonmyt
hroat
.
Me:Whydoesi
tfeel
li
keIdon'
thav
eachoi
cei
n
al
loft
his?
Her
:Doy
oul
ovehi
m?
Me:Whyar
eyoupushi
ngmet
owar
dshi
m?Do
YOUlov
ehi
m?
Her:
Ilov
ehi
m.That
'swhyIdon'
twantt
olose
hi
m.
Ikeptqui
etforsomet
ime.Shedi
dthesamebut
duginhercake.
Me:
Doy
out
hinkt
hisi
sgoi
ngt
owor
k?
Her:
Idon'tknowy ou.Youdon'tknowme.Onl
y
ti
mewi l
ltel
l.Shewasav oi
dingeyecont
actas
sheate.
Me:
Isheagoodhusband?
Sheblushedbeforeshespoke.Thi
sisaboutt
o
geti
nterest
ing.
..

I
nsert16(
NB:
It'
sver
yshor
t.Admi
nhadahect
ic
day
)

Sheblushedbeforeshespoke.Thi
sisaboutt
o
geti
nterest
ing.
..
Her:Look,
obv i
ouslyourexperi
enceswon'tbe
thesameev enifwegetmar ri
edtothesame
man.Butforme, he'sver
ygentleandkind.He
doeshisbesttoavoidconfli
ctsandarguments.
Whi
chi
ssomet
hingIhi
ghl
yappr
eci
ate.
Ididn'tknowwhatt othinkabouthersay i
ngour
exper i
enceswon' tbet hesame.I sshe
suggest ingt hathe'sgoingtobel esslov i
ng
towar dsmeandmor et owardsher?Idon' t
knowi fI
'mt wi sti
ngherwor dsdeliberatel
y
becauseundernor malcir
cumst ances, we
shoul dn'
tev enbesi t
ti
ngandhav i
ngsucha
conv ersation.Myl if
eisgoingt obeempt ybut
yetpeacef ulwi t
houthim.AndIdon' tthink
there'sev ergoi ngtobeamanwhocanmake
mef eel li
kehedoes.Theset houghtswer e
fl
oodi ngmyal readyhotheadsoIdeci dedto
changet het opicbecauseitwasnev ergoingto
endni cely.
Me:
So.
..i
shet
henextki
ngi
nli
ne?
I
'm aski
ngthi
squest
ionbecauseIwast
old
Mabuy i
iscar
ryi
nganhei
rtothethr
one.
Her
:No.That
'sManqoba.Muzi
'
sjobi
stobui
l
d
thefamil
yempire.Hewasputi nschool andgot
trai
nedfori
t.Hehasmanagedt oopen4
branchesofMaloCon.Incindif
ferentpartsof
Southandhe'salsoplanningongoi ngglobal.
Bothofthem ar
epassi onateaboutt hei
rdist
inct
duti
esinthechi
ef t
aincy.
Thiswomansoundssopr oudofherhusband.It
kindahurtsmet hattherear
eal otofthi
ngsshe
knowsabouthi mt hatIdon'
t.Nevermindthat
shehasknownhi mf oryear
sandIf oronl
ya
week.Itjusthurt
s.Iwonderwhatshedoes.I s
sheahousewi f
e?IsohopeI '
m notgonnabe
forcedtostayathomeandbakebabi esshould
Idecidetoallowthismant omar r
yme.But
somet hi
ngdoesn'tquitemakesense.
Me:So,
whyi syourchi
l
dsupposedt
obeki
ngat
somepointandnotManqoba'
s?
Shewav edherhandnonchal
antl
yandsaid
Manqobaonlyhast wotwi
ngirl
ssoshe's
guessi
nghewon' tbehavi
ngboys.Shesaysshe
doesn'tknowthereal r
easonf orsur
e.This
famil
yi sahugemess.Apr opernyovadam!I
wantedt oaskmor equestionsbutthi
si snot
myf r
iendandI '
m notplanningonmaki ngher
one.Allofthi
sisnoneofmybusi nessany way.I
needtogetsomesl eepsoIcanbef r
eshf ort
he
road.
Me:
Okay
.Goodni
ght
.
Isaid,thenst
oodupandl ef
t,notleav
ingany
oppor t
unit
yforMrsKhumaloher etospeakbutI
couldfeelherey
espier
cingmybackasIkept
walking.

Igottothebedr
oom andhitmyheadagai nst
thepil
l
ow.Idon'tknowwhenandhowI
managedt osl
eepbutIdi
daf t
erIsetanalarm
for4am.ThesoonerIam outofherethebett
er.
Theal
armrangwheni
twasti
met owakeup
andIwassoannoy
edasi
fithadseti
tsel
f.ButI
managedt opul l
my sel
foutofbed.Ical l
edMuzi
becauseIneededmycl othesandheal so
neededt ogetready.Whil
et hephoner ang,i
t
thenhitmet hatwhatifhe'swi t
hhi swi fe?I
didn'
twantt oaggregatethi
swhol eYi zoYizo
anyfurther
.Ijustwantedtol eavewi thout
steppi
ngonanyt oes.Heanswer edinhi ssleepy
voicebeforeIcoulddropthecal l.Hisv oicewas
deeperandhesoundedr eall
yt i
redandl anguid.
Hi
m:Bambol
wam.Ar
eyouokay
?
Goodquest i
on.Thi
sismychancet ogethi
m
herebecauseIfel
treal
lyuncomfor
tabl
ewith
thethoughtofherl
ist
eningtousspeakoreven
wakingherup.
Me:
NoI
'
m not
.
Hesuddenl
ysoundedabi
tmor
eawake.
Hi
m:Kwenzenj
an?Ngiy
ezamanj
e.(
What
's
wr
ong?I
'
m comingnow)
Idr
oppedt
hecal
l
.
Hecameandknocked.Iwentt oopenbecauseI
di
dn'twanttoshoutandr iskwaki ngever y
body
up.I'
m notsureifthisroom issoundpr oof.He
gotinwithaconcer nedlookonhi sface.Hi s
eyesaresowhi t
eandsocl earbuttheyl ooked
sl
eepyandhekeptr ubbingt hem andbl i
nking.
Hewal kedtothebedandwentt ositonone
cornerandtappedhi ssidesoIcancomesi t
withhim.I'
venoticedthathel ikestoengagei n
conversat
ionswhi l
eseat ed.
Iwentt
hereandmyal ar
m wentoffagai
n.I
mostprobabl
ysnoozedit
.Iswi
tcheditof
f.
Hi
m: i
Alar
m eyani
ekseni
kangaka?
(Whati
sthe
al
armforthi
searl
y?)
Her:Iwantt
obat hbutIneedmycl ot
hes.They
gotwashedy est
erdaycanyoupleasetofind
them f
orme?Andal sogogetreadybecauseI
wanttoleav
e.Youpr omi
sedthatwe'
lll
eave
earl
y.
Him: Yes.Ear
ly.Hayi
ngeyinkat
hi
zabathakathi
.(
Notinthehappyhour
sof
witchcraf
t)
Me:
Ngi
ser
iousnj
alo(
I'
m ser
ious)
Isai
dandpoi nt
edmyf i
ngerathi
m.Hepull
edi
t
andkissedthebackofmyhand.Heyawned
aft
erwards.
Him:Youdon'tknowhowyoumakemefeel
eachti
mey ouspeakZul
u.I
t'
sli
kei
twasmade
j
ustforyou.
Il
aughedandsai
d"Hai
suka"
.
Him:I
sthi
swhyy ousai
dyou'
renotokay
?That
youwantt
oleav
e?
Me:Ididn'
twantust
owakey
ourwi
fewi
thour
phonecall
.
Her
oll
edhi
sey
esandt
hrewhi
shandsi
ntheai
r.
Hi
m: Ngi
lal
akanjani
noMadlami
niukhona
wenalaendl
in?
(HowdoIsl
eepwit
hMadl ami
ni
wheny ou'
rehere?)Iwouldnev erdisr
espectyou
l
ikethat.Mylov
e.Iaskedy out ocomesl eepin
thesamebedwi t
hmewanqaba( Yousaidno).
Soyout hi
nkI'
djustcallhert
obey ourstandby
j
ustbecauseIhav e"al
ternat
ives"nownj e
ngobaeshouMandl a?(.
..asMandl asays?)
Me:
Who'
sthat
?
Him: Phumalaphoakabal uleki
leuk'
dlul
alento
esi
fanelesiyi
lungisela.(
Forgetabouthim he'
s
notmor eimportantthantheissueweneedt o
addresshere.)
I'
veneverseenhi
mt hi
sseri
ous.ImeanIhave
butnotTHIScommandingitwasscaringme.I
j
ustkeptquiet
.Heseeminglynoti
cedmy
changeindemeanorsi
ncehedr oppedhis
shoul
dersandexhal
ed,taki
ngbothmyhands
i
ntohis.
Him:Bheka.Angik'
thethi
si(
Look.I'
m not
shout
ingatyou).I'
mj usthear
tbrokenbyal
lof
thi
s.Ev eryonei sl ookingati tinthe" Younow
haveopt i
ons"ki ndofangl eandi tpi ssesmeof f
becauseIcan' tbewi thyour ightnowsi nce
you'velockedy ourhear tinacaget haty ou
rat
tleeacht i
meIt r
ytocomecl oset of reeyou.
I'
m nev ergonnahur tyou.Iwi sht hingswer e
dif
ferentbutt hey 'renotandt here'snot hingI
candoabouti t.IfIknewear lierwhatIknow
nowIwoul d'vewai tedfory ou.Andi fIcould
handi nalltheser oyal r
esponsi bil
it
iesj usttobe
withyou, trustme, Iwoul d.ButIcan' t
.Sot ake
measIam becauseI 'mr eallytir
edand
exhaust edoft hiswhol ething.

Atearescapedmyey e.WhydidIhavetobethe
onetocarryBoi
kokobetsoRemof i
l
we
Motl
habane'scr
ossforsinsthatevenshedi
dn'
t
commit?
UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t17.

Igotdonebathingandpackedal lmyt hings

around05h17.Muzi cameknocki ngandsai d
he'sdone.Hewaswear ingashor tsl
eev edV-
neckt-shi
rt
,somecar goshor t
sandthose
stri
pedAdidassli
p-onsandles.Allbl
ack.Again.
Hewasdr essedli
keaboyandIf oundi tcute.
Hehasbeaut i
fulmasculinelegs.
Me:
Okay
.Let
'
sgo.
Wewentdownst air
sandbumpedi ntohismom
i
nhersi lkgownandsl i
pper
s.Shehadshoul der
l
ongr elaxedhairbutitwasamess.Shehada
glassinherhandandwasdr i
nki
ngmi l
k.She
tookasi pandt henstart
edtalki
ng.Muzi
touchedt heoutsideofhispocketsincl
udingt he
onesont hesidesandsaid"Ngiyabuya
manje"(I'
llbebackjustnow).Hepr obablyforgot
somet
hingupst
air
s.
Her
:Leav
ingal
ready
?Shel
ookedhear
tbr
oken.
Her:
OkayokayIwon'
tfor
cey
out
ost
aybut
pl
easest
ayforbr
eakf
ast.
Me:Ir
eal
lyhav
etogoma.Ihav
eal
otofwor
k
andpl
anni
ngtodo.
Sheexhaledandputherdrinkonsomesmal l
glasst
ableandraisedherhandsinshowt hat
shewantsust ohug.Icooperat
edandshehel d
ont omeforawhile.Shethengentl
ypattedmy
backthr
eet i
mesandwi pedthecornerofher
eyeswit
hherf i
ngers.I
sshecr y
ing?
Me: Dontwor r
yma.Ev eryt
hingwil
lsor
tit
self
out.Ijustneedsomeai randtimetomyselft
o
thi
nkaboutt hiswhol
et hi
ng.Shenodded.
Muzikay iseretur
neddownst air
sbuthewas
nowwal kingandlaughingwi t
hManqoba,who
wasi nhispaj amaswithanunf ast
enedgownon
topandsl i
ppers
Ma:
Aren'
tyousupposedt
obel
eav
ing?
Shewasdirect
ingthi
stoManqoba.Ili
stenedt
o
herandwonderedtomy sel
fwhythi
swoman
speaksEngl
ishwithsuchaperf
ectBri
ti
sh
accent
.HerZuluisfi
nethough.
Manqoba: Angiyi
einterv
iewmina.Angaz
bajahelephil
aba(It
'snotli
keI
'm goingtoan
i
nterview.Idontknowwher et
heset woar e
rushingto).Hesaidthi
sandtri
edt obrush
Muzi '
sheadi nanattempttomessuphi shair
.
Muzi duckedandpoi nt
edhim wit
hhi sfi
nger
andsai d"Yabonawenzanmanj e?"
(Seewhat
you'r
edoi ngnow? )
.ManqobalaughedandMuzi
said"Nxa".
Ma:Yekel
aukungihl
ukumezel
ainganeweh
Nat
hi.(
Stopabusi
ngmychildNathi
)
Shesai
dandlaughedli
ght
ly.Manqoba'
sother
nameisNat
hi?Ilovehownobodyherehasan
Engli
shname.I 'v
eneverunderst
oodthe
conceptofblackpeoplegiv
ingcaucasi
an
namest otheirki
dswhereasthere'
san
abundanceofAf ri
canandverymeaningf
ul
namest oplayaroundwith.
Mat hensmi ledtoMuzi andsai d"Wozaku
mama" ,want inghimt ohugher .Muzi protest
ed
andcompl ainedt hathe'
snol ongerababyand
thatsheshoul dstopt r
eatinghim assuch.
Manqobal aughedandsai d" Uyohleziuyi
l
astbor nlaph' ekhaya,Boykii
iii
e".Icouldn'
tstop
l
aughi ngatt his.Thisfami l
yisreallyabusi
ng
Muzi andi t
'shi l
ariousbecausehehat esit
.

Muzibentandarchedhi sbackforwardtohug
hi
srelat
ivel
yshortmot her.Ther
ewasnot hi
ng
wrongwithhist-
shirtbutshesti
llf
iddl
ed
ar
oundwi thand'f
ixed'it
.
Her
:Dr
ivesaf
elyandt
akegoodcar
eofher
.
Het
urnedt
olookatmeandsmi
l
ed.
Hi
m:Iwi
l
lma.
Her
:Al
ri
ghtBoy
kinazi
kama.
Her
oll
edhi
sey
esi
nannoy
anceandsai
d"Ahh
ma.
..
"
Heheldmyhand,t
ookmyhandbagandsai dwe
shoul
dgetgoi
ng.Weaskedthattheysay
goodbyet
ouBabaonourbehalfandthenleft
.

Theweat herwas' tthatcoldanditwasn'thot

eit
her.Muzi openedt hecardoorf ormeandI
gotin.Hewal kedaroundt hefr
ontofthecar
andal sogoti n.Hewentoutagai nandback
i
ntot hehouse.Hecamebackshor t
lywithfour
500ml bottlesofdr i
nki
ngwat er.Hetoldmet o
putmyseat bel tonashebuckl edhis.Ihate
seatbelts.Theysuf f
ocatemebutIknewbet ter
thant oar guewi thhim.Itneverends.Het ur
ned
onther adio, switchedtoMet roFM anddr ove
out.Ilookedoutthewi
ndowbutIcoul
dfeel
him
steal
ingglancesatme.

Hesuggest edwepassbyamal l sohecanget

mesomef ood.ItoldhimI 'm nothungr ybuthe
keptoni nsist
ing.Hef i
nall
ygav eupbecauseI
wasnol ongerreplyi
ngtohi m.Heswi t
chedoff
theradio.Hesai dhewant edtopl aymeasong.
Thetitl
eofi twas" NewEdi t
ion-Cany oustand
therai
n? ".Heplayeditfrom hi sphonev ia
bluet
oot h.I'
veneverhear ditbef ore.

"
Ooh.Yeah.Ooh
Onaper
fectdayIknowt
hatIcancountony
ou
Whenthat'
snotpossi
ble,
tel
lme,
cany
ou
weat
herthestor
m?
'
CauseIneedsomebodywhowi
l
lst
andbyme
Thr
ought
hegoodt
imesandt
hebadt
imes
Shewi
l
lal
way
s,al
way
sber
ightt
her
e
Sunnyday
s-ev
ery
bodyl
ovest
hem
Tel
lme,
baby
,cany
oust
andt
her
ain?
St
ormswi
l
lcome,
thi
sweknowf
orsur
e
Cany
oust
andt
her
ain?
Lov
euncondi
ti
onal
I'
m notaski
ngt
hisofy
ou
And,gi
rl
,tomakei
tlastI
'
lldowhat
everneeds
tobedone
ButIneedsomebodywhowi
l
lst
andbyme
Wheni
t'
stoughshewon'
trun
Shewi
l
lal
way
sber
ightt
her
eforme
Sunnyday
sev
ery
bodyl
ovest
hem
Tel
lme,
baby,cany
oust
andt
her
ain?Cany
ou
st
andi
t,oh?
St
ormswil
lcome,Iknow,
Iknow,
all
theday
s
won'
tbeper
fect
Thi
sweknowf
orsur
e.Butt
ell
mecany
ou
st
andi
t?
Cany
oust
andt
her
ain?
Cany
oust
andt
her
ain?
Canyoust
andt
herai
n?Nopr
essur
e,no
pr
essur
efr
om me,
baby
'
CauseIwanty
ou,
andIneedy
ou,
andIl
ovey
ou,
gi
rl
Tel
lme,
baby
,cany
oust
andt
her
ain?
Wi
l
lyoubet
her
eforme?
Comeon,
baby
,let
'sgogetwet
Cany
oust
andt
her
ain?Wi
l
lyoubet
her
e,gi
rl
?
Stor
mswi
l
lcomef
orsur
e.Cany
oust
andt
he
rai
n?"

Icri
edsomuchIdi
dn'
treal
isehehadstopped
thecaront
hesi
deoftheroad.Hehel
dmeandI
rai
nedonhi sshoulder .Whilethiswas
happening, hewasqui etbutstagnat l
yhadhi s
l
ipsonmyneck.Hef inall
yandsof tl
ysaidint
o
myear: "Ngiyak't
handa.Ngi yak'dinga.(
Iloveyou.
Ineedy ou).Allowmet ohavey ourheartandI '
l
l
showy out hatI'm mor ethancapabl eoft aki
ng
careofit.I
'llneverletitbreak.Ever."

UNEDITED.I
'
LLPOSTTHEOTHERHALF
TONIGHTORAFTER00H00.
I
nser
t17cont
inued.
..

Thesongwasonr epeatbutImanagedt ocalm

downandpul l
myshittogether .Istayedonhis
shoul
derasheheldmet ightlyinsilence.Iwas
wonderingwhatwasonhi smi nd.Iwasal so
enj
oyinghowgoodhesmel t.Muzi always
smell
sgood.Hehast hat'Youhav enochoice
buttolookatmetwiceifnott hreetimesor
more'scentthatmakeshispresencet
obefel
t
wit
houthim sayingaword.AndIwasst i
l
l
weari
nghissweat er
.Iev
entuall
ymanagedto
speak.
Me:
Muzi
?
Hi
m:Hm?
Me:
Idon'
twantt
oshar
eyou.Ican'
tshar
eyou.
Heexhal ed.Ifeltmyemot ionsst art
ingt oget
thebet t
erofmeagai n.Justthet houghtofhi m
makinganot herwomanhappy ?Thet houghtof
him ont opofher ?Thi swasenought oputme
i
napsy chiatri
cwar d.Myi nsecuriti
eswer e
acti
ngup.She' sdef init
elymor eexper ienced
thanme.Sheal readyknowswhi chbut tonsto
press.Whati fI'
m notabl etosat isfyhim
sexually?Whati fshe' sablet omakehi ml augh
harderthanIev ercoul d.May beIshoul djust
adoptacat ,
wal kawayf r
om thiswhol emess
andpr eparemy selfthatI'm gonnadi eal one.
ButMabuy isaidsomet hingt hatgotmet hinki
ng.
"Withi
nt hefirst3mont hsoft hei
rmarri
age" .
Mar ri
age?Mar ri
age?Icoul djustmeetsomeone
Iloveenought ospendt her estofmyl i
fewi t
h
andwe' djustdat eforther estofourli
ves
withoutgettingmar ri
ed.Thatwayhewon' tbe
recognizedtraditi
onall
ysot heancestorswon' t
beabl etotouchhi m.Ri ght?Myheadwas
l
iteral
lybuzzingwi thallthesequestionsand
possiblesolutions.Butev enifIdof i
ndhim, he
stil
lwon'tbePhakamani .

Him:OkaymfazikaMuzikayi
seKhumalo.
Ngenzenmakunje?Tj
elamina.(
Alr
ight
Muzikayi
seKhumalo'
swoman.WhatshouldI
do.Tell
me)
Isatbackonthecarseatandkeptqui
etwhi
le
thi
nki
ng.Hekeptlooki
ngatme.Iwantedtotel
l
himtodivor
ceherbutthatwoul
dbeev i
lofme.
Especi
all
ybecauseshenevergavemeany
reasont olookatherasanadv ersar
y.Hadshe
donet hat,shewoul dhavegivenmeenough
ammuni t
iontobr eakthem apart
.I'
venev er
beensoconf li
ctedinmyent i
reli
fe.Iaskedfor
water.Het urnedbackt ohi
sbackseatand
pull
edonebot tl
eandgav eittome.Idr ankup
andf el
tabi tbetter
.
Him: Baby
.Ngempel
angempelayou'
rewi
ll
ing
toletgoofwhatwehaveJUSTbecauseI
'
m
alr
eadymar r
iedt
oanot
herwoman?
Ikeptqui
et.
Him:Look, I
'm nev
ergonnatell
youhowy ou
shoulddigestandaddressyourpai
n,more
especial
l
ybecauseI '
mt heonewhoinfl
ict
edit
.I
shouldhavebeenmor ehonestwithyoubut.
.
Me:
Butwhat
?
Hekeptquietf
oraf
ewsecondsbef
ore
speaki
ng.
Hi
m:MQonceaskedmewhatmybi
ggestf
ear
i
sabout3/4.yearsbackbutIcouldn'
tanswer
hi
m becausenothingcametomi nd.
Iwaspuzzl
edastohowt hati
srel
atedt
owhat
wearespeaki
ngabouthere.
Me:
And?
Hi
m:NowIknow.
Me:
What
'sy
ourbi
ggestf
ear
?
Him: Losingyou.Ican'tloseyoust handwasam.
Wheny ouwalkawayf r
om me, youwoul d
definit
elybetakingahugepar tofmyhear twith
youandI '
m obvi
ouslynotgonnabeabl eto
functionhenceI'l
lneverletthathappen.I'm
goingt ogiveyouthet i
mey ouneedt odeci de
butonl ybecauseitwillmakey ouf eelbetter.
Buti nmyheadsesi shadil
emi nanaweIj ust
needt oputast amponi t .
Thi
sman!Icoul
dn'
thelpbutsmil
e.It
ri
edt
o
st
opitbutmysmil
egrewwider.
Him:I'
ll
makesurethatMadlaminist
aysoutof
yourwayandyourhouse.Justasmuchas
you'
ll
hav et
ostayawayfrom herst
oo.That'
sif
ubunganebuyanehl
ula.(
..
.y
allcan'
tbefr
iends)
.
Me:HowcanIbef
riendswi
tht
hewomanwho
knowsmymansexuall
yandot
her
wise?
Hesaid"I
sh!"andlookedoutthedoorasi
fIhad
droppedabombhenev erexpect
ed.He
bouncedbackthough.
Hi
m:Yi
nganuManoMaShanduwer
efr
iends?
Her
:Oksal
ayo.
HelaughedandsaidI'
vestar
tedwithmystunt
s.
Ihadsomanyquest i
onsandIwaswi ll
ingt
o
askthem,nomatterhowawkwar dtheymade
mef eel
.Hepur
sedhi sl
ipsandlookedatme.
Heli
kesdoingthi
s.
Hi
m:Wer
eyout
hef
ir
stper
sonshesl
eptwi
th?
Hepursedthem har
derandpoppedhi
sey
esi
n
conf
usion.
Hi
m:Uhm.
.why
?
Ibowedmyheadt omyt hi
ghsbecauseIdi
dn'
t
knowhowt ost
artexpl
aini
ngtheori
ginoft
his
quest
ion.
Him:Isee.Pleasedon'tt
akethi
sasa
competit
ion.That'
sthenumberont hi
ngthat'
s
gonnacauset hi
swhol ethi
ngtocol
lapse.Buti
f
youmustknow, no.SheandImetinStd9.
Whatyoupr obablyknowasgrade11.
Il
aughedathowoldt
hismadehim sound.He
l
aughedaswellandt
oldmetofocus.
Hi
m: Shewasn'
tal
lov
ert
hepl
acebutshe
wasn'
tnewtoit
.
Me:
Hav
eyouev
ercheat
edonher
?
Hi
m:I
'
m notpr
oudofi
tnowbuty
es.
Me:
Howmanyt
imes?
Hi
m:Hay
ibaby
.

Hesaidashet
ookabot
tl
eofwat
erandst
art
ed
dr
inki
ng.
Me:Al
ri
ght
.Howmanygi
rl
shav
eyousl
eptwi
th
t
hen?
Helaughedandalmostchokedonthewater.He
st
artedhi
tt
inghischestt
ostopthecoughi
ng.
Heclosedthebott
leandsatbackonhisseat.
Hetookhisphoneandchangedthesongto
Tevi
nCampbell'
sDandeli
on.Hebitt
hesideof
hi
slowerli
pbutnotinaseducti
vemanner.
Me:
Wel
l
?
Heturnedhi
sfaceli
kehewasshockedt
hatI
'
m
aski
nghimforthe2ndti
me.
Hi
m:Areyoureall
yreal
l
yreal
l
yreal
l
yexpect
ing
metoanswerthat
?
Me:Okay
.Whendi
dyoust
artdat
ingandhav
ing
sext
hen?
Hi
m:Iwas14.
Il
aughedandwasn' tsosureIshouldcar r
yon
wi
ththeconversat
ionany more.Hest opped
l
aughi
ngandsuddenl ylookedserious.Heput
hi
sheadagainsthi
sseatandt ookmyhand.

Him:Youdoknowt hatyoushoul
dn'tev
enbe
worr
iedthatyou'
veneverhadsexbefor
e.You
knowthatri
ght?
Me:
Hi
m:I
'
llt
eachy
ouev
ery
thi
ng.
Hehadanaughtysmi
ckonhisf
ace.Il
aughed
andqui
ckl
ytookmyhandbackt
hentol
dhimt o
l
eavemealone.
Me:
Hav
eyousl
eptwi
tha.
..
?
Hi
m:Awhat
?Sayi
t.
It
hinnedmyey
esandt
hreat
enedhi
m.He
l
aughed.
Hi
m:YeahIhav
esleptwit
havir
ginbef
orebuti
t
wasi
nmyteenageyear
s.Thr
eetimes.
Me:Howmanymot
her
sdoy
ouowecowsweh
Khumal
o?
Helaughedsohardandsaid"Angiybizanga
minainganezabotheysubmit
tedthemselves.
Onapl at
ter
."Hesaidthi
shandli
nghisgearand
st
arteddri
vi
ng.

Afterthel onghour si
nt heroadwef inall
y
arr
ivedi nPLK.Hesuggest edt hatheshould
sl
eepov erandt hathewi l
ll
eav etomorrow
mor ning.IknewIwoul dprobablygiveintohim
i
fhedi dsoIsai dno.Hedi dn'targuecausehe
knewhewast akingafatchancewi thme.He
sai
dhe' swal ki
ngmeupt omyapar t
mentt hen
andi twasn' tupfordiscussi
on.Wegotupt her
e
withmyhandbagi nhishand.Mynei ghbor
camedownf r
om upstair
swi thhislaundryon
hisshoulder.Hewas, asalway s,t
opless.Ithi
nk
he'soneoft heseskinnyniggaswhol i
keto
advert
isetheirabsandcan' tkeepat -shi
rton
formor ethan3mi nutes.Muzi '
ssmi l
eslowly
fadedwhenhesawhi m.
Mbel
o:Heyt
her
e
Muzi
:Ja
Me:
Heynei
ghbor
Mbelostar
tedlooki
nguneasybutst
il
laskedi
f
I
'm backfr
om home, maki
ngconver
sati
on.I
wantedtolaughbutIst
oppedmyself.
Me:
Yeahowhav
eyoubeen?
Muzi
:He'
sfi
ne.Masambe(
Let
'sgo)
Hetookthekeyfrom measIwast
ryi
ngto
unl
ockanddidithimsel
fwi
thi
nhal
fasecond.
Mbelogotthemessageandwenti
ntohi
sroom
andIal
sogoti
nmyapar
tmentaf
terMuzi
.
Icl
osedthedoorandthat
'swhenIbegan
l
aughing.Hekepthi
sseri
ousfaceandasked
mewhatwasf unny.
Me:
Whatwast
hatal
labout
?
Hi
m:Ihav
enoi
deawhaty
ou'
ret
alki
ngabout
.
Hesai
dasheputmyhandbagont hefl
oorand
mykeysonthecoffeet
able.Hesatdown.I
l
ookedathi
m withasmileandaninqui
sit
ive
l
ookonmyf ace.It
ookoffhissweat
erbecause
i
twasstar
ti
ngt oburnmeup.
Him:Yini
?Lesphukuphukusi
busysihamba
si
nqunuphambkomf az'
wam andyou'r
e
expect
ingmetosmi l
eandbrushhi
st hi
nst
upi
d
abs?
Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ngandsunkont
hecouchnext
tohi
m.
Me:
Sot
he6packsar
ethecauseoft
hiswhol
e
dr
ama?
?
Hi
m:Pshhhpl
ease.BabyIhav
e8.
Hesaidt hi
ssoar rogantl
yandt hr
ewof fhis
sl
idesfrom hisfeet.Icouldn'
thelpbutgeti nto
fi
tsoflaughter.NotthatIdidn'tbeli
evehim
becauseI '
veseent hem befor
ebutt hefactthat
he'
sstil
l j
ealousiswhatIdon' tquiteget.
Him: Oryouwantt oseethem?Hesai dthisas
hebentt owardsme, l
eani
nginf oraki
ss.He
kissedmeonce, pausedtolookmei ntheey e
andIwhi spered"
Ihaveseent hem bef
ore"
,
runningoutofbreathbecauseIbecomea
nervouswr eckwhenhest ar
tsbeinghishorny
self.
Hi
m:Buty
ouhav
en'
tfel
tthem.
Hewhi
sper
ed.Lor
d!(
Remov
ed)

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t18.

Thequot idianal armI '

vesetf or05h00wentof f
andasusual ,
itdrov emei nsane.Iswi t
chedi t
offandpul ledmybl ankethopi ngt ogetsome
mor esl eepi n.Justf or30mi nut es.Todaywas
aMondayandIwasi mmensel yexhaust ed.I
l
iterall
yf el tli
keIsl eptwithwei ghtsonmy
shoul ders.Ial sohadapoundi ngheadache.My
eyescoul dn'tst ayopen.Mywhol ebodywasn' t
funct i
oni ng.Iwasn' tfuncti
oning.My30mi nutes
elapsedwhi l
emybr aincellswer estil
lholdinga
boar dmeet ingi nmyhead, holdingmysl eep
host age.Ideci dedt hatI'
m gonnawakeupat
06h00anddomyt hingsasqui ckl
yaspossi ble,
whichal someantI 'm notgonnabeabl et oeat
breakf astorev enwat chthemor ningnews.I
wasokaywi thal lofit.Justasl ongasIget
somesl eep.
Aftersomet ime, whi chf eltl
ikeav erylongt ime,
Ifinallywokeuponmyownaccor d.Isatonmy
but tandst retchedmyhandshandswhi l
eI
yawned.Thet houghtt hatIwasmostpr obably
l
at ehi tmeacr ossmyf ace." Shit!
!".Igotupr eal
quickl yandcheckedt het ime.Itwas09h34.
Whydoest heuni versehat emesomuch?Iwas
nev erabul l
yi npr imar yschool andIal way sgive
thel adydownt hest reetmoneyf orbr ead
whenev erIcoul d.Sowhy ?Whydoest he
univ ersehat emet hismuch.Ial sosawt wo
mi ssedcal l
sf rom Muzi butIpretendedIdi dn't
andwentst raighttot heshower .It ookofmy
clothesont hewayt her e.Igoti nandt urned
bot hf aucetssoIcangett herightt emper ature.
Hotbutnotboi l
inghot .Icannev erbat hwi th
coldorwar m wat er.It'sasgoodasdoi ng
absol utelynot hingtome.Ir eachedf ormy
showergel andi twasn' tthere.Iremember ed
thati twasst il
l i
nmyhandbagi nt het oiletr
ybag.
NowIhadt ogetoutofher eandgogeti t.Great!
Justgreat!Onanor maldayt hiswoul dn'
tfuck
meupbutIl i
teral
l
ysunkdownt het i
l
ewall and
mybut thi
tthewetf l
oor
.DidInotcr y?Icr
iedso
muchIbeganf eel
ingaphy sicalpainonmy
heart
.Howandwhendi dmyl i
febecomesucha
mess?Whycan' thebemi ne?Mi nealone?
Kgantshooncesai donecannev erfi
nda
perf
ectman.Muzi is.Muziisper fect
.Hisonly
fl
awist hepossessionofamar riagecerti
fi
cate.

Myphoner angtwiceandIi gnor edit.Muzi said

hewi l
l gi
vemespacebuther ehei sdoingt he
compl eteopposit
e.Itrangagai n.Idecidedt o
takeat owelandgogeti t
.Itwasn' thim.Itwas
MrMoko.Cr ap!Isai
dasIcl enchedmyt eeth
togetherandfinal
lyfacedmycr imes.
Boikokobetsoisnotwel ltoday.Shei ssuf f
ering
from soulmatewithdrawal sympt omsbutt hat '
s
notwhatMrMokowant stohear .Sowear e
comingupwi t
hast ory.I'
m pulli
ngal lmy
conv
inci
nggunsoutt
odaybecauseIcan'
tl
ose
myjob.
Me:
Sir
.
Isai
dandcoughedter
ri
blyl
i
keTBhadcl
aimed
mylastdayonear
th.
Him:Motlhabane.Wherear ey ou?Youwer e
supposedtobet her
eint hemeet ingwit
h
Plug'
aways.Youknowv erywel l
thatt
heylove
consul
ti
ngwi t
hy ouintheirrebrandi
ng
campaign.Thisi
sunlikey ou!
For
gett
hatI
'
mjustaPAi
nthi
scompany
.
Me: Iam sososorrysi
r.Iwokeupwithabug.
I'
mr eall
ynotingoodhealt
handIwasafrai
dof
i
nfectingthewholeoff
icebecauseI
'
m notyet
surewhatI '
vecaught
.
Isaidandcoughedsomemor e.You'
dswearI
graduat
edCum Laudefrom Coughi
ng&Tussi
s
Academy .Heexhal
ed.
Him:Alr
ightI'
ll
lett
hisoneslide.Don'tletthi
s
happenagainandmakesur ey ougett hat
coughchecked.Bri
ngthepr oofonWednesday
i
fyou'r
ef eel
i
ngbetterbythen.Dor ecov er
.
Hesai
danddroppedt hecal
l
.Wheew!!NowI'
m
l
eftwi
ththedi
ff
icult
yofbuyi
ngadoctor'
snot
e.
I
'v
eneverdoneitbefor
esoIdon'
tknowwhere
t
ostar
t.

Iwi llgladlytaket hi
sasadayof fbecauseI
nev erev enwant edt ogot owor ki nthef i
rst
placebutI 'm gonnaputt hisdayt ogooduse
anddot helaundr y.Itakeoutmybasketand
headt ot hekitcheni nmypy jamas.Ipl ugsome
wat erf orcoffee.Whi l
eitboils,Iputthel aundr
y
i
nt hemachi ne.Ineedabi ggermugt his
mor ningbecauseI '
mf eel
ingl i
keawal ki
ngand
talkingcor pse.Acr appycor pse.
Aft
erI'
m donemaki ngthecoff
eeItakeouta
boxofrusksf r
om thecupboar
dbecauset hi
s
gi
rli
snotmaki nganyproperbreakf
asttoday.I
don'
thavet heamountofenergyrequi
redto
complet
et hattask.
Themachi nedoeswhati twasi nventedforasI
sitmyassont hecouchandcr ossmyl egson
thecoffeet abl
e.Mymom doesn' tli
kepeople
whodot his.Ialsodidn'tunti
lIreali
sedthatlif
e
i
st ooshor t.Youcoul dbewel l
-manner edand
good-hear t
edal lyourli
feonlytoenduphav ing
tomar ryamar ri
edman.Myphoner ang.I
reject
edt hecal landswi t
cheditoff.

Thetimewasnowar ound12h00.It ookmy

basketandwalkedupt otherooftopwhereour
washingli
neissit
uated.I'
mv erygratef
ulf
or
thi
ssetti
ngbecauseLor dknowsIwoul dn'
tbe
atpeacewithleav
ingmycl othestohang
outsi
de.
Igett hereandst arthangi ngallmywhi t ei
tems
fi
rst.Iwascl i
ppingapegont hecor nerat -shi
rt
whenIsuddenl yfeltli
ket here'ssomeone
wat chingme.I 'vebeenl iket hisev ersinceIwas
aki d.IfIhappent ofeellikether e'
sey esonme
thent here'sdefinit
elyeyesonme.Iqui ckl
y
turnedt oseewhoi tisandt her ewasnoone.
Hmm.St range.May bemymi ndi splayingtri
cks
onme.Ihal l
ucinateal otwhenI 'm stressed.So
Iignorei t
.

Aft
erI
'
m done,It
akemypegsackandt hrowi t
i
ntheemptybasketandheaddownstai
rs.Iget
i
nmyr oom andl
ock.St
andardpr
ocedure.
Igotali
tt
lesun-burntwhenIwasatt her ooft
op
soIdefi
nit
elyneedashower ,apropershower .
Butfi
rst
,Icl
eanupal lthemessImadei nthe
kit
chenwhenIwasdoi ngl
aundry.Iwipedt he
tabl
etopandthewashi ngmachineandput
every
thi
ngwher eitneedstobe.Iswitchedon
myphoneandwasmetbyamessagef rom
Muzi.Hesenti tatthetimeIr ejectedhiscal l
.It
read"Babypl easetalktomeI '
m goi nginsane
here.Atleastletmeknowi fyou'reokayandI '
ll
l
eav eyoualonef ortodayIpromi se."Imar kedit
asread,putmyphoneont hechar gerandwent
tomyr oom togetcl eanedup.It ookt hemuch
neededshowerandgoti nt
ot-shirtdressand
sli
ppers.Iwasr unningawayf rom itbutf i
nall
y
mademybed.Ican' tst
andanunt idyplace
whenI '
m clean.

Ispenttheenti
redaywat chingmov iesand
doingabsolut
elynothingwor t
hwr i
ti
nghome
about.Mymom cal ledandIhesi t
ated
answeri
ngt hephonebutbecauseIknewshe
wasgonnawal kher eifIkeptignor
ingherIhad
nochoice.Iswear,i
fIwasabr and,havi
ngno
choicewouldmysl ogan.
Me:
Mama?
Her
:Mybabygi
rl
.
Justhearingherv oi
cemademef eell
i
keshe
wassocl osey etsofaraway .Farawayt ohelp
meoutoft hi
smess.I t
'samessbecauseIl ove
amanwi t
hmywhol ehear tbutI'm notwilli
ngto
sharehim.Idon'tdeservehim anymor et han
GugudoessoIwon' tfightfortheirseparation.
It
'snotinme.I '
m notthatwoman.Al lthese
thoughtsweref l
oati
ngi nmymi nduntilI
real
izedthatmymom i sstil
lont heli
neandI
wasn'tli
steni
ng.
Her
:Fi
l
we!
?
Me:
Ma?
??
Her
:Whati
sthepr
obl
em mybaby
?
Me:
I'
mfi
nemama.
Her
:Ther
eisnobodywhoknowsy oubet
ter
t
hanIdo.Notev
enMoratoa.Sooutwit
hit.
Mymom cal
l
sTumi
Mor
atoa.Ihav
enoi
dea
why.Al
lIknowisthatt
heyareverycl
ose.So
cl
osethatt
heyevencalleachot
hersometimes.
Me:
Ahmama
Isai
dandexhal
ed.Icoul
dn'
tfi
ndt
her
ight
words.
Her
:Buat
lhemma(
Speak)
Shesoftl
ysai
d.Mymom'svoicesoot
hesmy
hear
t.I
thonestl
ymakesmefeelli
kenothi
ng
canhurtme,j
ustasl
ongshestaysontheli
ne.I
coul
dn'
tkeepiti
nanymor
e.Ibrokedown.
Her
:Leti
tal
loutmybaby
.Leti
tal
lout
.
Mymom i
sdr
amati
cbutwhenitcomest
omy
f
eel
i
ngsshei
sal
wayspat
ient
.
Me:
Ican'
tmama
Icr
iedl
ouder
.
Her
:Okasekgoneeng?(
Whatcan'
tyoudo?
)
Me:
Ilov
ehi
m.
Isobbed.
Her:
Ifhe'st
hereasonbehi
ndt
heset
ear
sthen
youprobabl
yshouldn'
t.
Ikeptqui
te.I
'
m notsurei
fIwanthert
oknow
thi
sbecausemymom hat esany
bodythathur
ts
mei nanyway,shapeorf
orm.
Her
:I'
l
lbetherebai
evr
oegkaosane.(
..ear
lyi
n
t
hemor ni
ngtomorr
ow).Aker
?(Al
ri
ght?)
Myhear tj
umpedforj
oy.All
Ineedi
stobehel
d
byher.Nothi
ngmore.Iagr
eedandshet
oldme
thatshehastogocookthenwesai
dour
goodbyes.

Muzical
ledandIwashonestl
yti
redofr
eject
ing
hi
scall
splusapar tofmewant
stospeakto
hi
m.Isli
dmyf ingeracr
osst
hephonescreen
andputthephoneonmyear.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Hi
m:ThankGod!Ar
eyouokay
?
Me:
Per
fect
lyf
ine.Howar
eyou?
Hi
m:Ineedt
oseey
ou.
Me:
Nothappeni
ng.Andshoul
dn'
tyoubeJHB?
Hi
m: I
'm notl
eav
ingt
hispl
aceunt
ilwe'
vesor
ted
t
hisout.
Me: LookIneedtogogetmylaundrybefor
eit
getstoodarkother
wiseket
lotshaba(
I'
ll
get
afr
aid)
Itwasnowar ound18h30.Therooft
opiskinda
creepybecauseit
'st
ooqui et
.Myhairst
andsin
suchplacesplushowIfeltwhil
eIwasupthere
thi
safter
noondideveryt
hingbuthel
p.
Hi
m:Takemewi
tht
heny
ou'
l
lbef
ine.
Me:
Takey
ouwi
th?
Him:Yeahlet
'scar
ryont
alki
ng.Youwon'
tthi
nk
abouti
ttoomuch.
Ididashesai dandwentt of etchmyl aundry
whiletalki
ngtohimt hr
oughear phones.Hewas
maki ngjokesandIcouldn'tresistl
aughing.I
f
yout hi
nky ouknowwhatmi xedemot i
onsare
thenI '
vegotnewsfory ou.Hewasr ightt
hough.
Ifetchedallmylaundrywitheaseandnotev en
oncedi dIthi
nkaboutmysur roundings.

Igott omyr oom andpackedmyl aundryinto

mydr awers.Muzisaidhe'sonhi swayher e.I
tri
edt ostophim buthowdoy ouev enget
throught osomebodywhohasear smeantonl y
fordecor at
ivepurposes?Theonl yreasonwhy
hehadt hem i
sbecausemot hernat uredi
dn' t
wanthi mt olookwei r
dwi t
houtt hem.Iwas
sit
tingonmymake- upchairfacingmywhi te
chestofdr awers.Imanagedt opackandput
everythingawayt i
ll
Iwasl eftwithonl ymy
under wear.Thebottom drawerwast heonl y
onel eftopenbecausei twasmeantf orthis
purpose, underwear .Ialwaysf oldmypr i
vate
garment snicelyt ocreateaneatspace.AsI
wasdoi ngt his,Inoticedthatmyf avourit
eblack
andl aceundi eswer enotpar toft hepack.I'm
verycertainIputi ti
nt hemachi nethismor ni
ng
andIsawmy sel
fhangi ngitont hewashi ngline.
Iwaswel lawar eoft hi
s.Am Ihal l
uci
nating
mor ethanIusual l
ydowhenI '
m st r
essed?
May bet hi
swhol eMuzi Gugut hi ngisindeed
drivi
ngmeupt hewal l
.Muzi calledandsai dhe's
downst airswhenIwasst i
lltry
ingt oputt he
piecesoft hispuzz l
et ogether.
..

UNEDI
TED.EXCUSEANYERRORS.
I
nser
t19.

Idon'
tknowwhi choneI'
m morewor ri
edabout.
Thefactthatmyunderweari
smi ssingorthat
myment alheal
thmightbedeter
iorati
ng.Ther
e
wasaknockonmydoorandIj ustknewi twas
him.Iputonmysl ipper sandwentt ogett he
door.Hehadchangedcl ot
hes.Hepr obably
boughtt hem herebecausehedi dn'
tpack
anythingwhenwel eftKZN.Hewaswear i
nga
simplewhi tet-
shirt
,blackjeansandhi sslip-
ons.
Hecannev erbecaughtwi thoutawat ch.Muzi
i
sef fortl
esslybeauti
ful andsexy.I'
m say i
ng
beautifulbecausetherear ehandsomeandt hen
therear ebeauti
fulmen.Iwasn' tsurprised
though.Wi thparentslikehishowcoul dhenot
l
ookl ikethis?

Ilethi
mi nandhecamet ositonthecouch.I
tri
edsitt
ingbesidehi m butheputhishandon
theseatandIsatoni tinst
ead.Hepushedme
upsoIcanst and.Ilookedasideandroll
edmy
eyes.HepulledmesoIcansi ti
nbetweenhis
l
egsandusehi srightlapasachair.Idi
dso
withoutanydissent.Imeantitearl
ierwhenI
sai
dIhavenoenergy.I
'
m evensurpri
sedI
managedtogetthr
oughall
myl aundry
.He
removedwhatev
erhewasseeingonmychi n
andst
artedt
alki
ng.

Hi
m:Unj
ani
?
Iexhaledanddr
oppedmyshoulders.Hisey
es
keptdarti
ngonandoffmylegsbecausethi
s
dressgetsshor
terwhenI
'
m seated.Itol
dhim
I'
mt i
red.
Hi
m:Iknow.
Webot hkeptquietf
oralit
tlewhil
e.Hisphone
rangashewasaboutt osaysomet hing.Hehad
putitonthearmrestal
ongwi t
hhiscarkeys
whenhesatdown.Het ookitandansweredthe
call
.Thecall
erI.
Dwaswr i
tt
en"M Queue".I
twas
Manqoba.
Hi
m: Bafoangi
jol
inawemus'ukungfounel
a
wonkelamalangaung'bangel
aiscef
e(Weare
noti
narelat
ionshi
pbrast
opcal
l
ingmeev
ery
dayyou'
regett
ingonmynerv
es)
MQ:
Hay
ifusegukephi
?(.
..wher
ear
eyou?
)
Hi
sspeakervol
umewashi ghert
hanusual
t
odaysoIcouldhearManqobabutvaguel
y
Him: Kushakuphi mhl ampe? Akekhoof il
e
angithi
?You'renotst uckany wher eandakekho
ok'khombengesbhamu.Angi t
hi????If
i
mpendul oy awonkel emi buzongu" cha"then
qcofauonel aphoususal eukhul umawedwa.
(Isanythi
ngonf i
remay be?Nobodyi sdead
ri
ght?...
.andt hereisn'
tany bodythat'spointi
ng
agunaty ou.Correct???Iftheanswert oal l
thesequest i
onsis" No"thenpr ess1t hereso
youcanst ayont hel i
nespeaki ngt oyoursel
f.)
Manqobal
aughed.Muzi
smi
l
ed.
MQ:Ngi seri
ousnjal
o.Ngilaendl
i
n.Ukephi
boy
kii
ie?(I'
m ser
ious.I
'm her
eatyourhouse.
Wherearey ouboyki
ii
e?)
Him: Netforl
elogamal el
o,langik'
bamba
khonakuzov uth'umli
longaphansikwamanzi
ngiyak'
tshel
amf anawam.(Justbecauseofthat
name, fi
reisgoingtostar
tunderwat erwhenI
catchyoumyboy ).
MuziandIlaughed.I
fIdidn'
tknowbet
terI
'
d
l
it
eral
lybesurethesetwoarethesameagethe
waytheydi
srespecteachother.
Muzi:Letyourselfi
nli
keyoualwaysdobut
ungayithi
ntii
FridgenePSy ami
(.
.don'
ttouch
myf r
idgeandmyPl ay
stat
ion)
Him agai
n:Anduy ekel
'ukung'tshont
shelaama
condom wenajouswi ne.Zidur
akabi l
ezo
zi
nto(andstopsteali
ngmycondomsy our
swine.Thoset
hingsar ebloodyexpensiv
e.)
Manqobal
aughedhy
ster
ical
l
y.Muzi
cutt
hecal
l
.

Ij
ustl
ookedathim andlaughed.Itol
dhimI
l
ovehi
srelat
ionshi
pwithhisbrothereven
thoughI'
m cer
tai
ntheygav
ethei
rmom a
headacheaskids.
Hi
m:Youhonesl
ythi
nklembuziy
inganekama?
(
..
mymom gavebir
thtothi
sgoat
?)Haibo
Hesai
dandwel
aughed.
Him: I
'm kiddi
ngman.Wegr ewupi nt hesame
housebutwear enotf r
om t hesamewoman
alt
houghwel ookedatbot hourmot hersasone
buttheyhaddi ff
er entroles.Mai stheadv i
ce
wizard.Everybodyi nthehouser unstoher
whent hi
ngsgol eft.uMommyy enawast he
mot herhen.Maki ngsur eev er
ybodyhaseat en
andcl eanedup.Shewasal sothepeace- maker
i
nt hehouse.Mascol dedusal otwher eas
uMaShandual l
owedust ogetawaywi thalotof
thi
ngs.

Whichremi
ndsme.I
'
veal
way
swant
edt
oask
hi
mt hi
s.
Me:Whydoesy ourmom speakEngl
i
shwi
tha
Br
it
ishaccent
?
Hel
aughedl
i
ght
ly
Him:Shespental lherhighschoolandvarsi
ty
year
sint heUK.Shekeepssay i
ngifshedidn'
t
havether esponsi
bili
tyofabeingaqueenshe
wouldjustpermanent lymovether
eandcome
toSAonl yforvisi
ts.Shewantedtowhen
MaShanduwasst illwit
husbutherhusband,
thewholef amil
yandt heenti
recommuni t
ysaid
no.
Me:
Theyl
oveher
?
Him:Toomuch.She'
sev er
ybody
'ssweet
heart
.
She'
snotonl
yanadvicewizardi
nthehouse.
Evenint
hecommunitytoo.
Me:
She'
sni
ce.Il
oveher
.
Hi
sey
esgl
i
stenedandbeamedashesmi
l
ed
Hi
m:Yeahshei
s.
Me:
Youandy
ourdadar
enott
hatcl
oser
ight
?
Him: Notreal
l
y .He'sagreatf
atherbuthe'
sver
y
str
ict.Hehashi steddybearmoment sbutt
hey
don'tlastf
orthewhol eday.
Me:
Doy
ouhav
eot
hersi
bli
ngs?
Him:Anelderbr
otherf
rom MaShanduanda
babysi
sterfr
om mymom.
Me:
Wher
ear
ethey
?
Him:Babysi
sisatCPTandmybrot
hermov ed
totheUKaft
erhecompl
etedhi
saccount
ing
studi
es.
Hisfami lydy namicsar einteresting.Icould
l
istent ohim speakf orthewhol eday .I
t'
sjust
thatIhav eal otonmymi ndr ightnow.I '
mv er
y
wor r
iedaboutmyunder wear .IswearIsaw
my selfhangingi tthismor ning.Andwhyi sitthe
onlythingt hat'
smi ssing?Inot i
cedt hatIwasno
l
ongerl isteni
ngwhenMuzi wasl aughingbutI
hadnoi deaatwhat .Hewentqui etandhis
smi
l
efaded.Al
ookofconcer
ngr
ewonhi
sface.

Him:Babyispol
ygamythatbadt
hatitmesses
youupthisway?Awukholanamiphelawena.
(
Yourmi ndi
sfaraway)
.
Me:
Hm?
Hi
m:Outwi
thi
t.What
'st
hepr
obl
em?
Me:
It'
snot
hingr
eal
l
y.
If
akedasmi
l
e.Hedi
dn'
tret
urni
t.
Him:NowI'm sur
ethatt
hisi
sn'
taboutGugu
becausei
fitwasyouwould'
vesai
dit.
Ikeptqui
et.
Hi
m:Khul
umaphel
a(Tal
k!)
Hewasget
ti
ngi
mpat
ient
.
Him:Idon'
twantt ofor
cei
toutofyoubecause
you'
redefi
nit
elygonnaenduppregnanti
fIdo.
Il
aughed.He'
snut
s.Iexhal
edandj
ustdeci
ded
t
otel
lhi
m ev
ery
thi
ng.

Hewasl i
steni
ngtomequietl
yandnoddi
ngasI
nar
ratedwhathadhappenedtoday
.Thef
rown
onhisfacekeptgr
owing.
Hi
m: Idon'twantt
oscar
eyoubuty
ouhav
ea
st
alkerbaby.
Myheartstopped.Thist
houghtwasattheback
ofmyheadbutIdi dn'
twanttoent
ertai
niti
n
feart
hatImightattr
acti
tint
omanifest
ati
on.
Him:You'
renotsleepingher
etoni
ght
.Gopack
yourbagwe'
releaving.
Me:Ican'
tcomewit
hyou.Mymom saidshe'
s
goi
ngtobehereear
lyi
nthemor
ning.
Hi
m:Okay
.ThenI'
m sl
eepi
ngher
e.I
'
lll
eav
e
t
omorr
owbefor
eshearri
ves.
Me:
Ican'
tri
skherf
indi
ngy
ouher
eMuzi
.
Hi
m:What
'ssowr
ongwi
tht
hatany
way
?
It
urnedandl
ookedathi
m.Hashel
osthi
smi
nd?
Hesai
d"Okayokay"andt
ookhi
sphone.
Me:
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
Hedidn'tanswer
.Hescr
oll
edi
nhisphonebook
andcall
edanumbersavedas"Baf
ana".He
answered.
Bf
n:Bozzay
am.
Hi
m:Gr
and?(
Youokay
?)
Bf
n:Kabi
kabi
(Ver
ywel
l
).Wena?
Hesoundedli
keav
eryr
elaxedandchi
l
led
humanbeing
Hi
m: Bhekaman,
doy
ouhav
eoper
ati
ons
ar
oundPLK?
Bf
n:Yessi
r
Bf
n:But
..
.whenwi
l
lyouneedmyhel
p?
Hi
m:Assoonasy
est
erday
.
Bf
n:I
sh.
..
Hi
m:I
'
llpayy
oudoubl
ethepr
ice.
Bfn:Nahmanit'
snotaboutthaty
ouknowI
al
way scomethr
oughf ory
oubutthi
sisshor
t
noti
ce.Ver
yshortnot
ice.
Hi
m:Tr
ipl
ethepr
icet
hen.
Bf
n:R150K!
?
Him:Yekel'
ukung'moshelai
skhathung'
tshel
ukut
huy angsizanomacha?(Stopwasti
ngmy
ti
meandt ell
mei fyou'
rehel
pingmenot?)
Bf
n:Gi
vemet
womi
nut
es.
Hi
m:Sho.

Me:
Whowast
hat
?
Him:You'r
egonnabesaf e.Don'
tworry
.Yoursi
s
toj
ustkeepy ourdoorl
ockedalr
ight
?I'
m gonna
sortt
hisout.
Hesai
dandki
ssedmeonmyl
i
ps.Hi
sphone
r
ang.Hepi
ckedi
tup.

Hi
m:Sho?
Bfn:Al
lsy
stemsgo.Wenajustsendt
hepi
ctur
e,
phonenumberandthel
ocati
on.
Hi
m:Nj
ayam.(
Myman!
)
Theycutthecall
andhegotup.Heki ssedme
onmyf or
eheadandsaidhehast oleave.I
wantedtoaccompanyhim downstai
r sbuthe
i
nsist
edIstayintheapar
tmentandl ockafter
hegetsout.ButwhoisBafana?

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t20.

Idi
dasMuzisai
dandlockedthedoor
.Icoul
dn't
hel
pbutf
eel
creepedoutbythi
swholesit
uat
ion.
Isuddenl yf el
tli
keheshoul dn'thav eleft.Itwas
hotbutIwentt oqui cklycl oseal lmywi ndows
andcur t
ains.Ibar elyuseacool ingf anbecause
i
tt r
iggersmysi nusi t
is.Butdi dIhav echoi ce?
Asal way s,no.Itooki toutofi t'
sboxand
switchedi ton.Iwentt ot hefridgeandt ookout
ajugofor angej ui
cet hatIhadputi nt herel ast
night.Ipour editintoagl assanddownedal lof
i
tatonego.Idon' thav ewi neher eandIcan' tgo
outt ogeti t.Whati fthismy steriousper son
want stot raffi
candhar vestmybodypar t
s?We
hearaboutt heset hingsev erydaybutwenev er
taket hem t oheadunt i
lwef i
ndour selv esi na
potent i
all
yl i
fe-
threat eningsi tuation.Iser i
ousl y
needt hatbot tl
eofwi ne.

IdecidedtocallTumibecauseIneededa
dist
racti
on.Iwasn'tpl
anningontel
li
nghi
m
aboutthisbecausehewasgoi ngtopani
cand
recr
uitmymot heraswell.Idi
all
edandhe
pi
ckedup.
Hi
m: Machommiechommi
e.Mal
aisha-
lai
sha.
Matl
akal
ahet
hiy
a.
Heanswer
edandsang.
Me:
Arey
ouev
ergoi
ngt
ogr
owup?
Hi
m:Forwho?Forwhat
?Whatf
or?
Il
aughed.He'
sany
thi
ngbutnor
mal
.
Hi
m:Okaemonnawar
ena?
(Wher
e'sourman?
)
Me:
Heee.Mpot
sise(
Askme!
)
Hi
m:Spi
l
l.Thet
ini
saboutt
oexpl
ode.
Me:
He'
smar
ri
ed.
Hi
m:So?
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanso?
Ican'
tbel
i
evet
his.
Hi
m:Sowhat ?Mpont
shemonnaoakgilweng
mohl
areng(
Showmeanymant hatwasonce
pi
ckedf
rom at
ree)
.
Me:
I'
m bei
ngser
ious.
Hi
m: Kadlalaman.Mar ri
edmenar e'
anogo'
ar
ea.He'l
ljustpreachthathe'
sgoingt oleave
hi
swifefory oubutitwil
lneverhappensi si
.
Et
swakomeet singpelegafaagobel elako
maotong.(Getoutofthewat erbefor
ei tboi
ls
onyourfeet)
.
You'dswearhe'
stswanaf
rom t
hemanneri
n
whichhespeaks.
Me:
It'
snott
hatsi
mpl
e.
Him:Ohdear!Shehascaughtf
eeli
ngs.Feel
ings
havebeencaught.May
daymay day
,heartbr
eak
doyoucopy?
Il
aughed.I
'
m sur
roundedbyi
diot
stobehonest
.
Me:
It'
snott
hatsi
mpl
e.
Hi
m: You'
readv
ocat
ingf
orsi
de-
chi
cki
sm?
Honestl
y?
Me:
Say
sthechai
rper
son
Hi
m:I
syoume?Mei
syou?
Me:Ther
e'ssangomasandanci
entpr
omi
ses
i
nvol
vedIdon'tknowwher
etostar
t
Him:Ha!Omoj
i
sit
se!
?(Yougav
ehi
m al
ove
port
ion?
)
Me:
Arey
ounut
s?
Hi
m:Ker
eng?(
WhatcanIsay
?)
Acommot i
onst
art
edinthebackgr
oundandI
j
ustf
igur
edhe'
satschool.
Him:BabelookI
'm gonnacally
oubackokay
?I
gott
ago.Kegoratarati
i
,makhwaphenikewena.
(Il
oveyousomuch, si
dechick)
Ir
epl
i
ed"
mci
i
m",
laughedanddr
oppedt
hecal
l
.

TherewasaknockonmydoorandIfroze.
Surel
yifi
twasMuzihewoul
d'
vecal
led.He
alway sdoes.Pl ushewoul dn'
tscar emet his
wayknowi nghowdel icatet hissituat i
onis.I
j
ustst oodt hereandkeptqui et.Theper son
knockedagai nandIst i
l
l didnotr epl y.The
per sont ri
edt oturntheknobandf oundi t
l
ocked.It iptoedtot heki tchenandt ookthe
l
ar gestkni fef r
om thekni fest and.I fsomebody
hast odi et oday,somebodyi sgoi ngt odie.And
thatper soni snotgoi ngt obeme.Ihel don
ti
ght lytothekni feandwentt ot akemyphone
from t hecouchandt extedMuzi .Iwr ot
e
"Somebodyi satmydoor "andhecal l
ed
i
mmedi ately.Isil
encedt hecal lbecauseIdi dn'
t
wantt hisper sontoknowI '
mi nher e.Iwasn't
ev ensur et heywer estil
l atthedoorany more.
Muzi keptcal li
ng.Iwentt omybedr oom and
answer edt hecallinawhi sper .
Me:
Pleasecome.
Ibegancr
ying.I
tsoundedl
i
kehewasdr
ivi
ng.
Hi
m:Ng'
sendl
elenbaby
.Fornow,
pushy
our
coucht
owar
dsy
ourdoorandbl
ocki
t.Ngi
yez
a.
Isaidokayandwi pedmyt ears.WhohaveI
wrongedont hisplanet
?Ifthey'
rest
il
lal
i
veI'
m
readyandwill
ingtoapologize.

Ipushedt hecouchasMuzi suggestedandI

waited.Thet imewasnow22h44andIst il
lhad
theknifeinmyhand.Ti ghtl
ygrippingoni t.He
arri
vedbuthedi dn'
tknock.Hej ustsentmea
texttell
ingmet oopent hedoor .Thecouchwas
diff
iculttopulli
tbackwar dsandawayf rom the
doorbutImanaged.Iopenedt hedoor .He
quicklygotinandt ookmei nhisar ms.Icr ied
sobadl yhekeptsay ing"ShhhshhhI 'm her e
now"andbr ushingmyhead.If inall
ycalmed
downandhepul ledt
hecoucht oit'
soriginal
positi
onandt ol
dmet ocomesi t.Idid.

Hi
m:Whenl
astdi
dyouseey
ournei
ghbor
?
It
ensedmyey ebr
owsandsaid"Thet
imewe
weretoget
herout
side"
.Hesai
d"Okay
"
Me:Whydoy
ouask?Yout
hinkhe'
sbehi
ndal
l
oft
his?
Heunl ockedhi sphoneandgav eittome.I
l
ookedathi m andt henatthescreen.This
picturel ooksli
kei twascaughtoncamer a.Our
buil
di ngdoesn' thav ecameras.Wher edidhe
gett his?Thepi cturealsohadat i
meanddat e.
Thiswasj ustacoupl eofminutesagoandt his
l
ooksl ikeMbel o.Ibeganhav i
nghear t
palpitations.Mbel oismyst al
ker?Noi tcan'
tbe.
May behewasj ustknockingtocheckuponme
orheneededhel pwi thsomething.Butwhyt ry
toopent hedoorknob?Muzi '
sphoner ang.I
t
waswr i
ttenSabelo.Igav ei
tbackt ohim.

Hi
m:Hel
l
o?
Hi
m:Downst
air
s?
Hi
m:Ngi
yezamanj
e(I
'
m comi
ngj
ustnow)

Heaskedmet oputonsomet hingappr opr i

ate
becausehecan' tleav emeinher e.Iwasal so
goingt orefusetost aybehind.Iwentt omy
room andputonabl ackti
ghtdress.Idi dn't
changemyshoes.It ookmyphoneandkey s.
Het oldmet ogivehi mthekey s.Wegotoutand
helockedt hedoor .HeturnedtoMbel o'sr oom
l
ooki ngli
kehewant edtosayordosomet hing
butseemi nglychangedhi smindbecausehe
heldmyhandandwentdownt hest ai
rswi thme.
Thisbui l
dingneedsanel evat
or .

Wegotdownst ai
rsandther
ewasaman
outsideablueBMW 320iwhi
chwasparked
behindYise'
scar
.Muzigottohi
m andt
heyfist
-
bumped.
Sabel
o:Lomunt
ukadeumsol
avel
evel
ehi
yo
i
cul
pri
tMK.(Thepersony
ouwer
esuspect
ingi
s
i
ndeedthecul
pri
t.
)
Muziexhal
edandbri
efl
ylookedaway
.I'
m
guessi
ngthi
sisMbel
ot hey
'r
espeaki
ngabout
.
Muzi
:Exceptfort
her
ecentpi
ctur
eswhatel
se
di
dyoufind?
Sbl
:Ei
shi
t'
snotgoody
azi
Muzi:
Uyakhul
umanomauyaxoshwa?(Ar
eyou
goi
ngtospeakory
ouwanttogetfi
red?)
Hecal
mlysai
d.
Sbl
:Okayokaybhekal
a
Hesaidasheopenedt
hedoort
ohispassenger
seatandt
ookoutawhit
eA4envel
ope.
Muzisai
d"Yi
nil
okhu?
"(What
'st
his?
)Hesai
das
heopenedi
t.
Hepul l
edoutthecont
entsandqui
ckl
yshov
ed
them back.Hehel
dhismouthandasked
Sabel
owher ehegotthem.
Sabel
o:Manqobasai
dIshoul
dbet
heonet
o
gi
vethem t
oyou.
Muzi:Sohemanagedt
ohackt
hebust
ard'
s
phone?
Sabelo:
Waz'kahl
eukut
hiamanz'
amancaneku
MQl awa.(
Youknowthatsuchaj
obi
snothi
ng
toMQ) .
Muzi
:Tr
ue.Buthow?
Sabel o:Buzubhut 'wakhobaf omi nasek'fanel
e
ngihambemanj eispansam sesi pheli
lela.
UBaf anauy ang'
dingaeP. E(Asky ourbrotherbro.
Ihav etogo.Baf ananeedsmeatP. E).He
turnedtomeandsubt l
yclappedhi shands
once,keptthem togetherand" Baf
okazi,
i
y obonana"whi chlooselytranslat
est o"Bro's
woman, I'
ll
seey ouar ound".Ismiledandsai d
"Drivesafely."
Het henwentar oundhi scar ,
got
i
nandl eft
.
Muzi
lookedli
kehewasdeepi
nthought
str
ying
t
oputpiecest
oget
her
.
Me:
What
'si
ntheenv
elope?
Hi
m:I
t'
snot
hingi
mpor
tantbaby
.
Iwasaboutt
oarguewhenhet
ookouthi
s
phoneandmadeacall
.
Hi
m:Shoukephi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?
)
Hi
m:Gr
eat
.PhumaI
'
m out
side

Me:
Iwantt
oseewhat
'si
ntheenv
elopeMuzi
.
Herolledhiseyesindef eatandgaveittome.
Heknewv erywellthatitwasnevergoingtoend.
Iopeneditwi t
hmyey esonhi m.It
ookoutt he
pi
cturesandIwasappal l
ed.WHATI NTHE
HELL? ??I
twaspi cturesofmephot oshopped
wit
hMbel o.Theyl ookedl i
kegenui
neweddi ng
pi
ctures.Idroppedmyj awtothefl
oor.Mbel oi
s
si
ckint hehead!!
Someguycameoutf rom mybui l
ding.Hewas
dressedi
nbluebeachshorts,
ablackt r
opi
cal
vestandfl
ipfl
ops.Helookedli
kehewasi nhi
s
mid20s.
Hegr eetedmef i
rstandsaid"Madam".He
turnedtoMuz iandsaid"Bozza?
".Muzihanded
him hiscarkeysandt ookout5hundr
edr and
notesf r
om hiswall
etandgav ei
ttohi
m.sai d
"Takehert oasafeplaceandgetsomef ood.
Wai tf
ormet ocallyou".
Theguy
:Sur
e.

Me:Wherear
eyoutaki
ngmeandwhywenao
sal
a?(
..
.ar
eyoust
ayingbehi
nd?
)
hehel
dmyshoul
der
sandl
ookedmei
ntheey
e.
Muzi
:You'
regonnabefi
nebaby.I
'
llbewi
thy
ou
wi
thi
nacoupleofhour
s.Okay?
Hesai
dandki
ssedmeonmyf
orehead.
Me:
Whoi
sthi
s?
Isai
dandlookedatt
heguy.Heexcused
himsel
fandgotint
hecar
.
Muzi
:Oneofy
ourguar
ds.
Iwouldhavenev
erguessed.Aguar
dthat
dressesthi
sway?Sotheywerei
nthebui
ldi
ng
al
l t
histi
me?
Me:
Comewi
thmet
hen
Muzi
:Iwil
lj
oinyouaf
terI'
m doneher
e.Let
'snot
ar
gueaboutthi
sngi
yakcel
a?
Hesai
dandpull
edmychinsohecoul
dki
ssme.
Ial
mostgotl
osti
nthatki
sst
il
lhebr
okei
t.
Hi
m:Ngi
yakt
handa.
Hesai
dandpeckedmyl
i
psonel
astt
ime.
Heopenedt
hepassengerseatandIgotin.I
sawhi
m wal
kingbackint
othebuil
ding.Theguy
dr
oveof
f.Whatam Igoi
ngt
osayt
othi
sper
son?
Awkwar
d.

UNEDI
TED.

I
nser
t21.

Thet ripwasn'tatal lawkwar d.I

twasact ual
ly
veryshor t,
coupledwi ththefactthattheguy
keptt ell
i
ngmef ar-fetchedstori
est hatwer e
obviouslyliesbutIwasent er
tai
nedbyt hem.I
askedhi m wher ewewer egoingandhesai dhis
home.Hesai dhi smom i sameancookandshe
makest hebestdi shessowe' l
leatthere.I
l
aughedbecausei twascl earhewant edt obag
allt
hemoneyMuzi gavehi mforhimsel fbutI
didn'tmind.Hel aughedaswel l
andsai dchild
mai ntenancehashi m byt hethr
oat.He'sani ce
person.Iwasn' tex pectingsuchanaur afrom
hi
m.

Wegott ohisplacei nthevil

l
ageandIasked
whohest ayswi thbecauseIdidn'tf
eel
comfort
abledisturbingpeopleintheirown
home.Het oldmenott owor r
y.Wegoti nthe
l
ivi
ngroom andIwast ol
dtohav easeatashe
wentint
ot hekitchen.Awomancameoutof
oneofther oomswear i
nganankl e-
lengt
h
cott
onnightdresswi thadoekonherhead.She
l
ookedlikeshewaswokenupf r
om deepsl eep.
Theguycameoutoft hekit
chenwi thadishing
spooninonehandandacl othintheother.
Her
:Tebogo.
Her
:Hel
l
omygi
rl
.
Ismi l
edandgr eet
edback.Thisi
swhenI'
ve
real
isedthatI'
vebeentr
avell
ingandl
aughi
ng
withaguyandIdon' tev
enknowhi sname.I
foundt hi
sfunny.
Hi
m: Mama?Ner
esar
eragot
sosha(
Wedi
dn'
t
meantt
owakeyou)
Her:
Aowagol oki
le.Marabaneny
anabadul aka
kuamor agogeoseny al
aakerngwanaka? (
No
i
t'
sfine.Butgi
rlsshoul
dbekeptatt hebackif
youhaven'tmarri
edheryouknowt his)
I'
m guessingthe"back"i
ssomewhereinwhat
wecal l
a" Boysroom",wher
eaboymov esto
whenhe' soldenoughtobri
nggir
lsi
ntotheyard
and/orcomebackatungodl yt
imestoav oi
d
dist
urbingthepeopleint
hehouse.Helaughed.

Him:Aowamamaasekgar ebey akaye.Monna

wagageot l
otl
aatlomotseyaenobaelegor eo
tshwaregil
emogongwegabj ale.Akampol ay a
geakamohwet sakakuamor ago(Nomom t his
i
snotmygi rl
fr
iend.Hermani sgoingtocome
takeher.Hejustgotheldupsomewher e.He' d
kil
lmei fhefoundherinther
e.)
Thesepeopl
earebusyconv
ersi
ngaboutmeas
i
fI'
m nother
e.
Her:Golokil
e.Ot i
memabonegeof et
samo.
Ngwaneny aka,kethabelagogot sebaaker?
Bonaobot sejwang.Mot hoakabaar eohlapa
kalebese(Alri
ght.Switchof
fthelightswhen
you'
redone.Mygi r
l,i
twaslovel
ymeet i
ngyou.
Lookathowbeaut i
fulyouare,i
t'
sasi fyoubat
h
i
nmi lk)
.
Ilaughed,
thankedherf
orthecompli
mentand
bidhergoodnight
.Shethenwentbacki
ntoher
room.

Hewentbacki ntothekit
chenandIcontinued
play
ingani
mal rescueonmyphone.Het hen
camebackwi t
ht wopl at
esonat r
ay.Heput
them downandf etcheda2li
trebott
leofcold
waterand2glasses.Hegav emet hewetcloth
towipemyhands.Iwant edt
owasht hem
i
nsteadbutIset
tl
edforwhatIwasbei
ng
of
fered.Thi
sisnotmyhouse.
Itookt heplateandputi tonmyl ap.I
tlooked
veryappet i
zing.Therewasbr ownpap, two
chickent hi
ghs,soup,cabbageandat chaar.Thi
s
remindsmesomuchofmygr andmot her.He
turnedont heTV, loweredthev olumeandIdug
i
n.Tebogowentoutoft hehouseandIwasl eft
tobebymy self
.Icontinuedeating.AfterIwas
done, Itookthewetcl othandwi pedmyhands
anddr anksomeoft hewat er.

Hecamebacki nt
ot hehousel ookingli
kehe
wasnowher einthisyard.Probablywentt o
brief
lyseeagirl
fr
iendorsomet hi
ng.He
receivedacall
ashewaseat ing.Hewentt o
fetchhisphoneont hechargernextt otheTV
andanswer ed.
Hi
m:Sho?
Him:Si
sendl
i
ni.Ekhay
a(We'
reatt
hehouse.At
home)
Him:NahStixxknowswher
eIl
i
vekhul
uma
naye.(
..
.speaktohim)
Hi
m:Ei
ta.

Il
ookedathim wai
tingforar
epor
tbuthe
car
ri
edonwi t
hhisli
f el
i
kehedoesn'
tseeme.
Aft
eraboutaminute,
Hi
m:Di
dyouenj
oyt
hef
ood?
Me:Il
ovedi
tthankyou.Bet
tert
hananyt
ake
awaywecoul
d'vegott
en.
Hi
m:See?Wi
n-wi
n.
Il
aughed.Hegenui
nel
ylooksl
i
keaf
unsoul
to
bearound.

Fr
om t
heout
side,
youwoul
dn'
ttel
lthatt
hisi
s
thesamehouseI '
m sitti
ngi n.Itlooksl i
key our
averagemai d-payhousebuti t
'sv erybeautiful
andcleanont heinside.Idi dn'
twantt oaskal ot
ofquest i
onssoIj ustkeptqui etandadmi red
theinteri
orinsil
ence.Acarpar kedout si
de,
stoppedf orawhi l
eandt henl eftafterwards.I
j
ustguessedwhoi twasdr oppingof f
.The
womancameoutofherr oom agai n.Ihopet hi
s
i
snotgoi ngtobeawkwar d.Idon' tcommend
beingwi thaboy fr
iendar oundel der s,anyelder.
Iwasr aisedtoknowt hatanyol dper sonismy
parentandIshoul dt hereforet r
eatandaddr ess
them assuch.Sheopenedt hecur t
aintosee
whatwasgoi ngonout side.Tebogot oldhernot
towor ryandsaidi t'
smy" husband" .That
actuall
yhadani ceringtoi t.Honest ly.

Hefinal
l
yarri
vedandknocked.Thewoman
openedthedoorandhewalkedin.
Hi
m:Dumel
amama.Hebr
oughthi
shand
forward.Shehelditwit
hbothofhers.I
twasn't
abigdeal butitwasbeaut
if
ultowatch.Tebogo
l
aughed.He' sprobabl
yheari
nghim speak
anotherlanguageexceptf
orZuluandEnglish
forthefir
stti
me.
Muzi lookedathi m andsmil
edbutasawar ning.
Hecont i
nuedlaughingashepackedt heplates
awaywi t
hat oothpi
cki nhi
smout h.Ever
yblack
personknowst hatchickent
highscomewi th
toothpicks.
Ma:
Dumel
alewena.
Shesai dandsmi led.Shethensaidweshoul d
driv
esaf el
yandt hattheLordshouldpr ot
ectus.
Shef urt
herremi ndedhersont olockt hedoor
whenheal sol eav es.Aft
erthat
,shewentback
i
ntoherr oom.Muzi sai
dwehav et ogoandI
stoodup.Bot hhi m andTebogo' salut
ed'each
othergoodby e,wi ththei
ndexandt hemi ddl
e
fi
nger .
Wegottothecarandgotsett
led.Iwant
edto
askbuthei
nterrupt
edmeand" seat
bel
t"ashe
buckl
eduphis.Ididasher
equestedbefor
eI
coul
dspeak.
Me:
Arey
ougoi
ngt
otel
lmewhathappened?
Him:He'snotgoi
ngtobot
heryouany
more.And
you'
renevergoi
ngtoseehi
suglyf
aceagai
n.
Ihopehe'
snotsay
ingwhatIt
hinkhe'
ssay
ing.
Me:
Youdi
dn'
t
..?
Hi
m:Idi
dn'
twhat
?
Me:
Youdi
dn'
tki
l
lhi
m di
dyou?
Hi
m:May
beIdi
d.May
beIdi
dn'
t.
Me:
Muzi
!!
!!
!
Him:Wil
lyourel
ax?Thesehandswer
enot
madetospil
lanybloodbutt
obeusedasa
compassonthatbody.
Ididn'
tmeantol
aughandblushbutIdi
d.He
glancedatmeandsmil
ed.
Me:
Idon'
tbuyt
his.
Hi
m:Iwasn'
tsel
l
ingi
t.
Me:
Mci
i
m.

Wekeptquietinthecarti
llwegott ohishotel
.
Thiswasnotpartofthedealbyt heway .He
parkedt
hecarandheav i
lyexhaled.Helooked
ti
red.Wewalkedtohisroom andhekept
ki
ssingandhuggingmef rom behindinthe
corri
dor
.Ican'
tstayangryatthi
smanandI '
m
afrai
dhemightabusethispowerhehasov er
me.

Wegott
ohisr
oom andheopened.Hewai ted
f
ormetogeti
nfi
rstandhefoll
owed.Ihonestl
y
want
edt
ogotomypl acebecauseIwantedto
shower.I
twashotandIwassweati
ng.The
ti
mewasar oundoneAM.Iwassti
ll
curi
ous
aboutwhathappenedbet
weenhi
m andMbelo
buthewasn'tbudgi
ng.
Me:Thanky
ouforever
ythi
ngyou'
vedonef
or
mebutyoureal
l
yneedtotakemetomyplace.I
needt
oshowerandmymom. .
Him:.
.iscomi ngthemorni
ng.IknowIknow.I
canalsofi
xt hat
.Andyoucanshowerher e.
BabyI'
mt ir
ed.Ipromi
seIwon'tbothery
ou.I'
ll
evenclosemyey esti
l
lyou'
redone.
Me:
Fixi
thow?
Het ur
nedawayf r
om me, t
ookmyphonef rom
thebedandIj umpedonhi sback.Myphone
doesn'thaveapasswor dot herwi
seIwoul dn'
t
bepani cki
ngl
ikethi
sifit.Hehel dmewi thone
handonhi sbacksoIcoul dn'tmov eand
searchedformymom' scont actdetai
l
stil
l he
foundthem.Iwasscr eami ngthathegivesme
myphonewhi lethi
swashappeni ngandhewas
l
aughing.Hetyped"Heymommy .Ihavea
deadl
ineIneedtomeett omor r
owmor ni
ngmy
bossambushedmesoIr eall
yneedt of i
nish
thi
s.Pleasecomeintheafternoon.Ilovey ou"
.
Hepressedsendandgav ethephonebackt o
me.Ilookedathimindisbeli
efandhej ustkept
asmugsmi l
eonhisface.

Him:What'
syourotherexcusesowecan
addr
essitaswell
?
Hehel dhisearindicat
ingt hathe'
swai t
ingfor
met osaysomet hi
ng.Isul kedandsatont he
bed.Het ookoffhissandl es,unbuckledhisbelt
butdidn'tt
akeitoffandcamet ositwi t
hmeon
thebed.Het ri
edt otouchmebutIl aughedand
gotoffthebedheadi ngt ot heshower .Hey el
l
ed
"Enj
oy !
"Andlaidhimsel font hebed,sleepingon
hisstomach.
Wewer ebusyt al
kingf rom t hedi ff
erent
compar tment soft her oom asIwasshower ing.
Ikeptpr ayi
ngt hathedoesn' twal kinhere
becauseany t
hingi spossi blewithhi m.Iused
hisshowergel andsmel tlikear ichman
afterwards.Allhist oi
letrieswer ei nheresoI
j
ustwentr i
ghtaheadandusedhi sloti
onaswel l.
Hest oppedr epl y
ingtomesoIf i
guredhe
passedout .Itookat owel andwr appedi n
aroundmy selftogof indat -
shirtIcouldsleep
i
n.Thi swasr iskybutIwaswi l
l
ingt odoi t
any way.Ididn'thav ethatmuchofpr oblem with
under wearbecauseIr emov edthepant yli
nerI
hadonandwor eitasi tis.I '
M NOTWALKI NG
AROUNDWI THOUTUNDERWEARNEVER.

Heindeedpassedout.Theblackt-
shi
rthewas
weari
ngwhenwewer edri
vingfr
om KZNwas
onthechairal
ongwit
hhi scargoshor
ts.It
ook
i
tandsniff
edonit.I
thadnobadodouratal l.I
t
j
ustsmel tl
ikehim.Idecidedtoputitonand
sl
eepbecauseIwasal sotir
ed.Hewasont he
othersi
deoft hebedandhadpassedoutont op
ofthesheets.IgotunderthecoversbecauseI
wasn'tabouttowakehi mt ohecouldbotherme.
Il
ookedt heotherwayandal somanagedt o
sl
eep.

Iwassl eepingpeacefull
yunt i
l Ifelthim pl
ant
ing
wetki ssesonmyneck.It hi
nkheal r
eadyknows
whatt hisdoestome.( Remov ed) Hewas
smi l
ingthroughoutt
heki ss.Hef elloffofmeto
hissideoft hebedandhuggedmef rom behi
nd.
Hewasi nhisunderwear .Il
egitf eltl
ikeIwanted
mor eandIt oldhi
mt his.Her epl i
edandsai d
"Trustme, you'
renotreadyf ort hat."

UNEDI
TEDASALWAYS.
I
nser
t22.
Iendedupf alli
ngasleepinhisstrongandwar m
arms.Ipr omi se,Icanneverf
eel anysaferthan
thi
s.Iwasn' tsureoft het
imebutIknewt hesun
wasal r
eadyout .Hisphonerang.Het ookitand
l
ookedatt hecal l
erI.
D.Icoul
df eelthathe'
s
l
ookingatme, doubti
ngwhethert otakeitornot.
Heev entuallyanswer edt
hecall,probably
hopingthatI '
m deepi nsl
eep.Icont i
nued
pret
endingt obedeadi nhisonear m.
Hi
m:Mommy
Her
:Khumal
o.
HewassocloseIcouldhearhersobbingand
cr
yingont
heotherl
ine.Icont
inued'
sleepi
ng'
.
Hi
m:Kwenzenj
anbaby
?(What
'swr
ong?
)
Hesaidandsatup.Hesoundedr eall
yworri
ed.I
hopethebabyisfi
ne.Iwasactuall
ypray
ingthat
thebabyi
sfine.Cont
rar
ytocommon
expect
ati
ons,Ihaveali
tt
leunwantedsoftspot
forher
.Especi
all
yaf
tert
heconv
ersat
ionwe
had.
Her
:Ngi
khat
hel
e
Him:Huh?Ukhal
angobay
ou'
ret
ir
ed?Idon'
t
under
standbaby
Her
:Comet
aket
hisbabyofy
our
soutofme!
!
Shecr
iedhar
der
.Hesof
tl
ylaughed.
Him:Hangintheremylove.Youhavelesst
han
3monthstogo.Bekezelasthandwasam
okay
?(Hangintheremyloveokay?)
What ?Herpr egnancyl ookedl i
keitwasinit'
s
i
niti
alstagest ome.Shemustbeoneoft hose
womenmygr andmot herusedt osay" Mpaya
bonaet shabel amat sweleng",whichmeans( by
dir
ectt r
anslation)yourpr egnancyhidesinyour
breasts,meani nginsteadoft hebumpgr owing,
yougetbi ggerbr eastsinstead.
Her
:He'
smaki
ngmecr
avet
hei
mpossi
bleand
he'
sexhaust
ingme.AndIhav
eal
i
ttl
epai
non
mylowerabdomen
Hi
m:Whendi
ditst
art
?
Her
:Lastni
ght
.Ineedy
ou.
Him:
I'
ll
bet
her
etomor
rowokay
?Thenwe'
l
lgo
seey
ourDr
.
Her
:Ukephi
?
Hecl
ear
edhist
hroatbef
orehestat
edthathe'
s
wi
thme.Shewentqui
etforsomeseconds.
Her
:Iwantt
ocomebackhome.
Hi
m:Webot
hknowy
oudon'
treal
l
ywantt
hat
.
Her
:Whatdoy
oumean?
Him: Babyeversinceyouf ellpr
egnantyoudon' t
wantmeany whereneary ou.Mycol ognemakes
youvomi t
.Everyt
hingIsayt i
cksyouof f
.We' v
e
beenmaki ngalotofpr ogresswiththislong
dist
ancerelati
onship.Ican'tri
skusf i
ghtingli
ke
wedi dsomucht hatweal mostgotadi vorce.
It
'snotgoodf orthebaby .I'
m gonnacomesee
youj ustasI'vebeendoi ngandI '
l
lleaveassoon
asy ougetsi ckofme.I twor ksbettert
hatway.
I'
l
l comet akey ouof f
icallyaftery
ougi vebi
rt
h.
That '
sifuyavumaumamazal awakhongoba
uyamazunj an(..yourmot herinl
awagr ees
becausey ouknowhowshei s)
Her
:Awusang'
funi
Khumal
o?
Heexhal
ed.
Him:Ung'v
useeksenkanj
eukuthuzol
wanam
Samkethe?(Youwokemeupthi
searl
ysoyou
canstar
taf i
ghtwi
thme?)
Her
:Youl
ovehermor
ethany
oudomer
ight
?
Shesai
dandst
art
edcr
ying
Hi
m:No.
Myhear
tjammedabr
upt
ly.
Him:Idon'
tl
oveyoumorethanIl
oveherei
ther
.
Youbothoccupyaspeci
alpl
acei
nmyheart.I
j
ustwishev er
yonewouldj
ustgetal
ong
becausethesefight
sar
epostponi
ngthe
i
nevit
able.Iam gonnamar
ryherevent
ual
ly
.
Hi
m:Whydoy
oui
nsi
stonhur
ti
ngmesomuch?
Hegotupf
rom t
hebedandt
heycont
inued
ar
gui
ng.

Iconti
nuelayi
ngtheret hinkingaboutthismess.
"Post
poningtheinev
itabl e".Theseweret heonl
y
wordsringi
nginmyhead.Iopenedmyey esand
star
edintospace.Muzi cli
mbsbackont hebed
andIclosemyey esreal l
yqui ckly
.Hekissesme
onmycheekandIpr etendt ohavebeenwoken
upbythatthatsi
mplegest ur e.It
urnt
ohi m and
fakeasmi l
e.Hesmilesback.
Me:
Goodmor
ning.
Hi
m:Mor
ningbaby
.
Hemademel
ayonhi
schestwhi
l
ehesatup.I
wasabouttospeakwhenhei nt
erj
ectedand
said"
Babydoy ouli
keMadlamini
?Iknowy ou
guysspokeatsomepointinKZN".Ididn'
tknow
howtoanswert hi
squest
ion.It
ensedmy
eyebr
owsandbi tmylowerli
p.
Me:
Idon'
thav
eapr
obl
em her
.
Him: WouldIbeexpect ingt oomuchi fIasked
youtoov er
lookandi gnor ethef actthatI'
m
mar r
iedalr
eady?Ipromi setomakey ouhappy
anddi v
idemyat t
entionequal l
y.Theonl yti
me
you'r
egonnaf eell
ikey ou'reshar i
ngmei swhen
I
'm notwithyou,whichi ssomet hingIcando
nothi
ngaboutbecauseIcan' tbreakmy sel
fint
o
two.
Isuddenl
ystart
edthi
nki
ngaboutSTI
sandmy
mouthbetrayedme.Ibl
urt
edi
toutwit
houtany
i
ntenti
on.
Me:
Doy
ouusepr
otect
ionwi
thher
?
Thi
swasast
upi
dquest
ionbecauseIal
ready
knowt
heanswert
othi
s.
Hi
m: Let'
sgobuyanHI Vrapi
dhomet
estki
tif
t
hat'
sy ourbi
ggesti
ssue.
Me:Whatifshecheatsonyou?OrIcheaton
youandthebothofyouendupinf
ected?See
whyI'
m soworri
ed?
Him:Youcangetinf
ect
edbyanybodyev
eni
t
i
t'
snott hr
oughme.Thi
sisj
usty
oumakingup
excuses.
Hehadapoi
nt.
Me:
Yousai
dyouhav
echeat
edonher
.
It
henmumbledandsai
d"Godknowshow
manyt
imes"
Me:Didyouuseprot
ect
ion?Ordoy
ouuse
pr
otect
ionwhenyoucheat?
Hi
m:I'
m nev
ergonnacheatonyou.Andyes,
al
way
s.She'
stheonlyoneIhav
er awsexwit
h.
Me:
IfIdoagr
ee,
theny
ouandIwi
l
lal
way
suse
pr
otect
ion.
Iknewthiswasimpr
act
ical
butIj
usthadt
osay
i
t.Helaughed.
Hi
m: Andhowdoyout
hinky
ou'
regonnaf
all
pr
egnant?Youoweme10ki
ds.
Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ngandr
epl
i
ed"
Iny
ourdr
eams
"
Hi
m: Besi
des,
fir
stti
mesexwi
thacondom f
ora
vi
rgi
nismorepainf
ul
Me:
Hav
eyouev
erhadahy
mensi
r?
Isai
dasIr
aisedmyheadwi
thaquest
ioni
ng
l
ookonmyf ace.
Helaughedandsai
d" Experi
encebaby
.
Exper
ience"
.He'
snuts.Ilaughedaswell
and
shookmyhead.

Istar
tedfeel
ingreal
l
ypressedandneededto
pee.Hissandalsweret
heclosestshoesIcoul
d
fi
ndsoIsl ippedt hem onandwentt otheloo.I
gott hereandempt i
edmybl adder .WhileIwas
doingt his,Iwasl ookingaroundthet oi
let
.My
eyesr andoml ylandedonmyf eet.Iasked
my selfquest i
onsupont hesightoft wodr i
ed
dropsofbl oodont hewhit
epar tofoneoft he
Adidasst r
ipes.Itthenhitmet hatIsawabr ui
se
onhi sarm ear l
ierwhenhewasal l upinmy
pri
v atesbutIcoul dn'
taskhimt hen.Whatr eal
ly
wentdownl astnight?IsMbel ookay ?Isheev en
sti
llaliv
e?Whati f?Muzi wouldn't
?
Iwi
pedmy
sel
fandgotoutoft
her
e.

Ifoundhim st
andingint hemiddl
eoft heroom
ty
pingonhi sphone.Hewast opl
essbuthenow
hadhisjeanson.Barefoot.TheCKel ast
icband
ofhisblackunderwearwasshowi ng.Her ai
sed
hi
sey esandaskedmewhat '
swrong.Howdoes
heknowIhav esomet hingonmymi nd?Imust
belooki
ngner vousashel lonaSundayright
now.Whati ft hismani samur der
er?Ifheis
thenhewoul dn' tthi
nktwi ceaboutputti
ngmei n
abodybagi fI 'm athreat.ImeanIwoul dn't
hav ehi
m arrestedbecausehewaspr ot ect
ing
mebutst i
ll
.Pl us, onecannev erbetoosur e
howt hemindofaki l
leractual
lyworks.He
tensedhisey ebr owandaskedagai n.
"Sthandwasam ar eyouokay ?"
.Hest i
l
l hadboth
hishandsonhi sphone.

Isl
owlysunkdownont hebed.Hecamet
osi
t
nextt
ome.Heputhi shandaroundmy
shoul
dersandIshi
vered.
Him:You'r
ebeginni
ngt
owor r
ymenow.You
wentinther
elaughi
ngandnowy oul
ookl
i
ke
you'
veseenaghost.What'
swrong?
Ihel
dont i
ghtl
ytot
heedgeoft
hemat
tresswi
th
bothhands.
Me:
Whathappenedt
oMbel
o?
Hi
m:Mbel
o?
Me:
Mynei
ghbour
.
Herol
ledhi
seyesashebri
efl
ylookedtot
he
si
de.Hedoest
hiswhenhe'
sannoy ed.
Him: Whyareyousoconcernedaboutthi
sguy?
Ithoughtyou'
dbehappyhe'snolongergonna
botheryou?Hehadahighlyannoyedlookon
hi
sf ace,wai
ti
ngformetoanswer.
Me:
Idi
dn'
tsayy
oushoul
dgooutt
her
eandki
l
l
t
heguy
.
Hi
m:Howmanytimesam Isupposedt
otel
lyou
t
hatI
-AM-
NOT-
A-F**
KING-
MURDERER?
Arewef ight
ing?IsMuzi raisi
nghi sv oi
ceatme?
Ifel
ttearsstart
ingtobrim upi nmyey es.He
exhaled,l
ookingli
kehe'st r
y i
nghisbestt ocalm
himselfdown.Hest oodupandwentt othel
oo.
Igotupandt ookmyphone.If oundanSMS
fr
om mymom say i
ngshe' sgoingt oarriv
eat
around13h00andt hatshe'snotsl eepingov
er.
AndthatIhadbettermakesurethatmyboss
under
standsthatshehasarr
ived.Ohmother
!
Iwipedmytearsandcheckedt
het
ime.The
phonerepor
ted06h17.

Hegotoutofthelooandcal
mlyaskedmeto
getdr
essed.Ist
oodther
eandglar
edathi
m.
Him:Makeitsnappy
.Youmi
ghtmi
ssy
our
boyf
ri
end.
Whatonear thishet al
kingabout.Ikeptquiet
andwor emycl othesinsil
ence.Hepul l
edt he
curtai
nsapart,
openi ngthem.Ther oom got
mor ebri
ghter
.Het henputonhi st-shir
tand
said"Ngi
cel'i
cathulozam" (
CanIpl easehav e
myshoes? ).Wehadast arecontestforabouta
minuteandknowi nghim, heshould'velaughed
bynowbuthedi dn't
.Itookthem offandgav e
them tohim.Hisphoner angashewasaboutt o
wearthem.Heputt hem onquicklyandt ookit
f
rom t
hebed.

Hi
m:Mbuso?
Hi
m:Ahngi
ri
ghtbaf
ounj
anwena?
Hi
m:Wai
twhat
?You'
rehome?
Hesmi
l
ed.
Hi
m:Awushongani
?(Whydi
dn'
tyousay
?)
Him: Ahhyabonamanj e.WenanoNat hifanel
e
niy
ifundi
seukuth'kuphunywakanj anendaben
zami .Hl
ukananineloveli
feyamiphansi osat
an
abancan.(YouandNat hineedtolearna
methodofhowt ostayoutofmybusi ness.
Leavemyl oveli
fealoneyoulit
tl
edev i
ls)
Ifi
xedandmadet
hebedashewast
alki
ngon
thephone.
Him: Ngi
thiminaenr
olf
orashortcourseny
ana
therebyUKZNonhowt ostayt
hef **
koutof
Yise'
sbusiness.
Hecont
inuedlaughi
ng.I'
m guessi
ngt
hisi
sthe
el
derbr
otherhewast al
ki
ngabout.

Afterhewasdoneheaskedmei fI '
mr eadyto
go.Icoul dn'treadhi semot ions.Hewasway
toocalmf ormyl i
kingbutnotwel comi ngeither
.
Isaidy esandpi ckedupmyphone.Wel eftthe
hotelandhedr ovetomypl ace.It houghthe
wasgonnawal kupwi thmet omyapar t
ment
buthedi dn'tev enof fer.Hejustgott her e,
parkedandl ookedst rai
ghtahead.Il ookedat
him andhewi pedhi snosewi thhi sthumband
i
ndexf inger .Hecont inuedav oidingey econt act
withme.May beIwast oodrasticwhenIcal led
him amur derer.Butmypr idewoul dtakemet o
courtifIgr ovell
edt ohi m.SoIgotoutoft hecar.
Hewai tedf ormet ogeti ntothebui l
dingbef ore
hespedof f.
Iwentupt hestairst ot he2ndf l
oor .WhenIgot
there,therewer ebr ownboxes, blackplast i
c
bagsandgr eenst oragecont ai
ner soutsideof
Mbel o'sapar tment .Thedoorwasopenandi t
soundedasi fhewasshov ingmor ethingsi nto
oneoft hepl asti
cbags.Idi dn'tknowwhet herto
standorr uni nt
omyr oom.Ist il
lhav enoi dea
whatgoesoni nhi spsy chot icmind.SoIqui ckly
unlocked, goti nandshutt hedoor .Il
ockedi t
from thei nsideasf astasIcoul d.Hecame
knockingandmyhear tswam i nice.Ist ood
againstt hedoor , shutmyey esandkeptqui et.I
couldhearhi m slowl ybacki ngawayf r
om t he
door .Het ookaf ewst eps,st oodf orli
ke2
secondsandcont inuedwal kingint ohisroom.I
heldmychestandexhal ed.

Iwenti
ntomyr oom andbrushedmyt eet
h.AsI
wasbusydoingthat,
Iheardanotherknockon
mydoor.Ispi
toutthedil
utedtoothpast
eand
l
ookedst rai
ghtintot hemi r
ror ,waitingforhi m
towal kawayagai n.Hedi dn't.Insteadhe
shout ed"Pl
easeopen.Ineedt ot alktoy ouandI
promi seIwon'tbot hery ouev eragai naf ter
thi
s."Itookinsomeai randst oodst il
l
.He
continued."
Look, thepeopl eoft hiscor ri
dor
knowaboutt his.Ev eni fIdidwantt ohur ty ou,I
wouldn'tsucceed.Wecant alkher eout sideI
don'
thav etocomei n.Just...pleaseopent he
door."

Iturnedthefaucetont hebasin,rinsedmy
mout handwi pedwithat owel.Itooksome
petroleum j
ell
yandappl i
editonmyl ips
becausemyl i
psalway sfeel
uncomf ortabl
ydry
afteramout hwashandIcan' tst andit.Iwent
toopent hedoor.Hewasaboutt oknocksome
mor ewhenIdi d.Helookedatmeanddr opped
hishand.Thegi rl
whol iv
esrightopposi tetome
cameoutandsai d"Sthandwa, don'twor r
y,i
fhe
tr
iesanythingthenhe'stoast.IhaveSAPSon
speeddial.
"Shet henlookedathi m,disgusted.
Shamesmear edhisfaceandhel ookeddown.
Whatreallyhappenedher elastnight?Ithanked
herandthenshewentbacki ntoherroom.It ol
d
Mbelotocomei nbutIleftthedoorwi deopen.

Hebr ushedt hepalmsofhi shandsagainsthis

j
eanst wi ce.I
'veseenalotofmendot hi
swhen
theyfindt hemselvesinawkwardsituati
ons.He
satdownont hecouch.Iwasn'tatall
comf ortablewithhavi
nghim herebutIneeded
toknowwhatr eal
lyhappenedlastnight
.Istood
againstt hekit
chencounterandf ol
dedmy
hands, stari
ngndwai ti
ngforhimt ospeak.

Him:I'mreall
ysorr
yBetso.I'
m sor
ryIscar
ed
you.Ididn'
tmeantoputy ouinsuchaposit
ion.
Ijust
..Ial
lowedthecr
ushIhav eonyoutoget
outofcont
rol
.
Me:
Wer
eyoust
alki
ngme?
It
hinnedmyeyesasIf
eltdi
sgustandi
mmense
l
oathfil
l
ingupt
hechambersofmyheart
.
Hi
m:Ij
ustf
oll
owedy
out
wice.Iswear
.
Me:
Whenandwhen?
Isai
d,tr
yingt
olookunf
azedasIpossi
blycan.
Helookeddownbutconti
nuedt
ospeak.
Him: Oneti
mewhenyouweregoingouttoget
bread,mil
kandapackofDori
tosandthi
sother
ti
mewheny ouwer
edoingl
aundry
.
Sonofabi .
.!
!!If
eltl
ikesomebodywas
fol
lowingmeonbot haccountsbutIdeci dedto
i
gnor eit.Whatwoul d'
vebecomeofmei fMuzi
hadn'tinter
vened?NowIf eel guilt
y.No.Ifeel
mor esadt hanguilt
yactual
ly.I'
veonl yknown
himf orashor twhil
ebutMuzi hasnev er
showedmeanysi gnsofhim bei ngcapableto
sl
aught eranotherhumanbei ng.Iknowt hatwe
shouldn'tj
udgebooksbyt heircoversbuthe
hasnev ergivenmeanyr easonf ormet o
beli
evehecoul dkill
Mbelo.Notev eninthe
sl
ightestbit
.AndFi l
west i
llwentr i
ghtahead
andaccusedhi m.Buttheblood?Wher ewasit
comingf rom?Iaskedmy selfthisquesti
onasI
scrut
inizedMbel o'
sface,whi chlookedahot
mess.Hi slowerlipwasabi tr i
ppedont hesi
de
andhehadputasmal lpl
ast eronhi snose
bri
dge.Heal sohadabl ack-ey e.

Me:
Whatr
eal
l
yhappenedl
astni
ghtXi
kombel
o?
Hi
m:Angakbyelang'
munhuwawehkas?(
Your
mandi
dn'
ttel
lyou?)
Hel
ookedt
akenabackbymyquest
ion.
Me:
Arey
ougonnaanswermyquest
ion?
Hi
m:LookI
'
m sor
r.
..
Me:
Leav
e.
Hi
m:ButI
'
m..
Me:Ifyou'
renotwil
li
ngtotel
lmewhat
happenedlastni
ghtthent
here'
snot
hingl
eftf
or
ustodiscuss.
Hi
m: Okayyi
manyanaxanani
kuhl
amusel
ake.
(
Waitletmeexpl
ain)
.
Hebr
eat
hedout
,heav
il
y.
Him:Yourboy fri
endbeatmeup.Hedi dn'teven
givemeachancet oexplain.Hejustwent
aheadandat tackedme.Af terhewasdone, he
saidheknowst hatIwor katGameandt hatI'
m
thesolebr eadwi nnerathome.Andt hatifit
wasn'tformysi ckmot herandmyl it
tl
esi ster
whoneedsschool suppli
esandshi i,
hewoul dn'
t
thi
nktwi ceaboutmaki ngmel osemyj obasa
managerandal somaki ngsur ethatnobody
everempl oysmeev eragain.
Me:
And?
Him: Hegav emehi stermsandsai dIshould
nevershowmyf aceint hisbuil
dingev eragai
n
andt hatIshoul
dchangepat hsshoul dIeverrun
i
ntoy ouany where.Heal sosaidifyouhappen
toalsomov eintowher ev erI
'
m mov ingt o,
I
shouldalsomov eoutoft her
easwel l
.
Hethenl
aughed,sar
casti
cal
l
y.Myheartbroke
i
nto99pi
eces.IaccusedMuzikay
iseofmurder
.
MURDER!!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nsert23.[
VERYSHORT.ADMI
NISKAKTI
RED
BUTSHECOULDN'TGOTOBEDWI THOUT
POSTING.]

Xikombeloeventual
lypackedupevery
thingthat
belongedtohim andlef
t.Iwashonestl
yv er
y
muchunbot her
ed.Hemademesi ck.
Ispentmostoft heaf t
ernoonsl eepinginmy
room.Mybosscal ledchecki nguponme.It ol
d
himI '
m getti
ngbet terandwenteasyont he
pretenti
ouscoughi ng.Heof f
eredmet heentir
e
weekof fbutIturnedhi m down.I 'm goingback
towor ktomor r
owot herwisesomeoft he
screwsi nmyheadwi l
lendupl oose.Thet ime
wasnowar ound12i ntheaf ter
noon.Iwokeup
andmadet ri
plesuret hatmypl acewas
spotless.I
'm honest l
ynoti nthemoodf ormy
mom t obuzzi nmyear s.Iloveherwi thall
my
heartbutIwasnoti nthemoodf oranyoft hat
vibe.Andizi
.I'
m notcomi ng.Ishallneverarri
ve
foranyoft hat.

Mynei ghbourcameknocki ngandaskedi fI

'
m
okay.Ibarelyspeaktoherbutweal waysgreet
andsmi letoeachother.Iappreci
atedher
concernandt oldherI
'm okay.Sheinsi
stedthat
weexchangenumber sbecause" It'
sourdut yas
woment oprotectoneanot herbecausewe' re
nowonourown" .Ifel
tt hat.Any thingcoul d
happent oyouasawomancur r
entlylivi
ngi n
Sout hAf r
ica.Weseet heset hingsonTVev ery
passi nghourbutweal way sunder mi net he
probabi l
it
yofbei ngpar toft heforeverr ising
statisti
cs.Beforewecoul dpar tway s, shesai d
shehasagi f
tformeandt hatIshoul dwai tfora
sec.Iwassur prisedbyt hisbutIdi dasIwas
told.Shequi cklywenti ntoherr oom andcame
backwi t
habl ackcanofpepperspr ay.Il aughed.
Shesmi l
edandsai dIshoul dn'ttakef orgr anted
howmucht hiscansav emef rom these
roami ngper ver
ts.Iwasl aughi ngatt his" gif
t"
butIwasgr atefulfori
t.

Itookthecanandhuggedher.Shehuggedme
backandwentf ur
thert
osay"Ifi
tiseveroutof
reach,
grabhim bythenut
sandtwistashardas
youcan.Whi lehei ssti
llwinci
ngatt hat
,use
yourelbowt oblowhi m eit
heront heheadoron
hisstomach.Yourel bowi sthestrongestpar
t
ofy ourhand.ButIusef ist
ssomet imeswhen
myboy f
ri
endmi sbehav es"
.Iburstoutlaughi
ng
andwehi ghfi
ve'd.Ithi
nkIhav efoundmy sel
fa
neigh-st
erhere!

Iwentbacki ntomyr oom becauseIwant edto

startcooki ng.Mymom l ovesmyl asagneso
thatiswhatIwasaboutt omake.Ihear da
knockonmydoorasIwast ry
ingtot akeoutt he
meatf r
om t hef ri
dge.IwenttoopenandI
i
mmedi atelysmashedi ntoher.Shedr oppedher
bagandhuggedmeback.Imi ssedmymot her
somucht hef eeli
ngwasonl yov er
whel mingme
now.Af t
ercent ur
iesofbeinginherar msshe
beganwi l
di ngandsai d"Watsebamot hootlago
tl
imar el
agont segof i
shakamokgwao! "(
Some
peoplewi llclingontoy oueveninthisheat !
)I
l
aughedandunwr
appedmyarmsof
fher
.She
hel
dbothmyhandsandsmi
l
ed.Wegoti
n.

Iwentbehindtheki t
chencount erasshewent
towardsthecouch, si
lentlysur
veyingmypl ace
withhereyes.Ijustpretendednott oseeher
andlaughedtomy sel
fbecauseIknewshe
wasn'tgonnafindat hing.Shefinal
lyspoke.

Her
:Howar
eyoubaby
?
Me:
I'
mfi
nemomma!Keshar
p!Howar
eyou?
Shesl owl
ydroppedherheadbutkeptherey es
onme.Shesl ight
lysmiledinsuspici
on.Ismi l
ed
backanddr oppedmyshoul ders.Sheseesright
throughme.Shet appedthecoucht oshowt hat
shewant edmet ocomesi tbesideher.Iput
closedthefri
dgeanddidexact l
ythat.
Her
:Godir
agal
aengPonkoponko?
(What
's
goi
ngon?
)
Il
aughedathowshe'
sdet
ermi
nedwi
thcl
i
ngi
ng
ont
othisname.
Me:
Iwonderkemangowe(
..who'
sthat
)
Her
:Youri
magi
nar
yfr
iend.
Il
aughed!Butt
hatsl
owl
yfaded.
Her
:I'
m notstayi
ngbaby.I
'm expect
ingvisi
tor
s
kont
long.
(.
.atthehouse)
.Youknowt hat
mommyi srenovati
ngaker?
Inodded.Shegentl
ysl
appedmyt
highandsai
d
"Now,what'
sgoingon?"
Idi
dn'tknowwher etost art
.Idi dn'
tknowwhat
totel
lherandwhatnott o.Al othashappened,
i
ncludingthi
sXi kombel oissue.Iexhaled.I'm
tr
usti
ngmydi sorganizedbrainandmyr eckl
ess
moutht ogui
demet hrought hisconversati
on.I
j
ustneedt otakeof fsomeoft hisl
oadthat '
s
si
tt
ingonmychestbecauseIcan'
tbr
eat
he
pr
operl
y.

Me:
There'
samanaski
ngf
ormyhandi
n
mar
ri
agemomma.
Shepoppedherey es,gotupandul ulatedwith
herhandsdancingintheair
.Ifonlysheknew
whatbaggagethismar r
iageproposal comes
wit
h.Ijustbl
anklystar
edather.Shet urned,
l
ookedatmeandsl owlyceasedwi thhermi ni
cel
ebrati
on.
Her
:No?
Shesai
dandshookherhead.
Irepl
ied" No"andshookmyheadaswel lt
o
emphasi zethis.Wealway
sdot hi
swhenwe
wantt heothertostopwhatev
eritist
heyare
doing,especiall
yifi
t'
sembarr
assing.
Shecamebackt
osi
tnextt
ome.
Her
:Haomor
ate?
(Youdon'
tl
ovehi
m?)
Me: YohmommaIdo!Kemor
atakapel
oyame
yot
lhe!
Shesuddenl
ylookedbedazzl
ed.
Her:Aketl
haologanye.Narebot hat
akeeng
yanong?Tlogelagompollel
adi kgangkadi
half
aotlhemma( Idon'
tunderstand.Thenwhatis
theprobl
em?Tel lmethefullstory.
)
Me:He'
smar r
iedmama!Andnowwe'
reno
l
ongert
alki
ng.
Ibi
tmyupperli
pandlookedather.Icoul
dn'
t
tel
lwhatwasonhermind.Herfacewasplai
n
butdeepi
nthought
.Sheheavi
lyexhaled.
Her
:Whoi
sthi
smanFi
l
we?Wher
eishef
rom?
Me:KwaZul
u-Nat
al.Hi
snamei
sMuzi
kay
ise
Khumal
o.
Shebr
ief
lyl
ookedawaybutbr
oughtherf
ace
backandhel
dmyrighthand.Shebrushedt
he
i
nsideofmypal
m andstart
edtear
ingup.
Her:
Babygi
rl.Look,
IknowIshoul
d'
vet
oldy
ou
t
hisalongt
imeago.I'm sor
ry.
Ilookedatherwit
hal
ookt
hatcl
ear
lyscr
eamed
"Toldmewhat ?
"
Shekeptquietf
orasecondandt hensaid
"Rememberwheny ouwereingrade6?When
youcamebackhomeandf oundmal ome
Joseph,mal
om MosekiandauntReut l
wilei
n
theli
vi
ngroom athome?Wheny ouwer efir
st
tol
dthatIwasnottheonewhogav ebi
rthto
you?"
Me:
Yes?
Il
ookedatherdeepintheeyewai
tingf
orhert
o
speakbutshewipedhertear
swit
hherthumb
Shebri
eflylaughed,nerv
ousl
y.Shealway
s
l
aughsint hi
smannerwhenshe' sei
therf
uri
ous
ori
ntenselystressed.
Me:Obatagont
haor
engmomma?(
Whatar
e
yousay
ing?
)
Shebentherl
i
psint
oaf rownandpursedher
l
ipswit
htheti
pofhertonguesti
cki
ngout.What
i
sthi
swomant ry
ingtosay?

MyphonerangasIwastry
ingt
odigthet
rut
h
outofmymother
.Idon'
tknowthi
snumber.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Thecal
lerkeptqui
et.Il
ookedatt hescr
eento
checki
fthey'
resti
l
lontheline.Theywere.
Me:
He-l
l
o??
Them:
Makot
i.
Manqoba.Hesoundedli
kehi
sspi
ritwasreal
l
y
down.Myheartski
ppedabeat
.ButIkeptqui
et.
Hi
m:Eish.Idon'
tknowhowt otel
lyouthi
sbut
..
wher
everyouare,ngi
cel
'uhl
alephansi
.
Mybr ai
nwentdeadf orapproximatel
y4
seconds!Cant hisdaygetanywor se?Geele
gorekemol ekonthwe, mothooant oil
engsurel
y
ohwi lekgaleotherwiseneatlafet
saankwel a
bohlokol eyenaaobuset samor ago..
.(I
fthi
sisa
spell
, whoeverbewitchedmei scert
ainl
ydead
bynowot herwise,t
hey'dendupf eeli
ngsorry
formef rom alltheblowsI'm gett
ingand
reverseit)

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t24.

Thephonefellofffrom myhandbecauseIno
l
ongerhadanyst rengthtosuppor titagainstmy
ear.Mymotherwasbr ushingmybackasI
l
oudlywail
edonhershoul der.Shekeptaski ng
mewhat'swr ongbutIcoul dn'tspeak.I'
venever
fel
tsoenervatedanddi spi
rit
ed.Shehur ri
edly
rantot heki t
chenarea.Shegr abbedt hej
ar
l
abel led"Sugar "andquicklytookdownamug
from t hetopcupboar d.Shepour edsomewat er
from t hekitchenandscoopedaf ewspoonsof
sugari nt
ot hemug.Sheappr oachedmeasshe
stir
redher' skhambelel
e'concentrate,car
eful
nottospi l
l.Iwast i
ghtl
ygr abbi
ngont othe
cushi onIhadl aidmyheadonont hecouch.My
l
egswer eweakl yandcar el
esslyplacedonthe
fl
oor .Ihadst oppedcryi
ngbutmyshockhad
forbiddenmef rom makinganymov ements.

Her
:Tsaababy
nyana.(
Take)
.Dr
inkt
his.I
twi
l
l
hel
pyou.
Iheardherquit
eclearl
ybutIcouldn'
tenter
tai
n
herandherglucose-i
nfusedconcocti
on.But
thi
sismymot herwe'retalki
ngabout,she
doesn'tgi
veup.Shenev ergi
vesin.
Her
:AowaFi
l
wet
soga!(
NoFi
l
wegetup!
)
Shesai dasshesatbesi deme, pull
ingmeby
myshoul der
ssoIcansi tupri
ght.Shehel ped
medr inkbyt ippi
ngov erthecupandhol dingmy
chi
nsoIdon' tspil
l.Ihadhalfofit.Sheal l
owed
met ot akeashor tbreaktheninsistedthatI
fi
nishitall,
ofcoursehel pi
ngmet oensur eI
ful
fil
l
edt hisinstr
uction.Ifel
lbackont hecouch
andlookedup.

Her
:Gohl
agaeng?
(What
'sgoi
ngon?
)
Ikeptqui
et.
Her:Fil
webol el
ahl
emot howaModi mo(Please
speak.Mot howaModimocanbel oosely
tr
anslatedto"God'
sperson"
)Ican'
thel
py ouifI
havenoi deawhatyou'
regoi
ngt hr
ough.
It
urnedt
olookather
.
Me:
Muzi
wasi
nvol
vedi
nacaracci
dentma.
Shequi
ckl
ycl
osedhermout
hwi
thherr
ight
hand.Shewasshocked.
Her
:I'
m sosor
rybaby
.Isheokay
?
Me:Ihavenoi
dea.Manqobadi
dn'
tgoi
ntoany
det
ail
s.Whati
fhe'
sdeadmama?
Her:
He-eh.Bothli
feanddeathcomefr
om t
he
decl
arat
ionthatourmout
hsmake.Youdon'
t
knowwhat'sgoingon.Whereishe?
Me:Apparent
lyi
nsomehospit
alher
einPLK.
Hi
sbrothersai
dhesentacart
ocomef et
chme.
Her
:I'
m comi
ngwi
thy
ou!
Me:Nomamait'
stoosoon.Yousai
dy ou'
renot
st
ayi
ng.GohomesoIcanprepar
emy self
.
Ididn'twanthert ocomewi thmebecauset hi
s
wasgoi ngtol ookawkwar dfrom myside.
Especi all
yifhisfamilyi
sgoi ngtobethere.I
didn'
twanti ttoappearast houghI'
m alr
eady
feeli
ngcomf or t
ableandconsideri
ngmy selfas
apar toft heirfamil
y.Br
ingingmymom al ong
wasgoi ngt
osendexactl
ythi
sty
peofmessage.
Iexpl
ainedtoher
.Shetookmyhandagai
n.

Her
:Fi
l
webaby
?
Il
ookedather
.Iwashonest
lyst
art
ingt
oget
annoyedbyal
loft
his.
Her:Kaset
so(
Byt
radi
ti
on)y
ou'
real
readyhi
s
wif
e.
WHATTHE!
???Myjawf
ell
tot
hef
loor
.Whati
s
mymot
hersayi
ngt
ome?
Me:
Eng?
(What
?)
Her:Hisfamil
ymarr
iedyouwhenyouwer
e11
yearsold.Hewas20attheti
mebutheal
so
didn'
tknowwhenithappened.
THI
XOWASEBLOEMFONTEI
N!!
!Itnev
erends.
Idr
oppedmyt
ear
sandj
ustst
aredather
.
HOW?
Her:Ican' texplaineveryt
hingr i
ghtnowmy
babyit'sav erylongst ory.Preparetogot othe
hospital.You'l
lfindmeher e.Iaskedhert o
l
eav einsteadbecauseIwant edtobeal one.She
tr
iedtopr otestbutIwentt ot hedoor,openedit
andwai tedf orhert omakeherexi t
.She
exhaled, t
ookherbagf r
om thecouchand
approachedme.Idi dn'
twantt ol
ookather .I
couldn't
.SoIj ustkeptmyey esgluedtothe
ground.Shebr ushedmyupperar m andkissed
mycheek.Ij ustst oodthere,motionl
ess.She
l
eft.

Aft
erIclosedandl ockedt hedoor,Isunkdown
agai
nstitandcriedmyey eball
sout.Whohav eI
wrongedngempel a?Notonl ydidhel ieabout
bei
ngmar ri
edtoMabuy ibutheal soliedabout
bei
ngmar ri
edtomeaswel l
!?Doessheev en
knowaboutt hi
s?Ifhe'sdeadt henitmeansI '
m
nowawi dow?Fant asti
c!Awhol ebl oody
eur
eka!
!

Aft
erhour sofsit
ti
ngmybut tonthecol
dfloor
,I
fi
nal
lygott hecouraget ost
andupandgo
shower.Igottomyr oom andcaughtagl
impse
ofmy sel
font hemi r
ror.Myeyeswereallr
ed
andpuf f
edup.Iam aj oketothisent
ir
e
uni
verse.Awhol ebioskop.

Itookashortshowerandl otionedmybody .I
t
wasextremelyhotsoIopt edf orablueandred
maxi dr
esswithwhitepush- i
nsandles.My
hair
cutwasnol ongerf r
eshandIhadnoener gy
tobecombi ngitsoIthrewmywi gonmyhead.
Iwasalsonotaboutt helif
eofgl ui
ngiton.I
t'
ll
havederiv
eamechani sm ofhowt ostabi
li
ze
i
tselfonmyhead.

Ir
ecei
vedacal
lasIr
ubbi
nghandcr
eam ont
o
myhandsandIt ooki t
.Itwasnowi nthe
ev eni
ngaround18h00.Mydesi gnateddr
iver
announcedt hathe'soutsi
deandal sodescri
bed
thecarhewasdr i
ving.Iunpl
uggedmyphone
from thecharger
,lockedmypl aceandheaded
downst ai
rs.

Igottothebackseatoft hecarandgreetedhim.
Ihadnoi nt
erestinenter
taini
nghimtobe
honest.I
'm nothereforanytheat
ri
cs.Ijust
wantedtogett othehospital
.Iwasgrateful
for
thesi
lenceinthecarunt i
lhefumbledand
deci
dedt ospeak.
Hi
m:Ungakhat
hazeki
kakhul
uuzobari
ght
uMK(
Don'
tworr
ytoomuchMKi sgonnabefi
ne)
Iraisedmyheadt olookathim.Peoplewhocal
l
Muzi "MK"ar epeoplewhoknowhi m well
.I
couldn'tbel
ieveIdidn'
tseethatTebogowasthe
driv
erunt i
lnow.Ismi l
edalit
tlet
opushaway
theshamef r
om myself.Hemustbet hi
nki
ng
thatI
'
m natural
l
yrude.Iapologi
zedbuthedi
dn'
t
seem tomind.Hejustaskedmet ost
op
worryi
ng.

Wegott ot hehospi tal

andhegotof fwithme.I
wasthinkingt hathewasonl ydr
oppingmeof f
.
Wegott hereandpr essedtheelevator.Ididn'
t
evenseewhi chfloorwewer eheadingt o.Ijust
wantedt ogett here.Wefinall
ydid.Wef ound
Manqobasi t
tingononeoft hesil
vergrey
metalli
cbenches.Hehadcl osedhi sey esand
wassuppor t
inghisheadont hetopoft he
backrest,wit
hhi shandsinhi spockets.

Tebogogottohim,hi
thim onhisthi
ghandsai
d
"MQ!"Thenhesatdownnexttohim.Istoodi
n
fr
ontofhim wai
ti
ngforanswers.Heopenedhi
s
eyesandgreet
edme.Hegotupt ohugmeandI
huggedhi
m back.Heheldbot
hhi
skneesand
sunkdownonhisseat.

Me:
What
'sgoi
ngon?
Him:Appar
ent
lyhelostcont
rolofhiscarand
spedtowar
dsatruck,goi
ngunderneathi
t.
Tebogo:Butsomethingdoesn'
tquit
emake
sensehere.Nj
enjeoutofthegreen?Al
lofa
Sunday?Onast r
aightl
ane?
Manqobaexhaledandwi
pedhi
sfacewit
hbot
h
hi
shands,f
all
ingbackont
hebackr
est
.
Hi
m: That
'swhatI
'
vebeent
oldbyt
het
ruck
dr
iver
.
Tebogo:
Ukuphi
yena?
(Wher
eishe?
)Thet
ruck
dri
ver
?
MQ:Hegotexami
nedanddi
scharged.He'
s
t
otal
l
yfi
ne.ButMK'
scari
sawr i
te-
off.
Het
ookouthi
sphoneandshoweduspi
ctur
es.
Darknesssurroundedmyhear t
.Ifthecarlooks
l
ikethisthenwhatmusthebel ookingl
ike?I'
m
moreconcer nedabouthishealthnowthanhi s
tr
ansgressions.Whil
eIwasst i
lltr
yingt
oget
whetherIcouldseehim ornot,hismom,
Mabuy iandsomeguyIdon' tknowwal kedin.

Mabuy iandtheguyf r
anti
call
yapproached
Manqobaal solookingforanswer
s.Hismom
heldandhuggedme.Shel etgoandalsowent
towardsMQ.Ev er
ybodywasbusyt al
kingwhen
theguyappr oachedme.Nobodyt ooknoti
ceof
thi
s.
Hi
m:Sawubona.
Me:
Hi
Him:I
gamanguMbuso.(
Mbusoist
hename)
.I
don'
tthi
nkI
'
veseeny
oubefor
e.
Hesaidandgav
emehi
shand,
looki
ngf
ora
handshake.
Me:
Boi
kokobet
so.
Isai
dasIgav ehim mine.Heheldontomy
handlongerthanheshould'
ve.Thi
sfelt
awkwardsoIt ri
edtotakemyhandback.He
l
ookedlostinmyey es.Hethenret
urnedback
toear
thandshookhi sheadwhenManqoba
sai
d"Mbuso!? "
,hisf
acewasnothappy .

TheDrappr oachedusandev er
ybodystoodup
witht hei
rearsintheair
.Heremov edhi
s
stethoscopef r
om hisneckandputhispenback
i
nt othetoppocketofhi swhi
tecoat.Helooks
Indian.
Hi
m:I
sev
ery
oneher
erel
atedt
othepat
ient
?
Hi
smom:
Yes!What
'sgoi
ngon?
Him: Al
ri
ght.MrKhumalosuff
eredal otof
i
nternalbl
eedingandhehasaf ewbr okenri
bs.
We'vemanagedt ostabi
l
izehi
mt houghbuthe's
notcompletel
youtofdangeryet.Heal soneeds
blood.TheSANBSdoesnothaveenoughf
or
bloodtypeOnegat
ive.Doesev
ery
bodyher
e
knowt hei
rbl
oodty
pe?
Manqobasai dhe'sabl oodt ypeB.Hedoesn't
mat ch.TheDraskedt hatweal l
gett
est
edt o
seewhoi samat ch.Ev erybodywentinone
aftertheother.ExceptGugu.TheDrsai dhe
doesn'tdrawbl oodfrom pr egnantwomen.
Nobodywasamat ch.Iwast heonl
yoneleft
.I
startedpanicki
ng.Idon' tknowmybl oodtype.
Whati fI'
m notamat cheither?

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t25.

ThepainIf el
tonmyri
ghtar
m whenthebl
ood
wasbei ngdrawni
snothi
ngcomparedtot
he
thoughtoflosi
ngMuzi
kayi
seforl
i
fe.I
desperatel
ywanthi
mtowakeup.Iwanthimto
wakeupsoIcanaccepthi smar ri
agepr oposal
.
Idon'tknowi fI'
llbeabl et oli
v ewithhi m but
onet hingf orsurei sthatIwon' tbeabl et oli
ve
withouthi m.Inol ongercar eaboutt he
negot iat
ionst hattookpl aceexpi redy ear sago,I
nol ongercar eaboutGugul ethubeingi nthe
picture,Inol ongercar eaboutt hefightwehad
thismor ni
ng.Ijustwanthi mt owakeupsoI
cant ellhim Ilovehi m back.Iwanthi mt owake
upsohecanknowt hatI'm happywi ththe
choicet hattheuni v
ersehasmadef orme.The
goodabouthi m out weight hebadsoI '
m gonna
taket hischanceandr unwi thit.I'
m gambl i
ng
withmyhear tbutMuzi kayiseKhumal oi sworth
i
t.Theset hought swer er unningf l
oodi ngmy
mi ndasIf elttheneedl esucki ngoutmybl ood.

Af
teri
tgotconf
ir
medt hatmybloodmat ches
hi
s,hi
smom couldn'
tstopsmil
ing.Manqoba
wentoutt
ogetmef oodbecausemyglucose
l
ev elswer eapparentlylow.Thedoct orsaidI
needt oeatandwai tformybodyt odigestand
breakdownt hecarbsbef oret heycant akethe
blood.Ihadnot hingt oeatsi ncemor ning.My
bodysomehowf orget sithasast omachwhen
I
'm st r
essed.Tebogoannouncedt hathehas
placest obebutpr omi sedManqobat hathe's
goingt ocallandcheckuponMK.Theyf i
st
bumpedandhel eft.Iwonderhowt hesetwo
gott oknowoneanot her.TheDrr efusedwhen
wewant edtoseeMuzi aftertheblood
transfusionandwasadamantt hatheneedst o
rest.Icouldn'tr
eadMabuy i'
sface.Ithonestly
doesn'tshockmeanymor e.

Nobodywaswi l
li
ngtoleavethehospit
altogo
sleep,nomatterhowmanyt imesDrHassan
suggestedthi
sbutmaf or
cedMabuy itogo
sleepbecauseofher"condit
ion".Shewas
reluct
antbutsheeventual
lyagreedtogetdri
ven
t
oahotelbyMbuso.Het
ookhert
her
eand
madehi
swayback.

Thet imewasnow03h34.Imanagedt orestfor

aboutanhouraf tert
heydr ewt heblood.My
bodywassl eepingbutmymi ndwasn' t
.Everfel
t
l
ikey ourspi
ritwasawakewheny ourbodywas
sleeping?If
eltexact
lythatway .Iwasaf r
aid
thatMuzi mightdiewhil
eI'm busysleeping.I
woul dn'
thaveforgi
venmy self.Theonlything
thatenabledmet osleepwast heenergyIdid
nothav e.

Tebogocamebackt ot hehospi
talwit
hav ery
l
argeTupper warefull
ofham andcheesebr own
breadsandwichesandacool erbox.Itwasasi f
hebroughtwat ert
opeopl ewhohav ebeen
stuckonadeser tforaweek.Hef urt
herst
ated
thatthesandwicheswer eacourtesyofhi
s
mot herandthatshesendsherl ov
et oMuzi and
thatshe'spray
ingforthewholeKhumal ofami l
y.
Suchani cewoman!If ell
inlovewithheratfir
st
sightandIdon'tdoubtforasecondt hatshe'
d
dosomet hi
ngofthi
sbeaut i
ful
nature.

Manqoba:Ngazi
le(Iknewit
)vel
ethati
t
wouldn'
tbeyoubecauseyoucan'
tevenboi
l
waterwena.
Hesai dasheopenedacol dcanofCoke.
Everyonebur stoutlaughi ng.Tebogoal so
l
aughed, l
ookingdef eated.Thecool erboxwas
ful
lofi ceandav ar
ietyoff i
zzydrinksincans,
small bott
lesofjuiceandbot tl
edwat er.How
considerateofhim.HeaskedhowMKi sand
that
'swhensmi lessl owlyevaporatedfrom
ever
y one'sfaces.

Ma:
We'
rest
il
lwai
ti
ngf
orf
eedback.Kodwa
mi
naIdon'
ttr
ustt
hisdoct
orwi
thmyson.
MQ: Awukahlema.DrHassanisthebestdoctor
i
nt hewholeofLimpopoandhecomeshi ghl
y
recommended.I'
mt heonewhobr oughthim
hereandinsi
stedthathet
akescareofMK.He
knowshisstuffwhencomingtotheER.
Maexhal edinregretandsaid"Okay.I'
m sor
ry.
I'
mj ustworr
iedaboutuBoy ki
e.Ijustdon'
t
understandhowsomet hi
ngliket
hiscanhappen
withhim atf
ault.Iwouldunderst
andi f
somebodycr ashedi nt
ohim butHOW?Muzi i
s
suchagooddr i
ver."
MQ:He'
sgonnabef i
ne.Muziisaf
ight
er.Atr
ue
Mbul
azi
.It
'l
ltakemor ethanj
ustacaracci
dent
t
ogetri
dofhi sannoyingsel
f.
Masoftl
ylaughedandwipedhert
ear
swi
tht
he
t
issueshehadinhand.

Hour
spassedwi
thev
ery
onel
i
steni
ngt
othe
other'
sfl
uctuat
ingbreathingpat t
ernsand
seeingsomepacingupanddown.Thent here
wassunr i
se.Wesawt hedoctorappr oaching
from oneendofthecor ri
dorandweal lst
ood
upandwai tedf
orhimt oarri
ve.Hef inall
ydid
andsaid"Goodmor ningev eryone".Allofus
l
ookedathi mli
kehehadj ustdischar ged
himselffr
om apsychiatri
chospi t
al.Manqoba
l
ookedl i
kehewasr eadyt opunchhi mi nthe
face.

Manqoba:Tel
lme,
what
'ssogoodaboutt
his
morni
ng?
Mbuso:
Whoacal
m downbaf
o.Doc,
anynews?
Doc:Par
donme.Wr ongchoiceofwords.But
MrKi smaki
nggoodprogress.Thetr
ansfusi
on
wasasuccess.Hi
simmunesy st
em i
snotin
anywayrej
ecti
ngthenewbloodandt her
eisno
si
gnofanypyrexi
a,whi
chisacommoni mmune
responseinpatientswithafai
ledblood
transf
usi
on.Andt heoedemaar oundhishead
wentdown.I '
mi mpr essedwit
hbot hhissy
stol
ic
anddiastol
icreadings.Hisheartrat
..
.
Manqoba: Ngiquartertonokumshay al o.
Bekunani uk'
khulumai singi
siesisimpleand
str
aightfoward?( I
'm quartert
obeat i
ngt hi
sone
up.What '
ssodi ffi
cultwithspeakingsimpleand
str
aightf
or war
dEngl ish?)
Hesaidthisashepointedthatdoct
orwithhi
s
i
ndexfinger.Thepoordoctorl
ookedalar
med.
MaheldMQbackbyhi srighthandandtol
dhim
t
orelax.
Mbusowantedtolaughbutrefrai
nedfr
om i
t.
Af
terhecol
l
ectedhimself,hethensai
d"Pl
ease.
Si
mpleEngl
ishassebli
ef.
"tothedoctor
.
Doc:All
I'
m sayi
ngis,MrKishealingquitewel
l
andhishear
tisregai
ningi
t'
sstrength.Andyou
cannowseehim BUT(heraisedhisindex
fi
nger)
,oneatati
meIbeg.Ican'
thaveyou
suff
ocati
ngmypat i
ent
.Heisst
il
lunconsci
ous
andheavil
ysedat
edthoughi
fImustwar n.
Ma:
Thanky
ousomuch.
Doc:I'
mjustdoingmyj ob.Besides,
itwouldbe
anuglypit
ytoletsuchahotmandi einmy
hands.He'sgonnali
ve.Truuust!Heplanteda
kissonhisfi
ngersandputitonMQ' scheek.He
thenfl
appedhiseyeli
ds,twir
ledhisskinnysel
f
andwalkedaway .
ManqobaandMbusower elef
tshockedwi t
h
boththei
rjawsont hefloor.Mapur sedherli
ps
i
ntoanembar rasedsmi le.Idi
dt hesameand
l
ookedaway .Whenmyey eslandedonthef l
oor,
Tebogowasr oll
inginlaughter.Hewasl i
ter
all
y
cryi
ngandi nstitches.Manqobacoul dn'
tstop
wipi
nghischeek.

Af
teral
lthatdr
amadi
ssi
pat
edi
ntot
heai
r,we
wereleftwi
ththeelephantint heroom-
Decidi
ngwhoi sgoinginfi
rst.Mawasaboutt o
speakwhenMabuy iwal
kedi n.Shesmel tgood
andshehadchangedcl othesaswel l
.Shesaid
hergoodmor ningsandwegr eetedback.Ma
suggestedthatIgoinfi
rst
.Mabuy isai
d"Ini
?"
(What?)andtensedhereyebr ows.
Ma:It
'sonl
yrightthatshegoesi
nfir
st.I
fit
wasn'
tforhermysonwoul dprobabl
ysti
ll
f
ight
ingforhi
sl i
feri
ghtnow.
Mabuy i
:NeedIremi
ndev er
yoneherethatI'
m
sti
l
l t
heonlyWIFEtoMuzikayi
se?Iappreci
ate
youdonati
ngyourbloodtohim buty
ou'resti
ll
verymuchasidechicktome.
Awhat !
!?TENSE!!Herwordst ookashor
tcut
vi
amyhear tandwentstr
aighttomyhead.
Ketl
asebet sasel
osesat l
hatsangwananou
si
o.(
I'
llbeatthecr
apoutofhersomucht hat
she'
lli
nstantl
yvomitherchil
d).
Ithi
nnedmyey esandt heonlythi
ngImanaged
tospitoutfr
om mychestwas" Heh! "indisbel
ief
.
Itur
nedt oTebogowhowasnowgawki ngatus
andaskedhi mt otakemehome.Mor elikean
i
nstructi
on.Idi
dn'twaitforananswer .Ijust
stor
medout .MaandManqobat r
iedtospeak
butIam havingnoneoft hattoday .I
fIdon't
l
eavet hi
splaceatt hi
sinstant
,apr egnantdead
bodyisgoingtobewheel edoutoft hi
shospi t
al.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t26.

AsIwasmar chingmywayoutoft hehospi

tal
premi ses,
Inoti
cedbothMbusoandTebogoon
myt racks.Mbusogottomef ir
standwhen
Tebogoshor tl
yarri
vedaf
terhim,heaskedhim
toexcuseus.Tebogogoti nthecarwearri
ved
i
n, t
ookouthi sphoneandsatthere.
Mbuso:
Ulaka!(
Somuchf
ury
!)
Hesai dandsl
ightl
ysmi l
ed.He'
stoochi
l
led
aboutthiswholesi
tuati
on.Il
ookedawayand
l
aughedbecauseIdi dnotknowhowt orespond
tothat.Muzii
nti
midatesmebutbothhis
brothersar
eonanot herl
evel
.
Him:Yehl
is'
umoy aphel
anawe.( Youneedto
cal
m down).Shesurel
ydidn'
tmeananyoft he
thi
ngsshesaid.She'
snotthatki
ndofperson.
Me:WellIdon'
tappr
eciat
eherspeaki
ngabout
melikeI'
m somehoethatgott
ookoffthe
st
reets.
Him: Hayicha.Kthi
waeyamadodaay i
pheli
kodwami nangi yal
a.Ni
na!
?Abafazi
?(I
tissai
d
thatonebetweenmennev erendsbutIbegto
diff
er.Youguy s?Women?)WORSTCASE
SCENARI O.
Hesai
dandl
aughed.Ihadnochoi
cebutt
o
l
aughaswel l
.Hi
slaught
erthensi
lent
lyceased
i
ntoasmile.HewantedtospeakbutI
i
nter
rupt
edhim
Me:
Ireal
l
yhav
etogo.
Him: Ungahambi (Don' tgo) .
I'
m surei ndoda
yakhoi zovukaifunananawel asy okthathaphi
thi
nangob' nayeunenkani uf
ananawe(I 'mvery
surey ourmani sgoi ngt owakeupl ookingfor
you.Wher ear ewegoi ngt ogety oubecausehe
i
sasst ubbornasy ouar e..
)he'
dliterall
ywalk
thesest r
eetsinhishospi talgownl ookingfor
you.Phel ahecan' tstopt alki
ngabouty ouev er
y
ti
mehecal ls.NowIcancl earl
yseewhy .
Hesai d,bl
ushedbutdidn'tr
emov ehisey
es
from mine.Idon'tt
hinkI'
m comfort
ablewit
h
thisconversati
on.Icl
earedmythroatandasI
wasaboutt osaythatI
'mleavi
ng,Manqobaalso
cameoutoft hehospit
al.
HelookedatMbusosuspici
ouslyandknocked
onthecarwindow.Tebogoopeneditand
Manqobatoldhim hecango.
Itri
eddisputi
ngbutManqobai mpatientl
ysaid
"Yazkotiminangi
khat
heleuk'hlal
ngi ci
shanano
mlil
ophakathkwaMKnabaf azbakhe.
Ngiyak'
cela(
I'
mtir
edofalwaysput t
ingoutf i
re
betweenMKandhi swives)
,canwenotar gue?
"
Me: I
fIgobackinther
etherewon' tbeany
peace.I'
m al
l
owing"Thewife"(Isaid,i
mitati
ng
quotati
onmarkswithmyfingers)tohav eallt
he
ti
mei ntheworl
dwithherhusband.Besi des,I
needtogettoworkandI'm al
readyl at
e.
Mbuso:Awundi
ngi
noku'
di
ngal
owo
msebenz(
Youdon'
tev
enneedt
hatj
ob)
Excuseme?
Me:I'
m sor
rybutmyleaveendstodayandI
pr
omisedmybosst hatI
'l
lar
ri
v e,
today.AndI
st
il
lhavetogolooki
ngforasicklet
ter
.
Manqoba:
I'
ll
sor
tthatout
,ify
oust
ay.
Me:
How?
Helaughedandaskedmetotr
usthi
m.Ishe
pl
anningonfaki
ngalet
terf
orme?Hisl
aught
er
i
ssuspici
ous.

Wewentbacki ntothehospitalbecausemy
ragewasn'
tmor eimportantthanseeingthe
l
ov eofmyli
fe.Mast oodupf rom thebench
whenshesawusappr oachingandsai dshe'
s
gladIcameback.
Me:I
'm sor
ryf
orhowIst
ormedoutofher
e.
Mabuyiwasri
ght
.
Shecl
ear
edhert
hroat
.
Her
:Er
h..aboutt
hat
..
.weneedt
otal
k.
Sheprobabl
ydoesn'tknowt hatIal
readyknow
whatshewantsustodi scuss.Ij
ustlookedat
herandtol
dherthatIknow.
Her
:Youknow?
Me:Yes.Iknowt
hatIgotmar
ri
edwi
thoutmy
per
mission.
Ev
ery
one:
YOUKNOW!
?
Il
azil
ysunkdownont
hebench.Theyal
l
sur
roundedmewit
hcuri
ousfaces.
Ma:
Yourmom t
oldy
ou?
Me:
Yes.Yesshedi
d.
Mbuso:Thenwhydi dyoustor
m outwhen
Mabuyisaidshe'
stheonlywif
etobafo?Idon'
t
under
stand.
Me: Sheis.I
nfact.She'
stheonewhohas
experi
encedwhathe' sl
ikeasahusband.She
knowshim.Thef actthatyouboughtmelikea
boxofmat chesdoesnotmakemeaf ullwif
eto
Muzikayi
se.
Iblurt
edthatout
.Idi
dn'
tmeant
o.Ii
nst
ant
ly
regret
tedit
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Ma:I
t'
sokay
.Youhav
eall
ther
ight
sint
hewor
ld
t
ofeelt
hewayyouar
e.

Iwasabouttorepl
ytomawhenMabuy icame
outofMuzi'
sroom.Ourey esmetandshefroze.
Whent hei
cearoundherfeetf
inal
l
ymeltedshe
cont
inuedwalki
ngtowardsus.
Her
:Youcangoi
n.
Shesai
dasshesett
ledonthebench,av
oidi
ng
anyf
orm ofey
econtactwi
thme.Iscoff
ed.
Me:
Yourper
missi
oncomeshi
ghl
yappr
eci
ated.
Isai
dsar
cast
ical
l
y.
Mahi
tmyt
highandsai
d"Sphakami
l
e!"
Thisfel
texact
lyhowitdoeswhenmymom
repr
imandsmef orspeakingoutofturn
wheneverIhaveafall
outwithKgantsho.I
exhal
edandapologized.Imaybet hefi
rstwi
fe
t
radi
ti
onal
l
ybutshe'
sst
il
lol
dert
hanme.

Istoodupandstart
edwalki
ngtowar
dsMuzi
'
s
room.Mabuyisoft
lysai
d"Hey?
"
Isl
owlytur
nedtowardsher
.Shemustnottest
me.Nottoday.Notwhenmyboxi
ngglovesare
outandonstandby.
Me:
Yes?
Her:
I'm..I
'
m sor
ry.Ishoul
dn'
thav
espokent
o
youinthemannerthatIdi
d.
Thatwasunexpect ed.Igent
lynoddedmyhead
andwal kedawaybecauseIdi dn'
tknowwhatt o
say.Icouldn'
tsayIacceptherapologybecause
Ihavenot .

Iwal
kedinandtherehewas.Myheart
i
mmediatel
ybroke.Thi
siswhenithi
tmehow
easi
l
yIcoul
d'v
el osthi
m.Imagi
nelosi
ngt
he
many oul oveatat imewher ehedidn'teven
wanttospeakt oy ou.Itwould'
vekil
l
edme.I
washav ingalltheset houghtswhil
ststanding
bythedoor .Icarefull
ycloseditandwal ked
towardshi sbed.Ipul l
edthechairandsat
besi
dehi m.Icoul dn'tholdbackmyt ears.The
moreIwi pedt hem wast hemor etheyinsisted
onflowingdownmycheeks.

It
ookhi
shandi
nmi
ne.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Myv oicewasbr eaki
ngnomat t
erhowmuchI
tri
edtokeepi tt
ogether.Isomehowf eelguil
ty
forhisaccident
.May beifwehadn'tfoughtit
wouldn'thavehappened.Idon'tknow.May be
hewoul d'
vebeenwi t
hmeatt hetimeitdidsuch
thathim andsuchaf atewouldgopar al
lelways
andnev ermeet.Iwanthimt oopenhi seyesso
hecanst artbei
nghisannoy i
ng,usualself
.
Me:Babypl
easewakeup.Ineedy
out
owake
up.
Icannevergetusedt oseeinglyi
nglifel
essl
y
andhelpl
ess.IrememberhowIf eltt
hef i
rst
ti
mehehadasei zure.I'
m goingthr
ought he
samethingrightnow.Muzi kayi
secannotdie.
Hejustcan'
t.Ikeptthinki
ngandwi pingmy
tear
swithmyl efthand.

Icouldn'tst
opwat chi
nghim andthinki
ngof
howmuchofabeaut i
fulcreat
ionheact ual
ly.
Muzi hasbeautif
ul,wel
lfit
tedfeat
ures.There
wasasi ngl
eknockont hedoorandt heperson
walkedi n.I
twasma.Iwi pedmyt earssoshe
doesn'tseehowmuchofamessIact uall
yam.
I'
ml ate.Shegavemeaconsol i
ngsmi l
eand
camet osqueezemyshoul der
.Shef i
xedMuzi '
s
oxygenmaskandhi sthrowwithherot herhand.
Me:
I'
ll
excusey
ou.
Isai
dasItr
iedt
ostand.Shegentl
ypushedme
backont
omychairandinsi
stedIst
ay.
Her:
He'sgoingtobefi
ne.Ij
ustcametocheck
upony ou.We'
reget
ti
ngcoffee.Howwoul
dy ou
l
ikeyours?
Me:
Lot
sofsugar
.Andmi
l
k.Pl
ease.
Shesmi l
edandsaid"Alr
ightmydarli
."Shewas
abouttowalkawaywhenshesai d"Hay iman.
Kodwani yaf
anani
na"(Thet woofyoulookali
ke)
andthenshesoftl
ylaughed.Idi
sagreedand
l
aughedaswel l
.

Shecont i
nuedlaughi ngasshemadeherway
out.Ifi
xedmychai randsatclosertohi
m.I
exhaled.I
'm honestlyti
red.Physi
cal
ly.
Emot i
onall
y.Ment all
y.Everyfi
berofmeisj
ust
exhausted.
Me:Tsoga.WakeupbecauseyouandIhav
ea
weddi
ngtoplan.Ist
il
lhav
etochanget
hepaint
i
nt hatdingydungeonofy ours.Yousti
llhaveto
makeandf ather10ki ds.AndI'mready.I'
m
readyt obeyourwi feandI '
mr eadytogiveallof
my selftoyou.Pleasewakeup.WakeupsoI
cant elly
outhatIlov eyoutooandbesur ethat
you'r
el i
steni
ng..
.
Thesetears!Lord!Il
ookeduptr
yingtopush
them backbutthatwasjustpl
ainfut
il
e.He
weaklysqueezedmyhandasIwast ryi
ngto
coll
ectmysel f
.Hecanhearme! ?

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t27

Ever
y onemanagedt oseeYi seandt henwe
scat
tered,exceptforhi
smot her.Sheinsist
ed
onstayingatthehospit
alforawhi l
e.Thi smade
mef eelgui
ltybecauseitf
eltli
keIdon'tlovehim
enough.Ididnotwanttoent ert
ainthisfeel
ing
becauseifIal
lowedittocoercemei ntostayi
ng,
Iwould'v
eendedupcol l
apsingduet ofat
igue.
Muzi gavemet heassur
ancet hatheisgoingto
befine.AndI'
m gonnatrusthi
m.

Iwast akenbackt omypl aceandwhenwe

arri
ved,Manqobaaskedmei fIhav equi ck
accesst oapr i
nter.Itol
dhi my es.Isai dt hi
s
withreli
anceont heguydownt hest reet.He
runsasmal linternetcaf é.Ialwaysgot ohi m
whenIneedt ouset hef axort hepr interwhen
I'
m notatwor k.Manqobasai d" Cool"andasked
met okeepmyey eonmyemai lsthisaf ternoon.
Iwonderwher ehe'sgoi ngt ogett hi
sl etter.
Manqobadoesn' tappeart omeasadodgy
characterbutthef actthathewasappar ent l
y
abletohackMbel o'sphonewi theasedoesn' t
sitwellwit
hme.Mbusowast hedr i
veroft he
day.Iwassi t
tingwi thMabuy iinthebackseat .
Bothofuswer eav oidi
ngey econt actwi thone
anot
herbyf
iddl
i
ngwi
thourphones.Awkwar
d.

Thetimewasnow09h38.Igott omyplaceand
thefi
rstthingIdidwast hr
owmysel fonthe
bed.Ihadf orgot
tencompletel
yaboutwork
whenIr eceivedacall
from MrMoko.SHOOT.I
pani
ckedbef oreIcouldanswerthecall
.
Me:
Sssi
r?
Hi
m:Mot
lhabane.Doy
oust
il
lneedt
hisj
ob?
OhGodohGodohGod.
Me: Ofcour
seyesIdo.I'
m sosorryIcouldn'
t
arr
ivethi
smorni
ng.Ioverslept
.Themedication
I'
mt aki
ngismaki
ngmedr owsy.I
'm sosorry
.
Isai
dasIcl
enchedmyt
eet
htoget
her
.He
exhal
ed.
Hi
m:Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Ihatel
yingtoMrMokobecauseofhisstr
ictbut
yetunderst
andi
ngnat
ure.Ihat
ely
ingingeneral
becauseIhatebeingl i
edtomyself
.Li
esmake
mef eell
i
kemyi ntell
igencei
sbeingunder
mined
andtakenforgranted.
Him: Alr
ight.AsI
'
v esai
dbefore,youcant ake
theentir
eweekof fandit
'snolongerupfor
discussi
on.Theofficei
salr
eadyunst abl
e
withoutyouIdon'
tneedmor estress.Seey ou
onMonday .
Hecutthecal
lbefor
eIcoul
drepl
y.Myl
i
feget
s
messi
erwitheachpassi
ngminut
e.

Isl
eptforthewhol edayati nt er
val
s.Ikept
wakingup,tossing,t
urningandgoi ngbackto
sl
eeptil
levening.Ieventuallywokeupbecause
mywhol ebodywaspai nful.Isli
dintomy
sl
ipper
sandwentt oswi tchont hel i
ght
s.It
hen
wenttothekitchen,openedt hefri
dgeand
cl
oseditbecauseIhadnoi deawhatIwas
l
ookingforinitanyway.Ineedcof fee.Orwi
ne.
Orbot
h.

Myphoneringsjustaskett
lest
opsboil
i
ng.I
t'
s
ma.Myhear tski
ppedabeat.Whatif
?Iqui
ckl
y
sl
i
demyt humbacr ossthephoneandputi
ton
myear.
Me:
Ma?
Her.Mydar
li
ng.Pleasegetyoursel
ftot
he
hospi
tal
thi
sinst
ant.Uvuki
leuPhakamani
.(He'
s
awake)
Lor
dthanky
ou!
Me: Okaykeal
ebogakemot
sel
eng(
Thanky
ou
I
'm onmyway )

Iwasconf l
ict
edbetweent aki
ngaqui ckshower
andbathingli
ketaxidr
iver.ButIoptedforthe
for
mer.Af t
erIwasdone, Iputonat ightknee-
l
engthblackdress,bl
acksneaker sandMuzi '
s
hoodiebecausei twasabi tchil
ly
.It hr ewonmy
wigbecausemyhai rcutwasonsomeandi zi.I
haven'tbeentaki
ngcar eofmy selflat elyandi t
shows.Iwasl uckyt of i
ndat axithatwasgoi ng
todropmeof fri
ghtout sidethehospi tal
premises.Thedr i
v erkeptmaki ng
unappreciat
edadv ancesatmebutIf aked
smilesbecausehewasal readydoingmea
favourandIwast heonl yoneinthet axi.Risky
much?

HeaskedmewhoI '
m goi ngtoseeatthe
hospi
tal
.Itol
dhim mydi abeti
caunt.Hekept
sayi
ng"Shem afol
er akgadihle"
(Shameaunty
shoul
dgetwellsoon).Iwasv erycooperat
ive
andgenerouswit
hfalseinformationbecause
wedon'twantanytroublenowdowe?Thi sis
SouthAfr
ica.
Wheni
twasti
mef ormet ogetoffheaskedfor
mynumber
s.It
oldhim Idon'
tknowt hem by
heartbutIcancall
them outfrom myphone,
whichalsostoodinmydef ensebecauseit
l
ookedf ai
rl
ynew.Hepr obablythoughtIj
ust
boughtandgotanewsi mcar d.Hetookouthis
phoneandIcal l
edoutMuzi '
snumberandgot
off
.

Iarri
vedatt hehospitalrecepti
onandgotdone
withthenecessar yadmi n.Ithengoti nt
othe
el
ev at
orandwentup.Muzi 'sscentfrom his
hoodieunexpect edl
yhi tmynost ril
swhenIbent
overtofastenmyshoel aces.It'
sbeenday s
si
ncehegav ei tt
omebutt hescentisstil
l
fl
exing.Ihav en'
twashedt hissweat erandI '
m
evennotpl anningto.Theexci tementstarted
buil
dingupwhent hel i
ftdoorswi ft
lypull
ed
i
tselfapartformet oexi t.

Igott
ohi
sroom andknocked.May
ell
ed
"
Ent
er!
"
Idid.IfoundherhelpingMuzidri
nkwat erwit
ha
str
awandhi shandinMabuy i'
sont heot her
si
deoft hebed.Idi
dn'tfi
ndthi
ssi ghtcutenor
att
racti
v e.Atall
.Ii
gnoredhowev erandgr eet
ed
everyone.Theyallcheerf
ull
ygreetedmeback,
i
ncludingher .O-
kay.

Muzi feeblysmi ledandsai d"Heyy ou".Ismil

ed
backandasked" Yougood?Mani gga? "
.He
weaklyl aughedandsai d" Yazingiyadelel
wa
l
aph' emhl abeni"(I'
m beingdisrespectedhere).
Manqobashor t
lywal kedi nandsai d"Mubi?
Uvukile?"(
Uglyone.You' reawake? )Hesai dand
smil
ed.Muzi t
ri
edt olaughbuthecoughed
i
nstead.Mai nsist edthathedr i
nksmor ewater.
Heobl iged.Afterhecomposedhi msel f,he
repl
iedt ohisbr otherandsai d"Jasat an".
MK:
Grand?
MQ:
Wenaugr
and?
Theybot hsmi l
edtoeachot herbef orehe
repli
ed" I
'
m okay.Angit
hi youwer ehopi ngthat
I'
lldi
esoy oucancomf ortablycont inuesteal
ing
myi mpor t
antstuff
".Manqobabur stout
l
aughi ng.I'
m guessi
ngt hese" stuf
f "arethe
condomst heywerearguingov ertheot herday.
Ma:
Whatar
ethose?
MKandMQ:
WHATARETHOSE'
aaa!
?
Theysaid,
imit
ati
ngascenef r
om Blackpant
her
befor
etheyconti
nuedlaughi
ngli
ketheidi
ots
theyar
e.Weallcouldn'
thel
pbutlaughaswell
unti
lMuzihel
dhisribareagr
oani
ngi npai
n.
Ma:Nathi
,ngi
zok'
xosha?
(I'
m cl
oset
oki
cki
ng
yououtofher
e)
Shesai
dandpoi nt
edheri
ndexf ingerathi
m as
awarni
ng.Him andMuzipursedt hei
rli
pstr
ying
tocompresst
heseeminglystrongurgetolaugh.
Afterallthatci
rcusdi
eddown, Muzi pol
i
tely
askedev eryonetoexcuseus.Manqobal ooked
i
nmydi recti
onandsaid" Mi"(Take)
,handingme
abr ownA4env el
ope.Ijustfi
gureditwast he
doct or
'snote.Hawu,Ithoughthewasgoi ngto
emai li
ttome.Iaskedhi m wher ehegotitand
helaughed.
Him:Uy
ayi
funanomacha?
(Doy
ouwanti
tor
not?
)
Muzi:Babytr
ustme.Awuf
unukuzazizi
ntozal
o
skhot
heni(
Youdon'
twanttoknow).
Mabuy il
aughed,st
oodupandki ssedMuzi '
s
for
ehead.Heheldhertummywhi l
eshedi dthis.
IguessIjusthavetogetusedtothis.Ithought
tomy sel
fasIlookedaway.Theyallleft
.

Webothst
aredateachotherandbl
ushed.I'
m
sogl
adhe'
srecover
ing.Thi
swholeexper
ience
hast
aughtmehowt
oletpet
tyt
hingssl
i
de.
Hi
m:Wozak'
mina(
Comet
ome)
Iwentt owardshi sbed.Hesof tl
ypulledmeby
myhand, t
henmywai standki ssedme.Iwas
carefulnottorev i
veanyofhi swounds.Ibr oke
thekissandt r
iedt opullt
hechai r.Hestopped
meandaskedt hatIsitonthebed.I '
velearntto
l
ongerar guewi thhimi fi
t'
snotnecessar y.He
clenchedhisteet handadjustedhi mselfsohe
canputhi sheadonmybr easts.Seeinghimi n
somuchpai nbr eaksmyf ragi
leheart.

Therewascomplet
e,mel
anchol
icsi
l
enceaf
ter
hegotset
tl
ed.Iadj
ust
edhispi
ll
owandweboth
exhal
ed.
Me:
I'
m sor
rybaby
.
Icoul
dseehi
mt ensi
nghi
sey
ebr
owsf
rom
abovehi
shead.
Hi
m:Forwhat
?
Me:Idon'
tknow.Iki
ndaf
eel
gui
l
tyf
ory
our
acci
dent
.
Hi
m:Nonsense.I
tjusthadt
ohappen.
Me:
Whatdoy
oumean?
Him:Ineededt
ohav
eaconv
ersat
ionwi
thmy
ancest
ors.
What
?
Me:
What
?
Hi
m:I
'
llt
ell
youal
labouti
tsomeot
hert
ime.
Me:
Alr
ight
.Iwaswor
ri
edsi
ckabouty
ou.
Him:Iwasdisappoi
ntedwhenIwokeupand
youwerenothere.
Ithur
tsmet
hatMabuy
iwasher
eforhi
m bef
ore
Icoul
d.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.Il
efti
nthemor
ning.
Hi
m:It
houghty
oudi
dn'
tcomeatal
l
.
Sohim squeezi
ngmyhandwasj usta
subconsciousr
efl
ex.Iwasn'tev
enhurtbythi
s
becausetheonlyt
hingIcaredaboutr
ightnow
i
shim beingali
veandawake.Andhealing.
Me:
Iwasher
e.It
houghty
oucoul
dhearme.
Hesmil
edandsaid"Bewut
hini
?(Whatwer
eyou
say
ing?
)Icanheary
ounow"
Il
aughedandsai
d"Mci
i
m".
Hi
m:Wer
eyoubeggi
ngmenott
odi
e?
Hesaidandsequenti
all
ymov edhisshoul
ders
upanddowninlaughter.Il
aughedaswelland
gent
lyhi
thi
sforehead.He'sanidi
ot.
Me:YesIwas.Andt
hatI
'
mreadyt
obey
our
wi
feMbulazi
.
Hequi
ckl
ybenthi
sneckandl
ookedmei
nthe
ey
e,bl
ushi
ng.
Hi
m:Angi
zwa?
(Par
don?
)
Me:
I'
mreadyt
ori
ski
tal
landl
ovey
ouwi
thal
l
ofmeMnt
ungwa.
Hi
ssmi
l
egr
ewwi
der
.
Me:AndI
'
mr eadyformybodyt
ogr
owand
nur
tur
eal
lyourseeds.
Hecoul
dn'
tst
opbl
ushi
ng.
Hi
m:Al
l10oft
hem?
Me:
Ha.
ah!
!
Isai
dandpl
ayf
ull
yhi
thi
sshoul
der
.
Me:
Mybodyisnotst
rongenought
ogi
vebi
rt
h
t
oasoccert
eam.
Isawasmugsmi
l
eonhi
sfacebef
orehecoul
d
repl
y.
Hi
m:We'
l
lsee.
Il
aughedbecauseheal
way
sdef
eat
sme.
Hebithi
supperl
i
pint
houghtbef
oresai
d"Baby
?
Aboutyoubei
ngmywi
fe?"
Me:
Yes?
Hi
m:Ei
sh.
.weneedt
otal
k.
Me:
Ial
readyknow.
Hi
m:YOUDO!
?

UNEDI
TEDASALWAYS.EXCUSEANYERRORS.

"Howdoest
heti
tl
erel
atet
othestory
li
ne?
".I
seem t
obeget
ti
ngthi
squest
ionalot.

'
Gugul
ethu-
(MY)husband'
swi
fe.
'

Thewhol estoryisaboutBoikokobetso's
experiencewi t
hshar i
ngamanwi thawoman
cal
ledGugul ethu.Hencet he"My ".I
'
v esaidthi
s
before,Ionlywr i
teinsingl
e,fi
rstperson
narrati
ve.Betsoistheonenar rati
ngt hestor
y .
Thest orywillnolongermakesensei fthefi
rst
persont el
li
ngt hestorywasGugul et
huorev en
thehusbandhimsel f.(
MY)husband'swif
e.Who
am I?Boikokobetso.Whatam Idoing?Shar
ing
amanwi t
hGugul ethu.IhopeI'
vecl
earedal
l
theconfusionI'
vebeenpi cki
ngupinthe
comment s.
I
nser
t28.

Beforewecoul dcont i
nuewi t
hourconv ersat
ion,
theDrwal kedinandannouncedt hatvisiti
ng
hoursar eov er.Wet r i
edpr ot esti
ngbuthe
wasn'thav ingit.Muzi kissedmebr i
efl
yt henI
mademywayout .Iwentt obi dev ery
one
goodby e.Isawi tbestt odosobef oreany
bicker
ingcoul dar ise.Imeanti twhenIsai dI'
m
experi
enci ngal lfor msoft iredandal lit
's
grandchildren.Exhaust edi sanunder statement .
Mbusoar rivedaswewer est il
lhaving
meaningl essconv er sations.Maf i
rmlyst ated
thathecan' tseehi sbr ot herbecausehewas
outtoGodknowswher e.Sheaskedwhyhi s
phonewasof fandhenonchal antl
ysaid
somet hi
ngimpor t
antcameup.Het henof fered
totakemehomebutManqobai mmedi atelyput
ast optothatnonsense.I
'm notcomf or t
abl e
aroundMbuso.I '
m notcomf ortabl
ear ound
Manqobaei therbutIfeelsafearoundhi m.
Mabuy iandmadar tedtheireyesbetweent he
threeofus,confused.Manqobai mmedi ately
announcedt hathe'
llt
akemehome, gently
pushedmet owardsthedirecti
onoft heel evator
bymyshoul dersandwel eft.

Therewasawkwar dsilenceinthecarandIhad
everyintenti
onofbreakingit.Curi
osi
tywas
havingit'
swaywi thme.Igl ancedathima
coupleoft imesashegl uedhiseyesonthe
road.Hedi dn'
tlookli
kehewasi nagoodmood
butI'm goingtowalkintothisli
on'
sden.I
fIdie,
Idie.
Me:
Manqoba?
Hi
m:Hm?
Hesaid,
stil
lkeepi
nghiseyesontheroad.My
t
onguesuddenlycaughtheavyner
ves.He
t
urnedtolookatmebr i
efl
y.
Hi
m:uRi
ght
?(Youokay
?)
Me:
LookIdon'
twantt
ocauseanyt
ensi
onbut
..
Hi
m:Buuut
?
Hewasmov i
nghiseyesfr
om theroadt
ome
fr
om ti
met oti
me.LordhowdoIev enbegi
n
sayi
ngthi
s?WhatwasIev enthinki
ng?I
shoul
d'
vejustkeptqui
et.
Him:Lent'
ofunaukuyi
shongi
zoyizwa
namhlanj
eormhl ampengo2030?(Am Igoi
ng
tohearwhateveri
tisy
ouwanttosaytodayor
i
n2030? )
Me:
Howwoul
dyoudescr
ibebhut
'Mbuso?
Me:Iscef
enj
esomunt
u.(
Anui
sanceofa
per
son)
Thiscaughtmebysur pri
sebecauseIwas
expecti
ngthathe'
dhav eamor ecl
oselyknitt
ed
rel
ati
onshipwithMbusot hanMuzisincethey
sharebothparent
sandar eabsol
ute,brot
her-
germansibli
ngs.Buti
nsteadhishalf
-brot
heris
hisbestf
ri
end.Weird.
HeexhaledandsaidthatMbusoisnothi
ngbut
tr
ouble.Andt
hatIshouldst
ayawayf r
om hi
m.
Thisgavemechil
ls.Isai
d"Okay"andwentout
ofthecar.

Theclockonmyphoner eport
edthati
twas
21h40.IwantedtoeatbutIhadnoappetit
e.I
optedforaglassoforangejui
ceandwent
str
aighttobed.Ihonest
lyneedsomealcohol
in
mysy stem.
I
'
m notset t
inganyal
armt oday.AsmuchIhat
e
t
hefactthatI'
vemanagedt oconvinceMrMoko
t
hatI
'm sickwhereasI
'm not,I
'
m goingtot
ake
ful
ladvantageoft hi
s"si
ck"leav
e.Tomor r
owI '
m
headinghome.Mymom hasal otofexpl
aining
todo.I'
m notev engoingtoannouncethatI'
m
enroutebecauseIknowI 'm goi
ngtofindher
ther
ewi t
halltheserenovati
onsshehasgoi ng
on.

Idon'
tknowwhatt i
memybr aindeci
deditwas
ti
mef ori
ttoshutdownbutIsawmy selfwaking
upat09h32.Mybodydoesn' tnormall
ywakeup
atthi
stimebutIwasn'tsurpr
ised.Mybiol
ogical
cl
ockmustbebr okenbecauseoft hehell
I'
ve
beenputti
ngitt
hroughlatel
y.

Iwokeup, gott ot
heki t
chenandmademy sel
fa
bowlofcereal .Mytastebudsfel
tdead.My
appeti
teont heotherhandwasl ike"We'l
lsee
whetheryou'l
l beabletofini
shthissi
s".I
managedt ot akeinjust3spoons.Icouldn'
t
stomachanymoret
hanthat.Ispi
l
tthemil
kin
thesi
nkandthr
ewthesoli
dsinthebin.

Iwasaboutt opi ckoutmyout f

itoftheday
whenMuzi calledchecki nguponme.Wespoke
forabout7mi nutesbef oremyshower .Aft
erI
wasdoneshower ing,Igotdr essedi nsimple
blue,
bottom-foldedj eans, abluet anktopand
sli
ponsandl es.Ihadnochoi cebutt oweara
wigbecausemyhai risst il
lonst ri
ke.Ineedt o
goseemybar bersoon.Iputmyhai rbrush
downandt ookoutmygol dsli
ngbag.Imust
say,Il
ook2t i
mesneat ert hanIdi dthepast
coupleofday s.It'
snotabi gdeal butI'
m proud
oftheef f
ortItookonmyappear ancetoday .I
'm
abigbel i
everinthef actt hatonedoesgood
whent heylookandf eel good.AndIf eelabi t
l
ightertoday.Happi er.
Itookat axi
homeandf oundmymom out si
de
yell
ingatthepoorcont ractor
s.She'sstressed.
Mymom hasabadhabi toftakingouther
fr
ust r
ati
onsonpeopl ewhoknoworhav e
nothingtodowithheri ssues.Shel oweredher
voicewhenshesawmeandt oldthem tocarry
onwor ki
ng.Sheappr oachedmewhenIwas
tr
y i
ngtoclosethegat e.Shewasl ookingatme
withsadandapol ogeticeyes.She'ssuret hat
I'
m madather ,whichI '
mf arfrom.I'mjust
confusedandcurious.

Her
:Fi
l
webaby
?
Ikeptqui
etandwenttohugher.Sheretur
nedit
andgraduall
yhuggedmet i
ght
er.Sheasked
thatwewalkint
othehouseandt ookmybag.I
hadmycel l
phoneinmyhand.Undernormal
cir
cumstances,weshoul
dbelaughingand
mockingeachotherbynowbutwewer enot.
Wegott othehouseandsatdownont hecouch.
Sher ubbedbot hofherthighs,dart
edherher
eyesar oundandaskedmei fI
'
dl i
keanythi
ngto
dri
nk.Mymom' sbehaviorisweirdtoday
.She's
tr
eatingmel ikeaguest.Thi si
smyhome.I fI
wantedany thingtodri
nkIwoul d'vewent
str
aighttotheki t
chen.Idon'tneedher
permi ssi
onforthat.
Me:
I'
mfi
nemama.
Her
:Fi
l
webekeny
ak.
..
(Iwant
edt
o..
)
Me:Let
'smakethissi
mplemom.Look,Iam not
madatyou.Butr
ightnowIneedanswer
s.SoI'l
l
askandyouanswer.Wit
hhonest
y.Deal
?
Shenoddedherheadandsai
ddeal
.
Iwasaboutt ospeakwhenwehear dsomet hing
heavil
ysmashi ngont hef l
oorandbr eaki
ngi n
oneoft hebathrooms.Mymom t ight
lyclosed
hereyesandsl owlyexhal edthroughhernose
tostophersel
ff rom exploding.Il
aughedand
tol
dhert orel
axandt hatit'
l
lbeov ersoon.I
askedherthatwegoeatsomewher ei
ntown
becausethenoi seherewasunbear
abl
e.She
wasskepticalaboutleav
ingt
hebuil
der
shereto
bebythemselv es
Me:Marant
ateSi
thol
eogonamama(
ButMr
Si
thol
eisar
oundmom)
Thisi
st hemanweshar eaf encewit
h.He'
sthe
headoft hi
swhol er
enovatingmessandIknow
shetrustshim.Shefinal
lyagreedandwentto
changehercl ot
hesandf et
chherhandbag.

Wewal kedt otownbecausei twasn'

tfar.She
saidshe' scravingformal amoguduandI '
m
paying.Wheni tcomest omoney ,
mymom i s
thegr eatestopportuni
stt oeverwalkthe
surfaceoft heear t
h.Iagreedandwef oundthe
perfectrestaurantforthat.Sheorderedwhat
herhear tdesiredandIj ustaskedforaglassof
orangej uice.Mymom i nst r
uctedthewaitert
o
puti
nanorderoftwopl
atesofpapandmala
mogudu.Idi
dnotevent
rytoarguewithher
.I
knewIwasn'
tgoingt
owinsoIletitgo.
Ther
ewassi
l
enceforsomet
imebef
oreI
deci
dedt
obr
eakit
.
Me:
Mamawhatr
eal
l
yhappenedt
hatday
?

Iremembercomi ngbackhomef rom school t

o
fi
ndmyt wograndf ather sandmygr andmai n
theli
v ingroom.WhenIgoti n,theywer eall
happyt oseemeandIr anintomygr an'
shands.
Theywer ehavingt eaandbi scuits.Shet ook
onebi scuitfr
om t hepl ateandgav eittome.
Aftert hatsheinstructedmymom t ogogetme
acup.Shecamebackwi thmyy ellowpl ast
ic
cupt hatsheal way susedt omaket eaforme.
Mygr ancooledt heteadownbyst i
rri
ngi tf
ora
whilebef orehandi ngitt ome.Iwasst il
lonher
l
ap.Theycont inuedl aughingandhav i
ng
meani ngl essconv er sationswhi leIhadmyt ea.
Mygr andf at herl ookedatherandaskedheri f
shedoesn' tt hinkit '
st her i
ghtt i
met hatIknow
thet r
ut h.That '
swheni twasr evealedt ome
thatmybi ologi cal mot herdi edwhi l
egi vi
ngbi r
th
tome.Iwasnothur tbyt hisinformat i
on.Iwas
actuallyv er yi ndiffer entabouti t
.I'vebeen
wai ti
ngf ort hedaywher eIact uall
ybr eakdown
andcr yasIgr owbuti tnev erarrives.Theywer e
allsear chingf orar eact i
ononmyf acebutI
thi
nkInev ergav et hem whatt heywer elooki ng
for.Theyt ookoutanol dphot oalbum wi t
hmy
mom andhersi ster .Orshoul dIsaymymot her
andhersi ster ?Theyl ookl i
kephot ocopi esof
oneanot her .Icoul dn' tdi sti
nguishwhi chone
waswhi ch.I 'venev erf eltlikeanor phan.I've
nev erfelti ncompl et e.Idon' tknowwhati tfeels
l
iket ohav ear el
at i
onshi pwi t
ht hemot herwho
gav ebi rt
ht omebutwhatIhav ewi ththis
womanacr osst het abl ef eelsri
ghtandenough.
Mymom exhal edbef oreshefinal
lyattempted
tospeak.Thewai t
erar r
ivedwithourjuiceand
assur
edust hatouror derwil
lbereadysoon.
Webot hfi
xedthegl assesonthebr ownmat
coast
ersont hetable.Shehadasmal lsip.
Her:Bomal omenebatli
l
egompot sagor
e(The
uncl
escamet oi
nfor
m methat..
.)the
negoti
ati
onswentwellandtheyalsocame
becausetheywantedtoseeyou.
Me:Whydi
dyouagr
eemama?Whydidyou
agr
eetomebei
ngsol
dli
keal
oafofbr
ead?
Her:
Iti
snott
hatsi
mpl
eFi
l
we.I
t'
scompl
i
cat
ed
baby
Me:
Uncompl
i
cat
eitt
hen.
Sheexhal
edandt
ookmyhandsi
ntoher
s
Her:
Wheny ouwereborn,
ther
ewerealotof
compli
cat
ionswi
thyourchest
.Somet
imes
you'dwakeupwi thar ashal loveritandaf ever.
Onot herday sy ou'dj ustst artbreat hingheav ily
andabnor mal l
youtofnowher e.Andy ou
wheezedal ot.Youal sohadr andom sei zures.
Especi all
yaf t
eri trains.Doct orskeptsay i
ng
yourcasei suni quebutt heyhi ghlysuspect
bronchi oli
ti
s.Unt ilonedaykokoReut lwile
suggest edwet akey out oat r
aditi
onal healer.I
washi ghl yagai nstt hisbutIdi dnotwantt o
l
osey ouei t
her .Youknowv erywel lthatI '
mt he
onlyChr i
sti
anathomesoev eni fIdisput ed,I
didnothav eenoughbackupt ohel pmewi n
thatar gument .Theyt ooky out her eandIst ayed
behind.Whent heycameback, t
heyt oldmet hat
youwer ebor nt obemar ri
edi ntoar oyalfami l
y
andt haty ouandy ourhusbandwi llmeetwhen
thetimei sri
ghtbutshoul di thappent hatthei n-
l
awscomet opayy ourbr i
depr icebef orethen,
weasaf ami l
yshoul dn' targue.
Ourorderarr
ivedandIj
uststaredatt
hefood
butmymi ndwasnotont hem.Ididnotknow
whethertodi
gestthi
sasabl essi
ngoracurse.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t29.

Mymi ndcont
inuedponderi
ngatwhatmymom
hadjustt
oldmewhileIkeptmyeyesonthe
food.
Her
:Fi
l
we!
!
Herimpat
iencegavethefactt
hatshewasn'
t
cal
li
ngmef orthef
ir
stti
meaway .
Me:
Ma?
Shewasaboutt
ospeakwhenIi
nter
rupt
edher
.
Me:Mai
fyouknewthatIwasalr
eadymarr
ied
whywer
eyoucel
ebr
atingthedayIt
oldy
out hat
t
her
e'ssomebodywhowant
smet
omar
ryhi
m?
Sheinhal
edandtookherhandof
fthepl
ate
becauseshewasalr
eadyeati
ng.
Her:
Myfirsti
nst
inctandt
houghtwast
haty
ou
hadfi
nal
l
ymethi m.
Me:
Andi
fitwasn'
thi
m?
Her:
Hewoul
dn'
thav
ebeenal
l
owedt
omar
ry
you.
"
Allowed?"Wow.Scr ewwhatIwantandhowI
f
eel?Theirl
uckisthatIalreadylov
eMuzikay
ise.
I
fitwasn'tf
orthat,
allexecutiv
esecti
onsofhell
weregoingtobreakloose.

Sheaskedmetoeatbecausemyf oodwas
goi
ngtogetcol
dandthickenup.Mogududoes
nothavet
hedesi
redpati
enceforsloweat
ers.
Ibeganeati
ngupinsil
ence.Icoul
dfeel
her
eyesspeedi
lydanci
ngbetweenmeandher
plate.Shehadsomet hi
ngonhermi
nd.Idi
dn't
mi ndthisbecauseIknewIwasgoi
ngtoheari
t
eventually
.Thisismymother
.Andmymot her
cannotkeepqui et.

Af
teragoodandr
ipe3mi
nut
es.
..
Her
:Howdoy
ouf
eel
?Aboutal
loft
his?
Me:Doyoueverasky
ourAvonpr
oduct
show
t
heyfeel
aft
eryousel
lthem?
Her
: Fi
l
we!!Kesal
emmago!
(I
'm st
il
lyour
mother!
)
Ididn'
trai
semyey eswhenIsai dt hi
s.I
regret
tediti
nstantl
y.Thet hi
ngaboutmei sthat
mymout handthechar acterI'
dlovetouphol
d
areneverinunison.Idon'twantt obethe
personthatItr
ysohar dt ohideandconceal.
Butsheal waysfi
ndsawayt ocomeoutandput
onashow.Iexhal ed.
Me:
Int
shwar
elemama(
For
giv
ememot
her
)
Me:Ij
ust
..i
t'
snott
hatIdon'
twanthi
m.Ido.I
j
u..
Sheinter
ject
edbef
oreIcoul
dpr
oceedwi
thmy
speech.
Her
:Bot
hat
akeeng!
?(Thenwhat
'st
hepr
obl
em)
She'
sstil
lpi
ssed.I
'm gonnaneedaf i
re
ext
ingui
sherfort
hisone.Youdon'tdi
srespect
mymot herandgetawaywi t
hit.
Me: Kgopel
aontshwar
eleforgobolel
aokar
rke
fologagodi
mogamohl are.
(Forgi
vemefor
speakingasthoughI
'mtumblingdownfr
om a
tree).
Shedroppedherchest,
exhal
edt
hroughher
noseandconti
nuedeati
ng?
Me:
I'
ll
buyy
oubi
scui
ts.
Shel
aughed.
Her
:You'
remaki
ngt
hisempt
ypr
omi
sef
ort
he
t
hir
dti
menow.

Wegotdoneeat ingandt hewai terbroughtf

orth
abowl ofwar m wat erandhandwash.We
washedourhandsandwi pedthem.Hewent
awayandcamebackwi ththebi ll
.Iwantedto
settl
eitbutmymom st oppedmeandsai di
t
washert reatandthatshe' l
lpay .Thi
sis
certai
nlyt
hel astti
mesomet hingl i
kethi
s
happenssoI '
m goi
ngt oal l
owi tto.Whoam Ito
standinbet weenGod' splansandhi s
skhothaneofachi ld?

Wewal kedoutoft
her est
aurantaft
ershewas
donepay i
ngthebi
l
l.Sheaccompani edmeto
thetaxir
ankandIlef
t.Iwenttothehospit
al
becauseIhadpromised'hubby't
hatI'
l
lcomeby
toseehim.WhenIgott ohisroom,hewas
pl
ayinganimalrescueonhi
sphone.It hi
nki
t'
s
aboutti
meIbecameanof f
ici
alsocial
media
i
nfl
uencer.I
'm evi
dentl
ygoodatthis.

Helookedbet t
erthanhedi dyester
day.There
wasmor elifeandlightinhiseyes.Hesmi l
ed
whenIwal kedin.Icontinuedwalkingtowards
hi
sbed, gotthereandhuggedhi m.Ipull
edthe
chai
randsatnextt ohi m.Het ookmyhandi nt
o
hi
s.
Hi
m:Youokay
?
Me:
Ngi
rightMbul
azi
.Unj
an?
Thesmi
l
eonhi
sfacegr
ewwi
der
.
Hi
m:Hay
i.Ngi
yaphi
l
a.
Me:
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?Ar
eyoucomf
ort
abl
e?
Her
oll
edhi
sey
esandwel
aughed.
Hi
m: You'
rebegi
nni
ngtosoundalotl
i
keyour
motheri
nlaw.Shewashereonsome"Letme
fi
xyourpil
l
ows.Areyoueatingwell
?Ineedto
seethemenuofthishospi
tal.I
tneedst
omeet
theri
ghtdi
etar
yrequi
rementsforapati
entl
i
ke
yoursel
f"
Hesaid,
mi micki
ngherBr
it
ishaccent
.Ibur
st
outl
aughing.He'
ssuchanidi
ot.

Thelaughterweshar edslowlyfadedi
ntotheai
r.
Ifoundthi
sasanoppor tuni
tytoconducta
questi
onnaire.Ideserv
eanswer s.
Me:
Baby
?
Hi
m:Yeswi
fe.
Il
aughed.
Me:Wereyouf
oll
owi
ngme?Thatdaywemet
?
I
ntheshop.
Hi
m:HambaVVI
P.Me?Fol
l
owy
ou?
Ilaughedoutl
oudandaskedhi
mtobeser
ious
forasecond.
Hi
m: Nosthandwasam.Isawy ouandmyheart
i
mmediatelyknewIjusthadtohaveyou.I
f
oll
owedy ouAROUNDt heshop,
notpri
orto
t
hat.
Me:
Howdi
dyouknow?
Hi
m:Knowwhat
?
Me:
ThatI
'
m..
.theone?
Hi
m: Idi
dn'
t.Myhear
tdi
d.Amanj
ustknows
whenhehasfoundhi
sri
b.
Thi
smel
tedmyhear
tabi
t.

Me:Howwer ey ouabletomar r
yhertheni
fyou
knewyouwer ealr
eadymar ri
ed?Thismeans
youwantedthisall
along.Thi
st hi
ngofhavi
ng
mult
ipl
ewives.
Heclenchedhist
eethashetr
iedtositupri
ght.I
qui
cklystoodupfr
om mychairi
nur gencyto
hel
phim sohedoesn'thur
thi
mself.Her ai
sed
hi
shandandsai
dhe'
sfi
ne.Ihel
pedhi
m up
ei
therway
.

Whenhewasf
inal
l
ysnugandcomf
y,hebegan
speaki
ng.
Him: Babyl ook,thisi
snotassi mpleasi tl
ooks.
Wheny ourlobolawaspai d,Ihadnoi deaI'
m
getti
ngmar ri
ed.Iwaspr obablyoncampus
doinganassi gnmentorget ti
ngupt onogood
butIcanassur ey ou,
Ialsohadnoi dea.WhenI
mar r
iedMabuy i,
Iwas29.Thef amilydidnot
sayany thi
ngaboutmehav ingawi f
e.Theonly
ti
meIf oundoutwast hedaybef or
eour
weddi ng.Whi chIwouldn'thaveifIdidnothave
aseizur e.

Hisf
amilyi
sfuckedup.Mineaswel
l.Howdo
youkeepsuchasecretf
rom t
heoneperson
who'
ssupposedtoknowaboutit
?
Me:
Sowhydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mef
rom t
hest
art
?
Him:You'reverystubbor
n.Fi
esty
.Ipickedupa
l
otofbel l
iger
encef r
om ourv
eryfi
rstdial
ogue.
Youdidn'tstr
ikemeast hewomanwhowoul d
takeallofthi
slyi
ngdown.AndIdi dn'
twantto
l
osey ou.So..
.
Me:Soy
ouwat
chedmef
all
fory
oui
nor
dert
o
t
rapme?
Hi
m:Doest
hisf
eel
li
keat
rap?
Heknowst heanswert othis.Iwouldn'
tbe
anywhereel se.Myheartiscont ent
.Myonl y
problem i
shav ingtosharehim wi t
hawoman
heclearl
ylov es.I
fhedidn'tfeelanythi
ngforher
may beitwoul dbemor etolerablet
hant hi
s.

Me:We'vedealtwit
hallsecr
etsandhidden
agendasri
ght
?Youdon' thaveanyki
ds,side
chi
cksoranythingoft
hatsort.Ri
ght
?
Hel
aughedsof
tl
y.
Him:Si
dechi
cks?No.Ki
ds?Asf
arasIknow,
nope.
Asf
arasheknows?
Me:Howcomey ouandMabuyi
spental
lthese
year
stoget
herandy
oudon'
thaveachil
d?

Hi
sfacehar
dened.
Hi
m:Thi
scoul
d'
vebeenoursecondchi
l
d.
Me:
Oh?
Heexhal
edandbi
thi
slowerl
i
p.
Him:
Yeah.Mbusohad.
.Hi
s..
.Ar
g.Shel
osther
.
Shel
ostt
hebaby.
Shameman.I
tsoundsl
i
ket
hey
'vebeent
hrough
alot
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ryt
oheart
hat
.
Hedr
oppedhi
sey
esandsai
d"Suchi
sli
fe"
.
*
***
3weeksl
ater
***
Muzi wastakenbackt oKZNasat herapeutic
retreatmeasure.Wecommuni catedal otvia
videocal l
sandt extmessages.We' vegr ownt o
knowal otabouteachot her '
sv i
cesandev ery
otherhabi t
.Wor kwasfineexceptf oral ways
hav ingMasedi i
nmypr esenceal lthedamn
ti
me.Thi sgi
rlhasahabi tofdanci ngt ogcom
ont opofmymostsensi t
ivener ves.Kgant sho
andImanagedt osecuret hebagwi th2bi g
ev ents.Now,we'rehopingt oconv incet he
may ortoall
owust oplanhi sdaught er's
birthdaypartybutiti
sv i
rtuall
yi mpossi ble
get ti
nganappoi ntmentwi ththeman.

I
twasaFr i
dayandIhadpr omisedMuziandhi
s
mom thatIwi
ll
comef oraweekendv i
sit
.They
of
fer
edt opayf
ormyf l
ightbutIsai
dno.I'
ve
comet orealisethatt
hey'
recomfort
ablewi
th
mebei ngneedyanddependent .AndI'
m
uncomf ort
ablewi t
hthi
s.Ihaveafeel
ingt
hatal
l
ofthisissteeri
nginthedir
ecti
onofmehav i
ng
toletgoofmyj ob.

Ifi
nal
lyar
ri
vedinKZNar ound20h30andma
assur
edmet hatshesentsomebodyt ocome
fet
chme.Muzi hasbeenhealingqui
tewellf
rom
whatI'
veseenbuthe'
sstil
l"notal
lowedto
dri
ve"
.
Ist
oodatt heai r
portwaiti
ngt obepi ckedup.To
mysur pri
se,IsawMbusowal kingtowardsme
i
nabl acktracksuitwit
hgr eenst r
ipesonthe
si
desandwhi tesneakers.Isn'
thesupposedt o
havealreadyleftbynow?Ikeptmycool when
hearr
ived.I'
m st i
l
lnotcomf or
tablearoundhim.
Hi
m:Heyy
ou
Hesai
d,r
aisi
nghi
sar
mst
ocomehugandme,
l
eavingnoopport
unit
yformetodispute.His
hugearmswentundermineandmymi ne
hesi
tantl
ywentoverhi
smuscularshoulder
s.
Hiscolognehi
tmynostri
l
s.He'
salsocleanand
well
-gr
oomed.Justli
kebothhi
sbrothers.
Ibr
okethehugwhenIf
eltl
i
kehewasbegi
nni
ng
toover
stayhi
swel
comeinmyarms.

Hi
m:Howwasy
ourt
ri
p?
Me:
Justf
ine.Ti
ri
ng.
Hepul
ledupthehandl
efr
om mysmal
lnav
y
bl
uesuit
caseandwewenttowar
dshi
scar
.

Thesilencei
nthecarwasdeaf
eni
ng.Hefel
tit
toobecauseheglancedatmeandtur
nedon
theradio.
Hi
m:Youhungr
y?
Me:
I'
mfi
net
hanks.
Isai
dandfakedasmil
e.Hesaid"Al
rightthen"
andsmil
edback.Hehasabeauti
fulsmile.I
coul
dn'
thel
pbutnoti
cethi
s.Helooksal otli
ke
Manqoba.Asoft
enedver
sionofMQ'shar dcore
sel
f.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t30.

Whenwef inall
yarrivedatt heKhumal ohouse, I
wast hankfultothegodoft r
ipsthatitwasov er
.
Idon'
tknowi fI'
mr eadi ngtoomuchi nto
Mbuso' sdemeanorbutIhav east rangef eel
ing
abouthim.Hepar kedt hecarandImademy
wayout .Mawasout sidewat eri
ngherpl antsin
fr
ontoft hehouse.I sn'titali
ttl
elatef orherto
bedoi ngthis?Shecl appedherhandsi n
exci
tementandsai d" Lookwho' sher e".Ij
ust
smil
edandwentov ert ohugher .Shewas
wearingawhite,fr
ee-
fl
owingmaxi dressand
sl
ippers.Shealsohadawor noutbluedoek
carel
esslypl
acedandwr appedaroundherhead.
Mostofherhai rwasshowing.

Her
:Tr
avel
l
edwel
l
?
Me:
Yest
hanks.
Her
:Come.
Shesai
dandhel dmyhand.Wewalkedi
nand
i
mmediatelybumpedi
ntoMabuyi
.Shejammed
i
nhersteps.
Her
:Sawubona.
Me:
Hel
l
o.
Mbusowalkedi
nandwasinstr
uctedtotakemy
caset
omyr oom.Mabuy
istoodstil
lwhenit
wasobvi
ousshewassupposedtomakeway .
Mbusowasannoyedbythisj
udgi
ngfr
om how
hesai
d"Suk'
endl
eniMaDlami
ni"
.Shef
oldedher
ar
msandst
eppedaway.Mom l
ookbaffl
edby
ev
ery
thi
ngt
hatwashappeni
ngi
nfrontofher
.

Mabuyishakedherhead,
vexedbywhatj
ust
t
ranspi
red.
Ma:
DidImi
sssomet
hing?
Mabuy isai
dnoandwal kedtowardsme.She
touchedmyupperar m andsaid"Welcome
home" ,
warmi nherappr oach.Shethenwal
ked
outwithherwat erbott
le.Myf eel
i
ngshaveno
i
deahowt oreceivethi
s.

Evelynwasaboutt ospeakwhenoneoft he
helpsinthehousehur ri
edl
yapproachedusand
askedifshecanhav eawordwithher.Evely
n
askedmet ogi
v ethem amoment .Sheputher
handonherback, di
rect
inghert
owar dsthe
dini
ngr oom ar
ea.Isawt hi
sasanoppor tuni
ty
torunupt hestair
st ogoatt
endtot heone
reasonI'
m here.Iwassurehewasn'twith
Mabuy i
becauseIsawhergoi ngoutofthe
house.Thismadet hi
ngseasierf
orme.Ist i
l
l
havenotgottenthehangofhowt hingsare
supposedtowor kbetweenthethreeofus.

Igott ohi sroom andbar gedi n.Theexci t

ement
heldmymanner sandet i
quettehost age.My
tonguei mmedi atelygott iedwhenmyey es
l
andedonhi swetbar echest .Islowlybitmy
l
owerl ip, withzeroi ntention.Heseduct i
vely
smiledatmeandsof t
lysai d"Sawubona" .Ihad
bothmybackandhandsagai nsthisdoor .My
tonguewasst ill
notr eadyt oengagei nany
conv ersation.Hehadabl ackt owellower ed
aroundhi swai st,clearl
yput ti
nghi sili
accr est
onf ulldisplay.Hecont inueddabbi nghi schest
withanot hertowel .Ievent uall
yfoundt he
meanst osay" Hi".
Hepl acedt het owel ont hebedandbegan
walkingt owar dsme.Myhear tranamar athon.I
pursedmyl ipst ogethert oavoi
dblushingbutall
ofthatwasf uti
le.Itj
ustmadet hi
ngswor se.He
fi
nallyarriv
edandsl owlyheldmy
waist,smot heringhi swhol ebodyagainstmine.I
closedmyey esandl ookedaway .Hi
sey es
foll
owedmi ne.Icoul dfeelhiswarm skin
againstmi ne.Myt i
ghtdresswasn'tdoingme
anyjustice.Hef inall
yspoke.
Hi
m:Ma'
am.Ar
eyoual
ri
ght
?
Hesai d,mimi ckinghismot
her'
saccent.I
couldn'tholdbackt hemylaughterwhi
chmy
vocalcor dsinsistedondel
i
veri
ngi nbr
eaksand
pieces,givi
ngawaymyner vousness.

Heconti
nuedtopersi
stentl
ylockhi
sbur ni
ng,
gl
assyeyesi
ntomine.Iclosedmyey eswhen
hi
sli
psslowl
yapproachedme.Hesof t
ly
peckedmyl i
psandsubsequent lysuckedonmy
l
owerl ip.Ireturnedi t,sti
l
lfir
mlybackedagai nst
thedoor .Hi shandssmoot hl
ymov edtomybut t
.
Hecar essedandsqueezedbot hcheeksandI
giggledinhi smout h.Hesmi led.Hisri
ghthand
mov edt othedoorhandl eandt urnedthekey,
l
ockingi t.Hebeganki ssi
ngmyneckandpul l
ing
myl egsinanat temptt oli
ftmeup.Iaskedhi m
i
fhe'snoti npai n.Hesl owlyshakedhisheadas
l
iftedmel i
keaf eather.Iwrappedmyl egs
aroundwai stashepi nnedbot hmyhands
togetherabov emyheadwi thonehand, the
otherofmybr east.Iwant edthis.Iwantedhim.

Hewaslickingandsuckingonmyneckwhen
webothhear daknockont hedoor.Heputhi
s
f
oreheadagainstmine.Webot hpursedourl
i
ps
t
ostopour sel
vesfr
om laughing.
Ma:Iknowyou'
rebothi
nhere.Ineedyou
downstai
rsi
nexact
ly2minutes.ANDgood
peopl
e,
please,
donotbr
eakmyexpensi
vedoor
.
Shewalkedaway .Myf acewasf l
ushedwi t
h
embarrassmentandshame.Isl idmywaydown
outofMuzi '
sarmsandf ixedmydr ess.He
coul
dn'tstoplaughing.Ihithi
schestandt ol
d
hi
mi t'
snotfunny .Iatt
empt edtounlockthe
door.Heheldmywai standpulledmeback.

Hi
m:Uy
aphi
?
Me:Myr
oom.Yourmom j
ustcaughtusabout
t
o..
Hi
m:Aboutt
owhat
?
Hewasst
il
ll
aughi
ng.
Me:
Mci
i
m.
Him:Baby.YouandIar
epract
ical
l
ymar
ri
ed.I
don'
tgetwhatthebi
gdeal
ishere.
Me:
Sti
l
l.
Het r
iedtokissmeandIsai dno.Her aisedhis
handsi nsurr
enderandIt oldhimt ogetdressed.
Iwalkedawayf rom him andhesl appedmyass
andgav emeapr ovocat
ivesmi l
e.Ithinnedmy
eyes,laughedandkeptwal king.Hetried
chasingaftermebutIqui cklygotout.He
thr
eatenedandsai d"Thisisnotov er.
"

Igott
omyr
oom andchangedmypant
yli
ner
Iputonmycoat ,tookof fmysneaker sandsl id
i
ntomysl ippers.Theweat herwasn't
cooperating.Iwal keddownst airsandf ound
everyoneseat edar oundt hetable,i
ncluding
ChiefKhumal o.Itimidlygreetedeveryoneand
theygreetedback.Mabuy itappedthechai rnext
toherasani ndicationthatIshouldcomesi t
nexttoher .She'sv erywelcomi ngtoday .Idon't
knowi fi
t'sherhor monesorhert r
ue,genui ne
selft
hat'sconf usingt heshitoutofme.It ook
myseat .Manqobawasnowher etobef ound
ar
oundt
het
abl
e.Ij
ustf
igur
edhewasn'
ther
e.

Therewassilenceaswewai t
edforMuzi to
comecompl etethi
sbandar oundthet able.He
camedowni nhi sblackri
ppedjeans,black
short
-sl
eevedt-shi
rtandmar oonsneaker s.He
l
ookedl i
kehewasgoi ngsomewher e.Het ook
hisseatonthetablenexttohismom and
Mbuso, whohadal sochangedhisout f
it.
Ev
ely
n:Goi
ngsomewher
e?
Hi
m:Hay
ima
Her
:Okayokay
.

Chi
ef:
Makot
i.Wel
comehome.
Ismi
l
edandt
hankedhi
m.
Chief
:Nowthatever
ybodyi
sher
e.Let
'sgett
his
overanddonewit
h.
Hesaidthi
swit
hhi
shandtangl
edi
nhi
swi
fe'
s.
Shenoddedandgl
uedherey
estot
het
abl
e.
Chi
ef:Ther
eisnoeasywayt
osayt
his
Madlamini
..
.
Mabuy
ifr
ownedi
nconf
usi
on.
Chi
ef:
Thi
sisr
egar
dingPhakamani
'
sfi
rstwi
fe.
Mbusochokedonhisj
uiceandcoughed,
bl
ockinghi
smouthwit
hhiselbow,wit
hhis
phoneinhi
shand.
Mabuy
i:Ngenzeni
baba?
(Whathav
eIdone?
)
Chi
ef:
Nono.Youhavedonenothi
ngwrong.
WhatImeant
osayisthat
,you'
renot.
.
Heclenchedhisteet
handexhal
ed.Muzil
ooked
l
ikehewaspr ayi
ngforeart
htoopenupsoit
canswallowhim whole.
Muzi
:Baby
?
Mabuy
i:What
'sgoi
ngon?
Evel
yn:
Mydarl
ing,y
ou'
react
ual
l
ynot
..
.You'
re
nott
hefir
stwi
fe.
Mabuy
i:Idon'
tunder
stand.
Muzi
:Samkethe.Betsogotmarri
edbef
oreyou
bymyfamil
ywhenwewer esti
ll
invar
sit
y.Ial
so
di
dn'
tknowany t
hingabouti
t.
Mabuy
i:I
sthi
ssomeki
ndofaj
oke?
Shelaughedsar
cast
ical
l
ybef
orest
art
ingt
otear
up.
Mbuso:
Unf
ort
unat
elynot
.
HestoodupandtoldMuzit
hatt
heyhavetoget
goi
ng.Muzishar
plysai
d"Awumekancane
baf
o!"
(Canyoustop?)
Chi
ef:
Mbuso,
hlal
aphansi
.(Si
tdown)
Hebri
eflyl
ookedasi
deinannoy
anceandpull
ed
hi
schairbackanddr
oppedhiswei
ghtonit
.
Thi
sisnothowIimaginedmyweekend.
UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t31.

Thet ensi
onar oundt histablewassothickone
could'vebeenabl etosliceitwit
haknife.The
sil
enceaswel l
.Myey eswer ecur
iousbutIkept
them onat ightleashandgl uedthem onthe
tabl
et op.Maf inal
lyspoke.

Her:Mabuy i
,mychild.Iknowt hi
scannotbe
easyf oryou.Butit
'snotat r
ainsmash.These
arejustti
tles.Theydon'tdefi
nethetypeof
rel
ationshipyouhav ewithyourhusband.Ify
ou
andSphakami leworktogethertost
rengthen
yourhusband' shouseholdthenIdon'tseehow
thi
scannotwor k.

Thi
swomani
sal
way
sadv
ocat
ingf
orherson.
I'
m st arti
ngt owonderi ft hisisnotgoi ngto
poseanypr oblemsf ormei nmymar ri
agei n
future.Shesoundsl i
ket het ypeofwomanwho
woul d,ami dstallyourt ears,hear t
breakand
headaches, telly
out hatev erymancheat s
shoul dMuzi kay i
sehav ewander i
ngey es.The
typeofwomanwhobel ievest hatmosadi o
swar at hi
pakabogal eng( Awomanshoul d
steadi l
yholdont otheshar penededgeoft he
knife).Heav enlyfather,Ihopet hatyouhearmy
prayer sbecauseshal lYounot ,thebanditbyt he
nameofMuzi kayi
seKhumal oshal larr
iveand
dropony ourdoor stepbef orehisr ecordedtime.

Mabuy ikeptt r
yingtowi pehertearsbutitwas
asifshewassummoni ngmor eoft hem byt
his
doingthis.Ididn'tknowwhet hertohold,
consoleorl eaveheralone.Ididn'tevenknowif
I'
m all
owedt ospeak.But .
..
Ihel
dhershoul
der
.Shenev
erpr
otest
ed.I
wantedt ospeakbutIendedupclosingmydry
mout hinst
ead.Iendedupjustsayi
ng"I'
m
sorry.
..
"inalowtone.Shecri
edharder.Ma
stoodupf r
om herseattocomeandcomf or
t
her.Shelookedheartbr
okenonherbehalf.

Shecameandbr ushedherback.Mabuy iwas

try
ingtoohardt ospeakbuthert earscouldn'
t
all
owi t
.Il
ookedatMuzi wonder i
ngwhyhe' s
j
ustsitt
ingthere.Hel ookedatmebackwi th
eyesthatsaid"Ther e'
snothingIcando" .Ma
suggestedthatwehel pherup.Idi dasIwas
tol
dandwet ookhert oherr oom.Wet ucked
herinhersheets.Aswewer ebot haboutto
l
eav e,
shesaid" Pleasestay"directi
ngthisto
me.Ilookedatmai nconf usionandshedi dthe
same.Shenoddedandwentout ,sl
owlyclosi
ng
thedoorbehindher .
Igotintothesheetswithcautionandl ooked
ahead.Shehadapor tr
aitofMuzi andher selfi
n
herroom.Hewasl if
ti
ngherupi ntot heair,bot
h
l
ookingliketheywerelaughinghy steri
call
y,
happy.Itookaf ewplysfrom hertissueboxon
thebedsidetableandgav ethem toher .She
tookthem.I'm sti
l
lwonder i
ngwhatI '
m doingin
bedwi t
hawomanwhohat esmygutatnoon
butofferstodomyhai ratnightti
me.Shef inal
l
y
gotagr i
ponhercal m andmanagedt ospeak.

Her:
Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
met
hatni
ght
?Theni
ght
youwer
eher
e?
Me:
Ial
sodi
dn'
tknow.

Si
l
ence.
..

Me:
Look,
mawasr
ight
.Thesear
ejustt
it
les.
Theydon' tmeanany t
hing.Eachoneofuswi ll
belivi
ngi ntheirownhouse.Youmaket he
decisionsofy ourownhousehol dandIdot he
same.Shoul dasi tuat
ionarisewhereweneed
toconsultwi t
honeanot her
,weputourheads
togetherandmaket hisworkbecauseI '
m not
goingany wher eandyou'reclear
lynotei
therso..
.

Welockedey
es.Unt
ilwebot
hexhal
edand
l
ookedaway.

Me:I
'm nother
et of
ightwit
hortakeany thi
ng
awayfr
om youGugulethu.I
'
m allforpeace.But
i
fyouwanttofightt
henIwon'tstopy oueit
her.

Shel
aughed.Ismi
l
ed.

Me:
All
thi
sst
ressi
snotgoodf
ory
ourbaby
.
Youmi ghtbeexpectingtheopposi tebutIcare
abouthim becauseMuzi does.Idon'thavet
he
strengt
ht ocomforthim shouldany t
hing
happent ohisbaby.Thisentir
esituationhas
drainedallt
heli
feoutofme.Idon' tneed
any moredrama.

Shebi therupperl i
pandsai d"Fairenough".She
thenpol i
tel
yaskedmet otakeoutherpy jamas
from herwal k-
incloset.Igotinandacr azy
thoughtofherwant ingtolockmei nher e
i
mmedi atelyti
ptoedi nt
omymi nd.Ibrushedit
offandt oldherIdon' tseethem whereshesai d
shehadputt hem.Icoul dhearherget ti
ngout
ofbed.Somanyshoest hough!Thisclosetis
enought ohostahi ghclassrun-wayshow.

Shegoti
nandfoundt
hem someplaceel
se.
Sheapol
ogi
zedandsai
deversi
nceshegot
pregnantshe'
sbeenver
yforget
ful
andher
memor yisqui
tesli
pper
y.Iwasthi
nki
ngabout
thi
sclosetandmymout hrat
tedonmeonce
again.

Me:
Whydoy
ouneedsomanycl
othes?
Shelaughedandsai d"Mnaks, t
rustme, wi
tha
husbandlikeour
sy ou'r
egonnaendupl i
kethi
s
alsobecauseyou'
renev ergonnaknowwhatt o
dowiththemoney .I'
m aloverofallt
hings
fashi
on.Expensi
vef ashi
on.Andbesides,
every
bodyknowst hatshoppingiseverygir
l'
s
bestf
ri
end."
Thi
smustmeant
hatIam amant
hen.

Gugulookedawhol el
otbetteraf
terour
conver
sati
on.Notthatitwouldst
ingme
anywhere,
butI'
m hopingthatshewakesupin
thesamecalm spi
ri
tsnextmor ni
ng.Theti
me
wasnow23h40andmyey eswer enothavingit
anymor e.Shegotdr essedinherpyjamasandI
mademywayoutt omyr oom.Thehousewas
deadqui et.ImissedYi se.SoIwentt ohisroom
andsubt lyknocked.Noanswer .Isl
owl yopened
thedoorandt heli
ght swereof f
.Hisbedwas
empt y
.Wher ethehel li
sthisman?Idi dn'
tknow
howt of eelaboutthissoIwentt omyr oom and
tookahotshower .It hengotintosl
eepershor t
s,
tanktopandgotundert hethi
ckt hr
owt hatwas
placedonmybed.I twasnother ewhenIf irst
walkedi nheresoIf iguredthi
swasal l ma'
s
doing.

Iwasbat t
li
ngwithdeci di
ngwhethert
ocall
him
ornot.Ideci
dedagai nsti
tandslept
.Iwas
thankf
ulfortheblanketbecauseIhadnot
broughtwarm pyj
amaswi thmeanditwasquite
warm.Iwashal fasleepbecauseImanagedt o
hearmyphonebeep, aler
ti
ngofamessaget hat
j
ustcamet
hrough.I
twasanunknownnumber
.

"Ican'tsl
eepher esoI'
veleft.I
'
ml et
ti
ngyou
knowbecauseIdon' twantyout owakeup
thinkingIlef
tbecauseofy ou.Andthanksfor
thet alkl
astnight
.Thismightactual
lywork.

-
Yourmnaks"

Ismiled.Idi dnotexpectanyofthis.Atall
.
Especiallyafterherbreakdownatthetablelast
night.Ihav eagoodf eeli
ngabouthersoI '
mj ust
goingt oridewi thi
tuntil
shescrewsitup
herself.Icheckedt heti
meandi twas02h02.I
wasaboutt osl eepwhensomebodywal kedin.I
should'velockedmydoor .Whatifi
t'
snothim?

Theper
sonappr
oachedmybedandI
i
mmedi atelyknewwhoi twas,j
udgingfr
om his
verypotentcologne.Hetookoffhi
sshoesand
gotunderthesheet s,
huggingmefrom behi
nd.
Hishandsar ecoldandhehasasl i
ghtsmellof
alcohol
.Iturnedtolookathim.
Me:
Arey
oudr
unk?
Hi
m:Idon'
tknow.
Thehel
l
?
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeany
oudon'
tknow?
Him:Mydrunkandyourdr
unkmi
ghtnotbet
he
same.So,
defi
nedrunk.
Il
aughed.I
'
m speechl
ess.
Hebeganki ssi
ngmyshoul der,
att
empt ingt o
takeoffmypy j
amatop.Ithoughthesai dhe's
neverhavi
ngsexwi t
honewi fewher east he
otheri
sintheotherroom.Ordoest hatonl y
applyt
ome?IknowGugusai dsheleftbutI
needtosayt hi
stomakesur e.I
'm notev ensure
heknowst hatshe'
snothere.Iheldhi
shands
sti
l
l,t
urnedmyf acetowar
dshi m andsai
d
"MaDlamini
"
Hekissedmylips,
gotontopofmeandsai
d
"she'
snother
e"inawhisper
.Hetookof
fmytop
and(Removed)

Afterregaininghi sstr
ength,heslowl yki ssed
meonmyl ipsandaskedmehowI 'mf eel i
ng.I
smi l
edandt oldhimI '
mf i
ne.I'
mf i
neev en
thoughmyv aginaisonfire.Ididn'ttel
l himt his
though.Hegotup, wentintothebat handcame
backwi that owel andwipedmecl ean.Iputon
myunder wearashewi pedhi mselft oo.Het hen
threwitont hef loorandhuggedmet osl eep.
I'
m gladthisst ageofmyl i
feisov er.Theonl y
thi
ngI '
m notl ookingforwardt oisTumi
screamingi nmyear .
Muzi wasf astasleepwhenIwokeupar ound5
i
nt hemor ning.Ihadsl i
ghtpainsonmyl ower
abdomen.Imaneuv eredmywayoutofhi s
hands, gotupf rom thebedandmademyway
tot hebathr oom becausemybl adderwasf ull
andt herefor ei
mpat i
ent.Igott hereandt r
iedto
pee.Itstung.Badl y.ButIgoti tdone.Sl owl ybut
event ual
ly.Myey esdr oppedt omyunder wear
andInot icedbl ood.Lotsofi t
.Kgant shosai dI
mi ghtbleedonmyf ir
sttimebutt hi
sisnott he
kindofbl oodshedescr ibed.Dammi t.I
'
m onmy
per i
od.Great !

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t32.

Iimmediatel
ywentintomyroom, f
etchedmy
toi
let
rybagandt ookashower.Ial
wayshave
padsinthereforrai
nyday
sbecausemyper i
ods
areunrel
iabl
eandf ul
lofalotofbackstabbing.
They'
rethatfri
endyourmom doesn'tli
keand
keepswar ni
ngy ouabout
.Thefri
endwi ththe
badhabits.Thejeal
ousfr
iend.

Aft
erIwasdone, Muziwasupandonhisphone.
HesmiledatmeasIbi dhi
m goodmorni
ng.He
wasbuttoninghisj
eanupbuthewastopl
ess.I
wasinat owel.Hecametohugmefrom behi
nd
andki
ssmyneck.
Hi
m:Ur
ight
?(Youokay
?)
Me:
I'
ll
sur
viv
e
IsugarcoatedandwhitewashedhowIwas
real
lyfeeli
ng.Per
iodpainshadmebyt heneck
andmyv aginawassti
l
l onfi
re.Thet
imewas
exactl
y05h41.

Hi
m:Shoul
dIgety
ouany
thi
ng?Neur
ofen?
Al
eve?Pads?Chocol
ate?
Ilaughed.Howdoesheknowal lofthesethi
ngs?
Andi magineanenti
reZulumanbuy i
ngwhole
pads.ImagineitonmybehalfbecauseI'
m
unabletocan.Heknewt hatIwaslaughi
ngat
thisandhelaughedtoo.
Him: Hawu.Yini?Ifuyawadingaamapad
ngizoyaminangi y
owat henga.(
Ifyouneedpads
thenI'
llgobuythem) .Yallgothroughahel
luva
l
ot.Thisistheleastwecandoasmen.The
baremi ni
mum act ual
ly.
Ifoundthi
ssweet .I
'v
ehear dstor
iesaboutt
hem,
tookthem seri
ousandnowhe' spr ov
ingme
wrong.Iassuredhimt hatIhaveenoughpads
butIthi
nkI'm gonnaneedt hepai
nkil
ler
sduring
theday.Buthowdi dheknowI 'm onmyperiods?
Iasked.
Hi
m:Thesheet
s.
Icl
osedmyey
esi
nembar
rassment
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.
Hequi
cklyhel
dmyshoul
dersandl
ookedmei
n
t
heeye.Somuchsi
nceri
ty!
Him:Whatfor
?You'vedonenot hi
ngwrong.I'
l
l
askoneoftheladi
esthathelpuswithl
aundry
towashthem andI'
l
lpersonall
ychangethe
sheet
smyself.
Me:Ican'
texpectsomebodyelset
owashmy
bl
oodthat'
sthemostseverecaseofr
ude.I
'
lldo
i
t.
Hegotmypoi ntbutof f
eredt owashthem
hi
mself.Isai
dno.I fthere'sanybodyinthi
s
housesuspect i
ngmeofgi vinghim alove
port
ionthenthatwilljustputahuge,redand
capi
tal
izedstamponi t.

MuziwentoutandIsawt hi
sasanopportuni
ty
t
oquickl
ygetdressed.Iwantedtowear
l
eggi
ngsandanov ersi
zedt-shi
rtf
orcomfort
butIwasn' tcertainthattheenv ir
onmentIwas
i
nal lowedf orthat.SoIopt edf oralongsleeve
blackt -shir
t,ti
ght sandanav yblue,ti
ghtdenim
skirtont op.Iputonmysweetpi nk'half
'socks
andsl i
dintomybl ueslippers.Theycov erhalf
ofmyf ootsot hey '
vequit
ewar m.Hecame
backandsai dthecoasti sclearbecause
every bodywasdownst airs.Hecar ri
edont o
statehowhedoesn' tunderstandt he
embar rassi
ngpar taboutnat uretaki
ngit'
s
cour se.Iwasi nnomoodt oarguesoIj ustkept
quiet.Heexhal edi ndefeatandhel pedme
remov etheduv etwewer esl eepingonandt he
throw.

Hegui dedmetot helaundryr

oom.Iwasgl ad
afterweweredonet hatthestai
nswer enot
stubbornandpersist
ent.IhavenoideawhatI
woul d'
vedonewithmy sel
f.Theworstwasov er
now.Butwer el
eftwiththeproblem ofhangi
ng
them.Muzisuggestedwet umbledrybutI
l
aughedandsai dtheywon'tf
iti
nthere.He
l
aughedaswel landsaid"I
twaswor thatry"
.He
thenhadalightbulbmomentandsai dwecould
usetheexi
tintheTVr oom.Mom wal kedinas
wewer est
il
l br
ainstor
mingandIfroze.Muzi
l
ookedchil
ledandwai tedf
orhertospeak.

Ma:
Goodmor
ning.
Hesai
dasherey
esdancedt
oandf
robet
ween
t
hetwoofus.
Us:
Mor
ning.
Shel
ookedatusandsmi
l
edwi
thsuspi
cion.
Her:Whatmi schi
efhasMuzi kayi
ser ecr
uit
ed
youtodoSphakami le?Muzi andIlaughed.I
waslaughingtoconcealtheembar rassment.
Hereyesthenf el
li
ntothelaundrybasketthat
wasfullofherbeddingonthef l
oor.Sheshaked
herheadandaskedMuzi toexcuseus.Muzi
turnedtomeandsaid"Scr
eam ifshetr
iesto
strangl
eyou"
.Il
aughed.Mat ri
edtohi
this
naughtyheadbutheranoutlaughi
ngand
reporti
ngt
hathe'
sgoingtotakeabath.

Sheheldmyhandandwesl
owl
ywal
kedout
,
headi
ngtomyroom.
Her
:Youdoknowt
hatt
hisi
syourhomet
oo.
Ri
ght?
Inodded.
Her
:Andt
hatI
'
m al
soy
ourmot
her
.Ri
ght
?
Ismiledandnoddedathowshepunct uat
esher
sentenceswit
h"Right
?"t
opersuadehowI
ult
imatelyr
espondtoherquest
ions.
Wewal kedintomyr oom andsheclosedthe
door.Shewentintotheclosetandcameout
wit
hadi ff
erentsetofbedding.Sheundi
dt he
wholebedandIhel pedherassemblethefresh
one.Wet hensatont
hebedandsheheldmy
hand.Thewor dswer
eonhert hr
oat
.She
wantedtosaysomethingbutshewas
str
uggli
ng.

Ma:Mydarl
i
ng,
doy
oumay
be.
..
hav
eapr
obl
em
downt
here?
Me:
Downwher
e?
Ma:
Imean.
.noct
urnal
..
.enur
esi
s?
Suchbi
gter
ms
Me:
Idon'
tunder
stand.
Iwashonest
lyl
ost
.Sheswal
l
owedand
breat
hedout
.
Her
:Ni
ght
..ni
ght
ti
mei
ncont
inence?
Lordsavemef r
om thi
sSouthAfri
canBr i
ti
sh
woman.IthoughtIwasgoodwi t
hEnglishbut
thi
swomanmakesmef eel
li
keI'
veonly
att
ended3classesofthequeen'
slanguage
eversi
nceIwasbor
n.Iwasconfusedandmy
facecoul
dnotf
indpossi
bleway
st ohi
deit
.
Her
:DearGodhowdoIsayt
his?
Shebri
efl
ylookedandwi pedherbrowswi
thher
fi
nger
s.Whatev ershewastryi
ngtosaywas
embarr
assingjudgingf
rom thest
ruggl
eshe
wasgoingthrough.
Her
:Doy
ouhav
e..
Her
:Yourbl
adder
.
Her
:Yesy
ourbl
adder
.
Her
:Cany
ou.
..
Her
:Li
ke.
.cont
rol
it?
Her
:Wheny
ou'
resl
eepi
ng?
Ipursedmyl i
pssohar dsot ostopmy selff
rom
l
aughing.Icouldn'
thol
di tanymore.Iputmy
handonmymout htostopthelaughterthat
Kgantshoandmymot herhatewi t
hapassi on.
Isthi
swomanaski ngmei fIpeeinmysl eep?
Shebeganlaughi
ngtooandlookedaway,
pucker
ingherl
ipsi
nhumili
ati
on,cl
ear
ly
exposi
ngherdeepdimpl
es.
Her
:What
?Ihadt
oask.
Me:
Noma.
Icont
inuedl
aughi
ng.
Her
:Thenwhathappenedher
elastni
ght
?Di
d
Muzi
kayi
se
.
..
Her
:Di
dhe
Her
:Def
lowery
oul
astni
ght
?
Ididn'
tknowhowt oanswerthi
s.Iwasst i
ll
cookingupananswerwhenMuzi abrupt
ly
openedthedoor.Hewasdonebat hingandhe
hadchangedhisoutf
it
.He'salwayswear i
ng
black.
Hi
m: Ohthereyouare.MacanIst
ealmywif
e
f
orjust2seconds?Uzobuy
a(She'
l
lcomeback)
Hesai
dthisholdi
nguptwofinger
sto
emphasi
ze,peepingt
hroughthedoor
,hol
ding
ont
othehandleontheoutsi
de.
Me:Haa.Awahl
apawena(
Youdi
dn'tbat
h).
Phel
ayouweregonef
oronl
yaminute.
Him: Ngi
thekunina"Ngi
sayogeza" .
Angikhumbulngishoamazwi wokuthi"
Ng'
say
o
swimma" .(
IsaidtoyouI
'm goingforabat
h.I
neversai
dI'm goingf
oraswim)
Weal
lbur
stoutl
aughi
ng.Muzi
isani
diot
.

UNEDITED. (
Anotheri
nser
twi
l
lbepost
ed
maybelat
erint
heevening.
)
I
nser
t33.

Magotupf
rom wher
eshewasseat
edand
excusedus.Muziwal
kedinandasalways,hi
s
scentwasdeadl
y.Hetookthespott
hathis
motherhadoccupi
edonthebed.
Hi
m:St
handwasami
Me:
Yeshubby
.
Isai
d,t
easi
nghim.HegiggledandsaidImust
al
wayscall
himthatinst
eadofcalli
nghim by
nameli
kehe'smylastbornchi
ld.Il
aughed.
Hi
m:Look,
I'
m goi
ngoutandIdi
dn'
twantt
o
hi
dei
tfr
om you.
Me:
Mabuy
i?
Hi
m:Yes.
Iexhal
ed.
Me:
Wher
eisshe?
Him:Kubo( Herhome).Shewastakenther
e
l
astnightsayi
ngshecan'tst
ayinthi
shouse
becausethestressi
sjustt
oomuchf orher
.
Hewi
pedhi
sfacei
ndi
str
ess.
Me:
Soy
ou'
regoi
ngt
ospendt
hedaywi
thher
?
Hi
m: I
'
mt aki
ngheroutf
orbreakf
ast
.Ther
e'sa
l
otsheandIneedtotal
kabout.
It
oldhi
mtodr
ivesaf
ely
.

Hegotupfrom hi
sseatandpul
ledmeupbymy
handssoIcanstandt
oo.Heheldmeti
ght,
and
thenbr
okethehugtolookmeinmyeyes.
Him:Call
mei fyouneedany
thi
ngokay
?
Ungasabi
(Don'tbeaf
rai
d)
If
aint
lysmi
l
edandt
oldhi
mI'
l
lbef
ine.
Hi
m:Howar
etheper
iodpai
nsnow?
Me:They'
reget
tingworsebuti
t'
snot
hingI
hav
en'twentt
hroughbefor
e.
Him:I
tbr
eaksmyhear
tknowi
ngy
ou'
rei
npai
n
baby
.
Her:
Youshoul
dgetgoi
ng.Ther
e'snot
hingwe
cando.
Hi
m:Ther
eisact
ual
l
y.
Hesaid,wit
hhisnotori
ousandprovocat
ive
smi
rkonhi sface.Ii
mmediatel
yknewwhathe
wasthinki
ng.
Me:Ohhel
l.Hambahambahamba.Isai
dand
t
ri
edpushi
nghim out(
Gogogo)

Hel aughed, t
urnedbackt okissmeandwent
out.Heshor t
lycamebackwi thhismacbook
andr outer,putthem onthebedandr eported
thatthewi fii
nthehousei sdown, hencet he
router.Hesai dhe'l
lsendallthenecessar ylogin
detail
sassoonashe' sint
hecar .Iappreciated
him caringaboutkeepi ngmeent ertai
nedev en
thoughhe' sofftoseeanot herwoman.Iwas
worriedaboutt heboredom thatwasgoi ngt o
keepmecompanydur ingtheday.Het hen
pi
ckeduphi
scarkey
sandphonef
rom t
hebed,
peckedmyl
i
psandleft
.

Iwaswor r
iedaboutt hesheet sIl efti
nt he
l
aundr yroom.Iwenti nt herewi thanai m of
hangingt hem butwhenIl ookedar ound, they
werenott here.Ididn'
twantt oaskal otof
questionssoIwentout .Onmywaybackt omy
room, Ibumpedi ntoMbuso.Hewasst il
lint he
outfi
thehadchangedi nt oy esterday.Black
j
eanswi thgr eydiscolour edpat ches,whi t
e
sneaker sandabl ackshi rtwhi chhehadf ol ded
onthear ms.Hehadnowunbut tonedi tabit ,
withhisl eatherjacketinhi shand.Hewason
hisphonesohewasn' tseei ngme.I ftherewas
adiff
er entr outeIwoul d'vet akeni t
.Butt omy
badluck, ther ewasnowayIcoul dgett omy
room wi thoutpassi ngbyhi mf irst.
Herai
sedhi
sheadandimmedi
atel
yfl
asheda
sl
owlygr
owi
ngsmile.
Iawkwardlysai
d"Goodmor ni
ng"becauseIdi
d
notwantthissi
tuat
iontogetmor emor e
uncomfort
ablethanital
readyfeel
s.
Hi
m:Mor
ning.
Hestil
lhadhisphoneinhi
shandwhenhesaid
t
his.Helockeditandputi
tawayandaskedme
i
fIsleptwellaf
terthat
.
Me:
Ver
ywel
lthanks.
Iwasn'tabouttoaskhim howhesleptbecause
heclearl
ydi dnot
.Hisphonerang.Hetookit,
hadaqui ckscoutatthecall
erI
.Dandflashedit
i
ntheai rindi
cati
ngthathehastotakeit.I
noddedandkeptwal king.

Ihonestl
ydidnotf
eel
li
kegoi
ngdownfor
breakf
astbutIal
sodi
dn'
twantt
oberude.Or
worsebet hemakot ithatwakesupatmi dday.
Thatisexactl
ywhatwasgoi ngtohappenand
thoughtofmei fIdidnotgetoutoft hisr oom.
WhileIwasst i
l
l batt
li
ngwi t
hmyt houghts, t
here
wasaknockonmydoor .Iyel
led"It
'sopen"and
awomanwal kedi nwithawoodent ray.She
l
ookedl i
keshewasi nherlate40s.Shegr eeted
meandaskedmewher etoputit.Idirectedher
tothebedsidetable.
Her
:Madam,
MrsEv
ely
naskedt
hatIbr
ingt
his
upt
oyou.
Me:Ohno.Please,
cal
lmeBetso.Shortf
or
Boi
kokobet
so.And,pl
easet
hankmaf orme.
Shesmi
l
edandnodded.
Her:Will
do.Shesai dIshouldalsot ell
youthat
she'sgoi
ngoutf orawhi l
ebutyoucanal ways
askusify ouneedanythingaroundt hehouse.
Thephonei soverthere.Shepointedatt he
othersi
deoft hebed.I'
vebeennot icingthi
s
phoneeversinceIwalkedi
nherebutIwasn'
t
taki
ngthepurposeofit'
spl
acementther
eto
head.It
hankedheronceagain.Shethen
walkedoutandclosedthedoor.

Thet rayhadabowl ofoat s,milk,apotoft ea,a

cupwi thitssaucer ,
abot t
leofwat erand
painkiller
s.Ihadnoappet itebutIal sohadno
i
nt entionsofdi sappointingany bodyher esoI
ateup.It ri
edhav ingthet eabutIcoul dn't
stomachmor et han3si psofi t
.Ittastedal ot
l
ikeoneofTumi 'shorri
bleher balconcoct i
ons.I
tookt hepai nki
llersanddownedhal fofthe
wat er.Ididalloft hi
swhi leswi tchingbet ween
social medi aapps.Af terIwasdone, Ilif
tedthe
trayandt ookitdownst airs.Theseper iodshave
not imi ngtobehonest .Whyt hisweekend?

Igott
otheki
tchenandf
oundt
hehel
ps
l
aughi ngthei
rlungsout.Theirl
aughssl owly
fadedasIputt hetrayontopoft het abl
etop
andgr eet
edall 3ofthem.Oneoft hem said
"Hawu.Ngabeuf ounil
ebesizozilandalezit
ja
madam" (
Youshould'vecal
led.Wewoul d'v
e
fetchedthesedishes)
Ismiledandaskedhert ocal lmebyname.The
onewhobr oughtt hem upwasnotpar toft his
pack.Mbusocamet ost andcl osel
ybehi ndme,
taki
nganappl efrom t hef ruitbasketpl acedon
thetabl
e.Hewasst andingwayt ooclosebuti t
seemedast houghIwast heonl yoneseei ng
thi
sbecauset hesewomenwer eshowi ngal l
thei
rteet
ht ot hismanashegr eetedthem l ike
they'
reol
df riends.Iqui cklyexcusedmy selfto
gobackupst air
s.Somet hingi nmei nsistedon
l
ookingback, whenIdi d,hissmi l
ewassl owi ng
fadi
ngbuthewasdeepl yst ari
ngatme, while
hismatescont i
nuedconv ersingwi t
heachot her
andlaughingt heirlungsout .Theyseemedat
home.Imov
edmyey
esf
rom hi
m andkept
wal
king.

Igottomyr oom andl ockedt hedoor .I

twas
nowsafetochangei ntoleggingsanda
comfort
ablet-shir
t.Thesecl otheswer e
suff
ocati
ngme.Idi dasmyhear tdesir
edand
sl
ippedundert hecovers.Mymom cal l
edasI
wasabouttopunchi nMuz i
'
spasswor donhis
l
aptopandIpi ckedup.Wespokef orawhil
ebut
Inevert
oldhert hatIam inKZN.Idi dn'
tknow
howshewoul dt akeit.Wecutt hecallandI
wentontoNet fl
ix.

Idon'tknowwhenIf ell
asleepbutIdid.Iwas
wokenupbymybur ni
nguterus.Itooksome
mor eofthepainki
l
lersandthewat erthatwas
l
eft.Iwantedtocheckt heti
mebutIwasmetby
2mi ssedcall
sfrom Muzi i
nstead.Thetimewas
13h04.Ical
l
edhi
m back.
Hi
m:St
handwasami
.Uv
uki
l
e?(
Youawake?
)
Me:
Yeah.
Hi
m:Al
ri
ghtunl
ockt
hedoorngi
yeza.
He'
sback.
Ididandwal kedbacktothebed.Thepai
nwas
toomuchIsl it
hereddowntot hecar
pett
ol ay
onmyst omach.Thiswasabitcalmingf
orme.
Hewal kedinsayi
ngsomet hi
ngIdidnotregist
er
andquicklycamet osquatnexttome.
Hi
m:Kwenzenj
anbaby
?(What
'swr
ong?
)
Ilazi
l
yrai
sedmyey esandt ol
dhimI'minpai
n.I
heldmystomachasIsaidt hi
s.Iwasn'
tbei
ng
dramati
c.Thepainwasli
teral
ly10ti
mesmor e
thanwhatIfeel
onmywor stper
iod.
Hel
i
ftedmeupandputmeont
hebed.
Hi
m:Shoul
dIt
akey
out
othehospi
tal
?
Me:
Forper
iodpai
ns?
Il
aughed.
Hi
m:Yeah!Youdon'
tl
ookt
oogoodr
ightnow.
Me:
I'
ll
beal
ri
ght
.Theyonl
ylastf
oraday
.
Heexhaledandfinall
ysatdown,af
tertaki
ngout
aLindtsl
abfrom hisbackpocket
.I'
m notafan
ofdarkchocol
atebutt hi
sgest
urebyhim meant
alottomyemot i
onal heart
.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t33cont
..
.

Muzi'
sarmsar ehonestlymysafeplace.My
sanctuar
y.Ifeelasthoughnothingcanev er
hurtme,ev eninharm'sway.Wecuddl edunder
thesheetsafterhegav emethatchocolat
e.We
thensharedit.Andtomysur pr
ise,
Iendedup
enjoy
ingit.Hekeptkissingmyneckand
shoulderandcaressi
ngmybreast
s.Ist
opped
him becauseofhowextr
emelysensi
ti
vethey
fel
t.Heunderstoodandj
ustputhi
shandson
mybut t.

Istar t
edfeeli
ngmushyanduncomf ortabl
eand
tol
dhi m Ineededt ochangemypad.Ihad
i
nitiall
yintendedtojustsayIwant edtouset he
l
oobutt hatcameouti nstead.Heof f
eredto
helpmeandIl aughedandsai d" Hai
bo!".He
l
aughedt ooandsai dhemi ssedmyl aughter.I
tol
dhi m he'sexaggerat i
ng.Hel aughedandsai d
Ishoul dcomebacksoonf r
om thelavatory
.I
tookapadandf emininewi pesandwent
straighttotheloo.

Igotdonewi t
hmybusinessandwentbacki nto
theroom.Ifel
tal
otfr
eshert hanIdid2minutes
ago.Iaskedhimt
otakeof fhisjeansandhe
gav
emeanaught
ysmi
l
e.
Me:Noman.Asi
yil
apho.They
'r
euncomf
ort
abl
e
onmyski
n.That
'sal
l.
Hel aughedandsai dokay,takingthem off
,
alongwi thhist-shi
rt
.Hethent ri
edtogetontop
ofme, sayi
nghewant st
ocur emyper iodpai
ns.
Ilaughedandaskedhi mifhewant st owash
thesheet sforthesecondtimet oday.He
continuedkissingmeandspeaki ngintomy
mout h.Her espondedbysay i
nghedoesn' t
mi ndandt hatheknowshowt ooper atea
washi ngmachi ne.
Il
aughedandgent
lypushedhi
m of
fme.
Me:Onaser i
ousnot
e,wecan'
t.Andwedi
dn'
t
usepr
otect
ionthi
smorni
ng.
Hi
m:Dowehav
eto?
Heexhal
ed.
Me:
Yes.AndIal
soneedmor
ningaf
terpi
l
ls.
Hi
m:Al
ri
ghtbaby
.Canwe.
.
Hi
ssentencewascutshor
tbyhisphoneri
nging
f
orat
tenti
on.Hetol
dmei t
'sManqobathentook
t
hecal
l.

Him:Ezweni
communi
cat
ionshowmayIhel
p
you?
Icouldn'thearhowhi sbrot
herf
rom t
heot
her
endoft heline.Helaughedatwhat
ever
responsehi sbrot
herthrewinhi
sear.
Hi
m:Ur
ight
?
Hi
m:Kushoba'
?(
Say
swho?
)
Him:Ahuy amazumamncanwakhoi sal
ways
exaggerat
ing.Ngir
ightmi
na..
(Youknowhow
yourauntisalway
sexaggerat
ing.I
'
m okay)
Him:Nonewhatsoever
.Ngiright.I
'm even
thi
nki
ngofgoingbacktotheof f
iceonMonday.
Thecathasbeenawayf orf
artool ong.The
companymightcol
lapseandt
hey
'r
eal
lgonna
sayt
heyfor
gottoletmeknow.
Hesaidandrol
ledhisey
es.Iwasly
ingonhis
chestasheconti
nuedwit
hhisconver
sat
ion
wit
hhisbrot
her.
Hi
m:Muphi
?(Whi
chone?
)
Hi
m: She'sri
ghthere.Ezandlenzam.Angi
thi
t
hina'banyesishadi
lebafo.(
...i
nmyarms.Isn'
t
i
tsomeofusar emar r
ied?)
Hesaidasheador abl
ylookedinmyey esasI
rai
sedmi netosmi l
eathim.Hepl ayful
l
ytapped
mynoset wi
cewi t
hhislefti
ndexfinger
.He
conti
nuedl i
steni
ngtohisbrotherandthenburst
outinlaughter.
Hi
m: Umonak'phelalowo.(That'
sjustpl
ain
j
ealousy)Shewasev entual
lygonnabemi ne
evenwi t
houtthefamily
'shelp.Onewayort he
ot
her .Nxai
y.Ungavumi usatanaksebenzi
se.
Ngiyaziuyiv
olunt
eerlaphakwahel lkodwat hi
s
i
sjustpureexpl
oit
ati
on.(
Don'tall
owthedevi
lto
useyou.Iknowyou'r
eavolunteert
her
einhell
but
..
)
Hecont
inuedl
aughi
ng.
Hi
m:Yeahusesekhona.(
..
.he'
sst
il
lher
e)
Him:Hay i
kuy omel ubuzey enangobami na
akang't
shelang' ukuthi
uhambani ni
.(
You'l
lhave
toaskhimy oursel
fbecausehenev ertol
dme
whenhei sleav i
ng).ANDwhyam Ibei ng
questi
onedaboutMbuso' swher eabouts?
Awunay oyiniinumbery akhe?(Don'tyouhave
hisnumber? )
Hi
m:Indabayenuingehl
ulemi
naang'
sazi
ke
manj
e.(Yourmatt
erwithhimi
snowaboveme)
.
Hi
m:Al
ri
ghtshar
p.

What'
shonest
lygoi
ngonbet weenMbusoand
Manqoba?Thi
ssil
entquest
ioninmyheadgave
meenoughmotivat
iontoaskwhathewant ed
t
osayaboutMbusowhenIaskedhi m about
t
hei
rbabyatthehospit
al.Heexhal
edandsunk
f
urt
herbackonthepil
low.

Hi
m: Shehadami
scar
ri
agebaby
.Si
mpl
eas
t
hat.
Me:Buty
oumadement
ionofMbusothatday
.
Heputhi
shandont
hef
rontofhi
shead.
Hi
m:Yeah.Idi
d.
Me:
So?
Ishakedmyheadt
oindi
cat
emyi
mpat
iencef
or
ananswer.
Hebreathedin,
hel
ditforashortwhi
leandthen
r
eleasedthr
oughhisnose.Icoul
dfeelhi
schest
mov i
ngtothesamerhythm.
Hi
m: Mbusohadagir
lf
ri
end.Thedaughterof
myfather
'sswor
nenemy,Gwala.I
ndaba
y
ok'l
welaumbusonobukhosi
.(Themat
terof
f
ight
ingoverchi
eft
aincy
).
Hesai
dandnonchal
ant
lywav
edhi
shandi
nthe
ai
r.

Him: Thewhol ef ami l

ywasagai nstt heir
relat i
onshi p.Buthei nsist
edonbr i
ngi ngher
overdur ingt hi
sot herfamilyreunion.Mbuso
bar elylistenst oanybodyher e,includingour
father .Any way ,SheandGuguwer ev eryclose
ont hatpar ti
cularday .Ever
y t
hingwasf i
ne,
thosewhohadboozecont inuedt odr ink,musi c
waspl ay ed,andt hosewhohadcookedf i
nally
dishedup.Shewashel pingoutal oti nt he
kitchen, t
hegi rl
fri
end.Shet henbr oughtpl at
es
tot hegent sinat rayandhandedt hem t ous
oneaf tert heother.Wewer esitti
ngout side.I
bar elydr i
nkal cohol andeatatt hesamet ime.
Mabuy icamet omeandsatonmyl ap, helping
her selftomyf ood.Tocutal ongst oryshor t,we
hadt
otakehert
othehospi
tal
acoupl
eofhour
s
fr
om t
hat
.
Soshewaspoi
soned?
Me:Wasitsomet
hingi
nthef
oodt
hatl
anded
heri
nhospi
tal
?
Him:Accordi
ngt oBab'
Ngemay es.Thepoison
wasinit
ial
l
ymeantf orme.Butapparent
lyI
cannotbepoisonedbuti
fsomebodywant sto
ki
llmethatway ,
it'
l
lal
waysaff
ecttheperson
cl
osesttome.

Thi
sishect
ic.
Me:
Sowhathappenedt
othegi
rl
?
Hi
m: Manqobatri
edtr
acki
ngherdown.Butshe
di
sappear
ed.I
t'
sasifshehadneverexi
stedand
weweredreamingaboutt
hewholethi
ng.
Me:
Disappear
edi
ntot
hinai
r?
Hi
m:Seemi
ngl
y.
Me:IthoughtManqobawasgoodwi
thsuch
t
hings.
.
Him:Hei
s.That
'sj
ustonecasehecoul
dn'
t
sol
ve.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t34.

Myheartcan'thel
pbutbr eakforGugul ethu.No
womandeser vesami scarr
iage.Butalso, we
tendt
oignorethefatherwhencomi ngt othe
l
ossofachi l
d.Hisfeeli
ngsar enevertakeni nt
o
consi
der
ation.He'
sbar el
yaskedhowhef eel
s.

Ther
ewasabi tofsi
l
enceinther
oom af
ter
Muziexpl
ainedt
hewholestor
ytome.
Me:
Zikode?
Hi
m:Hm?
Me:
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Hedr
oppedhi
schest
.
Hi
m:Ngi
rightbaby
.I'
vedeal
twi
thi
t.
Me:
Didy
ougot
other
apy
?
Hel
aughed.
Him:Ukeway i
bonaphiwenai
ndodayomZulu
i
hambaamacounsel ingnan'
nan'
(Wherehave
youeverseenaZulumangoingforcounsel
i
ng
andwhateverel
se?)
Il
aughed.

Him:I'
m ki ddingmanst handwasami .Trustme,
Ihavegr eatrespectforsuchfacil
i
t i
esandwhat
theystandf orwithregardtoment alhealt
hbut
they'
rejustnotf orme.Ican'ti
magi nebaringmy
soulforat otalstr
angertolookinto.
Me:
Hav
eyouatl
eastspokent
oMabuy
iabouti
t?
Thi
spolygamybusinessisconf
usi
ngformet o
behonest.Idon'
tknowwhichboundar
iesI
'
m
notsupposedtocrossint
ermsofhismarr
iage
wit
hhiswi f
e,i
fther
e'sany.
Him:Ihave.Don'
twor
ryaboutme.Let
'st
alk
aboutyou.
Me:
Me?
?
Ir
etr
eat
edmyf
acei
nconf
usi
on.
Him:Yes.You.You' veneversai
dawordabout
yourweddingev ersincet
hatdayatthehospi
tal
.
Iwasexpectingy outobeexcitedl
i
keother
bri
desnormal l
yar e.
Me:
Wel
lthi
sisn'
tanor
mal
casei
sit
?
Heexhal
edandl
ookedaway
.
Me:
I'
m sor
ry.Ij
ust
..
Him:Iunderst
andmylove.Takeyourt
ime.All
I
cansayis,whenyouf
inal
lygetinthemood,go
wi
l
d.Ther
e'sr
eal
l
ynobudget
.
Ismi
ledandbrushedhi
shandthathehadon
mychest.Heki
ssedthetopofmyhead.

Me:It
'snotthatIdon'
twanttogetmarri
edto
youbaby.Ido.Weddingsarejustal
otofwork.
They'
renothi
nglikepart
iesandbabyshower
s.
Hi
m:Icoul
dgety
ouaweddi
ngpl
anneri
fthat
's
what
'swor
ryi
ngy
ou?
Me:Iwasn'
tev
ent hi
nki
ngofthat
.I'
mjustso
usedt
odoingthi
ngsmy sel
f.
Hi
m: I
'
veneverseenany
bodypl
anni
ngt
hei
rown
weddi
ngmina
Me:Peopledo.AndIpl
aneventsf
oral
i
vingsoI
j
ustthoughti
twouldmakesense.
Hi
m:AndIdon'
twantat
ir
edbr
ide.
Hesai
d,kissi
ngt
het
opofmyf
oreheadaf
ter
ev
eryword.
Hi
m: Al
l
owmet ogetyouaweddi
ngplanner
.
He'
squit
egood.Wantmetoshowyouhiswork?
Me:
Please.

Hethentookhisphone,wentontoInstagram
andfoundtheplanner
'sbusi
nessaccount .He
gaveitt
omesoIcanscr ol
ldownmy sel
f.Itook
thephoneandslowlywentthroughthepage.
Me:
Sohest
ri
ctl
ydoesweddi
ngs?
Hi
m:Yeah.Ev
ersi
nceI
'
veknownhi
m.
Me:
He'
sgood.
Her
eal
l
yisgood.
Hi
m:He'
sbeeni
nthei
ndust
ryf
orqui
tesome
t
ime.
Ikeptscr
oll
i
ng,
admi
ri
ngi
nsi
l
ence.
Hi
m:Heebaby
.Awung'
buzi
yini
?(Askme?
)
Il
aughed.
Hi
m:Buzaphel
azi
yang'
shi
sami
nal
eyi
ndaba.
Me:
Ngi
yak'
buzake.(
I'
m aski
ng?
)
Hi
m:Heee
Heswal
l
owedandshookhi
shead
Me:
Khul
umaphel
amf
ethu(
Speakbr
a?)
Hi
m:Uy
ambonaubhut
'wakho?
Me:
Mang?
(Who?
)
Hi
m:uMQmaan.
Me:
Yes?
Isai
dlaughi
ng
Hi
m: Hewassupposedtobehomet hi
s
weekend.Buzami
naukuth'y
inganiengekho
l
ana?(Askmewhyhe'snothere?)
Thi
sIhav
etohear
.
Me:
Ngi
tshel
e(Tel
lme)
Him:2weeksback, kuv
ukeidramal
aphaemall.
Allt
hreeofhiswomengangeduponhi m.And
worsethey'
refr
om 3diff
erentpr
ovi
nces.How
theymetanddev i
sedaplantoambushhim?
Heraisedhi
sshoul
der
sanddr
oppedhi
spur
sed
l
ips.
Me:
Hai
bo!
Isai
dlaughi
ng.
Him:Yey.Ci
shewatr
endaumuntu.(
Heal
most
tr
ended)Yourmot
herinlawhadt
odosome
seri
ousdamagecont
rol.
Ibur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
Me:
Andt
henwhathappened?
Hi
m:Omuny ewabowamshi
yanengane.(
Oneof
t
hem l
efthi
m wi
thhi
sbaby)
Me:Howoldist
hebaby
?Act
ual
l
yhowmany
babi
esdoeshehav
e?
Him:
2withhi
swif
e.1withhi
sbabymomma.
Thet
winsar
e8yearsol
dandtheotheri
say
ear
ol
d.
Hehasawi
fe!
?
Me:
Wher
eist
hewi
fe?
Hi
m: Basahl
ukenekwamanj
e(They
'vebr
oken
upfornow)
Me:
Whatdoy
oumeanf
ornow?
Him:Uzobuy
a.Shealwaysdoes.Theycan'
t
keepawayfr
om eachotherf
orlong.
Ihonest
lydi
dnotthinkofMQasawoman' s
man.Wecont i
nuedlaughi
ngabouthowma
pul
ledManqoba'searwhentheygothome,
tel
l
inghi
mt orespectwomen.

Wewer esocaughtupingossipsomucht hat

wedidn'
treali
set
hattheroom wasdark.I
thad
got
tenlat
e.Itwasprobabl
yaround18h00inthe
eveni
ngandi
twasst
il
lcol
dandcal
mlydr
izzl
i
ng
outsi
de.
Him:RememberwhenIaskedy
out
ojoi
nus
hereathomef
orabraai
?
Me:
Yes?
Hi
m: Wepostponedi
tbecauseoft
hatacci
dent
t
hingyangi
thi
?
Hesays"thingy"l
ikeit
'snotabi
gdeal.Nigga
al
mostdiedandmethi smakerbuthe'soutchea
say
ing"Thingy"li
keitdoesn'
tmatt
er.
Me:
And?
Him:I'
mthinki
ngofhost
ingi
t,buti
nJHB
becauseI
'
m goingback.
Me:Ar
eyoumedi
cal
l
yfi
ttogobackt
othe
of
fi
ce?
Him:Fi
tasabull.Now,backt
othebr
aai
.Iwant
ustomakeithappen.
Me:
IsGugugoi
ngt
obet
her
e?
Hekeptqui
etf
orami
nut
e,t
hinki
ng
Him:Ihi
ghl
ydoubti
t.She'
sheav
il
ypr
egnant
baby
.
Me:
I'
ll
thi
nkabouti
t.
Me: Speaki
ngofGugu,
wher
eisshecomi
ng
back?
Him:Sherefusedtocomebackhome.She's
backtonotbeingablet
ostandme.It
hinkshe
wasjustherebecauseIwassi
ckandtoler
ated
meinstead.Idon'
tgeti
t.
Me:I
t'
snormal
.Mysist
erwentthr
ought
he
samethi
ngwhenshewaspregnant.
Him:
Meani
ngthechancesofy
oudoi
ngt
he
samear
ehi
gh?JESU!!
Il
aughed.
Me:Lucki
l
yforyou,
I'
m notget
ti
ngpr
egnant
any
timesoon.
Hi
m:Wannabet
?
Igav
ehi
m adeat
hst
areandhel
aughed.
Hi
m:Wil
lyoubeokayt
omor
rowni
ght
?Iwanna
t
akey
ouout?

UNEDITED .(Theotherhal
fwi
llbepost
ed
l
ateronint
heev
eningduetot i
meconst
rai
nts.)
I
nser
t34Cont
..

IagreetoMuzi t
aki
ngmeoutt oonlyhi m and
Godknowwher ebecausehewon'tdiscl
osethe
l
ocationtome.Iapparentl
yalr
eadyhav ea
dress.Il
aughedwhenhet oldmethisand
askedhim howheknowsmysi zeandhesai d
he'stheexper
tofmybody .Whateverthehell
thi
smeans.

Me:OkayMrExper
t.Mr
sExper
tneedsabat
h
now.
Hegentl
yholdsbothmyshoul der
sandkisses
t
hetopofmyr ightone.Hethensays"Mrexper
t
woul
dlovetojointheMrsinthatbat
h."
Il
aughoutl oud.Muzihonestl
ydoesnotgiveup.
He'
sincessant l
yrel
ent
lessandpersi
stent
.But
menstr
ual bloodisneverany
thingcl
osetoa
comfortzonef orme.
Me:I
'
dlovetosoakmysel
finhotwat
ertoday
.
Bymysel
f.Fort
hepai
n.Heardi
thel
ps.
Heunderst
ood.Il
ovehowhenev erf
orcesand
compel
smet odothings.Ist
oodupforthebed
andpul
ledmyleggi
ngsup.
Iwenti nt
othebathr oom wit
hanai
m off
il
li
ng
thetubwi t
hhotwat er
.Ibegi
nbywashi
ngitfi
rst
becauseIhav enoi deawhohasbeenhere
before.Hygienefi
rst.Lucki
ly
,ev
ery
thi
ngIneed
i
sal r
eadyher e.

Hecomesi
nasI
'
m bendi
ngov
erandscr
ubbi
ng
thetub.He'sinhisj
eans.Zippedupbut
unbuttoned.Bar
efoot.It
urnmyheadandhav e
alookathi m.If
indhimleaningagai
nstthe
door,wearinghi
schar mi
ngy etpr
ovocat
ive
smil
e.
Me:
Keeng?
Hesay s"Hmm- mm" ,
meaning" Nothing".Ismil
e
andcont i
nuewi t
hscr ubbi
ngusingt hebr ushI
foundinhere.I'
m surehe'sgoingtospeak
eventuall
ybecauseIknowf orafactithas
everyt
hingtodowi thmyass.Imakesur ei t
bobsandbouncesj usttoprovocatehim.Ismi l
e
backathi m andlaugh.Hehuf f
soutal augh,
threat
eningme.
Him:Yourper
iodssavedy ouyazwena.Notthat
they'
remuchofahindrance.Other
wisengabe
uyakhal
amanje.(
You'dbecr yi
ngbynow)
Il
aughl
ouderandaskhi
mtoleave.Heslowly
moveshi
mselffr
om t
hedoorandapproaches
me.Het urnsmear oundandhol dsmywai st
.I
hangmywethandsov erhi
sshoulders.He
sl
owlypushesmet owardsthewal l
,backingme
agai
nstit.Hequickensthepaceofhi skissas
hepinsbot hmyhandsup.Hel et
sthem goand
moveshi shandsdownmysi destil
ltheyland
onmybut t
.(Removed)
Me:
Slowdownt
iger
.
Hi
m:YouknowwhatI
'
vehear
d?
Hewhi
sper
sback
Me:
What
?
Heki
ssesmesl
owl
ybef
orehespeaks.
Him:I
'
veheardt
hatwat
erki
ndabl
ocksper
iods.
Temporar
il
y.
Iknowwhathe'
sthi
nki
ng.Il
aughandpushhi
m
out.

Af
terIf
il
lthet
ub.Igooutt
ofet
chmyt
oil
etr
y
bag.Ishoul
d'
vejustkeptiti
nher e.If
indhim
gone.Il
ockthedoorandt akeof fmyclot
hes.I
soakmyselfinthehotbathf oranhour.Heat
doeswondersforperi
odpai ns.Ihadnodoubt
thi
swouldwork.I'
vejustnevertriedi
tbefor
e.
Igetmy selfoutofthebathandwipemywhol e
body.Ithenputonmyunder wearalongwitha
night
ti
mepad, wrapmy sel
fwit
hat oweland
cl
eanupt hebat hroom.Igobackintothe
bedroom toloti
on.Irecei
veaknockonmydoor .
Iaskwhoi ti
sandmaaf f
ir
ms.Igoandt urnthe
key,openingthedoor.

Shecomesi nwit
hat rayoffood.Iclosethe
doorbehindher
.Sheput si
tdown, takesher
phonefrom t
hetrayandasksmehowI '
m
feel
i
ng.
Me:
Alotbet
tert
hant
hisaf
ter
noon.
Her
:Menst
rual
crampsusedt
opar
aly
zemet
oo
whenIwasyourage.Theyst
oppedaf
tergi
vi
ng
bi
rt
htoPhakamani.
Me:
Real
l
y?
Her
:Yes.Iev
en.
.
Herphoneri
ngsbeforeshecoul
dcomplet
eher
sent
ence.Sheaskstobeexcusedandt
hen
l
eaves.

Icont i
nuewi t
hmybusi nessandt henput
anot hersetofleggingsonwi t
hanov ersizedt-
shirt.Comfortisamustandanobl i
gationwhen
I'
m onmyper iod.Iremov etheplatecov erand
checkwhat '
sont heplate.Papisast apleinthis
house.Thechi ckenandv eggi
eslookmout h-
wat eri
ngbutmyappet it
ehasnoi nt
entionof
comi ngtot hi
spar t
y.I'
l
l eatl
ater
.Ithinkt o
my self.
Iclosetheplateandgoswi tchont hel i
ght.I
comebackandt aketheor angej uicef r
om t he
trayanddr i
nkit.Iwonderwher eMuzi kayi
sehas
disappearedto.Icameher ewi t
hi ntentionsof
touri
ngt hi
splacebutmyut eruswoul dn'tletme.
I'
m notsur r
ender i
ngtoittomor row.Whi chi s
myl astdayher e.Ther
e'saknockonmydoor .
Hewal ksinbef oreIcouldsayent er.He'sal so
clean.He'swear i
ngabl ackv est,blackcar go
shortsthatgodownt ojusthi skneesandhi s
Adidassl i
des.Forgetthatit'
scol d.Il ovehow
hisdresssensei ssoaf for
dabl eandsi mplebut
stil
lmanagest omakehi ml ookl ikeasnackat
thesamet i
me.You' dswearhehasanav erage
bankaccount .

Me:
Whati
fIwasnaked?Youshoul
dknock.
Hi
m: Whati
sitthaty
ou'
rehi
dingfrom methat
myeyeshaven'
tseenandmyt onguehasn'
t
t
astedbef
ore?
Il
augh.Mci
i
m.

Istandandhecomest oholdmebymywai st.

Hesmel l
sli
kehispotentbodyloti
on.Iswif
tly
brushthepar
tofhist-shi
rtsit
ti
ngoverhis
shoulder
stwiceandsay" Baby,woul
dyoumi nd
i
f..
."
Hi
m:Weeeeeeee
Hesay
sandl
aughs.Il
aughaswel
l
.
Hi
m:Uf
unani
?
Me:
Ineedyoutotakemet ot
hemal
ltomor
row
mor
ningoratl
easttakeawal
kwi
thme.
Hi
m:Easyenough.
Hesay
sandpecksmyl
i
ps.

UNEDI
TED. [
Apol
ogi
esi
fit
'st
ooshor
t.
Ti
me.]
I
nser
t35

*
**Thenextday
***
Myper iodpainsonlylastforadayand
somet i
mest wo.Thismor ning,
theywer ever
y
toler
ablesoIshouldbef inebythisafternoon.I
thinktomy sel
fasIputmyhandsov erMuzi '
s.
It
'ssurelysti
llv
eryearlyi
nt hemorningandhe' s
fastasleep.Hemanagedt oconvi
ncemet o
sleepinhisroom whenIcamei nherel astni
ght,
tobringbackhi sl
aptop.

IneededtousetheloosoItr
iedt
ogl
idemy
wayoutofhishands.Hisgr
iponmegrewabi
t
ti
ghter.Hepul
ledmebackintohi
sar
msand
breathedout
."Muzi
?Baby?"
Hedi dn'tr
epl
y.Hewasst
il
lfastasleep.It
ried
extendingmyarmtothebedsidetabletoreach
formyphonebutbecausehisbedi sbigger
thanmi neandourbodieswerepl acedmor e
towardsthecentr
e,Icouldn'
treachi t
.Iguess
I
'm goingtohavetowai tf
orhimt owakeup
becauseIdidnotwantt odist
urbhi m.

Sleepmusthav emanagedtochar
m meoffmy
feetbecauseIwaswokenupbykissesonmy
cheek,whereas,Iwasawaket
helastt
imeI
checked.
Hi
m:Goodmor
ning,
sleepyhead.
Me:
Mor
ning.
Isayandsmi
l
ebackt
ohi
m.
Me:
Whatt
imei
sit
?
Hi
m:Hal
ffi
ve.Sl
eptwel
l
?
Me:
Yes.YesIdi
d.
I'
m sti
l
lsmil
ing,admi
ringhi
sbeauti
fulf
aci
al
feat
ures.Heall
owsmyhandt oslowlyt
akea
short
cutthr
oughhisfacetohi
shair.Si
l
ence.
Bl
i
ssf
ulsi
l
ence.

Hemov eshishandf rom mychestand

stret
cheslikeababywhohasj ustbeenwoken
upf r
om deepsl eep.Itel
lhi
m weneedt ogetup.
Hedoesn' trepl
y.Kekeepsst r
etchingand
yawning.Heput shishandbackandhol dsme
ti
ghtandsnuggl esme.Het hent akesadeep
sighandbegi nstospeak.
Hi
m:St
handwasami
.Weneedt
otal
k.
Ohdear.Ihat
ethese4wor
ds.Theymakeup
t
hesloganofdoom.

Me:
About
?
Hi
m: Ar
eyouwi
l
li
ngt
omov
etoJobur
gaf
terour
weddi
ng?
Iexhal
ed.Iknewwehadtohavethi
s
conver
sati
onbutIdi
dnotant
ici
patei
twoul
dbe
t
hissoon.I
'
m wi
l
li
ngt
opar
ti
cipat
enonet
hel
ess.
Me:Idon'
tknowbaby
.Mov
einwi
thy
ou?What
aboutMabuyi
?
Him: I
'
v ebeent hi
nki
ngaboutt hi
sforav erylong
ti
me.Iknowt hetwoofyouwon' tbeablet olive
i
nt hesamehouseandIal sodon'twantt obe
breaki
ngoutf ight
sandput ti
ngoutfir
es3t i
mes
aday7day saweek.So, becauseshehasbeen
l
ivingi
nt hathouseforawhi lenowandy ou've
alsohintedthatyoudon'
tl i
kethathouse,you
andIwi llgohousehunti
ngt ogof i
ndthehouse
you'dl
iket ol
iveinbuti
nt hesamear ea.

Itookaf ewsecondst othi

nkaboutwhathe' s
j
ustsai d.Whataboutmyj ob?Mybusi ness?
Mostofcl ient
eleisbasedinPolokwaneand
surroundingareas.Ist
atedtheseconcernsto
hi
m.
Hi
m:Buty
oudon'
tneedaj
obbaby
..
.
Iwasaboutt
oargueandspi
tfi
rebuthe
i
nter
ject
edandi
nter
rupt
edme.
Him:But
..
.but
,ifi
tbother
syout
hatmuch,
you
coul
dcomewor kwit
hme.
Il
augh.Hewant
smet
obehi
sP.
A?
Him:Or,y
oucouldbecomeaful
lti
me
busi
nesswoman.I'
minter
est
edi
nhelpi
ngy
ou
growyourbusi
ness.
Me:
Hel
pmehow?Asi
n,acashi
nject
ion?
Him:I
nvesti
nit
.I'
veseenyourwor
kandI
bel
iev
eyou'r
egoingpl
aces.
Idon'tknowi fhe'sbutt
eri
ngmeupr ightnowor
he'sbeinghonest .ButIknowmywor kisgood
becausei t
'seit
herIputmybl ood,
sweatand
tearsintoanev entorIdon'tdoitatall
.
Me:
I'
ll
thi
nkabouti
t.
Hi
m:Fai
renough.
Igotupf rom t hebed.Het ri
edgr abbingme
backbutIr anandl aughed.It ookmyphoneand
checkedt het i
me.06h02.Myphonedi splay ed.I
tol
dhi mI '
m goi ngf orashowerandhemust n'
t
fol
lowme.Hel aughedandaskedmei fI '
m
awar et hatI '
m st uckwi thhi mf orlifebecausei t
doesn' tlookl i
keIam.l continuedl aughingand
l
efthi mt her e.Thesunwasnotoutbuti twasn' t
coldei ther .Igoti ntomyr oom, tookashower
anddeci dedonapeachmaxi dr esswi t
hnude
sli
ponsandl es.Thedr esswasabi ttightand
huggedmear oundmybut tandhi psbuthada
cont i
nuedf lowf r
om t heredownwar ds.It ook
outmyweav eandbr ushedi t.Ihav eno
i
ntent ionofl ookingliket hecr apI '
mf eelingl i
ke
today .Isati nf rontoft hemi rroranddi dmy
makeup.Imadesur ei twasn' tt oomuchy et
noticeabl e.Mymi ni
mal highlightandcont our
wereonf leek.Icoul dn'tdeci deonwhet hert o
putonanudeorar edl ipst i
ck.Ideci ded
againstbot handwentwi thabr onzel i
pgl oss
i
nst
ead.Mi
nimal
i
sti
cist
het
hemeoft
heday
.

Icont i
nuebr ushingmywi g.Thehairbrushf l
ows
easilyast houghpassingt hroughwat er.Oneof
thehel pscomesandy ell
sthatbreakfastis
readyt hroughthedoor .Iacknowledgemy
receiptoft hi
smessageandassur ehert hatI'
ll
makemywaydownst airsinaminuteev en
thoughIhav enoi nt
entionofhavingi there.WE
havenoi ntenti
onofhav ingither
e.IhopeMuzi
i
sal sor eadybecauseIhat ewait
ing.Ithinkto
my selfasIdi alhisnumber .Hepicksupont he
3rdring.

Him:Sthandwasami
.Arewenotinthesame
houseorkuhlanyamina(
oram It
heonethat
'
s
crazy
?)
Ichuckl
e.Hesoundsl
i
kehe'
spaci
ngi
nhi
s
room.
Me:
Arey
our
eadyt
ogo?
Hi
m:Yeahmasambe(
Let
'sgo)

Icutthecal l andcont i
nueputti
ngal lmy
necessitiesintomyhandbag.Powder ,
theli
p
glossIcur rentlyhaveon, wi
pes, pads,purse
andcel l
phone.It henstandandt rytoremember
whatI '
mf orgetti
ng.Earri
ngs!Iforgottoputon
earri
ngs.It akeoutt hesmal lsi
l
v erboxf r
om my
toil
etr
ybaganddel i
catel
yopeni t.Ival
ueitalot
becausei twasagi f
tfrom mymot heronmy
21stbirthday .Sheboughtt hem formewhenI
turneddownheref fort
stothrowmeapar ty.
Andt hesear erealdiamonds.Theycomewi t
ha
sli
m andsassyneckl acewhichaccent uatesmy
neckli
ne.

Muziwal
ksinasI
'm admir
ingmyear
ri
ngs.He'
s
wal
ksint
alki
ngandputti
ngonhi
swatch.
Him:Yazapersonwoul
dgototownbyfootand
comebackonlytofi
ndyoust
il
l.
.get
ti
ng.
..
read.
..
dyy
y..
Heslowsonhistracks.Iconti
nuel
ookingat
hi
m andli
steni
ngtohi sspeechget
ti
ngslurr
ed.
Helookssever
elystunned.Hismouthi
sstil
l
openasheslowlyputhishandsinhispocket
s.

Ismil
eandt el
lhi
mtocl
osehi smouthbefor
e
fl
iesf
lythr
ough.Hequi
cklypurseshi
sli
ps
toget
herandwalkst
owardsme.
Hi
m: Hayicha.I
dlozil
am l
i
ng'
thandengempel
a
l
a!(Myancestorreal
l
yshower
edmewi th
af
fect
ionhere)
Isoftl
ylaugh.I'
m gett
ingtheexactreacti
onI
anti
cipatedfrom hi
m andI'm happy.Havi
ng
Muzi hypemeupabouthowpr ett
yIam makes
mef eelinsuper
ablygorgeous.Myconf i
dence
feedsoni t.
Het akesthesmal lboxfrom myhandandsay s
"I
thingik'
size"(
Letmehel pyou).Heplucksout
oneear ri
ngf r
om itandputstheboxont hebed.
Hepushesachunkofmyhai rbehindmyearon
andput sont hediamondknob.Icl osemyey es.
Hest aresatmef orsecondsunt i
lI'
vereal
ised
thathehasst opped.Iraisemyheadt olookat
him andhesmi l
es.Hefinall
yspeaks.
Hi
m:Sonephi
?Ngempel
angempel
asi
kwenz
en
mamakhe?
Ibur
stouti
nlaught
er.He'
sexagger
ati
ngnow.
Hetookoutt heotherear r
ingfrom t
heboxand
di
dt hehonours.Het hencarefull
ytookoutthe
necklace.Ihadzer
oi ntenti
onsofwear i
ngitbut
Iwasn'tgoingtoargue.Heswi ftl
ypushedallof
myhai rtomyside,hookedi tonandt hen
ki
ssedmyback.
Het
hent
urnedmear
oundt
ohav
eal
ookatme.
Hi
m: Umuhl
e.Allt
heoceansandt
hemount
ains
wi
llhav
enochoicebuttobowdownt
oyou
t
oday,myqueen.
Hesai
dandsmi
l
ed.Ibl
ushed.He'
sbei
ngt
oo
muchnow.
Hiscol ogner emindedmet hatIdidn'tputon
mine.It ookitoutofmyt oil
etrybag.Isprayedi
t
onmyneckandmywr i
sts,consequent l
y
brushingt hem againsteachot herwiththeli
din
myl efthandandt hebot t
leinmyr ight.I
tsmell
s
l
ikeasy nergi
z edcombi nati
onofr osesand
strawber r
ies.Ithenplacedi ti
nmyhandbagas
hecont inuedwat chingmewi t
hlotsof
admi r
at i
onandador at
ionspar kl
ingfrom his
eyes.
Hi
m:You'
rer
eady
?
Me:
Yes.YesIam.
Isai
dcheer
ful
l
y.
Hetookmyhandbagi nhisonehandandmy
handintheother.Hewasdressedlikehisusual
sel
f.Bl
ack.Jeans.Poloshor
t-
sleevedt-shir
tand
maroonNikesneakers.Theonlybadlypriced
andexpensi
veitem onhisbodywashi swat ch.
Wewal keddownst air
sandev eryonewas
aroundt hebreakfasttabl
e.Mbuso, inhi
s
pyjamas, wasonhi sphonewhi l
e
simultaneouslyhav i
ngaconv ersati
onma, who
washav i
ngmuesl i
whileever
y bodywashav i
ng
toastedbread, sausagesandt hejunkyworks.
Thechi efwasr eadinghisnewspaperwi t
hhis
stri
ngedgl asseson.

Mastoodupfrom herseatwhenwewal kedin.

I
fjawswerefragi
le,
Mbuso'swould'
veshatter
ed
andbrokenonthefl
oor.Thechi
eftookoffhis
gl
asses.Maturnedmear oundwi
thahuge
smi
l
eonherf
ace.
Her:Nt
ombi!You'
remakingmefeel
ast
houghI
needtopul
lmyslaysocksup.
IlaughedasMuzi laughedandsaid"Good
mor ningtoy outoomot her
.Mor ni
ngever
yone"
.
Mabr i
eflyrai
sedherey est
ohim andsaid
"Mor ning"andbroughtthem backtome.
Her
:Wher
edoy
oushopf
ory
ourdr
esseschi
l
d?
Me:
Truwor
thsma.Andonl
i
ne.
Her
:Reall
y?Yourmother
-i
n-l
awneedsav
isi
tto
t
hemall.Andthei
nter
net.
Ilaughedharder.Mbusohasnev ertakenhi
s
eyesof fofmeandjustthisisenought o
promptmet otel
lMuzithatwehav etogo,of
coursewi t
houtmakingitobviousthatI'
m
runningawayfrom hisbrot
her.

Thechi
efsay
s"Wher
etot
hismor
ning?
"wi
tha
wi
desmi
l
eonhi
sface.
Muzi
:Themal
l
.Iwannashowherar
ound.
Chi
ef:
Good!Good!Of
fyougonow.
Muzit
akesmyhandandmaqui
ckl
yshout
s
"
Takecareofhernow!
"
Muzinodsandl aughs.Whenwef i
nallyget
outsi
de,Muzifi
nall
ysays" Yazifmymot herhad
thechoiceandli
berty
,she'dadopty ouand
rat
herhav emeasherson- in-l
awi nstead
ngendlel
aak't
handangay o".Hel aughedand
shookhishead.Itel
lhim Ihighlydoubtt hat.
Me:She'
dnev
erex
changeherboy
-boyf
or
any
thi
ng.
Hesi
de-
eyesmeasat
hreatandl
aughs.
Hi
m: Offencenumber2.Qhubeka.Angi
namona.
(
Continue.I'
m notj
eal
ous)
.Iexplodei
nfit
sof
l
aughter!
Wedr ivetot hemal lasIenj oyt hemusi che's
playinginhi scar .Part
icularl
ywhenhepl ayed
'
Kissesi nt hemoonl i
ght'byGeor geBenson.He
keptki ssingmyhandashehadoneofhi son
thest eeringwheel ,tel
li
ngmehowhewant sto
showmet hesoccerf i
eldheusedt oplay
socceratwhenhewasaki d.Iaskedhi m why
hest oppedpl ay i
ng.Hesai dheoncesust ained
agr oininjurythenhi smot herbannedhi mf rom
playing.Itappar entl
ywor kedi nherf avour
becauseshedi dn'twanthi mt opl aywhenhe
startedouti nthef ir
stplacebuthi sfatherkept
encour agingi t.Wecont i
nuedl aughi ngand
havingt hisconv ersati
onwi tht hemusi cplay i
ng
i
nt hebackgr ound.I nbet weent heglanceshe
keptt akingatme, Ikeptreal i
zi
nghowmuchof
ahappypl acehei sforme.Myhear tishappy .
Mysoul i
scont ent.

UNEDI
TED [
Theot
herhal
fMI
GHTbe
post
edtoni
ght(
Pleaseunderl
inethewor
d
MIGHTandhighl
ighti
tinpink)]
.
Nar
rat
or:
Gugul
ethu

Muzikay i
segi vesthebestfootmassagesbut
nowt hatI '
m homeI '
llhav
et osett
lefortheones
Ireceivefrom mymot her
.Myf eetarealways
swollenandI 'm al
way ssuff
eri
ngf r
om
i
ndigestion.Khumal oistryi
nghisbesttogive
meal lthesuppor tIneedbutIcan'twatchhim
l
ov eanot herwomanr i
ghtnow.Ineedt i
met o
acceptandacknowl edgemyf ateespecial
ly
nowt hati tf
eelsasthoughIhav ebeen
demot ed.

I
'veaskedhim countl
esstimeswhohel oves
mostbetweent hetwoofusbecauseIf eelI
needtoknowbuthekeepssay inghelovesus
both,
equall
y.Isti
llmaint
ainthatshecameinto
ourlivesatacompl etelywrongt i
me.Ifeelfat
andhi ppoi shev er
ytimeIl ookather.Ididn'
t
mindmypr egnancyf atbef oreshecameal ong.
Butnow, itbot hersmeal otI'veevenstart
ed
exercising.I t
'ssomet hingmydoct orhasbeen
encour agingev ersinceIfellpregnantbutI'
ve
j
ustbeenpr ocr asti
nating,duckinganddi vi
ng
everyti
meKhumal osuggest sweexer ci
se
together .

Shar i
ngamani snotchi ld'
spl ay.Evenmy
mot herconfir
medt ot hisbutsheal waysends
thi
sst atementwith"Buti t'
sdoabl e".Shealways
say sI'
m all
owingmy selftolosemymanby
runningawayf rom thisandt hatonedoesnot
rel
axi napol y
gamousmar r
iage.She'salways
preachingabouthowmuchIshoul d'vet
aken
afterherbecauseshenev erev enonceallowed
anot herwomant okickheroutofherown
husband' sheart
.Ifeel exhaust ed.Ihaveno
str
engthtobei
nanysor
tofcompetit
ionatt
his
point
.HenceImov
edoutofthehouse.

Ili
keBoi kokobetso.I nallhonest y.Ihaveagood
feeli
ngabouther .I ftheli
bertyofchoosi nga
sist
erwi fewasi nmyhands, I
'dchooseher .She
hasagoodandmat ureheadont heshoul ders.
I'
mj ustwor ri
edaboutmybaby .Mymot hersay s
i
t'snecessar ytomaket ripl
esur et hatyour
sist
erwi felovesy ourkidst oacl oserext entto
howshel ovesher s.Hencei tisimpor t
antt oget
along.Peopl epoisonki dsallthet ime.Sheal so
saysr ai
singaf uturekingi snev erchild'
spl ay.I
don'thav ethestrengt hforallofthi s.

Muzi kayi
seaskedtomeetmef orbreakfast
afterImov edbackhomel astni
ght.Icouldn'
t
stayt ospeaktohim af
terhedroppedmeof f
butnowhe' snott
aki
ngnof orananswer .This,
i
nawaymakesmef eel speci
albecausei
fhe
wasadi f
ferentman, hewoul d'
vepaidmore
attenti
ontohi snewwi fe.Ialwayshavetohave
abananapeel t
oputov ermynosef ornausea
eacht i
meI '
m ar oundhi m.Justincaseitstr
ikes.
Whi chitdoes2outof4t i
mes.Iwishsomebody
wasconsi der at
eenoughandt ol
dmehow
tought hi
spr egnancywasgoi ngtobe.Iwas
goingtooptf oradoption.

Itakeaqui ckshowerandputonmynav ybl

ue
mat erni
tydresswithwhi testri
pes.Myshoesno
l
ongerf itsowhoev erisgoi ngt ohav eaproblem
withmysl i
pperswillhav etoswal l
owadeal pil
l
.
Theonl ychangeI '
m gr atefulforwithregar
dt o
thi
spr egnancyismyhai r.Myhai risnowt hi
cker
andi tgrowsfasterthani tusual l
ydoes.Idryit,
applyhai rf
oodandt iei nabun.Al way s.I
haven'tbeent omyhai rdr esserindecades.He
can'tstopcalli
ng,sayingI 'mf l
ushinghis
pr
ogr
ess.DoIcar
e?

Icanhearmymot herandMuzi
kayi
se
conver
singandlaughi
ngfr
om t
heTVroom.
He'sher
e.Itakemyhandbagandheadout
.
Mommy :Ngazengahl
ukumezekangomf azi
wakhonamaf ootr
ubangaphel
i.Haibo(Your
wi
feisharassi
ngmewithherendlessdemands
f
orfoot
rubs)
Muzilaughesandsayshe'
sheretofetchmeso
sheshouldn'
tworrymuch.Theycont
inue
l
aughingunti
ltheybot
hseemest andingbyt
he
door
.
Me:
Wecango.By
emom
Her
:By
ebaby

Hestandsupfrom thecouch,
bidsmymother
goodbyeandapproachesme.Het akesmy
handbag,hol
dsmyhandandwemakeourway
out.Wegetoutsi
deandheopenst
he
passengerdoorf
orme.Igeti
n.
Af
terheal
soget
sset
tl
edi
nhi
sseat
..
Hi
m:Sawubona
Hesay
sandsmi
l
es.
Me:
Unj
an?
Him:I
'
m notokaySamket
he.Ineedy
ouback
home.
Me:SoIcanwat
chy
oubel
oveydov
eywi
thy
our
wi
fe?
Heexhalesandhit
sthebackofhi
sheadonhi s
seat.Heal
waysdoesthiswhenhe'
sfr
ustrat
ed
i
nt hecar
.Heslowlyt
urnshi
sheadtolookat
me.
Hi
m:It
houghtwe'
veal
readyspokenaboutt
his.
Isneeranddi
rectmywhol
eheadt
oface
outsi
de.
Hi
m:Okay
.CanIspeakt
omysont
hen?
Me:
Sincewhendoy
ouaskf
orper
missi
ont
odo
t
hat
?
Heattemptstosaysomethi
ngbutkeepsqui
et
i
nstead.Hethenbendstowar
dsmybumpand
put
shi shandonmyt ummy.
Him:Heyboy.SawubonaMbulazi
.Sawubona
Mntungwa.Uyak'
khumbul
auBaba.Pleasest
op
abusi
ngmywi fe'
semoti
onsbecauseIneedher
backhome?Ngi y
ak'
cel
afana?
Asmi
l
eescapesmyl
i
psbef
oreIcanst
opi
t.

Butwai
t.Wher
eonear
thi
shi
sweddi
ngr
ing?

[
Thisistheveryfi
rstandlastPOVI'l
lev
erdoke
guys.Ihopethi
sgivesy ouahintoft
hekindof
rel
ati
onshipMabuy ihaswit
hherhusbandfor
t
hosewhohav
ebeenaski
ng.]
I
nser
t36.

Weev entuall
ygott othemal l.Muzi askedmet o
choosewher eIwannaeatandIcoul dn'
tmake
thechoi ce.Wear guedwi t
heachchoi cehe
madeunt ilhesaid"Youknowwhat ?We're
eat i
ngatwhat everplacewecomeacr ossf i
rst
".
Ilaughedunt ilheremember edt hathehasa
fri
endwhohasr ecentl
yopenedar estuarant
andt hatheoncepr omisedt ocomecheckout .I
askedhi m whatki ndofrestuaranti tisandhe
saidit'
sappar entl
yacombi nationof5count ri
es
andwhatt heyeat.Iwasi nt
er estedi nseeing
this.
Wegott
otheplace.Il
ookedupandi
twas
wr
it
ten"
Joe'
s".
Idi
dn'
tmeantol
aughbutIdi
d.Atf
ir
sthewas
puzzl
edast
owhatiti
sexact
lyt
hatI
'mlaughi
ng
at.Hebeganl aughi
ngtoooncehecaughton.I
wasl aughi
ngbecauseofsomet ar
venofnote
thatoncecreatedasti
ronTwitt
ercal
led
"KwaJoe".
Hi
m:Hay
ibaby
.Khuzeka(
Stopbei
ngunr
uly
)
Hesaidandcontinuedlaughing.Iheldmy
mouthtostopmy selff
rom laughingasaman
i
nagr eyapronwrit
ten"Joe'
s"initali
cscame
appr
oachingtowardsus.Muzi stil
lhadmyri
ght
handinhis.

Muzi
:JayJay
!
Hi
m:Pacman!
Theygreet
edeachot
herl
ikeol
dfr
iends.I
'm
guessi
ngthis"
Pacman"namecomesf r
om
Phakamani.
Him:Fede?Ihear
daboutyouracci
dentman.
I
'm sor
ry.Andabouty
ourcartoo.Muziwav
ed
hi
shandnonchal antlyintheai
randsaidhe'
s
fi
nenow.Het hent urnedtowar
dsme, smil
ed
beforehecouldsay" JJ,meetmywife,
Sphakamile"
.Heext endedhishandwith
adorati
ononhisf aceandsaid"It
sapleasur
eto
meety oupret
tylady."
Hi
m:So.
.
Hedart
edhiseyeslooki
ngli
kehewasn'
tsur
eof
whathewantedtosayorifhewant
edtosayi
t.
Hi
m:Ni
div
orci
l
eno.
..Buy
i?
Muzicl
ear
edhi
sthr
oatandsai
d"Noshe'
sst
il
l
ar
ound"
Hi
m:I
sthembu!
?
Hepoppedhi
sey
es.
Muzi
laughedandsai
d"AwumenaweJJ"
(St
op
i
t)
JJl
aughedandsai
d"Justl
ikeol
dtimeshuh?
Uyi
njay
eGamekonjewena.UGhabadi
ya"
Muzi
laughedandsai
d"Uqal
il
euyabheda".Fi
nd
usatabl
eandstopbei
ngunnecessar
il
yextr
a"
Onlyt
hendi
dhesay"
Wel
comet
oKwaJoemy
peopl
e!"
Weexpl
odedinlaught
erandhedi
rect
edust
oa
t
abl
etowardsthecent
er.

It
'ssti
ll
earlybutt
heplacei
sfair
lyf
ull
.Wegot
seatedasheaskeduswhatwewoul dl
iket
o
dri
nkbef or
ehebringsthemenu.
Me:CanIpl
easehav
esomegi
nandt
oni
cora
mi
mosa?
Muzit
urnedabr
upt
lyt
urnedhi
sheadt
owar
ds
me.Il
aughed.
Asmil
egrewonhisf
acewhenhereal
i
sedIwas
ki
ddi
ng.JJwasl
aughi
ngaswel
l.
Hi
m:We'
l
lbot
hhav
eor
angej
uice,
please.
Joesai
dokayandt
henl
eft
.
Me:
Whati
syourpr
obl
em?
Icont
inuedt
olaugh.
Hi
m: Eksenikangakawenausuf
unananamagi
n?
Hai
bo(It
'stooearl
yforyout
obeorderi
ng
al
cohol)
Me:Ther
esnot
hingwr
ongwi
thdr
inki
ngal
cohol
i
nthemorni
ng.
Hi
m:Youdr
ink?
Me:
Yeah.Butmost
lywi
ne.
Heexhal
edandl
ookedaway
Me:
What
?Youal
sowantmet
ost
opdr
inki
ng?
Hi
m:Nost
handwasami
.Ij
ustwor
rysomet
imes.
Me:
Wor
ry?
Him: Yeah.Yoursi
sterwif
ewasalmost
harassedbecauseshewast oodr
unk.I
fIhad
gottenthere5minuteslat
er.
..
Me:
Wher
ewasshe?
Hi
m:Somegi
rl
sni
ghtout
.2y
ear
sback.
Me: Wel
lIbarel
ydri
nkout
sideofmypl
ace.You
needn'
tworryaboutme.
Him: Look,I
'
m notsay i
ngy oushouldn'
tdrink.I
j
ustwanty out obecareful.Youcandrinkas
muchasy oulikewheny ou'r
ewi t
hmebut
pleasebev i
gilantbaby
.Iwoul dn'
tfor
give
my selfi
fanythingbadeverhappenst oyouand
I
'm nottheretopr ot
ectyou.Itwouldkil
lmei n
fact.
Ismil
ed.Il
ovehowpr ot
ecti
veheisofme.I
assur
edhimthatI
'm neverput
ti
ngmyselfi
na
ri
skofsuchacali
bre.

JJcamebackwit
hourdr
inksandthemenus.
Webothtookasi
pandski
mmedt hrought
o
deci
dewhatwewantt
oeat.Muzit
ookmyhand.
Healway
swantstot
ouchme.Onewayort he
other.Iall
owhi m.Iwasaboutt osaysomet hi
ng
beforeaski nnywomani nstil
ett
osappr oached
ourtable.Shepl acedherLouisVuitt
oncl utch
bagunderherar m andpresseditthere.Herr ed
dresswasshor t
.Tooshor t
.Shehadherey es
onMuzi kayize.Shelookedeverythi
ngbut
i
mpr essed.Shepushedsomehai rofherbob
wigbehi ndherearandf i
nall
yspoke.

Her:
Youcant akeMKoutoft
hef uckboysquad
butyoucannevert
aket
hefuckboyoutofMK
huh?
Muzir
olledhereyesingr
eatannoy
anceand
sai
d"UfunaniAyanda?
Her
:Iam her
etomakesur
ethaty
oudon'
tcheat
onmyfri
end!
Muzi
:Whodiedandmadey
out
heguar
dand
j
ani
torofmymarri
age?
It
ri
edt
aki
ngmyhandoutofMuzi
'
sbuthe
t
ightl
yhel
dontoit
.Thiswomanwasget t
ing
workedupbutMuziwasasusual
,chi
l
led.
Shetookouthercel
l
phone,
dial
l
edandputi
ton
herear
.
Her
:Mabuy
i.GuesswhoI
'
m seei
ngher
e.
Her
:Yourhusband.KwaJoe.Wi
thanot
her
woman.
Her
:Whatdoy
oumeany
ouknow?
Her
:Mabuyiukhulumanami
kanj
alo?I
'
mtr
ying
t
olookoutf
ory ouher
e.
Shewasaboutt ospeakbutitseemedas
thoughthephonehadbeendr oppedonherear
.
Shelookedatthescreen,
appall
ed.
Shet
hinnedhereyestowardsMuziwhowas
l
ooki
ngatme, Iwaslooki
ngather.
Hi
m:Ar
eyoudone?Wi
thy
ourper
for
mance?
Shescof
fedandchar
gedof
f.
Me:
Whatwast
hatal
labout
?
Hi
m:Don'
tmi
ndher
.
Hesai
dandki
ssedmyhand.
Ipul
l
edi
tof
fandr
etr
act
edi
t.
Me:Phakamani
,whatdi
dshemeanwhenshe
sai
dyoucantakeMKoutofthef
uckboysquad
but
..
Hei
nter
ject
ed.
Hi
m:Okayokay
..
Him: She'
sMabuyi
'
sbest fr
iend.They'v
ebeen
fr
iendssincehi
ghschool.Itol
dy ou.Ifucked
aroundwhenIwasaki d.Myf ri
endsandI .
That'
swhatshemeant .Iam notaski r
tchaser.
Trustme.

Joecamebackt
otakeouror
der
.Wehadn'
t
evendeci
dedwhatwewant edtoeat
.Muzijust
tol
dhimtogiv
eust hechef
'schoi
ce.Hetook
themenusandlef
t.Iwasn'
tmadbutIwasno
l
ongerint
hesamespi r
it
sIcameherein.

Wehadourbr eakf astoversmal lt

alk.Ihonest l
y
didnotwantt omakeabi gdeal outofthis.A
wai tr
esscameandcl ear
edt hetable,l
eavingthe
billbehind.Muzi settleditbutstoodupt ot ake
i
tf orth.Heki ssedmycheekandt oldmehe' l
lbe
backi nami nut e.Ijustassumedhewant edt o
hav eaconv er sationwi thhisfri
endwhowasby
thecount er.It ookoutmyphoneonl ytobemet
byast ri
ngoft ext sf r
om Tumi cryingthatev er
sinceI '
vefoundamanI '
vebeennegl ecti
nghi m.
Ilaughedandr eplied.HesentaVNbutMuzi
madehi swayback.I 'l
lli
stentoitwhenweget
home.
HetookmybagandaskedmewhatI 'dliketo
donext.It
oldhimit
'st
imeforthatwalk.He
wantedtotakemeshoppingbutItur
nedhi m
down.Iwasr eal
l
ynoti
nthemood.
Hi
m:Okaybuty
ouneedasunhat
.
Me:
It'
snott
hathot
.
Him:Everhear
dofski
ncancer
?Ult
rav
iol
etray
s
candamagey ourDNAbaby
.Onecanneverbe
toosaf
e.
Me:
YhuuokayMrr
adi
ologi
st.
Hel
aughedandwewentt
ogetast
rawhat
.

Wedr ovebackhome.Hesaidhe'l
l waitf
orme
downstair
sbecauseIwantedtofixmyf ace.
WhenIcameback, hewasn'tt
here.Ilooked
aroundunti
lIheadhi
mr unni
ngdownt hestai
rs.
Hewentt ochangehi
sshoesandputonhi s
sl
ides.Hehasbeauti
ful
cleantoes.I'
mi nlove
wi
thal
lofhi
m.
Hi
m:Your
eady
?
Me:
Readywheny
ouar
e.
Hesmil
edandt ookouttwobottl
esofwater
f
rom t
hefr
idgeandwewal kedout
.Iwonder
wher
eever
y bodyhasdisappear
edto.

Wewal kedoutoft heyardbutusi ngadi ff

erent,
smal l
ergat e,whi chalsohadaguar d.He
openedt hegat ewi thahugesmi leonhi sface.
Him andMuzi fistbumped.Hegr eetedmeas
well.Hewhi stl
edandMuzi whistledbackand
l
aughed.Her eal i
sedIwascur i
ousandsai d
"That'
sBab' Mt hembu.Iusedt ochillwithhim
hereev ery'afterschool' att
hisv erygatewhenI
wasaki d.I'
ml aughingbecauseIt aughthimt he
fi
stbumpandhet aughtmehowt owhi stl
e.I
'd
forgott
enaboutt hewhi stl
e."Hesai daswekept
walking.Slowl y .Il
aughedandt oldhimt oteach
mehowt owhi
stlet
oo.Helaughedatmebut
tr
iedtoteachme.Ikeptbl
owingoutai
rwi
thno
sound.Hecouldn'
tstopl
aughing.
Him:Ifyoudrinkumchamowenkomoekseni
you'
l
linstant
lybecomeapro.(I
fyoudr
inkur
ine
f
rom acowi nt hemorni
ng.
.)
Iexpl
odedi
nlaught
er.Idon'
tbel
i
evet
his.
Hi
m:Hawu.Awungi
khol
wa?(
Youdon'
tbel
i
eve
me?)
Heasked,
sti
l
llaughi
ng.
Me:
Hay
isuka.
Thel andwasgr eenalloverandthegr asswasa
bi
twet .Thebirdswer echir
pingandt hebell
s
aroundt hecows' neckskeptr i
ngi
ng.Hepoi nted
andshowedmet hesoccerfiel
dfrom a
di
stance.I twassopacked.Hesai ditonlygets
packedi nthismannerwhent heboy sare
havingat ournament .Itol
dhimI '
m notgoing
anywher eneari t
.I'
vealreadyseenit.I'
m good.
Helaughedandaskedmewhy .Itol
dhim Ihat
e
packedspaces.Especial
l
yt hosepackedwith
men.HesaidIshouldn'tfeelafr
aidofanyt
hing
whenI'm wi
thhim.Iblushedbutst i
l
lsaidno.

Hesaidokayandwechangedr outesandkept
walki
ng.Webumpedi nto3boy sdressedinaa
soccergear.Theystar
tedcelebrati
ngwhent hey
sawthatit'
shim.Heal solookedhappyt osee
them.Theylookedli
ket heywerebet ween15
and17y earsofage.Theycheer edandsaid
"MK!"
Hi
m:Baf
anaBaf
ana.
Them: Hayihay
i,si
yiLi
ver
pool
thi
na.(
Wear
e
Li
verpool)
Theysai
dastheydustedt
heirshoul
der
sina
fl
ex.Hel
aughed.Icoul
dn'
thelpbutsmi
le.
Him:Wel
ltheRedsbar
elyl
ose.Soy
ouhad
bett
erwi
nthatgame.
Them:
Weneedsomemonet
arymot
ivat
ion.
Theysai
dandt
heyal
ll
aughed,
incl
udi
ngMuz
i.
Him:Ninanemali
.(Yal
l andmoney
)Tel
lyou
what?Winthegamef i
rstandTHENcomeand
col
lect
.
Oneoft
hem:
Howmuch?
Hi
m:2cl
i
ppereach.
Them:
Deal
!
Helaughedandtheysaidt
heirfar
ewell
stothe
bot
hofus.Afterashortdi
stance,oneoft
hem
cal
l
edout .

Hi
m:MK!
!
Muzi
:Yeah?
Hi
m:Pl
easebuyt
het
eam.
Theyal
lsuddenl
ylookedser
iousast
heot
her
s
beganagr
eeingwit
hhim.
Heexhal edandtoldhi
m he'
ll
thi
nkaboutit
.He
smiled.Theysmiledbackandwalkedaway,
tur
ningacor ner
.

Het henturnedtowardsme, pull

edmei nhi
s
armsandcuppedmychi n.Ismiledupathi
m.
Headj ustedmyst r
awhatsohecoul dbeable
tokissme.Heputbot hhishandsonmywai st
,
evenwi ththewaterbott
leinhisonehandand
askedmei fI
'm st
il
lokay.Inoddedandhe
slowlyputhisli
psonmi ne.Wehear dwhist
les
andcheer s.Helookeddown, l
aughedand
swor eunderhisbreat
h.Itwast hosethr
eeboys.
Wet houghtt
heyhadlef
t.Muzikayi
seyel
led
"Snethemba!
"andconti
nuedlaughi
ng.They
l
aughedt ooandranaway.Heshookhishead,
heldmyhandandwecont inuedwalki
ng.

Wecameacr
ossawomanwhowassi
tt
ingby
thesideoft
heroadunderahugeumbr el
l
a.She
hadoneofthosei cecream container
sbyher
side,
asmallcoolerbox,andhadpacked
snacksandfrui
tsont opoffruitboxes.Muzi
askedmewhenl astIhadst reeticecream.I
l
aughedandt ol
dhi m whenIwasaki d.
Hesai d" come"andpul l
edbyhand.Wegott o
herandgr eet ed.Shegr eetedback.Muzi asked
aboutt hepr i
cingofheri cecream.Shesai dR4
fortheconeandR7f orthecup.Muzi askedme
whichoneIwantandIopt edf orthecone
becauseIl ov edeat i
ngi twhenIwasaki d.She
putonherpl asticglov esandscoopedi tforme.
Iaskedf orthest rawber rysauce.Muzi tooki t
andsqueezedi tforme.Heaskedf orthecup.
Sheal soscoopedi tf orhim andgav ehima
smal l
pl asticspoon.Hegav eittomesoIcan
holditwhi lehepay s.Het ookoutoneR200
noteandgav ei ther.Sheaskedust owai tso
shecanqui cklyruni ntothehouset ogetus
change.Muzismil
edandaskedhertokeepi
t.I
fel
linlovewi
ththeamazeddi
sbel
iefonher
face.Ifel
lmor
einlovewit
hMuzi'
ssoul.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t37.

Wet ur
nedbackhomeaf terbuy
ingtheice
cream.Weendedupt al
kingaboutbir
thdays
andotherr
andom stuf
f.Ithenr
emember edthat
heoncepromisedtotel
lmewhathemeant
whenhesaidheneededt ohaveaconv er
sati
on
withhi
sancestor
s.Helaughed.
Hi
m:Youdon'
tfor
getwena.I
'
m notsur
eift
his
i
sagoodorabadtrai
t.
Ichucked.
Hi
m:Idon'
tknowwhethert
osayIwas
t
emporar
il
ydeadorIwasdreami
ng.But
thr
oughoutmyunconsci
ousness,
Iwas
spendi
ngtimewi
thmygr eatgr
andfat
her
.
Me:
Theoney
ou'
renamedaf
ter
?
Hetensedhi
seyebr
owsandaskedmehowI
knowaboutt
his.
Hi
m:Ah.Ofcourse.Whoel
sebuty
ournewl
y
f
oundbest
fri
end,ma.
Il
aughedandnoddedmyheadi
nagr
eement.
Him:Toanswery ourquesti
on,yes.Hewas
explai
ninghowthiswholearrangement
betweeny ouandIcameabout .Eventhoughi
t
doesn'tfeel
li
keanarrangement.
Hesay sandsmil
es.Hissmil
emakesmel ose
al
lsense.Especi
all
yift
hat
'swhathe'
sint
endi
ng
ondoing.
Me:
And?
Him:Andgui
dingmeonhowt
obeaf
air
pol
ygamousman.
Allthi
ssoundssosur r
eal
.Li
steni
ngt ohim
speakingaboutspeaki
ngtothedeadl i
keit
's
normal.Iwould'
vewokenupf r
om thatICUbed
screamingandfreaki
ngout.

Me:
Hewasal
soapol
ygamousman?
Hi
m:Yeah.
Hesaidandki
ssedthebackofmyhand.The
i
cecream wasdone.
Me:
Howmanywi
vesdi
dhehav
e?
Helaughedoutl
oudandaskedmei
fIr
eal
l
y
wannaknow.Isai
dyes.
Hi
m:El
even.
Ipoppedmyey
es.
Me:
Asi
ntenpl
usone?
Hebur
stoutl
aughi
ng.
Hi
m:Yeah.I
fmybasi
cmat
hemat
icsst
il
lser
ves
mewel
l
.
Me:
I'
dleav
eyou.
Him:Iknow.That
'
swhyI
'
m nev
ert
aki
ngt
hat
chance.
Welaughedandstoodunderat
ree.I
twasnow
ar
oundmi ddayandi
twashot.

Heraisedhist-shir
tandwipedhi
ssweat.His
bushmansunhatf ell
andhungonhisneckby
thest
ring.Ireal
isedIwasbiti
ngmylowerli
p
andimmedi atel
ystopped.Hesmil
edandthen
l
aughed.
Him:Youknowyoucanal
way
stouchr
ight
?
Thi
sisyourpr
oper
ty.
Heappr
oachedmeandpull
edmetowardshi
m
bymywaist
.Hesl
owlyki
ssedmyli
psand
whi
sper
ed"All
ofi
t"
.Thi
swasenoughtocause
afl
ood.
Hi
m:Let
'sgohomeandr
est
.Thi
sdayi
snoty
et
ov
er.
Westil
lhaveadi nnert
ogot o.Hepi
ckedmeup
wit
houtwarningandIscreamed.Helaughed
andkeptwalkingwithmeinhisarms.Iasked
hi
mt oputmedownbecauseIwasaf raidwe'
d
bumpintopeople.HeslowlydidasI
'v
easked
andfi
xedhist-shir
t.

Wewalkedhomeandbumpedint
oMbuso.He
waspul
li
ngouthi
ssui
tcase.
Muzi
:Hawu.Uy
ahambanj
alo?
(You'
rel
eav
ing?
)
Mbuso:
Eishy
eah.Dut
ycal
l
s.
Hesai
dashewenti
ntohughi
sbr
other
.
Muzi:Soyouwer
egonnal
eav
ewi
thoutsay
ing
goodbye?
Hecameandgav
emeabr
iefhugbutdi
dn'
t
l
ookatme.
Mbuso:
Ihonest
lydi
dn'
twantt
oint
err
upty
our
t
imewit
hyourwife.
Muzi l
ookedconfusedbutdidnotargue.I
excusedthem andwentupstairstot
akea
shower.Iwassun-burntandfeeli
ngall
sort
sof
toast
ed.

Iwal kedintot hebathroom butIhadtopeefi

rst
.
I'
m al waysexhaust edwhenI '
m onmyper i
od.I
remov eallmymake- upandt akeoffal
lmy
clothesf oraqui ckshower.Iwalkbackint
othe
bedr oom af t
erI'
m done.Iputonakneel engt
h
freef l
owi ngflor
aldressandslipper
s.It
hen
combmyhai randheadoutt ogof i
ndMuzi.

Ican'tf
indhi
m anywhere.Iwal
kint
otheTV
room andfi
ndmawat chi
ngcart
oons,
pagi
ng
throughamagazine.Iwonderwheret
hechi
ef
al
waysisintheaft
ernoon.It
akeaseatont
he
couchandhesit
atetospeak.
Her
:Looki
ngf
orhubbydear
est
?
Shesay
sandsmi
l
es.Ismi
l
eback,
embar
rassed.
Her
:Hetookhi
sbrot
hertot
heai
rpor
t.Hemust
bemaki
nghiswaybackbynow.
Me:Alr
ight.Iwasj
ustwonder
ingwher
ehe'
d
di
sappearedto.

Iturnt owardst heTVscr eenandt rytohidemy

beingsur priseatwhatshe' swat ching.Thiswas
mostdef i
nitel
yaf ailedatt
emptbecauseshe
endedupsay i
ng" What ?cartoonsar equite
therapeutic.They '
regoodf orunwi nding
and( sheraisesheri ndexfinger),
they '
reagood
antidoteforov ert
hinking,whi chi
st heleading
causeofdepr ession"
Il
aughandassur
ehert
hatIbel
i
eveshehasa
poi
nt.

Shelaughsandwal ksoutoft her oom.Shethen

comesbackwi thaj ugofcr anber ryj
uicewi
th
tonsoficeandt wogl assesonawoodent r
ay.
Sheasksmet ofollowherout side.Wegett o
theverandaandsheput sthet rayonthetable
outsi
de.Ipull
outachai randshesay sshe'
l
lbe
backinasecond, walkingbacki ntot
hehouse.
Shecomesbackwi thherphoneasIwas
pouri
ngust hejuicei ntothegl asses.

Shetakeshersandsubsequentl
yherseat.I
al
sohav emineandseatbackandlistentoher
complaini
ngabouthowhotitis,
agreeingwit
h
her
.Itreal
lyi
shot.
Her
:Mydar
li
ng.
Icanal
readytel
lthatshenolongerwantsto
tal
kabouttheweatherbythetoneinhervoi
ce.
Her:Whenareyouplanni
ngongetti
ngmar r
ied?
Idon'
tmeantopr yt
rustme.I
'mjustaski
ng
fr
om aconcernedmother'
shear
t.
Me:
Soonma.Ipr
omi
se.
Her
:I'
m del
i
ght
edt
oheart
hat
.
Shesay
s,wi
thasmi
l
eonherf
ace.
Me:Apar
tofmewant
stogetmar
ri
edaf
ter
Mabuy
igi
vesbi
rt
h.
Her
:Howconsider
ateofyou!Ihav
eagood
f
eel
ingabouty
outwo.There'
sreal
lynor
eason
t
ofi
ght.
Ijustkeepqui
etandsmi
l
e.Idon'
tknowhowt
o
replytothi
s.

Shewasaboutt
osaysomethi
ngunt
ilwehear
d
Muziy
ell
i
nginthehouse.
Hi
m:Baby
!Ukephi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?
)
Me:
Inher
e!!
Shethent
urnedtomeandsmi l
edsayi
ng"
The
twoofyouarei
nsepar
abl
e".Il
aughed.
Him:I
nherekuphikul
esthabat
haba
sendl
u?(
..
.wher
einthi
slargehouse?
)
Welaughedandl
efthi
mtocont
inuewi
thhi
s
sear
ch.
Hefinall
yfoundus.Heki
ssedhismotheronthe
cheekandpeckedmyl i
ps.Iwasuncomfort
able
wit
hhi m doi
ngthi
sinfr
ontofhi
smot her
.

Hi
m:Ni
hlebangami
?(Gossi
pingaboutme?
)
Ma:
Womenbar
elydi
scussbr
okemen.
Il
aughedoutloud.Hehel
dhischestasi
fhe
wasexper
iencingaphysi
cal
painonhishear
t.
Hishandwentinbet
weenhislegstryi
ngtopul
l
achairfr
om behi
ndhi
m butmast oppedhim
andtoldhimtogobath.Hel
aughedbutgotthe
messageandl
eft
.

Ma:Sphakamil
e?I
'
m grat
efulf
ort
heloveIsee
i
ll
uminat
ingfr
om y
oureyesformyson.He'
s
evengl
owing.
Imel t
ed!Ialwayshearst
ori
esabouthowmost
mot hersi
nlawmakei tami ssi
ontodestroy
yoursoulbutmy sel
f?Ihavehitthemother-
in-
l
awj ackpot.Il
oveher.Il
oveherspir
it
.Hercalm
aura.
Me:Thankyouma.I
'
m al
sogr
atef
ulf
orhowhe
l
ovesmet oo.
Her:YouremindmesomuchofmewhenIf i
rst
fel
li
nlovewithKhumalo.WhenIf i
rstf
oundout
hehasawi f
e,Idi
dn'twantany
thingtodowi t
h
him.Buthesoldi
eredonandrefusedtotakemy
noforananswer.
Me:
Soundsf
ami
l
iar
.
Isai
dandwel
aughed.

Wecont i
nuedt al
king,si
ppi
ngandl aughing.The
ti
mewasnowar ound4.Igotupandt ol dherI
neededt ouset heloo.Shepackedupt he
glassesandal sosai dherf
lowersneed
attenti
on.Ili
ed.Ididnotneedt heloo.Ineeded
theboo.Imi ssedmymanl ikeIhav en'tseen
himi naweek.Bef or eshewalkedintot he
house, sheturnedt omeandsai d"And
Sphakami le,st
opbei ngsouptightaroundy our
man.Ownhi m andhi sdamnbody .Goddanni t"

Il
aughedhar derthanIprobablyshoul d'
ve
becauseIdidnotexpectt hisatall.Howev er
,i
t
waslikeshehadpour eddi eseloverar i
singfi
re.
Iranupthest ai
rsandwentupt ohi sroom.It
wasopen.Hewassi tt
ingont heedgeofhi sbed
buri
edinhislaptop.Hedidn'tev enseeme
comei n.Hetookhismother'
sinstr
ucti
onand
i
ndeedt ookabath.Hewaswear ingkhaki
short
sandhewast opl
ess.Hisunderwearwas
showing.You'dswearhe'
sanambassadorf or
Calv
inKl ei
n.Healsohadablacktowelaround
hi
sneck.

Islowlyclosedthedoorandlockedi
t.Her
aised
hiseyes,smi l
edatmewi t
houtshowi
nghis
teethbutdidn'tmove.
Him:I
sthi
sthepar
twher
eIsaymyl
astwor
ds
andhowmuchIlovemymother
?
Il
augh.He'
sbei
ngani
mbeci
l
e.Asal
way
s.
Heput
shi
slapt
opasi
dewhenIf
inal
l
ygett
o
hi
m.
Igetont opofhi
m andsitast
ride,
wrappingmy
l
egsar oundhiswai
st.Helookedsurpri
sedbut
pleasedatthesametime.Andcurious.
Heheldandsqueezedmyassandki ssedme.
Hemust n'tdarehij
ackt hi
s.Imaybeonmy
peri
odsbutt hatdoesn'tmeanIcan' tdoot her
thi
ngs.Theonl ythi
ngIhadnocl ueaboutwas
penetr
ation.Thankst omyexes, Ihav eabitof
experi
encewhencomi ngtootherthings.Of
coursetheytaughtmehowt opleaset hem i
fI
can'
tgivethem thecooki e,
andt hereforeto
compensat eforthat.Sotheseskill
sar egoing
tocomei nhandyr ightnow.

Wecont i
nuedkissing.Icouldfeel
hisgr
owing
becauseIwassi t
ti
ngr ightontopofhi
sbulge.I
gotoffhi
m andinst r
uctedhimt ol
aybackasI
unbutt
onedhisshor ts.Theshockonhisface
whenIkneltdownwi thbothmykneesis
i
ndescri
bable.
Hi
m:Babywhatar
eyoudoi
ng?Ar
eyousur
e
aboutt
his?
Heprobabl
ythi
nksI
'
mint
hemoodt
o
exper
iment
.
Ibl
ushandnodmyhead.Onl
ythendoeshel
ay
back.

(
Remov
ed)
Whenhef
inal
l
ycomposedhi
msel
f.
.
Hi
m:Babywhatt
hef
uckwast
hat
?
Me:
Thest
art
er.Ar
ewest
il
lon?
Helaughedandr
epl
i
ed"
Yes.
"Iwasr
efer
ri
ngt
o
ourdi
nner.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t38.

Thi
sdressisbeauti
ful
.Andt
heseshoes?Gosh.
Iwonderi
fhe'
st heonewhopickedoutal
lof
t
hese.I
fyes,
thenI
'
mver
yimpr
essed.

Ithi
nkt omy selfasIst andinf r
ontofthemi r
ror
admiringmy self.Thedr essisred,l
ongandan
open-back.Pairedwi thblacksuedeblockhi l
ls.
Myhai risgluedandl ai
d.Myf aceisbeat.The
dresshugsmybodyper fect
ly.AndIam happy .I
l
ockey eswithmyr efl
ecti
onont hemirrorfora
minutebef orebringingthebot hofustoasmi l
e.
Wear ebot hstunnedbywhatweseei neach
other
.

Ihadmyhandsonmyhi pswhenIhear dma

screamingformet ocomedownalready.Muzi
i
ssur el
ydone.Iwonderwherehe'
stakingme.I
thinkasIkeepbrushi
ngall
myhairtositonthe
frontofmyleftshoul
der
.

It
aket
hebl
ackandshi
nycl
utchbagpl
acedf
or
meont hebed, throwmyphoneandaf ew
necessiti
esi nitbef oreheadi ngout .Icaref
ull
y
walkdownt hest air
sandsuddenl yhearcheers
andululati
ons.Ev er
ybody ,i
ncludingallthe
helpswasdownst air
swai ti
ngf orme.Thi s
mademef eel shyandcausedmet oblush.The
chiefwasnott her e.Luckily
,becauseI 'm afr
aid
ofhim.Hi spr esencewoul d'vejustmademe
mor enervous.Muzi hadt hewi destsmi l
eonhis
facewithhi shandsi nhispocket s.Hewas
l
ookingal ltypesofdapperi nabl acksuit.Ma
hadbot hherhandsov ermout h.Hert earyeyes
aregoingt or uinmymake- upbecauseIcanf eel
i
tcomi ng.Theur getocr ytoo.

MuziheldouthishandwhenIr eachedthe
secondlastst
epont hestai
rs.Itookit
.He
sl
owlyturnedmear oundandIobl i
ged.He
wantedtosaysomet hi
ngbutshookhi shead
i
nstead.Hecouldn'
tstopblushing.A
whol
e,
ent
ir
eMuzikayi
seKhumal
oisspeechl
ess?
Howthemight
yhavefal
l
en.

Ma:
Ist
hisy
ou?
Shesai
dandgi
ggl
ed.
Il
aughedandnodded.
Ma:Yourmotherwassur
elyt
aki
ngher
pr
egnancyv
itamins
MuziandIl
aughedoutl
oud.Shewipedthe
backcamer
aofherphonewithdr
essand
i
nsist
edontaki
ngmepictur
es.Af
tershewas
done.
..
Hi
m:You'
rer
eady
?
Ismi
l
edandsai
d"Yes"
.
Hebenthi
sarm andwecr
osshel
d.Isai
dby
eto
ev
eryoneaswewentout
.
Heopenedt hecardoorf ormeandIwenti n.He
madesur ethetailofmydr esswaswholly
i
nsidethecarbef orecl
osingthedoor.Hethen
cameanddr oppedhi sweightonthedriv
er'
s
seat.Helookedatmeonceandl oosenedhisti
e.
Ilaughedandhebl ewairintohi
sfacetoshow
thathewasf eel
inghot.
Him: Icannev
ergetusedtohowbeaut
if
ul y
ou
aresthandwasami
.You'r
earealgem.Asight
forsoreeyes.
Me:
Thanky
oubaby
.
Icoul
dn'
tst
opbl
ushi
ng.

Hest artedthecaranddroveout .Hewas

dri
vingwi thonehandont hesteeringwheel
and
tr
yingt oplayasongonhi sphonewi tht
heother
.
Musa' sNomkhi t
hastar
tedplaying.
Ndi
bet
hwal
uval
oxandi
bonawena
Andi
sakwazi
nokuzi
bamba
Ndi
ncumakakhul
uxandi
bonawena
Andal
indi
yoy
ikaukut
het
hanawe
KodwaSphakami
l
ekhawundni
k'i
thuba
Ndi
thet
henawe

Ndy
akcel
amamel
a(x2)
Ngawendy
azi
fel
a(x2)
Khawul
ezasondel
a(x2)
Ndi
kthand'
okwempel
a(x2)
Muzi
kazi
hihi
hii
i
ihi
i
ii(
x2)
Iexpl
odedinfi
tsoflaughterwhenhechanged
"Nomkhit
hakazit
oMuzi kazi"
.Helaughedt
oo
butcont
inuedsi
nging.
Buy
andi
phambani
s'ubuhl
ebakho
I
ntl
i
iyoy
am i
gcwel
'ut
handol
wakho
I
inkomozi
khona,
baph'
abazal
ibakho
Ndi
zi
misel
'ukbangumy
eni
wakho.

Thismani shonest l
ytry
ingt omakemyhear t
explodet oday.Iblushedandl ookedathi
m.His
l
ipssaid" Ngiyakthanda".Amessagef rom t
hem
tomyey esinsteadofear s.Iwhisper
edand
said"Il
ov ey outoo".Het ookmyhandand
kissedthebackofi t.

Me:Howcomey
ourXhosapr
onunci
ati
oni
sso
good?
Hesmil
edandsaidhi
schi
l
dhoodbestf
ri
end,
Mandl
aisXhosa.
Me:
Theoney
ouwer
efucki
ngar
oundwi
th?
Hel aughedoutl
oudandsai
dhe'snotgoingt o
dignif
ymyquestionwi
thananswer.Ilaughed,
shookmyheadandl ookedoutt
hewi ndow.

Wegott owhatwouldlooklikeanor malpark

duri
ngt hedaybutnowl ooki
ngl i
kear omantic
hotspot.Itwasabitdarkbuttherewer el
it
tl
e
l
ightsont hegrassal
ongwi thpetal
sofwhi t
e
roses.Het ookmyhandandwewal kedtoa
whitetablewithtwochairst
owar dsthecentre.
Therewasat r
uckandgr oupofpeopl eata
dist
ancemov i
ngupanddown, busy.Hepulled
outachai randsaid"
Mi'l
ady? "
Ismil
edandt ookmyseat .Hewentov ertotake
hist
oo.Therewasabouquetofr edroseson
thecent
reofthetable,accompany i
ngpl at
es
andchampagneandwi neglasses.Het ookout
thechampagnef r
om abucketofi ce,heldthe
bott
om ofthebottleandpouredjustther i
ght
amountint
ot heglasses.
Iwassti
l
lbedazzl
edbywhatmyey
eswer
e
seei
ng.
Hi
m:Youl
i
kei
t?
Me:
DoIl
i
kei
t?Il
ovei
t.
Isai
dasIl
ookedaround.Hetookoffhi
sjacket
andhungi
tonthebackrestofhi
schair
.
Me: Whendi
dyouplant
hiswi
thoutme
suspect
ingi
tany
thi
ng?
Hi
m:I
'
m amanofmanyt
alent
sbaby
.
Hesaidwi
thasmi
rkonhi
sface.Ismi
l
ed.He
sur
eis.

Itookasipoft hechampagneandTy rese

Gibson'
s'Bestofme' star
tedpl
aying.Icouldn'
t
seewherethemusi cwascomi ngf r
om.We
conti
nueddrinking,
talki
ngandlaughing.Or
shouldIsayhewast heonetel
l
ingmeobv ious
l
iesandIwasdoi ngallthel aughi
ngov erdinner.
Wheni twastimefordesser t
,hesaidhecan' t
haveanybecausehe' sal l
er gi
ctonut saft
ert he
It
alianchefwasdoneexpl ainingwhathisdi sh
entail
s.Heapol ogi
zedpr ofuselybutMuzi
assuredhi mthatiti
sokay .Hecontinuedhav ing
hischampagneashewat chedmeeatandl ick
myspoonwi t
hmyey esonhi m.Hist i
ewasst il
l
l
oosear oundhisneck.Icoul dn'
tpronouncet he
nameoft hedishbutthatdi dnotstopmef rom
enjoyingit.

Muzi l
ookedbehi ndhim andsi gnalledt ooneof
thechiefstoturndownt hemusi c.Theydi das
i
nstructedandhegotup.Whati shedoi ng?He
tookoutabl ackv el
vetboxf r
om hi spocketand
gotonhi sknees.Ifeltl
ikescreami ng.Whati s
hedoingbecauseI '
vealreadyagr eedt o
marryinghim?Ilookedawayandcont inued
l
aughingl i
keani mbecil
ewi thmyl efthandover
mymouth.Thepeoplecamecloserandaswe
al
lknowandexpect,
theladi
eswer escr
eaming.
HeopenedtheboxandIcouldn'
tbeli
evethe
di
amondrockthatwasplacedbeforeme.

Him: Sthandwasami .Bambol wan.I siphosam

es'phumakudl ozi l
ami (
Mygi ftfrom my
ancest ors).Ilovedy ouf r
om thev er
yf ir
st
momentIl aidmyey esony ou.I twasasi f
somet hingwaswhi spering"That '
sher "intomy
ears.Iknowy ouwi shwehadmetunder
differ
entci rcumst ancesbutnot ruelov eis
withouthur dl esandobst acles.Youi nspi r
eme
tobeabet termant hanIwasy esterday .Hour
s
feel l
i
kemi ll
isecondswhenI 'm withy ou.Idon't
hav ethepowert ost opti
mebuti fIdid, Iwoul
d
somoment sbetweeny ouandIcoul dl ast
forever.ButIal sodon' twantt o.Idon' twant
ti
met ost opbecauseIwantt ocr eatemor e
memor iesandgr owol dwi t
hy ou.Mymai n
purposenowistomakeandkeepy ouhappy
.
Pleaseal
lowandgrantmethatchanceby
makingmakingmet hehappi
estmanaliv
e.
Mar r
yme?

Ouraudi
encekeptcheeri
ngandscr eami
ngfor
metosayyes.Ifonl
ytheyknewt hatIdi
dthata
l
ongtimeago.Butnow,myt onguewast i
ed.
Hi
m:Uy
avumanoma?I
'
m get
ti
ngacr
ampher
e.
Il
aughed,wipedmytearsandsaid"
Yes!I'
ll
marr
yy ouMuzikay
ise!
"Hesl i
ppedt
heringon
myfinger
,gotupandspanwi thmeinhisarms.
Heputmedownandki ssedmepassionat
ely,
wi
thhishandsonhisfav our
it
espot
,mybut t
.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
*
Ihaven'ttoldmymom t hatI'
m off
ici
all
y
engaged.Hel lshedi
dn'tevenknowIwasi na
dif
ferentpr ovi
nce.Butsheneedst oknow.
Beforeev erybodyelse.WhichiswhyIhav et
o
gohomet hisweekend.Itookmyov erni
ghtbag
towor k.Fridaysarebarelyhect
icsoIknewt hat
Iwaspr obabl ygoingtobeoutofher eby
midday .

Ithit14h00.Iwr appedev eryt

hingupandwent
straightt
othet axitank.Isatnextt osomeguy
whowoul dnotst opt al
ki
ngandaski ngmeout .
Menar epuzzlingcr eatures.Whet heryouhav ea
ringony ourfingerorahugepr egnancybump
theypr et
endt obecompl etel
yblindand
cont i
nuehitt
ingony ou.Theyjustdon' tcare.He
askedf ormynumberandIgav ehi m Yise'
s.I
nowknowi tbyhead.
Igotoffbef
orehim andwal kedhome.Icoul d
hearthenoi
seandbi ckeri
ngf r
om thecornerof
theyard.Whatonearthisgoingon?Ir ushedto
thegateandholyMar y,
themot herofJesus
j
ustcouldn'
twait.Whatismydaddoi nghere?
Howdi dheevenf i
ndus?

Ma:Nt
swelekamot
seMol
oi!
!(Getoutofmy
yar
dMoloi
)
Dad:I'
m notgoi
ngany
wher
eunt
ilIseemy
daughter
.
Ma:Cany
ouspel
lthewor
ddaught
er!
?Bl
oody
hel
l
!!
Sheturnedt hest
opperonthehosepi peand
shotwat erathi
m.Hekeptducki ngbuthe
wasn'trunningevent
houghhewasdr ippingwet.
Every
bodyhadcomeoutoft heirhousest osee
what'
sgoi ng.Ij
ustst
oodatt hegatewi t
hNt at
e
Sit
hole,whowasal soshockedattheci r
cus
thatwastaki
ngpl aceinmymot her
'syard.She
waslivi
dandf uri
ous.Iwouldn'tbesurpr
isedif
shestart
edspi t
ti
ngfireandhadsmokecomi ng
outofherears.Thebot hofthem didn'
teven
seemest andingthere.

Dad:
Viol
etpl
ease!
!IknowIhav
en'
t.
.
Her
:Youknownot hi
ngstl
ael
akewena(
..
.You
f
ool
).Jyweetni
x!!Fokol
!!
Hewasaboutt osayanot herwor dwhenmy
motherinterj
ectedandsai d"Ihav en'tchanged
Sam.Ev enabi t
.IknowIl ookl i
keherbutIam
notVivi
anwhosef eeli
ngsy ouusedt otrample
andstompon.ThesameVi oletthatusedt o
smacky ourstupidbigheadbacki nthedayi s
sti
l
lthev erysameVi ol
etthatwi l
l staby ourashy
butt
ockst oday!
!DONOTTESTME!IWI LLKILL
YOUYOUSLI MYBUSTARD! !"
UNEDI
TED.
Fort
hosewhoareconf
usedwi
thr
egar
dtowho
SamuelMol
oii
s..
.

"Mydadi snotwhaty ou'dcal ladeadbeatbutI

doubtany bodywoul dsober lynomi nat
ehi mi n
'
Fatheroft heyear'awar dsshoul dtheyexist.He
hasot herkidsbutnoneofusl i
vewi t
hhi m.I've
beenget ti
nganal lowancef rom him sinceI
fi
nishedhi ghschool butInev erreal
lyspend
ti
mewi thhim.Heoncecal ledandaskedt hat
wegof oricecream y ear sbackbutIendedup
beingsentbackhomebecausehehadmeta
l
adydur i
ngourdat e.Ist il
lfi
ndsol aceinthef act
thathecar edenought oaccompanymet ot he
taxirankbutInol ongerwast emybr eathtrying
tobui l
dapr operrelationshipwi t
hhi m.Notal l
ofuscanhav ethat .Him andmom don' tget
along.Shesay sshehasnev erli
kedhim, evenat
fi
rstsight."
Thi
sisi
nthebr
iefIpost
edaf
teri
nser
t1.
I
nser
t39.

Aftersomanyy ear s?Why ?Whywoul dhenow

suddenlywanttobeapar tofmyl i
fe?
Idon't
understand.Al
lthesequest ionsarefl
oati
ngin
myheadaweekl ater.Ihaven'tt
oldMuziabout
myf ather'
satt
empt edrei
ncarnati
onbackinto
myl i
fe.Ikeepmyheadgl uedt otheoutsi
deas
heplay swit
hmyt highwithhisotherhandon
thesteeri
ngwheel .
Hi
m:Baby
?Isev
ery
thi
ngokay
?
If
akeasmi
l
eandnod.
Helooksatmedubiousl
ybutdoesn'
tpursue
thi
sfurt
her
.ButIknowhehasn'
tleti
tto.He'
s
goi
ngtobringi
tupatsomepoint.
Wear eonourwayt oJohannesbur g.Thebr aai
or"youngchillas"ashecal l
sitisfinall
y
happening.Hewant edtoinvit
eal lhisfri
ends
andcolleaguesbutMabuy isaidal otofguests
aregoingtoov erwhelm her.Iwasal sonoti n
favourofthrowi ngahuget hi
ng.Heendedup
sayingwe'regangi nguponhi m.Onl yhi s
brother
s,hisbestf r
iendandt heirplusonesar e
goingtobet her e.Iredi
rectedmyt houghtsto
myweddi ng, whi chtheplannerisal ready
breathi
ngdownmyneckf orameet i
ng.

Hedroveintohisyar
dandeverybodywas
al
readyheredoingupanddowns, except
Mbuso.Hepar kedandwemadeourwayout .A
cutel
ightski
nnedwomanwal kedandwar med
uptome.
Her
:Hey
yyy
.You'
ref
inal
l
yher
e.
YesIam butwhoar
eyou?It
houghtt
omy
sel
f
asshecameinf
orahug.Ihuggedherback.I
don'
tknowwhyt
hisawkwardforme.
Her
:Mxxexcusemybadmanner
s.Mi
nenhl
e.
Manqoba'
swif
e.
Sheextendedherhandf orahandshake.I
greet
edherback.Sheissobeaut if
ul!Idon'
t
knowifherpregnancyisexaggerat
ingthisbutI
wouldn'tmi
ndwat chi
ngherallday.Andshe's
sojoll
y.Herbumpi ssmallbutImanagedt o
feeli
twhenwewer ehugging.
Me:
It'
sapl
easur
etomeety
ou.
Shesmil
edandaskedmei fmylashesar
e
ext
ended.Il
aughedshy
lyandsaidno.
Her
:Youl
i
e!!
Manqobacametomeforarushedhugandsai
d
"
Koti
".Hegul
pedhi
sbeerandlef
tbefor
eIcoul
d
r
espond.O-
kay.
Mabuyiwassitt
ingonacampchairoutsi
de.
ShebentherheadsoIcouldseebecauseEnhl
e
wasobscuringhervi
ew.Shesmil
edandr ai
sed
herhand.Ismil
edbackandwavedback.
Enhl
e:Hamb'uyobonaumnakwenubutplease
comeandhelpmei nsi
dethehouse
mus'uqedi
l
e.(Goseeyoursi
sterwi
fe.
..when
you'
redone)
Shesaidandf i
xedt hestanceofherbrawi thhe
l
efthand.HerZul ucli
cksaresodeep.Thi s
womanhascur vesfordays.Shewasdr essed
i
nal ongblackdresswi t
hsl i
tsthatgoupt oher
kneesonbot hhersides.Shel ookssoinnocent
andlovi
ng.Whywoul dManqobawantt ocheat
onsuchabeaut ifulwoman?Men.

IwalkovertoMabuyi
whowasnowonher
phone.Shewaswearinganoversi
zedwhi t
et-
shi
rtandleggi
ngsandhadblackhalfsockson.
Sher
aisesherheadwhenshenot
icesme.
Her
:Mf
azi
kabae
Shesays,
smil
esandputsherj
uiceont
he
bever
agehol
dingcompar
tmentonherchai
r.
Il
aughandsay"Hey
".Therewasanot
herchai
r
nextt
oher.It
akeaseat.
Her
:Unj
an?
Me:Nohowareyou?Muzit
ell
smey
oucoul
dn'
t
st
opvomit
ingt
hismorni
ng.
Isay
.I'
m genui
nel
yconcer
ned.
Her
:I'
mfi
nenow.Ij
usthat
ehi
mforconv
inci
ng
metocomeher
e.
Me: Er
r..I'
mtheonewho'ssupposedt
orecei
ve
thatpunishment
.Iaskedhi
mt oaskyouto
come.
Shegav
easubt
lesmi
l
e.
Her
:Iappr
eci
atet
hat
.
Ismilebackandt el
lherI'
m neededint hehouse.
Shecompl ai
nsabouthav i
ngtobel eftalone
outside.Theguy sareprobablyattheback
becauset hat'
swher eMQandMKdi sappeared
to.Istandandt akeherhandsi ntominesoshe
canst and.Shedoes, t
houghwi thgreateffor
t.

Wewal kint
ot hehouseandf indEnhlewi th
anotherwoman.Thewomanhadherhands
deepi nabowl mari
nati
ngt hemeat .Enhlewas
sl
icingthecucumberonachoppi ngboar d.I
greettheladyandshei ntroducesher sel
fas
Bridgett
e.She'sMandla'swi f
e.Speaki ngof
Mandl a,hewal ksi
nwear ingav estandbeach
shortsdragginghisfl
ipflops.
Hi
m:Baby
,Ineedamat
chboxoral
i
ght
er.
Hesay
s,di
rect
ingt
hist
oBr
idget
te.
Mabuyi
:Buzamina.Angit
hiy
ikwam lana.
Awubul
isi
nok'
buli
sa.(Askme.Isn'
tthi
smy
house?Youdi
dn'
tev
engr
eet
)
Shescoldsasshel i
mpstowardsadrawer.She
takest
hebr aaili
ghterandgi
vesittohi
m and
says"Mi!
".Hel aughsandapologi
zes.Hegreet
s
mepassivelyandwal ksout,
walkingpastMuzi
whocomespl ayingwit
hhiscarkey.

Mabuy isayssheneedstoli
edownandt riesto
getupt hestai
rs.Muziqui
ckl
ygetstoherand
offer
stohelpherup.Shesay sshe'
llmanage
buthe'snothearinganyofi
t.Shedoesn'
tlook
okay,atall
.Icanalsosensetheconcer
nar ound
thesewomen' sfaces.

Aft
erthey'
regone,
Bridgett
e'seyeswere
danci
ngbetweenmeandherbowl ofmeat.She
wantedtosaysomet hi
ng.Igavehera
questi
oni
nglooktr
yingmybestnott olookrude.
Her
:CanIasky
ouaquest
ion?
Me:
Shoot
.
Enhl
ehadherey
esonusi
nwonder
.
Br
idget
te:
Howdot
hebot
hofy
oudoi
t?
Me:
Dowhat
?
Her:Shar
eamanandst
il
lbeabl
etobeci
vi
l
wit
heachother
.
Iexhal
ed.
Me:I.
..Idon'
tknow.I
t'
scompli
cated.I
'
m st
il
l
t
ryi
ngt ogetagrasponitmy
self
.
Thelookonherf
acetel
lsmethatthi
sisnot
j
ustaquesti
onaskedfr
om aplaceofmere
cur
iosi
ty.
Me:
Why
?
Shethenlooksaroundhert
ochecki
fther
e's
anybodyapproachi
ngorbehi
nd.
Her:
Myhusbandi
mpregnat
edanot
herwoman
andexpect
smetowel
comeherinourhome
l
i
keshebr
ingsgoodf
ait
h.
Enhl
e:Isthembuney i
babymommaar e
completelydi
ff
erentthi
ngs.Iwoul
dn'
tandI
won'
tacceptababymommasl ashsi
dechi
ck
i
ntomyhousemi na!
Shesaidthi
swi t
hsomuchaggr essi
onholdi
ng
herknif
eint
ot heai
r.Thesweet
heartisal
so
showingpsychoredflags.

Bri
dgettewaster
rif
ied.Shethencal mlyand
sl
owlysaid"Okay.Okay.Puttheknifedown",
tr
yingtotaket
hekni f
efrom her.Enhleexhal
ed
anddroppedherhighchest.Shet henheldon
ti
ghtl
ytotheknif
eanddr oppedherf istt
othe
bl
ackmar blet
abletop.
Enhl
e:I
'
m sor
ry.I
'
mjust
..

Mbusowal
kedi
nlooki
ngl
i
kehehadj
ustar
ri
ved.
Hi
m:San'
bonani
.
Us:
Hel
l
o.
Icouldn'
thelpbutnot i
cet hatBri
dgett
e's"
Hel l
o"
wasdr apedi nfl
irtsaucesspr i
nkledwit
hcr ush
spices.Shewasbusybl ushingtothemeati n
thebowl ,
tryi
ngt oohar dtoconceal asmile.
Mbusowal kedpastusandwentt ol
ookforthe
men.Muzi walkeddownt hest ai
rsinavest,
shortsandsl i
des.

Enhl
e:Howi
sshe?
Him:Shesaysherr
ightl
egi
spainf
ul.Shealso
sai
dsomethi
ngaboutTonyBraxt
onsomet hing
somethi
ng.
Us:
TONYBRAXTON!
?
Hi
m:Yes.Somet
hingaboutcont
ract
ions.
Me:
BRAXTONHI
CKS!
!
Br
idget
teandEnhl
eexpl
odedi
nfi
tsofl
aught
er.
Hi
m:Yeah.That
.
Aft
erthelaught
erevapor
ated,
Enhleaskedin
concern,
"Shoul
dn'
twemay betakehertothe
hospit
al?
"
Him:Wewereonthephonewi thherdoct
or.
Shesayst
hey'
renor
mal .Mabuyial
sosaid
they
'r
enott
hathect
ic.Shejustwantstonap.
Bri
dget
te:Tr
ue.They'
recal
l
edf
alsel
abourpai
ns.
Iwentt
hroughthesame.
Him: Hayi
that'
smycue.Ithingin'shi
yemi na
beforeyoustarttal
ki
ngaboutthingsthat'
l
l
permanentlybl
ockanddamagemyear s.(Let
mel eaveyou..
.)
Wel
aughedandhewentout
.

UNEDITED. (Thecont
inuat
ionmi
ghtbe
post
edtoni
ght
.)
I
nser
t40.
Thelaught erf
r om themenout si
decr eepedinto
andfil
l
edt hehouse.Thesamewasn' ttr
uefor
occupantsi nkitchen.Thesewomenwer e
speaki
ngaboutt hedifficul
tythatcomesasa
tagatt
achedt omar r
iage.Ifallofthiswasa
tel
evi
sionbr oadcast ,itwouldbeexpect edtobe
ThePer f
ectSi sheboshow.Buti nsteadandon
thecompl etecont rary,Ifeell
i
keIam onRel ate.

Enhlesays,whi
lestir
ringt hechakalakapoton
thestove,
"I
'
mt ell
ingyouoe, ifIhadabut t
on
somewher eonmybodyt hatIcouldpr essin
ordertoshutdownal lthef eeli
ngsIhav efor
Nathitr
ustme, Iwould."IseeManqoba
approachi
ngthedoorandIt rytocallout.
Me:
Enhl
e..
.
Her
:Honestl
y.Isworetomysel
fthatIwoul
d
l
eavehi
mf orgoodifhest
art
edwithhisr
ubbish
agai
n.Nathidoesn'
tknowmeungfunda
emaphepheni(
He'sonlyr
eadaboutmeint
he
newspaper)
!
Br
idget
teandI
:Enhl
e!!
Hewal ksinbeforewecoul dst opherandhangs
hisearintheair,
at t
enti
vel
yupont hecal
l ofhi
s
name.Br i
dgett
ecl enchedhert eethandtight
ly
closedhereyes.Enhlekeptstirri
ngandt asti
ng
thecontentsofherpot ,bl
abbingandf l
owi ng
l
ikeawat erf
allaft
eraheav yrain.Manqobaput
hisindexfi
ngeronhi sli
ps,thr
eat eni
ngust o
keepquiet.

Enhle:Gengengiy
ayithandalendodakodwat he
thi
ngshedoes?( GangIl ovethismanbut.
..
)He
makescut ebabi
essoI '
m notmadaboutthis
pregnancybutIsti
ll
pinchmy sel
ffort
hestupi
d
mishapwi t
hthemor ningafterpil
l
.
Themor
eshespoke,
themor
eIr
eal
i
sedt
hat
shewasv ent
ingt oherselfandnotus.Wewer e
j
usttherebutast heaudience.Shedidn'
treal
ly
needourinput .Shejustneededt ospri
ngclean
herchest.Woman, cany oustoptal
kingalr
eady?
Ithoughttomy sel
f.

Enhle:Kodwaguy sungidli
sil
euNat hiyaz.
(He
fedmeal ov eport
ion)Actuall
yno,
ungithakathil
eu-guy.Inki
ngay am Icannot
resi
sthisdi ck.(
..
.Hehasbewi tchedme.My
problem is.
.)
Shet
henlaughedsarcastical
lyandsai
d"But
hi
ssexga..
."andtur
nedt owardsusand
i
mmediatel
yturnedredint heface.
Her
:.
..ga.
..game.
Shesai
dandpr
essedherl
i
pst
oget
her
.
Manqobasmil
edandwal
kedt
owardsher.She
bl
ushedfr
om shameasMQsoft
lyhel
dher
wai
st.
Il
aughedint
ernal
l
yandlookedaway
,
embarr
assedonherbehal
f.

Hi
m:Whatwast
hataboutmysexgame?
Hesmi
ledwi
thhi
sli
pscl
osedandl
ookedheri
n
t
heeye
Shelookeddownshylyl
ikeateenagegi
rl
l
ist
eningtoaboydeclar
inghisundyi
ngl
ovet
o
her
.They '
resocut
etogether
.
Heki
ssedherfor
eheadandsaid"
Ngiyaxol
isa
t
handol
wami.Iwasstupi
d.I
'
llnev
erhurtyou
l
iket
hatev
eragain"
.Shemelt
ed.Gameov er.

Br
idget
te:
Hay
igetar
oom ni
na!
Theyst
il
lhadthei
reyesl
ockedineachot
her
.
Theydi
dn'
ttur
nt ol
ookather.
MQ:Uyamuzwal
omt
hakat
hibaby
?(Doy
ouhear
t
hiswi
tch?
)
Shel
aughedandkeptherey
esonhi
m.
Her
:Usat
anngeski
rt
(Thedev
ili
naski
rt
)
MQ: Si
benzani
abathakat
hikwaKhumalo?
(What
dowedowi thwit
chesintheKhumalo
househol
d?)
Shelaughedhar
der
,wi
thherey
esst
il
lgl
uedt
o
herman's.
Her
:Si
yabashi
sa!
(Webur
nthem!
)
MQ:
Sim'
shi
se?
(Shoul
dwebur
nher
?)
Her
:Asi
m'bhabhadi
sek'
qal
a(Let
'sbapt
izeher
f
ir
st)
Icouldn'
tstoplaughing.Br
idget
tewasbot h
amusedandpi ssedatthesamet i
me.MQ
helpedhimselftohiswife'
sli
psandgrabbed
herbutt.I'
veneverseenthi
ssoft,r
omanticand
l
ov i
ngsideofhi m.Itwasamazingtowat chbut
theywer ebei
ngabunchofal ot
.Theymi ghtas
wellhavesexont hi
skit
chencounter
!Ifwe
wer
eincourtaswitnesses,
wewoul d'
veended
upbehi
ndbarsforperjur
ybecauseofthi
s
Mabena,Enhl
e.

Muziwal
kedandimmedi
atel
ysai
d"Hay
ihay
i
hay
ihayi
bafo!
!Hayi
!!
"
Him:Sil
i
ndewenangaphandleandy ou'
rein
herer
ehearsi
ngf
orpornography
.Iphinyama
mfwethu?(
Wewaiti
ngforyououtside..
.where'
s
themeat?)
Hewasn'timpressed.MQwasn'tevenaf f
ordi
ng
him asecondofhisatt
enti
on.Thesightofthi
s
ult
imatel
ybecamet hecauseofmydeat hon
thecounter
.Il
augheduntilmyeyesreleased
tear
s.Bri
dgett
ewasonsome" Tell
him! "

Muzi'
seyesfel
lonmeasIwaswi pi
ngmytears
wit
hmyi ndexf
ingers.Asmi
leescapedhi
sli
ps.
Ibl
ushedandsmi l
edback.
Br
idget
te:
Noty
out
oo!
!
Shesai
d,t
hrowi
ngherhandsi
ntheai
rand
get
ti
ngofft
hebarst
ool.Shel
eft
.

Muzi mov edhisli

psi nsilenceandIr ead
"Ngiyakthanda".Ididt hesameandt oldhi mI
l
ov ehim back.Het henshout edtohisbr other
andsai d"Nqoba! !
"Her eceivednoat tention
from him stil
l
.Theset wower eoncloud99.He
turnedt omeagai nandwhi spered"Umuhl e
yezwa" .Iwhisperedbackandsai d"Ngi y
abonga
Zikode".Icouldn'tstopbl ushing.Hel ookedand
hisbrotherandshookhi sheadi ndef eat.He
l
iftedthebowl ful
lofmeatont hetable,came
ov ert
oki ssmeandl ef t
.

Ialsodecidedt
ol eavethetwot osortoutt
hei
r
i
ssuesbecauset heynowl ookedliketheywer
e
discussi
ngsomet hingofconsider
ableweight
.
Iwant edtogot ot heloobutIdecidedtomake
adet ourtoMuzi '
sbedr oom togocheckon
Mabuy i
.Igott
her eandknockedt onoanswer .I
wasconf l
i
ctedbecauseIwaswor riedabouther.
Openi ngthedoorwoul dlendmesomeease
andpeaceofmi ndbutal soi nv
adeherpri
vacy
atthesamet i
me.Iknockedonceagai nbut
therewasnoanswer .Isl
owl yl
etmyselfonlyto
fi
ndherf astasleep.Herhai rwasamessbut
shewaspeacef ul.Ilef
t.Iam notr
eadyfor
pregnancy .

Iwentbackdownstair
sandf oundthewomen
backtodefaul
tset
ti
ngs, car
ryi
ngonwi t
h
makingthesal
ads,rel
ishandothercondiment
s.
Me:
Ahhwena
IheldoutmyhandasanyAf
ri
candoest
oshow
disappoi
ntment
.
Shelaughedoutloudandsaid"
Awungiyeka
mina.Eyam l
endoda"(Leav
emealone.This
mani smine)
Br
idget
tej
umpedi
nandsai
d"Hai
bowenj
a!!
"
"Wer
eyounottheonesay
ing"
Nywisny
wething
mewnywisnywethi
ngmew?"(
He'
shurt
inghe's
hur
ti
ngme)
Il
aughed.
Enhl
e:Weeoe,
thi
stheonl
ymant hatknows
wheremyg-
spoti
s.Awukahl
e.(
Wai tabit
)
Il
aughedhar
der
.You'dbetshewasn'tt
heone
whowasreadytosl
aughtersomebody
momentsago.

Bri
dgett
eandEnhl
ewest
il
lar
gui
ngwhenapai
r
ofpeopl
ewalkedi
n.
Her
:Sur
pri
se!
!
Br
idget
teandEnhl
ewer
eexci
tedt
oseet
his
beauti
fulyoungperson.Enhl
ewipedherhands
withadishclot
handwentov ert
ohugher ,
excit
edlyj
umpi ngupanddown.
Enhl
e:Hai
bowhydidn'
tyousayt
haty
ou'
re
comingThando!
?
Her
:Andr
uint
hesur
pri
se?Hel
l
.Tot
heno.
Theguyshecamewi t
hwasst il
lst
andi
ngbythe
door,suppor
ti
nghishandonasui t
casehandl
e.
Hegr eet
edusandweal l
greet
edback.She
l
ookedatmemi ndl
esslyandthenqui
ckly
broughtherpoppedeyesbacktome.
Shet henwal
kedoverandsai
d"Youmustbe
Bhut'
MK' swi
fe?
".Shehuggedmebef
oreIcoul
d
respond.
Her:I
'
m hislit
tl
esi
ster,Mil
isut
hando.Waze
wamuhl ebo.Mybrotherhasaneyef or
beaut
ifulwomenChrist!
Il
aughed.She'
sfor
war
d.Bol
d.
Shewasdr essedi napai rofbl
uej eansri
pped
onlyattheknees, ol
dschool Vansandabl ack
croptopwr i
tt
en" Yourmanwant smynumber s
butIwanty ours.
"Thissentsomel esbi
ansi r
ens
tomebutIkeptqui et.Maybethisisjustan
i
nnocentt-shir
t.Shekeptbr ushi
ngherweav e
withherhandsandbat ti
ngherfalselashes.
Evely
nmakesbeaut i
fulbabi
es.

MQandMKwal kedi nfoll

owingeachotherand
l
aughingatwhat eversill
ytopict
heywere
di
scussing.Theirsmilesimmediatel
yfaded
uponthesmel lofforeigntest
oster
oneinthe
ki
tchen.Thandoscr eamedandj umpedonMuzi .
Hedidn'tsmil
ebuthecaughtherwi thonehand.
She'
ssosl enderandpet it
e.Doessheev eneat
atall
?
MQ:
Youmustbel
ooki
ngf
ordi
rect
ions.Ri
ght
?
Hesaid,di
rect
ingthi
stot
hey
oungman,
who
nowlookedterri
fi
ed.
MK: Angi
dayi
siamaGPSmi nabafo.Di
rect
ions
nj
ani l
akwami?(Idon'
tsel
lGPSs.What
di
recti
onsinmyhouse? )
Hi
m:Hay
ibendi
thi
..(
Iwasj
ust
..
.)
MQ:
Khat
hul
ekwedi
n!(
Shutupboy
!)
Shame.Helookssoi
nnocentandnerdywi
th
thosegl
assesandhi
sevenandshortcombed
hair
.
Bri
dgett
e:Shushubi
rd.Kut
haf
uu.Kut
ense.
Kubi.
Shesai
dbefor
eshegulpeddownherl
arge
gl
assofredwi
ne,t
ryi
ngtostopher
sel
ffrom
l
aughi
ng.
Thando:
Cant
hebot
hofy
our
elax?
MQ:WenaMr
sbigbroal
lowance,
kuzok'
si
za
ukuv
alal
oml
omonyanawakhoomncaneifyou
don'
twanty
ourcar
dsdecl
i
ning.
Shelaughedandsai d"Imagi neawholeMi l
l
y
broke?Anent i
reri
chbitchnkosi y
am.The
founderofclassandstyle.Imajene.
"Shesaid
anddramaticall
yputhermani cur
edandclawed
handonherf orehead.Shehadwhi t
eand
extr
emelylongacr yl
i
cnai l
s.
Her:
Meandbr
okecannotbeusedi
nthesame
sent
ence.
MK:
Don'
twor
ry.You'
renotgonnabebr
oke.
Hesof
tl
ysai
d.
Her:Iknowukuthuy
angt
handawenabhut'
wam.
PhelaI'
ll
forev
erbet
heappl
ey ourey
e.(
Iknow
thatyoulov
ememybr ot
her)
Shesai
dandsmi
l
ed,
try
ingt
obeandl
ookcut
e.
Him:You'
renotgonnabebr
okemyl
ove.You'
re
gonnabebroqué!
Heexcl
aimedwi
thhi
sey
esonher
.Shewasst
il
l
i
nhislef
thand.Shesai
d"Mci
i
m"andl
ooked
away.
Guy
:I'
l
lcal
lyou.
Hesai
dtoThandoandr
ushedout
.
MK:
Phone.
Hesaidtoher,hol
dingouthishandsoshecan
submitit
.Shetri
edthrowi
ngat ant
rum but
Manqobasaid"DECLINED!!
".Shethinnedher
eyesathim,pul
ledi
toutofherbackpocketand
aggressi
vel
yputiti
nMuzi'shand.

UNEDI
TED.
Don'
tgetconf
usedwi
tht
hechar
act
ernames
myloves.

1.BoikokobetsoRemofi
lwe'Sphakami
l
e'
Motlhabane(Mainchar
acter
)
2.Gugul
ethuMabuy
iDl
ami
ni-
Khumal
o(The
si
sterwi
fe)

3.Muzikay
isePhakamani
Khumal
o(The
husband)

4.ManqobaNat
hisi
yabusaKhumal
o(The
brot
her
)

5.MbusoKhumal
o(Theot
herbr
other
)

6.Mil
isut
handoNkosi
ngi
phi
l
eKhumal
o(The
babysist
er)

7.Mi
nenhl
eXul
u-Khumal
o(Manqoba'
swi
fe)
8.Evel
ynNot
handoKhumal
o(Muzi
kay
ise'
s
mother)

9.Vi
oletMai
temogel
oMot
lhabane-
Mal
apel
a
(Bet
so'smot
her)

10.Br
idget
teXoshobe(
Mandl
a'
swi
fe)

11.Mandl
aXoshobe(Muzi
kay
ise'
sbestf
ri
end)

I
fy ou'
reconf
usedaboutany
thi
ngel
se,pl
ease
feelfr
eetoaskint
hecommentsect
ionofTHIS
post.
I
nser
t41.

Weinit
ial
l
ywant
edtohavethebr
aaiwhol
l
y
out
sidebutt
heweat
herj
ustwasn'
tbei
ng
cooper
ativ
eanymore.Itst
arteddr
izzl
i
nglightl
y
sotheguyspackedeveryt
hingandbroughtit
i
nside,
incl
udi
ngthemeat .

Enhl
eandIsett
hetabl
eandBr
idget
tecomesi
n
wit
hsal
adbowls.
Manqobal
ooksatherandsays"Ihopet
her
e's
papamongstal
lthatr
abbi
tfood"
.
Muzi
laughsandmakeshi
swayupst
air
s.
Enhl
e:Whatki
ndofZuluwi
veswouldwebei
f
wefedyouGreeksal
admarababy
?
Br
idget
te:Speakf
oryour
sel
fsi
s.Ndi
tshat
we
emaXhosenimnabhabha.
Welaughed.Thandocamebackbecauseshe
hadwenttotakeashower .Shefi
xedandpulled
downhershortblackdr
esswhi chshehad
pai
redwit
hgoldLVsl i
des.Shewasev entual
l
y
gi
venherphonebackbutshe' snotal
lowedto
l
eav
ethehouse.

Manqobatookoutapi eceofmeatfrom the

l
argeTupperwarebowl i
twasplacedin.We,the
womenalldisgr
untl
edlysnappedathimto
washhishandsfir
st.
Thando:
Urghhhmi
crobes!
!
Hi
m:Yi
n'l
eyo?
Her
:Bhut
iger
ms.
.bact
eri
a..pat
hogens
Shewastr
yingsohar
dtoexpr
essherl
evel
of
di
sgust
.
Hi
m:Idon'
tseeshi
t.
MuziwashelpingMabuyitogetdownthestai
rs.
Shehadalsotakenashower.Shelookedbett
er
thanshedidt
hel astt
imeIsawher.

Thando:
Bhut
'Ni
cepl
easest
opt
ouchi
ngt
he
f
ood'ah.Youcan'tseemicr
oor
gani
smswith
y
ournakedey e.Youactual
l
yneedamicr
oscope
f
orthat.
Him:Whydoweneedami
croscopewhenwe
haveamehl
okaSpha?
Theyal
lexpl
odedi
nlaught
er.I
sMQr
oast
ing
me?Reall
ynow?
Iconti
nuedsett
ingt
hecut
ler
y,l
aughi
ngi
n
betweendefeat
edsmil
eswhil
eshaki
ngmy
head.
Muzi
wast
ryi
ngt
oohar
dnott
olaugh.
Hi
m:Baf
o.Pl
easel
eav
emywi
feal
one.
MQ:
Hawu.Yi
ni?
Hesaidandasher
aisedhi
shandst
oshow
conf
usion.
MQ:Youhavebeauti
fulmicrosc.
.Imeany
our
ey
es.Youhavebeauti
fuleyesmakoti.
Ev
ery
onewasst
il
ll
aughi
ng.
Whenthejokefinal
lyexpiredandwewer eal
l
seat
edaroundthet abl
e,Enhleinsi
stedon
sayi
nggrace.Herhusbandwasn' thavingit
.He
wasalr
eadydishingupf orhimself
.
Enhle:Babyv
alaamehlosi
thandaze.I
'
llonl
y
taketwoseconds.(
Closey
ourey essowecan
pray)
Him:Myappet i
tecannotwaitt
hatlong.Andmy
stomachisnotaChr i
sti
anstomach.Mawunga
k'
thandazel
alokudl
athinaabanyesogula.(I
f
youprayforthi
sfoodsomeofuswi l
lgetsi
ck)
Ev
ery
onecoul
dn'
tst
opl
aughi
ng.
Her
:Ngi
yak'
cel
ababakhe.
Wewer eall
holdinghands.Thechai
nwas
brokenbet
weenEnhl eandMandlabecauseof
anobstacl
ebyt henameofManqoba.Hef inal
l
y
gaveintohi
swi fe'
spleaandputthebowldown
andimpati
entl
yex hal
ed.
Enhl
ethenst
art
edt
opr
ayi
nal
owt
one.
Her :
Ourf ather.Whoar tinHeaven,Creat
orof
all
.Thesour ceofallgoodnessandl ove,
please
kindlyl
ookuponusandr ecei
veourheartf
elt
grati
tudef orthefoodpl acedbefor
eussoi t
provideourbodi es,Yourt empl
esLor dwit
hall
thenourishmentt heyneeds.Thisweaski nthe
nameofTheFat her,TheSonandt heHol ySpir
it
.
Amen.
Us:
Amen.
Muzi
:IswearIhear
dyousay"
Hor
nyspi
ri
t"
.
Thesetwoaredef
ini
tel
yseedsfr
om thesame
man!Ever
yonewaslaughi
ngasEnhl ewas
tr
yingt
oohardtoadvocat
eforhersel
f.
MQ: Baby
,I'
mt heonethat'
ssitt
ingnexttoyou
andI'
m al
socer t
ainIhear
dy ousayingexact
ly
that
.Ourearscan'tbebot
hf aul
tyngeke.
Mabuy
i:Hay
iguy
sshesai
dHO-
LYspi
ri
t.Hol
y.
Shesaidassheal sotr
iedtocont
ainher
l
aughter.Thisargumentwassti
ll
inprogr
essas
wewer ealldishi
ngup.
Mandl
a:That
'snotwhatmyear
shear
d.
Mbusoalsocoul
dn'tstopl
aughi
ng.Theywere
gangi
nguponher.Sheev ent
ual
lysai
d"Yazi
n?
TheLordismywitness.HeknowsIsaidHol
y"
Br
idget
te:
Youl
otar
egoi
ngt
ohel
l
.
Manqoba:I
fthere'
sal
cohol
ther
ethenI
'
m not
ev
enbothered.
Thesesil
lyar
gumentswer
etheonl
ythi
ngon
theagendafordi
nner
.

Thelightr
ainhadf or
tunat
elystoppedaft
erwe
weredonepacki ngawaythedishes.Thegent
s
mov edbackoutsidewiththechair
sandbeer
packs.Mabuyiinsist
edonhelpinguscleanup
butweallsaidno.Shethensatonthechai
rand
Bri
dget
tefil
ledherinonthedramat hat
tr
anspi
redwi t
hEnhleintheaft
ernoon.
Her:Ngi
yamazilo(Iknowthi
sone).She'
ll
tel
l
youhowshehat eshim onl
ytoturnaji
kaony ou
aft
erhedicksherdown.Shebecomesaski l
led
sel
loutt
hisoneoncesheget sdickni
fi
ed.
Shesai
dandwel
aughed.
Enhl
e:Buti
ndabazabant uabat
handanayo
azi
ngenwaguys.(
Issuesbetweenloversar
enot
tobemeddlesi
n)Everybodyknowsthis.
Mabuyi:Oh!
?Oh!
?Kunj
alomanj
e?Hoe'r
ight
.I
don'
teverwantt
oseey
ouherecr
yingonmy
door
step.
Weconti
nuedlaughingasEnhlehummeda
songpr
etendi
nglikeshedidn'
thearathi
ng
whil
eshepackedt hel
eft
oversi
ntothefr
idge.
Mabuyicoul
dn'tst
opyawning.Thet i
mewas
somewherearound21h30.Shest oodupwhen
wealmostdoneandsai dshe'
sheadingtobed.
Enhl
easkedwher eThandodisappearedt
oa
minut
ebeforeshecamei ntothekit
chenaswe
weresti
l
laski
ngabouther .
Mabuy
i:Speakoft
hedev
ilandsheshal
lappear
.
Thandolaughedandcametoplaywit
hher
bumpandki ssi
toverMabuyi
'
sdress.Shethen
stoodupri
ghtandgaveheramischi
evoussmil
e.
Thando:
Skwi
i
ii
?
Mabuy
i:Ha-
uh.Iknowt
hatl
ook.Uf
unani
?
Her
:Asmal
l
,ti
nywi
ncyf
avour
.
Mabuy
igav
ehera"
Speak!
"look.
Thando:
Ineedt
hei
Phone11pr
o.
Shesai
dandshy
lycl
osedherey
eswi
thher
pal
ms.
Mabuy
i:ButManqobar
ecent
lygoty
out
heX.
Her
:Thatwasbef
oret
he11pr
o.
Mabuyi
:Ift
heyreleaseanot
heroneadayaf
ter
hebuy
st hepr
ot henwhat?
Her
:Thennot
hing.Ipr
omi
se.
Mabuy i
:Whatdoyoudowithall
themoneyyou
getfr
om all
yourbr
other
splusyourpar
ent
s
becauseyoucanaff
ordthephoneyour
sel
f
wena.
Thando:
Moneydemandst
obespent
.
Shel
owl
ysai
dandf
iddl
edwi
thherf
inger
s.
Mabuy i
:You'
reonly18butthenumberof
phonesy ou'
vehadsofarequat
etoyour
underwear.
Thandol aughedandpl eadedwi t
hMabuy it
o
speaktohi sbrotheronherbehal f
.Mabuyi
didn'
tpromi seheranythingbutshedidnotsay
noeitherbef or
eshewentupst ai
rstosl
eep.The
gentsfloodedintothekitchen.Mandlatookhi
s
wifebyhandandt heyleft
.Mbusosaidhe's
meetingupwithfri
endsandal sol
eft
, wal
king
outwithThandowhowast ryi
ngtosweett al
k
hi
mi ntoonl
y-God-knows-what.MuziaskedMQ
andEnhlewhent hey'r
eleavi
ngandthey
si
mul t
aneousl
yrepliedandsaid"Whosay swe
are?"
Heshookhisheadandl aughed.Wewenti nt
o
l
iv
ingroom andtheychasedeachot herupst
air
s.
MQstoppedhalfwaythestaircaseandasked
Muzii
fhisroomsaresound- proof.
Muzi
sai
d"Si
esman"andwel
aughedexcept
hi
m.

Muzihel
dmywaistandkissedmeont helips.
Hethensi
ghedandsaid"Imissedyou"
.I
l
aughedandsai
d"ButIwasr i
ghtherewit
hy ou
al
lday"
.Heexhal
ed.Deeply
.He'snotokay.
Me:
Babywhat
'swr
ong?
Hi
m:Lut
ho.I
'
mjust
..
.(
Not
hing)
Me:
Just
???
Hesunkdownont
hecouchandIwentt
osi
t
nextt
ohi
m.
Hi
m:I
'
mjustwor
ri
edaboutuMaDl
ami
ni.
Isi
ghed.
Me:Shelooksbett
ert
hanshedidt
hisaf
ter
noon
t
hough.She'sgoi
ngtobef
ine.
Her
aisedhi
sheadt
olookatme.
Hi
m:Wecan'
tl
oseanot
herbaby
.
Myhear tbegancr acking.I'
m notusedtoseeing
himinsuchast ate.Iputmyhandonhi s
shoulderbecauseIdi dn'tknowhowel seto
comf or
thim.Inev erthoughtI'donedaybe
sit
ti
ngandt ryi
ngt omakemymanf eelbet
ter
duetot hecomplicationsofanot herwoman's
pregnancy.Li
feisheav i
lyaddi
ctedt owonder
sI
tel
lyou.
Heshrunkhi
sfaceandIsawalotofexhaust
ion
fr
om t
hat.Hethengotupandpul
ledmeupso
hecanhugme.
Him:CanIpl
easesl
eepwi
thhert
oni
ght
?Pl
ease
baby
?Ipromisewewon'
tdoathi
ng.
Ididn'tmeantolaughathi
slastst
atementbutI
did.Hesmi l
edinasurpri
sedmannerand
continuedwait
ingforananswer.
Me:
Youcan.I
'
llbef
ine.
Thandowal kedinandsai dshe'll
sleepwit
hme.
Shewaseav esdropping.Idon'
tknowhowMuzi
andIletthatsli
debutwedi d.Ibrushedhi
s
shoulder
sandheki ssedmyf oreheadand
rushedupt hestair
s.

Ismil
edtoherasshet
ookt
heTVr
emot
eand
wentupst
air
s.
Igott here,tookashowerandputonmy
pyjamas.Isl i
dintomysl ippersandwentback
downst airs.Iwenti nt
ot heliv
ingroom and
foundherbl ushingont hephone.Shepani cked
butIt ri
edt oassureherwi thasmi l
ethatIwon'
t
snitchonher .Iwentintot hekit
chenand
pour edmy sel
facol dglassofor angejui
ce.I
hear dtheTVgoof fandshecamei ntothe
kit
chen.
Her
:Youl
ookt
ir
ed.
Shesaidandshet ooktheglassfrom myhand
anddrankmyjuice.Thischi
ld!Ican'tr
esi
sther
cut
enessthoughsoIshookmyheadand
pour
edmy sel
fanot hergl
ass.Wel ockedt
he
door
sandwentupst ai
rs.

Imov
edmyt oi
l
etr
ybagf r
om t
hebedandgot
comf
ortabl
e.Shesuddenl
ysai
d"Youwon'
ttel
l
hi
mright?"
Shesai
dasshechangedi
ntoherpy
jamas.I
l
aughed.
Me:NoIwon't
.Idon'
tl
ikehowthey
'r
e
oppr
essi
ngyoutobehonest.
Her
:Ri
ght
?
Her:I'
mlit
eral
l
ynotallowedtospeaktoanyboy
aroundthem.TheyalwayssayI'
m notal
lowed
todate.I
t'
sdepressi
ng.
Il
aughed.
Me:
Ishey
ourboy
fri
end?
Isai
dcuriousl
y.Shebl
ushedandaskedmewhy
I'
m aski
ng.
Isai
d"Mm-mh"andt
ookmyj
uicef
rom t
he
bedsi
det
abl
eforasi
p.
Her:Youal
sothi
nkhe'
snotmyt
ypel
i
ke
ever
ybodyel
se?
Shesay
sandl
aughs.
Me:
Hawu.Idi
dn'
t.
.
Her:Iknowthat'
swhatyouthi
nk.Peoplekeep
expecti
ngmet orockupwit
htheseSkr r
sSkrr
s
withtat
toos,
pier
cingsandt
hebrainsizeofa
si
nglericegr
ain.
Wel
lthi
sisi
nter
est
ing
Me:
Hawu.Ar
eyounotaSkr
rskr
ryour
sel
fwena?
Her:Iam butIcan'tdateone.Ican'tst
andthem.
Xolaniissmart.Witt
y.Hasasenseofhumorf or
days!!He'
sagent l
emanandIknowf orafact
thathe'snotwithmef ormyf amily
'sri
ches
becausewear enodi ff
erenti
nt hatdepar
tment.
ANDhecar esaboutme.
She'srambli
ng.She'str
yingsohardtoexplain
whyshe'swithhim andIdon'tseeanyproblem
wit
ht hei
rrel
ati
onship.They'
reactual
l
yav ery
cutematch.Helooksl i
keanerdbuthe's
handsome.
Me:
Woul
dyour
elax?He'
shot
.
Her
:Hei
s?
Shesoundedshockedbyt
his.Ishotoutal
augh.
Me:
Yeah!He'
sahotner
d.
Shelaughed.Shethr
ewherselfont
hebedand
l
aidcross-
legged,
withherheadatmyfeet
.She
si
ghed.Heav i
ly
.
Her:I
t'
sjust..myf r
iendsmakemef eelwei
rd
aboutbeingwi t
hhim.Thef actt
hatwe'r
eina
l
ongdi st
ancer el
ati
onshipdoesnothelpei
ther.
TheyaskmeALLt hedamnt imewhyI'
d"do
thi
s"tomy selfbecausehe'
satWi t
sandI'm at
UCT.Theyal wayssayhe'snotworththewait.
Shesai
danddi
dquot
emar
kswi
thherf
inger
s.
Me:Youdon'
thav
etoli
stent
othem.Alwaysdo
whatmakesYOUhappy
.Hemakesy ouhappy
r
ight
?
Her
:Yeah.Yeahhedoes.
Icoul
dfeel
thewar
mthandt
hef
eel
i
ngofbei
ng
l
ovedf
rom herv
oice.
Her
:Youknowwhat
?
Shesatupr
ight
Me:
What
?
Shel
aughedbef
oreshespoke.
Her
:You'
rer
ight
.You'
ret
otal
l
yri
ght
.
Ismi
l
edandcont
inueddr
inki
ngmyj
uice.
Her
:CanIasky
ouquest
ion?
Ohdear
!
Me:
Sur
e.
Her
:Howwasy
our
..y
ouknow.
.
Conf
used.Thatwasme.
Me:
Nnnn-
no.Idon'
t.
Her
:Youknow.Yourf
ir
stt
ime?
Sheawkwardlymovedherheadf
oremphasi
s.I
l
aughedoutloudandendedupchoki
ngonmy
j
uice.
Her
:Don'
tl
augh.I
'
mlegi
tscar
ed.
Ifi
nallycomposedmy sel
f.Ihonest
lydidnot
expectsomebodyofhernat uretosti
l
lbea
vi
rgin.Ijudgedhert
oosoon.
Me:
You'
reser
ious?You'
re.
.?
Her
:Yes.
Shesai
dandl
aughed.
Her
:I.Am.A.Vi
r.Gi
n.And.Toni
c.
Il
aughedoutl
oud.She'
scr
azy
!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t42.

Iguessit
'str
uewhattheysay
.Judgi
ngabook
byit
'scoveri
sneveralogi
calt
hingt
odo.
Thando:I'
m honest
lynotsurpr
isedthatyou'
re
shocked.Peopleal
waysperceivemewr onglyat
fi
rstsi
ght.Al
ltheti
me.HellIdon'tevenpart
y.
Shesay
sandl
aughs.
Her:Ther
e'sabsol
utel
ynothi
ngwr ongwit
h
part
yingbytheway.It
'sj
ustthatpeopl
eoften
seeanon-exist
entpar
tyanimalinme.
Me: Buttel
lme.Howdidyoumanaget
heget
t
het att
ooony ourwr
istwi
tht
heseHul
ksas
yourbrother
s?
Wel
aughedoutl
oud.
Her:
Ijustsai
d"i
fIdi
e,Idi
e"andwentahead
andgotit
.2year
sago.
Me:
Howdi
dtheyr
eact
?
Her:Theypunchedholesinabigboxandput
met her
ef or3hour
s.Seethoseboxesthat
washingmachinescomei n?Bangf
akalapho
bangval
ela.Bangt
hathel
anephone.(Theyput
meinther
eandcl
osedt
hebox.Theyal
sot
ook
myphone)
Me:
Hai
bo!Wher
ewasy
ourmot
her
?
Her:
'Mydar
li
ng'
wasnothome.Shewas
over
seas
Il
aughedoutloudassheshookherheadasif
she'
sonlydi
gesti
nghowcrazythi
sactual
lywas.
Evel
yn'
skidsgethi
ghoffi
mitat
ingheraccent
.
Her:
Lucki
l
y,theywer
econsi
der
ateenought
o
gi
vemewat er.
Il
aughedharder
.Ican'
tbel
ievet
hem.Andthi
s
i
stheverysamemanI '
m goingt
ohaveki
dsby?
Idon'
tthi
nkIwantagir
lchi
ldanymor
e.

Her:I
fitwasuptothem,I
'dst
ayathomeand
at
tendumhlangaforev
er.
Me:
What
'st
hat
?
Her
:Ukuhl
olwa
Me:
Ukuhl
olwa?
Her
:Yeah.Vi
rgi
nit
ytest
ing.You'
venev
erhear
d
ofi
t?
Me:
No.Whathappenst
her
e?
Her:Wegot hereever
yy eart
ogett est
ed.I
t'
s
appar entl
ydonetoprotectgi
rlsfr
om
pregnancy ,
HIVandalsoinsti
ll
goodbehav i
our.I
decidedandst oppedgoing.Lucki
ly,mymom
under stoodmypointbutdadandt herestdi
dn't
getit.Theysti
lldon'
t.
Me:
Whydi
dyoust
op?
Her:Idon'
tseethepoi nt.Idon'tbel
ievethata
womanbecomesanyl essofawomani fshe
l
osesherv i
rgi
nit
yorsi mpl yhassex.Ihatehow
awoman' sval
uei scalculatedbasedont he
numberofsexual par
tner sshehashadbutmen
keepgetti
ngpraisesforhav inghighbody
counts.Whataboutthegi rl
st hatl
osttheir
hymensduet orapeandbi cycleseats?
Me:Buti
fithel
pskeepthepr
egnancyandHIV
r
atesl
owitmustbedoingsomegood, r
ight
?
Her:
Igett
hat.WhatIhatei
sthedi
srespectthat
ot
hervi
rgi
nscastonthosewhoarenot"pure".
I
t'
snotfai
r.
Thi
sissueisclear
lycl
osetoherhear
t.Howdi
d
wegettothishecti
cofatopi
c?
Ij
ustnoddedandfi
nishedof
fmyj ui
ce.Iknow
not
hingaboutZul
ucultur
eattheendoftheday.

Her:
Anyway,
howdoesi
tfeel
bei
ngsopr
ett
y?
Areyouev
enreal
?
Ilaughedoutl
oud.Whatki
ndofaquestionis
this?Doesi
tcomewi t
hamemor andum?
BecauseIhavenocluehowtoanswerthis.
Me:
Stop.
Isai
dasIcont
inuedl
aughi
ng.
Her
:Nol
i
keamehl
owakho,
iskhumbasakho,
yourbody,nj
e,yonk'
i
nto(
Yourey
es,
ski
n,body
,ever
ythi
ng)
Icannevergetabr
eakfrom bl
ushi
ngi
nthis
house.Sheandherbr
otheraret
aki
ngtur
nswit
h
me.
Icheckedt heti
meandi talr
eady00h22.Ijust
knewi twaslatefrom howIwasy awni
ng.Itol
d
herit
'st i
meforbedbutshest i
llwantedtoget
i
cecr eam.Herav idvibr
ancemakesmef eelli
ke
I'
m old.Tooold.Iturnedherdownandsl epton
topoft hesheets.I
twasmadhot .Shegaveup
andgr abbedherphone.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

Thando:
Sis!
?
Icoul
dhearherbuti
tfel
tli
kei
twasf
rom a
greatdi
stance.Iwashi
ghl
yint
oxi
cat
edwi
th
deepsleep.
Thando:
Sis!
???
Shesai dassheshookmyent ir
ebody.Ifnatur
e
didnotmakepr ovi
sionf orsi
tuat
ionsl
ikethis
myl ungswould'
vepr obablygott
envortexed
withmyi nt
esti
nesfrom howshewasr apidl
y
shakingme.
Me:
Hmm!
??
Her
:Cont
ract
ions!USi
s'Gugu!Thebaby
!!
What?Shewaspani cki
ngandnotmaki ng
sensebutIunder st
ood.Irushedoutofthe
room andshef ol
lowedme.Thedoorwaswi de
openandshesi tti
ngont heedgeofthebed,
withherlegswideopen.Enhlewaswi pi
ngher
sweatfrom herneckandf aces.Mabuyiwas
dri
ppingwet .WhereisMuzi?IaskedThando
andshesai dherusheddownst ai
rs.Whatfor?
Shewasst ruggli
ngtobreathesoIwentt okneel
i
nfr
ontofherandhel
dherhands.
Me:
Breat
he.
Sher apidlyshookherheadi ndi
catingthatshe
doesn'tagr eewi t
hme.Shedoesn' twantto
breathe?Il ookedatheri ntheey eand"Mabuy i
l
istent ome, breathein"IsaidasIal sodidwhat
Iwasi nstruct i
nghert odo.Shef ollowedsuit.
"I
n...andout .
..
".Itur
nedt oThandowhowasnot
helpingwi thherpani ckingandt oldhertogo
fi
ndherbr other .Muziwal kedinandsai dthecar
i
sr eady .Het ri
edt otouchherbuthehi this
handsandt oldhimt oleav eheralone.

Hi
m:Hawumommyangi
thi
..
Her
:IFI
TWASN'
TFORYOUANDYOURSTUPI
D
D**
KIWOULDN'
TBEI
NTHISSI
TUATI
ON.
Thandoshotoutalaugh.Wealltur
nedand
l
ookedatherandshei mmediat
elystoppedand
dart
edhereyesaround.Mabuyiputherri
ght
handbehi
ndheront hebedandarchedher
back."
Ssssssssss"
.Shekepthi
ssinginpai
n.
Her:
Ican'
tgi
vebir
thnow.I
t'
snotyett
ime.I
'
m
notr
eady.Mel
okuhl
eyoucan'
tcomeoutnow
pl
easebaby.
Sheshotoutashar
pscr
eam i
nangui
sh.

Muzi
wasj
ustst
andi
ngt
her
e,gawki
ngatus.
Enhle:Don'
tbesi
l
ly.Youcandot
his.Cont
inue
breathi
ng.
Whyar
ethesepeopl
est
il
lher
e?
Me:
Lena!Let
'sgett
hisper
sont
othehospi
tal
.
Muzi f
inal
l
ysnappedoutofi
tandcar
ri
edher
out.Shedidn'
tfi
ghthi
m.I
sthi
sevensaf
efor
thebaby?

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t42cont
..

"
Doct
or!Anynews?
"
Muziyel
ledoutt
oherasshewasr ushi
ngto
passbyinherbl
uescrubs.Shest
oppedonher
tr
acksandrever
sedtowardsus.
Manqoba:
Howi
sshe?Hasshegi
venbi
rt
hyet
?
Thedrexhal
edandhel
dontight
lytot
hebrown
fi
l
eshehadinhandandfl
appeditupanddown.
Her
:I'
m af
rai
dnot
.
Shesai
dandf
ixedherspect
acl
eswi
thheri
ndex
fi
nger
.
Her:I
'm notqui
tehappywithherbl
oodpr essur
e.
And,thebabyisalsonoti
nthecorrect
ori
entat
ion.Meaningwehav enochoicebutto
perf
orm aCaesareansect
ion.
Wekeptqui
etandponder
edov
erwhatshehad
j
ustsai
d.
Her
:Ify
ou'
l
lexcuseme.
Shesaidandleft
.Muzisunkdownont hebench
andwipedhisfacei
nf r
ustr
ati
on.Manqobaheld
andsqueezedhisshoulder
.

*
***Af
ewhour
slat
er*
***

Thandocalledt
ocheckonhowMabuy i
was
doi
ng.SheandEnhlewerelef
tathome.TheDr
approachedandweallst
oodupwithur
gency.
Her
:Ar
eyout
hehusband?
Shesai
d,di
rect
inghi
stoManqoba.
Hi
m:Nohei
s
Muzi
:Iam.
Theysai
d,si
mul
taneousl
y.
Shesmil
edandsai
d" Congr
atul
ati
onsdaddy
.
Youar
enowt hef
athertoabeauti
ful
babyboy.
He'
sdoi
ngwaybet
tert
hanIexpect
ed.
"
ThankGod!Hesi
ghedinrel
i
efandsai
d"Thank
you"
.CanIseehernow?"
Dr
:Ofcour
se!
Wi
tht
hat
,shewal
kedaway
.

Hetur
nedtol
ookatmeandIassur
edhi
mthat
hecango.
Iwast henlef
twit
hManqobaont hebench.He
turnedtolookatmeandasked,
"Howarey ou
feeli
ng?"Ismil
edfai
ntl
yandtol
dhimI'm okay
.
Hi
m:Thi
smustbehar
dfory
ou.
Iti
s.Iexhaledandshr
uggedt
oshowmybei
ng
speechless.
Hecamet
osi
tdownwi
thmeont
hebench.
Him:Bheka,t
hisi
smorethananancient
ancest
ralpr
omisetoMK.Uyak'
thandaumji
ta.
(
Look.
..t
heguyl
ovesy
ou)
Ilaughedbecauset hi
sisanabusedpl ati
tude.
Hel aughedt ooandsai d"NoI'
m beinghonest .
I'
m nott r
yingtochar my ouonhisbehal f.I
remembert hefi
rstdayhemety ouatPLK.Ihad
heardhi m soexcitedtomeetal adybef ore.He
couldn'tstoptal
kingabouty ourmicroscopes..I
mean. .youreyes.Hecoul dn'
tstoptalkingabout
yourey es"
Il
aughedoutl
oud.Manqobajustwant
sto
depl
etet
heli
tt
leener
gyIhaveleft
.

MuzicamebackandsaidMabuy ii
sgoingtobe
keptover
nightf
orobser
vat
ionandsaidshe
wantstoseeme.Thiscameasasur pri
set
ome
butIst
oodupandwentov ertoherroom.

Say
ingshewasexhaustedwoul
dbecomplet
ely
meiot
icofme.Shegavemeaweaksmilewhen
Iwal
kedi
nandIwal
kedov
ert
osi
tnextt
oher
.
Me:
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Her
:I'
l
lsur
viv
e.
Inodded.
Her
:Iwant
edt
osayt
hanky
ou.
Me:
Hm?
Her:
Ther easonIcal
l
edy
ouher
e.Iwant
edt
o
saythankyou
Me:
Whatf
or?
Her:
Idi
dn'
texpecty
out
obet
hatsuppor
ti
ve
t
hismorni
ng.
Ismi
l
edandsai
dit
'snotabi
gdeal
.
Her:Ourhusbandi
sluckyt
ohav
eyouashi
s
wif
e.Iam too.
Thi
sIdi
dnotexpect.We'v
ebeenawkwardly
ni
cetoeachot
herlatel
ybutIdi
dnotexpectt
his.
Ismi
l
edandsqueez
edherhand.Idon'
tknow
whattosay.Iaskedheri
fIcanseet
hebaby
andshesaidyes.Ist
oodandwentovert
ohis
i
ncubator
.

Me:
Aww.Angi
sebr
oody
.(I
'
m sobr
oody
)
Shel
aughedoutloudandsaid"Goodluck.
Yi
se'
skidswil
lmakeyourli
fealivi
nghell
.Trust
me.Ihavedoubl
etheexper
ience"
.Ilaughed.
Me:Aww.He'ssonunusmaaan.HehasMuzi
'
s
l
ipsandnose.
Shelaughedandi
mit
atedBr
idget
teandsai
d
"Sembi"
Il
aughedoutl
oudandwear
guedbecauseMuzi
i
sanythi
ngbutugl
y.
Iwasst
il
ladmi
ri
nghi
m whenshesai
d"Bee?
"
Me:
Hmm?
Isai
dandl
ookedather
.
Her
:Cany
oudomeaf
avour
?
Me:
Uhm.
.depends.Whatki
nd?
Her
:Ber
nini
.Justt
wocol
dbot
tl
es.
Il
aughed.Ican'
tbel
i
evet
hiswoman!
Her:I
'v
ebeencravi
ngitf
orthelongestt
imebut
ever
yonei
ncludi
ngyourhusbandhasbeen
watchi
ngmel i
keahawk.Please.
Me:
Arey
ounotgoi
ngt
obr
east
feed?
Her
:No.He'
sgoi
ngt
otakebabyf
ormul
a.
Me:
DoesMuzi
knowt
his?
Shel
ookedupandpr
etendednott
ohav
ehear
d
me.
Il
aughed.There'
snowayi nhell
I'
m putti
ngmy
mar r
iageinj
eopar
dyforhercravi
ngs.I'
m
growingmoreandmor efonderofheraseach
daypassesbutIhonestl
ycannotcan'thel
pher
withthis.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
*

Enhl
e,Manqoba,ThandoandIwer epl ayi
ng
MonopolywhenMuzi walkedinataround
17h00.Manqobainsi
stedwegi v
eMuzi and
Mabuyusomepr i
vacyatthehospitalsowel ef
t
hi
mt her
e.Hemostpr obablyUber'
edhi sway
backhome.

Thando:
Hayi
hayibhut
iyourdi
cethr
owgave
youa7.Youmov
ed6st eps.Tr
onktoe!
!Got
o
Jai
l.
Il
aughedbecauseManqobawast r
yingtorob
hi
swayoutgoingtojai
lontheboard.He'sal
so
beencheat
ingandt
akingextr
amoneyf rom t
he
bank.
Manqoba:
Y'al
lar
eganginguponmebecause
I
'mtheonl
ymanar oundthi
stabl
e.
MKl aughedwhenhewalkedandsai
dhecan
hearournoisef
rom t
hegate.

Enhlesaidshe' snol ongerpl ay i

ngbecauseMQ
i
spl ayi
ngunf airl
y.Igotupandwentt ocheckon
mypot s.Hubbyf ol
lowedmei ntothekit
chen.
Thepapwasr eady.Idishedi tupol dschool
sty
lebyusi ngahugebowl ofwat eranddippi
ng
asmal leroneintoitbef or
edi shingup.Ilove
doingthiswhenIdi shupf oragr oupofpeople
becausei tshapest hepapr eal l
ywel l
.Ii
nit
ial
l
y
want edtocookr icebutgotabi gnof rom
Manqoba.
Me:
Howi
sshe?
Hecamet
ohol
dmywai
stf
rom behi
nd.
Hi
m:She'
sfi
nebutt
ir
ed.
Hesai
dasheputhi schi
nov
ermyshoulder
.He
waswatchi
ngmeasIwasdi shi
ngupt
hepap
i
ntodi
ff
erentpl
ates.

Him:Youremindmeofmygr andmother
ngendl
elawenzangay
olepapa(thewayyou'
re
di
shingthi
spap)
Il
aughedsof
tl
y.
Hepushedhi
msel
fagai
nstmybut
tandIf
elthi
s
er
ect
ion.
Me:
Real
l
y!?
Him:What ?Ukuk'bonanje,
kv ukanezi
nto
ey'
lel
esthandwasam.( Thesightofyou
awakenssleepingthi
ngs)
Il
aughed.
Thandowal
kedi
n.Muzi
kepthi
shandsar
ound
me.
Her
:Kdl
i
wani
laekhay
a?(
Whatar
eweeat
ing?
)
Me:
Kesal
ebusykaseshebo.(
I'
m st
il
lbusywi
th
t
herel
i
sh)
Muzi
:Ar
eyoust
il
lPi
l
char
dter
ianwena?
Il
aughed.
Her
:PES-
CE-
TA-
RI-
AN!
Me:You'r
eapescet
arianThando?Whydidn'
t
yousay?Idi
dn'
tnotdefrostt
hefi
shmina.
Her
:Ahi
t'
sokay
.I'
m goi
ngoutany
way
.
Hi
m:I
sit
?Howl
ovel
y.
Hesai
d.Sar
cast
ical
l
y.
Her
:Pl
ease.Mydar
li
ng.
Muzi l
aughedatt
hisi
mit
ati
onofhi
smot
her
's
accent.
Hi
m:Nicetr
y .Takeyoura*
*backint
ot hel
iv
ing
r
oom andordersomeseafood.I
'
llpay.Shesai
d
"
Mcii
m"andst ormedout.
Me:Ist
hishowy
ou'
regoi
ngt
otr
eatourbaby
gi
rl
?
Him:Thatoneisgoingt
oliveonMars.
Angimfunnj
earoundabafana.Idon'
tev
enwant
them br
eat
hingaroundher.
Il
aughed.(
Idon'
twantherar
oundboy
s)
Me:Butubusyngami l
aasifI
'm notsomebody
el
se'
schil
d..(You'
rebusywit
hme. .
)
Him:Exact
ly.Iknowwhatwe'
recapabl
eof
angi
thi
.
Il
aughedoutloudandsaid"
Mcii
m".Itookthe
woodenspoonandcheckedonmybeefst ew.
Manqoba'schoi
ce.He'si
nchar
geofthekitchen
buthasnotli
ft
edafinger
.It
ast
editandIwas
sat
isf
ied.

Iswi
tchedof
fthest
oveandMuzi
sai
dhe
thoughtI'dneverfini
sh.Wegotupstai
rsandhe
l
ockedt hedoor .(Removed).Whenwewer e
done,Ilaidonhi schestandkeptki
ssi
ngthetop
ofmyhead." Whenar ewegoinghouse
hunti
ng? "Heasked.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t43.

*
**Onemont
hlat
er*
**
EvelynandMabuy i
'
smot heri
nsistedt
hatshe
comesbackhomesot heywillbothbeableto
helpherraiset hebabysi nceit
'sherfi
rst.
Mabuy i
'smot heralsomadement ionofthefact
thatMuzi mightspi r
it
uallyaff
ectthebaby '
s
healt
handi mmunesy stem because"there'
s
anotherpersonhe' ssleepingwi t
hapartfrom
Gugulethu".Ifeltoff
endedbyt hisbutmymom
saysitworkst hesamewayi nourcultur
e.
Appar entl
ymenwer eprohibit
edf rom seeinga
newbabyi nt heol denday s.Muzi wi l
lnothav e
anyoft his.Shewast akenhomeandhewentt o
seehi ssonaf teraweekwher eashewast old
thatheshoul donl yseehi m aft
eramont h.He
can'tstopt alkingaboutOkuhl e.Thel ov
ehehas
forhissongi vesmemi xedemot ions.I'
m happy
he'spor t
rayinggr eatfatherlytr
aitsbutatt he
samet i
me, If eell
ikeI'm notwifeenoughf or
him sinceshegav ehim somet hingIhav en't .I
alwaysmakesur enott oentert
aint hisfeeling
becauseIam nowher enearreadyf orachi l
d.

Todayi
saThursdayandI'
m st
ruggl
i
ngtokeep
myeyesopen.Idon'
tknowwhenandhowI
zoomedoutbut.
..
MrMoko:
Mot
lhabane!
!
Ij
umpf r
om mydeskandwi
pemyey
es,
fr
ight
ened.
Hi
m:Myof
fi
ce.Now!
Inodmyheadner
vousl
yandimmediat
elyget
onmyfeet
.He'
salr
eadyoutofsi
ght
.
Amuapproacheswi
thhercoff
eemugandasks
i
nconcer
n."Swil
oyi
niwena?"(What
'sgoi
ngon
wi
thyou?
)
Iexhal
e.I
'
m honest
lyt
ir
ed.Inev
ersl
eepont
he
j
ob.
Shehandst hemugt omesay s"
Here.Youneed
thi
smor ethanIdo".Ismileandaskhertokeep
i
tformeasIgoat t
endmyhear i
ng.Shelaughs
andsays"Goodluck".Iscurr
yofftotheboss'
s
off
iceatonce.

Iwalkinandherai
seshiseyesunderhis
gl
assesfrom t
hefi
lehewasobserv i
ngand
fi
xesthem onme.Irushtotakeaseatand
i
mmedi atel
yapol
ogizeformyunprofessi
onal
behavi
our.
Me:
SirIam sososor
r.
.
Herai
seshi
shandandimmedi
atel
yshutmy
paphol
e.Hetakesof
fhi
sgl
assesandsqui
nts
bef
orehespeaks.
Hi
m:Boi
kokobet
so.
I
'mi nsh**
.Myj obi
soff
ici
all
yint
hepits.Mr
Mokonev ercall
shi
semployeesbyname
unlessheisreadyt
ofi
reorslapyouacrosst
he
facewithawr i
tt
enwar
ning.
Me:
SirIcanexpl
a..
.
Hepurseshi
sli
psi
nannoy
ance,
enoughforme
toeatandswal
l
owathi
ckandmult
i-
lay
ered
shut-
up.
Heexhal
es.
Him: Look,you'reoneofmyt rustedandv al
ued
employ eesifnotthemost .Butrecent
lyIhave
beenf eeli
nglikeyou'r
eslacki
ng.Wheny oufi
rst
walkedi nt
ot hisoff
iceaski
ngmef orajob,
ref
usingtospeakt onobodyel sebutt heCEO, I
knewr i
ghtthereandt hent hatthisisthekindof
energyIneedar oundher e.Andi ndeedy ou
nevertooktheoppor tuni
tyf orgranted.You
workedhard.Har derthanev erybodyel se
i
ncludingal
l t
heexecut iv
esi nthisof f
ice.You
wenttheextrami le.AndIjustknewt hatIdid
notmakeami stakewi t
hhi ri
ngy ouev enthough
youhadnoexper i
ence.

Myheadwasbowedi nshameasheut tered

thesewor ds.Theywer el i
keadaggeri nmy
heartregardl
essofal lthecompl ement shi s
paragraphwasl acedwi th.Thi sist hemoment
thatmademef eel l
i
keI 'mt urningi nt
ot hegirl
I
swor etoandagr eedwi thmy selfandIt hatwe
shallneverbecomeandmet astasizeint o.The
gir
lthatletsgoofherdr eamsf orandbecause
ofaman.I '
vebeensl acking.It'
st rue.Andi t
hurts.
MrMoko:
MOTLHABANE!
!
Ii
mmediat
elysnappedoutofi
t.Dammi
t
Remof
il
we!!
Iwasabouttospeakwhenhecutmeandsai d
"Idon'
twanttoheari t.I'
m putti
ngtheChampion
Healthcampaigniny ourhands.Iwanty out
o
managet hi
sprojectandputt hi
scompanyon
themap.Theyar erebr andingandtheywant
thei
rbrandtobeuni queandst andout
.MrMiles
i
snotaneasymant opl ease"
What
?Champi
onHeal
thi
sahugecompany
.
Me:
SirIcan'
t.
.
Him: I
fyoustopsleepingonyourselfyoucan
andy ouwill
.MakemeandMrMi lesproudand
may be,j
ustmaybe, y
oumi ghtfi
ndy ourselfas
theoffi
cial
proj
ectmanagerar oundher e.Now,
closethedoorony ourwayout."
Heputshi
sgl
assesbackonandswif
tl
ypull
s
hi
slapt
opscr
eenup.He'
sdonetal
ki
ng.Ipush
t
hechai
rbackandwal
kout
.

I
t'
sluncht
imeandIcan'
tgetMrMoko'
swor
ds
outofmyconf
usedhead.
Amu:
Ear
thcal
l
ingKokobet
so.
Shesays,
slowlywavi
ngherhandi nmyf ace.I
smil
e.Sheputsthepaperbagont hedeskand
shewheel
st henear
estchairandsit
snextto
me.
Her
:Youokay
?
Shesaysasshepullsthesandwichesoutand
twobottl
esofj
uice.Shetakestheseemingl
y
emptybagandlooksintoit
,taki
ngout
ser
viet
tesand2paperstraws.
Me:
I'
mjustt
ir
edy
ouknow.
Her
:Wannat
alkabouti
t?
Shesaysandpushesherspect
acl
esback,
fi
xi
ngthem.
Il
oveher.I
'
vemetkindandsweetpeoplebefor
e
butt
hisonewascutfr
om adiff
erentcl
oth.
She'
salsososi
mple.Wit
hherglassesand
neat
lycombedshor
thair
.Aplai
nJanedef i
ned.

Me:
Notr
eal
l
y.
Her
:Eversincey
ougotengagedy
ou'
vebeen
wei
rd.I
ncremental
l
y.
Shesaysandopenstheplasti
ccont
ainer
,
taki
ngouttwosli
cessandwichedwi
th
ham,cheeseandmayo.Iexhal
e.
Me:Youwoul
dtooi
fthel
oveofy
ourl
i
fewasi
n
l
ovewit
hanot
herwoman.
Shepopsherey eswitht
hebreadinmout has
shewasaboutt otakeabit
eandalmostchokes.
Shetakesitoutandsays"Chea.
.cheati
ng
al
ready!
?"Sheal most
edshoutedbutlowered
hervoi
cetowhi sper
.
Me:
Nohe'
snot
.He'
smar
ri
ed.I
t'
scompl
i
cat
ed.
Isayandfal
lbackonmychair
,car
elessl
y
all
owingmyheadtofal
lback.
Her
:Ani
k't
wisi
si(
Idon'
tunder
stand)
Me:I
t'
sal
ongst
ory
.Buti
nshor
t,we'
rebot
hhi
s
wi
ves.
Shewaslost.Compl
etel
y.ButIhadnoener
gy
tobeexpl
aini
ngthi
swholecircusIcal
lmyl
if
e.
Shest andsandsay s"We'l
ltalkwheny ou'
re
ready.Okay?"Putt
ingherhandonmyshoul der
.
Ifai
ntlysmileandputmi neov erher
s.She
makest wosubsequentkissingsounds,pi
cks
upherl unchandleavesforherdesk.Weal ways
knowwhent ogiveeachot herspace.

Final
ly.Igettoleave.ButIcan'
taf
fordtoget
excit
edbecauseIst i
llhav
eameet i
ngwithmy
weddingpl anner.Theseweddingprepar
ati
ons
aregoingtobet hedeathofme.Ir ushhome
andtakeaqui ckshower.Iputonapai rofbl
ack
l
eggingsandababybl uetanktop.Irushtot
he
ki
tchenandt akeoutmyl eftov
ermacand
cheesefrom thefri
dgeandputi ti
nt he
microwave,afteraddi
ngaf ewextralayer
sof
cheese.I
'm nothappywi t
hmyr ecenteati
ng
habit
s.

Myphoner ingsjustafterI
'm donesetti
ngt he
ti
meront hemi crowaveandIr usht oanswerit.
"Heybaby".Isayexcitedl
y.I'
vemi ssedhim so
muchbecausehe' sbeeninandoutofmeet i
ngs
sincethi
sdayst art
edsowecoul dn'tt
alk.We
don'tt
alkasmuchaswedi dsincehe'sbackat
theoffi
cenow.Ful lt
ime.
Hi
m:Heyy
ou.
Icanf
eel
hissmi
l
eov
ert
hephone.
Me:
Unj
ani
?
Him:Yoh!Ngidi
ngai
massagef
rom asetofv
ery
speci
alhands.
Il
augh.Helovesmymassages.Justasmuch
asIl
ovehis.
Me:
Arey
oudonef
ort
heday
?
Him: Iwi
sh.I'
m headingtot hesit
einafew
minutes.There'
saf ewthingsorshouldIsay
peopleIneedt osortoutthere.Andtheworse
partaboutall
oft hi
sisthat,I'
m notgoi
ngtofi
nd
youwhenIgethome.
Me:
Aw,
I'
m sor
rybaby
.Iwi
sht
her
ewa.
.
Ihearadr
amaticknockonmydoorbef
oreIcan
fi
nishmysent
ence.
Me:Ihav
etogobaby
.Ther
e'ssomebodyatt
he
door
.

"
Ahhhhhh!
!!
!!
!!
!"Iscr
eam att
hesi
ghtofhi
m.
Hi
m:EhLabant
wanabawr
ongo
EhLabant
wanaamauber
EhLabant
wanaamadumani
Ehbay
ithat
habay
ifakaemakhal
eni
,
bay
ithat
habay
ifakaemakhal
eni
bay
’user
.
i
Yeboo!!
"
Me:
Heengal
alami
na
Hi
m:Heengav
ukami
na
Me:Heebat
hugezel
eki
tchen.Okuwor
se
endi
shi
n.
Hi
m:Ngev
asl
aapkamamncan
Weburstoutlaughi
ngaft
erthatper
formance
l
iket
heidiot
sweal way
sturnintowheneverwe
aret
ogether
.Het hr
owshishandsaroundme
andIhughim back.
Me:
OMGwhydi
dn'
tyout
ell
mey
ou'
rehome.
Hi
m:God!!
!Youhav
enoi
deahowmuchI
'
ve
mi
ssedyourf
atass
Ii
mmedi
atel
ypushhi
m away
.
Me:
Myf
atass?
Icoul
dfeel
tear
sfi
l
li
ngupt
hewel
l
sofmyey
es.
Apuzzl
edy
etconcer
nedl
ookgr
ewonhi
sface
Him:Fri
endIal
wayscal
lyoufatbuti
t'
snevera
bi
gdeal.ThesameyousayIhavebigear
sbutI
nevert
akeitt
ohear
t.Ar
ey ouokay?
He'sri
ght
.Idon'tev
enknowwhyI '
m evencr
ying.
Iwipemytearsandlookathim.Wetakeafew
secondsandthenexplodei
ntofi
tsofl
aught
er.

Hef i
nal
lywalksinandsays"D**kdefi
ciency
syndrome.Otshwerekematswaimus"(You'r
e
experi
enci
nghighlevel
sofsalt
).Il
aughedat
howhemov edfrom '
Marasmus'to
'
Mat swai
mus'.
Hethr
owshisent
ir
eselfonthecouchand
t
akesther
emotecont
rol.Iwal
kbackint
othe
ki
tchenandsay"CapeTownlit
erall
yfal
l
sinl
ove
wi
thy ouev
eryyear.Bonacomplexi
on"
Hel aughsandsay s"Nodar l
ing.Webat h.It
'sa
normt hatside".Iwasaboutt oclapbackwhenI
receivedanot herknockont hedoor .Thatmust
bemyweddi ngpl anner.Iwalkov ertothedoor
withthemacTupper wareinonehandanda
forkint heot her.Iwal kasIeatandf i
nall
ygetto
thedoor .Iwasaboutt ogreetbef oreheshov ed
hisaquaf il
einmyhandsandt ookmyf ood,
l
ettinghi msel fin.Tumi mov edhi seyesfrom hi
s
phoneandi mmedi atel
ystoodup, ext
endinghis
handf orahandshake.
Hi
m:Thenamei
sBoi
tumel
o!Your
sel
f?
He'
sseeinghi
snex
tvi
cti
m.Iknowt
hisl
ookon
hi
sface.
Tlhogigr
eetedhim backwiththesameenergy
andsaidit'
sapleasuretomeethim.Their
handshaketooklongerthanitl
egall
yshoul
d
until
Isai
d"Ofcourse.Tur
nmypl
acei
ntol
i
ve
Tinderwhydon'
tyou?"
Tlhogifi
nall
y,slowlyletgoofTumi'
shandsaid
"Rii
i
ii
ii
ightbri
ii
ide!Let'
sgettoworkshal
lwe?".
Theyst i
ll
hadt heirf
li
rtyeyesonl
ockedineach
other.
Irol
ledmyey
esi
nannoy
anceandt
ookmyf
ood
back.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
**

Iendedupsl eepingyester
dayafterhavi
ngmy
l
at elunch.Myv isit
orstooknonot i
ceofthi
s
becauset heywer ebothpreoccupiedwitheach
other.Tumi sleptoverandIspentt hewhol
e
nighttryi
ngtogethi mt ounderst
andt hi
swhole
si
t uati
onwithMuz i,
ancestor
s,Guguand
everythi
nginbet ween.Hest i
lldi
dnotgetitbut
endedt heconv ersationwi t
h"Thissomebl ack
voodoos* **tbuti fyou'recomfor t
ablewit
hit
I'
m notgoingt ojudgey ou.I'
m mor e
comf ort
ablewi t
hhi swal let
".Il
aughedandsai d
Ican'tbel
ievehi m.Hi scomebackt othatwas
"EvenMakhadzi saidi t
,munnaanaki unaka
tshikwama"(Di r
ectt ranslat
ion:Amancan
nev erbeprett
y.Onl yhispocketcandot hat.
)
Weendedupf all
ingasl eepont hecouchafter
allhismadness.Hel eftthismor ningwhenIhad
togot owor k.

Wor kwasnor mal.MrMokowasnoti ntoday.

Hebar el
ycomest ot
heofficeonFr idayswhi ch
wasmyl uckbecauseIunintent i
onallyfell
asleepagainonmydesk, agai n!Muzi call
edme
aroundlunchandt ol
dmehe' sar oundandt hat
he'l
lcomef et
chmeaf t
erhe'sdonewi thhis
meet i
ngsatMal oCon.Thecal lwasr ushedsoI
knewhewasr eall
ybusy.Icoul dn'tcontainmy
exci
tement
.Isuddenlyf
eltl
i
ket
imewasnot
movingasi
tnormallydoes.

Knock-
offtimefi
nal
lyhitandItr
iedcal
li
nghi m.
Tomydi sappoi
ntment,
hisphonewasof f.Ihel
d
asmallcryi
ngsessi
onint hel
oobeforeleavi
ng
work.I
fthismannolongerlovesmeheshoul d
j
ustsayso.
AfterImanagedt opull myselftogether,It
ook
myt hingsandwentoutt othenear est
McDonal ds.Nomat terhowmuchIt ryto
suspendandi gnorethecr avi
ngf ortheir
chi
ckenf oldov er,
Ialway sandev entuall
ygi v
e
i
nt oit.Igott hereandpl acedmyor der,
i
ncludingt wobi gmacsandt heirchicken
nugget s.Hecal ledmeandIr ejectedhiscal l
.He
sentmeat extsay i
ng" Phendula"(Answer )
.
Controlli
ngpr ick.
Hecal
l
edtwi
cebef
oreIf
inal
l
ydeci
dedt
otake
hi
scal
l.
Me:
Whatdoy
ouwant
?
Heshar
plyr
epl
i
ed"
Angi
zwa?
"(Excuseme?
)
Ikeptqui
et.
Hi
m:Ukuphi
?(Wher
ear
eyou?
)
Her
:Ey
'ndaweni
zami
(Mypl
aces)
Him:Yonkelenyovadam leuyi
yenzayoyi
appl
icati
onyokukhalasthandwasam andI'
m
goi
ngt oappr
oveit.(
Allt
hismessy ou'
redoing
i
sanappl i
cat
iontocry.
..
)
Hecal
mlysai
d.He'snotev
enapol
ogi
zi
ngfor
hi
swrongdoi
ngs.Ideci
dedtohol
dontomy
si
l
ence.
Hi
m:Wher
ear
eyou?
Hi
m:Actual
ly,
sendmey
ourl
ocat
ionkhona
manj
e.(
Rightnow)
Iwasaboutt
orepl
ywhenhecutt
hecall
.I'
m not
hi
spuppetandhe'
sgonnaknowt
hist
oday.

"
Ojewakebodut
u?"
(Youl
ookl
onel
y?)
Iraisedmyey
esf
rom myphone,
fol
l
owi
ngt
his
voice.
Ismi
l
edawkwar
dlyandsai
dno.
Hi
m:Wai
ti
ngf
orsomebody?
Me:
NoI
'
mjustwai
ti
ngf
ormyor
der
.
Canhej
ustgoawayal
ready
?Yohhe'
staki
nga
seat
.
Hi
m: Whatev
eri
sont
hatphonemustbe
i
nter
est
ing.
Bathongwena.Ithoughttomy sel
f.I
ttakesalot
formetoberudet oaper son.Hehasn'tmetthe
requi
rement
sy etsoIjustsmileawkwar dl
yand
say"Nahnotreall
y".
Hi
m:Buty
oul
ookf
ami
l
iarman.
Iknewthi
spl
anBquest
ionwascomi
ng.What
's
real
lywr
ongwit
hmen?
Me:
Ido?
Hi
m: Aren'tyouoneoftheladiesthatorgani
zed
myniece'sbirt
hdaypart
y?Wi ththeFrozen
t
heme?Thedayi trai
nedandpeopl ethoughtit
woul
dbeov erbutyal
limpr
ov isedandtookit
i
ndoorsinstead?AtFlor
aPar k?
Nowt hathementi
onsi
t,i
tisnott
hef
ir
stt
ime
I
'm seei
ngthi
sface.
Me:OhhIrememberyou.Youwerealotofhel
p
wi
thyourvant
hatday
.Forfreenogal
.I'
m st
il
l
gr
atef
ul.
Isai
dandsmi
l
ed
Hi
m:Ar
g,any
thi
ngf
ormyni
ece
Ar
g.He'ssosweet
.Wecontinuedtal
ki
ngand
l
aughi
ngunti
lInot
icedt
hathisatt
enti
onmoved
t
osomet
hingt
hatwasbehi
ndme.

IturnedmyheadandIwasmetbyMuzi 's
unimpr essedf ace.Uni mpr essedbutcal m as
alway s.Hehel dmyshoul dersandki ssedmy
cheek.Theguyst oodupandext endedhi shand
foragr eeting.Muzi lookedati t,
backathi m
andj ustsai d" Sawubona" .Theguyshamef ull
y
retr
act edhi shandanddar t
edhi sey esar ound.
Onlyt hendi dMuzi extendhi shandsay i
ng" Her
husband.Andy ouar e?"
.Theguygr eet edback
andsai d" James.Pl easedt omeety ou.You
haveabeaut i
fulwife.Whatdoy ouf eedher ?
Hergl owssay sal ot".OhmyGodhe' sbl abbing.
Themy ötähäpeäIwasexper iencingcoul dnot
bedescr ibed.
Muzi
:WhatdoIf
eedher
?
Hisfacesai
dhewasconf
usedbythi
squest
ion.
Cathadcaughtt
heguy
'st
ongue.
Muzi
agai
n:Goodd*
*k.I
s**
de.That
'swhatI
f
eedher
EARTHSWALLOW MENOW!

UNEDI
TED.

I
nser
t44.

Thelev el
ofembar r
assmenthangi ngovermy
headwoul dbr eakascale.Theguyexcused
hi
msel fandMuzi watchedhi m wal
kawayt il
lhe
wasoutofsi ghtandthent ookaseat.Ijust
l
ookedathi m andst oodupt ogocoll
ectmy
order.Iwalkedoutoft heshopandhef oll
owed
meout .Whoev ermighthav ebeenwatchingus
probablythinkshe'sharassingmeort hatwe
bothhav eaf ewscrewsl oose.
Hestoppedmeoutsi
deoft
heshopandasked
t
otakemyt hi
ngs.
Hi
m: I
thi
ngi
k'phat
hise?(
Letmehel
pyoucar
ry
t
hese)
Iwasstruggli
ngtocar
ryt
hepaperbag,my
handbagandl apt
opbagal
latoncebutIwasn'
t
goingtoall
owhi mtomani
pulat
eme.
Me:
I'
ll
manage.
Hi
m:Lenkaniewunayoayi
zosebenzal
aki
mina.
(
Yourst
ubbor
nnessisnotgoi
ngtoworkwi
th
me)
Iexhaledandl ookedaway .Howcouldhespeak
tomel ikethat?Myt earswentaheadofme
befor
eIcoul dgr antthem t
heper mi
ssi
onto.A
concernedlookgr ewonhi sface.Hetook
every
thingfrom meandi nst
ructedmethatwe
gotohi scar.Ifoll
owedhi m.
Heputev er
ythi
nginthebackseatandcamet o
openthedoorforme.Igoti nandhealsodid
thesameshor t
lyaf
terwards.Il
ookedbuthis
enti
reupperbodywasf acingmydirect
ion.
Hi
m:Mkami
?
If
ixedmyey
esout
side.
Him:Babywhat'
sgoingon?Besir
ightafew
hoursagokodwamanjeuvuthaamalangabe.
Ngenzen?(
..
.nowyou'r
efl
aminginanger.What
haveIdone?)
Me: I
'dreal
lyappreciat
eiti
fyouhadtol
dme
thatyourfeel
ingschangedtowardsmeinst
ead
ofleavi
ngmehangi ng.
I
mmedi
ateconf
usi
onf
ell
uponhi
sface.
Him:Whatar
ey ou.
.?Myfeel
i
ngs?Ukhul
uma
ngan?
(Whatareyoutal
ki
ngabout
?)
Me:Youcould'
vej
usttol
dmet hatyoudon'
t
l
ovemeany morei
nsteadofswitchi
ngyour
phoneof
fwhenyouweresupposedt
obe
fet
chi
ngmefrom wor
k.
Helaughed.Thi
smanistest
ingmypat
ience
andI'
m quart
ertoer
upt
ing.
Hi
m:Baby
?
Hewasst il
llaughing.Ilookedaway .Hetook
myhandi ntobot hofhi sandsai d
"Sthandwasam.Mybat t
erydi ed.Icall
edy ou
i
mmedi atel
yaf terIgottot hehot elubonile
nawei twasj ustaf ewmi nutesaf t
ery ourknock
offtime".Hecoul dn'tevenar ticul
atehi s
thoughtsproper lybecausehecoul dn'
tstop
l
aughi ng.Thet earsagai n!Iwi pedthem andhe
sawt his.Hei mmedi atelystoppedl aughing.
Hetookmei nhi
shands,sti
ll
conf
used.Icr
ied
l
ouder.Heheldmeti
ghter.

Hi
m:Hawungi
yaxol
i
sababyIdidn'
tknowthat
mybat
ter
ydyi
ngwouldhur
tyouthi
sway(I
'
m
sor
ry)
Me:
30mi
nut
esi
snot"af
ewmi
nut
es"
Him: Ngiyazi
.Ngiyaxol
isanjesthandwasami.
Ngixolel
ephela.Ngizoilahl
alephoneIcan't
al
lowi ttohurtyouthisway.(Iknow.I'
m sorr
y
myl ove.Forgi
veme.I '
m goingtothrowthis
phoneaway .
..
)
Ishotoutalaughandmov edmybodyfr
om hi
s.
Isatbackonmyseatandwi pedmytear
s.He
waslookingme,smil
ing.
Il
ookedathim andtol
dhimI'm hungr
y.He
pul
ledthepaperbagwithhi
slefthandfr
om t
he
backseatandgaveitt
ome.
Itookoutthefol
doverandbeganeati
ng.He
wasst i
ll
looki
ngatme, mor
elikest
udyi
ngme.I
gotabituncomfort
ableandaskedhim"What
?"
withfoodinmymout h.
Hewidenedhi
ssmi
l
eandasked"
Uri
ght
manj
e?"
Inodded.Hesai
dokayandbegandr
ivi
ng.
Whileont heroad,heasked" Areyougoingto
f
ini
shal lofthat?
"Ithinnedmyey esand
f
rowned.Heendedt heconv ersat
ionbysaying
"
Ngi y
adlala.
"(I
'm ki
dding).Icli
ckedmyt onguein
i
rri
tati
onandcont i
nuedeat i
ng.

Hedrovetohi
shotelbecauseheapparentl
y
hadworktodoandlefthi
slaptopt
here.Wegot
ther
eandhetookoffhist-
shi
rtandshoes
sayi
nghe'
sheati
ngup.Hewasbar efoot,l
efti
n
j
usthisj
eans.
Me:
Ineedashower
.If
eel
sti
cky
.
Hi
m:Youdon'
thav
etoaskbaby
.
Hesaidashetookhisl
aptopandsunkdownon
t
hesingl
ecouchintheroom,wit
hhisknees
r
aisedandheel
soffthefl
oor.
Itookof fmyclothesandwentintotakeacol d
shower .Inevert
akecoldshowersbutIfeltI
neededi t.I
twasgodforsakenel
yhot.Igotdone
andwor ethet-
shir
thetookoffandaskedhi m
forcl
eanunder wear.Helaughedanddirected
met ohi ssuit
casebypointi
ngwithhiseyes.I
tookitoutandwor eit.Herai
sedhiseyesfrom
hisscreenandbi thi
slowerli
p.
Him:Il
ovehowy
ourassf
il
lst
hatup.Andt
hat
hol
e?Lord!
Ilaughed.Hewasr eferri
ngtomybul l
ethole.I
threwmyt owelonhi
m andheduckedwhi l
e
l
aughi ng.Itol
dhimtof ocusandthrewmysel f
ont hebed.Ikeptponder i
ngoverMrMoko' s
wor ds.Ididn'
tknowwhet hert
ellMuziornot
becausehewant smet oquitmyjob.Hehas
saiditinsomanywor ds.Mythoughtsushered
mei ntosleepasIlayonmyst omach.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
*

Thatnapt ur
nedi ntomesl i
ppingi ntoa
compl etecoma.Isl eptar ound5butwhenI
wokeupandcheckedt het i
mei twas23h10.I
had2mi ssedcal l
sf r
om mymot herand1f rom
anunknownnumber .Whydi dn'
tMuzi wakeme
up?Ical ledmom backt wicebutshedi dn't
answer .Igaveup.Iwaswor ri
edbutcal l
i
nga
per soncountlesstimeswi l
lnotmaket heir
phoner inganyl ouder.Thedoort othebal cony
wasopenandcur t
ainwasdanci ng, al
lowingt he
freshestofall ai
rtocruiset hroughandcar ess
myski n.Igotupandwal kedt herebar efoot .He
raisedhisheadf r
om hisphoneandsmi l
edat
measIappr oached.

Iwentt
osi
tonhi
sthi
gh,
par
ti
nghi
slegswi
th
mylowerbody .Iputmyheadonshoulder
.He
tookhisphoneandputitonthet
ablesohe
couldwraphisarmsaroundme."Youokay?"He
soft
lysai
d.
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.Ij
ustwanty
out
ohol
dme.
Iwokeupf eel
i
ngabitdownandIhadno
reasont
oaccountfori
t.Mymom'scal
lsdi
dnot
aidandsuccormycaseinanywayal
so.
Heexhal
edandt
ight
enedhi
swr
apar
oundme.
Me:
Ojel
e?(
Hav
eyoueat
en?
)
Hi
m: Yeah.Ikepty
ourfoodforyou.Ij
ustdidn'
t
wanttodist
urbyou.Youlookedsopeaceful.
If
aint
lyl
aughed.Thensi
l
ence.

Him:Youknowy oucant
alkt
omeabout
anyt
hing.Ri
ght
?
Me:
Iknow.
Isai
d,fi
xi
ngmyheadonmypi l
low,
hisshoul
der
.
Iexhal
edbef
oreIcoul
dspeak.
Me:
Mybosswant
smet
obei
nchar
..
.
Myphoner angbef
oreIcoul
dfi
nishmy
sentence.Iimmedi
atel
yknewthatitwasmy
mom becauseI '
vesetacust
omizedtonefor
her.

Igotupandwentt
oat
tendt
oit
.
Me:
Hel
l
omama.
Her:
Remof i
lwe!Lebusykaengmowel esa
ar
abelediphone?(
Whatareyoubusywithso
muchthatyoudon'tanswery
ourphones?)
Shesai
d,agi
tat
ed.
Me:
Iwassl
eepi
ngmamaaski
i
es.What
'swr
ong?
Her:Whyi
syoursi
ster
'sphoneof
f?Mof
e
phone(
Giv
eherthephone)
Me:
MangKgant
sho?Boi
kgant
shohagonamo.
Her:Fi
l
weKgant
sholef
tthishousear
ound4
say
ingshe'
sonherwaythere.
Me:
Geor
ether
eyoumeanmypl
ace?
Her
:Yesdammi
t.
Ifel
tmyint
est
inesl
igat
ingi
nbet
ween
themsel
vesi
ntoafastknot
!
Me:Ihaven'
tspokentoKgant
shoinoveraweek
mamaandshenev ert
oldmeanyt
hingabout
cominghere.
Her
:Fi
l
we?
Shesai
d.She'
sami
nut
eawayf
rom pani
cki
ng.
Me:
Mama?
Myhearti
sswimmingi
nice.Wherei
smysi
ster
?
Iaskedmysel
fasMuziwalkedi
nwit
hworr
y
smearedal
lov
erhi
sface.
I
nser
t44.
Thelev el
ofembar r
assmenthangi ngovermy
headwoul dbr eakascale.Theguyexcused
hi
msel fandMuzi watchedhi m wal
kawayt il
lhe
wasoutofsi ghtandthent ookaseat.Ijust
l
ookedathi m andst oodupt ogocoll
ectmy
order.Iwalkedoutoft heshopandhef oll
owed
meout .Whoev ermighthav ebeenwatchingus
probablythinkshe'sharassingmeort hatwe
bothhav eaf ewscrewsl oose.

Hestoppedmeoutsi
deoft
heshopandasked
t
otakemyt hi
ngs.
Hi
m: I
thi
ngi
k'phat
hise?(
Letmehel
pyoucar
ry
t
hese)
Iwasstruggli
ngtocar
ryt
hepaperbag,my
handbagandl apt
opbagal
latoncebutIwasn'
t
goingtoall
owhi mtomani
pulat
eme.
Me:
I'
ll
manage.
Hi
m:Lenkaniewunayoayi
zosebenzal
aki
mina.
(
Yourst
ubbor
nnessisnotgoi
ngtoworkwi
th
me)
Iexhaledandl ookedaway .Howcouldhespeak
tomel ikethat?Myt earswentaheadofme
befor
eIcoul dgr antthem t
heper mi
ssi
onto.A
concernedlookgr ewonhi sface.Hetook
every
thingfrom meandi nst
ructedmethatwe
gotohi scar.Ifoll
owedhi m.

Heputev er
ythi
nginthebackseatandcamet o
openthedoorforme.Igoti nandhealsodid
thesameshor t
lyaf
terwards.Il
ookedbuthis
enti
reupperbodywasf acingmydirect
ion.
Hi
m:Mkami
?
If
ixedmyey
esout
side.
Him:Babywhat'
sgoingon?Besir
ightafew
hour
sagokodwamanj euvuthaamalangabe.
Ngenzen?(
..
.nowyou'r
efl
aminginanger.What
hav
eIdone?
)
Me: I
'dreal
lyappreciat
eiti
fyouhadtol
dme
thatyourfeel
ingschangedtowardsmeinst
ead
ofleavi
ngmehangi ng.
I
mmedi
ateconf
usi
onf
ell
uponhi
sface.
Him:Whatar
ey ou.
.?Myfeel
i
ngs?Ukhul
uma
ngan?
(Whatareyoutal
ki
ngabout
?)
Me: Youcould'
vejusttol
dmet hatyoudon'
t
l
ovemeany moreinsteadofswitchi
ngyour
phoneoffwheny ouwer esupposedtobe
fet
chingmef rom work.
Helaughed.Thi
smanistest
ingmypat
ience
andI'
m quart
ertoer
upt
ing.
Hi
m:Baby
?
Hewasst i
lll
aughi
ng.Il
ookedaway.Hetook
myhandintobothofhisandsai
d
"
Sthandwasam.Mybat t
erydi
ed.Ical
ledyou
i
mmedi at
elyaft
erIgott
othehoteluboni
l
e
nawei twasjustafewmi nutesaft
eryourknock
offti
me" .Hecouldn'
tevenarti
cul
atehis
thought spr
operl
ybecausehecouldn'tstop
l
aughi ng.Thetear
sagain!Iwipedthem andhe
sawt his.Heimmediatel
ystoppedlaughing.
Hetookmei nhi
shands,sti
ll
conf
used.Icr
ied
l
ouder.Heheldmeti
ghter.

Him:Hawungi
yaxol
i
sababyIdidn'
tknowthat
mybatter
ydyi
ngwouldhur
tyouthi
sway(I
'
m
sorr
y)
Me:
30mi
nut
esi
snot"af
ewmi
nut
es"
Him: Ngiyazi
.Ngiyaxol
isanjesthandwasami.
Ngixolel
ephela.Ngizoilahl
alephoneIcan't
al
lowi ttohurtyouthisway.(Iknow.I'
m sorr
y
myl ove.Forgi
veme.I '
m goingtothrowthis
phoneaway .
..
)
Ishotoutal
aughandmovedmybodyfr
om hi
s.
Isatbackonmyseatandwi
pedmytear
s.He
wasl
ooki
ngme,
smi
l
ing.
Il
ookedathim andtol
dhimI'm hungr
y.He
pul
ledthepaperbagwithhi
slefthandfr
om t
he
backseatandgaveitt
ome.
Itookoutthefol
doverandbeganeati
ng.He
wasst i
ll
looki
ngatme, mor
elikest
udyi
ngme.I
gotabituncomfort
ableandaskedhim"What
?"
withfoodinmymout h.
Hewidenedhi
ssmi
l
eandasked"
Uri
ght
manj
e?"
Inodded.Hesai
dokayandbegandr
ivi
ng.
Whileont heroad,heasked" Areyougoingto
f
ini
shal lofthat?
"Ithinnedmyey esand
f
rowned.Heendedt heconv ersat
ionbysaying
"
Ngi y
adlala.
"(I
'm ki
dding).Icli
ckedmyt onguein
i
rri
tati
onandcont i
nuedeat i
ng.

Hedr
ovet
ohi
shot
elbecauseheappar
ent
ly
hadworktodoandlef
thi
slaptopt
here.Wegot
ther
eandhetookof
fhist
-shi
rtandshoes
sayi
nghe'
sheati
ngup.Hewasbarefoot,
lef
tin
j
usthisj
eans.
Me:
Ineedashower
.If
eel
sti
cky
.
Hi
m:Youdon'
thav
etoaskbaby
.
Hesaidashetookhisl
aptopandsunkdownon
t
hesingl
ecouchintheroom,wit
hhisknees
r
aisedandheel
soffthefl
oor.

Itookof fmyclothesandwentintotakeacol d
shower .Inevert
akecoldshowersbutIfeltI
neededi t.I
twasgodforsakenel
yhot.Igotdone
andwor ethet-
shir
thetookoffandaskedhi m
forcl
eanunder wear.Helaughedanddirected
met ohi ssuit
casebypointi
ngwithhiseyes.I
tookitoutandwor eit.Herai
sedhiseyesfrom
hisscreenandbi thi
slowerli
p.
Hi
m:Il
ovehowy
ourassf
il
lst
hatup.Andt
hat
hol
e?Lor
d!
Ilaughed.Hewasr eferri
ngtomybul l
ethole.I
threwmyt owelonhi
m andheduckedwhi l
e
l
aughi ng.Itol
dhimtof ocusandthrewmysel f
ont hebed.Ikeptponder i
ngoverMrMoko' s
wor ds.Ididn'
tknowwhet hert
ellMuziornot
becausehewant smet oquitmyjob.Hehas
saiditinsomanywor ds.Mythoughtsushered
mei ntosleepasIlayonmyst omach.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
*

Thatnapturnedi
ntomesl i
ppi
ngintoa
complet
ecoma.Isleptaround5butwhenI
wokeupandcheckedt heti
meitwas23h10.I
had2mi ssedcal
l
sf r
om mymot herand1from
anunknownnumber .Whydidn'
tMuziwakeme
up?Ical
ledmom backt wi
cebutshedidn'
t
answer .Igaveup.Iwaswor r
iedbutcal l
i
nga
per soncountl
esstimeswi ll
notmaket heir
phoner inganylouder.Thedoort othebal cony
wasopenandcur t
ainwasdanci ng,al
lowingt he
freshestofallai
rtocruisethroughandcar ess
myski n.Igotupandwal kedtherebarefoot .He
raisedhisheadf r
om hisphoneandsmi l
edat
measIappr oached.

Iwenttositonhisthi
gh,par
ti
nghisl
egswith
mylowerbody .Iputmyheadonshoulder
.He
tookhisphoneandputitonthet
ablesohe
couldwraphisarmsaroundme."Youokay?"He
soft
lysai
d.
Me:
I'
mfi
ne.Ij
ustwanty
out
ohol
dme.
Iwokeupf eel
i
ngabitdownandIhadno
reasont
oaccountfori
t.Mymom'scal
lsdi
dnot
aidandsuccormycaseinanywayal
so.
Heexhal
edandt
ight
enedhi
swr
apar
oundme.
Me:
Ojel
e?(
Hav
eyoueat
en?
)
Hi
m: Yeah.Ikepty
ourfoodforyou.Ij
ustdidn'
t
wanttodist
urbyou.Youlookedsopeaceful.
If
aint
lyl
aughed.Thensi
l
ence.

Him:Youknowy oucant
alkt
omeabout
anyt
hing.Ri
ght
?
Me:
Iknow.
Isai
d,fi
xi
ngmyheadonmypi l
low,
hisshoul
der
.
Iexhal
edbef
oreIcoul
dspeak.
Me:
Mybosswant
smet
obei
nchar
..
.
Myphoner angbef
oreIcoul
dfi
nishmy
sentence.Iimmedi
atel
yknewthatitwasmy
mom becauseI '
vesetacust
omizedtonefor
her.

Igotupandwentt
oat
tendt
oit
.
Me:
Hel
l
omama.
Her:
Remof i
lwe!Lebusykaengmowel esa
ar
abelediphone?(
Whatareyoubusywithso
muchthatyoudon'tanswery
ourphones?)
Shesai
d,agi
tat
ed.
Me:
Iwassl
eepi
ngmamaaski
i
es.What
'swr
ong?
Her:Whyi
syoursi
ster
'sphoneof
f?Mof
e
phone(
Giv
eherthephone)
Me:
MangKgant
sho?Boi
kgant
shohagonamo.
Her:Fi
l
weKgant
sholef
tthishousear
ound4
say
ingshe'
sonherwaythere.
Me:
Geor
ether
eyoumeanmypl
ace?
Her
:Yesdammi
t.
Ifel
tmyint
est
inesl
igat
ingi
nbet
ween
themsel
vesi
ntoafastknot
!
Me:Ihav
en'
tspokentoKgant
shoinoveraweek
mamaandshenev ert
oldmeanyt
hingabout
comi
ngher
e.
Her
:Fi
l
we?
Shesai
d.She'
sami
nut
eawayf
rom pani
cki
ng.
Me:
Mama?
Myhearti
sswimmingi
nice.Wherei
smysi
ster
?
Iaskedmysel
fasMuziwalkedi
nwit
hworr
y
smearedal
lov
erhi
sface.

UNEDI
TED.
UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t45.

Ican'
thel
pbutfeelmybloodfr
eezi
ngand
fr
osti
ngovert
his.WhywouldKgantshowantt
o
comeallt
hewayher eandnotsayaword?
Me:Maletmeseei
fIcan'
tfi
ndher
.Ifnott
hen
we'
recal
li
ngt
hepol
ice.
Icutt
hecal
landsuddenl
ygr
oundt
oahal
t.
Muzi
:Babywhat
'swr
ong?
Il
ookedathi m blankl
yandsunkdownont he
edgeoft hebed.Iquickl
ycamebackt omy
sensesanddi al
ledKgantsho'
snumber.I
twas
sti
ll
off.Ical
ledtheunknownnumberwi t
h
desperatehopet hati
tmightbeher
.Itwasa
'
wrongnumber '
.Dammi t
!

Muzi
camet
osi
tbesi
demeandl
ookedatme.
Him:Ngekengikwaziukukusizamengabe
awungi
tshel
iukuthikwenzakalani(
Ican'
thel
p
youi
fyoudon'ttel
lmewhat 'sgoingon?)
Me:
Ithi
nkmysi
steri
smi
ssi
ng.
Hebithi
supperli
p.Hedoesthi
swhenhe's
t
hinki
ngofasolut
iontoaprobl
em athand.
Hi
m:Whatmakesy
out
hinkshe'
smi
ssi
ng?
Me:
Shel
efthomear
ound4onherwayher
e.I
sti
l
lhaven'
trecei
vedanycal
lfr
om herandshe
nevert
oldmeshe'scoming.
Him:Maybe.
..may
beshewentt
oseea
boyf
ri
endorsomethi
ng.
Me:She'
smar r
ied.Besi
des,
Ithi
nkIwoul
dknow
abouti
tifshewascheati
ng.
Heexhaled.Hethentookhi
sphoneanddi
all
ed.
Heputitonloudspeaker
.

MQ:
Gaz'
l
am
MK:
Sho.Ugr
and?
MQ:YeahI
'
mfi
ne.Ican'
tsayy
ousoundt
he
same.
MK: I
sitpossi
blef
ory
out
otr
ackaphoneev
en
i
fit
'soff?
MQ:YeahbutI
t'
ll
takel
onger.Awuzang'
umt
holeuSphangal
esaskhathi
?
MK:
Noubabyur
ight
.It
'shersi
sthat
'smi
ssi
ng.
MQ:
Sincewhen?
MK:
Around4.
MQ: Uhm.
.ng'
sendelei
numberyakheandask
Sphathemodelofthephoneshe'
susi
ngto
saveti
me.
Me:
iPhone8pl
us.
MQ:
Ayay
aya
Hesai
d.Thi
sisnotwhathewant
edt
ohear
.
Me:
Youwon'
tbeabl
etof
indher
?
Him:NoIwill
.Iwasjusthopingt
hatshe'
susi
ng
andr
oidbecauseit
squickertomaneuver
comparedtoIOS.Especi
all
ybecausei
tisof
f.
Iputmyhandov
ermymout
h.Idon'
tknowhow
I'
mf eel
i
ng.
MQ:Yazi
n?Giv
emeanhour
.Max.Sphasend
t
henumber.
Hesai
dandcutt
hecal
l
.

Isenthim mysist
er'
snumber
.Yi
sei
mmedi
atel
y
hadalightbul
bmomentandaskedmei
fmy
si
sterdri
ves.
Me: YeahbutIdoubtshewasusi nghercar
todaybecauseshesaidsomet hingabouther
carburet
orandmechanicgivingherhassles.
Shehadt ousepubli
ctransport.Thatwasa
weekago.
Him:It
'swort
hashot
.Askyourmom.Ifwefi
nd
hercarthenwe'
l
lmostpr
obabl
yfi
ndhertoo.
Icall
edmymom i mmediat
elyandasked.She
saidshetookataxi
.Ar
gdammi t
.Itol
dherthat
I'
m call
i
ngthepoli
ceandshesaidokay.She
wassev er
elydownandcoul
dn'thidei
t.

Muzi
askedmet
owai
tforManqobat
ocal
l
beforewecancal
lthecops.Isai
dokay
.Whi
ch
broughtt
omet ot
hequestion.
Me:
WhatdoesManqobadof
oral
i
ving?
Hi
m:Uhm.
.why
?
Me:
I'
mjustcur
ious.
Him:He'
sanI.Tgur
u.Heusedt
oworkf
or
Tel
kom butqui
t2year
sagowhenhest
art
edhi
s
ownthi
ng.
Me:
Ownt
hing?Tr
acki
ngpeopl
e?
Him:Nothat'
smor
eli
keasi
dehust
le.He'
sa
hacki
ngwizar
d.
Aprofessi
onal hacker
?Idon'
tthi
nkIl
ikethe
soundofthis.Sohe'stheonewhoalwaysgives
Muzimyl ocati
on?

Aspromised,
Manqobacall
edanhourl
aterand
spoketoMuziwhi
l
eIwaitedanxi
ousl
ytohear
what'
sgoing.
MK:
Yoh.Usur
emf
owet
hu?
Heexhaledandrai
sedhisey
estol
ookatme.I
don'
tl
ikethepi
tyI'
m seei
ngint
hem.
MK: Okayit
hingi
hlanganiseamajit
aandget
them t
or ai
dthepl
acet henifiti
ssowecall
the
cops.(.
..
Letmeputt ogetherateam..
.)
MK:
Sur
ecase.

Me:
And?
??
Him:Sthandwasami,bheka.Al
lowmet o
conf
ir
m MQ' ssuspi
cionsfir
stbef
ore.
..
Yey!If
eltthecrazyworminmybrai
nreckl
essl
y
runni
ngl ooseandfor
cef
ull
ydr
il
li
ngaholeint
o
mycer ebrum.
Me:Don'tt
ryandinfanti
li
zememanPhakamani.
Iam y
ourwifeforGod'ssakestoptr
eati
ngme
l
ikeachil
dwhenev erther
e'ssomet
hing
i
mportantIneedtoknow! !Wher
ethefucki
smy
si
ster
!?
Hi
m:Yehl
i
s'umoy
a(Cal
m down)
Hecal mlysaidashefi
xedhi
seyesont he
screen,scrol
li
ngthr
oughhi
sphone.Urgggghh!
!
Ifel
tli
ket aki
nghisent
ir
esel
fandsmashi ng
him againstt
hewallal
ongwit
hhisstupid
phone.

Hedi
all
ed.
Hi
m:ShoTebza?
Him:Ngi
right
.Uyay
aziindawoekthiwayika
Kga-
Makganyesomethi
ngsomet hing?(
Doy ou
knowaplacecal
l
ed..
.)
Ga-
Makany
e?Whatwoul
dKgant
shobedoi
ng
t
here?
Him:I'
m goingt
osendy oualocati
onanda
pi
cture.Ineedyout
ogot her
e,niy
ibhekise
phansinaphezulul
eyandawolookingforthat
l
ady.Under
stood?(
Tur
nthepl
aceupsi
de
down..
.)
Hi
m:Shar
p.

Iwaslist
eningt ohim asIputmyheadi n
betweenmyt hi
ghsandmyhandsov erit.
Somethingiswr ongandIcanf eel i
t.Somet hing
i
snotr i
ght.Icouldn'thelpbutcry.That 'sall
I
coulddo.Hepi ckedmeupandposi ti
onedme
proper
lyont hebed.Het hencamet oliebehind
meandhel dmet ight.Hewaitedf ormet ocalm
downbef orehecoul dspeak.Howdoeshe
managet oremai nsocal m nomat t
ert heform
ordeli
cacyofasi tuation?
Him:Baby.Asi ndodayakho,youneedto
under
standthatIneedt odoev ery
thi
nginmy
powertoprotectfrom anythi
ngthatmighthur
t
you.I
nanyway ,shapeorform.I'
m not
under
miningy ouordisrespecti
ngyour
i
ntelli
gencewhenIhi decer tainthingsfrom you.
Andal so,Ididn'tknowt haty ouviewedi tl
i
ke
that.I
'm notper fect
.I'
mt ryi
ngmybestt olove
ascor rectl
yaspossi ble.ButIwi l
l sli
pupat
somepoi ntandi t'
syourdutyasmywi f
eto
guideme.Ngi yaxoli
saf orukuk'zwi saubhl
ungu.
Myhear tbreakswheny ou'
rehur tandwor seif
i
t'sbecauseofme( I
'm sorr
yf orhur ti
ngyou..
.)

Iappreci
atehi
sabili
tyt
oapologi
zewhenhe
seesthatheiswrong.Butt
heelephanti
nthe
room issti
l
lst
eppingonandcrushingmy
curi
osity
.
Me:
Iheary
ouMbul
azi
.Butwher
eismysi
ster
?
Heexhal
ed.
Hi
m:Yoursist
er'
sphonei
sinsomer
emot
ear
ea
i
nsomevil
lage.
If
eltcol
dinmyst
omach.
Him:We'r
ehopi
ngt
hati
t'
sjustt
hephoneand
nother
.
By"Remote"doeshemeansomesor
tofa
for
estorsomethi
ng?
Hisphonerangbef
oreIcoul
dint
err
ogat
ehi
m
anyfur
ther
.

Hi
m:Yes?
Hi
m:Manj
e?
Hewentsi
l
entf
oral
i
ttl
ebi
t.
Him:Niwabi
zi
leamaphoy
isa?
(Di
dyoucal
lthe
pol
ice?
)
Hi
m:Don'
ttouchany
thi
ng.We'
reonourway
.
Hecutt
hecal
landIt
urnedt
owar
dshi
m.
Hi
m:Qcoka(
Getdr
essed)
Idon'
tli
ket
helookonhisface.Hegotupf
rom
thebedandgotdr
essed.
Me:
Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
Hedroppedhishandswi t
hhist-shi
rtinhi
s
handsandtookaheav ybreat
heout .Heheld
outhi
shandindicat
ingthatIshouldcomet o
hi
m.Idid.Hetookmei nhisarmsandhel dme
ti
ght.
Me:
Babywhat
'sgoi
ngon?
Il
owl
ysai
d.
Hi
m:Your
..
.Weneedt
o..
Sil
ence.Ihadnostrengt
htof orcehimtospeak
becauseIwascertainIwasn'tgoingtoli
ke
whateveritwast
hatwasbl ockinghischest
.
Hi
m: Weneedtogosoy
oucani
dent
if
yyour
si
ster
'sbody
.
Istoodthere.Inhi
sar ms.Moti
onl
ess.Icoul
dn'
t
cry
.Icouldn'tspeak.Iwantedt
oscream.I
couldn'
t.IwantedtodefinehowIfeel
,tomysel
f
but..
.Icoul
dn't.
Heheldmeti
ghter
.Ididnotrespond.Ij
ust
stoodt
her
e.Igent
lypushedhim awayfrom me
andsai
d"Weneedt ogo".
Hi
m:Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Heasked.Wi
thgr
eatconcer
nonhi
sface.
Him: Mysist
eri
sdead.Howdoy ouexpectme
t
of eel?Tel
lmesoIcanexecut
et hatasper
yourvisi
on.
Hi
m:St
handwasami
..
.
Hetri
edtot ouchmebutIr ai
sedmyhandt o
showhimt hatheneedst ostoptal
king.Itook
myclothesandputt hem oninsil
ence.Ihada
l
otofquestions.Ihadalotofquest i
onsthat
neededanswer sbutthestr
ength.Thestrength
toaskthem waswhatIdi dnothav e.

Hewor
ehi
scl
othest
ooandwewal
kedout
.We
drovetotheplaceandmyphonewasr i
nging
offt
hehook.Muzi askedmet oansweritand
tel
lherbecauseignoringherwil
lnothel
pany
one'
scase.Icalledherback.
Me:
Mama
Her
:Hav
eyoucal
l
edt
hepol
i
ce?
Me:
Yeahbut
..
Her
:Butwhat
?
Icoul
dn'
t!
Me:
Macanwet
alkwhenIgett
her
e?
Isaidandcutt hecallandputmyphoneon
fl
ightmode.Idon' twanttodothistoherbutI
hav enochoice.Ican'
triskhercoll
apsi
ngover
this.I
'drat
herloseonemembert hanmyentir
e
fami l
y.

Wegott
her
eandfoundthepl
acescreami
ng
"
CRI
MESCENE"fr
om all
thetapesandthe
fl
ashingpol
iceli
ghtsi
nthear
ea.Amanwi t
h
bluel
atexglovesandagunonhiswaistpull
ed
theyell
owtapeupandapproachedus.
Hi
m:Youcan'
tbeher
eIsugg.
.
Muzi:
Look.Wejustwantt
oseei
ftheper
soni
n
t
hereismysist
er-
in-
law
Thisplacewasv erydarkanddodgy.Itlooked
l
ikeaf oresty
ou'dassociat
ewithhellandallit
'
s
sub-agendas.Itwasquiteobv
iousthatal otof
badt hi
ngshappent her
e.
Him:Youcandothataf
terwear
edone
col
lect
ingt
heevi
dence.
Anot
hermancameappr
oachi
ngandshook
Muzi
'shand.
Hi
m:Mnt
ungwa.
Theyknoweachot
her
?
Muzi
:Det
ect
ive.Canweseeher
?
Hi
m:Howdi
dyouknowaboutal
loft
his?
Muzi:YouthoughtIwasjustgoingtositaround
andwaitforyoutogi v
emet herun-ar
oundwi th
yourcommon" Sisaphenya"tendenci
es?Ni
usel
esskabinina.(.
..we'
resti
lli
nvest
igat
ing..
)
Thefor
ensi
cguyt
hrewhi
shandsi
ntheai
rand
l
eft
.
Hi
m:Kahl
e.Yehl
i
s'umoy
a.
Heexhal
ed.Muzi
exhal
ed.
Muzi
:Wejustwantt
oseeherandconf
ir
mifi
t'
s
r
eal
lyher
.That
'si
t.
Him:Af
tert
hecol
l
ect
ionoft
heev
idencey
ou
can.
Muzi:Uyakhohlwawenaukut hiumsebenzi
wakhousezandl eni
zami.Ngi cel
aungangi
casul
iGxhabashe.Ngathuy akhohlwaukhuthi
wasusway i
nil
eeKZN? (Yout endtoforgetthat
yourj
obisatmymer cy
.Pl easedon'tpostme
offGxhabashe.You'
reforgetti
ngwhatmade
yourel
ocatefrom KZNtoher e)
Him:Ngiyazimf
owethungi
theyehl
is'
umoya.
Ngiy
abuy amanj
e(Iknowbrocalm down.I
'
llbe
backjustnow)
Hesai
dinal
mostawhi
sper
.
Muzi
:Nxn.
Ikeptmysi
l
ence.Wej
ustst
aredatoneanot
her
.

Thedet
ect
ivecamebackandIi
nter
rupt
edhi
m
ashewasabouttospeak.
Me:
Whatr
eal
l
yhappenedher
e?
Heexhal
ed.
Him:Ther
e'sagroupoftaxidri
ver
sthat'
s
worki
ngwithfor
eignnat
ionalstohar
vestbody
part
s.
Ext
remeheatescapedmyhead.Isuddenl
yfel
t
di
zzy.Muzi
heldmyhand.Ti
ghtl
y.
Hi
m:Awomanhasbeenv
ict
imi
zedi
nthat
samemanner .Theyt
ookall
hervit
alorgansand
cametodumpherher ewit
hallherbel
ongings.
Wesuspectthatshe'
sastat
ist
icofsucha
cri
mebythesedr i
ver
s.
Muzi:Howdoessomet hi
ngliket
hishappen?
Aren'
tther
elawsthatgover
napassenger's
safet
yattaxir
anks?
Him:Theyt aket hem atther ankanddotaxi
exchangesal ongt heroadclaimingtonolonger
begoingint hesamedi rect
ionast hesomeof
thepassenger s.Whent heygeti nt
othenewt axi
,
theyaredruggedbyasubst anceintheair
.
Him:Thi
sisnothowweusuall
ydothi
ngsbut
wozani
.Yousaidyouwantt
oseeherri
ght
?
Come.
Isuddenl
yhaddoubt s.Ist
histhelasti
mageof
mysisterIwantinmyhead?Il ookedatMuzi
onceandr ant
ot hesidetothr
owup.Muzi
cameandbr ushedmybackasIhel dbothmy
kneesforbalance.Iam notemoti
onal
l
y
equippedforthi
shellIcal
lmyli
fe.

UNEDI
TED.
(Loves,thi
sisnotjustast or
yli
ne.Pleasebe
careful
andv igi
lantinthesetaxis.Weareno
l
ongersaf e.Keepy oureyesopenanddon' tbe
afrai
dtosaynot oasituati
ony oudon't
understand.

Onasl i
ghtl
yli
ghternot
e,rememberwhenIsai
d
Idon'twantmydisappear
ancecatchi
ngyouoff
guard?Addyneedssomet i
meofftosor
touta
fewpersonali
ssues.Iwil
lbeback.

& )
I
nser
t46.
Ican'
t.Ican' tseeherinsuchahear twrenching
stat
e.Idon' twantt o.Icoul
dn'
tstopv omit
ing.
Muzi keptbr ushingmybacki nsi
lence.WhenI
fi
nall
yst opped, hetookoutaclean
handker chieff r
om hispocketandhandedi tto
me.Isl owl ywi pedmymout hbutIletmytears
conti
nuef alli
ng.
Him:Letmebet
heonetochecki
fit
'sr
eal
lyher.
Idon'
tthi
nky
ou'
l
lbeabl
etohandl
ealloft
his.
Me:Goatshwana.You'
venev
erseenherbef
ore.
(
It
'spoi
ntless)
Hi
m:Youshowedmepi
ctur
es.
Me:
Deadpeopl
elooknot
hingl
i
ket
hei
rpi
ctur
es.
Him:Okay
.Anyspeci
alf
eat
ures?Apar
tfr
om her
naev
usmar k?
Me:
Kengeo?(
What
'st
hat
?)
Hi
m:Themol
eunder
neat
hherl
owerl
i
p?
Me:
Uhm.
.
Isai
dasItr
iedt
othi
nkandcl
eanmymessed
upfaceatt
hesameti
me.
Me:
She.
..shehas.
.
Mybr
ainwasn'
twor
king.
Hetookmei nhisarmsandsai d"Takeyour
ti
me".Thatwasenoughf ormet ocrumblei
n
l
ament at
ion.Hekeptsay ing"Shhshh"butthat
toowasn'thelpi
ng.Ifi
tisn'therthenwhatisher
bagdoingher e?Wearej ustcuriousaboutt
he
blat
antobvioushere.

Icollectedmy sel
fandfi
nal
lymanagedtospeak.
Islowl yremovedmyselffr
om hiswarm and
broadshoul dersandst
oodinfrontofhi
m.He
i
nsist edonhol di
ngbot
hmyhands.Iswal l
owed.
Har d.
Me:Kgantshohasamol eunderherli
p,2
pi
erci
ngsonherrightearlobe,and.
..and..uhm..
herhai
r.Shehadastraightuponherl aststat
us
updat
ewhi
chl
ookedr
ecent
lydone.
..
Hi
m:That
'sal
l
?
Me:Andatat
too.Shehasatat
tooonherwr
ist
wr
it
tenGomolemoisital
i
cs.
Hi
m: That'
senough.ButIcan'tl
eaveyouher e
l
et'
sgot othecar
.Irel
uctantl
yagreed.Ididn'
t
wanthimtoleavemeher e.Forsomer easonI
nolongerf
eltsaf
e.

Wegott othecarandheopenedt hedoor.I

l
ookedathi m andgoti n.Hewentabov emy
thi
ghsandr eachedf orhisjacketonhi sdri
ver'
s
seat.Hemademeweari tandsai d"Ngiy
abuya
manj e.Okay?"Isniffedandsai dokay.He
l
ockedmei nthecarandl ef
t.Ididn'
tmov emy
eyesf rom t
hesceneasIwat chedhim walked
towar dsthepolice.Icouldn'tseeclearl
ysinceit
wasdar kandbushyal lov er
.Iwasst il
ltr
yingto
seewhenIhear dsomet hinghi t
ti
ngthecar
windowandmademet oinstant
lyjumpfrom
myseat.Myhear
talmostst opped.Itwasabug.
Thesoundwasn'
tthatdramat i
cbutitwas
enoughtogi
vemeahear tat t
ack.

Iwaitedf orMuzi tocomebackbuthewasgone

awhi l
enow.Hedi dcomebackbutIcoul dn'
t
readhisf ace.Hewaswal kingslowl ywithhis
handsi nhispocket s.Hegoti nthecarand
l
ookedatme.Hepur sedhi sl i
psinwar dlyand
said"I'
m sor r
ybaby ."Hesai dandsl owlyshook
hisheadi nruth.Ilookedupandt ri
edt opush
backmyt ears.Het ri
edt ot ouchmebutIt ol
d
him notto.Ilookedoutt hewi ndowandwi ped
myt ears.Iwasnotsur eofhowIf elt.Wesati n
sil
encef orabout10mi nut es.Hekeptwant i
ng
tospeakbutkeptr epr i
mandi nghi mselfagainst
i
t.Idon'tblamehi m.Ial sodon' tknowwhatt o
doorhowt odigestthissi tuation.Iwasnot
evenwor riedaboutmy selfany mor e.Iwas
worri
edaboutmymot her
.AboutKgant
sho'
s
husband.Aboutherchil
d,Gomolemo.Whatam
Igoi
ngt osaytoall
these3people?

Iturnedt oMuzi andaskedhi mt otakeme

home.Hedi dn'tsayawor dbuthisfacesai d"As
youwi sh" ,
speaki ngonhi sbehalf.Wegothome
andmama' slightswer estil
lon.Shedoesn' t
sleepwi thlightson.Thi smeansshe' sstil
l
awake.Iwashopi ngotherwise.Butindeed.
Howdoesonesl eepwhent heirchi
ldismi ssi
ng?
Wepar kedout sidet heyardandgoti n.She
quicklyopenedt hedoort oseewhoi twas.
Anot herwomanqui cklyfol
lowedand
scamper edbehi ndher .
Shesawt hatitwasmeandst oodatthecent
re
ofthey ar
dandwai t
edf orust
oarri
ve.Muzi
i
nsistedoncomi nginwithmebecausehewas
convincedthatIwouldn'
tbeablet
ocarryt
his
crossbymy self
.
Wefi
nal
lyarri
vedtothem.Muzi
greet
edt
hem
andt
heygreetedback.
Mama: YoumustbethehandsomeMuzi
kay
iseI
keepheari
ngabout
?
Shesai dandweakl ysmi l
ed,extendingherhand
foragr eeti
ng.Shewasl ookingf or
war dto
meet i
nghi m butgiv
ent hecircumst ances,her
l
ackofent husi
asm waswel lunder stood.The
womanl ookedatmeandexpr essedher
amaz ementathowI '
vegr own.She' smymom' s
closestfri
end.Shelivesinthenextv i
ll
agebut
hereshewas, supporti
ngmymom i nthewee
hoursoft hemor ni
ng.Thesunwasal r
eady
showingsi gnsofwant i
ngt ocomeout .

Mom final
l
yaskedthebi
gquesti
onthatboth
oureyesweredodgi
ngbyrunni
ngawayf r
om
eachother
.
Mom:
OkaeKgant
shoFi
l
we?
(Wher
e'sKgant
sho
Fi
l
we?
)
Iexhaledandopenedmymout htospeakbut
myhear ti
nfluencedmyv ocal cordstofai
l me.I
couldfeelt
het earsfl
oodingtheirwayt omy
eyes.Muziheldbot hmyshoul dersandasked
thatwegoi n.Mom shookherheadi npanicand
askedonceagai nwher eherchildis.Muzi
explai
nedwher ewehav ebeenandwhatt he
poli
cebeli
ev ehadt r
anspired.
Mom: No.No.Ha-uh.Thatisnotmychil
d.
Kgantshwanacannotpossibl
ydiesucha
horr
ibl
edeath.Actual
lyno!Kgant
shoisnot
dead.Takemet heresoIcanconfi
rmtothe
bothofyouthatKgantshoisnotdead!
Shewasspeaki
ngwit
hsomuchf or
cet
hat
MmeMal emehadtohol
dherback,
whoal
so
coul
dnothol
dbackhert
ear
s.
Me:
I'
m sor
rymomma.Ev
eni
fwedi
dfai
li
n
i
denti
fyi
ngher,herbel
ongi
ngsatt
hecr
ime
sceneareenou..
Her
:Homol
a!!Just
..
.homol
a!!(
Keepqui
et)
"Aski
ies".Isai
di nal
mostawhi sper.Myv oice
hadbur ntout.Icoul
dn'tspeaknomor e.She
j
ustlookedatmeandbentherl ipsi nafrown.
Shewasal sotryi
ngherbestnott ocr y.She
askedMmeMal emet olethergowhi l
e
remov i
ngherhandsf rom herself.Sheslowly
draggedherf eettot
hest oepinf rontofthe
house.

Shesunkdownt hereandlookedup."Lordhow
couldyoufai
lmet hi
sway !?Ketl
amor eng
Gomolemo?Whatwr onghav eIdonetodeserv
e
suchapunishmentfrom youGod? "(
Whatam I
goingtosaytoGomol emo).Shecouldn't
art
icul
atel
yfi
nishhersentence.Shebrokedown
andcri
edsohar dthatshef el
lof
fthesmal l
stoepandhi
tthefl
oorwithherbutt
.Weallr
an
toherandtr
iedtogetherup.Shewasn'
thavi
ng
i
t.Thisbr
okemyhear tev
enf ur
ther
.
MmeMal eme:Aowamosaditsogahl
e.
Tshi
disegasamma( Pl
easegetup.My
condolences)
Shesai
d,empat
het
ic.
Mymom cont inuedscr eami ngherl ungsout
unti
lmostofournei ghbor scameoutt osee
what'
sgoi ngon.Theygoti nt hey ardandt he
onlypeoplewhocanexpl aintot hem wer eMuzi
andMmaMal eme.Icoul dn'tt akei tanymor eso
Iraninsi
det hehouseandt hrewmysel finto
Kgantsho'sroom.Mychestwashot .Idon't
knowwhatIwant edi ntherebutmysoul j
ust
neededt ofeelli
keI'mi nherpr esencebecause
herentir
er oom smel l
sl i
keher .Iwipedmyt ears
whichjustcouldn'tstopembr aci ngmycheeks
andwentt ohercl oset.Itookouthernav yblue,
si
lknightgownwi thredl aceydet ail
st hatshe
usual
lywor ewhenshewasher e.Il
ookedatit
andwentt osinkdownonherbed.Ismel ti
tso
hardbecauseIf eltl
ikeitwasgoingt ogi
veme
somel evelofsolaceorev enabitof
understandi
ng.Ifelteyesonme.Il ooked
towardsthedoorandt herehewas.Idon'tknow
howlonghehasbeenst andingthere.

Hewal kedt owardsmeandl owlysaid"I'

mr eally
sorr
yst handwasam".NowIcoul dreadhi sface.
Helookedhur tal
so.Ijustlookedathi m.Het old
met hatIneedt obest rongf ormymot her.I
noddedandwewentbackout side.Everyone
wasst i
lltakenabackbywhatt hey'
vejusthear d.
Mosthadt hei
rhandscov eri
ngt hei
rmout hsi n
shock.Itwasunder standableIguess.Kgant sho
wast hecommuni t
ychi l
d.Thechi ldthat
makhwel wanesentt ogetbr eadbecauseshe
knewshewoul dgorunningandqui ckl
ycome
backwi thallt
hechange.Ev eninhert eenage
years.Iwasbar elyseenaroundher ebecause
I'
m ani ndoormouse.Shewast hechildthat
everyhousehol dwishedtheyhad.Shewas
warm.Wel coming.Foreversmil
ing.AsisterI
shallforeverholddeartomyf r
agileheart.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***
*

Mom i nsist
edongoingtothemor guetosee
herdaught er
.MuziandItri
edt oconvi
nceher
otherwisebutitwaspointl
esssoMuzi tookher
thereandIst ay
edbehind.All
familymembers
wei nf
or medofthedarknessthathadbefel
lthe
family.

TodaywasaWednesday
.Thefuneral
was
goingt
obeonSatur
daymorni
ng.Peoplehav
e
beencomi
nginandoutt
osaytheir
condolences.Thosewhoknowhowt obakedi d
whattheyknewbest .Muziwastaki
ngcar eof
thefuneralpr
eparati
onsal
ongsi
deTiisetso,
Kgantsho'shusband.It
ri
edtur
ninghim down
butgaveupbecauseIknowhi m.Hewasn' t
goingtotobackdown.

Mom hasbeendeadqui etsi nceshecameback

from t hemor t
uar y
.Gomol emoi sconf used.
Ev eryonekeepst ryi
ngt omakehi m under stand
wi thoutbei ngexplici
tabouthowhi smot her
died.Hi sdadi sbroken.Hel ostaconsi derable
aboutofwei ghtinamat terofjustaf ewday s.
Theonl yt i
mehel ookslikehe' sinbetterspirit
s
i
swhenhe' ssitt
ingwi t
hMuzi .Muzi hast hi
s
thingIcan' tdescri
beabouthi m.Thesameas
hisbr ot herManqoba.Theyhav ethi
s
"Ev erythingisgoingt obeokay "auraabout
them.Nomat terwhoy ouar e, wherey ou're
from, y oucannev errunf r
om i t
.
Kgantsho'
sbelongingswer eclearedand
packedawaythismor ni
ng.Herroom wasnow
emptyandwai t
ingf orherquietarri
v al.Itsti
ll
hadnotsunkint hatshe'sgone.Int hisr uthless
manner.Thecommuni t
yswor ethatt hey '
re
goingtotakeast andagainstthi
swhet heror
notthepoli
cepriorit
izeit
.Ihonestlydon' tcare
whattheydothosedr i
versi
ftheyf i
ndt hem.

Muzi t
ext
edmeandaskedmet ocomet ohi s
carwhichhehadpar kedoutsidealongwi th
other
sinthestreet
.Iwalkedoutoft hey ardand
wenttostandbesidehim,leaningagainsthi s
car.Wecouldn'
ttouchordoany t
hingoft hat
sortt
oshowr espectforhermemor y.Hel ooked
atmeandsmi l
edsli
ghtl
y.Ismi l
edback.
Him:Look,Ineedtobesomewher
ebutIwi
l
lbe
backintheeveni
ng.Okay?
Inoddedandsai d"Okay".Hetookoutasmal l
blackboxfrom hispocket ,l
ookedati tand
handedittome.Agi ft?Hesawt hatIwas
surpri
sedbyt hisgestureandt ookmyhandt o
placeitt
here.Iopenedi t.I
tlookedv ery
expensiv
e.Itwasaneckl ace.Itwasabeaut i
ful
diamondneckl ace.
Hi
m: Ngiy
ak'cel
a.I
nfactI'
m beggingyou,wear
t
hisall
theti
me.Nev ert
akeitoffunlessy
ou're
t
akingabath.
Hesternlysai
d.Hekepthi
seyesonme,
wai
ti
ng
formet oconfi
rmthatI
'
veheardand
under
stoodhim.
Me:
Ipr
omi
sebaby
.
Het
oldmehel
ovesme,
goti
nthecarandl
eft
.

UNEDI
TED. I
nser
t46.
Ican'
t.Ican' tseeherinsuchahear twrenching
stat
e.Idon' twantt o.Icoul
dn'
tstopv omit
ing.
Muzi keptbr ushingmybacki nsi
lence.WhenI
fi
nall
yst opped, hetookoutaclean
handker chieff r
om hispocketandhandedi tto
me.Isl owl ywi pedmymout hbutIletmytears
conti
nuef alli
ng.
Him:Letmebet
heonetochecki
fit
'sr
eal
lyher.
Idon'
tthi
nky
ou'
l
lbeabl
etohandl
ealloft
his.
Me:Goatshwana.You'
venev
erseenherbef
ore.
(
It
'spoi
ntless)
Hi
m:Youshowedmepi
ctur
es.
Me:
Deadpeopl
elooknot
hingl
i
ket
hei
rpi
ctur
es.
Him:Okay
.Anyspeci
alf
eat
ures?Apar
tfr
om her
naev
usmar k?
Me:
Kengeo?(
What
'st
hat
?)
Hi
m:Themol
eunder
neat
hherl
owerl
i
p?
Me:
Uhm.
.
Isai
dasItr
iedt
othi
nkandcl
eanmymessed
upfaceatt
hesameti
me.
Me:
She.
..shehas.
.
Mybr
ainwasn'
twor
king.
Hetookmei nhisarmsandsai d"Takeyour
ti
me".Thatwasenoughf ormet ocrumblei
n
l
ament at
ion.Hekeptsay ing"Shhshh"butthat
toowasn'thelpi
ng.Ifi
tisn'therthenwhatisher
bagdoingher e?Wearej ustcuriousaboutt
he
blat
antobvioushere.

Icollectedmy sel
fandfi
nal
lymanagedtospeak.
Islowl yremovedmyselffr
om hiswarm and
broadshoul dersandst
oodinfrontofhi
m.He
i
nsist edonhol di
ngbot
hmyhands.Iswal l
owed.
Har d.
Me:Kgantshohasamol eunderherli
p,2
pi
erci
ngsonherrightearlobe,and.
..and..uhm..
herhai
r.Shehadastraightuponherl aststat
us
updat
ewhi
chl
ookedr
ecent
lydone.
..
Hi
m:That
'sal
l
?
Me:Andatat
too.Shehasatat
tooonherwr
ist
wr
it
tenGomolemoisital
i
cs.
Hi
m: That'
senough.ButIcan'tl
eaveyouher e
l
et'
sgot othecar
.Irel
uctantl
yagreed.Ididn'
t
wanthimtoleavemeher e.Forsomer easonI
nolongerf
eltsaf
e.

Wegott othecarandheopenedt hedoor.I

l
ookedathi m andgoti n.Hewentabov emy
thi
ghsandr eachedf orhisjacketonhi sdri
ver'
s
seat.Hemademeweari tandsai d"Ngiy
abuya
manj e.Okay?"Isniffedandsai dokay.He
l
ockedmei nthecarandl ef
t.Ididn'
tmov emy
eyesf rom t
hesceneasIwat chedhim walked
towar dsthepolice.Icouldn'tseeclearl
ysinceit
wasdar kandbushyal lov er
.Iwasst il
ltr
yingto
seewhenIhear dsomet hinghi t
ti
ngthecar
windowandmademet oinstant
lyjumpfrom
myseat.Myhear
talmostst opped.Itwasabug.
Thesoundwasn'
tthatdramat i
cbutitwas
enoughtogi
vemeahear tat t
ack.

Iwaitedf orMuzi tocomebackbuthewasgone

awhi l
enow.Hedi dcomebackbutIcoul dn'
t
readhisf ace.Hewaswal kingslowl ywithhis
handsi nhispocket s.Hegoti nthecarand
l
ookedatme.Hepur sedhi sl i
psinwar dlyand
said"I'
m sor r
ybaby ."Hesai dandsl owlyshook
hisheadi nruth.Ilookedupandt ri
edt opush
backmyt ears.Het ri
edt ot ouchmebutIt ol
d
him notto.Ilookedoutt hewi ndowandwi ped
myt ears.Iwasnotsur eofhowIf elt.Wesati n
sil
encef orabout10mi nut es.Hekeptwant i
ng
tospeakbutkeptr epr i
mandi nghi mselfagainst
i
t.Idon'tblamehi m.Ial sodon' tknowwhatt o
doorhowt odigestthissi tuation.Iwasnot
evenwor riedaboutmy selfany mor e.Iwas
worri
edaboutmymot her
.AboutKgant
sho'
s
husband.Aboutherchil
d,Gomolemo.Whatam
Igoi
ngt osaytoall
these3people?

Iturnedt oMuzi andaskedhi mt otakeme

home.Hedi dn'tsayawor dbuthisfacesai d"As
youwi sh" ,
speaki ngonhi sbehalf.Wegothome
andmama' slightswer estil
lon.Shedoesn' t
sleepwi thlightson.Thi smeansshe' sstil
l
awake.Iwashopi ngotherwise.Butindeed.
Howdoesonesl eepwhent heirchi
ldismi ssi
ng?
Wepar kedout sidet heyardandgoti n.She
quicklyopenedt hedoort oseewhoi twas.
Anot herwomanqui cklyfol
lowedand
scamper edbehi ndher .
Shesawt hatitwasmeandst oodatthecent
re
ofthey ar
dandwai t
edf orust
oarri
ve.Muzi
i
nsistedoncomi nginwithmebecausehewas
convincedthatIwouldn'
tbeablet
ocarryt
his
crossbymy self
.
Wefi
nal
lyarri
vedtothem.Muzi
greet
edt
hem
andt
heygreetedback.
Mama: YoumustbethehandsomeMuzi
kay
iseI
keepheari
ngabout
?
Shesai dandweakl ysmi l
ed,extendingherhand
foragr eeti
ng.Shewasl ookingf or
war dto
meet i
nghi m butgiv
ent hecircumst ances,her
l
ackofent husi
asm waswel lunder stood.The
womanl ookedatmeandexpr essedher
amaz ementathowI '
vegr own.She' smymom' s
closestfri
end.Shelivesinthenextv i
ll
agebut
hereshewas, supporti
ngmymom i nthewee
hoursoft hemor ni
ng.Thesunwasal r
eady
showingsi gnsofwant i
ngt ocomeout .

Mom final
l
yaskedthebi
gquesti
onthatboth
oureyesweredodgi
ngbyrunni
ngawayf r
om
eachother
.
Mom:
OkaeKgant
shoFi
l
we?
(Wher
e'sKgant
sho
Fi
l
we?
)
Iexhaledandopenedmymout htospeakbut
myhear ti
nfluencedmyv ocal cordstofai
l me.I
couldfeelt
het earsfl
oodingtheirwayt omy
eyes.Muziheldbot hmyshoul dersandasked
thatwegoi n.Mom shookherheadi npanicand
askedonceagai nwher eherchildis.Muzi
explai
nedwher ewehav ebeenandwhatt he
poli
cebeli
ev ehadt r
anspired.
Mom: No.No.Ha-uh.Thatisnotmychil
d.
Kgantshwanacannotpossibl
ydiesucha
horr
ibl
edeath.Actual
lyno!Kgant
shoisnot
dead.Takemet heresoIcanconfi
rmtothe
bothofyouthatKgantshoisnotdead!
Shewasspeaki
ngwit
hsomuchf or
cet
hat
MmeMal emehadtohol
dherback,
whoal
so
coul
dnothol
dbackhert
ear
s.
Me:
I'
m sor
rymomma.Ev
eni
fwedi
dfai
li
n
i
denti
fyi
ngher,herbel
ongi
ngsatt
hecr
ime
sceneareenou..
Her
:Homol
a!!Just
..
.homol
a!!(
Keepqui
et)
"Aski
ies".Isai
di nal
mostawhi sper.Myv oice
hadbur ntout.Icoul
dn'tspeaknomor e.She
j
ustlookedatmeandbentherl ipsi nafrown.
Shewasal sotryi
ngherbestnott ocr y.She
askedMmeMal emet olethergowhi l
e
remov i
ngherhandsf rom herself.Sheslowly
draggedherf eettot
hest oepinf rontofthe
house.

Shesunkdownt hereandlookedup."Lordhow
couldyoufai
lmet hi
sway !?Ketl
amor eng
Gomolemo?Whatwr onghav eIdonetodeserv
e
suchapunishmentfrom youGod? "(
Whatam I
goingtosaytoGomol emo).Shecouldn't
art
icul
atel
yfi
nishhersentence.Shebrokedown
andcri
edsohar dthatshef el
lof
fthesmal l
stoepandhi
tthefl
oorwithherbutt
.Weallr
an
toherandtr
iedtogetherup.Shewasn'
thavi
ng
i
t.Thisbr
okemyhear tev
enf ur
ther
.
MmeMal eme:Aowamosaditsogahl
e.
Tshi
disegasamma( Pl
easegetup.My
condolences)
Shesai
d,empat
het
ic.
Mymom cont inuedscr eami ngherl ungsout
unti
lmostofournei ghbor scameoutt osee
what'
sgoi ngon.Theygoti nt hey ardandt he
onlypeoplewhocanexpl aintot hem wer eMuzi
andMmaMal eme.Icoul dn'tt akei tanymor eso
Iraninsi
det hehouseandt hrewmysel finto
Kgantsho'sroom.Mychestwashot .Idon't
knowwhatIwant edi ntherebutmysoul j
ust
neededt ofeelli
keI'mi nherpr esencebecause
herentir
er oom smel l
sl i
keher .Iwipedmyt ears
whichjustcouldn'tstopembr aci ngmycheeks
andwentt ohercl oset.Itookouthernav yblue,
si
lknightgownwi thredl aceydet ail
st hatshe
usual
lywor ewhenshewasher e.Il
ookedatit
andwentt osinkdownonherbed.Ismel ti
tso
hardbecauseIf eltl
ikeitwasgoingt ogi
veme
somel evelofsolaceorev enabitof
understandi
ng.Ifelteyesonme.Il ooked
towardsthedoorandt herehewas.Idon'tknow
howlonghehasbeenst andingthere.

Hewal kedt owardsmeandl owlysaid"I'

mr eally
sorr
yst handwasam".NowIcoul dreadhi sface.
Helookedhur tal
so.Ijustlookedathi m.Het old
met hatIneedt obest rongf ormymot her.I
noddedandwewentbackout side.Everyone
wasst i
lltakenabackbywhatt hey'
vejusthear d.
Mosthadt hei
rhandscov eri
ngt hei
rmout hsi n
shock.Itwasunder standableIguess.Kgant sho
wast hecommuni t
ychi l
d.Thechi ldthat
makhwel wanesentt ogetbr eadbecauseshe
knewshewoul dgorunningandqui ckl
ycome
backwi thallt
hechange.Ev eninhert eenage
years.Iwasbar elyseenaroundher ebecause
I'
m ani ndoormouse.Shewast hechildthat
everyhousehol dwishedtheyhad.Shewas
warm.Wel coming.Foreversmil
ing.AsisterI
shallforeverholddeartomyf r
agileheart.

*
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*
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*

Mom i nsist
edongoingtothemor guetosee
herdaught er
.MuziandItri
edt oconvi
nceher
otherwisebutitwaspointl
esssoMuzi tookher
thereandIst ay
edbehind.All
familymembers
wei nf
or medofthedarknessthathadbefel
lthe
family.

TodaywasaWednesday
.Thefuneral
was
goingt
obeonSatur
daymorni
ng.Peoplehav
e
beencomi
nginandoutt
osaytheir
condolences.Thosewhoknowhowt obakedi d
whattheyknewbest .Muziwastaki
ngcar eof
thefuneralpr
eparati
onsal
ongsi
deTiisetso,
Kgantsho'shusband.It
ri
edtur
ninghim down
butgaveupbecauseIknowhi m.Hewasn' t
goingtotobackdown.

Mom hasbeendeadqui etsi nceshecameback

from t hemor t
uar y
.Gomol emoi sconf used.
Ev eryonekeepst ryi
ngt omakehi m under stand
wi thoutbei ngexplici
tabouthowhi smot her
died.Hi sdadi sbroken.Hel ostaconsi derable
aboutofwei ghtinamat terofjustaf ewday s.
Theonl yt i
mehel ookslikehe' sinbetterspirit
s
i
swhenhe' ssitt
ingwi t
hMuzi .Muzi hast hi
s
thingIcan' tdescri
beabouthi m.Thesameas
hisbr ot herManqoba.Theyhav ethi
s
"Ev erythingisgoingt obeokay "auraabout
them.Nomat terwhoy ouar e, wherey ou're
from, y oucannev errunf r
om i t
.
Kgantsho'
sbelongingswer eclearedand
packedawaythismor ni
ng.Herroom wasnow
emptyandwai t
ingf orherquietarri
v al.Itsti
ll
hadnotsunkint hatshe'sgone.Int hisr uthless
manner.Thecommuni t
yswor ethatt hey '
re
goingtotakeast andagainstthi
swhet heror
notthepoli
cepriorit
izeit
.Ihonestlydon' tcare
whattheydothosedr i
versi
ftheyf i
ndt hem.

Muzi t
ext
edmeandaskedmet ocomet ohi s
carwhichhehadpar kedoutsidealongwi th
other
sinthestreet
.Iwalkedoutoft hey ardand
wenttostandbesidehim,leaningagainsthi s
car.Wecouldn'
ttouchordoany t
hingoft hat
sortt
oshowr espectforhermemor y.Hel ooked
atmeandsmi l
edsli
ghtl
y.Ismi l
edback.
Him:Look,Ineedtobesomewher
ebutIwi
l
lbe
backintheeveni
ng.Okay?
Inoddedandsai d"Okay".Hetookoutasmal l
blackboxfrom hispocket ,l
ookedati tand
handedittome.Agi ft?Hesawt hatIwas
surpri
sedbyt hisgestureandt ookmyhandt o
placeitt
here.Iopenedi t.I
tlookedv ery
expensiv
e.Itwasaneckl ace.Itwasabeaut i
ful
diamondneckl ace.
Hi
m: Ngiy
ak'cel
a.I
nfactI'
m beggingyou,wear
t
hisall
theti
me.Nev ert
akeitoffunlessy
ou're
t
akingabath.
Hesternlysai
d.Hekepthi
seyesonme,
wai
ti
ng
formet oconfi
rmthatI
'
veheardand
under
stoodhim.
Me:
Ipr
omi
sebaby
.
Het
oldmehel
ovesme,
goti
nthecarandl
eft
.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t47.
Eversl epthopi ngthatwheny ouwakeup, t
he
universewoul d'v
echangedi t
'smindabouty our
fate?Ihav en'tsleepsi ncet hemor ningI
discov eredthatmysi sterwasbut cheredlikea
strayani mal.Kgant showaski ll
edl i
kei twasnot
awomanwhogav ebirtht oher.Kgant showas
mur der edli
keshet oowasnotawoman, a
human.Whathav ewer eallydonewr ongto
thesemen?Ourpr edat orsarethev erysame
peoplewhower einit
iallymeantt opr otecttous.
Ithurts.It'
sinfuriati
ngt oliveinfearofoneday
beingapossi blest at
istic.

Todayi saThursday.Mybodyforcedmet o
sl
eepl astni
ghtbecausemymi ndwast i
redof
questi
oningandansweringit
selfeachti
me.I
wokeupat04h44andst ar
edintospace.Icould
hearthepeoplegoingupanddownandt alki
ng
outsi
deandi nsi
dethehouse.Itdoesn'
tfeelr
eal
yet
.Apar tofmei ssti
llexpecti
nghertobarge
i
nheret oshowmeaTwi tterpostorafunny
vi
deoshest umbleduponsomewher eonsocial
media.Butalas,mydoorr emai ned
melancholi
call
yclosed.Thef ootst
epsIkept
heari
ngwer enotofhers.Iknewwhenshewas
comingbecausesheusedt odragherfeeti
n
hersl
eepers.Mymom hat editsomuchbutshe
sti
l
ldiditanyway.

Myphoner angandpulledmeoutoutoft he
sti
ckymudofmydepr essingthoughts.I
twas
anunknownnumber .Ilookedatt hetimeandi
t
wasonlythenwhenIr eali
sedhowl ongI
'v
e
beensit
ti
nghere,t
hinking.Itr
epor t
edtome
thati
twasnow06h34.Isl idmyf ingeracr
ossi
t
andputitonmyear.
Me:
Hel
l
o?
Her
:Hey
yyou
Asi
ncer
evoi
cesof
tl
ycal
l
edout
.
Her
:Unj
an?
I
twasMabuy
i.Onl
yshepronouncest
heword
"
Unj
ani
?"t
hewayshedoes.It
'ssi
ncer
e.Al
ways.
Her
:I'
l
lsur
viv
e.Howar
eyouandOkuhl
e?
Me:Forgetus.I'
m onlyhearingaboutthisthi
s
morni
ngot herwiseIwould'v
el ongcall
ed.I
'm so
sor
ryabouty oursist
er.Suchcr uel
tykodwa!
Theonet hingIhateaboutpeoplesympat hi
zi
ng
withmei sthattheyalwaysinducemet ocry.
Nomat t
erhowmuchIt hinkInowhaveit
together
.Ijustkeptquietandtri
edsendingmy
tearsback.Theacheandst abbi
ngvoi
dinmy
heartkeepsgrowing.
Her:
I'
m sosorr
ymnax.Ihonest
lyhav
enoidea
whattosaytoyou.Iwi
shIcoul
dcomebutyou
knowmysituat
ion.
Iunder
stood.Womenwi
thnewbor
nbabi
esdo
notat
tendf
uner
alsi
nmostbl
ackt
radi
ti
ons.

Wecont i
nuedspeakingunt ilIheardaknockon
mydoor .Ibidhergoodby eandy el
l
edfor
whoev erwast heretocomei n.Itwasmy
mot her.Mymom bar elyknocks.Butshedi d
today.Iam notsur pr
ised.Shei snothersel
f.
Shecameandcamet osi tont hebednextto
me.Webot hkeptquietforaf ewsecondsuntil
I
decidedt obreakthesilence.
Me:
Oshar
p?
Shenoddedandaskedmeforahug.Igav
eitt
o
her
.Shepull
edawayandexhal
ed.
Her
:She'
scomi
nghomet
omor
row.Or
eady
?
Il
ookedawayandkeptqui
et.
Her
:Iknow.I
'
m al
sonot
.
Iwasaboutt
ospeakbefor
esheIint
err
upt
ed
meandsaid"Keagor
atawaut
lwa?Thatal
e
gone"(
Ilov
eyoudoy
ouhearme?Al
ott
oo)
It
ear
edupandt
oldherIl
ovehert
oo.

Shelookeddownandat earfel
ldownfrom her
face.Shetr
iedwipi
ngitforwhateverr
easonbut
herblackskir
thadal
readyabsorbedand
swalloweditwhol
e.Shet henshookherhead
andlaughed.
Her: Wai
tse,kegopolaampot sagoreo
pregnant.Iscoldedher
.Botl
hoko!Shej ust
staredatme.AndwhenIwasdone, Iaskedher
whatshehast osayforhersel
f.Youknowwhat
shesaid?( Ir
ememberwhenshef i
rsttoldme
thatshe'
spr egnant.
)
Iwascuri
ousaboutthi
sstory.Istuckmyey es
outandshookmyheadt oindicat
et hatIdi
dn'
t
knowwhatKgantshohadsaid.
Her
:Shesai
d,"Mama,l
ebeselegeokalell
ela
gel
ephumegi
leakekel
aboelalatl
atsabotl
olo"
.
Kegeankgonne.Kaf ell
wakebogale.("
Even
youcryoverspi
ltmil
k, t
here'
snoyoucangetit
tofi
l
lthebottl
eagain".Shehaddefeat
edme.All
myfurydi
sappeared).
Il
aughed!Thisissomet
hingt
hatKgant
sho
woul
ddef i
nit
elysay.
Her:Herwordskeepr i
nginginmyhead.She
would'v
ewishedthatwesol di
eron.There'
sno
bri
ngingherback.Solet'
sjustsendheroffwi
th
theloveandrespectshedeserves.
Ismi
l
edandnodded.
Her:
Arey
oucomi
ngwi
thmet
obat
handdr
ess
hert
omorr
ow?
Ishookmyheadandsai d"I
'dr
athernot"
.She
kissedmeonmyf oreheadandaskedmet oget
outofbed.IdidandshemademybedasIt ook
toil
etr
ybagandheadedoutt othefamily
bathroom tof
reshenup.Igotdonewithmyall
myhy gi
enepr
ocessesandwentoutt obe
usef
ulout
side.

*
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*
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**

Thedaywewer
eal
ldr
eadi
ngi
sfi
nal
l
yher
e.

Itookabat hearlyint
hemor ning,camebacki n
at owel andpackedmypy jamasaway .I
l
ot ionedandgoti ntoanankl elengthbl ack,
body -
huggingdresswithlongsl eeves.Iwent
i
nt omymot her'
sroom togol ookf oradoek.I
foundabl ackonewi t
hsmal l nudepat chesand
wr appedi taroundmyhead.Iwentbacki nt
omy
room andsl i
dintogoldpushi nsandl es.Iput
pet rol
eum jell
yonmyl ips,unpluggedmyphone
from t hechargerandwentout .
Igreetedal lthewomeni nthekitchenandt hey
greetedback.IaskedwhatIcanhel pwit
hand
theysaidt herearepeopl ewhoneedmeout side.
Oh?Mymom wal kedintot hekit
chenusingt he
backdoorwi t
ha20Lbucketi nherhand.It
l
ookedheav y.Sheputitdownandsai d"Good.
You'redr essedappropriately
.Yourin-l
awsar e
outsi
de) .Herbusy bodysel fwasaboutt otur n
awayf rom mebutshebr oughtherey esback
andlookatmesuspi ci
ousl y,f
rom toptotoe.
Me:
Keeng?
(What
?)
Sheshookherheadslowl
yandsai
d"Mm-
mm"
,
whichmeans'Not
hing'
.

Iwentoutsideandfoundt
hem underthehuge
mulberr
ytreewehav eint
heyard.Theycamein
asil
vergreyMercedesG63andev ery
onewas
gawkingatthem.Thismademef eel
uncomfortabl
ebutIfel
tmyheartwarmingup
becauseoftheirpr
esence.Ihonestl
ydidnot
expectthem t
ocome.Muzi wasstandingwit
h
onefootonar ock,wi
thhishandsinhi s
pocketstal
ki
ngt oManqobaandTi setso.Ev
elyn
wasonherphone.Sher ai
sedherheadand
i
mmedi atel
ystoodupt oembracemewi tha
hug.
Her
:Mydar
li
ng.
Ihatethepi
tyi
nherey
esandev
ery
oneel
se
aroundher.
Ihuggedherback.I
ttookallt
hest
rengt
hinme
tostopmysel
ffrom cry
ing.
Shepul
l
edbackandhel
dbot
hmyhands.
Her:Kuzodlulay azi?Zivumel eukuthubuzwe
l
ob'hlungu.Khalamakut hi ukhal
e.Sonke
sipholakanjal
obutIcannotsayngi yayazi
ukuthiuzizwakanj ani.Whatahor r
ibl
ewayf or
onet odie.(I
t'
ll
al lpassy ouknow?Al low
yourselftofeelallthi
spai n.Cryifyouhaveto.
Weal
lheal
li
ket
hat
..
..
Iknowhowy
ouf
eel
..
.)
Ipur
sedmyl
i
psandnodded.

Il
ookedatt
hemenandgr
eet
edt
hem al
l
.
Manqoba:
Spha.
Muzi
:Mor
ningbaby
Ti
i
set
so:
Dumel
a.
Theyal
lsi
mul
taneousl
ygr
eet
edback.

Mom camet othetreeandhandedmeaR50

noteandinst
ructedmet ogobuy2mat ch
boxes.Mymom meanti twhenshesaidI '
l
l
nevergr
owi nhereyes.Shewasaboutt ot urn
awaywhenEv ely
nst oppedherandaskedher
whatshecanhelpwi th.Mom laughedandsai d
"I
magineanentir
equeencooki ngataf uneral
".
Evel
ynlaughedtooandsai d"Suka.I
'm awoman
andamot herbeforeIam aqueen.Masambe" .
Shehel
dmymom'
shandandt
heywal
kedaway
.

Manqoba:Kukudelanit
hengakhonal
o
meshi
si?Icoul
ddri
veyou.(
Isitf
arwher
eyou
buyt
hismatches?
)
Muzi
:'
Ngawor
rybaf
owe'
l
lwal
kther
e.
Manqbobasai dokayandtur
nedtoTiisetsoand
tol
dhimt hatt
heyshouldbot
hgoj oi
nt hemen
attheback.Theygotupandleft
.MeandMuzi
walkedoutoftheyardandwalkedtotheshop.
It
's10minutesawayfrom myhouseonav er
age
walki
ngspeed.

Hi
m:Hekeptst
eal
i
nggl
ancesatmeand
smi
li
ng.
Me:
Hawu.Yi
ni?
Him:Yougetpret
ti
erbyt
heday
.Ugezangani
ngempel
a?(whatdoyoubat
hwit
h?)
Il
aughed.
Me:
Ngot
handol
wakho.(
Wit
hyourl
ove)
Hebl
ushedandl
aughedsof
tl
y.
Him:Ishouldsetupameetingwi
thJohnson'
s
sotheycanpackageitbal
i
thengi
se.Icoul
d
makeal otofmoney.
Il
aughed.He'
sst
il
lnut
s.
Me:Mcii
m mar
aodl
alakannawena.I
've
gai
nedsomuchwei
ght.(
You'
remocki
ngme)
Iwasbeinghonest
.Ihavegai
nedweight.I
usual
l
yloseweightwhenI'
m st
ressedbutnot
thi
sti
me.
Hi
m:I
yakuf
anel
anj
e?(
Itsui
tsy
ou)
Hesai
dandcheckedoutmyass.Il
aughedand
t
oldhi
mtostopbeingsi
ll
y.
Me:
Iknowbutst
il
l.
Hi
m:Tr
ynott
ost
ressabouty
ourwei
ght
.I
wouldsaydon'
tstressaboutanyt
hingbutit
's
i
nevit
ablei
nthiscase.Justt
akeiteasyokay.
Yourbodydoesn'
tneedanyhar dstr
ain.
Me:
I'
m mour
ning.I
'
m notsi
ck.
Hi
m:You'
renotsi
ckbuty
ou'
reca.
..
Hekeptqui
et.
Me:
I'
m what
?
Hel
ookedawayandpi
ckedupast
one.
Hi
m:Ar
ewest
il
lfarf
rom get
ti
ngt
otheshop?
He'
sal
readyt
ir
ed?
Me:Sincewhenotswaf
asowena
Mbulazi
?(Si
ncewhenar
eyout
hisl
azy
?)
Hel
aughedandsai
dhe'
spr
obabl
yget
ti
ngol
d.

Hi
sphoner
angandpi
ckedup.
Hi
m:Babygi
rl
.
Hi
m:Yeah
Hi
m:Yeahnangul
aecel
enkwam.
Ilookedupandgavehim aninqui
sit
ivelook.He
thenhandedthephonetome.Iputiton
l
oudspeakerandkeptwalki
ngslowly.Itwas
Thando.

Her
:Heysi
sunj
ani
?
Me:
I'
m al
ri
ghtnana.Don'
twor
ryaboutme.
Her:Iwantedtocomebutmom suggest
edI
st
aybehindandhelpusi
sMabuyingengani
.(.
..
wit
ht hechil
d).
Me:
Iunder
stand.Don'
twor
ry.
Her
:Don'
tseeitasmechoosi
ngherovery
ou
t
houghngi
nit
handanobabi
l
i.(
Ilov
eyouboth)
Il
aughed.She'
sbei
ngsi
ll
y.Asmi
leescaped
Muzil
ipsandheshookhi
shead.
UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t48.

Muzi andIgotbackfr
om theshopandwentour
separateways.Hesai
dhe'sgoi ngtohel
pwi t
h
sl
aught er
ingandIwenttogiv
emymom her
matches.Shewasout si
detal
kingt omyeldest
aunt.Evenourmostdist
antrelati
veshad
arr
ivedwiththeint
ent
iontoburyKgantsho.

Igavemom t hematchboxesandwalkedaway.I
wasaboutt owalkawaywhenManqobacal l
ed
outforme.Ilookedbackandsawhim
approachi
ng.Heindicat
edwithhi
shandthatI
shouldcomet ohim ashewaswalki
ngtothe
car.
Hi
m:Ngi
k'
phat
hel
eisi
pho.
Helaughedaft
erhesaidt
hat.Il
aughedtooand
sai
d"Iwonder".Het
ookoutablackplast
icbag
fr
om thecarandhandedi
ttome.
Me:IwonderwhatI'
vedonet
odeser
vesuchan
abundanceofgi
ft
sfrom y
ouguy
s.
Helaughedandsai
d"Whoel
segav
eyouagi
ft
?
I
tsurel
ycan'
ttopmine"
Me:
Yourbr
other
.
Isai
dandt
racedmyhandal
ongmyneckl
ace.
Hesuddenl
ygotser
ious.
Hi
m:Thisneckl
acemeansalottohi
m.Don'
t
t
akei
tforgrant
ed.Andnev
ertakei
toff
.
Iponderedovertheappar
entsenti
mental
val
ue
thatthi
sjewelappar
entl
yholds.It
hen
respondedandsaid"Iwon'
t.
"
Iopenedtheplast
icbagandIwasmetbya
groupofthi
ckandr i
pemangos.Il
aughed.So
thi
sisthegif
t?
Helaughedtooandsai
d"UMrsmeut he
ngi
kunikel
ezint
oI'
mjustamessenger"
Ncoo.Howsweetofher .I
'm guessingshealso
couldn'
tcomebecauseofherpr egnancy.Enhle
i
sgodsent .Ihav
ebeencr avi
ngt hese.It
hanked
Manqobaandwal kedbackintothehouset ogo
putthem inthefr
idge.Hopeful
lynobodyst eal
s
orhelpsthemselvestothem.Ot her
wisewe' r
e
goingtohav eadeathatafuneral.

*
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*
***
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*

Kgantshomadeherf inalarr
ivalt
oherhome
l
astnightar ound18h00.I tsti
llhasn'tsunkin
thatshe'snomor e.Isawheri nhercof finbut
myhear tisstil
lrefusi
ngt oacceptt his.Even
aftert
heni ghtvi
gi l
.Af i
ghtbrokeoutbet ween
mymot herandKgant sho'shusbandduet othe
factthathewant edGomol emot oseeherbut
mymom wasadamantt hatitwasgoi ngt o
traumatizethechil
d.Myel destauntsaidi t'
l
l
giveLemocl osurebutmymot her'
suncle,my
grandfatheragreedwithmom.Hef urt
herwent
ont ostatethatintheoldenday s,whent here
wasdeat horafunerali
nt hehome, thechi l
dren
wer etakenawayt oadifferentplaceandt old
thatthepersonwhodi edwast akenbyawol fin
thenight.

Iwalkedawayf rom t
hatargument .Ihadno
str
engthforit.Notat3am inthemor ning.
Somewomen, mostl
yneighbor sandr elati
ves
werebusycooki ngandconv ersinginthe
ki
tchenwher eas,t
helastti
meIchecked, some
wereoutsideprepari
ngmogoduandot herstuff
usi
nggr oundf i
reandthoselargesi ze30pot s.I
walkedintomyr oom andtookmyt oi
letri
es.I
wantedtobat hnowt oavoidthet raff
icconv oy
tothebathroom inthemorni
ng.Ther
e'smany
ofushereandj ust2bathr
ooms.Muzi andhi
s
familyweresleepi
ngoveratahotel
.Hekept
texti
ngmet ryi
ngtocheermeup.Hedi dn'
t
sleepaswel l
.

Iputonmyunder wearaf
terl
oti
oningupandas
Iwasabouttolookforanoutf
itfortoday
,I
heardaknockonmydoor .Iwrappedmy selfi
n
atowelbefor
eIcouldyel
l"Comei n!"
.Tumi
peepedthr
oughthedoorandIsmi ledathim.
Heal sogav emeapi t
ysmi l
eandt her
eitwas
agai n.Thef eel
i
ngIkeepf i
ghti
ngandav oi
ding.I
feltmy selftear
ingup.Healsolookedami nute
awayf rom cryi
ng.Heheldouthishands
i
ndi catingthatIshoul
dcomet ohimf orahug.I
did.Webot hweepedi neachother'
sarms.

Ipul
l
edawayandhewi
pedhi
stear
swi
tht
he
pal
m ofhi
shands.
Him:
Ijustlanded.I
'
mter
ribl
ysorryIcoul
dn'
t
comeearl
ieryouknowIcouldn'
tgetaway.
Iknow.HefoundajobinCapeTownatsome
cal
lcent
reforthef
esti
vesandhi
sfami
ly
neededthemoney.
Me:
Iknowbuns.
Wesatdownont
hebed.
Him: Ihonestl
yam str
uggl
ingtodigestt hefact
thatses'Kgant
shoisgone.Ikeptstalki
ngher
I
nstagram accounttheent
ireweek, watching
her.Wonder i
nghowsomeonecoul dbesocr uel
.
Yhuuamadoda.Anent i
redumpsi t
e.
Hesai
dandcl
appedoncei
ndi
sbel
i
ef.
Me:
Ist
il
lcan'
tbel
i
evei
t.
Hi
m: Iknowbabes.Sameboat.Ir
emember
whenshestoodupf ormether
ebythesoccer
gr
oundswhenIwasbei ngbull
i
edbytheboys
formyhomosexual
i
tywheny
ouandIhadj
ust
gott
entohi
ghschool.
Eversi
nceshedied,Il
oveandfi
ndsolacei
n
heari
ngabouther.Il
ookedathi
m att
oldhi
mto
tel
lmemor e.
Him: Iwasonmywayt oyourhouseandshe
wascomi ngbehi ndmewi thanumbr ellaanda
Scorepl asti
cbagi nherhandf rom adi stance.
Theycameupt omeandst art
edt easi ngme
sayinghowIwantt obeagi r
lsobadI '
m ev en
wear i
ngapi nkt-shir
t.Theykeptpushi ngme
aroundandIsawherr unni
ngt owar dsus.She
gotthereandaskedmewhat '
sgoi ngon.Oneof
them calledmeast abaneandsheexpl oded.
Shewasl ike"Ifallofyourwerest r
ai ghther eI
doubty ou'dev enconcer nyoursel
fwi thanot her
person'ssexual it
y.Ibetyou'r
eal l
af raidt hathim
comi ngwi ll
ev entuall
ysomehowexposey ou
toowi t
hy oursmal lpeni
ses!Areyegae
wena! "
(You.Let '
sgohome)
IlaughedbutIbel i
evedhim.Hel aughedtooand
shookhi shead.Kgant showassweetwhen
unpr ovoked.Shewasasweet hear
tonlyinthe
absenceofi njust
ice.Whichisoneoft hemany
reasonswhyIl ov
ehersomuch.Thi sstat
ement
willneverbeinpastt ensebecauseshe
continuestoliveinmyhear t
.

Igotupandwentt othecl osettol

ookf or
clothes.Wekeptt alkingasIscouredt hrough
myhanger sandbot tom drawers.Hewasonhi s
phoneasIdi dthi
sbutheendedupl ockingit
andput ti
ngi tawayont hebed.Hei mmedi at
ely
stoodaf terthi
sandsai d"Tl ogabecausey ou
hav enoi deawhaty ou'r
edoi nghere".Il
aughed
andwentt ositdownont hebedashewent
throughmycl ot
hes.Inol ongerwearmostof
them becauset hey '
reher efullt
imeandIdon' t
stayher eany more,al t
houghmostar estil
lin
goodcondi
ti
on.

Hewentt hroughmycl ot
hesandt ookoutagr ey
blousewi thblackfl
ower sandthrewi tonhis
shoulder.Hehungof fafreefl
owi ng,l
ong
mar oondr essandt hrewbothitemsatmeashe
keptblabbi ngabouthi sr
ecentIndianboyf
riend.
Icouldn'tstopsmi l
i
ngandl aughingathisjokes.
Het ookat ightbl
ackski r
tandrav agedthr
ough
mydr awer sandt hr
ewbl ackstockingsatme.
Hel ookedatmeandsai dI'
l
lbebackj ustnow.

Hewentoutandcamebackaf t erafewmi nutes

withaplainblackdoekmadeoft -shi
rtmat eri
al.
Hewei ghedopt i
onsbetweentheski rtandt he
dressandsaidwe' r
egoi ngwit
ht hedr ess.He
askedmewhatshoesI '
m wearingandIsai dI
camewi thblockheels.Hethensai d"Heel sand
l
ongdr essesarewat erandoil.Acatast rophe.
Awel lorchest
ratedfauxpas!Idon'
tevenknow
howy oupeopl emanaget osleepatnight
knowingt hatyou'
recapableofsucha
disast
rouscr i
me!"Hesaidanddr amatical
l
y
threwhishandsi ntheair
.Ilaughedandhesaid
"Ahhhf r
iendIlostanail
"
Hehadshor taquabluemani curesandonewas
missi
ng.Itoldhi
m Ihav eplastersinmy
handbagandhewasr eli
eved." You'r
esmart
.
You'
reloyal
".Hesaidandheempt iedmybagon
thebed.Hegetscrazierbyt heday !

Af terfi
xi
nghi snailsi
tuati
on,het hensai d"Now
backt ot heshoes, wher earether est?"Ipoint
ed
undert hebedandknel tdownl ookingf orthem.
Heseemi nglycouldn'
tseesohet ookhi sphone
from thebedf ortorchassistance.Hepul l
edout
blacksuedepoi nt
edpumpsandsai d"There
ther e.
"Ihav en'tseetheseinawhi letheywer e
ev endust y.Hewentout si
det odustt hem and
cameback.Afterputt
ingonmydaycr eam, I
tookof
fmyt owelandputont hedress.Aft
erI
wasdone,hesaid"come",di
recti
ngmet othe
makeupchairinfrontoft
hehugeol dfashi
oned
mirr
orwit
hwoodencupboar dsandal l
.

Het oldmet osi tandst artedwr appingt hedoek

onmyhead.I twasl ongsoi twaseasyt owr ap
andcont r
ol aroundmyhead.Af terhewasdone
heaskedmei fIlikeit.Ilookedatt hemi rrorand
Ifel
l i
nlov e.I'
m notahugef anofdoeksbutI
l
ookedpr etty.Het hensai d" Nowf orthej acket.
Weneedl eather.Wher ei sthatjacketofy our s
with2si lverclip-onbut t
onsont hecol lar?
"Iwas
aboutt odi sputebutt hecl oudswer eclosingin
soIwi llprobabl yneedi t.Tumi knowsal lmy
cl
othesbet terthanIdo.It oldhimI 'm notsur eif
i
t'
sher eori nPLK." Youbet t
erpr aytoy our
ancestor sandt hecol leaguest hatit'
sher e".I
l
aughed.Il ovehi m!
*
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***
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***
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***
***
*
***
***
***
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***
*

"
Orobalekakgot
soBoi
kgant
shoOnal
erona
Mashego.
"
That '
swast heendingofherobi t
uary.The
closinglinethatputanoffi
cialstamponher
demi se.Ilookedatitonceandal lowedi ttofal
l
i
nt ohergr ave.Ever
ybodyhadal readydonet his.
Gomol emoandIwer etheonlyonesl eft.I
raisedmyheadt othement ryingt ofindMuz i
's
facebutIcameacr ossMrMoko' sf i
rst.He'
s
her e?Hegav emeanassur i
ngl ookandIf elt
comf ort
ed.

Gomolemo,Mypoorbaby.Hi
sey eswereal
lred
fr
om al
lthecryi
nghe'
sbeendoingsi
ncethe
coff
inwastakenoutoft
hehousetothehearse
whenwewer eheadedt ot hecemet ery.That'
s
whenhest artedcr yi
ng.Hewasqui etal lal
ong.
Seeinghimt hiswaycr ushedt her emai ni
ng
danglingpiecet hatwas, ofmyhear t.WhenI
sawhercof fi
nsl owlybei ngl ower ed, t
hat's
wheni tbecameof f
icialtomet hatshe' sno
moreandnomor etobeseen.I 'venev ercri
ed
thi
sbadl yi
nmyent irelife.Ev elynt ri
ed
comf ort
ingmeandmymot heratt hesamet ime
butshenev ersucceeded.I thur t.Badl y .I
thurt
s
havi
ngt oletgoofmysi ster.Ithur tshav i
ngto
beforcedt ol etgoofBoi kgant sho.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t49.

"It
hinki
t'
sbesti
fMolemocomest oli
vewi t
h
me".Mymom' swordsdi
pthemselvesint
othe
sil
encet
hatbeggedtobemaint
ainedinthe
l
i
vingr
oom.Shesay
sandl
ooksoutt
hewi
ndow.
Tii
set
so:Akeboneelekakany
oebot seeo.That
wil
lmeanhewi l
lhavetobepull
edoutofschool
andthatwil
ldi
srupthi
sli
feevenfur
ther
(Idon'
t
thi
nkthat
'sagoodidea..
.)
.
Mom: Pret
ori
aisnott
heonlypl
acewithgood
school
s.Wealsohavegood,pr
ivat
eschool
s
herei
ntown.I'
ll
hir
etr
ansportf
orhim.
Iinit
ial
l
ydidnotwanttobeapartoft
his
conv er
sat
ionbutIdon'
tthi
nkmom hasthought
thisthr
ough
Me:
Idon'
tthi
nk.
..
Ti
i
set
so:
Mol
emol
ovesi
tther
e!
Hei
nter
rupt
s
Him agai
n:And,Imeannodi sr
espectbythis
butyoudon'thaveast abl
ejobma.Your
husband'
sli
feinsuranceandpensionf undsare
nevergoi
ngt oaff
ordthedr ast
icchangesyou'r
e
aboutt
omake.
Ma:Leaveyouraccount
antsel
finyourof
fi
ce.
I
'mtheonlyonewhoknowst hedepthofmy
pocket
s.

Mom i sonesecr etivepersonwheni tcomest o

herfinances.She'sal soapennypi ncherofnot e.
Shewor kedasacl erkatourl ocal primar y
school butshesomehowl etgoofherj oband
herhusbandwast heonl yworki ngint hehouse.
Whenhedi ed,
his'money s'paidoutandshe
wast hesol ebeneficiar
y.Isendhermoney
everymont hbutshemai nt
ainsal i
festyleonly
sheknowshowshe' sabletoaf fordit.For
exampl e,therenovations,wej ustwokeupone
daytohersay i
ngshewant st or edoherhouse
andshedi dexactlythat.Kgant shoandIhad
alr
eadyl earnthowt okeepbot hourmout hs
shut.Sheal sosenthermoneyenoughf or
groceriesandt oi
letri
esbutst i
ll,nobodyknows
whyMr
sPi
err
eCar
din'
smoneyher
enev
err
uns
out
.

Myphonerangastheywerest
il
lar
gui
ngsoI
wentoutoft
hehousetotakeMrMoko'
scal
l
.
Me:
Sir
.
Hi
m:Mot
lhabane.Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
Idroppedmychestandshoulders.Ican'
tsay
I'
mf i
ne.I
'l
lneverbe.ButI
'
m nolongerindeni
al.
Itdoesn'
thel
p.
Me:
I'
mtaki
ngeachdayasi
tcomessi
r.
Hi
m:I
tcan'
tbeeasy
.I'
m cer
tai
n.
Me:
Yeah.
Hi
m:Ei
sh.
..
Him:Idon'
tmeantopushorrushyoubutI'
ve
cal
ledtoaskwhenyouthinky
ou'
ll
befitenough
tocomebacktotheoff
ice?
Me:I
'l
lcomethroughsowecandi
scusst
hat
f
urt
hersir
.Maybetomorr
ow?
Him:
Per
fect
.Justnoti
nthemor
ning.I
'
llonl
ybe
comi
ngi
nafter11.
Me:
Notapr
obl
em.

Wesai dourgoodby esandhecutt hecall.I

bri
efl
ylookedt owar dsthefenceatthebackof
thehousewi thoutpur poseandbroughtmy
eyesbackupont hesightofGomolemosi tt
ing
ontopofabr i
ck, faci
ngawayf r
om thehouse
andwat chingpasser sby.Myheartsank.I
exhal
edandwal kedupt ohim.Ihadnoi dea
whatIwasgoi ngt osayt ohi
m butIfel
tthe
needtospeakt ohi m.Igotther
eandsai d"Hey
boy",
put t
ingmyhandonhi shead,gi
v i
nghim
thewidestsmi le.
Hel
ookedupandsmi
l
edback,
weakl
y.
Me:
Uhm.
.I'
m goi
ngt
ogetsomesnacksko
shopongpl
easecomewi
th?
Hi
m:NahI
'
m cool
mangwane(
..
.aunt
y)
Hetear
edt
hegr
assof
fthegr
oundandl
ooked
away.
Il
ookedaroundforanot
herbri
ckandf
oundit
.I
wenttopi
ckitupsoIcansitnextt
ohi
m.Ithen
putmyhandaroundhisshoul
der.
Me:
Got
lal
oka.Shemaybegonebutherspi
ri
t
i
sal
way
sguardi
ngyou.
Heexhal
ed.
Hi
m:Guar
dingme?
Me:
Yeah.Asi
nyourguar
dianangel
.
Helaughedandsaid"Ther
e'snosucht hi
ng
aunty
.YoushouldstopwatchingSouthAfri
can
soapi
esandstartwatchi
ngreali
sti
cstuff
".I
don'
tknowifthi
siscomingf r
om aplaceofhurt
orhe'
sindeedmakinganinnocentjoke.
Me:
Theydoexi
st.Tr
ustme.
Hi
m:What
'st
hepoi
ntofhav
ingt
hem?
Me:
Topr
otecty
ouf
rom ev
ilt
hings.
Hi
m: Wher
ewasHERguar
dianangel
whenshe
waskil
l
ed?
Myt
onguef
ast
enedupi
ntoaknot
!

*
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*
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*

Ihav en'tbeenfeeli
ngqui tewellsince
Kgant sho'sdeath.Myemot ionalstateis
affectingmyphy sical heal
th.Everybodyhas
wentbackt otheirrespectiveplaces,incl
udi
ng
Muzi andhisfamily.Hewast ornbetween
stayingandgoi ngbackbutIconv i
ncedhi mto
l
eav e.Iknowhewon' tadmittomi ssinghiswif
e
andsonbutIknowhedoes.AndIal sowantt o
beal oneatt hi
spoint.
"Mama!Hav en'
tyouseenmypowerbank
anywher e?Mybat teryi
sdyingandIneedt ogo
out."Iyell
edoutfrom thecorr
idorbecausethe
l
astt i
meIchecked, shewasinherr oom.She
slowlyopenedthedoorwi thal ongtowel
aroundherbodyandanot herwr appedar
ound
herhead.
Her
:Or
aset
saeng?
(Whyar
eyoumaki
ngnoi
se?
)
I
fshewasanal coholdrinkerI '
dsayshe
hungoverfrom howshel ooks.Ij ustgl
aredat
herwalki
ngpastmewi t
ht hespeedofat ur
tl
e
withgl
oom i nhereyes,headi ngtotheli
ving
room.Ifoll
owedher .Shegott hereandsunk
downont hecouchf acingt heTV.Shet ookthe
remoteandswi tchediton, yawning
i
mmedi atel
yaf t
erthat.Bathong?

"
Arey
ougonnaanswerme?
"Isai
d.
Sherai
sesherheadatmeandsays"Fil
weke
reki
sadipowerbankousi
e?"
(DoIsel
lpower
banks?
)
"Youcould'vej
ustsai
dyou'
venev
erseeni
t
anywhere".Isai
dandatt
emptedtowal
kaway
.
"Checki
nmybedroom bospi
li
kaseng.Iputi
t
awaywhenRet
habil
earri
vedincaseshestol
e.
Youknowshehassti
ckyhands"
Thatwasn'tsodif
fi
cultnowwasit
?Ikept
walki
ngawayi nsi
lenceandwentstr
aightt
oher
room.Isearchedandfoundi
t.

Iwentintothel
iv
ingr
oom totakethecharger
cabl
ebecauseIhadtoint
enti
onofl ooki
ngfor
theshortoneIal
waysuseforthepowerbank.
Her
:El
egoreoyakaeohlapi
l
eskoenso?
(You
l
ookproper
lycl
eanedupt
oday.Wher
ear
ey ou
goi
ng?
)
Il
aughed.
Me:Soakehl
apeonot
herday
s?(
SoIdon'
t
bat
h..
.)
Her
:I'
m speaki
ngabouttodaynna.Iknow
not
hingaboutotherday
s.
Il
aughedhar
der
.
Me:
I'
m goi
ngt
othecl
i
nic.I
'
m notf
eel
i
ngwel
l
.
Her:Notfeel
ingwel
l
?Shel
ookedatme
suspi
ciousl
y.
Me:Yeah.Ithi
nki
t'
sbecauseofanxi
etyand
st
ress.Ij
ustwantt
omakesur e.
Her:Mmm.Okay .Obabot
sebagohlole
ever
ythi
ngakerbaby.
..
bef
oretheyprescr
ibe
anyt
hing?(
Tellt
hem t
oexamineyourwhole
bodybefore.
.)
Whodi
edandhandedt
hei
rMBChBcer
ti
fi
cat
eto
mymother
?
Me:
Oo'
kayDrVee.
Shelaughedandsai d"Ketsenel
ewenacr eche
geotl
ompi tsaVeeFilwe?"(
DidIattendt
he
samecr echewithyouforyoutomeVee? ).I
l
aughedandr anaway.Iwenttotakemy
handbagf r
om myr oom andheadedout.

Tumi
call
edandaskedmewhereIam.It
old
hi
mI'
m onmywayt othecl
i
nic.
Him:Oil
opreventa?(
Arey
ougoi
ngf
or
cont
racept
ives?)
Me:Imightaswel
l
.I'
mjustgoi
ngf
oracheck
up.I
'
m notfeel
i
ngwell
.
Him:Oswerekegalawena.Not
hingel
se.(
You
havealotofbi
l
e/gall
)
Il
aughedandsai
d"Maybe".It
oldhi
mI 'l
lcal
l
hi
m backwhenMuzi'
scall
camet hrough.I
answeredandwespokeasIwalkedtotocli
nic.
Hi
m:Usendl
eleni
?Itsoundsl
i
kei
t(
Arey
ouon
t
her
oad?
)
Me:
Yeah.Key
acl
i
nic.
Hi
m:I
sitf
ar?
Me: I
t'
squi
teadistance.ButIpreferwal
ki
ng
becauseI
'm notgoingint
oat axianyt
imesoon.
Him:
You'r
enotv
ele.I'
vebeenmeaningtoask
youi
fyouhav
ealicensenasthandwasami
?
Me:
Yeah.Ihadt
ogeti
twhenIwasst
il
ll
ooki
ng
f
orajob.
Hi
m:Good.Whyar
eyougoi
ngt
her
e?Thecl
i
nic?
Me:I'
m notfeeli
ngwel
l
.Whyar
eyouaski
ng
aboutmylicense?
Him:I
t'
snecessar
ythatyouhavei
t.I
fthati
sthe
caset
henyoushouldseeapriv
atedoctor
.
Me:
I'
mjustgoingforacheckup.Ther
e'sGPs
t
her
e.Necessary
?
Wewer
ehav
ingt
wosepar
ateconv
ersat
ionsat
t
hesamet
imeandIf
oundt
hiswei
rdl
yfunny
.
Him:
Alr
ight
.Tel
lmehowi
tgoes.Ihav
etogo
now.

Igotthecl i
nicandfoundalengt
hyl i
nepour ing
from theinsi
de.Itookthequeuetracking
numberf rom theguardsandwalkedi n.Iasked
thelastladyinli
newhatthey'
rewai t
ingfor.
Her
:Vacci
nat
ionf
ori
nfant
shun.
Herv
oicesoundedf
ami
l
iar
.
Me:
Agnes!
?
Shet
urnedherheadabr
upt
lyandl
ookedatme.
Her
:Bet
so!
?
OhmyGod!Thel astti
meIsawt hi
spersonwas
whenwewer ei
ngr ade10.Herpar
entshadto
movesotheypull
edheroutoftheschooli
nthe
middl
eoftheyear.
Wehuggedov erherbabyi nshockofseei ng
oneanot her
.She'sstil
lthesweet estinnocent
girl
nobodywasex pecti
ngt oev erhavesex.But
hereshewas, strappi
ngherbabyi nherf ront.
Shel ookedevenmor ey ell
owt hanshedi di n
highschool.Sti
l
l hasgoodl onghai r
.Ev eryone
thoughtshewasmi xedr acewhenshef i
rst
arri
ved.Mostev encall
edher" Lecol oured",
whichIr ememberherf ort akingoffenseeach
ti
meshewasaddr essedi nsuchamanner .

Her
:Youlooksosopr
ett
y.Moneyl
ooksgood
onyoushem.
Il
aughed.Shelooksgr
eather
self
.Shescanned
mefrom toptotoeandsai
d"You'
reeven
marr
ied!
?"
Me:
Hao.Youar
etoo.
Isai
dasIthr
ewmyey esonherlef
thand,
which
shehadonherbabycar
ri
er,
giv
ingextr
asuppor
t
t
oherbaby
'sneck.
Shelaughedandsai
d"Jaj
a",
rol
l
ingherey
esi
n
def
eat.
Ipeepedint
othecarr
ierandsaid"
Aww.She'
s
socute"
.Shetrul
ywascut e,
withapi
nkhai
r
bandaroundherfl
uff
ybabyaf r
o.
Her:Onl
ybecauseshe'ssl
eepi
ng.Agonacute
yaseloket
error
istmothoo(Ther
e'snot
hing
cut
eaboutthi
sterror
ist
)
Il
aughed.Shet henwi ggledherlegsaround
said"Yohket shwerekemor otoomongwe! ?
Pleaseholdherformef oraf ewmi nut
es"(
I'
m
sopr essed.
..
)shesaidassheunbuckl edthe
carri
erandinsist
edIt akethebabyoutofi t,who
wasnowwaki ngup.Ihadnochancet osay'no'
eveni fIwant
edt o.It
ookherandcar eful
ly
placedheronmychest .Shewassoador able
andchubbyi nherwhi tedresspairedwithti
ght
andt i
nypinkleggingsthatwentonl ydownt o
herknees.Hermatchingpi
nksocksmademe
feel
sobr oody
.Babiesaresoadorabl
eman.

"Butagnesi scar eless.Whati fIst eal t

his
baby ?"Ithoughtt omy selfasIcov er edherwi t
h
alightwhi tebl ankiehermot herhadpl acedon
topofherper ambul at ortopr ot ectherf rom the
sun.Agnesshor tlycameback, wipi ngherwet
handswi t
hherj eans.Shesmi ledandsai d
"Thanks"wi thhergol densmi let ryingt ot ake
thebabyf rom me.Andnot hisi snota
met aphor .Shehadf ullgoldt eet honbot hofher
uppercani nes.Irepl i
edandsai d" Nev erdot his
again.Peopl esteal babi estheseday s"IsayasI
trytohandherbackt ohermot her .Thebaby
crieswhenshe' ssupposedt or et urnt oher
mot her.Agnesl aughsandsay s"Thi sisaf ir
st.
I'
m ev ensur prisedt hatshenev ercr iedbecause
she'sv er
y ,verysel ectiveaboutwhot ouches
her "
.Itookherbackandshushedher .Shekept
qui
et.Agnessmil
edandsai
d"Shelovesy
ou".I
l
aughedandsaidit
'scommon.Babi
esdolov
e
me.

BabyBonol of inall
ysl ept.Igav eherbackt oher
mot herandt oldherIhav etogoon.We
exchangednumber sandIl ef
t.Igoti nandt he
cli
nicwasamess.Muzi wasr i
ght.Idon' tknow
whatIwast hinkingcomi ngher e.Iaskedone
gir
lwhowasonherphonewher et helinebegi ns
andwhatact uallyisgoi ngon.Sher ai
sedher
head, l
ookedatmeandnonchal antl
ysai d
"Mola"(There)poi nt i
ngwi thherhead.Ican' t
evenseewher eshe' spoi nt
ingexact l
y.Ilooked
atherasshecont inueddest royingthechewi ng
gum i nhermout h.Onenur sewal kedintot he
waitingroom and" Yohy ohy ohi fthere's
anybodywagohl okat sebemol efaseng, ke
molwet si
!!Di STIt set salenadi alegaf i
shaaker ?
Kerilebabat li
lengskal engont hisbench, baba
tli
lengf orv eksini
ibadul emot henl ena,
bai manal ebaAI DS, difever,di yeasti nfecti
on
andwhat everelse,mokhwi !Onumbermang
wena! ?"(. .
.withnoearont hispl anet, i
thast o
beapat i
ent !
!TheseSexual l
yTr ansmi tted
Inf ectionsy ouhav ear edrivingy oucr azyIsee.I
sai dt hosewhohav ebroughtbabi esforwei ght
recor ding,ont hisbench.Thosewhohav ecome
fort hev accinemustsi there.Theny ou,
pr egnantwomen, thosewi thAI DS, f
ev ers,yeast
i
nf ect ionsandwhat everelse, her e!You! ?What
numberdoy ouhol dont hequeue! ?)Shesai d,
direct ingherquest iontoonet imi dteenagegi r
l.
Bat hong!I sthisevenl egal?Can' tthisper sonbe
repor ted.Isthisev enallowed?Ij ustst oodt here,
flabber gasted!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t50.
Thenur sewal kedoutaftershewasdoner udely
rear
rangi ngt hequeuesandupset tingeveryone.
Shet ookonel ookatmebutnev ercamef orme.
Iwasr eadyt oputherinherpl ace.She'soldbut
disr
espect ful.Elder
shavet histendencyof
disr
espect ingki dsandexpect i
ngt hecompl ete
opposi teinreturn.Iwenttowar dst hebench
shepoi nt
edf orsickpeople.Ther ewasn'tmany
ofus.Onl y10ofus.Thecl i
nicwasf ul
lyesbut
most lyofpr egnantwomenandt hosewi th
babies.

It
ookmyseatnextt
oagr
annywhosmi
l
edat
me.Ismi
l
edback.
Me:
Dumel
akoko.
Her
:Dumel
angwanaka.
Shesai
dasshedismall
yfai
l
edtocatchher
cl
ini
cfi
l
efr
om sl
idingof
fherthi
ghandfal
li
ngt
o
thefl
oor.Ipi
ckeditupandhandedi
ttoher,
remember i
ngthatIal
soneedonebefor
ethat
Dracul
aofanur secomesbackformyhead.I
askedkokowher etogetafi
l
e.
Her:
Kemat homooetlamokl
ini
ki
ngwanaka?
(Isi
tyourf
ir
stt
imeheremychi
l
d?)
Me:
Eya(
Yes)
Shel
owl
ylaughedandsai
d"Keabona"
(Isee)
Her:Geebakemat homooet l
abatl
ogodi r
ela
yonakakuaphaphushi ngel
akua.Rey agona
geretl
ogamo.Nnaket li
shi
tsekehighblood
mo(Ifi
tisy ourf
irstti
mehere,they
'l
lcreatei
tfor
youinthatroom ov ert
here,whi
chiswher ewe
aregoingfrom here.I'
m her
ebecauseof
hypert
ension)
Shesaidandfi
nishedoffwhatwaslef
tofher
over
lyri
pebanana.Isai
d'Okay'
andsatback.
Wecont i
nuedspeaki
ngaboutwhereIcome
fr
om andwhosechi l
dIam.Sheendeduptell
i
ng
meabouthowhergr andchildrenarealwaysthe
fi
rstt
oknowandannouncet hatthemangos
haveripenedbutshe, t
heowneroft hetr
ee
nevergetsanyassistancewhenshesowsher
seeds.Iwaslaughinghy st
ericall
y.She'
sfunny.
Andagr eatstor
ytel
lertoo.

Itwashert imetogoi nsoIhel pedherup,

pickedupt hewal kingstickfr
om thefloorand
handedi ttoher.Sheki ssedmeonmyl i
psand
saidIshoul dbebl essed.Igotemot i
onalasI
wat chedherwal kaway .Sher emindedmeal ot
ofmygr andmother .

ItookoutmyphoneandwentonWhat sApp.I
repl
iedtoallmytextsandthenviewedthe
statusupdat
es.IhadsavedMabuy i
'
snumber
soIsawt hatshehadposted2updat esbutI
wasn'tsurewhethertovi
ewt hem ornot
.Idi
dit
any way.ThefirstpicturewasanAl dopaperbag.
Shecapt ionedit"Random gi f
tsfrom Husbae"
withar edheart.The2ndwasapi ctureofMuzi
sleepingpeacef ul
lyont hecouchwi thhisson
onhi schest.Icouldn'thelpbutfeel chestpains.
Idon'tthinkIcanev ergetusedtot his.Knowing
thatshe'sinthepi ctureisnotthatmuchofa
problem.Thepr oblem isseei
ngt hather eal
ly
doesl oveher.I'
mt ryi
ngtobeasci viland
accept i
ngasIpossi blycanbutthisi shard.

Iheardal oud"Next!"asIwasbusywi thmy

i
nt r
apersonalconfl
ict.Igotupwi t
hmybagand
wentst r
aighttother oom Iwasbeingcal
led
from.Iopenedt hedoor ,gotinandcl
osedit
thereaf
ter.Iwalkedov ertothedeskand
greetedher.
Shegr
eet
edmebackwi thoutr
aisi
nghereyesto
l
ookatme.Shewaswr i
ti
ngsomet hi
ngontopof
awhit
epapersi
tt
ingonbrownfil
e.Shefi
xedher
gl
asswi
thherindexf
ingerandsai
d"Theeeer
e
wego.
..
",f
ini
shi
ngupt hel
astbi
t.

Sheexhal edandsai d"Dumela"withawi de

smi l
e.Igr eetedheragainasshet ookher2L
Tupper war ebottl
eanddr ankherwat er.Shegot
upt opul lthebli
ndsopenandbl ewairontoher
face.Shewasheat ingup.Shelookedl i
keshe
wasi nher40sbutherbodywasst i
llinit
's20s.
Asl enderwi ththemostr oundcurves.Ihavea
tendencyofadmi r
ingotherwomen'sbodi es.
Kgant shousedt olaughaboutitsayingI'
m not
straight.Shewheel edherblackleatherchairout
ofherdeskandsai ddoy ouhaveaf il
e?
Me:
NoIdon'
t.
Shesoft
lyl
aughedandsaid"Icantel
l.I
'
venever
seenthi
sbeaut
iful
facearoundhere"
.Shesai
d
andshetookanewf i
lef
rom thepil
ethatwas
si
tti
ngonherdesk.Sheperusedherdesk
l
ooki ngforLordknowswhat ."Wher eisthat
pen?"Shesai dasshet ookherLabel l
ofrom her
drawer ,
smot heri
ngitoverherthickli
ps.She
brushedt hehairl
ineofherplait
edandst yled
dreadlockstwiceandsaid"Whatbr i
ngyouher e
myl ove?"Shecan'tkeepstil
l.She'sabusybody
j
ustl i
kemymot her.

Shef oundherpenandaskedi fIhavemyI .

D
withme.It ookoutmypur sefrom mybag,
pull
edoutmyFNBcar dandmi ndlesslygav ei
t
toher .Shel aughedandsaid"Idon'thav e
speedpoi nt".IlaughedatwhatI'vejustdone
andcont inuedt olaughharderwhensheal so
l
aughedandsai d"Youwantt oswipe? "
.I
searchedf ormysmar tcardandhandedi tto
her.Shebeganscr i
bbl
ingdownmydet ai
ls.
Me:Ihavenotbeenfeel
ingwellr
ecent
ly.I
fI'
m
notdi
zzythenIhaveaheadacheorI'
m
ext
remelythi
rst
yornauseous.
Isai
d,answer
ingherquest
ion.
Her
:Al
ri
ii
ght
..
Shesai
dasshecont
inuedwr
it
ing
Her
:Whendi
dal
loft
hisst
art
?
Me:
Let
'ssay
..i
t'
sbeenabout2weeksnow
Her
:Okay
.Ar
eyousexual
l
yact
ive?
Me:
Yes.
Her
:Yourl
astt
ime?
Me:
Ireal
l
ycan'
trecal
l
.2/
3weeksago?
Her
:Okay
.
Shesai dandsharplyputafullstoptoher
zigzagsentenceandpul l
edagr eenandwhi t
e
boxf rom t
hecornerofthetable,taki
ngouta
stick.Shepull
editoutofit'
spackagi ngandt
old
met ocomecloser.Shegentlyheldmyj awarea
andsai d"Openyourmout handr aiseyour
tongue."Idi
dexactlythatandshei nsert
edit
.I
t
henclosedmymouthandkeptthedi
sposabl
e
t
her
momet eri
nther
e,wai
ti
ngforthenext
i
nst
ructi
on.

Shecar ri
edonwi thot herthingsbef oreshet ook
thestickout .Shel ookedati tandr ecordedon
myf il
e.Shest oodupandsai dcomest andher e
formepl ease,pointingt othescale.Iat tempt ed
totakeof fmysneaker sandshesai d"Ther e's
noneedf orthat".Ithendi dwhatIwas
i
nst r
uctedt odoandgotof f
.Sher ecordedmy
weightandcheckedmyhear tr
ate.Afterall of
thi
s,shehandedmeacupandsai d" Gopeei nto
thi
s.Thet oi
leti
sdownt hecor r
idorony ourleft
i
fy ou'
renotwal kinginr everse"
.Ilaughed.She
l
aughedt ooandsai d"Phel aweseet hingsin
thi
scl i
nic".

Icamebackwi
tht
hecupandpl
acedi
tonher
desk.Sheey e-examinedmyur ineandwr ote
thingsdone.Shet hentookanot hersti
ckand
placeditinthecup.Wechat tedaswewai ted.I
beganhav ingheartpalpi
tat
ionsandmi ssing
outonsomepar t
softheconv ersati
on,meani ng
Ihadt osay" Huh?"ami l
l
iontimesl i
kear etard.
Whati fIam pregnant?

Shet ookoutthesti
ckandsai d"Whoa!"andI
j
ustknew.Iclosedmyey esf or2secondsand
pursedmyl i
ps.Iwasnervous.Scared.Shocked.
Shehel dmyhandandsai d"Congratulati
ons.
Butyoudon'tseem happy.Why ?"Ishookmy
headandsai d"Ij
ustwasn'texpecti
ngt hi
s".
"
Yourf
ir
stpr
egnancy
?"Shesai
d.
"
Yes.
"Ir
epl
i
ed.
"I
tcanbestr
essfulatyourage.Butl
uckil
y
you'
reamarri
edwomanandhopef ul
ly,he'sa
suppor
ti
vehusband".I
'
m guessingshedr ew
t
hisconcl
usi
onf
rom myr
ing.
"Unl
essi fy
ou'r
enotsurewhot hef
atheri
s?"
Sheasked, l
ooki
ngatmedubi ousl
y.Il
aughed.
Shejoinedme.Myanxi et
ydidn'
tst
opmef rom
noti
cingherbeauti
ful
teethandpoint
ynose.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
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***
***

Igothomeandf oundmymom sleepingonthe

couch.Howcouldshesleepwi
ththedoor
unl
ocked?Ishookherandsheimmedi at
elygot
upandscreamed" Skammolay
a!!
!!
"(Don'tki
ll
her!
!!
)
Me:
Mama?
Iaskedinconcer
n.Shewassweatingand
dri
ppingwet.Sheswal
lowedhar
dandexhaled.
Shethenpattedmyupperarmtwiceandsai
d
"I
'
m alri
ght
.I'
m alr
ight
.Itwasjustabaddr
eam"
,
sti
ll
try
ingtocatchherbreat
h.
Me:
Ithi
nky
ouneedt
oseeat
her
api
stmommy
.
Isunkdownont hecouch.Sher apidlyshook
herheadandsai d"I
'mf i
neFi l
we.Can' taper son
hav eherni ghtmaresinpeace? "Tr ustmymom
tosaysomet hi
ngoft hi
ssor tdur i
ngat i
mel i
ke
this."Whydon' tyou..
"Iwasaboutt oar gue
whenshesai d"Ntl
elekameet seot logelego
mpot sadi pasalemet shelo"(
Br i
ngmewat er
andst opaski ngmeaboutpasspor t
sandf ines)
Shet heninser t
edherf i
ngeri nt oherear ,
vigorouslymov i
ngitupdownandmaki ngt hat
"nkum nkum"soundt hatmostpeopl ewho
sinusiti
smakewhent hey'r
ei tchingf r
om the
i
nsi de.Igiveup.

Whenev
eninghi
tIf
eltl
i
kesomebodyhada
f
oundati
memachineandfoundpl
easur
ein
pressi ngthe" Accelerat
e"but ton.Itookanap
around14h00buti twasnow18h54.Ihadput
myphoneonsi lentandf ound10mi ssedcalls
fr
om Muzi .Ir
ejected3ofhi scallsint he
afternoon.Thi siswhyhewasof floadingallof
hisfrenzyont hecal l
but t
on.Muzi hasbeen
want ingmet ogetpr egnant .Hedi dt hison
purpose.Ihat emenwhodon' tconsul twit
htheir
partner siftheywantki dsandj ustgoaheadand
score.Butwhoam If ooli
ng?Thi si smybody
andI '
mt heonewhof orgottoputi ton
prevent i
on.I '
mt heoneatf ault.

UNEDI
TED. (NOI
NSERTTOMORROW)
I
nser
t51.

Forsomereason,
IhateTuesday
s.Theycome
wit
hthisbl
andandemptyenergyIj
ustdon'
t
underst
andeachmorni
ng."St
opcall
i
ngmei f
y
oudon'
twanttoseeyour
selfbl
ocked".That
's
t
hemessageIsentt
oMuzikayi
selastnight
.
"Atl
eastl
etmeknowwhatI
'
vedonet
hist
ime?
",
him.
"HLU-
KA-
NANA-
MI!
"(
LEAVEMEALONE!
),Isent
back.
"Yoh.Ngazengal i
thwalaidombol oshem. "(I
'm
faci
ngasev erehar dship)
.Hesai d.Thatf orced
met olaughbutIdi dnotr eply
."Ul alekahleke
sthandwasami ? "
(Sleepwel lmyl ov e).Sti
llno
repl
yf r
om me.Het hensentme6hear temojis
andImar kedi tasr ead."Senzeni na?Senzeni
nah?"Hesentt hi
swi t
hcry i
ngandmi crophone
emoj i
s.Iwast ryi
ngmybestnott ol aughbutmy
heart'
sinabili
tytost aymadathi mf orlong
keepsbet r
ay i
ngmeasperusual .ButIam not
l
etti
nghi m offeasy .

Iwokeupat6am andputat
hickr
edni
ght
gown
ov ermycot tonpur plepy j
amas.I twasr aini
ng
heav i
lylastni ghtI'
m sur prisedt hatther oofof
thishousei sstil
lintact.Iputonmysl ippers
andi nsertedmyphonei ntomypocketasI
draggedmy selftot hekitchen.Iwasf eelingli
ke
l
iquidcr api nahumanbodyasal way sbutI
alway scomeal i
vear ound8.Ipul ledthef ri
dge
openandt ookoutsomewat er.Ipouredi ti
na
glass,drankupandr antospi titi
ntot hedish
sink.Talkaboutr usti nabot tle!Iwipedmy
mout handsawmymom l ooki ngatme, with
bot hhandsi nser t
edi ntot hepocket sofhergr ey
gown.Shesai d"Mnkmnkmnk"andshookher
head.Ishr uggedandsai d" What ?
"
"Nex.Bar engcli
nic?"
(Whatdidtheysayatt he
cli
nic?)Ithrewmyey estothesidesin
annoyancebecauset hisi
sonet opicI'
drat
her
nottouch.Especi al
l
year l
yinthemor ni
ng.
"Okarrakawamahl oaamagol oat okol
ogamo
ti
leng"(Iwishthosebigey escouldfal
loutand
r
oll
ont
hef
loor
".
"Ketl
anoat opakat swelapelekabophel o"(I
'l
l
j
ustpickthem upandmov eonwi thmyl ife).
Thisisoneoft hoseday smeandmymom hav e
sil
lyandunnecessar yarguments.West andand
haveastarecont estfor4seconds.Shel aughs
andsays"Doy outhinkwheny ouspeak? ".Okay
thatwasast upidclapbacknowt hatIt hink
aboutit
.Ilaught ooandheadt othet op
cupboardtopul loutaboxofcer eal.Let'
shope
milkandmyt ast
ebudswi l
lbothbemat ur e
enoughtof orm anami cabl
ealli
ance.

Shegrabstheboxfr
om meandsayssi
t.She
takesdowntwowhitebowl
sandIpul
lthechai
r
outoftheki
tchent
able.
"Keser
iousj
waleFi
l
we, Ommelengaker?"
(I
'm
seri
ousnowFil
we,you'
repr
egnantr
ight
?)
Iexhal
eandgi
veherabl
ankst
are.See,
my
mom tri
estomakemef eelateaseand
comfort
ablewithconfidi
nginherabout
ever
ythi
ngandany thi
ngbutIj ustcan'
tseem t
o
begrowingintospeakingaboutsexand
ever
ythi
ngrelatedtoitwit
h.
"Youarenotachi l
danymor e.I'm notgonnago
crazyli
keIdidwithyoursist er.Shewasonl y16
whenshehadMol emo.Al thoughIhadwi shed
thatyouachieveall
yourgoal sbef orehav i
nga
babybutifit
'sherethenwecan' tturnitaway.
I'
m alsohappythatyoudi dnotgetpr egnantfor
someboy .Yourhusbandi sv eryresponsible
andI'veseenhowhepr ioriti
zesy ou.AndI '
m
happyinawaybecauseImayhav elostmy
daughterbutI'
m nowgai ningagr andchi l
d."
Shecl
appedherhandsandmov edherupper
bodyi
nacelebr
atorydance.Il
aughed.
"ButIdi
dnotconfi
rmy oursuspi
cionsy
etIdon'
t
knowwhatyou'r
ecelebrati
ng"
"Iwasjustaski
ngf
orf
ormal
i
ty.Isawi
tbef
ore
anybodyelse"
"
How?Andwhydi
dn'
tyousayany
thi
ng?
"
"Thisi
syourfi
rstpregnancy.Iwant edy outo
experi
enceall
theemot ionsthatcomewi th
beinganewmot herbyy ourselff
irst.You'
rea
grownwomanBoi kokobetso.Ican'talways
holdyourhandalltheti
me. "
"
SoI'm grownwheni tsui
tsyou?"It
houghtto
myself
.Icouldneversaythi
soutloudunlessi
fI
wantedthishousetohostanotherf
uneral
.
"
AND, Iwant
edyoutofeel
thepanicofhavingto
t
elly
ourmotherl
ikewealldi
d."Il
aughed!Ilov
e
t
hiswoman.

Butt
heword"mot
her"broughtmebackto
someoft
hequest
ionsIalwaysdoubtt
oaskher
.
"
Whatwasshel
i
kemama?
"
"
Who?
"
"Mymom.Whatwasshel i
ke?
"Shet ookone
bowl andplaceditinfr
ontofme.Shet henwent
tothef r
idgeandtookoutabottleofmi l
k.Ir
ead
herfacei mmediatel
ywhenshet ur
nedi nmy
dir
ectiontopourforme.Shewasnotangr y.
Thisisagoodsi gn.Shethensaid"Ohhhh..
Vivi
an...
".Asmileescapedherli
psandshe
shookherheadandwentt ogetaspoon.
"
Bat
hong.Saka?
"(Wher
eismyspoon?
)
"Getityour self
.Ican'tprepar
ecerealforyou
andst i
llgety ouaspoon.What '
snext?You
wantmet ofeedy out oo?You'r
etoospoilt
".I
l
aughedandgotupt ogetmyownspoon
becauseshemeanti t.Itookandplaceditinmy
bowl andwat chedasi tscoopedsomeoft he
milkintoi t
'scentre.Wewal kedtotheliv
ing
room andsatonopposi t
ecouches.Webot h
hatepeopl ewhosi tandr ubeachotherwher eas
there'
spl entyofspace.Kgant sholoveddoing
thi
s.I
fshef oundyouinthel
i
vingroom shewas
defi
nit
elygoingtocuddl
ewit
hy ou,f
orcef
ull
yso!

Sheswall
owsaf t
ershe'sdonechewi
ngand
says"
Everyt
hingthatIam,Vivi
anwasthe
complet
eoppositeexceptforhowIl
ook"Il
et
outagentl
esmi l
e.
"Weusedt oconf usemal omeJosephsomuch
thatheendedupgi vingupandcal li
ngr andom
nameswhenhesawoneofus.Whenwewer e
sit
t i
ngt oget herandhewant edoneofus, he
woul dsay" Maitemogel o!"Kennaowe.Kamoka
rel
ebabedi neresaf etole,r
ehupetseke
ditshego!Hewoul dqui cklymov ehiseyes
bet weent hebot hofusandsay
"Mai tshwar omat l
e!"ThatwasVi vi
an.Shewould
wantt orespondbecauseshewasqui ckto
crackbutIwoul dnudgeherwi t
hmyel bowso
shedoesn' tbecauseIenj oyedconfusingour
uncl e"(.
..thatwasme.Thebot hofuswoul d
notrespond, suppressingtheurgethelaugh).I
wasdy i
ngofl aughterasmymom nar r
atedt hi
s.
"Andt henwhatwoul dhedo? "Isai
dthroughmy
l
aught er."
Hewoul dscream formymot herto
comemakeadi sti
ncti
onbetweenher
"photocopies".Thatisonlywhenwewoul d
respondbecauseshehat editwhenwepl ayed
tri
cksonherbr other.Andshewasnotl azyto
giveachi l
dabeat i
ngjustforbeingnaughty"
Iwasl aughingmyl ungsoutaswehadour
cereals.I'
veneverexperiencedthefurythat
everybodykeptsay i
ngt hatmygr andmot her
had.Shespoi l
tmer ot
ten!Mymom usedt osay
"Neaf edil
ebogalegewenaobel egwa",
meani ng,shewasnol ongert hatsharpwhenI
wasbor n.

"
Andmyf
ather
?Whathappenedt
her
e?"
"
Trusty
out
orui
nabeaut
if
ulmoment
",she
r
epl
i
ed.
"
Whydoy
ouhat
ehi
m somuch?
"
"He'sasnake.Haf etwekeskhet he.Thetime
Mat l
ef el
lpregnant,2otherwomenwer eal so
expectinghiskids.Shewassonai ve.Sheonce
ranawayf rom homeandmi ssedanent ir
eweek
ofschool becauseofhi m.Igotthescol di
ngof
myl i
febecausemyf amil
ywasconv i
ncedI
knowwher eshewasandt hereforecoveringfor
him.Thatwast hefir
standt heverylastti
me
shehi dsomet hi
ngf r
om me.Iwasconv i
nced
thattheywoul dn'
tlastbuttheyactuall
y,ti
llshe
hady ou."
True.Mymom isnothi
ngli
kehert
win.The
womansitti
ngacr
ossmewoul dneverdo
somethi
ngli
kethi
s.Shepull
smenbyt henose,
nottheot
herwayaround.
Il
ookedatherf
orabri
efwhi
leandasked"
How
di
dyoufeelwhenIwasbor
n?"
Asmi l
egrewonherface."Iwasbrokent
hat
shehadtodiebutver
ythankful
thatshel
efty
ou
formetorai
se.Youweresoador abl
emyGod.
Sti
ll
are"
Ibl
ushed."Idi
dnotcarehowIwasgoi ngtobe
abletoaff
ordbothyouandKgantshobecauseI
hadrecentl
ystart
edworki
ngataf act
orythat
ti
mebutonet hingIknewforsur
eisthatIwas
goingtomakei twor
k."
Ismil
edatherandsai
d"Youdid.Youdi
dmake
i
tworkmama" .Shesmi
ledbackandwe
cont
inuedeat
ing.

*
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***

"Youcanwai
theresolongMrMokowil
lbeher
e
befor
eyougeti
mpatient
".Thet
empsai
d.
It
ookmyseati
nfr
ontofhi
sdesk.Il
ookedat
herwalki
ngoutandkeptmythought
stomy sel
f.
Herbiggestmi
stake?MrMokodoesn'
tlikei
t
whenhisguestswaitinhi
sof
fi
ceinhis
absence.Hedoesn'
twantany
bodyinhisspace
wit
houtanysupervi
sion.

Hewal kedi
nandcheerf
ull
ysaid"
Motlhabane!
"I
stoodupandshookhishand.Theonl
yperson
I'
veeverseenmybosshugishiswif
e.
"Isupposey
oucancl
ear
lyseewhyIneedy
ou
back?"
Il
augh.Iknewt
hathewasn'
tgoi
ngt
olett
his
sl
i
de.
"Unfor
tunat
ely
,Idon'
tthi
nkI'
l
lbecomingback
anyti
mesoon.Idon'tt
hinkI
'
llbecomingbackat
all
.I'
m sosorr
yforbei
ngadisappoi
ntmentSi
r"
Hi
ssmil
efadesi
ndef
eatandsays"You'
re
l
eavi
ngustogobeaZul
uhousewif
e?"
I'
m guessi
ngheal readymetMuzi att
hefuner
al.
Hencethisconclusionbecauseifi
twasgossi
p
aroundtheoff
ice,hewasn'tgoingtomenti
onit.
MrMokodoesnotent er
tai
ngossip.
"Aaaactuall
y,I
'
m goingtofocusonmybusi ness.
It
'sabouttimeitreachestheheight
sthatI'
ve
alwayssetoutf orit
.IwouldstaybutI
'm no
l
ongergoi ngtobebasedar oundPolokwane.
I'
vebeenpost poningthi
sbutthere'
snorunning
awayf r
om it"
Heexhaledandnodded." Iam justgladt hat
you'r
estil
lambitiousanddet er
mi nedmychi l
d.
AllIcansayisthat,youhav easmar theadt o
maket hi
swor k.Asl ongasy oudonotf orget
thatyourman'smoneyi snoty our s.Wemen
areunrel
iabl
ecr eatures.Takeitf r
om aman"
Isoftlyl
aughandnod.Hepull
southisdrawer
andt akesouthi
schequebook.Whatishe
doing?Hef l
ipsi
topenandwrit
esinsil
ence.He
tearsitoutandhandsi
ttome.
What!
?Thatwasmyr
eact
ionwhenIt
ookal
ook
ati
t.
"
SirIcan'
tacceptt
his.Thi
sist
oomuch"
"Ahundr edthousandsi stechnical
lynothi
ng
compar edtothemoneyy oubroughtintothi
s
companywi t
hal ly
ourhar dwork"heshov edthe
chequebackandst oodup.Hecameand
extendedhishandssoIcanhughi m.Iwalked
overtohi m.Reluctantl
y.Iwasv eryemot i
onal
sohebr ushedmyback, pushedmeawayt o
holdmyshoul dersandsai d"Thewor l
disyour
oyster.Gooutthereandmakeanamef or
yourself
".

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***

Amuwasr unni
ngar oundl
ikeaheadl
ess
chi
ckeni
nt heoff
ice.Iwasaboutt
ospeakwhen
Ibumpedi
nt oherandshehurri
edl
ysaid"
Babes
Ican'ttal
k.Let
'sdothisoverlunchokay?"She
cli
ckedherheelsandsher ant othecopy
machi neandIscreamed"I'
m nol ongercoming
back!"Shejammedi nhertracks.Sheslowly
tur
nedt owardsmeandsai d" Wat l
anga
ani?"
(You'r
eplayi
ngright
?)
"
Nobabes.Ir
esi
gnedt
oday
."
"
Wahemba!
"(
Youl
i
e!)
"I
'
m ser
iousl
ynotpl
ayi
ngAmukel
ani
."Isai
d.I
'
m
gonnamissher
.
"Shuuu..
"shedroppedherhandwit
hthefew
papersinit,t
aki
ngoffherspect
acl
eswit
hthe
other.Defeat
ed.
"We'
rest
il
lgonnaseeeachot
hert
hough.I
promi
se"
"
Andwhatam Igoi
ngt
obecomei
nthi
sof
fi
ce
wi
thouty
ou?
"
"
Don'
tdot
his"
"YouisaMabenashem.Any way,goodl
uck
babes.We'r
eobvi
ousl
ygoingtoseeeachother
.
Whetheryouli
kei
tornot
."
Il
aughedandwehuggedi tout
.Myey esshotat
Masediwhocl earedherthroat
,sear
chingfor
only
-God-knows-whatonherdesk.She
pret
endedt ohavebeenbusybutIknowshe
wasdy i
ngt oknowwhatwewer ediscussi
ng.
Letherdie.Ther
e'splent
yofspacei nthe
cemetery.

Iwalkedoutoft heoffi
ceandt houghtIshoul d
headovertot hemal l
.Iwantedaf ewessent ial
s
fr
om ClicksbutIwasdoubt f
ulbecauseIknewI
wasgoingt ospendmor ethanIact uall
yint
end
towhenIgett her
e.Ineverbuyaccor dingtomy
l
istwhenev erIgettoCli
cksandDi schem.I
alwaysseesomet hi
ngI'
llsuddenlyneedwhenI
getther
e.Theset woshopsar ethear chf
oest o
mybankbal ance.
Iwal kedt hereandIwasn' timpressed.Themal l
wasf ullofthewor ldandhi swife.Isuddenl y
thoughtofMuzi andwhyhe' sbeenqui et.Iwon' t
grovel tohimi fthat'
swhathet hinks.Iam angr y
athimy esbutheshoul dt rytospeakt omeno
mat terhowIr eact.Idon'tknowwhatI '
mt rying
tosaybutIknowi tmakessense.Ipai dMr
Sitholetodr ivemear oundi nhisToyotaev en
thoughhechar gedmeanar m andal eg.Bet ter
thatt hanget t
ingintoat axi.I'
m nowher er eady
forthatandIt hinkit'
saboutt imeIgetmy selfa
KiaPi canto.It'
swhatIcanaf f
ordwi t
hout
breaki ngmybankaccountf ornow.

Igotmyessent ial
sandasexpect ed,Ialso
boughtot
hert hings.Igotr
icecakesbecauseof
thehypearoundt hem andablender.Don'task
mewhatf or.IjustknowIneedit.Iwasdr iven
backhomeandIwasmetbyar edMer cedes
C63sCoupéwhenIgotof
fatt
hegat
e.I
tlooks
new.Butwhosei
sit
?

IthankedMrSi t
holeandwalkedi nt
ot hehouse
withmypl asti
cbagi nmyhandandmyhand
bagint heot her.Theyweresitt
ingint hel
iving
room, havingt heti
meoftheirli
v es.Ishould'v
e
known!Iwal kedpastandmymom say s"Yey
yeyyey ,bowa. "(
Comeback)
Ishutmyey
esi
nannoy
anceandwal
kedov
ert
o
them.
"
Sit
".Shesai
dandpoi
ntedonthedoubl
ecouch
t
hatMuziwasseat
edon.Ithr
ewmyselfther
e.
"
Sawubona"
.Hesai
dandsmi
l
ed.
"
Hel
l
o"
Mom stoodupandsai d"Washenyaka
enkemetse.I
twaslovelyseei
ngyou
mokgonyana"(
Mylaundr yi
swait
ingforme.
..
)
Theysmi
l
edt
oeachot
herandshel
eft
.

"
Uthi
uluny
way
ini
?"(
What
'sy
ourpr
obl
em?
)
Ithi
nnedmyeyesathi
m.Hest
aredback.I
exhal
edandl
ookedaway.
"I
'
m pr
egnant
."
Hepoppedhi
sey
esandi
mmedi
atel
ysmi
l
ed.
"Soit
'sconfi
rmed!
?"Hegotupandpi
ckedme
from t
hecouchinexci
tement
.Ihi
thi
schest
andtoldhimtoputmedown.
"
Wai
twhat
?Youknewaboutt
his?
"
"Ihadmysuspi
cionsbutIdi
dn'
twantt
ogetmy
hopesup"
Isuddenlygotemot i
onalwithseeinghowhappy
heiswher easI'
m not.Halfofmybr ai
ndoesn'
t
wanttoseehi m.Theot herwantshimt ohol
d
met i
ght.Iwantedtowr apmysel faroundhi
m
andinhalehisscent.Ial
sowant edtopunchhim
i
nthef
ace.

Hepul
ledmetowar
dshim wi
thoutwar
ningand
wr
appedhisar
msaroundme.
"Thanky
ousthandwasami
.Ther
e'snobi
gger
gif
tyoucoul
devergi
vemethanthis"
At
earescapedmyey
e.
"
I'
m scar
edbaby
"
"
Scar
edofwhat
?".Hewhi
sper
ed.
"
Idon'
tknow.I
'
mjust
..
."
.Isai
dandsni
ff
ed.
"Youdon'
thavetobe.I
'
llbewi
thy
ouev
eryst
ep
oftheway.Okay
?"
Inoddedonce.
"
Hm?
"
"
Okay
."Iconf
ir
med.
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

WeendedupatMuzi 'shotelr
oom.Idi dn'twant
toleavemymom byher sel
fbutsheal so
i
nsisted.Mor eli
kegotr i
dofme.Whenwe
walkedin,het ookof fhisshi
rtbecausehewas
for
mal l
ydressed.Het ookoffhisbeltandasked
mei fIwantt ojoinhimi ntheshower.Isai dno
andhel etmebe.It ookmyphoneandputi ton
thecharger.Iwasl azy i
ngaroundonI nstagram
whenMuzi camebackandt ookhislotion.He
hadat owel aroundhi slowerbody.Iwast r
ying
mybestnott olook.

Afly?Real
ly!
?Ihatefl
ieswi t
hapassi on.I
quickl
ywaftmyhandi ntheairtryi
ngt ogetri
d
ofit.I
tmakesthatannoyi
ng" bbzzzz"soundt i
l
l
i
tlandsonthewal l
abovet heheadboar d.It
ake
oneofmysandal sandclimbont opoft hebed.
It
'sgonnaknowmet oday .Muzi l
aughsand
says"Uzowababyi yekelentoizoziphumel
a"
(You'
llendupfall
ing.Leaveitaloneit
'l
l
eventual
lygetoutonit'
sown) .
Itur
nbackathim andsay"That'
sthet
hing.I
don'
twantittogetoutbecausei
thasagr eat
er
chanceofmakingit'
swaybackinagai
nt hat
way.Ineeditdead"
Hel
aughsandsay
s"Mur
der
er!
"
It
ryt
oki
l
litbuti
tmanagest
ogetaway
.
"See?Nowy
ou'
vewast
edy
ourener
gyov
er
nothi
ng"
What
?
"
Whatar
eyousay
ing?
"Ishoot
.
"
Not
hingbabyI
'
mjust
..
."
"Ar
ey ouimpl
y i
ngthatI'
m st
upid?
"IaskasIput
myhandonmychest .Icanfeelt
hetears
coming.Isni
fftr
yingtopushthem back.
"
Ini
?Chabo!Angi
zangemi
nangi
..
..
"
Youhavenor
espectf
ormeMbul
azi
!"Isayand
sobl
oudly
.
"
WhatdoyoumeanIdon'
trespecty
ou?Wher e
i
sal
loft
hiscomi
ngfr
om? "Heshoutsback.
"
Forst
art
ers,
yout
ookyourpr
oblemswith
Mabuy
iandmadethem mi
ne.Secondl
y.
..
"
"
Whoawhoawhoa. .Ididwhat
?Whatar
eyou
t
alki
ngabout
?"Confused.Hesay
s.
"Youwentoutdr inki
ngbecauseoft hedrama
thatarouseinKZNandcamebackt ousemeas
ast r
essball.Youtookmyv ir
ginit
ywhiledrunk.I
thoughtyou'dbemor econsiderate!
"Ishout
downathi m whileIstandontopoft hebed,
throwinghiswhiteshirtt
othefloor.
"
Hawu.Ithoughty
ouenj
oyedi
t"hesay
sand
r
aiseshi
shandstoshowconf
usion
"
That
'snott
hepoi
nt.Thepoi
nti
s..
.youwer
e
drunk!AndItoldy ouhowmuchIdon' twanta
babybutyoust il
ldidnotpullout!"Istompmy
footonthebedandsubsequent l
yf al
lonmy
backandbounceont hebed.Hewi peshis
mout handshakeshi sheadwhi leappr oaching
me.Heget stot heedgeoft hebedandpul l
sme
bymyf eet.Itr
yt ofi
ghthim butfail.He's3
ti
messt r
ongert hanme.Hequi cklypullsthe
restofmybodyandcl i
mbsont opofme.He
l
ooksmei nt heey ewi t
houtbli
nkingnorsmi l
ing.
"Whatdidy ousayy ourprobl
em isagai n?"
"I
'
m notgonnarepeatmyselfl
ikeCDy agobale
scrat
ch!Youfuckedmewhiledrunkandnow..
"
heinter
rupt
sandsay s"
WellI
'm sobernow.
"and
smasheshissoftli
psagai
nstmine.

Irecei
vethem wi
tht
hesameamountofenergy
andmat chhi
shungerf
orme.Hecont
inued
(r
emov ed)
Tobecont
inued.
..
UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t52.
(Removed).Iwashappy .Genui nelyhappy.We
gotdone,l
ot i
onedandIgoti nt ohissweat pants
andhist-
shirt.Hegotdr essedi nbl ackri
pped
j
eans,ablackv -neckshor t
-sleev edt-
shir
tand
purewhit
esneaker s.Iwaswat chingand
admiri
nghim ashedi dalloft his.Everenj
oy ed
watchi
ngy ourmanj ustbeinghi msel f
?That
wasme.Ev ent hesmal lestthingsabouthi m
charm met othecor e.Helookedar oundforhis
watchandhecoul dn'tf
indit.
"Baby
.Haven'
tyouseenmywat ch?"Hesaidas
heconti
nuedtoscanther
oom withhiseyes.I
sawitonthebedbutIsai
d"Nope.Ihaven'
t."I
shookmyhead.
"
Hawu"
.Heknel
tdownt
osear
chundert
hebed
wit
hconfusi
ononhisface.Iqui
cklysl
idmy
handundert
hesheets,
grabbeditandthr
ewit
undermypil
l
ow.Hesawme.Dammi t!
Helaughedandsai
d"Ungenel
wey i
nikahl
e
wena?Letha"
(Whathasgot
tenint
oyou?Bring)
Isai
dnoandsul
ked.Idi
dn'
twanthi
mt ogo.I
wassti
l
lcr
avi
ngmor eofhi
satt
enti
on.
Hecamet omeandsai
d"I'
m notgoi
ngtoask
youagai
n.Let
hai
washil
ami mommy "
"
Butbaby
..
."
"Phakamil
e?"Hethr
eat
enedbutcoul
dn'
tst
op
himselff
rom l
aughi
ng.
"
Idon'
twanty
out
ogo"
.Imumbl
ed.
"IknowandIdon' twanttogoeit
herbuttheJHB
offi
ceneedsme.I fitwasn'
tforl
ekhandalakho
eli
shisay
oIwoul dn'
tevenbehere"(
ifi
twasn't
foryourhothead)
"
Youcanl
eav
etomor
rowmor
ning"
.Isai
dand
squeezedmyli
psoutl
i
keababyl
ockedoutofa
candystor
e.
"
BabyI
'
m goi
ngt
omi
ssmyf
li
ght
.Let
habo"
Ilookedawayandshookmyhead.Hegoton
topoft hebedandlookedatmeonce.Ithought
hewasgoi ngtohugmebuthet ickl
edme
i
nst ead.Il
aughedmylungsoutandbeggedhim
tost op.
"Let
haiwashlam"hesmil
ed,withhi
shandsst
il
l
onthesidesofmystomach.Icoul
dn'
tstop
l
aughing.Heti
ckl
edmesomemor e.
"
Okayokay
!!
"Isai
dasIr
aisedt
hepi
l
lowf
orhi
m
t
otakei
t.
Hetooki
t,l
aughedandsai
d"Nxa"
.Iwat
ched
hi
m asheputiton.
"
Yousai
dyou'
l
lmi
ssy
ourf
li
ght
"Ir
emar
ked
"
Yes.And?
"
"
Buty
oudr
oveher
e"
"
Yourpoi
nti
s?"
Hewaspr
ovoki
ngme.
Isai
d"Mci
i
m"andl
ookedaway.Hel
aughedand
cametoki
ssmeonmylips.
"Ngiy
adlal
aman. "Hesai dashetookt
hekey
from t
hebedsidetableandsaid"Konj
ekthi
wan?
Nithi
Girl
swithMer csbenzenjani
?"Hesaidas
hewav edthem i
nmyf ace.
Ilookedathi
m blanklybef
orewhathesai
d
regist
eredi
nmybr ain.Idr
oppedmyjawand
said"Noway!!
".
Helaughedtooandsai
d"Yesway !
"Iscr
eamed
tothetopofmylungsandjumpedontohim.He
conti
nuedlaughi
ngatmyreact
ion.What
!???
??

UNEDITED (
Iti
sshortbecausey
all
don'
t
deser
veitt
obegi
nwi t
h.
I
nser
t53.
Icouldn'tst
opbombardi
nghi
m withst
ringsof
kisses.Thebeastpar
kedout
sidei
sreal
lymine?
Igotov erwhel
medwithemot
ionanddroppeda
tear.
"Hawu.Ukhalel
ani
kemanj
e?"(Whyar eyou
cryi
ngnow?)Heaskedwi
thgreatconcer
n.I
wasstil
li
nhisarms.
"I
'
m notcry
ing.I
'
mjust
..t
oohappy.Ican'
t
beli
evey
ou'ddosomet
hingl
iket
hisforme"
"Youhadbetterbel
ievei
tkesthandwasami.
Youdeserv
eev eryt
hingcomingyourwayfrom
me.Andplease,all
owmet ospoi
lyourott
en.
Don'tev
entrystopmeot herwi
sesoxabana
minanawe"(.
.wegoi ngtofi
ght)
.Igiggl
ed.
"Justdon'
tov
erdoi
t"Ipoi
ntedmyi
ndexf
inger
athim.
"Suqal
i
le.Soxabana.
..
"(
You'
vestart
ed.We
gonnafight
)Hepoint
edhisf
ingerbackatme.
Il
aughed.
"I
'
m abitr
ust
ythough.Thelastt
imeIdrovea
carwas2monthsago,whichIdidn'
tdothat
oft
en"
"Ayihl
uphiimotobaby .Futhi ni
nenhlanhlanina
ma2000becausey ouwer eborninaner aof
automat i
ccars.Beyizok'
ny isangereverse
i
manual '(
Acarisv eryeasyt ohandl
e.You'r
e
l
uckybecausey ou'
reami l
lenialandyouguy s
werebor ninaner aofaut omat i
ccars.Amanual
carwasgoi ngtocausey out oshitonyourself
.
Inreverse)Heshotoutal augh.
Hecal
lsmea2000becauseI 'myoungert
han
hi
m.Itr
iedcomposingmy sel
fbutasal
ways,
his
l
aught
erwascontagious.
"You'
resoannoy
ing"Isai
dasIt
hinnedmyey
es
athim.
Hekeptonl
aughing.I
diot
.It
ri
edrel
easing
mysel
ffr
om hishandsbutheti
ght
enedhishol
d
onmywaist
,laughi
ngatme.Iwasl aughi
ngi
n
breaksandsul
kingatthesameti
me.Whenhe
fi
nall
ygotagri
p, heki
ssedmeonmyf or
ehead
andsaid"You'
resocutewhenyou'
ret
ryi
ngto
beangry".
Ismi
l
edandt
oldhi
mtol
eav
emeal
one.

*
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*
***
***
*

Muzi cal
ledTebogot ocomedr i
v emehome
andaskedmet odriv
ear oundint hev i
ll
ageto
remindmy selfwhatit'sli
ketodr i
ve.I'
m notthat
rustybecauseIusedt odri
veKgant sho'
scarbut
thefearofbeingbehi ndast eeringwheel by
my sel
fstil
lhauntsme.WhenIgothomet hat
day,mymom coul dn'tstopcryingandt hanking
Muzi overthephone.Shewasmor ehappyt hatI
won'teverhav etogeti nt
oat axi anymore.What
shedidn'tknowi sthatsheal sowon' thavetoin
acoupleofday s.Thepolicekeepsay i
ngthey'
re
sti
l
linvest
igati
ngwhenev erweenqui reabout
Kgantsho'
scase.Thecommuni t
yisst i
l
lnot
sl
eepingont hemat t
er.Thelocalmashonisa
sayshemi ghthaveani deaoftheki l
l
ersmight
bebutheneedst omakesur e.I'
m notsosure
aboutthecontemplati
onoft hisrevenge
anymore.

Ical
ledTumi t
o" comeseesomething".He
cameatnightwhenIwasal r
eadyinmy
pyj
amaswat chingTVwithmymot her.Hedidn'
t
knock.Heneverdoes.
"Kedumaekaokahwet
sahandl
eel
aefi
sha
oneday"
(Iwi
shyou'
dfi
ndt
hehandl
ehot
someday)
Tumithrewhimselfontopofthecouchshewas
si
tt
ingonandl aughed.Hewaswear i
ngshades.
Heleanedovertomymom f orahugwhil
e
seatedwit
hhi swhi
te,
leat
herover
nightbag
underhisarm.Shehuggedbackwithonehand
withthewidestsmi
leonherface.
"Ther
e'sareasonwhythosear
ecal
led
sungl
asses".Isai
dasItext
edMuzi
backon
WhatsApp.
"
Haveyourl
i
tresandmindy
ourown.Mommy
..
"
Hesai
dandmadeadr amat
icsni
ff
.
"Yabeel
eengy
anongMor
atoa?
"(Whati
sit
now?)
"Hedumpedme!
"Hesai
dandt
ookof
fhi
s
glasses
"Whichone?Salam Sal
am?"Mymom repli
ed.I
shotoutalaugh.She'
sref
err
ingt
otheIndi
an.
"
No.Thecashier
.Ol
awaChecker
s"(
Theone
f
rom Checker
s)
"AndIdon'
tknowaboutt
his?"Iexcl
aim.He
point
edatthegl
assofwaterofthecoff
eetabl
e
andsai
d"Yourl
i
tres"
"Mcii
m."Isai
dandfocusedontexti
ngmyman
whowasal sonowtakingl
ongertorepl
y
becausehewasbusy .Nor
mall
y,hewouldn'
t
evenbeonWhat sApp.
"
Doesheknowthatyou'
regr
aduat
ing?
"My
mom sai
dtoTumi.
Tumi
laughedandIl
aughed.
"
Sukaemabhozeni
"Isai
dwhi
l
elaughi
ng.
"Waitebal
a.Asemat sul
ungmowena
mabhozenikegaka"
(
Thisi
smyhouse.NotZulul
and)
.Ipoi
ntedmy
t
ongueatherandsmi
rked.

IshowedTumi
thecarandhecoul
dn'
tst
op
screami
ng.
"Fr
iendhowdi dyouprayfort
hisman?
"Hewas
sti
l
l gobsmacked,conf
usedastowhattot
ouch
andwhatt
oleav
eint
hecar
.
"Isai
d"God.Ineedaman.Apr
ovi
der
."Isai
d
andlaughedimmediat
ely
.
"I
'
m goi
ngtochurchonSundaytocopyand
past
ethatpr
ayershwem!!
!"Headmir
edthecar
andsai
dhe'shappyforme.
"Ar
gggfokabahemekamapi pemaan!"(
They
mustbreat
hepipes.
.)
Hesaidaft
erhestepped
outoft
hecarinthegaraget
oadmirethe
ext
eri
orsomemor e.
"
What?
"Isai
d.Icoul
dn'
tcont
ainmyl
aught
er.
He'
sst
upi
d.
"Ofcour
se.I
t'
sprotocol
.It
'smandat
ory
.
Standar
dprocedur
e.Nyisment
!"
"
Myword!"Thi
scari
sgoi
ngt
obel
ongt
ohi
m
mor
ethanitdoest
ome."

Wewentbacki
ntot
hehouseandf
oundt
hatmy
mom hadl ef
tforbed.Tumi andIpart
edway s
ont heexitfr
om theli
vi
ngr oom asIwentinto
theki t
chenandhimt othebedroom.Igott othe
kit
chenandi mmedi at
elyremember edthatI
didn'taskhim whathewant stoeat.
"Bes!Kegotl
elekapapa!?"(Shoul
dIbr
ingyou
pap?)Iyel
l
edfrom theki
tchenandevenstood
onmyt oestorelaythemessage.
"Ha-
uh.Etl
afel
akadi
sneke"
(No.Justbr
ing
snacks)
"
Letl
agorobal
akontl
eny
ena!
"(Thet
woofy
ou
wi
ll
gosl
eepoutsi
de!
)
Webot
hlaughedandy
ell
ed"
Sor
ry!
".
Itookoutabowlandplacedont
het
abl
e.My
phonerangandIansweredit
.
"Mawenganezami"(
Mot
herofmyki
ds)He
sai
dandIbl
ushed.
"
Mbul
azi
"Isai
dinal
owt
one.
"Akufanel
engabeulel
ewena?
"(Ar
en'
tyou
supposedtobesleepi
ng?
"
"
Iwi
l
laf
terI
'
m doneeat
ing.
"
"I
t'
s4mi nut
est
o12baby
"Hesai
d.Soundi
ng
shocked.
"
So?
"Iasked.Wi
thoutacar
eint
hewor
ld.
"
Hay
i.Udl
ani
?"(
Whatar
eyoueat
ing?
)
"
Papandi
nkomaz
i"Isai
d.Exci
ted.
"
You'
resocut
e"Hesai
dandsof
tl
ylaughed.
"Al
ri
ghtit
hingiqedel
elelangizokwazi
ukulal
a
nami.Ngiy
ak't
handay ezwa?"(Letmefini
shup
her
esoIcansl eepaswel l
.Iloveyouhear?)
Igi
ggl
edandsai
d"Il
ovey
out
oo"
"
Awungizwawena.Ngithengi
yak'
thanda
mkami
?"(You'
renotheari
ngme.IsaidIl
ovey
ou
mywif
e? )
Il
aughed."
Ngi
yak'
t
handanami
baba!
"
"Ja!
"Hesaidandf
ir
mlyappr
oved.Icoul
dn'
t
stoplaughi
ng.
"By
ebye.Ungi
qedel
ai-
air
ti
meangifounanga
ngamatshenamanzil
ana".(
You'
redeplet
ing
myair
ti
meIdidn'
tcal
lusi
ngrocksandwat er
her
e)
Iconti
nuedlaughi
ngeventhoughhehadcutt
he
cal
l.Imademyf oodandtookoutapackof
cheesecurl
sforTumi.
Iwenti
ntothebedroom andhewasn'tther
e.He
cameinshort
lyaft
ermei nhi
spy j
amashor t
s
andavest,
putti
ngawayhi st
oil
etr
ies.
Hel ai
dhi
mselfonhissideofthebedand
grabbedt
hecurls.Iwaseatingandtext
ingAmu
atthesameti
me.Af terIwasdone,Iputthe
bowl ont
hebedsidetableandlai
dbackalso.
"Aren'
tyougonnataket
hatbacktot
he
kit
chen?"Hesaidasherai
sedhisey
esfr
om hi
s
phonescreen,chewi
ng.
"Ahwho'
sgoingtodi
eifIl
eav
eithere?
"Isai
d
andcar
elessl
ywavedmyhandintheair
.
"
Bihyoui
salwaystheonetoscol
dpeopl
ewho
l
eavedi
shesl
yingaround.
"
"Li
feistooshor
t."Isai
dandl
aidonmysideto
facehim.Helookedatmesuspici
ousl
yand
shookhishead.
"I
nothernews,Iam pregnant"Isaidandlooked
up,avoi
dinghi
sreaction.Si
lence.Ilookedback
athim.Hehaddr oppedhisjaw.
"
What
?"Ishr
uggedandasked.
"Kaspeedso?Zul
usper
ms!
"Hesai
dand
clappedonce.
Il
aughed.
"
Tjohayi
niggadoesn'
tpl
ay"Hesai
dand
l
aughedaswell
.
"Hesai
dithi
msel
f"Isai
dandputonanaught
y
smir
k.
"
Hedi
d!?
"
"
Fri
end!Iwentof
fathi
m andniggaf*
**edme
t
il
lIsanghi
sprai
sesandstar
tedpray
ingin
t
ongues"
Tumi
laughedandal
mostscr
eamed.
"
Tel
lmemor
e!"
"
Ist
il
lgetbut
ter
fl
iesj
ustt
hinki
ngabouti
t.
"
"HayiMuzi isonal aneofhi sownshem.The
Power ball
ofal lmanj ackpots.
"Ilaughedand
blushedatt hesamet ime.Reali
zi
ngt hateven
withalltheflawst hatcomewi ththismarri
age,I
am actuall
yqui tebl essed.Wecont inued
gossipingunt i
l04h30.Meani ngwehadt osleep
i
nt hewhol eafternoont henextday .

*
***
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*
***
**
-
Aweekl
ater
-
Ihaveameet ingwi t
hmyweddi ngpl annerwho
arri
vedlastnightf r
om JHB.I 'm beginni ngto
showt hatI'm pregnant.Ifal
linlov ewi thmy
babyev er
y day.IknowIdi dn'twanthi m( orher)
butthere'
sj ustsomet hingaboutbei ngpr egnant
forthemany oul oveandwhocl ear l
yl ovesy ou
backandi sn'tafrai
dofshowi ngit.Hegota
parceldeli
v er
edt omymot her'sdoor st epand
wentIopenedi t,i
twasabankcar dandaK53
book.Ilaughedatt hebookandaskedhi m what
thecardisf orandhesai dit
'smy" crav i
ngs"
account.Imel tedont hespot !Whydi dn't
anybodyt ellmehowni ceitactuallyisspendi ng
yourman' smoney ?

I
'vebeenfeel
i
ngnauseousl at
elybutInever
thr
owup.Ican'tstomacht apwat er
.Iresort
ed
tospri
ngwaterinstead.I
tdoesn'ttast
e
heavenl
ybutit
'smor etol
erable.Igotupfrom
mybedandwentst r
aighttot hebathroom.My
mom makesmybedf ormet heseday sbut
whenIaskhert odoot hercertai
nthingsforme
she'squicktosay"You'repregnantFi l
we.Not
paraly
zed".Shehasherday s.Iputonanext r
a
l
arget -
shir
tdressandandsandal s.Idroveto
townt omeethimt here.Ibrushedmyweav e
beforeIgotoutofthecarandst eppedoutwi t
h
myhandbag.

Iscoutedar
oundforhi
mint herest
uar
antand
hewav edatme.Iwentst
raightt
ohiscor
ner
tabl
eandwehugged.Het ypedsomethi
ngon
hisphone,l
ockedi
tandputitaway.
"
Arey
ouwel
l
?"Heasked.
"
I'
m good.Howar
eyou?
"
"
Goodgood.Caughtt
hef
lubuther
ewear
e"
"
Aski
i
es"
"
Nobi
ggi
e.I
'
m sosor
ryabouty
oursi
ster
."
"
Suchi
sli
fe.
"Isul
l
enl
yresponded.
"Al
ri
ght.Wemayhav epostponedt
hewedding
butthatdoesnotmeanthatIwassleepi
ng.
"
"
Sebenzagi
rl
"It
easedandhel
aughed.
"St
op.Itol
dy outhatI
'm goi
ngtosendy our
measurement stoSamoraandIam gladt o
announcethatyourdressisr
eadyforfi
tti
ng."
Hesaidashecl appedhishandstoget
her.
"Uhm..aboutt hat.
."Iwaspreoccupi
edwi t
h
Kgantsho'sfuneral whenhesentmet heSMS
soInev errepli
ed.Ev eni
fIdidi
twouldn'thav
e
helpedbecauseIdi dnotknowthatIwas
pregnantalthoughIsawt heweightgain.I
thoughtitwasj ustgoingtobeashortphase.
"Donotdr
ivemecrazy
.Whatisit
?"hesaidas
hehunghishandsi
ntheai
rinsuspense.
"
Preggi
es"Isai
dandst
ret
chedmypur
sedl
i
ps.
"
What!?
"Hewassol oudt
hewhol
erest
aur
ant
t
urnedheadst
olookatus
"
I'
m sor
ry"Isai
dasIburi
edmyheadi
nmy
f
oldedar
msont het
abl
e.
"
Andnowy outel
lme!?Theweddi
ngi
sin2
weeks!2f
'ngweeks!
"
"Idi
dn'
tmeant
o"Isul
ked.
"Contracept i
vesar eaf orei
gnconceptt oyou
aker?Andt hisist hev erysameper sonwho
want edat ummyhuggi ngdr ess!"Hescol ded.I
don'tunder standwhathi spr oblem is.Thi
sis
myweddi ng.Iwant edt opost poneitbutmy
mom andMuzi conv incedmeot herwise.I'
m
l
uckybecauseI '
v ebeenget tingcompl i
mentsof
howpr et
tyandl i
ghtIl ookt heseday ssoI'm
suret hatIwon' tbel ookingl ikeI'm preppi
ngto
goactonWr ongTur nonmyweddi ngday.He
packeduphi smagazi nesal ongwi thhis
macbookanddi ary.
"
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
"Iaski
nconf
usi
on.
"Awayf rom you.Farfaraway !I
'l
lcal
l y
ouwhen
I'
mr eady !You'r
eluckyyourhusbandi s
generouswi thhispayment sotherwiseandI
sweart oGodi nhissilkrobe,Iwasgoi ngto
dropy ourcarelessa**!
"Hesai dandmar ched
out.Hef orgothiscarkey sandreali
zedt hi
s
whenhegott othedoor.Hecamebackt ogetit
andev erythi
nghehadi nhishandswent
tumblingdown.
"Satanonkaparet
sesolalaphitoday!Arg
dammi t!
"(Thedevili
swear i
ngacoatt oday.
Special
lyforme!)Iwantedt olaughathis
episodebutIcouldn'
taffordto.Isti
ll
needhim
asmypl anner.

UNEDITED. (
Imightpostanot
heri
nser
t
l
ateronshoul
dIf
eel
anybet t
er.
)
I
nser
t54.
Iorderedbr eakfastaf t
erTlhogi'
sr ampageous
egress.Eatingbymy selfi
npubl i
cwei ght
sall
typesofawkwar donmebutIwasf eeli
nglazy
todrivebackhomeatt hesamet i
me.Ir i
pped
thesweet enersachetopenandpour edallofi
t
i
nt omyt ea.Iwasaboutt ostirwhenabody
camet ost andi nf r
ontofme.Ir ai
sedmyhead
andIcoul dn'tbelievemyey es.Kgokagano!?I
j
uststoodt herewi thmyey eballshanging,
gawkingathi m.
"Aren'
tyougoingtosayhitothel
ov eofyour
l
ife?",
hesaidandflashedhi
ssmile.Atoolhe
hasalwaystrust
edandar medhimselfwit
hto
dropfemaleunderwear.
"
What
?How?Wh.
.wher
ehav
eyoubeen?
"Iask.
"Around.SouthAfri
caistool
argef oramanl
ike
my sel
ftositaroundinoneplace"
-Hesaidashe
provokedthechairinfr
ontofme, pull
i
ngi
tout.
"
You'
reev
enpr
ett
iert
hant
hel
astt
imeIsaw
y
ou"
"YoulastsawmewhenIwasinmatr
ic.Ican'
t
becrustyfor6year
s"Ir
epl
i
edandst
ir
redmy
tea.Helaughed.
"
Sti
l
lfei
styasev
erIsee"Her
esponded.
Kgokaganoi sthef i
rstguyIal mostdr ownedi n
l
ov ewi t
h.Hewast heboyev er
ygi r
ldr ool
ed
overatassembl yandev erywherehepassedi n
theschool premi seswi thhi ssquad.They
couldn'tstopt alkingabouthi s"rugby "body.
Mostoft hem justj oinedt hechesst eam so
theycoul dbecl osertohi m.Hewas3school
yearsaheadofme.Iwasi ngrade9whenhe
wasi nmat r i
c.Henev erstoppedchasi ngme
eversinceIgott otheirschool .Hei soneoft he
reasonswhyInev ermadeanyf emal ef ri
endsin
highschool becauseIwasappar ent
lywast he
maf i
kizolot hatonl ycamewi ththeintentionto
snatchboy fri
ends.Ionl yhonour edhi srequest
whenIgott ograde11.I twasal lrosesand
chocol ateunt i
lIwentawaywi t
hhimi nt he
mi ddleoft henightwi t
ht heintentofsl eeping
ov erathishouse.Wewer emadl yinlov e.So
madt hatIev enforgotthatIhav eamadwoman
foramot heraswel l
.Shecameknocki ngonhi s
father'sdoorwi ththepol i
ce.From t here
onwar ds,shekeptacl oseey eonme.Meani ng
weonl yhadt odat eatschool .Heendedup
sleepingwi ththe" I
T"girloftheschool .WhenI
askedhi m aboutit,hetoldmet hatmybei nga
momma' sbabyi sruini
nghi sst r
eetcr edand
thathecoul dn'
tcarryonwi t
hourr elationship.
Hear tbreakbef r
iendedmef orther estofmy
highschool years.

"
Howdi dhedoi
t?"Heasked.Wi
thhi
sey
es
f
ixedonme.
"
Whodidwhat?"Iasked.Hepointedtomyri
ng
wi
thhi
shead.Icouldn'
tdi
sti
nguishifi
twas
sadness,
disappoi
ntmentori
ndi
ff
erencet
hatI
wasseeingonhi sface.
"Whatdoyoumean?"Hesatbackandputhi
s
handsinhi
spocket
s.It
ookasipofmytea.
"
There'
snowayy ourmom j
ustal
l
owedhimto
marr
yyoujustl
i
ket hat
.Sohowdidhedoi
t?"
"
Hemanagedbecausehe'
snoty
ou"
Hedr
oppedhi
sey
es.
"I
'm sorryRemsy .IwasaboyandIwasst upid.I
should'vefoughtfory ousoonerbutit'
sonly
hit
ti
ngmenowt hatlett
inggoofy outhenwas
thebiggestmi stakeofmyl i
fe.Thatmetalon
yourfingerisstabbingt hr
oughmyhear t."
"Let
'sl
etsl
eepingdogslie.What'
sgoi ngonwith
you?How'sli
feingeneral?
".Isai
d,tryi
ngtoshy
awayfrom t
het opict
hathascarelesslypl
aced
i
tsel
fonthecent eroft
hetable.
Heexhal
ed."
Arg.Li
fei
seasyf
lowi
ng.Wego
wher
ethewi
ndbl
ows"
Il
aughsof
tl
y."
Ihear
dyouhav
eal
awf
ir
m now"
.
Helaughsandsay
s"Okwel
emang?
"(Whot
old
youthat
?)
"
Lei
nalamot
hokekgomo"
(Aper
son'
snamei
s
wor
thacow)
"Ar
gyeah.Butyouknowl awhasalway
sbeen
mydad'sdream so.
.iti
swhatiti
s"Hesay
sand
shr
ugs.
"Youdon'
tsoundhappy .
"Irai
semyey esathim
anddropthem backtomyt ea.I
fthiscupcoul
d
tal
kitwould'
veprobabl
ytoldmet hati
thashad
enoughofkissi
ngtheteaspoon.
"
NoI'
m notcompl
aini
ng.Themoneyisgoodbut
t
her
e'sj
ust.
..
"her
unsoutofwords.
"
Justwhat
?"
"
There'
sthi
svoi
dinmyli
fet
hatI'v
ebeent r
ying
t
ofil
l
.Ican'
tpi
npoi
ntwhati
tisexact
lybutI'
ve
beenfeel
ingli
keIhaveeveryt
hingbuti
t'
sst
il
l
notenough".Hesaysandlockseyeswit
hme.
Iclearmythr
oatandr
aisemyhandf
ort
hebi
l
l.I
didn'
tevenhavemyomelet
te.
"
Arey
ouhappy
?"Heasks.
"
Yeah.Iam.Happy.
"Heshootshiseyesdeep
i
ntomineandsays"You'
rehi
dingsomethi
ng"
"I
'
m nothidi
nganythi
ng.Ihavenoreasonto.
Youbrokemyheartafterpr
omisingmethe
worl
dandImov edon.Younev ercont
actedme
buty
ou'reheret
ell
..
."
"It
ri
ed.Tr
ustme.Youdon'
trespondtoDMsand
Ial
sohadnogut st
ocal
lyou.Ionceasked
Boit
umelofory
ournumberandhebitmyhead
off
."
Thebil
larri
vedandIt ookoutaR100not eand
shovediti
nthere.Istoodupfrom t
hetable,
tookmycarkey sandmyphoneandbi dhim
goodbye.Il
efthim seatedi
ntherest
uarantand
hefoll
owedmeshor
tl
yaf
tert
hat
.Thesunwas
outtoplay
.
"
Remsy!
"Hesai
dIunl
ockedmycar
,wal
ki
ng
t
owar
dsit.
It
urnedbackathi
m andsnapped.
"Iam notwhaty oulackinyourli
fe.Wewere
kids.There'areasonwedi dn'tl
ast.Whatwe
haddoesnotev enqual i
fyt
obel abell
edasa
relat
ionship.Idon'tknowabouty oubutI
'm
grownnow.Pl easeleavemeal one."
Igoti
ntomycarandl
efthi
mther
e.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
**

Icall
edTlhogiwhil
eIwasi
nthereandhepi cked
up.Hesoundedl i
kehewassleepi
ng.Iasked
forhi
slocati
onandhesenti
t.Hewasn' tokayat
all
.Idoubtthi
sisj
ustaboutmydress.WhenI
gotthere,
hewasdressedinbaggybutli
ght
sweatpantsandatranspar
entvest
.Heopened
thedoorwithabott
leofchampagneinhishand.
"Youokay?"Iasked,
judgi
ngf
rom howt
err
ibl
e
helooked.
"Flu,
menandbridepr
obl
ems.I
'
llsurv
ive"I
cl
osedthedoorashewal
kedovertohisbed.
Hissheet
sweremessedup.
"
Ijustfi
guredthaty
ougoingoffatmeli
kethat
wasn'tj
ustaboutmydress.Wannatal
kabout
i
t?"
"Nono.Donotexempty ourselffr
om this.You
deservedmywr ath.Whatpeopl edon't
understandisthatifI'mt heonepl anni
ngy our
enti
reweddingf rom t hedecort otheattir
eand
yourdressturnsoutt obeaf lop,I
tisgoingt o
smeardungonmyr eputati
on.Iwor kedhar dto
bewher eIam.Idon' tappreciatei
twhenpeopl e
don'
tcooper
ate"
Shuu.Idi
dnotreal
i
set
hatt
hisi
showdeepl
yhe
fel
taboutthi
s.
"
Aski
i
eshl
em.West
il
lhav
eti
me.I
..t
hink"
Hedownedhischampagneandtur
nedt
olook
atme.Hecametostandinf
rontofme.
"Ti
me?H*eifI'
m changingy ourdr
essthat
meansyourhusband'ssuitalsohastochange.I
askedy
ouforalistofbridesmaidsandthei
r
measur
ementsdidy ousendi t?"
Heshothi
seyesatmewaiti
ngf
orananswer
.I
pur
sedmylipsandl
ookedaway
.
"
Arey
oust
il
lcal
cul
ati
ng?
"
Ilaughed.Hesmil
edbutt
ri
edtosuppressi
t.He
thenlaughedaswell
andcametosinkdownon
thebednexttome.
"Mcii
m wanstr
essawait
si.Andwecan'
t
post
poneitagai
nbecauseSamorai
sgoingt
o
dropus.He'stheonl
yper
sonIt
rust
"hesai
d
andrai
sedhi sbot
tl
etohi
smouth.Hedr
ankhal
f
ofthebott
le.
"Wecanal waysbuyadr ess"Isayandshrug.
Peoplekeeptell
i
ngmeaboutt henervest
hat
manifesti
ntopanicatt
ackst hatbri
desal
ways
facebutI'
mf eel
ingnoneoft hat.
"
Arey
ouondr
ugs?
"Heasked.
"What
?Mysist
erboughtherdr
essatashop
andshewasst
unningi
nit.
"
Hedr anksomemor eandsaid"Mayhersoul
resti
npeace.Youar enoty oursi
st erandI
wasn'ttheonepl anningherweddi ng".Hewas
speakingl i
kehehadapegonhi snosebecause
ofthef l
u.Hesniffedsohar dwhiler ubbi
nghi
s
palm ont heopeningofhi snostr
il
sand" Yoh!
Menar el i
kethi
sv ir
us".Themucouswas
getti
ngt ohim.Icouldn'thel
pbutlaugh.
"
Wannat
alkabouti
t?"Iaskedandsubt
lysmi
l
ed
athi
m.
"Notreal
ly
.WenajustknowthatIf
eel
used.
Nxa"Hesai dashetookhi
sphoneand
unlockedi
t.
"
Used?
"
"Yes.Used.Nev
ersupportamanfi
nanci
all
ywa
nkwa?Ar gwhoam Ital
ki
ngto?You'
remarri
ed
toabank"
Il
aughedoutandt
oldhi
mit
'sal
sonoteasy
bei
ngwithhi
m.
"
Itmi
ghtnotbebutIknowt
hemanl
ovesy
ou"
"
Aret
het
woofy
ouf
ri
ends?
"
"Nope.Ionlygott
oknowofhisexist
encewhen
hewasget ti
ngmarri
edthefi
rstt
ime.Youknow
whathesai dwhenhecall
edmef oryou?"I
shookmyheadandgav ehim alookthatsai
d
"Keeptal
king".
Hesai
d"Idon'
tcar
ewhati
tcost
s.Justmake
sur
ethatatt
heendoftheday,
mywi f
eisgoi
ng
tobeahappybr
ide.Canyoudothatf
orme?"
Imel
ted.Ilov
e-hateMuzi
'
sabili
tyt
ochar
m me
of
fmyf eeteveninhi
sabsence.

*
***
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***
***
***
***

I
t'
sanewdayandTl hogifor
cedmet ocome
wit
hhim al
lthewaytoJoburgtogomeetup
wit
hSamora.Wewer ehonestl
yrunni
ngoutof
ti
meandIwasunderminingthesever
it
yofthis.
Whenwegott her
e,t
heyhuggedeachotherl
ike
ol
dfri
ends.
"Isupposet
hisisourbeaut
if
ulbr
ide"
.Samor
a
saidashekissedmeonbot hmycheeks.
"Yes.Thenowpregnantbeaut
if
ulbri
de!
"Tl
hogi
saidashepushedbothofusoutofthewayand
gotintot
heSamora'sshop.It
houghthewas
alsogoi ngtogoof fatmebuthel aughedand
placedhi sheadonmyshoul deri nstead.He
shookhi sheadandwhi spered"Don' ttakehi m
tohear t.Buty ou'
reluckyyouf oundmei na
goodmoodt oday .Docomei n"hehel dmyhand
andwal kedinwi thme.Theshopwasamess.
Sewi ngmat er i
alandmachi nesev er
y where.It
l
ooksl i
kehewor ksbyhi mselfher e.Hewal ked
ov ertothebackandIwat chedhi m model i
ng
hiswayt hereinhisf l
i
pf l
ops.Hewaswear i
ng
redandbl uesummershor tswi t
hhi sy el
low
thighsoutandat ropi
calvest.Tlhogi was
seat edandal readyonhi sphonewhenIwas
l
ur kingaround.Hecamebackwi tht hedr ess
andsai d" Al
rii
ight"whilepl
acingi tcarefullyon
thehangi ngr ail
.Icouldn'
tbelievemyey es.The
dresswasacompl etedream.

"I
fmyv i
sualmeasur
ingski
l
lssti
l
lserv
emewell.
Thisdr
essisst
il
lgoi
ngtofit
.You'
resti
ll
goi
ng
tolooklikeagoddessbut (
heraiseshishand)
you'r
egoi ngtobeuncomf ort
ableallday.You'
re
notshowi ngy etfr
om howIseebutcombi ned
withthecor set,y
ouar edefi
nit
elygoingtohav e
ami scarri
age."Hescannedmeabi twit
ha
cal
culatingfrownonhi sfaceandsai d"You
knowwhat ?Wear enotchangingthedress.We
j
ustgoi ngtoal t
eritali
tt
lebit
."
"
Am Inotsupposedt
obef
it
ti
ngi
t?"
"Wer
ey ounotsupposedtobeon
cont
racepti
ves?"Tl
hogi
quickl
yexcl
aimed.
Samoralaughed.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
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***
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***
***
*

Muzi doesnotknowt hatIam Jobur

gandI
plannedonsurpri
singhim.Iknewhewasatt he
offi
cefrom whathetoldmesoIaskedTl hogit
o
takemet her
e.Hement i
onedthathehasa
fr
iendatMaloConsoIwassur eheknew
exactl
ywhereitwas.Hedr oppedmeof fandas
Iwasaboutt ocl
osethedooraf tergetti
ngoff,
hesaid"Monnahasur pr
ise'i
weausi .I
fy oufi
nd
him sexi
nganotherwomani nthatof f
iceyou'r
e
welcomet ocal
lmeI '
l
lcomef etchy ou".Il
augh
andclosedthedoor.

Igottotherecept
ionandf
oundaskinny
darkski
nnedladywit
hthel
ongesthai
r.
"
Aft
ernoon"
"
Hel
l
o!Welcomet
oMal
oCon.Howcanwehel
p
y
outoday
?"
"
IsMuzi
kay
isei
n?"
"
Muzi
kay
ise?
"
"Par
donme.MrKhumalo"If
igur
edshepr
obabl
y
doesn'
tev
encal
lhi
m byname.
"
Ohy
eahhei
s.Buthei
scur
rent
lyengagedi
na
meet
ing.Doy
oumi
ndwai
ti
ng?
"
"
Howl
ongi
sitgoi
ngt
otake?
"
"They
'vebeeni
nther
einher
eforaboutanhour
now.Theyshoul
dbeoutinafewminutes.
"
"Ohher ehecomes. "Shesai dast heliftpul led
i
tselfapar tandt heypour edout .Ijustst ood
thereadmi r
inghisy ummysel f.Babyl ooked
dapperi nagr eensui twi t
habl ackshi rtanda
mat chinggr eentie.Itwasn' tt
oot i
ght.Itwasn' t
toobi g.Justt heperfectfit
.If ellinloveal l ov er
again.Hewasst il
ltalki
ngt othe2mensohe
didn'tnot i
cemypr esence."I'
ll
gett hear chitect s
onit.Theyshoul dbedonebyt heendoft his
weekandemai lt
hef inalproductt omeandi f
you'realsonothappywi ththatt heny ou' ref ree
totakey ourbusinessel sewher e.Myapol ogi es
forthei nconvenience" .
"
Noneedtoapol
ogi
ze.Wearenotr
esponsi
ble
f
ort
hemishapst
hatourempl
oyeestendt
o
make.Wejustt
houghti
twouldbebestt
o
speakt
oyouinperson"
.Thewhit
emansaid.
Theyshookhandsandt het
wowal
kedout
.Onl
y
thendidhetur
ntowardsmeandworet
he
widestsmil
eonhisface.
"Lookwho'shere? "Hesaidashecameov erto
hugme.If el
li
ntohi sarmsandhi sarms
embr acedme,slightl
ypicki
ngmeup.Asal ways,
hescentwasl ethal.Hekissedmeonceand
l
ookedatt herecept i
oni
stwhowasal soall
smilesandsaid" Whydidn'tyoucal
landtellme
thatmywi f
eisher eSamant ha?"
"
Shedi
dn'
ttel
lmewhoshewassi
r"
"
Argi
t'
sokay.Thanksneh"hesai
dandhet
ook
myhand,
headingtotheel
evat
or.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t55.
(
Remov
ed)

"
Baby
?"Hecal
ledoutashet
uckedi
nhi
sshi
rt
wi
thasmi
leonhisface.
"
Hm?
"Ir
espondedt
ohi
scal
l
.
"Yourunder
weari
sinsi
deout
".Hesai
dandtri
ed
byallmeansnotl
augh,
wit
hhi
seyebrowrai
sed.
Il
ookeddownandi
mmedi
atel
yshotoutal
augh.
Ishookmyheadandtooki
tofft
of i
xit.Iputmy
dressonandsunkdownonthecouch.Iwas
exhaust
ed.
Icaughthi
mr edoi
nghi
stiewi
tht
hemost
i
nnocentlookonhisf
ace.He'
sabeaut
if
ul
humanbei ngandIwi
shmybabycomesout
l
ookingli
kehim.
"
Ungi
bukani
umamathekangal
endlel
a?"
(What
y
oulooki
ngat,
smi
l
inginthatmanner
?)
Idi
dn'
tev
enr
eal
i
seIwassmi
l
ingt
hroughoutmy
st
ari
ng.
"Nothi
ng.I
'
mjustadmi
ri
nghowhandsomey
ou
are"
Hecur vedhisupperli
pt owar
dshisnoseand
blushed.Hedoest hi
swhenhewant stohi
de
thefactthathe'
sblushing.Whathedoesn'
t
knowi sthati
tmakeshi m morecuter.

Aft
erhewasdoneget t
ingdressedhehel
dout
hi
shandsoIcancomet ohi
m.It ol
dhimI'm
l
azy.Helaughedandcamet oseatnextt
ome.
Helookedatmeonce,droppedhiseyestothe
fl
oorandsmiled.
"
What
?"Ienqui
red
"Ubuhl
ebakhoabuj
wayel
eki
"(
Ican'
tgetusedt
o
howbeauti
fuly
ouare)
Ismi
ledshyl
yandthankedhimfort
he
complement
.Hehadhiselbowsonhisknees
wit
hhi shandscal
mlyt
angl
edar
oundone
another.
"
Weneedt
ogot
oKZNbyt
heway
"hesai
d.
"
Bef
oret
heweddi
ng?
"
"Yes.There'saceremonythatBab'Ngema
needst operformforthebothofus.Myf at
her
call
edmel astni
ghtandsaiditshoul
d'v
ebeen
donet hatdaywewer einhishut"
"
Oh.Thedayhesai
dthet
ensi
onwast
oomuch
f
orhi
m? "
"Yeah"Hesai
dandsatbackonthecouchwit
h
hi
shandsinhi
spocket
s.Hishai
rcutwasfr
esh.
"
Areyourbrowstri
mmedbaby ?
"Iaskedandhe
i
mmedi at
elyl
aughed,
exposi
nghisbeaut
if
ul
t
eeth.
"
Thehel
l
?"Heasked.
"
What?Theylookl
i
ket
heyar
e."Isai
dand
l
aughedwit
hhim
"Ngiyi
ndodayomZul
umi nababyangizenzi
lezo
zi
nto.Amasimbak'
phelalawo."
(I
'm aZul
uman
babyIdon'
tdoanyofthatcrap)
Ilaughedoutloud.Hesi
de-ey
edme,smil
edand
said"Nxa",
looki
ngawaytowardst
heviewof
thecity
.Theuncivil
i
zedZul
umaninhimis
alwaysreadytodefendhi
m.
"Okayke.What
'st
hiscer
emonyf
ori
fImayask
baby?"
"
Appar
entl
y,t
oprot
ectourki
dsf
rom sei
zur
es
t
hatwebothsuf
fer
edfrom"
"But.
..I
'm al
readypregnantbaby.Ismybaby
safe?Ifel
tpanicbrushingit
'sroughhandson
thesidesofmyhead.
Heexhaled."Angazist
handwasami"hesai
dand
wi
pedhi sfacewithhishand."
Iaskedmydad
t
hesamequest i
onandf r
om howheanswered
me,Ishouldn'
thaveimpregnatedyoubef
ore
t
hatceremony "
"
Yoh"Isul
lenl
ysaid.Ihonest
lyhadnoi
deahow
t
oexpressthefeari
nmyhear t.
Hetookouthisr
ighthandf
rom hi
spocketand
pul
l
edmei ntoahug.
"
I'
ll
doev er
ythi
ngi
nmypowert
opr
otecthi
m.
Ngiy
afunga"
Hesaidasheputhisheadovermine.Ican
sensethathe'
sal
soasscaredasIam.
"
Thanky
oubaby
"Hesuddenl
ysai
d.
"
Whatf
or?
"
"
Yourpanicki
nglikethi
smeansy ouloveand
wanthi
m.Iwasscar edy ouwer
egoi ngto
r
esenthim.Ngizwil
ekthiwakwenzeka"(
Ihear
d
i
thappens)
Ismi
l
ed."
IdoubtIwoul
dbet
hisat
tachedt
o
himi
fhewasn'
tyour
s"
Hesof
tl
ylaughedandaskedmewhy
.
"
BecausewenaMnt
ungwa.
."It
urnedt
olookat
hi
m.Hewasl
i
steni
ngat
tent
ivel
y.
"
Mbulazi
,Mzi
l
ikaz
ikaMashobana,
Mpey
ana,
Ndaba"
Heblushedandswall
owedbothhi
slips,
exposi
nghisdi
mple.Hethensl
owlyshookhis
headandsqueezedmyhand.HelovesitwhenI
prai
seandcall
outhiscl
annames.
"Iam surethatevenifitdoeshappen,God
forbi
dt hatyoustopl
ov ingmeoneday ,mybaby
i
sst i
llgoingtobeingood, fat
her
lyhands.
You'r
eav er
yresponsiblemanbaby .
"
Hesmiledandpul
ledmychinwithhist
wo
fi
nger
sandkissedme.Hethentoldmet ocome
si
tonhislapandIdi
dexact
lythat.
"Vul
al ezindl
ebezakhoungilal
ele,ungi
zwef ut
hi
ungizwisi
se.Iam nevergonnast oplovi
ngyou.
Youar emyhear ti
nhumanf orm.Ungi zwil
e?"
(Openy ourearsandli
stentomet ounderst
and
me...didyougetthat
? )
Ismi
l
edandnodded.
"Good.Anot
herthi
ng,
Ineedameet
ingwi
thy
ou
noMaDl ami
ni"
"
Why
?"
"
Z"
Il
aughedoutl
oudandpl
ayf
ull
yhi
thi
schest
.
Tlhogi call
edandsai dhe'
sgoingbacktoPLK.
Muzi rolledhi
sey esandaskedmei fIhav
eto
l
eav e.It ol
dhim mymom needsme.He
under stoodandst ooduptoaccompanyme
outside.Whenwegotoutoft heli
ft,
webumped
i
nt oMandl atexti
ngonhi sphone.
Theycheerful
greet
edeachot her.Mandlat
ri
ed
gi
vinghim ahandshakebutMuzi coughedand
puthishandsbackintopockets.
Mandl
alaughedandsai
d"Uzawufazimpundu
bawo"
(You'
regonnadi
efrom assoneday)
Muzi
laughedandsai
d"Fseg"
Isthi
ssomeki ndofencr
yptedcodeor
something?I'
m nott
hatgoodinXhosasoI
didn'
tunderst
andwhatwasgoingon.
Muzitol
dhi
mtogoupasheaccompani
esme
out
side.
Iaskedhi
m what'
sgoingon.Hel
aughedand
sai
dnothi
ng.Ij
ustknewhewasn'tgoi
ngtot
ell
me.Boys!
Tlhogiarr
ived.Muziki
ssedmeout sidethe
offi
ceswithhishandsonmywai standt oldme
totravel
saf el
y.Heonlygreet
edTlhogiaf t
er
thatandthenwal kedbackint
otheof f
ice.

*
***
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***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***

WhenIgothome, mymom wasst il

lsit
ti
ngin
theliv
ingr
oom watchi
ngTV.She'snormall
y
asleepbythi
sti
me.Iarri
vedear
li
erthanI
expect
edbecauseTl
hogidr
ivesl
ikeamaniac
that
'si
npossessi
onofacoupleofcouponsf
or
extr
ali
ves.
"Heyma.Gor
engosar
obal
e?"
(Whyar
eyounot
sleepi
ng?
)
"Kerobal
abj
angol
etsel
engFi
lwe?
(HowdoI
sleepwheny
ou'
ret
ravel
i
ng?)
Shewasnoti
nagoodmood.
"Oshar p? "IsaidasIplacedmyhandbagont he
coffee.Shei mmediatelysai
d"Heyheytlosa!
Ditshi
pi tselengkotlasegabagy agodi
tl
a
ntsheny etsat af
ole"
(Thosemet al
sunderyour
bagar egoi ngt odamagemyt abl
e)
Irol
ledmyey esandremovedit
.Shedidn'
tsee
mer ol
li
ngthem becauset
heonlysourceof
l
ightwasthet el
evi
si
on.Ot
herwise,
theCBDi n
hell
wasgoingt ogoupinflames.
Shecoughedandaskedmetoremovemy sel
f
bef
oretheTVbecauseIdon'
tactbet
tert
han
herNi gerians.Iswear,ifmymom hadt osav e
oneper sonbetweenmeandJacki eAppi ah,I
woul dn'tmakei toutoft hatpr edicamental iv
e.I
kissedheronhercheekassheaf fecti
onately
thesi deofmyf ace.Shel ovesmycheekki sses.
Butt heyst i
llwerenotenought omov eherey es
from t heTVandgr abherat tention.Iwant edus
tospeakaboutKgant shobecauseIf el
tlike
she'shav ingahar dtimecopi ng.Shecl eanst he
houset hreeti
mesi nonedayi fnot4.I'm
wor r
iedabouther .Butthenagai n,thi
sisVi olet
wear etalki
ngabout .Shecoul druinmywhol e
yearwi t
honlyonesent ence.

Ipickedupmybagandwentst rai
ghttomy
room.Itookaqui ckbat
handputonmyr edsi
lk
nightdr
ess.Ical
ledMuziandhi
sli
newasbusy .
ThissaddenedmebecauseIwasl ooking
forwardtospeakingtohi
m.Iwait
edforhi mto
callmebackbutendedupdozingoffinstead.
Hecal
l
edmeoutofmysl
eepandIwaspi
ssed.
"
Yes?
"Ianswer
ed.
Hecutthecall
.Il
ookedatmyscr eenwonderi
ng
whatthehel
lisgoi
ngonwi thhi
m.Hecal l
edme
backaft
erabout2minutes.It
henf i
gur
edthati
t
hasevery
thi
ngtodowi t
hhowIanswer edthe
phone.
"
Baby"Ianswer
ed.Iwasangr
ybutIst
il
lwant
ed
t
ohearhisvoi
ce.
"Ungenwey
ini
?"(
What
'sgot
teni
ntoy
ou?
)He
asked.
"
Itr
iedcal
l
ingy
ou"
"
Iknow"hesai
dcal
mly
.
"
Youkn.
..y
ouknowwhat
?Goodni
ght
"
"Baby.Si
yashadaminanawein2weeks.By
nowy ouhavetoknowthati
fI'
m nottal
ki
ngto
youthenngikhul
umanoMaDl amini
.Thi
sisnot
somet hi
ngweshouldbefi
ghti
ngover.Notat
thi
sstageofourr
elati
onshi
p"(Weareget
ti
ng
marri
edin2weeks...t
henI'
mt al
ki
ngto
MaDlamini
)hesai
dandIdr oppedmyhigh
chest
.
"
Iknow"
"Ngi
theningokuzihl
any
isa?(Whatdi
dIsay
aboutyourcrazyout
burst
s?)Hescol
ded.
"
Uthengi
yeke"(
Yousai
dIshoul
ddr
opt
hem)I
f
eltl
i
kecryi
ng.
"Wenzani
wenamanj
e?"
(Whati
sitt
haty
ou'
re
doi
ngnow? )
"Ngi
yazi
hlany
isa"(
I'
m act
ingcr
azy
)Isai
dandI
sni
ff
ed.
"
Manjeukhal
elan?
"(Whyar
eyoucr
yingnow?
)
Heshar
plyasked.
"
Uyangi
thet
hisa"
(You'
reshout
ingatme)
"Ngi
k'
thet
hisangobaawungi
zwawena
mengi
khul
umanawe.Angiyit
handi
lent
oyakho
yokulokuuv usananempi nanomaungenaso
i
sizathu.I
thast ostop.Angithandi ukul
wanawe
becauseitr uinsmywhol eday ."
(I'
m shouting
becauseyounev erl
ist
enwhenIspeakt oy ou.I
don'tli
kethishabi tofyoursofst arti
ngafight
withoutav alidreason.
..Idon'tl
ikef i
ghti
ngwi th
you..
)Isniffedandt oldhim Ihear dhim.
Icoul
dhearhi
m exhal
e.
"
Ngiyaxol
isababy.Ungakhal
imommy "
(I
'm sor
ry.
Don'
tcry)
helowlyandsincer
elysai
d.
"
Goloki
le.We'
ll
speaktomorr
owbecauseI
'
m
r
eal
l
yt i
redandIcan'
tkeepmyey
esopen"
"
Ishokuqalaukut
hiuyangi
xol
ela"
(Tel
lmet
hat
y
ouf or
givemef i
rst
)
"
Ngiy
akuxolelaMbul
azi.Ngi
celaukul
ala
manj
e?"
(Iforgiv
eyou.CanIpleasesl
eepnow?
)
"
Ulal
ekahle.Ngi
yakt
handa.Uhl
aleukwazi
l
okho"(
Sleepwel
l.Il
oveyou.Al
waysknowt hat
)
Iexhal
edandt
oldhi
m Il
ovehi
mtoo.

*
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***
***
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***
***
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***

Iwokeupthenextdayaroundni
nefeel
ingal
l
sort
softi
red.Iy
awnedandmyphoner angasI
wasabouttostr
etchoutmyhands.Ipull
edi
t
fr
om undermypill
owandanswered.
"
Mor
ning"Isai
d.
"Morni
ngyour
sel
f.Ausi
wee,
dowehav
e
bri
desmai
ds?"
"
Yeswe.
.do.
"Ianswer
edi
nconf
usi
on.
"Thenwher
ethehellarethemeasur
ements?
"
Tlhogi
scol
ded.Thi
st ot
all
ysl
ippedmymind.
"I
'
vebeenmeani ngtosendthem t
oyoubutI
keptf
orgett
ing.Ihav
ealotonmymi nd"I
answered.
"Wat sebaotloaparal otonmymi ndeoy agago?
Sof arweonl yhav etwodr essesf oryoubutI'm
notwor r
iedabouttheot heronebecause
Samor asayshewi llmanage.Theot her
seamst r
essdoesnothav eSamor a'
spatience,
whichi salsothesizeofasugarbean.Weneed
dressesf or3peopl e.Ifyoudidbasi c
mat hemat i
csyouwoul dknowt hatthat
'snine
dressest hatneedt obedonei n2weeks!
Pleasest opstressingmebev auseIhav eav er
y
weakhear t
!"
Hesai danddroppedthephone.Itookavery
deepbr eat
hout.Ii
mmedi at
elysenthi
mt he
measur ement
sandswi t
chedmyphoneof f
beforehecall
edwithanotherrant
.Lucki
ly,
I
don'tevenhavetoli
ftafi
ngerforthesakeof
anythi
ng.

Igotoutofbedandwentl
ooki
ngf
ormymom.
Therewasnospecif
icr
easonf
ort
his.I
t'
sjust
somet hi
ngIdowhenI 'm home.Thefirstt
hingI
doiswantt oseeher.Icall
edforherbutshe
didn'
trespond.Icheckedi nherbedr
oom and
shewasn' tther
ebutherbedwasmade.I
walkedtot heli
vingroom andfoundTumi t
here
i
nhi spyjamashav ingthetimeofhisli
fewith
theremot einhishand.Hewascr ackinghis
l
ungswi thlaughter,watchi
ngTom andJer ry.
Hedi dn'
tev ennoti
cemewal ki
ngin.
"
Andt
henwena?
"Iasked.
"Goodmor ni
ngtoyoutoo.
"Hesaidand
expl
odedinlaught
er,
concent
rat
ingonthe
tel
evi
sion.
"Whendi dyougether
eandorobet
sekae
seei
ngt hatyou'
rei
nyourpy
jamas?
"(Wher
edi
d
yousleep?)
"Ther
e'saqueensi
zedbedint
hishouse.Ther
e
wasnowayIwoul dsl
eepkogodimogaskepe
selasagagowhenIwasthatt
ir
ed"(
..
.ontopof
t
hatboatofy
our
s..
.)
Il
aughedoutl
oud.Hesl
epti
nmymom'
sroom.
"
Olapaneodi
rang?
"(Whatmadey
out
ir
ed?
)
"
Iwentt
otownt
olookf
orasui
takerchomi
.
"
"
Forgr
ad?
"
"
Yesandy
ourweddi
ng.
"
"
You'
regoi
ngt
oweari
ttwi
ce?
"
"
Yes.Icannotaff
ordt
wo.You'r
etheone
marr
iedtoPatri
ceMotsepeher
e.Nieek"
(Not
me)
Il
aughedandt ol
dhimthathecanusethe
moneyinthe"cravi
ngsaccount
"togethi
msel
f
moreclot
hes.Thereisnowayhe'sweari
ngt
he
samesuittwi
ce.
Helookedatmewi t
hemot i
onalpuppyeyesand
It
oldhimtostop.WelaugheditoutandIasked
hi
m wheremymom i s.
Hi
ssmilesl
owl
yfadedashetoldmethatshe
wentt
odosomegr ocer
yshoppi
ng.
"
Andt
hatmakesy
ousad?
"Iasked.
"Nosill
y.Shewasn'tokaywhenIgother
elast
night
.Weendedupspeaki ngabout
Ous'Kgantsho.She'
sacti
ngstr
ongbutshe'
s
coll
apsingont hei
nsidef
ri
end.
"
Myhear tbroke.Kgant sho'sdeathst i
llhurtsbut
I'
vefoundawayt odeal wit
hit.IcrywhenIneed
toandmov eonwi thmyl i
feafterthat.That '
s
whatsheal way sencour aged.Sheal way ssaidif
ther
e'snothingy oucandoaboutapar ti
cular
sit
uati
ont hent here'
snopoi ntinstressing
aboutit
.Int hepr ocessofmast eri
ngt hiscopi ng
mechanism, Ineglectedmymot her'
spai n.I
underminedhowbadl yt hi
scoul d'
vehi ther.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t56.

Imadebr eakfastf
orbothTumi andIandtookit
totheli
vingroom withatray.Wewerebothsti
ll
i
nourpy jamas.Therewasnot hi
ngmuchtot he
breakf
ast.Justscrambledeggsandbreadwith
orangejuiceasanescor t
.Igavehi
m hi
splate
andhesatupr ight
.
"
Ishould'
veboil
edt
heseeggsyazi
"Isai
d.Iwas
r
eall
yregret
ti
ngwhyImadethem t
hatway.
"
Yhuuhaah.Soyoucansuf
focat
emewi
thy
our
f
art
?"Heexcl
aimed.
"Fr
iendmyf
artdoesn'
tsmel
l
"Idef
endedmy
sel
f.
"Icancal
lall
ourprev
iousG11classmatesso
theycantest
ify
.Hesaidashethreat
enedto
standuptogof et
chhisphonef
rom the
charger
."
Ilaughedandl
owl
ysai
d"Myf
artdoesn'
tst
ink
though"
"Onanor maldayy esbutonceyouhaveboiled
eggs,youcouldli
teral
lybeusedasami ssi
lein
awor ldwarshem.Rememberwheny ouhad
them kabreak.
..
"hesai dandbegancr
ackingup
i
nl aught
er
"Fr
iendtsekmanI'
m eat
ingher
e"Isai
dand
suppressedal
augh
"
Nol
i
sten.
"Hewasst
il
ll
aughi
ng.
"Rememberwheny ouhadt hem kabr
eakand
youletitl
oosekoclassi
ng.MrsVanderWal t
keptaskingwher
ethesmel lwascoming..
."he
wasdy i
ngf r
om l
aughter
.Heev enhadtear
si n
hiseyes.
"
Tsamayamogae"Il
aughedandt
hreat
enedhi
m
t
oleav
e.
"
She.
.sheaskedwher
ethesmellwascomi
ng
f
rom andwhenshemadeeyecontact
wi
th.
..
yohhh"
"
Fri
endf
useg!
"
"Hihi
hiwhenshemadeey econt actwi
t hyou,
youimmedi at
elyaskedtobeexcusedf orthe
l
oo"Hekeptwi pi
nghistearsbuttheykept
pouri
ngout .I
fTumi l
aughsaty ouandcr iesat
thesamet i
me, he'
snevergoingt ofi
nishwi t
h
hisstupi
dit
yatat i
mey ou'dbehappywi t
h.
"
Kant
ekeng?
"Il
aughedandl
ookedathi
m.
"Yohmaralewenaf ri
end.AndIwar nedy
ouand
askedyounicel
ytostopeatingmaeamme
Mokwenakabr eak.Butdidyouli
sten?Noooo.
Youjusthadtogor el
easeyoursul
phurdioxi
de
andasphyxi
atetheentir
eclass!
"
Ilaughedandkeptchewi
ng.Pay
ingnoat
tent
ion
tohissil
lysel
f.

Mom camebackf
rom t
heshopswhi
l
eIwas
watchi
ngTV.Tumi wastakingabath.Icoul
d
hearherdroppi
ngtheheavyplast
icbagsontop
oftheki
tchentabl
e.
"Whuuuu".Shecriedoutfrom exhaust
ionas
shepulledthefr
idgeopen.Moment sl
ater
,she
walkedinandcalml ysai
d" Tl
osamaot ogodi
mo
gatafol
aFilwe"(takeyourfeetofft
hetabl
e)
thendroppedherselfonthecouch.Iobeyedthe
i
nstruct
ion.
"
Youdi dyourhair
?"Iasked.Mymom hast he
r
ichestbr
unet t
ehairfordecadest
hatreaches
t
hemi dpointofherbackwhenr el
axed.
"Busengwadil
eMol etjiwenaobut si
sagoreey a
Benonina"(
Thebusi sindicatedadesti
nation
towardsMoletj
ibuty ou'
reaskingi
fit'
sheaded
toBenoni)
shesaidanddr ankherwater.I
expl
odedinlaughter.Shel ookedr
eall
ytir
ed.
"Fr
ymeIam sausage"Isai
dandchangedt
he
channel
.
"Opresseremoteeoyakasentl
eakeraoduel
e
madi adish"
(Handl
emyremot econt
rol
l
erwit
h
car
esi nceyoudon'
tpayfort
hedish/
DSTV)
Il
aughed,st
oodupfrom t
hecouchtost
andin
fr
ontofherandsai
d"Tsaaremotey
ago"(Take
i
t)
Shel
aughedandshegl
uedherl
i
psandey
es
i
ntohergl
assofwat
er.
"Omakgakgawai
tsi
"shesai
d(You'
resosi
l
ly)
Shesai
dandwel
aughed.
"Youl
ookpret
tyVee"sher
eal
l
ydi
dlook
beaut
if
ul.
"Redit
haka?"
(Arewethesameage?)Sheasked
asshesearchedsur
fedthr
oughthechannel
s
withasli
ghtsmil
eonherface.
"AoVivi
.Vi
noli
a.Voraci
ous.VuzuVuzu.
Vuvuzel
a"shelaughedoutl
oudandt hr
eatened
tohi
tme.Iranaway ,l
aughi
ngmyl ungsout.
Shey el
l
edandsai
d"Otlhobol
epi
j
amat
seo!
"
(Takeofft
hosepy
jamas)

Igott
omyr oom andfoundTumionthemirr
or
combinghi
sfadeont hemir
ror
.Heturnedt
o
l
ookatmeandsai d"Yourmanhasbeencall
ing
you"
"Howdoy ouknowt hatbecausemyphonewas
off?Youshouldlearntoleavemyphonealone.
Ev erhear
dofprivacy?"Isai
dasIpi
ckeditup
from thebedandsatt here.
"I
sthatawil
dani
mal?Idon'
twat
chNat
ional
Geogr
aphi
cphel
anna"
Il
aughedloudl
yasItri
edtoconcentr
ateon
Muzi'
stextmessage.He'
sanidi
ot.The
messageread

"
Thembal
ami
.Angazi
ukut
hiubusyorv
ele
ungidi
nelwenakodwangi yaxol
isaf
or
ukuk't
shelai qini
so.Idon'tli
kewheny ou'
re
unhappybecausei tsaddensme, more
especial
lyify ou'
reunhappybecauseoft he
trut
h.Ngi y
akt handanamat antr
umswakho.Call
mewheny oucool down"(Idon'
tknowifyou'
re
busyori fyou'reangr yatmebutI '
m sorr
yfor
tell
i
ngy out het r
uth)

Il
aughed.Whatki
ndofanapol
ogyi
sthi
s?

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*

Myplannercal
ledmewhi l
eTumi andIwere
l
yi
ngonourst omachsundert hetr
ee,i
ndul
ging
onmangoshecamewi thlastni
ght.Mymom
wasnappinginthehouse.Iwipedmyhands
wit
haclothandansweredt hecal
lon
l
oudspeaker
.
"Gi
rl
ings.Quickquesti
on.Doy ouknowany body
whor ent
soutstretchtentsi
ny ourareat
osav e
ti
meorshoul dIcontactmypeopl e?"He
soundedlikehewasr eall
ybusy.Hewasev en
acceler
ati
nghisspeech.
"
Uhm.
.letmeaskar
oundandI
'
llcal
lyouback"
"That'
sano.Toodles"hesai
danddr
oppedt
he
call
.Thisper
sonisgoingtobet
hedeat
hofme.
Tumi l
aughed.
"Tl
hogii
sgoingt
ogiveyougreyhai
rshem y
ou'
d
swearhe'
stheonegett
ingmarri
ed"
"Tel
lmeabouti t
!"Isai
dandhecont inued
suckingandtaki
ngbi t
esofhishumongous
mango.Idon'tevenknowwhyhedi dn'tsl
i
ce
i
ntopi ecesl
i
keIdid.Ilookedathim onceand
broughtmyey esbackt omyplate.
"
Bes"Il
owl
ycal
l
edout
"
Hm?
"Heanswer
ed.
"
Hav
eyouspokent
oyourmom?
"
Iasked.He' salway sav oi
dingher.Whi chispar t
ofther easonwhyhei sathi shappiesther e.
Whenev erheget spartt i
mej obstotakecar eof
thefami ly,sheal waysdemandsmor ethings
andor der spr oductsfrom mymom expect ing
himt opayf orthem.Ev ersincehi
sf atherdied,
all
financi alresponsibil
iti
eswer eplacedonhi s
shoulder s.Hesay shedoesn' tmindt akingcar e
ofhisfami l
ybutt heytakei ttoofaratt i
mes.
Hisbrot heronl ysendsmoneyonhi sownt er ms.
"NoIhaven'tandpl
ease,
canwenotgot her
e?"
Hesaid.Iknowwhent opressur
ehim andwhen
nott
o.Andnowwasnott hetime.
"
Okay
"Isai
d.Si
l
ence.
"
Any
way
,whatdoy
out
hinkofhi
m?"
"
Ofwho?
"
"Tl
hogi man"helaughedoutl oudandsai
d"I
seewher ethi
sisgoing.Brikanetdaar
.Il
ike
him butIthi
nkit
'shightimeIt ookabr
eakfrom
rel
ationshi
ps"(
Stopi tr
ightthere)
Il
aughedandl
eti
tgo.

*
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***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***
***

Timeusuallystall
swheny ou'
rebusywith
absol
utelynothingbuttodayitwasr unni
nga
marat
hon.Iwasi nblackleggi
ngsandMuzi '
s
bl
ackt-shir
twithslipper
s.Iwal kedTumi out
andcamebackt omymom cooki ngsupper.
"Nchopeleoni
ont uubabynyana"(Pl
easechop
theonionforme)shesaidaspushedt he
choppingboardinmydi r
ectionand
i
mmedi at
elyt
urnedawayt oattendtoher
steamingpapont hestove.Ipull
edachairand
satdown.Iaskedherifshehasalreadydi
pped
i
tinhotwat ertoavoi
deyeir
ri
tati
onandshe
sai
dy es.Ibeganchoppi
nghalfofthebulband
rai
sedmyheadt ol
ookather.
"
Mama?
"Isai
d
"
Akenachelete"
(Idon'
thav
emoney
)sher
epl
i
ed
wi
thoutt
urningtolookatme.
Il
aughedoutl
oudandsaid"Canwetal
k?"Her
l
aughtergr
ewweaker.Sheknewexact
lywhatI
wantedustot
alkabout.
"
NotnowFi
l
we"
"
Whent
hen?
"
"Fil
wej ust.
.!"Sheaggressivel
ygrindedt hepap
withherwoodedspoonandshapedt hetop
nicelybyspi r
all
yrunni
ngt hespoonov erthepap
beforeput ti
ngtheli
dbackon.Shewi pedher
handsonherapr onandexhal ed.Shet hen
turnedt owardsmeandsai d"Okay.Obat lago
buaaker ?Arebue"(
Youwantt otalk?Let'stal
k)
Shet
henpul
l
edoutachai
randsatacr
ossme.
Ij
ustlookedatherandconti
nuedchopping.
Theonlythi
ngbothourearscouldhearwasthe
buzzi
ngsoundoft her
efr
iger
atorbehindme.
"
Hav
eyouev
ert
houghtaboutgoi
ngt
her
apy
?"
"
Kedilotsamakgowatseo"(Thatstuf
fisfor
whit
epeople)
.Sheandsatbackonherchai r
,
t
hrowinghereyest
otheoutside.Thedoorwas
wi
deopen.
"Noi
t'
snot
.Iti
sgoi
ngt
ohel
pyou"
"Theonlythi
ngt hat
'sgoingtohelpmei sif
Molemocomest ol
ivewi t
hme"shesai d.Ithi
nk
thereasonwhyshewant sLemoher eis
becausehel ooksexactlyli
kehi
smot her.
Peoplemistakehimf oragi r
lwhenev
erhe' s
dressedinunisexoutfi
ts.
"Ti
iset
sowill
neveragreetothatandyouknow
i
t"Isaidandsheranthetopofherfingers
acrosshereyesi
nstress,br
eathi
ngout .
Shekepthersi
lenceforawhi
le.Shet
henf
inal
l
y
sai
d"Ikeepseeingherinmydreams"
"
Youdo?
"
"
Yes.Kemmonegabedi
"(Isawhert
wice)
"
Whatdoy
ousee?
"
"I
twast hesamedr eam butinthefi
rstone,she
wasr unni
ngt owardsmewi thababyboy
holdinghands.Inthesamewhi tedr
esswe
buriedherin.Neat habi
le.Releatanopenv er
y
ri
chandgr eenfield.Butwhenshehadt oarri
ve
tohugme, shedisappears,l
eavingtheli
tt
leboy
behind"(
Shewashappy )
If
rowned."
Whatdoest
hatmean?
"
"AketsebeFilwe.I
ntheseconddr eam, i
t
happenst hesamewaybutwhenshe
disappeared,shel
eftababygirlbehind.I
t
l
ookedl ikethesamechildbutmat homongit
wasdr essedlikeaboy.Labobedi,shewasina
dress"
"Hm!
"Iexclai
med.Ihadnowordstoexpl
ain
howconfusedthi
smademef eel
.

UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t57.

"Wear eher ebaby "Hesay sashegent lyshook

mewhi l
eget t
inghi mselfoutoft hi
ssaf etybel t.
Hei nsi
stedwedot hi
scer emonyassoonas
possiblesohecamet of etchmef rom home
andbr oughtmeher e.Thef amousbridal nerv es
arestarti
ngt okickingin.IcalledTlhogi l
ast
nighttoaskhi mi feverythingisinorderandal l
hehadt osaywas" Fi
nally.Shedecidest ojoin
thepar t
y".Idi
dnotbot hercheckingt het i
me
becausei twassomewher ear ound15h00.Muzi
wasn'ttalki
ngmuch.If iguredhewast iredf rom
allt
hedr i
v i
nghehasbeendoi ngsi
ncemor ning.
West eppedoutoft hecarandwal kedi ntot he
house.Guguandmawerecr
acki
ngl
aught
er
fr
om theTVroom whenwewal
kedi
t.
"Sani
bonani"webothsaidatthesamet i
me.
Theygreetedbackwithsmilesontheirfaces.
Guguhadasl eepingMelokuhl
einherar m.I
wenttositnexttomawhenMuzi walkedov er
toherandkissedheronhercheek,takinghis
babyfrom herar
ms.
"
Hayibabakheuzomvuzayou'
llseehi
m pr
operl
y
mes'
evuki
lengokwakhe"
(You'
l
lwakehim up.
..
whenhe'
suponhi sownaccord)
"Ungaqali
.You'
real
wayshogginghim ngi
cel
a
elamiit
huba"(Don'
tst
art
..
.canIpleasehavemy
chance)
Gugulaughedbecausehewasn'theari
ngit
.
Okuhl
ewassogr ownandmuchmor ecut
er
now.Andashismot herpr
edi
cted,hewokeup.
"Sawubonaboy
.Yeswena.YeswenaMbul
azi
.
YeswenaPhakamani
.YeswenaMuzi"
"Yohhay iungaboi bizangal elogamai ngane
asfuninjethi
naukuzophat hway i
khandal a
ekhaya"(Donotcal l
him byt hatnamewedon' t
wanttoexper ienceendl essheadachesi nthi
s
house)-Hismot hersai
dasshepagedt hr
ough
hermagazi ne.Muzi l
aughedandcont i
nued
playi
ngwi thhisson, blatantlyignoringher.
Okuhlebeganl aughingwhenhi sfathermade
funnyfaces.Gugut hensai d" Benginesqiniseko
sokuthiuzokhal a.Aveegr umpymesand'
kvuka"(
Iwassosur ethathewasgoi ngtocry.
He'salway swhenwhenev erhehasj ustwoken
up)
"
Ugrumpyumaenawe.Phel
ather
e'sl
evel
sto
t
hispar
ent
ingt
hing"
Weallexpl
odedi
nlaught
er.He'
snev
ergoi
ngt
o
out
growbeingani
diot
.
Hethencar
eful
l
ypl
acedhi
ssononhi
sshoul
der
andaskedwher
eThandoi
s.
"
Usaphumil
ekwamanj
e"(
Shewentout
)hi
s
mot
herrepl
i
ed.
"
Uyephi
?"(
Wher
edi
dshego?
)Heshar
plyasked.
"Awuyiyeki
ngani
ingane?
"(Leav
ethechi
l
d
alone)
Gugubeggedandlaughed.
"Yazwenanoma, umaengami t
hakuphel a
uChochoni zongaz ikahlengobamengi t
hi
ngiy
al ungisani nani velenimoshenj e.Nim'
yeka
kanjaniukut hi ahambewor seanaziukuthi
ushonephi ? "(Youandmaar egonnaknowme
wellitsheev erf al
lspr egnantbecause
whenev erIt ryt ohandl ethissi
tuati
ony ourui
n
everything.Howdoy oual l
owhert oleaveand
what '
swor sei sthaty oudon'tevenknowwher e
shewent ?)Hesai dashi seyesdancedbet ween
Guguandhi smot her.
Hismot herlaughedandsaid"Ukhul
i
lemanj
e
uthando.Asisekhoisidi
ngosokut
hiugi
j
imi
se
bonkeabaf anabamt handay
o.Andu
responsiblefuthi
.Ngekenjeuzeul
ungengoba
MUHLEuSi swakhouy ayif
anel
anjenomawakhe
andakahl alinaweful
lti
me.WenanoNat hi
nidl
iway i
zonozenu.Ay i
khoenye"Maexclai
med
whilelaughing
"
Ezi
phizonal
ezo?
"Heaskedwi
thasmi
l
eonhi
s
f
ace.
"You'
reafrai
dt hatshe'sgoingtoexper i
enceall
theungodlythingsthet woofy ouhadbeen
gett
ingupt owi t
hallthegirl
soft hisvil
l
age.Ave
ngij
abuleukuthisenikhuli
lemanjeakasekhonj e
umzaliuzoziphonsal aefunananengan
yakhe"(
I'
m sohappyy ou'r
eallgrownnow.
There'
snopar entthat'sgoingtot hrowthemsel
f
i
nher elooki
ngf orherchild)
Muzihadnochoi
cebuttol
aughaswellbutI
coul
dseethathi
shear
twasnotatease.

Muzi
askedmet
ogoputonadoekandl
ong
dressbecausewewereabouttoleav
e.Idi
das
i
nstruct
edthenwewal kedoutoft
hehouse.We
bumpedi nt
ohisf
atheratthedoor
.
"Awu.Ndodana.Usuf i
kil
e?Sawubonamakot i"
Hecalmlysaidasst abbedthegroundwi t
hhis
walki
ngrod.Hewal ksperfect
ly.Idon'
tthi
nkhe
needsitsoIendedupconcl udi
ngt hati
t'
sjust
ther
eforambi ence.Ihumblygreetedhi
m back.
Muzisaid"YeboMnt ungwa.Sesiyahamba
manje"
"
Niy
ibheki
sekuBab'
Ngema?
"Hi
sfat
herasked.
"
Ehena"
"
Hayi
.Ni
hambekahl
e"hesai
daswewal
ked
i
ntot
hehouse
Wethankedhi
m,wal
kedt
othecarandgot
set
tl
ed.
"Seat
beal
t"hesaidwi
thoutl
ooki
ngatmeand
buckl
inguphis.
"Nt
hwey ankgamannababy"(
Thi
sthingis
suff
ocat
ingme)Icompl
ainedasIr
eluct
antl
y
buckl
edup.
"Bett
erukgamei y
onathanukuthiuzokgama
ukufa"(
It'
sbett
erthandeath)hesaidand
start
edthecar.Ifyouhadlookedathim afterhe
saidthatyouwould'v
eswor nthatIl
iedabout
him eversayi
ngawor d.Il
aughedandl ookedto
theoutside.
"
Ur i
ght?
"Hesai
dashepl
acedhi
shandonmy
t
high.
"
I'
m okay
"Isai
dandsmi
l
edathi
m.
"I
yangiphazamisalent
oy akho"(Thisdressof
yoursi
sdisturbi
ngme)hesai dashet ri
ed
pull
i
ngmydr essupmyt highs.Ilaughed
becausehe'stheonewhosai dIshouldputiton.

WegottoBab'Ngema'shutandfoundhi
swi f
e.
Sheannouncedthathewasnotaroundbuthe
shouldbebackanymomentf rom thenfrom
fet
ching"amakhambi ".Muzithankedherasshe
handedusa' bunkstool'tosi
ton.Wesatand
sett
ledunderthetr
ee.Shet hensai dshewoul d
off
erusj ui
cebutwebot hknowwhyshecan' t.
Muzi confi
rmedandt oldherthatitisokay.Idi
d
notknowandIwascur i
ous.Shewal kedaway .
"
Whybaby
?"IaskedasIcr
ossedmyl
egs.
Helaughedashet
ookouthi
sphonef
rom hi
s
pocket
.
"Ngazi
leukut
hienyei
-j
ournali
stangekenje
i
zithul
e"(
Iknewthatacertai
njournal
istwas
nevergoi
ngtokeepquiet
)
Il
aughedaswel
landcont
inuedwai
ti
ngf
ormy
answer.
"Well
,ngiphumaebukhosi
nibaby
.Asidli
noma
i
kuphi"(I
'mr oy
alt
ybaby.Wedon'
tjusteat
anywhere)
"
Oh.Okay
"Isai
dandshr
ugged.
"Butift
hat
'sthecasetheny
oushoul
dn'
thav
e
gottenser
vedbythatgir
lmus"
"
Whi
chone?
"
"
Mbuso'
sgi
rl
fr
iend"
"Yeahwell
.Bekuhlangahl
angenet hatday.Thi
s
thi
ngofnoteati
ngj ustanywherewasact uall
y
takenver
yseri
ouslyfrom thatdayonwar ds.
Minaanginanki
ngaukuk' t
shelaiqini
so"hesaid
andwentont oplayAnimal Rescueonhi s
phone.
"
Youmeany
oudon'
ttakei
tthatser
iousl
y?"
"
Naaah"henonchal
ant
lysai
d.
"
Yazuzof
a?"Ir
epr
imanded.Hel
aughed.
"I
dlozilami
ali
y '
qcokinj
eiber
mudababy .
Ali
y'bhemifut
hi nensangu"(
Myancestordoes
notwearshorts.Itdoesn'
tsmokeweed)hesaid
Il
aughedoutl oud.
Bab'
Ngemagotbackandcal
ledusint
ohishut
wit
hhishand.I
'
venev
erseenhimlaughnor
smil
e.
Wet ookoffourshoesandgoti n.Therewere
bottl
esofherbseverywhere.Wegotset tl
edon
thefl
oorasheputhi sthi
ngsaway .Het hen
camet ositonthefl
oorfacingus.Hecl osedhi
s
oneandr ubbedoverit
.Het henlookedatMuzi
and"Wazewal enzaudabaMzi l
ikazi
".Muzi
grabbedhislowerl
ipwithhisupperteethand
said"Ei
sh".
"Hayikodwai phuthangel ami.Ningi
xolel
e
bantwanabami "het henstoodupandst arted
mixinghisherbs.Hepl acedthem ina
newspaperandgav eittome.Hesai dIshould
headtot hehouseandhi swif
ewi l
lknowwhat
todo.IleftandMuz istayedbehind.WhenIgot
ther
e,Ifoundherchoppi ngcabbagewi throbot
pepperont hesi de.Shei mmediatel
yputthe
knif
edownandcov eredhervegetabl
eswi t
ha
cleanwhit
ecloth.Sheaskedmet
ofol
l
owher
,
takingt
he'package'f
rom me.

Af t
erbeingbat hedbyher ,Ifeltli
keabur den
hadbeenl ift
edof fmyshoul ders.Iwasnotsur e
whatwaswei ghingmedownbutIf el
tlikea
differ
entperson.Igotdr essedandwal kedback
tothekitchenwi t
hher .Iaskedheri fIshouldn't
gobackandshesai dIshoul dwai ttobecal led.
Theywi l
l f
etchmei ftheyneedme.Shepul l
ed
outachai rfrom herkitchent ableandIsati n
frontofherbl ackcoal stov e.Shecont inued
choppingandaskedmewher eIcomef rom.We
conv er
sedandl aughedov erlighttopics.Muzi
knockedandsai dweshoul dweshoul dget
going.Het henbi dhergoodby ethenwegoti nto
thecarandl ef t
.
Whi
l
eont
her
oad,
Iaskedhi
mifhei
sokay
.
"
Yeahngi
ri
ghtbaby
"hesai
dbutIwasn'
t
conv
inced.
"
Whatdi
dbab'
Ngemasay
?"
"HesaysIshoul
dgobuyabl ackandwhit
egoat
andbri
ngitbackbefor
emidnight
."Hekepthi
s
eyesgl
uedtotheroadahead.
"
Whati
sitf
or?
"
"Ihavenoidea.Hej
ustsaidhe'
sgoi
ngto
slaught
eri
tatthecr
ackofdawnandt hati
tis
notsupposedtobeeaten"hesai
d.
"
Andt
henourbabyi
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine?Ri
ght
?"
"
Hopef
ull
y"hesay
s,st
il
lkeepi
nghi
sey
esgl
ued
t
other
oad.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

-
Thenextday
-
Afterbr
eakfastthatwassharedoverl
aughter
andMel okuhl
e'soccasi
onalgrumpycri
es,ma
askedGuguwher eherhusbandis.
"Hayiangazi
maIt hi
nkusalel
e.Il
astsawhim
around8lastnight"shesai
dasshehushedand
rockedOkuhle,begginghi
mt osuckthebott
le
shewasgent lypushingi
ntohisti
ghtenedl
i
ps.
"Hambauy om'checkasthandwasami ?"She
said,
dir
ectingt
hisinst
ructiontome.Thechi ef
wasburiedinhi
snewspaperasal ways.Igotup
andwentupt hestair
s.Ididn'tknockbecauseI
wassurehewasal one,Ilefthisotherwife
downstair
s.
"Baby!
?"Icall
edout
.Hissheetsi
mmedi at
ely
announcedthathesl
eptinthem buthewasn'
t
i
nt hebedroom.
"Hm?"Hecal
l
edout.Hewasi ntheensui
te,
wit
h
hismout
hful
lofwhatIguessedtobe
t
oot
hpast
e.
Ididn'
treply .Ijustsatont hebedandt hrewmy
eyestohi sphone.I twasn' tlocked.Hehadl eft
i
tont heAni mal rescueapp.Ismi l
edandpul l
ed
i
tintomyhandandcheckedhowf arhegot .
What ?I'
mt heonewhot aughthi mt hi
sgame
andhe'sal ready21l evelsaheadofme?I 'm sti
ll
stuckbecauseI '
veranoutofst r
ategiesonhow
tomaneuv ermywayar oundi t.I
'm notev en
surpri
sed.Thi siswhaty ougetwheny out each
ageniushowt oplayagamet hatr evol
v es
aroundst r
at egy .Hespi toutandaskedmei fI
missedhi m, yell
ingfrom thebat hr
oom.I
l
aughedandsai dyesasImi ndlesslyshuf fl
ed
theblocksar ound.Hecont i
nuedmaki ngj okes
andIashi sl oy alaudience, l
aughedmyl ungs
outasal way s.

"Justgotbackf
rom L.
A.Weshoul
ddodi
nner
somet i
me.Forol
dti
mesakeandmaybe,
somebodycoul
dscorehimsel
fsomedessert
aft
erwar
ds.Cal
lme."TheSMSr ead.If
eltt
he
vei
nsaroundmyheadthrobbi
ngandlava
oozi
ngoutofandmelti
ngthechambersofmy
heart
.WhoTFisthi
s?

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t58.

"
Baby
?Ungi
l
alel
eyi
n?"
(Ar
eyoul
i
steni
ngt
ome?
)
Hey elledfrom t
heensuit
e.Ikeptqui
etand
rer
eadt hemessagefrom t
heunsavednumber
.
Het hencameoutwi pinghismouthwitha
towel dressedinonl
yhisj
eansandunderwear
,
barefoot .
"
Youokay
?"Heaskedwi
thconcer
n,wal
ki
ng
t
owar
dsme.
"
Whoi
sthi
s?"It
urnedt
hescr
eent
owar
dshi
m.
"As'
qalel
a.Wenzanngefounyamibaby
?"He
calml
yaskedashet ookhi
sphonefr
om meand
readthemessage.
"
Arey
ouhi
dingany
thi
ng?
"
"Ofcour
senotbutIdon'tappreci
atei
twhen
peoplej
ustgothr
oughmyst uff
.Hadyouasked
Iwould'
vegiv
enitt
oy ou.Simple"
"
IaskedyouwhothatisMuzi kayise"Ist
oodup
f
rom thebed.I
'
m noteventhinki
ngst rai
ght
.He
l
ookedatmeandsai d"Langeli
hle.Anex"
"I
fshewasreal
l
yanexshewoul
dn'
tbe
comfor
tabl
ewit
hsendi
ngamarr
iedmansuch
messages"
"Thelastt
imeIchecked,Idi
dnotlivei
nher
head.AndIdon'tunderst
andwhyy ou'
reso
upsetanyway"Iscoff
edindisbel
i
ef.
"Youdon'
tunder
st.
..wow!
"Isai
dandt r
iedto
l
eave.Hepull
edmebymyar m sohardthatour
chest
smet.Wehadast ar
econtestunt
ilhe
sai
d"Uy
aphi
?"(
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
)Heasked.
"
Giv
ingyouthespaceyouneedtoat
tendto
y
ourmistr
ess"Isai
d,shoot
ingmyeyesathi
m.
"
Mywhat
?Di
dIev
ersayIneedspace?
"Hesai
d.
Idroppedt
hem t
othef
loor
,al
ongwi
thmyhi
gh
chest.
"Hlal
aphansi"(
Sitdown).Heinstructed.I
wantedt opr
otestbutthelookinhisey es
defeatedmymi ssionbefor
eitevenbegan.I
threwmyey estothesideandsatont hebed.
Hest oodbeforemeandpr essedhi sphone.He
thenhandedittomeandsai d"Scrollup".Iwas
confusedbythisbuttookit.Hewant smet o
readhisInst
agram DMs?" Scrol
lup"hecal ml
y
repeated.
Idi
dashesai dandIcouldn'tbeli
evemyey es.
Themessageswer eendless.From di
ff
erent
women.It
houghtIwoul dreacht heendbutit
wasli
kemyt humbwast ravell
ingdowna
bot
toml
esspi
t.
"
Whyar
eyoushowi
ngmet
his?
"Iasked.
Het ookthephonef rom meandt hrewit
towar dsthecenterofthebed.Het henexhal
ed
andt ookbothmyar msintohi
s,want i
ngmet o
standup.Hehadi nfect
edmewi thhiscalm but
Iwasst il
lconfused.Heheldmebymywai st
andputhi sforeheadagainstmine.Hiseyes
l
ockedi ntomine.
"St
handwasami .Ngifunaukuk' tshengisaukut hi
ngihlalangi nalomi naithubal okucheat a.Net
angifuni becausengi khet heukut hembekakuwe
noMaDl ami ni
.Butonet hingIwi l
lnotst andis
outrightbei ngaccusedofcheat ingwher easI'm
not.Wi thoutpr oofev en.I'
m goi ngtot el
l you
thi
sonceandy ouhadbet t erhearitthef i
rst
ti
mebecausei tisdefinit
elyt helast,
ifyou're
goingt ot hrowat ant
rum eacht imeawoman
thr
owsher selfatmet hent hisisnotgonna
wor k"
"Areyoubreakingupwi thme? "Isai
d.Ifelt
my sel
fgetti
ngemot ional
.TheBet soIknowand
l
ov ewouldhav elongwalkedoutoft hi
sr oom.I
cryalottheseday soverthepetti
estofthings.
Butthiswasn'tpetty
.Notev enintheleast.
"Nobodysai
dany t
hingaboutabreakup.You
wouldhavetokil
lmef i
rstbef
orethatcoul
d
evenbeapossibil
i
ty"

*
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***
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***
***
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***
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***
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

Theargumentwi thMuzi di
dn'tendwel l
.He
endedupt el
li
ngmet ogosleepbecause
"i
khandalami l
iy
ashisa"(Myheadi shot).Il
eft
himthereandwentt omyr oom.Di dInotcrymy
eyebal
lsout?Idon'thaveanexactr easonwhy
I'
m cry
ingbecauseIhav enoideawhatt omake
ofthi
swhol esit
uati
on.I'
m starti
ngtogetused
toshari
nghim withMabuy ibutifthere'
s
anotherwomani nthepi ctureIam cer t
ainl
ynot
goi
ngt ostandforthat.Iev ent ual
l
yf el
lasleep
butIwaswokenupbyaknockonmydoor .I
wokeupandannouncedf orwhoev erwasatthe
doortocomei n.Mabuy i wal kedinwi t
hOkuhle
i
nherar ms.Shesmi ledandIsmi ledback.
"Walal
aemi ni
kushi
sakanj ekwenzenjan?"(
It
's
sohotforyoutobesleepi
ngintheafternoon
what
'sgoingon?)
Shejokingl
ysaidasshewalkedt
owar
dsmy
bed.Isatupri
ghtandyawned.
"
I'
mjustt
ir
edt
hat
'sal
l
"Ir
epl
i
ed.St
il
lyawni
ng.
"
Vukaphel
asi
khul
ume"(
Wakeupsowecan
t
alk)
"Ngi
vuki
lehawo"
(I
'm awake)Isai
dandweboth
l
aughed.Iwasweari
ngabasi cbl
ackt
-shi
rtwi
th
nobraon.
Shesmi
l
edandpl
ayedwi
thOkuhl
e,whi
l
e
i
nser
ti
ngapaci
fi
eri
ntohi
smout
h.
Icoul
dn'thelpbutsmi
l
eatthesi
ghtofthi
s.I
caughtherlooki
ngatmeandsmil
ingback.
"
Wannahol
dhi
m?"Sheasked.
Ihesit
atedbutIwant
edt
o.Thi
sisawkwar
d.I
thoughttomysel
f.
"LookBetso, asi
lwi minanawengobaasi kho
i
sidingo.There'snoneedt obewei r
d"shesai d.I
l
aughedandsai d" Okaythen"t
hentookhi mi nt
o
myar ms.Seei nghim upclosemademesee
howhonest lycut eandadorabl
ehei s.Het ook
hisdad'sfacialfeatur
esexceptforhisforehead
andear s.
"
Heyy ou"Il
owl
ysai
dandhei
mmedi
atel
y
l
aughed.
"
It
hiheymommy yy"shesaidtoOkuhl
e,
i
mitat
ingMuzi
'spronunci
ati
onofthewor
d
"
mommy "
.Il
aughed.
"Uri
ght?"Sheaskedasshef
ixedhert
-shi
rt
,
seeminglyf
eel
inghot.
"Yeah.I
'
mf i
ne"Isai
d.Av
oidi
ngey
econt
actwi
th
herbyplay
ingwitht
hebaby.
"
Yourey
essayot
her
wise"
"
Mabuy
iIsai
dIam f
ine!
"Isnapped.
Shejackedherheadbackwar
dsi
nshockand
sai
d" O-
kay"
Ikeptmysi
l
ence.
Shethensai
dit'
sOkuhl
e'
sbatht
imeand
att
emptedtotakehi
mfrom me.
"
Look.
..
I'
m sor
ryI
'
mjust
..
."
Shelookedatme,droppedherhandsandthr
ew
hereyestothedoor
.Shethenslowlysunk
downont hebed.
"Bet
so..
.Idon'
tknowifyouknowandreal
ize
thi
sbutthisi
shardformetoo.I'
mreachi
ngout
becauseforsomereason,
Ibeli
evet
hatit
'seven
harderfory oubecauset hisisallnewt oy ou.
I'
vehadmywhol elifetoaccli
mat izemysel ft
o
i
sithembu.Iwasr aisedtobear oyalwi f
e.And
that,usuall
ycomeshandi nhandwi t
hpol ygamy
aroundher e.Everyt
hi ngIdidwasmadet o
revolvearoundtheki ndofwi feI'
lltur
noutt obe
oneday .It
'snoteasybuti tsdoabl e.Ijustwant
ust ogetov ert
hisst ageofbeingawkwar d
towar dsoneanot herbecausei tisexhaust i
ng."
Shemadesense.Inoddedi
nagr
eement
.
"I
'l
lunderst
andifyoudon'
twanttotal
k,butj
ust
knowt hatI
'm her
eify
ouneedto.Icanalso
recommendav er
ygoodther
apist
"sheadded.
"
Ther
api
st?
"Iasked.
"
Yeah.Idon'tmeantopr
ybutwhathappenedt
o
yoursi
sterhasaf
fect
edmet oosinceI
'
ma
woman, amotherandadaughter
"
Igav
eheraweaksmi
l
eandsai
d"Thanks"
Shesmi
l
edback.
"CanIaskyouaquesti
on?"Iasked,
tipt
oeing
ontheboundar
iesoft
hist
ril
ogyofamar ri
age.
"
Yeahshoot
"
"Has..
.hasheev ercheatedony ou?"Iasked
andshedr oppedherey es.Thiswasnotwhat
shewasexpect i
ng.Sheexhal edbeforeshe
couldspeak.Okuhlewasst arti
ngtofallasl
eep
i
nmyar ms.
"
Yeah.Hehas"
"
Howmanyt
imes?
"
"
Why
?Howi
sthi
sgoi
ngt
ohel
pyou?
"
"
Ijust
..Ineedt
oknow"
"Okaythen.Plent
yoft i
mesbef orewegot
mar r
ied.Si
ncehighschool .Onl
yonceaft
erwe
gotmar ri
ed.Oratleastthat'
showmanyt i
mesI
foundout "
.If
eltaslimylumpst r
uggl
ingt
o
sli
therdownmyt hroat.
"
Andy
oust
ayed?
"
"Arewej udgingnow?"Sheshothereyesatme
andwai t
edf ormetor epl
y.Il
ookeddownand
clenchedontomysi l
ence.
"Anyway,wherei
sallofthi
scomingfrom?"She
askedasshef i
xedthepacifi
eri
nOkuhle'
s
mouthwhowasnowsl eepingpeacef
ull
yinmy
hands.Iwantedtokeepthi
st omysel
fbutIal
so
fel
tli
keIneedsomesor tofanswers.
"Doyouknowany
bodybyt
henameof
Langel
i
hle?"
Shepoppedherey
es.
"
Howdoy
ouknowher
?"
"ShesentMuziatextthi
smorning"
.Icouldn'
t
readherfaceaft
erItol
dhert
his.Shethen
askedmewhatt hemessagesaidandIt oldher
.
Wordforwor d.
"Andyouwerecryi
ngbecauseoft
hat?
"She
asked.It
houghtshewoul
dbeequall
ymadasI
was.
"
What
?"Iasked.Iwasgenui
nel
yconf
used.
"
Vel
e.I
sthatwhyy
ouar
eupset
?"Sheshotback.
"SoI
'm supposedt
osmi l
eandbehappyt
hat
he'
sentert
aini
ngotherwomen?
"
"
Didy
our
eadANDunder
standt
hatSMS?
"
Ikeptmymouthshutandl
ookedaway
.Idon'
t
haveti
mefort
his.
"Youar egett
ingmar r
iedtoMuzikayise
Khumal o.Afil
thyrich,handsomemanandy ou
thoughtallofthi
swasgoi ngtobesmoot h
sail
ing?Pullyourselftoget
herbecauseIam not
goingtobewi pingy ourtear
sbecauseskanks!"
Shet henstoodup, tookherbabyt henlef
t.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*

Idon'
tknowwhathappenedbet
weenmeand
Mabuy ii
nt hatbedr oom butwhat everitwas,it
seemedt ohav ebeenpushedundert herug
whenwewer esi t
tingint heTVr oom hav i
ngice
cream wi thmaandThando.Thesunwas
settingandt hemoodwasj ustchi ll
ed.Ihaven'
t
spokent oMuzi si
ncemor ni
ngbecausehewas
outt oonly-God- knows- wher ethewhol e
afternoon.Hewal kedi nandgr eet edusal l
passi v
elythenwal kedupt hest airs."Manje
uyaphi ?"
(Hismot herasked) ."Ngi sayogeza"(I'
m
goingt otakeabat h).Hey ell
edashecont i
nued
toclimbupwi thoutl ookingback.Hehasbeen
moodyev ersi ncewegother ebuthe' snow
wor se."Hecangoshov ehismoodysel fwhere
thesundoesn' tshi ne"
Ithoughtt
omysel fashewentupt hestair
s.
Manqobaandhi sfamil
ywal kedinandt her
e
weresuddenlysmil
esandlaughsev er
ywhere.
Histwinsaremadbeautif
ul.Theyalsolookso
fr
eakishl
yident
ical
.Theygreetedusoneaf ter
theotherandt hat'
swhenInot i
cedt hatt
heyar e
bothshy.Manqobawasbei nghi
scr azyselfas
usual
, f
orci
ngev eryonetolaugh.Thandot hen
said"
Wazewaf i
kakahle.Woza"(Youdidwel lby
comingher e.Come) .Shesaidasshedr aggeda
rel
uctantyetlaughingEnhleupstai
rs.
Wecont inuedwat chingTVandi ndulgi
ngoni ce
cream i nwhi t
ebowl swhi l
emai nterrogatedMQ
abouthi slif
ei nJobur g.Muzicamedownt he
stairsandasusual ,hiscolognelaidoutt hered
carpetf orhisgrandent rance.Hewasdr essed
i
nasi mpl eblackt-shirt
,bl
ackjeanswhi ch
l
ookedl iketheywer egr at
edont hef r
ontofhi s
thighsandl egsandcl eanwhitesneaker s.He
wasf ocusedonput t
ingonhi swat ch.
"Usur
eady
?Masambeni "Manqobasai
dashe
gotupanddanced.Muzishookhi
sheadand
l
aughedli
ght
ly.
Mabuyi
lookedme.Il
ookedatherback.We
bot
hrai
sedoureyesatMuziwhowasf ocused
onhi
scl
ownofabrot
herandbacktoeach
ot
her
.Cl
ear
lydupl
i
cat
ingeachother
sthought
s.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t59.

"
Niyaphikemanj
eninanobabi
l
i?Thethoughtof
t
hebot hofy
ouinthesamespacegiv
esmea
migrai
ne"Hi
smom said.
TheylaughedasMuzi cametogi vethebothof
uskissesonthecheeksandt oldushe'll
be
back.Hisscentmademewantt owr apmyself
andtanglemyl egsar
oundhim andhi swaist
.
ButIjustnodded.Mabuyidi
dn'trespond.
"Mi
ndifwecat
chal
i
ftwi
thy
ouguy
s?"Mabuy
i
sai
d.
Manqobawascl
ear
lyagai
nstt
his.
"
Hay
ini
yaphi
?"Heshotout
.
Muzil
aughedandsai
d"Awukahl
ebaf
o.Ni
yaphi
baby
?Andwho's"we"
?
"MnaxandI.RememberIhavet
ogetfor
mul
a
forKuhl
e?Iwassupposedtogoint
he
after
noon"
"
Can'
tyoudot
hatt
omor
row?Ni
zobuy
angani
?"
Mabuyiwasaboutt
oarguewhenhesai
d"Yazi
n?
Let
'sgoI'
l
lbr
ingyouback"
Manqobasai d"There'
spl
entyofcar si
nthi
s
house.Angiyi
zwanjenhlobomi naindabay
ama
l
if
t"(
Idon'tunderst
andthi
sli
ftissue)
Mabuy
isai
d"Ar
gyou'
rer
ight
.Dr
ivesaf
ely
"
Muziwasclear
lysur
pri
sedbyt
hisandsai
d"U
r
ightbaby
?"
"
Yeaht
otal
l
y.Nat
hihasapoi
nt"
"
Okayt
hen.Ngi
yani
thandan'
yezwa.Nobabi
l
i"
Hewasn'
ti
nthehighspi
ri
tst
hatweall
know
hi
mtoalwaysdi
splay
.Hi
spersonal
i
tyi
snotas
colorf
uli
sManqoba' sonanav er
agedaybut
todayhewasl ow-bat
teryspiri
tedthant
heusual,
calm Muzi.However,Il
etitgo.Theywentout
andMabuy i
said"
Let'
sgo" ,shesaidasshe
quickl
ygotintohersli
ppers.Shelookedli
keshe
wasi nahurry.Mawasl ookingatthebothus
suspici
ouslybutr
esor t
edtokeepingsil
ent.Igot
upandf ol
lowedher.

Wegott othegar
ageandgotint hecar .Shesat
foraf ewmoment sshecouldstartthecar .
Afterawhi l
eIfi
guredshewaswai ti
ngf orthem
todriveout.Shethensai
d"Fakai-seatbealt"
.
Muzi kayi
separtI
I.
"Youdon'
tlookl
i
kesomebodywhoi
sgoi
ngt
o
getfor
mula"
Shelaughedandkeptondr
ivi
ng.Thei
rcarwas
outofsight
.
"
Damnr
ightI
'
m not
"shesai
dasshet
iedher
hai
rint
oabun.
"
Arey
oubei
ngser
ious?
"Iaskedher
.
"
IfIwasjoki
ngy
ou'
dst
il
lbeseat
edwat
chi
ngTV
r
ightnow"
Il
aughed.
"
Butwai
t,i
fyouwantedtof
oll
owt hem,why
woul
dyouwanttocatchal
if
tfrom them?
"
Shelaughedandsai d"See,menthinkthey'
re
smar t
ert hanus.Somet i
mesy oujusthaveto
bli
ndsidet hem thanattackwhent heyleast
expectit.IfIhadn't,
theywould'vebeen
i
mmedi atelysuspici
ouswhywear eBOTH
gett
ingint othecaraf t
erthem."
Il
aughedhar
der
.
"Butwe'
vel
ostt
hem.Weshoul
djustgoback
home"
"Nowehaven'
t.It
hinkIknowwher
etheywent"
shesai
dandheldont obotht
hest
eer
ingwheel
andhersi
l
ence.
"
Wel
l
...
?"Ii
nqui
red.
"Manqobahasbeenhypi
ngJoe'
s
housewarmingpar
tyt
hewholeweek.I
fthat
's
notwheretheyatt
henwe'
ll
comebackhome"
"
AndIsupposey
ouknowwher
ethi
sis"
"Yeahhe'
samut ualf
ri
end.Idon'
tevenknow
whytheyevencall
editahousewarming
becauseal
lhedidwast oext
endandr enov
ate.
Howdoy ouwarm upanol dhouse?"
Wel
aughedandsheshookherhead.
"
Whati
ftheyseeus?
"
"
Willy
ourel
ax?"Shesai
d.Iwasn'tsur
eif
f
oll
owinghi
m wassuchagoodi dea.
Wegott her
eandparkedbehindagoldmini
cooper.Thest
reetwaspackedandfull
ofcars.
Wecoul dseeManqoba'
sblueX6M from a
di
stance.Ther
ewerepeopleever
ywhere.Some
si
tt
ingonthestreetwitht
heircampingchair
s
andbeer
s.Luckil
y,thecarwewer einhas
di
mmedwi ndowssot her
ewasnowayany body
wouldbesurpr
isedatusj ustsi
tt
ingint
here.
Mabuy i
f l
ewherey esar oundl ookingf orMuz i
.I
foundhimf i
rstandsai d" Therehei s!".They
wereseatedout si
dethehouseont hegr ass,
l
aughingt heirlungsout .Itwashi m, Manqoba
and3ot herguy s.Themusi cwast ool oud.
Somewer eal r
eadydr unk.Somewer ehaving
theti
meoft heirl i
feinandar oundt he
swimmi ngpool .Somewer ebusybr aaingthe
meatwher eassomewer emaki ngout .We
watchedhi ml aughi ngwhi l
eonhi sphone.The
other
swer einvest edint heconv ersat i
onbuthe
seemedl i
kehewast her ebutalsowasn' tatthe
samet i
me.
"
Sowe'
regonnasi
ther
eandwat
chpeopl
epar
ty
f
ort
hewholeni
ght
?"
Shel
ookedatmel
i
keIwasst
upi
dforaski
ng
t
hisquesti
on.Ist
aredback.Wet
henexpl
oded
i
nlaughter
.
"Mxm uMbulazii
sgoingt
obethedeathofus
yazi"shesai
dandall
owedherheadtofal
lon
topofherhandsthatwer
eonthetopofthe
steeri
ngwheel.

"
Vel
evel
ewhoi
sthi
sLangel
i
hlechi
ck?
"Iasked.
Shesatbackonthecarseatandl
ooked
st
rai
ghtahead.
"She'st
hegir
lIst
inafi
ed"shesaidandranher
tongueonherupperteeth.What?Isai
dand
couldn'
thel
pbutlaugh.Iwasfeeli
ngawholel
ot
bettert
hanIdidt
hismor ni
ng.
"
Soi
t'
ssaf
etosayshe'
syourenemy
?"Isai
d
"
Iwasher
s.Shewasn'
tmi
neunt
ilt
hismor
ning"
"
Whydoy
ousoundsopr
oudofwhaty
oudi
d?"
"
I'
m not
.Iwasbutt
hatwasj
ustmebei
ngaki
d"
"
Whywouldyoubepr
oudoftaki
ngsomeone'
s
man?
"Isai
dandcont
inuedl
aughed.
"Youcl
ear
lyhavenoideawhoy ou'
remarr
iedor
shoul
dIsayengagedto.Doyou?"Shesai
dand
l
aughed.
"Mi
ndtel
l
ingmeabouthi
m?Whathewasl
i
ke
asaboy?"
Shelaughedandsaid"Oneword.Hear
tbr
eaker
.
Forsomeoddr eason,
that
'swhatmadehim
att
ract
ive"
Il
aughedbutf
eltsl
i
ght
lyuneasyaboutt
his.
"Don'tlooksowor r
iednawe.Hehasgr ownover
they ears.Al
ot.Ibeli
eve"shesai
dandpulleda
packetofLay sfrom herhandbagthatwas
placedont hebackseat.
"Whathappenedvel
e?"Isai
d.Shepul
l
edthe
packetopenandoff
eredmesome.Itookouta
few.
"
Wel
l
.."Shesai
dasshechewed.
"Langelihlei salsoapr incess.Soy oucanj ust
i
magi ne.Thecompet i
tionbet weenuswasr i
fe.
Muzi fir
stwentaf t
erme.Ideci dedt opl ay'har d
toget '
.Shehear dt her umour sbecausei fther e
wasnowayMuzi cancomeaf t
ery ouand
peopledon' tfindoutbecausehewental louti f
hewasser iousabouty ou.Shewentaf terhim
andmadesur eshepubl i
shedt hef actt hatthey
slepttoget her.Thatbr okemyhear t.Mymom
noticedt hatIwasn' tokayandasked.I
eventuallyt oldher.Shesai dshehasnot i
ced
how" theboyi sadamantt ohav emei nhi slif
e".
Shewasal soi mpr essedbyt hef actt hathe'sa
Khumal o.Mydadhadal way swant edt of orm
somesor tofanal liancewi t
hChi efKhumal o.
Shef uelledmet o"fightformyman" .Thatv ery
sameni ght, hecamet omyhouseandwhi stl
ed.
Hehadauni quewhi stl
e.Mymom al readyknew
i
twashi m.Shecov eredf ormeandIwentout .
Andsi ncethatnight,t
her estbecamehi story
.I
j
ustwonderwhatshe' sdoi ngbackinSout h
Afri
ca"shesai d.I'
venoticedhowshebl ushes
whenev ershespeaksaboutMuzi .Itst
illsti
ngs
butithurtsbetterthanitdidinthebeginning.I
don'tblamehert hough.Mymanknowshi s
stor
y .
Shet henconcentratedtowheret hemenwere
seated.Thebr i
ghtli
ghtsoutsi
deoft hehouse
madet hi
seasierforher.2l
adiesapproached
them.Onei nbumshor t
sapproachedoneofthe
guysIdon' tknowandt heotherinaswi msui
t
waschat ti
ngupMuzi .Mabuyisaid"YazI
honestlydon'tneedacr i
minalrecordmnax"
"I
sthather?
"Iaskedandsheshookherheadi
n
di
sapproval
.
Itookalookatherandbackatthemen.She
tr
iedtositonhi
slapbutheheldthesi
deofher
waistandmadeherstandbackup.Hethen
shookhisheadatwhatevershewassayi
ngto
hi
m.Shet hr
ewherhandintheairt oshowhow
annoyedshewasbyhim andwal kedaway.It
l
ookedliket
heguysweredisappointedbythi
s
actbyhim.Hel
aughedandcar r
iedonpl ay
ing
wit
hhisphone.
"
Canwegohomenow?I
t'
slat
e".Isai
d.The
t
imewas20h33.
"Ther
e'scl
earl
ynosi
gnoft
hisgi
rlwe'
vebeen
sit
ti
nghereforawhi
l
enow"
"Onemor ehourthenwe'l
ll
eav
e.Shesai
dand
unlockedherphone,goi
ngont
oWhatsApp.Idi
d
thesame.

"
Mabuy
i"Isayi
nahusk.
"
Mabuy
i!
"Ishoutf
orherat
tent
ion.
"Hm? "Shesaysassherai
seshereyest
othe
front
.Webot hseeMuziwalki
ngtoand
unlocki
ngthecar.Coul
dhebegoingbackhome?
"
CRAP!"Webothsayasshepani
csherwayi
nto
i
gni
ti
ngandstar
ti
ngthecar
.
Hedr i
v esoffandwet akeadi f
ferentroute.
Mabuy i wasconvincedt hatit
'l
lgetushome
quickerbutIfeltl
ikeshewasn' tdri
vingfast
enough.Whenourcarwasappr oachingthe
gate,hiswascomi ngf rom theopposi te
di
rection.Hedr ovei nandpar kedaf terus.We
al
lgotoutoft hecaratt hesamet i
me.Wedi dn'
t
evenbot hercookingupast oryIknewshewas
goingt odoallthet alking.
"I
fiti
sn'tthetwobeaut
if
ul MrsMKs.
Nibuyaphi?"
(Wherear
eyoucomi ngfrom?)He
saidwithasmi l
eonhisface.Thecharm Lor
d.
Thechar m!
"It
oldy
ouangi
thbaby
.For
mul
a.Babyf
ormul
a"
shesai
d.
"
Iphi
yonaley
oformula?"(
Wherei
sthat
f
ormula?
)Heasked,
stil
lsmil
i
ng.
"I
nthecar
"Ij
umpedi
nwhenMabuy
iwascl
ear
ly
aboutt
ostut
ter
.
"Phoniy
ishiyelani
?Azangeni t
hiiphel
i
lekant
i?
Ngekeay '
dingeuboy ?
"(Thenwhyar eyou
l
eav i
ngitbehind?Won'tt hebabyneedit
?)He
saidaswewal kedint
ot hehouse.
"
Hayii
sekhonaencani
"(Ali
tt
leofiti
sst
il
l
l
eft
)Mabuyisai
dandlookedahead.
"
Oly
t.Ni
yi
thengekuphi
?"(
Wher
edi
dyoubuyi
t?)
"WOOLIES!
""CLI
CKS!"Wesai
d,gi
vi
ngt
wo
opposi
nganswers.
Hest
oppedwal
ki
ng,
fir
stl
ookedatMabuy
iand
t
henatme.
"I
'mjustgoi
ngtoassumet hattwoshopshav
e
nowf or
medamer ger"hesaidandli
ghtl
y
l
aughed.Wewalkedintotheliv
ingr
oom and
foundThandowatchi
ngTV.
"
Babygi
rl
,doy
oumi
ndexcusi
ngusabi
t?"He
sai
dandshei mmediat
elyst
oodupandsl idi
nto
hersl
i
ppers.Il
ovehowsher espect
shim but
cansti
l
lbecomf or
tabl
earoundhim att
hesame
ti
me.
Hethenputhi
sst
uffont
opofthecoffeetable
andsatdownont
hecouch.Hepat
tedt hesides
andsai
dwemustbothcomesitt
here.Wedi d.
Hetookmylef
thandandMabuyi'
sri
ghtand
car
essedt
hem gent
lybef
orehecoul
dspeak.
"Idon'
tknowhowt osayt
hisbutIam honest
ly
disappoi
ntedbyt
hebothofyou".Si
l
ence.
"Number1.You'r
ebadliar
s.Verybadli
ars.Soif
nif
unaukuzwananami don'
teverpul
lastunt
l
ikeyoudidtoday"
(I
fyouwantust ogetalong.
..
)
"
Whatst
unt
?"Iasked.
"Soyout
hinkyoucoul
dfol
l
owme, i
nMYcar ,
withMYregi
str
ati
onnumberandIwoul
dn'
tbe
ablet
oseeyou?"
Mabuy
icoughed.
"Somethi
ngony
ourt
hroat
?"Het
urnedt
oher
andasked.
"
YeahbutI
'
mfi
nenow"sher
epl
i
ed.
"Yazi
yini
?"(
Youknowwhatiti
s?)
Heasked.She
shookherheadwit
hhereyesoutathi
m.
"
Ubumenemenenamanga"
(Cr
ooker
yandl
i
es)
Il
aughed.Icoul
dn'
thel
pit
.
"
Uhl
ekani
wena?
(Andwhatar
eyoul
aughi
ngat
?)
Icl
earedmythroatandl
ookedaway
.Ourhands
weresti
ll
inhi
s.
"I
'm notgonnacheatony ouandi fIdi
dany thi
ng
toconvinceyout hatI'
m headi ngouttoLihle
thanningixol
ele.Ihateseei ngthebothofy ou
thi
sinsecure.WhenIf i
rstmety ou,nothi
ng
couldshakethet woofy ou.Andy ouwoul dn't
havedonesomet hingoft hissort
.Whichmakes
mewonderhowbadIact uall
yam atthis
husbandingthing"Iwasaboutt
ointer
ruptwhen
heimmedi atel
yaddedandsaid"I'
vebeen
preachi
ngt hatIwantus3total
kandt hi
sisnot
whatIwant edtospeakabout"wekeptquiet
.
"ButIhav eonet hingtoappl audy ouf orbef ore
wecanspeakaboutt her eal r
easonwhywe' re
seatedher e.I
'm pr oudoft hef actthatwheny ou
feltl
ikethere'
ssomet hingt hreateningy our
familyyoucamet ogetherandt r
iedt of ighti
t ,
in
unison.Thesear ethekindofwi vesIsi gnedup
for.Youhav epr ovedt omet hatev eni fIhappen
todietoday ,t
hisf amilywi l
lnotcr umbl eand
comeapar tnikhona.Atl eastt hat'
showIseei t.
You'redoinggr eat.I'
venev erseeny out wot hi
s
close"wel aughedandsmi ledatt hesamet ime.
"Nowlet
'stalkaboutthecoreofthismeet i
ng.
Wecan'tgoonl i
ket hi
sforev
er.MaDlami ni,I
needyoubackhome.Ibel ieveyouhav elearnt
all
youneededt olearnfr
om bothyourmot her
s
butnowy ourhusbandneedsy ou.Ican'tkeep
trav
ell
i
ngbackandf or
thtocomeseey ou."She
nodded.Het ur
nedtomeandt ol
dmet hathe
boughtmeahousewhi chisnotthatf
arandnot
thatdi
ffer
entfrom Mabuyi
'sandhopesthatI'
m
gonnalikeit
.
"
ButI
'ml
ooki
ngtobuyenoughl
andthat'
sgoing
t
oall
owf
ortheki
ndofhouseIwanttobuil
d"
"
Whatki
ndofhousei
sthat
?"
"
Whatt
ypeofhousei
sthat
?"
Mabuy
iandIaskedsi
mul
taneousl
y.
"
Iwantahousewi thcompl etelyidenti
cal wings.
Oneofy oucant aket heleftandt heotherthe
r
ight.Thereasonf orthisist hat,Iwantmyki ds
t
ogr owuppl ayi
ngt ogether .Ift
heydon' tliv
ei n
t
hesamey ar
dthent heywi l
l neverbecl ose.Tell
mewhaty outhi
nkaboutt his.Also, di
videmy
t
imeamongsty out wof air
lyandequal lyinsuch
awayt hatiti
sconv enientforal lofus.
Ngizozwangani kodwai fni yahlulekaI'
lldoitfor
you.Ngisay
olalaminaIst
il
lhavetodri
ve
tomorrow"hesaidandki
ssedbothourcheeks,
pickeduphisphoneandkeysandlef
tusthere.

UNEDI
TED.
|
300comment
stounl
ockt
henexti
nser
t|
I
nser
t60.

Theal arm Ihadsetf or06h00wentof fand

tr
iggeredmyi r
ri
tati
on.If el
tl i
keIst i
llneeded
mor esleepbecauseIst ruggledtosl eept he
previ
ousni ght.Howev er,Igotoutofmybed
anddr aggedmy sel
ftot hemi r
ror.Iraisedmy
pyjamat opandhadal ookatmyt ummy .Ifeel
l
ikeI'm showingbutmymom andMuzi say
otherwise.Mom say sIf eel l
ikethisbecauseI '
m
usedt oaf l
atstomach.ButIst i
llfeelli
kei f
somebodyl ooksatmecar eful
ly,theywi llj
ust
know.Idon' tknowi fI'
m bei ngpar anoidornot .I
l
azil
ywentt otakeabat h.If el
theav y.LikeIhad
myownwhol ewei ghtonmyshoul ders.Igot
done,openedt hewi ndowst oall
owf orsome
fr
esh,coldairtofil
lther oom andgotdr essed.
TherewasaknockonmydoorasIwassi t
ting
onthebedandt akingabr eather.Ifeltr
eally
exhausted.Iyell
edt hattheyshoul dl etthemself
i
nandputmyhandsbehi ndmeont hebed.
Muzi walkedindressedi nbl ackt r
acksui t
s,a
whitetopunderhi sunzippedt r
ackt opand
sneakersandcamet ositnextt ome.

Het
hent
urnedhi
sheadt
olookatme.
"
Youokay
?"Heasked.
"I
'
llbef
ine.I'
mjustt
iredandhungr
y"Isai
dasI
shutmyey esandal
lowedmyheadt ofal
lback.
"Babyuzabeunj
aniwheny ougett
o9months?
Seeingyouli
ket
hisbreaksmyheart"
(Howwi
ll
youbewheny ougetto9mont hs?
)
"Hawu.Kanti
y oust
il
lcar
e?"Isai
d.Iwas
honest
lynotinthemoodtoentert
ainhi
m.
"
Bheka,I
'
m sorrymyl
ove.I
'
mreal
l
ysor
ryIhur
t
y
ourfeel
ings"
Itur
nedt olookathim.Blankly.Ami schievous
smil
egr ewonhi sface.Ii
mmedi atelylaughed
andgotupt orun.Hegr abbedmebackt othe
bedandpi nnedmedown.Il aughedandmov ed
myf aceawayf r
om him becausehewant edto
ki
ssme.It ight
lypursedmyl ipstogether
becausehewasbusysmoochi ngupmyf ace.
"AwungiyekeMbul azi
!"(
Leavemealone)
Isai
d
asItri
edt ospeakandshutmymout hwhile
uncontr
ollablyl
aughingatthesameti
me.Muzi
i
ssuchbul l
y.
Hestoppedandsai
d"Okaykengi
cel
a
ungi
qabulebaby
yy"
(Pl
easeki
ssme)
Hesulkedandl
ookeddesper
ate.Il
aughedand
askedhimtogetof
fme.Hefinall
ydidandsat
upri
ght.Iwi
pedmymouthwitht
hebackofmy
hand.Helookedatmeandsmil
ed.
"Onaseri
ousnot
e,Idon'
tli
kehowy outr
eatme
someti
mes"Isai
dandallowedhiseyesto
magneti
zeminei
ntoamut ual
star
e.
"Ngenzen?"(
Whatdi
dIdoexact
ly?
)Hecal
mly
andlowlysai
d,al
mosti
nawhisper.
"I
'mverymuchawar eofthenumberofwomen
thatwantyouratt
enti
on.Iseethel
ooksinthei
r
eyeseveryti
meIam wi t
hy oumylove.Butyou
knowwhatel seIsee?
"
Heswal
l
owedbot
hhi
sli
psandshookhi
shead.
"Thelookintheeyesoft hement hatwouldkil
l
tohavemesweepi ngt heirmot hers'
yardsever
y
morning.
"Isaidandstoodupt ogogett her
est
ofmyt oi
let
ri
esinthebat hr oom.Leavinghim
ther
ewi t
hhisjawont hef loor.
*
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***

Muzi gotmeev ery thingIf eltli

kehav ingf orthe
road.Fr om Zi nger wi ngsandaBoxmast erto
biltongandchocol atecake.Hesuddenl y
changedi ntoay es- man.Il aughedi nter nall
y
andj ustsmi l
edt omy self.Iat eandsl eptont he
road.Thehal ttot hemot i
onoft hecarcutmy
sleepshor t.Iwokeupandmyey esi mmedi atel
y
fellonMuzi 'sscreen.Hewaschecki nghi s
emai ls.Ihat ethiscur iosit
yt hatwasl inger i
ng
ov ermyhead, handi nhandwi thi nsecur i
tyand
doubt .Ittookmebackt ot het imewhenIwas
wit hKgokagano.Eacht imehespoket oa
woman, Iwonder edwhatt heywer etal king
about .Idon' twantt obet hatwoman.I
i
mmedi atelytookmyey esof fhisscr eenand
wat chedhi m biti
nghi slowerl i
p, concent rating
onwhat ev erhewast yping.Het hent urnedt o
meandsaid"Heysl
eepyhead"andof
feredme
asoftsmi
l
e.Ismil
edback,wit
hmyheadst i
l
l
ont
opofhand,whi
chIhadusedasapi l
l
ow.
"Whydidn'
tyouwakemeup? "IaskedasI
rubbedmyey es,
tryi
ngt
ogetri
doft hel
i
ttl
e
sleepIst
il
lhadinthem.
"Youweresl
eepi
ngpeacef
ull
y.Idi
dn'
twanna
dist
urby
ou"
Hesai
dandconti
nuedt
ypi
ng.Het
henl
ocked
hi
sphoneandputi
taway.
"
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngnow?
"Heasked.
"Li
kecrap"Isai
d.Ihonestl
yfel
tli
kecrap.My
stomachwasupsetandIwasf eeli
nghot.He
pull
edabottl
eofwaterfrom t
hebackseatand
handeditt
ome.Itookitanddrankup.
"It
hinkweshoul
dgoseeadoctor
.Ever
ythi
ng
hasbeensochaoti
cthatwedi
dn'
tgety
oua
propergy
nae"
Ij
ustl
ookedathi
m.
"
Youst
il
lhat
eme?Ngi
yaxol
i
samommy
"
"
Idon'
that
eyou.Ij
ustwantt
ogohome"
"
Shoul
dIgety
ouany
thi
ng?
"Heasked.
Ishookmyheadandshutmyeyes.Hegott
he
messagebecausehest
art
edt
hecarandgoton
theroad.

Tlhogi
call
edmeandaskedwhenI
'
llbeback
andItoldhi
mI'
m onmywayhomeaswespoke.
"Goodbecauset
omor
rowy
ouandIar
egoi
ng
caketast
ing"
"
YohIdon'
tthi
nkI
'
llbeab.
..
"
"Iwasannouncing.Notaski
ng.Youdon'
tgetto
maket herul
essinceyou'
renottheone
expectedt
oputt oget
heraweddingthat
's
worthyofbeingonTopBi l
li
ngin2weeks.Good
day"
Hesai
danddroppedt
hecal
l
.Ir
oll
edmyey
es
andMuzi
laughed.
"
Howi
sitgoi
ng?
"
"
Yohbaby.
.don'
tev
enask"Isai
dandf
rowned
i
nfr
ustr
ati
on.
"Saystheper
sonwhowant edt
odoal l
thi
sby
hersel
f"hesaidandl
aughedharder
.Ihat
ehi
m.

*
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*

Wef inal
l
yar r
ivedinPolokwaneandIcoul df
eel
myhear twarmi ngupwi t
hjoy.Ical
l
edmymom
toletherknowt hatI
'l
lbehomesoon.She
askedmet ohandMuzi thephone.Isaidokay
andgav eittohim.Hetooki tandbalancedi
t
withhisshoulderwhil
edr i
vi
ng.
"
Ma?
"
"
Yes"
"
Hay
inamhl
anj
e"(
Nott
oday
Hethenlaughedandsai
d"Ungawor
ry
uzovuma"(
She'sgoi
ngtoagr
ee)
Il
ookedathi
m suspi
ciousl
y.Icoul
dn'
theara
wordmymom wassay i
ng.
"K'
l
ungilema".Hewassohumbleandsosoft
spokenasheal way
siswhenspeakingt
omy
mother.Hetookthephoneandhandedi
ttome.
"
And?
"Il
ookedathi
m,awai
ti
ngananswer
.
"Yourmom i
saskingthaty
oucomeback
tomorr
ow.Nottoday"hesaidandkepthi
sey
es
ontheroad.
"
Arey
oubei
ngser
ious?Why
?"
"
Shedi
dn'
tsay
"
"
Well
that
'sodd.Andy
ouj
ustmadet
hedeci
sion
f
orme?"
"
WasIsupposedt
oar
guewi
thher
?"
Hi
squesti
onsuckedallofmystrengtht
hrough
ast
raw.Ikeptqui
etandlookedoutthewindow.
"So.
.ar
eyoucomi
ngwi
thmeory
ouwannago
home?"
"Shedoesn'
twantmet
her
e.Let
'sj
ustgot
omy
place"
"
Sur
e?"
"
Yeah"Isai
dandhedr
oveon.

Wegott omypl aceandhesunkdownont he

couchwi thbothourbags.Hepl acedhishead
againstthebackrestandputhi shandoverhi
s
foreheadthenexhaled.Deepl
y .Icl
osedthe
doorandwentt omyr oom.Ithrewmyweav e
ont hebed,tookoffmyclothesandgoti nt
o
athlet
eshortsandaspor tsbra.It'
sbeenawhi l
e
sinceI'
vebeent hereandIsureashel l
wasn't
goingtobeabl
etosl
eepwi
thoutcl
eani
ngup
fi
rst.

Igotoutoft heroom andf oundhiminthesame

positi
on.Hel ookedreall
ytir
ed.Iaskedhimif
he'shungryandhepol i
tel
ysaidno.Isaid
"Al
right"andwentt ofetchthebroom fr
om t
he
kit
chen.
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"Heaskedashest
ood.
"
I'
m cl
eani
ngup"
"
Letmedoit"hesai
dashet
ookt
hebr
oom
f
rom me.Il
aughed.
"Awhol
epri
nce?Clean?Doy ouev
enknowgor
e
l
etswar
iwabj
anglefi
elo?
"(.
..howt
ohol
da
broom?
)
Helaughedandsaid"Yeahhawu!
"Hewas
genui
nelyshockedbymyquesti
on.
"
What
'snext
?Don'
ttel
lmey
oucanal
socook"
"
Act
ual
l
y,Ican.AndI
'
m bl
oodygoodati
t"
"Dudehow?Yougr ewupinaroyal
houseful
lof
helps!Mxm y
ouknowwhat ?Giv
emebackmy
broom"Isai
dt r
yingt
otakei
tback,l
aughi
ng.
"Umauthi"dude"ushomi nakonj
e?"
(Whenyou
say"
dude"y ou'
rerefer
ri
ngtome? )Hesai
dand
l
aughed.Ikeptquietandsmiled.
"Okayt
hen.Letmepr oveitt
oyou"hesai
dand
pull
edhi
sforevercharmingsmi
rk.
"
Arey
ouev
enZul
u?"Iaskedandhel
aughed.
"
Ther
e'snowayy
oucandoal
loft
hoset
hings"
Heal
lowedthebroom t
of al
landputhi
shands
onmywai st
.Hethenpeckedmylipsand
whi
spered,"
Youshoul
dlearntoask"
"
I'
m aksssi
ngt
hen"Iwhi
sper
edback.He
l
aughed.
"
Well,
thecleani
ngpartIl
earntf
rom l
i
vingby
mysel
fatres.Ihadnochoice."
"Thent
hecookingpart
?Si
nceyou'r
e"bloody
goodatit
""IsaidasIi
mit
atedquotat
ionmarks
withmyfi
ngers.
"
Cul
i
nar
yschool
"
"
Buty
oudi
dengi
neer
ing?
"Iasked.
"
So?
"Heaskedback.
"
Why
?"Ishotbackandl
aughed.
"
Bor
edom"Il
aughedhar
der
.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t61.

Muzi i
nsistedoncleani
ngupandIl etit
.We
weretalkingbutforsomer eason,
Iendedupi n
anotherdimensionwithoutmyconsent.Isleep
alottheseday sandit'
sannoy i
ngbecausethe
i
ronyis,onewoul dexpectmet oalwaysfeel
wellrestedaf t
ersomegoodsl eepbutIal ways
wakeupev enmor etired.Iwokeuponmybed
butIf el
lasleepont hecouch.Ther oom smel t
divi
ne.Thesmel loflav endersof t
lyflewi ntomy
nostril
s.Her eall
ywenti nthatdeepwi t
hthe
cleaning?It houghthewoul djustsweepand
endt here.Iwokeupandsl idintomysl ippers.I
l
ookedar oundf ormyphoneandcoul dn't
rememberwher eIleftit.Icheckedt het imeon
myal arm.Itwas20h40.Iwasgone!
If
oundhi
mintheki
tchenandhewelcomedme
wi
thasmil
e.Thepl
acewassqueakyclean.
"
Baby
?"Ical
l
edout
.
"
Hm?
"Her
epl
i
edashedi
shedup.
"
Yousurey oudi
dn'
thi
reanybodyt
odoalli
tthi
s
f
oryou?"Iaskedasmyeyesconti
nuedt
oscan
t
heplace.
Hel
aughedandhi
sphoner
angashewasabout
t
orespond.
"
Baby
?"Heanswer
edashewal
kedout
side.
Iexhal
edandt
ri
edt
onotl
eti
tgett
ome.I
'
m
j
usthappyhei
sher
e.Wi
thme.
Iwentov ertotastehiscreamypast aandIfell
deeperinlove.Heav enli
ter
allysatonmy
tongue.Iwaitedforhimt ocomebackbuthe
tookhistime.Idraggedmy selftomyroom for
ashowersoIdi dn'
tgrowi mpat i
entandstar
t
throwingmyt oysaround.I'
mt ry
ingmybestnot
tofightwit
hhi m overthi
ngsIcanav oi
difIt
ry
hardenough.

Iall
owedt hemoder atel
yhotwat ertohi
tmy
backasIpl acedmywethandsont heti
lewall
.
Thatfeltgood.Thewat erfeltamazi
ngly
refr
eshing.Ial
lowedittorundownmyf aceas
wellasIclosedmyey estosoakf ul
lyi
nthe
feel
ing.Irai
sedmyf ingersintomyhairandfel
t
hishandon( r
emov ed)
*
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*
*

Weendedupeat ingcolddinnerbutitwasst i
l
l
delicious.Thechi ckenwasal sotodiefor.AllI
want edt odowasbei nhisarmsandr ollback
andf ort
hi nhi sattenti
on.Hecouldn'tst
op
l
aughi ngatmycr ybabyselfIsnuggledupi nhis
strongar msont hecouch.Icouldn'thel
pbut
feel needy .Ilovet hi
smanwi t
hmywhol ehear t
andIcan' twai ttoof f
ici
all
ygetmar r
iedtohim.I
thoughtt omysel fashekeptt al
kingtohimself
becauseIdi dn'thearawor d.Iwaslostinhis
presence.
Weendedupgoi
ngtobedandasIexpected,he
f
***
*dmeagainbef
orewecoul
doffi
cial
l
ysl eep.

Not
hingbeatswakingupi
nthear
msofthe
many oul
ove.Icanbetwi
thwhat
ever
.Not
hing
beatst
hef eeli
ngofwaki ngupcuddl edinthe
handsoftheownerofy ourheart.Hehadhi s
handsonmyt ummy ,f
astasleepasIpulledthe
fr
eshduvett ocov erusboth.Myphonebeeped
asIwastry i
ngt odrif
tbackintosleepbecause
i
twasst i
l
lear l
yandchi ll
yinthemor ni
ng.The
perf
ectweat hertosleepincuddledupy ouask?
Aft
eraheav yr ai
n.

Itakethephoneandunl
ocki
t.Husbaewasst
il
l
fastasleep.
Ireadthemessage4t imesbefor
eitactuall
y
sunkinbutitsti
l
l f
loat
edontopoftheseaof
confusi
onthatwascausingaturbulentf
loodin
mymi nd.Ir
eadi tagai
nslowl
ytryi
ngt ot
akeit
i
nwor dbywor d.

"
Itmi
ghtbecuter
osesandlov
escenesatt
he
momentbutl
etmejustwar
ny ou.Yes.
Muzikay
isei
sasweetheart
.Grant
ed.Butt
rust
mewhenIsayhedoesnothav eaheartwhen
pushedtoof
ar.Sogearupbabygir
l"
.

Fir
stofall,whoi sthis?Iaskmysel fasIf elta
fi
restart
inginmyhear t
.Itr
yt ot urnov erto
Muzi buttheposi ti
onwe' r
ei ndoesn' tall
owme.
Ibit
emyl owerl iptryingt ofigureoutwhot his
couldbe.Iwantt owakehi m upandaskbutI
promisedmy selftoav oidfightingwi thhim.But
whatdoest hismeanwhent heysayhedoesn' t
haveahear twhenpushedt oof ar?Wher e
exactl
yis" t
oof ar"?Thesequest i
onst umbl e
vi
olentl
yinmymi ndt ravel
li
ngsol o,withno
answerst oanyoft hem.Ichooset okeepqui et
andbegsl eept ogr acemewi thit'
spr esence.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
IwokeupandMuz iwasst illasl
eep.Igoti nt
o
myni ghtgownandsl i
pper sandwentt ot
he
kit
chen.Iwasf eeli
ngr eal
lyhungr yandhada
deepcr avi
ngf orlastnight'
sdi nner.Iopenedt he
fri
dgeandt ooktheTupper war eout .Iopenedi t
andnauseai mmedi atelyhitme!Ir ant othe
toi
letandt hrewmygut sout.Icouldn'tstop
vomi t
ing.Iheldmyt ummyhopi ngt hatit
'l
lhel
p.
Iti
ght l
yshutmyey eswheni tstoppedhopi ng
thatithadst oppedforgood.Icoul df eel
his
footstepsandIy ell
ed" Don'tcomei nhere!"
Idi
dn'
twanthi
mtoseemei
nthatst
ate.
"Areyouokay?"Heaskedashekeptwalking.I
stoodupf r
om thef
loorandqui
ckl
ylockedt he
door.Isunkdownagainsti
tandbegancrying.
Hecameknocki ngandaskedmet oopent he
door.
"Goaway"Isai
dasIsobbed.Muzi
shoul
dn'
t
havegot
tenmepregnant.
"Babypl
easeopent
hedoor
"hesai
d.Ikept
quiet
.
"
Sthandwasami
?"Hecal
l
edout
.
"Sphakami
lepl
easedon'
tmakebr
eakt
hisdoor
open.Openthedoor
"
"
Baby!
"Hewasstarti
ngt
ogeti
rr
it
ated.Iknow
t
hist
onei
nhisvoice.
Igotupandunl
ockedi
t.It
henwenttothebasi
n
towashmyfaceandri
nsemymout h.
"
Areyouokay?"Heaskedashecamei n.I
wal
kedpasthim andwentt
ositonthebed.A
l
otofthi
ngswereannoyi
ngmeatt hi
spoint.
Whenisheleavi
nganyway?
Isatonthebedandt
ookmyphone.Hecamet
o
kneeli
nfrontof.
"
Mor
ningsi
ckness?
"Heasked.Inodded.
"Mymom didsayi
t'
sgonnahi
tyouatsome
poi
nt"hesai
d.
Il
ookedathi
mforamomentandt
henasked.
"
Whenar
eyoul
eav
ing?
"
"
Madoda!
"Hedi
dn'
texpectt
hatquest
ion.
Hest
oodupandsmi
l
ed.Ir
aisedmyey
esathi
m.
Hel
aughed.
"Whatareyoulaughingat?"Iasked.Heshook
hisheadandsaid"Nothing".Herepli
edashe
ki
ssedmyf oreheadandIcl osedmyey eswhi
le
play
ingwit
hthesof tbel
tofmygown.
Hethenknel tdownagai nandr emovedmy
handsfrom it,
pulli
ngitopent ogainaccessto
myt ummy .Het henkisseditandheldthesides
andsaid"Mbul azi
.Pleasehav emercyonmy
wif
e.Shedoesn' tdeserveanyoft hi
smyboy ".I
coul
dn'tholdbackmygi ggl
es.

UNEDITED. (I
t'
snotshor
t.Joi
nthegr
oup
togett
heful
li
nsert
)
I
nser
t62.

Hegotupf rom mytummywithasmil

ethat
slowlygotabsor
bedbytheat
mospher
eand
faded.
"
Babywher
e'sy
ourneckl
ace?
"Heasked.
"Il
ookedbehi
ndmeandsai
dit
'sont
he
pedestal
.
"
Cany
oul
i
stent
omef
oronce?
"
"It
ookitof
flastni
ghtbef
oremyshower .Iwas
goingt
oputitonafter
wards"Iexpl
ained.
"
Itmeansalottomewhenyouhavei
taround
y
ourneck.Igoti
tfory
ousoIgett
ofeel
closer
t
oy ou"
Cl
osert
ome?
"Idon'
tunder
standbaby"Iaskedandhesat
downnexttomeont heranthepal
msofboth
hishandsonhisface.
"Youwon'
tunder
stand.I
t'
sjustofhi
gh
senti
ment
alval
uetome"
Ifoundthissweetofhim.Ithenpromisedto
alwayshav ei
taroundmyneckasIgotupt ogo
putiton.Hedisplayeddeepdisappoi
ntmenti
n
thefactthatIwasn'
twearingit.
Iaskedhi
mt oputitonforme.Herai
sedhis
headtomeandgav emeaweaksmi l
e.Hegot
upbuthewasn'tenthusi
ast
icabouti
t.Af
terhe
wasdone,hetookmyhandsi nt
ohisandgaz ed
i
ntomyey es.
"Thembal amingi k't
handangeny ei ndlelanami
angsazi ukut
hi ngichazengi t
hinikodwa
nkosazananget hembemangi thiuy i
khokonke
kmi na.Umoyawami uzofalawenauf akhona.
Yingakhongingaf uni ungishonelekuqal angoba
ngekengi kwazi ukuqhubekangempi l
o
ngingenasoisizat husokuphi la.Ilovey ou.Okay?
"(Iloveyouinawayt hatImy selfcan'texplai
n
butt r
ustmewhenIsayy ou'r
eev erythingtome.
Myspi r
it
/soulwi
lldi
ewhereyoudi
e.That
'swhy
Idon'twantyoutodiebef
oremebecauseI
won'tbeabletoconti
nuewit
hli
fewit
houta
reasontoli
ve)
Hesai
dandIsmi
l
edwhi
l
enoddi
ng.
"Ar
et hesey ourv
owsMbul azi
?"Isai
dtohi
m
andgi ggled.Hel
aughedandsaid"Maybe"
.I
l
aughedt ooandaskedhi
mi fhehasalr
eady
wri
ttent hem.
"Nobaby.AndI'
m doi
ngnosucht hing.I
'
mj ust
goi
ngtospeakf r
om myheart.Idon'
tneedto
memorizehowmuchIl oveyou"hesaid.That
mademeal i
tt
leemoti
onal.
"Bhekababyneh?Idon' twantt ocont r
olyou.
ButIwanty outobeabl etolistentomeasy our
husband.Ivaluerespect.Ineedi t
.Youmi ght'
ve
noticedthi
sbynowbuty ourr especttowards
measy ourpart
nermeansal ottome.And
l
isteningtomei spartandpar celofthat"
Inodded.Hekissedmyforeheadandhi
sphone
rang.Hepickeditupf
rom t
hebedand
answered.
"
Yes?
"
"
What
?"
"
Yoursi
gnal
isv
erybadTl
hogi
angi
kuzwami
na"
Whyishecall
ingsoear
lyi
nthemorni
ng!
?
Tumi'
smereexist
encei
senoughf
ormet ocal
l
offt
hiswhol
ewedding.
"
Ohyeah.Don'
twor
ryaboutt
hat
.Mandl
aison
i
t"
"Eventheplay
li
st.I
'
llputi
ttoget
her"hesaidand
playf
ull
ypeggedmynosewi t
hhisfinger
s.Ihi
t
hishandandlaughedathisidi
omat i
cbull
yself
.
Hesmi ledandconti
nuedwithhisphonecalll
i
ke
hedidn'tj
usttr
ytocutmyoxy gensupply.
"
YeahI
'
m sur
eman"
"
Imeangi
rl
"
"
Yeywhat
every
ourgenderi
s.Yougetme"
Il
aughedoutl
oudast
heyendedt
hecal
l
.
"
Youshoul
dn'
tdot
hatbabyi
t'
srude"I
r
epr
imanded.
"
Dowhat
?"Heasked.
"Youshouldal
way saskwhatpr onounaqueer
personpref
ersprefer
st oavoi
dof f
endi
ngthem.
Somemi ghtevenseet hisasahomophobicred
fl
ag"
"Ahhmarababyy
ouknowI
'
m any
thi
ngbut
homophobi
c"
Hesai
dashesl
owl
yshookhi
shead.
"
Iknowbutdot
hey
?"
"Iguessyouhav eapoint.I'
l
lkeepthati
nmi nd"
.
Hesai dandkissedmyf orehead.Ihadmy
handsonhi sabsbutIsuddenl ygotpossessed
tosli
dethem downwar ds.Hecuppedmyf ace
andmademel ookathim.
"Uzokwaziukuy'
qedalent
oowuy i
qal
ayoMrs
me? "(Wil
lyoubeabletofi
nishwhat
every
ou'
re
star
ting?
)
Hesaidandbitisl
owerli
p,sti
l
llooki
ngdeep
i
ntomyey eswaiti
ngforananswer.Igi
ggled
andnodded.Helaughedandunexpectedl
y
pi
ckedupandl ai
dmedownont hebed,ki
ssing
andmumbl i
ngintomymout h.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*

Muzidrov
emehomeandpar kedhi
scar
out
sideofthey
ard.Wale'
s'OnChil
l'f
t.Jer
emi
h
wasplayi
ngontheradi
ointhecar.
"Ungi
bingel
elelekuma.Ican'
tcomein"hesai
d
ashekissedt hebackofmyhand.(
Greetmafor
me)
"
Why
?Idon'
twanty
out
ogo"Isai
dandsul
ked.
Hel aughedoutl oudandsaid" Mayi
ngaphel ale
9mont hsngingekasangani minaI'
l
ljustknow
thatI'
m strong.Notsol ongagoy ouwantedme
toleave"(i
fthis9mont hselapseswithmest il
l
sane..)hesaid.Stil
ll
aughing.
Il
aughedaswel
landhi
thi
sshoul
der
.
"Buthonest
lysthandwasami.Ineedtogo.
There'
sacoupleoft hi
ngsIneedtotakeof
beforetheweddingandbeforeIgotoFrance"
hestated.
"
France?
"It
urnedt
owar
dshi
m andasked.
"Idi
dn'
ttel
lyou?Ineedt
obei
nFr
anceont
he
8th"
"
That
'sl
i
keaweekaf
terourweddi
ng?
"
"I
'm sorrybabybutithast obedone.I've
managedt osecureadeal wit
har isi
ng
constructi
oncompanyt hatsi
de.IfIplaymy
cardsright,t
hiscouldbet hest
artofgl obal
recogniti
onforMal oCon"hesaidandIexhal ed.
"Wewil
lgoonourhoney
moonwhenIgetback
baby
"hepromi
sed.
"Can'
tyousendsomeone?"Isai
dasIputmy
headagainstt
heredl
eat
herseat.
"
Ican'
t.Ineedt
oseet
hist
hrough"
"
Andyoutel
lmenow?
"Isayandl
ookoutt
he
wi
ndow.
"
I'
m sor
rymommyi
tmust
'v
esl
i
ppedmymi
nd"
"Yousureit'
sjustbusi
ness?"Iaskedandlooked
athim st
raighti
ntheeyes.Ihadsuddenly
accumulated2bagsofbr avery
.
Hewasaboutt
ospeakwhenhi
sphoner
ang.
"
Nat
hiNi
ce"
"Ngi
ri
ght
.Ugr
andwena?
"
"
Bachel
orpar
ty?
"
"
Asi
khoi
sidi
ngosal
eyont
o"(
Ther
e'snoneedf
or
t
hat
)
"
ButI
'
m notabachel
ormusmi
na"
"
Jangi
yazi
kodwa.
..
"
Het
henl
aughedandsai
d"Ngi
thi
asi
khoI
sd.
."
"
Manqoba!
?"
Helookedatthescr
eenandshookhishead.
MQhaddr oppedthecal
l
.Hethenexhal
edand
l
ookedtowardsme
"I
sthisstil
laboutt
hetextIr
eceivedf
rom
Langeli
hle?"HeaskedandIlookedaway.
"I
fyout hi
nkI'
m goi
ngawaywithherthenyou'
re
welcomet ocomewi t
hme".Him say
ingthi
s
mademef eelst
upi
dlygui
lt
y.I
'
m notall
owing
thi
swomant ocomebetweenmeandmyman.I
exhaledandsaid"I
'
m sorr
y"
Heexhal
edaswel
l
.
"
Ididn'
taskhertosendmethatt
extbaby.The
l
astti
meIsawt hisper
sonwas5/6yearsago"
"
Youdon'
thav
etoexpl
ainy
our
sel
f.Your
act
ionsareresponsi
blef
ort
hat
.But
Muzikay
ise?
"
"
Yy.
..y
es?
"Hesai
d,skept
ical
l
y.
"
Ify
oucheatonme,
Iwi
l
lleav
eyouwankwa?
"
"
Loudandcl
earbaby
"hesai
dandnodded.
"Wi
thyourbaby,
getmarri
edtoanot
hermanand
movetoanothercount
rydoyouhearme?"I
sai
dandhisfacechanged.
"Ngi
yadl
ala"
(Iam ki
dding)Isai
dandlaughed.
Hescoff
edt hensmi
ledwhileshaki
nghishead,
star
ti
ngthecar.
"
Wat samaanou?"(
You'
rel
eav
ingnow?
)Iasked
whi
l
est i
ll
laughi
ng.
"Phumaemotweniyam baby"
(Getoutofmycar
baby)hesai
dwhil
elaughing
"Sorr
ysthandwasami hawu"Isai
d.Icoul
dn'
t
holdbackmyl aught
er.Hewasbeingababy
andIfoundithil
ari
ous.
"Uzoy
'hl
ikaisihambalemoto"(
You'
l
lgetofft
his
carwhil
ei t
'sontheroad)hesai
dwithhi
sone
handont hegearandt heot
heront
hesteeri
ng
wheel.
"Babyngit
hengiyaxol
i
sakodwayi
niMbulazi
?"(
I
saidI
'm sorr
y).Hesmil
edandl
aughedbefor
e
hecouldstophimself
.
"Sphakami l
e, awungiphumel i
kancanesisi
ngiyakcelangobangi j
ahil
e?"(
Pleasegetoutof
mycarabi tmysi sterbecauseI '
minahur ry
).
Hesai dandopenedt hepassengerdoorfrom
theinside.Iputmyhandov ermymout hbutI
j
ustcoul dn'tstoplaughingIevenhadt ear
s
comi ngoutofmyey es.Helookedatmeandbi t
hislowerlip,tryi
ngtoohar dtostophimself
from laughing.
Itr
iedtospeakbuthequi
ckl
yint
err
uptedand
sai
d" PHU-
MAboh!Nangusatan"(Getout
!
Here'
sadev i
l)
Ilaughedandsai
d"OkaycanIhav
eaki
ss
then?"
"
Uthi
ufunani
?"(
Whatdi
dyousayy
ouwant
?)
Herai
sedhi
sey
ebr
owwi
thacockysmi
l
eonhi
s
f
ace.
"
iKi
ssbaba"Il
owl
ysai
d.Shy
ly.Seduct
ivel
y.
"
Uyi
funakubani
?"(
Whodoy
ouwanti
tfr
om)
HesaidandIr
aisedmyheadtolookathi
m.He
fr
ownedasthoughhewasconfusedbymy
quest
ion.
"
Kumy
eni
wami
"(Fr
om myhusband)
Isai
dwit
hmyheadst i
l
l bowedt omyt
highs.He
l
aughedandsai
d"I
thathe"(Take)
Ilookedupandl aughed.Hewaswait
ingforme
tokisshim.Ileanedin,hel
dhi
schi
nandpecked
hisli
ps.Ithenretur
nedbacktomyseat.
"
'
Qedi
l
e?"(
Arey
oudone?
)
Heasked.Ismi
l
edandnodded.
"Musuk'
dl
alangami wenawozal a"
(Stopplay
ing
wit
hmecomeher e)hesai dandheleanedover
togi
vemeaFr enchki ss.Icoul
dn'
tstopsmil
ing
andgiggl
i
ng.Lord?Ilovet hi
sman!

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***

Igoti
ntot
hehouseandf
oundmymom wear i
ng
asil
kgownanddri
nki
ngj
uice.Herhai
rwasa
mess.
"
Arey
ouokay
?"Iasked.
Shecont
inuedgul
pingdownherj
uiceand
event
ual
l
yputtheglassdown.
"Whywouldn'
tIbe?
"Ibri
efl
yrol
ledmyeyes
whenshelookedawayandaskedherwhyshe
didn'
twantmehomey est
erday
.
"
Ijustf
eltl
i
kebei
ngbymy
sel
f"sher
epl
i
edand
wentovertothefr
idget
otakeoutapackof
malanafordefr
osti
ng.
"
Wenanah"Isaidandlookedather
.She
l
aughedandsai
d"Yes.Nnanah".Shecont
inued
wi
thherbusi
ness.
"Ar
eyouhonestl
yokaymama?
"Iasked.Iwas
genui
nel
yconcerned.
"I
'mf i
nebaby .Okaesonnyi nlaw?"Ilaughed
andtoldhert hathesaidIshouldgreetheron
hisbehalf.Wecont i
nuedt al
kingunti
l It
oldherI
needt oleavefortownf orcaketest
ingbef or
e
Tlhogiiski
nsmeal i
ve.Shethenexhal edand
said"Thepolicecalled",t
akingoutachai rfr
om
thetableandl azi
l
yt aki
ngaseat .
Isuddenl
yfel
tadar
kvi
besur
roundi
ngme.
"They
'veappar
entl
ymanagedt
omake3ar
rest
s.
They'
reonesuspectshor
t"
"
That
's.
..good.Iguess"
Shenoddedandt
hemoodsuddenl
ybecame
awkward.
"Yeah..uhm Ihavetoto"IsaidasIrushedt o
myr oom t ogofr
eshenupandchangei nt
o
comf ortabl
eclot
hes.Iheardloudlaughsfrom
thekitchenandTumi '
svoice."Gr
eat!He's
comingwi t
h!"

UNEDITED. (We'r
emovi
ngt
ot hebridal
showerandtheweddi
ngont
henextinsert )
I
nser
t63.

Wednesday

"Il
oveyou"
.Hesai dthati
mmediatelywhenI
openedmyey esbecauseIcoul
df eelhisey
es
l
ingeri
ngandhov er
ingoverme.Ismi l
eand
rel
easeali
ghtgiggle.
"
Thi
sisr
ude"
.Ir
epl
y.
Hef
rownsi
nconf
usi
onandsay
s"Yi
nier
ude?
"
"Wat chingpeopleast heysleep.It'
spartand
parcel ofwit
chcraft".Hel aughed,shookhis
headandsai d"IregretthedayIt aughtyouthat
".
Ishotoutal oudl aughterbecauseIcoul dal
so
feelthephrasescr eami ngoutforhelp.I'
vebeen
saying" par
tandpar cel"mor ethanthe
prescribeddosebyDrQueenEl izabeth.
Ithenrubbedmyeyesashet
ookhi
smacbook
fr
om thebedsi
detabl
e.
Il
ookedathi
m andasked"Babywhatdoesy
ou
companydoentl
ikdoent
li
k"
Hehuffedoutalightweightedlaughandsai
d"A
l
otofthings.Fr
om designingandconstr
ucti
ng
bui
ldi
ngsandbr i
dgest omanufacturi
ng
di
ff
erenttypesofbricks.
"
Hesai
dwi
thoutr
aisi
nghi
sey
esatme,
typi
ng.
"
Likehousesandst
uff
?"Ienqui
red
"Uhm.
.yeahbutthat'
sasmalldi
visi
on.We
mainl
yfocusonthingsli
kebl
ocksofoff
ices
andapart
ments.Mallsaswel
l.Wealsodesi
gn
andbuil
dmall
s"
Ilov
ehowhesay s"We"i
nsteadof"
I"to
acknowl
edgeallt
hepeopl
einvol
vedinget
ti
ng
theworkdone.
"
Int
erest
ing.
..
"Ir
espond.
"
Whatabouty
ou?Whatdoy
oudo?
"
"
Parti
esandbabyshower
s"Ir
espondedasI
t
urnedtotakemyphonef
rom t
hebedsidet
abl
e.
"
Justt
hat
?"Heasks.
"
Yeah"
"Youshouldexpandbaby .Maxi
mizeyour
profi
tsandcli
entele.Moneyi
stheref
oryout
o
coin.Takeadvantageofthat
"
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"
"Fi
rstl
y,Gal
adinner
sareathi
ngher
einGP.
Tlhogii
smilki
ngmebecauseofthi
swedding.
Whyar eyounotdoingt
hesametoother
s?"
Il
aughedatt
hisst
atementbyhi
m.
"
Doy
ouev
enhav
eawebsi
te?
"Headded.
"
Ionl
yoper
atef
rom FacebookandI
nst
agr
am.
I
'
vebeenmeani
ngtothough"
"Ngempel
a?"Heaskedwithsuspi
cion,
al
lowi
ng
hisey
estodropandhischint
oalmosthis
chest
.
Il
aughedandsai
d"Yeshawu"
"
Namanga.Come.Letmeshowy
ouhowt
o"
"
ButbabyIknowhowt
ocr
eat
eawebsi
temi
na"
"
Doy
ouhav
eawebsi
te?Heasked,
annoy
ed.
Il
aughedandshookmyhead.
"
Thenwoza.We'
renotget
ti
ngoutoft
hisr
oom
t
il
lyouhav
eawebsit
e"
Il
aughedhar
der
.Thi
sman!

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***
***
*

Thur
sday

"Mama?"Ianswer
edmyr
ingi
ngphoneasI
drov
e.
"
Okae?
"(Wher
ear
eyou?
)Sheasked.
"Kesal
emoJozi
.How'
sev
ery
thi
nggoi
ng
ther
e?"
"Ev
eryt
hingisfine.Everyonei
salr
eadyhere."
Sherepli
ed.Shesoundedexci t
edandagr eat
mood.Ihav en'
tfeltsuchener
gyfrom her
eina
whil
e.Itf
il
ledmyhear t
.
"
Alr
ight
.I'
l
lbet
her
etomor
rowmor
ning.Bai
e
f
rug.NowI
'
m dr
ivi
ngr
etl
abua"Ir
epor
ted.
"Al
ri
ghtbaby
.Besaf
emot
sel
eng.Il
ovey
ou"
shesai
d.
"IwillmaIlov eyoumor e".Isaidandcutt hecall
.
Iinstantl
yregrett
edi tbecauseshewasgoi ngto
hav emyheadf orl
unchf orthis.Shehast hi
s
rulethatsay s"i
fIam t heonewhocal ledyou,
thenI '
mt heonewho' ssupposedt oendthe
call.
"Icontinueddrivingunt i
lIgottothehot el
.
Tumi hadalreadytextedmet ell
ingmehe' d
arri
ved.Iopenedt hedoorandt heyall
screamed" Her ecomest hebr i
de"Ilaughedas
Thandocamet ohugme.
Tank's'Whenwe' wasplayi
ngloudlybutI
couldn'thearitf
rom thecorr
idor.Meaningyou
couldonl yhearthesoundwheny ouopenthe
door.'Thishotelroom i
sbig'
.Ithoughtto
my sel
fasIadmi redt
hedecorwhi chconsist
ed
ofblackandgol dhelium bal
loonssuspendedin
theair.Therewasal otofthem somucht hat
onecouldn'
tseeabitoftheceil
ingevenifthey
tr
ied.Tl
hogi
,Tumi,
Samor a,Thando,Bri
dgette
andAgneswer eal
l i
nsi
lkblackgownswi ththe
nameswr i
tt
enont hebackingold.Iwondered
whatwasbeneathallofthem.
Samor acameupt omewi thachampagne
glassi
nhi shandandsai d"Nownow, let'
sget
yououtoft hi
shorri
bledress"hepul l
edmeby
handasIl aughedwhilelookingatTumi and
Tlhogiwhower esit
ti
ngont hef l
oorhav ingwhat
l
ookedl ikeani nt
enseconv ersation.Wegott o
thebathr oom andhehandedmear edst r
ing
number .Ther ewasli
terall
ynot hingtot hat
underwear .Justasetofst r
ingst hatinsistedon
mebei ngnaked.
"Where'
sthebra?Heaskedasheper used
thr
oughthepaperbag.Ishruggedandhesai
d
"Putt
hatoninthemeant i
me.Hewentoutand
camebackwi t
hsoIputiton.
"
Youknowy
ou'
regonnahav
etot
aket
hatof
fat
somepointri
ght?
"Hesai
d,r
efer
ri
ngt
othe
gownbutlooki
ngatmybump.
"
DoIhav
eto?
"Iasked.
"
Yeahy
oudo.Theydon'
tknowy
ou'
rebaki
ng?
"
"
Nope"Ir
epor
ted.
"Don'tworrythen.Igoty
ou"Il
aughed,lowly
saidthanky ouandhuggedhim amidstall
the
noisylaughswecoul dhearf
rom t
hebedr oom.

"Thesesl
i
pper
saresocomfort
abl
e"Isai
dto
him aswewal
kedouthandi
nhand.
"
Andsocut
e!"Hesai
d.
"Don'
tgettoocomfor
tabl
ewenaSamorathati
s
MYbest f
ri
end"Tumishout
edfrom t
hecar
pet
andgulpeddownhisredwine.
Il
aughed.
"
Ify
ouwer
enotsonegl
i
genty
ouwoul
d'
veseen
herwal
ki
ngi
nher
e"
"Nekesalebusy"(Iwasstil
lbusy)hesaidashe
gotupt ohugme.Samor awentov ertowhisper
somethingt oTl
hogi.Weightl
essconv er
sati
ons
andgreetingsfl
oatedaroundinther oom t
il
l
EnhleandGuguwal kedi
n.
"PHOYISA!"Enhl
escreamedast heywal
kedin
andeveryonelaughed.Mabuyihadtwopacks
ofBerni
niinherhandswhenshecameov ert
o
hugmewi t
houtputti
ngthem down.
"
Uri
ght
?"(
Arey
ouokay
?)Sheasked.
"
I'
mfinet
hanks"Isai
daswebot
hresi
gned
f
rom t
hehug.
"Ng'
buzephel
a"shesai
dasImindl
essl
yhugged
Enhl
ewhowasal soanxi
oust
ogettowhere
ever
yonewas.
Il
aughedandsaid"I'
m aksssing"
.Shelaughed
andsaid"Yourmother
-i
n-l
awbekaf unaukuzala
naye"
(.
..wantedt
ocomeher easwell)
.Webot h
l
aughed.
"
Whydidn'
tyoul
ether
?"Iaskedwhi
l
est
il
l
l
aughi
ng.
"Yhuuhaahshewasgoi ngtobei t
uncomf ortableforust oletloose"shesai das
wewal kedov ertot hemi ni f
ridgesoshecoul d
packupher" stuff"
.Shef oundi tful
land
draggedamet albucketandut i
li
zedthat
i
nstead.Sher i
ppedt heicepackandof floaded
i
tintothebucket .Wecont i
nuedt al
king.We
thenhear daknockont hedoorandEnhl e,who
wasal r
eadyi nhergown, sai
d" I'
l
lgetit".She
openedt hedoorandi twasr oom servicewi t
ha
l
otofpl att
ers.
Mabuy i
thenexcit
edl
ysaid"Letmegoget
changedsowecangett hispart
yst
art
ed".My
phonebeepedinmyhandandIopenedt hetext
asshewal kedaway.
"
Don'
tmar
ryhi
m.Don'
tmar
ryMK"

Atextfrom t
hesamenumbert hattext
edme
theothermorning.Whoist
hisandwhyar ethey
soadamantt hatIshoul
dn'
tmarryMuzikayi
se?
Iwalkedint
ot hebalconyandclosedt hedoor.
Nobodynoticedbecauseev ery
onewasbusy
wit
hei t
hersetti
ngupt hefood,t
heal coholor
fal
l
inginlove.Ical
ledhim anditrang.
"
Ngi
zengi
k'
lande?
"(Shoul
dIcomef
etchy
ou?
)
Thati st
hefi
rstt
hinghesaidwhenheanswered
thephone.Il
aughed.Hedidntwantmeto
attendmyshowerbecausehewasconv i
nced
they'dbest
ri
ppers.
"
Nobaby.I
'
mjust
..
.ar
eyouokay
?Wher
ear
e
y
ou?
"Iasked.
"I
'
m okaymyl
ove.Yougood?I
'
m atsomebar
noMQnamaji
ta"
Hewasinagoodmood.I
tsoundedl
i
kei
t.I
wasn'
taboutt
orui
nit
.
"I
'
mf ine.Iwasj
ustchecki
ngonyou"Isai
d,
digr
essingfr
om t
hetrueint
ent
ionofthephone
call
.
"I
shokahleut
hi uy
angikhumbul
auyekel'
ukshonalenalengathiuyi
exenamahlonikodw
i
funamalovebacks"(
Tellmeyoumissmeand
stopbeat
ingaroundthebushli
keashyex
l
ookingtobetakenback"
Il
aughed.Har
d.Hesoundedabi
tdr
unk.
"Mci
i
m Ihopey
ou'
renotgoi
ngt
obedr
ivi
ng
home"
"BabyIcandri
vewi
thmyey escl
osedwhat
'sa
bitofal
cohol
?"Hear
rogant
lyasked.
"
Saysaper
sonwhowasi
nacaracci
denta
whi
l
eago"
Ir
esponded.
"
Ng'
fi
ley
in?
"(Am Idead?
)Heasked.
Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
augh.
"
Nobuti
f.
."
"No.Myquesti
onis,di
dIdi
ethough?
"Hewas
seri
ousandexpecti
ngananswer.
"
Pleasedon'
tdr
ivehomengi
yakcel
a?"
"I
'
m ki
ddi
ngmylov
e.Iwon'
t.JoeisaBavar
ian
sohe'
sgoi
ngt
obeourUberf ort
oni
ght
"
"
Promi
se?
"Iasked.
"
Ngi
yak'
thembi
samommy
"heaf
fi
rmed.
DVSN's'
Hal
l
uci
nat
ions'
star
tedpl
ayi
ngandhe
hear
dit.
"I
shsthandwasami.Thatsongneedsyouon
some'Chestdowna* *up'wit
hmyhandson
yourwaist
,onyoursoftski
n"Heseducti
vel
y
sai
d.
Ii
mmedi
atel
yfel
tst
rongbut
ter
fl
iesr
eckl
essl
y
f
loat
ingi
nmyst
omach.
"
Whyar
eyoudoi
ngt
his?
"Icr
iedout
.
Hel aughedandsaid"ByeMr sK"andcutt
he
call
.Muzi i
sevil
.Tlhogiopenedt
hedoorand
said"Thereyouare!Etl
amosadi".Hesai
d
draggedmeout .
"Wherehavey
oubeen?"Mabuy
iaskedasshe
tookabit
eonherdunkedwi
ngwhilescr
oll
i
ng
onherphone.
Il
aughedandt
akeaseatont
hecar
pet
.
"Ther
e'spr
awnsfr
iend"Tumi
say
sbecausehe
knowsIlovet
hem.
Enhlehandsmeachampagnegl
assandIopen
mymout htry
ingt
odi
sput
ebutTlhogi
savedme
i
nstead.
Hetooktheglassandsaid"
Nobrideofminei
s
havi
ngalcoholbef
oretheweddi
ng.Weneed
thi
sski
nt oglowtothemax"hesaidashe
dr
anki
tupal
latonceandputi
tdown.
"Wazewastr
ictboh!
"Enhl
esaidandhelaughed
andsai
d"Ofcourse!
"andthr
ewawi nkatme
whenever
yonehadmov edon.
"Haiboguy sy al
lar
ewi l
d"Enhlesai das
bri
dgetteexpl ai
nedhowt oper form aBJusi ng
honeyandgr apefr
uit
.TlhogiandTumi agreed
withher.Theconv ersat
iongotheat edwi t
h
demonst r
ationsandal l
.Bridgettegotupand
catwalkedov ertothestri
ppol e.Shewas
alr
eadydr unk.
Samorasai
d"Yessssssssssssgi
rl
!"Weal
l
l
aughedathi
m employinghimsel
fasahype
man."I
zabout
stoget sli
tt
y"
Tumi
added.
"
Valaamehl
owena".Enhl
esai
dtoThando.She
l
aughedandsai
d"Haibo!
"
UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t64.

"Betsokhaz'
aphanontombi "
(comeher e)
-I
l
aughedandshookmyheadi nsof tdisapproval
.
Bri
dget t
esai
dasshet ookoffhersil
kgown
reveali
ngherli
ttl
erednumber ,al
lowingher
everycurvet
obeexposed.Shehasabeaut if
ul
body .Sheat
tempt st
ocl i
mbt othetopoft he
polewi t
hcheersthati
mmedi atelycamet oa
haltwhenshef el
landhitherheadont hecarpet.
"Ohmyf ancyGodBr eearey ouokay !
?"-Tumi
saysasheput shi
shumongouswi negl ass
downsohecangetupandat t
endt oher .Att
his
point,everyonehadtheirheart
sbeat i
ngoutof
theirchestsbecauseshewasn' tshowi ngany
signsofconsci ousness.Weal lgotupand
Enhler ushedt oher
.Shefeltherpulseby
placingtwof inger
sagainstherneck.
"I
sshebr
eat
hing?
"Agnesaskeddr
ippi
ngi
na
daze.
Enhl
eshr
uggedasshefidgetedherf
inger
s
somemoretolocat
eherpulse.
"Icanfeel
herpulsesowest
il
lhav
eti
me.Let
'
s
gethertothehospit
al!
"
"Uhm..Hel l
o?Yes!Uhm. .ther
e'sadrunk
unconsciouswomanl y
inghe...
"Thandowas
aboutt of
inishhersentencewhenBr i
dgett
e
explodedinf i
tsofl
aughter.Weallsl
owlygotup
from thefl
oorandglaredather.Shecouldn'
t
stoplaughing.
Enhleplacedherlit
tl
ebarefootwithredtoenai
ls
onherpr i
vatesandt ol
dherthatsheshouldn't
playli
kethat.Bri
dgettewasstil
lcracki
ngher
l
ungswi thlaughterwhenshet r
iedtoremov e
thefootthatwasbusypr essi
ngont oher
l
ady bi
ts.
"
Arey
oubei
ngf
***
ngser
iousr
ightnow?
"
Thandoexcl
aimed.Shewasn'
ti
mpr
essed.
"She'
sfi
nenowt
hanky
ou"Shesai
dandcutt
he
call
.
Wet
henal
lbr
okeouti
nlaught
er.
"Ost
laelamosonokewena"
(You'
reani
diot
).
Tumi barkedather
.
"
Whatdidyoudothatf
orvel
e?"Agnesasked
wi
thherhandsonherwai
st.
Bri
dget
tegotupfr
om t
hefloorandf
inal
l
ypul
l
ed
herl
aughi
ngselft
oget
her
.
"Ididittoaddsomespi cet othemood.Ni
seriousgqcit
hinani.Bekf unekaumnt u
anishukumisekanci nciman. "(
Youal lweretoo
seriousformyl i
ki
ng.Ther ewasaneedf orme
toshakey all
upabi t )sheexplainedasshet ook
herchampagnegl assf rom thetableanddr ank
up.Bey once'
s'Dancef ory ou'start
edpl ayi
ng.
Shehel dherhandsupasi findeepwor shi
pand
said"Myj am!Dong. .
.dongdong. .
.Ijustwanna..
showy ouhowmuchIappr (burps)eciateyou.
Yes!Showy ou..
."shesangasshecar ef
ull
y
placedherhandsbackont hesmoot hmet all
i
c
pole.Mabuy ithenimmedi atelysaid" Nope!
Nope!Youar enotgoingbackt her
e" .Shesaid
asheuncl i
ppedbot hherhandsf rom t hepole
withurgencyandpul l
edherbackt ot hebed.
Ther estofuscoul dn'
tstopl aughi
ng.
Bridgettewasnowl aughingl i
keamadwoman
i
ndi sbeliefthatshehadact ual l
ymanagedt o
escapef rom anasy lum.Enhl eimmedi ately
wenti ntoherwhi teovernightbagwi thr osegold
stri
pesandt ookoutaboxofmedi cat i
on.She
poppedoutasi ngl
epillandt ookachampagne
glasst oplaceitthere.Shet henpour edsome
champagneandst ir
red.Shehandedt hegl ass
toSamor asohecoul dpassi ttoMabuy i who
wassupposedt ogiveittoBr idget
te.Theygav e
i
tt oherandshegul pedi tdown.2mi nut eswas
enoughf orhertobeoutofi t.
"Doessheal
way
sgetl
i
ket
his?
"Agnesaskedi
n
concer
n.
"Yup!I
fshehasonetomany.Mandl
aalways
hastodrugherbef
orehecancar
ryheroutof
anyclub"
Wealll
aughedbef
oreTumicoul
dint
erj
ectt
o
say"
She'
sav i
beandahalf
"
Lightl
aughterconti
nuedf
loat
ingar
oundinthe
room.Enhlesunkdownont hebedandtooka
sipofherwhitewine.
"Ar
eyouevensupposedt
obedr
inki
ngwena?
"
Samoraasks.
"Ali
tt
leal
coholhasneverki
l
ledanybaby
"she
nonchal
antl
yrepl
ied.
"Ev
erhear
dofFAS"Thandoaskedassher
aised
herey
esfrom herphonescr
een.
"Whatint
heunder
groundmanur
eist
hat
?"
Tlhogi
enqui
redi
nshock.
"
Foet
alAl
cohol
i
cSy
ndr
ome"Thandoexpands.
"St
opworr
ying.I
'
m anur
seremember?"Enhl
e
sai
dassheindul
gedonanothersi
p.
"Okaynurse"Thandosay sandshet hrowsher
phoneont hebedandweal lseethatshehas
diall
edMQ'snumber ,otherwi
sesav edas"Bhut'
Nice"wit
har edheartemoj i
.Enhlei
mmedi atel
y
pressedthe'Endcal
l'buttonrepeat
edlyina
frenzyt
il
lThando'swallpaperappeared.
Wewereall
laughi
ngatherasshest
oodupt
o
gospi
l
lthewineinthebat
hroom.
"Mpi
mpi ndi
n"(
You'
resuchasni
tch)she
excl
aimstoThando.
MabuyigotupandplacedBri
dget
tecar
eful
l
yon
t
hepill
owssinceshewassleepi
ngonher
t
highs.
"
Ihav
eaquest
ionguy
s"Tl
hogi
cal
l
edout
.
"
We'
rel
i
steni
ng"cameoutf
rom di
ff
erentv
oices
i
nthei
rrespect
ive,
var
yingl
anguages.
"Howareyoutwoabletoshar
eamanandst i
ll
beabletobesocivi
lwit
honeanother
?"Samor
a
askedashisBer
ninibot
tl
edancedbet
ween
MabuyiandI.
Ifoundthi
squest i
onawkward.Mabuyil
aughed
andsaid"Itdependsontheki
ndofmany ou
share.Anybornleadercanmanagetoachi
eve
thi
sbetweent wowomen.RightBetso?
"
"
Amenkul
eyondawo"Iadded.
"Don'
tli
e.Youwer
eseriousl
ynotmadabout
shari
ngsuchameal?
"Tumi askedst
ari
ngat
Mabuy i
.Hehasal
wayswonder edhowshe'
snot
thr
owingtant
rumsal
lthetime.
"I
'
m notgonnalieandsayIwashappyabouti t
becauseIwasn'tbutIwasexpectingi
t.I
tisst
il
l
noteasybutwear ebothgett
ingthehang
aroundit
.Hopefull
ywe'l
lgetther
e".Welooked
eyesforasecondandIf el
tsomewar mth
r
adi
ati
ngf
rom her
s.
"O-kay!Thi si
sget ti
ngt ooseriousf ormyl iki
ng.
Let'stalkaboutsomet hingelseshal lwe?Ev en
Peppapi gisfine"Agnesshout edoutanddr ank
someofherv odka.Shewasal sosecondsaway
from beingt i
psy .Idon'tthi
nkIst il
lhav e
bridesmai ds.Ithoughtt omy selfast hey
cont i
nuedget tingmor eandmor ecr azy.The
conv ersati
onendedupf all
i
ngi ntoadi tchof
whol ay sthepi pebetterbetweenZul u,Tsonga,
Pedi andXhosamen.Ii mmedi atel
ysi gneda
form ofzer ointentionforanypar t
ici
pation.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
**

"Arey
engboMi ckyMouse!Tsogang!
"Mymom
shoutedandmulti
pli
edthenoiset
hatwas
alr
eadyfi
ll
ingt
hehouseassistedbypot
seit
her
bei
ngtakendownorget
ti
ngwashedandt
he
weddi
ngsongsthatwer
ebei
ngplay
edout
side.
"Wenagapeaot sebeselokagohl abakgomo.
Sewabonakaekgomoehl abaengwe
mot swala?"(
Youknownot hingabout
slaughteri
ngcows.Wher ehav eyoueverseena
cowsl aughteri
nganotherdearcousin?)
That
shouldbemyuncl eri
dicul
ingmyot heruncle
l
ikeheal waysdoes.Icanheart henoisefrom
outside,makingmewi shthatthewedding
couldendbef oreitev
enst art
s.
Mymom madeherwayoutt ogoattendto
whatev
ershewasbeingcal
ledf
orintheki
tchen.
Thi
swasaf t
ershepul
ledt
heduvetoffofme
andTumibytheway.
"
Myheadhurt
sfr
iend"Hecri
edoutasheput
t
wofinger
sonhi
stemples.Hel
ookedl
ikehel
l
war
medup.
"
Didy
ouhav
etodr
inkt
hatmuchl
ewena?
"I
l
aughedasIasked.
"Youwer eexpecti
ngmet osaynotofree
alcohol?Sozemntakabawo"Hesaidimit
ated
Bridgett
e.Hehasf al
l
eninlovewi
thherandI'
m
abi tj
ealousathowcuteiti
stowatch.
"Wel ll
ookaty ounow?Tekat ekaking, crustyand
shii"Isai
dtohi m asIlookedhimi nt heey ewi
th
myheadpl acedonr ighthand.Hel aughedout
l
oudandsai d" Mgwet "
.Iexplodedi nf i
tsof
l
aught erbeforemyphonecoul dinterject.I
threwmyey est othescreenwhichr epor ted
thatMuzi wascal l
ing.Thatwasenought o
wident healreadyexisti
ngsmi l
eonmyf ace.

Mymot herwalkedinwithaheapofsheet sso

bi
gthattheywer eobscuri
ngherhead.She
dr
oppedt hem onthebedandsai d"Tsogang
bl
oodyblaksem Ineedtocleanthisroom.Your
i
nlawsar egoi
ngt obeheresoon"
Shesaidasshewenttowar
dst
hewi
ndowt
o
takedownthecur
tai
ns.
"They
'r
esleepi
nghere?"
,Tumi
andI
simul
taneousl
yasked.
"Evely
nandherdaughter.Themenwil
lbe
sleepi
ngatProt
eahotel.Kesebampolel
l
etseng
sone"(That
swhatI
'vebeent ol
d)
"Nnatshwanet
sekerobal
ekae?"(
Andwher
eam
Isupposedtosl
eep?
).IaskedasIhungmy
handwithmyphoneintheair
.
"Or
il
eobat
lagonyal
waakernnake?
"(You'
ret
he
onewhowantedt
ogetmarri
edmysi ster
)
Tumi laughedashesl i
dintohissl
ipper
sand
tookhistoil
etrybag.Mymot herpull
edmy
makeupchai rtothewindowtohelpherwit
ha
heightextensi
on.
"Tl
okagar
teneeosoyoucanbeachildIcanbe
proudt
ocal
lmine"(
Bri
ngthatcur
tai
nhere..
)
Il
aughedasIgotoutofbedandfixedmy
pyj
amashor twhi
chhadroll
edsomuchi t
would'
vebeeneasil
ymist
akenforag-st
ri
p
madeoutofat hi
ckrope.
Ihel
dont oi
tasIwai
tedforhert
ofi
nish
unhooki
ngtheot
herone.
"Onshebil
eenglemahlo?"(
Whatar
ey ourbi
g
eyesl
ookingat?)
.Shebri
efl
ytookagl
anceat
meandbr oughtherey
estowhereherhands
wereextendedontherai
l
.
Il
aughedandsai
d"Nex.Iwasjustworr
ied
about
.Youlookl
i
keyou'r
einabet t
ermood".
Sheexhal
edandsai
d"Well.
."
,pause.
"
Itooky
ouradv
ice.Tl
i
sa"(
Bri
ng)
Ihandedherthecur
tai
n."
Myadvi
ce?"Iasked
asmyheadsuccumbedt oasi
ngl
eturnforced
bycuri
osi
ty.
"
Igotmy
sel
fat
her
api
st"
IdroppedmyjawinwhatIcoul
dn'
texpl
ainas
shockorexci
tement
.
"
Closeyourcut
emout
hbef
oreaf
lyl
andson
t
hattongue"
Il
aughed.
"I
'
m happyyoufinal
l
ydiditmama!
"Isai
dasI
hurr
iedl
yhuggedherfeet
.
"Kewef ela,ot
lar
epitsakespotwanakeago
botsa"(ShouldIfal
lfrom her
,you'
ll
start
referr
ingtoabigpotasasmal lpot
(di
rect
transl
ation)
)
Iexpl
odedinl
aughter
,for
cinghert
orel
easethe
oneshe'
swasi nt
endi
ngtohide.It
henwent
overt
ositonthebed.
"
Mama?
"Ical
l
edout
"Yesbaby?"Sheansweredwit
houtlooki
ngback
atme,cli
ppingonthecurt
ainhookswithonei
n
hermouth.
"
Thanky
ou"
"Forwhat
?"Sheaskedi
nwarpedspeech
hinder
edbythewhit
epl
ast
ichookinhermout
h.
"Forneverevenoncemaki ngmef eelli
keIdon't
haveamot her.Forlovi
ngmeasy ourown
daughter.I
tmust 'v
ebeenhar dbur
yingthechil
d
yougav ebirt
ht obutIam proudofthesteps
you'r
etakingtodeal wi
thi
t."
Herfacesoft
enedassheall
owedherhandsto
dropwit
hthecurt
ainint
hem.Shegotdown
fr
om thechai
ramomentl at
erandsai
d"Tlo
kwano"(
Comeher e)
Iwentovert
oherandsheputherhandonmy
head,
lay
ingmeonherbreast
s.
"
DoyouknowwhyIgav
eyout
hename
'
Remof
il
we?'"
Sheasked.Ishookmyhead.
"
Remof
il
wekeModi
mo(
Shewasgi
vent
ousby
God) Thatisy ourful
l name.Igav ey outhis
namebecauseGodmadesur ethati ntheplace
ofthehal fofmyhear tthatIhadt obur y,heput
somet hingback.Andt hatisyou.Idonotl ove
youlikey ouar emyowndaught er.Ilovey ou
becausey ouAREmyowndaught er.Ifyouwer e
l
isteninginbi ologyclassandnotwast i
ngmy
school feesmoney .
."shesaidandIl aughedasI
wipedmyt earsbecauseherwor dshadev ery
i
ntent i
onofmaki ngmeemot ional.
"Youwouldknowt hatyourmot herandIwer e
i
niti
all
ymeantt obeoneper son.Wej ust
happenedtodividebecauseGodf eltitwouldbe
bett
erforustoexistasduplicat
es.Ev enyou
can'
ttell
thediff
erencebetweenherandIf r
om
ourpict
ures.Thatshoul
dt el
lyousomet hing"
Ismil
edandhuggedhert
ight
er.Shehuggedme
backandpl
ayedwit
hmyhai r
.
"Somydadnevercamebackl
ookingf
orme
agai
n?"Isai
dasIdiv
edi
ntoacrocodi
l
einf
est
ed
r
iver
.
"Othabil
ethat a.Gobotokaoyegoja"(You're
overj
oyed.It'
sbet t
eryougoandeat )
.Shesai d
assheletgoofmeandwentbackt ohandling
herbusinesswi thherroyal
bluecur
tain,which
matchesbot ht hebeddingandthestandardfi
t
forhervisi
tors.

*
***
***
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***
***
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***
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*
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"123ay eye!!Ji
ka!!"IcouldherTumi andt herest
makingnoi seoutsideast heypract
icedt he
weddingst epdance.Mycousi nsandot hermen
whoar riv
edi nawhi t
ev anwer eset
tingupt he
tent,
laughi ngtheirheadsof fatwhateversill
y
topi
cst heydeci dedt odiscuss.Ret
habile
budgedi ntomymot her'
sroom andi mmedi atel
y
said"Mzal a!!
"
Il
aughedandgotupt
ohugher
.
"Osharp?"Sheaskedasshet hrewherhands
aroundme.Shesmel tofwhatmynostri
ls
i
mmedi atel
ypickedupt obeaman'scol ogne.
Shewaswear inga'spoti'
andagrey,shortbody
huggingdresscoupledwithbl
ackpumps.
Shet henwipedhersweatf r
om herf acewi t
h
herhands,heldherwai standsai d"Kelapile
okar rmpyayakamonextdoor .Whyeot i
l
esol e
yona? "(
I'
mt i
redli
key ourneighbour'sdog.Why
i
sitev ensothin?)Shewasgenui nel
yexpect i
ng
met oknowandt hereforeanswert owhyt he
neighbor'
sdogi ssot hin.Il
aughedoutl oudand
shruggedasshepl acedherwor noutbrown
l
eat herbagont hebedandt ookoutabot tl
eof
Gordon'sandt ookagul p,aftershegotseated
ont hebed.
"Banabakae?"(
Whereareyourki
ds?)Iasked
asImarvel
ledatthear
ri
val
ofmyf av
our i
te
cousi
n.
"Omongweoshet segabot at
ageomongwe
okantl
elemamago.Kebar ataniaker
watseba?"
(Oneisatherdad'sandtheotheri
s
outsi
dewithyourmom.Youknowt heyare
l
overs.
"Shesaidasshet ookoffhershoes.
Her'spoti
'wasnextandshei mmediatel
ysai
d
"Mzalaswanetseodiresomet hi
ngaboutmy
hai
r.Nkaseyelenyal
ongjeleso"(
Youhavetodo
somet hi
ngaboutmyhai r
.(Ican'
tat
tendthe
weddinglooki
ngli
ket hi
s)
Il
aughedandsai d"Ket
lagof
awig.Tumiotlago
l
ogadi l
inekagorennaakekgonegologaaker
watseba"(
I'
ll
giv
ey ourawig.Tumiwil
lpl
aityour
cor
nrowsbecausey ouknowIcan't
)
Shejumpedouti nahugt hatal
mostl andedme
onthefloorandIlaughed.Myphoner angasI
wasaboutt otel
lRethatoletmego.Shesaw
thati
twasMuzi calli
ngandsmi l
ed.Shet hen
tookherbottl
eandgotout .Shestoodatt he
door,t
ookasi pandthenclosedit
.Ilaughed
bef
oreIanswer
ed.
"
Baby
?"
"Thambol
am l
eKentucky
.Unj
ani
?(MyKent
ucky
bone.Howareyou?
)
Il
aughedathowIwasbei
ngaddr
essed.
"What'
snext ?Sweetl
akhol omkhuhlwane? "He
l
aughedt ooandsaid"Nahumkhuhl waney i
zinto
zabafanaabancan.Uy i
khambi l
am leEbola
wena.Izi
ntoeziseri
ous.Lifethr
eateningthings.
ICUtypav i
bes"(
Nahfluisadiseasef orsmal l
boys.You'r
emymedi cine/herbforEbola.
Seri
ousthings.ICUtypavibes)
Iexpl
odedi
nfi
tsoflaught
er.Iam get
ti
ng
marri
edtoani
diot
!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t65.
"Thi
s..
"Hesai
dandpeckedmeonmyli
pswi
th
hishandssof
tl
ypl
acedonmywaist
.
"
..
.isforthefactt
hatyou'
renowoff
ici
all
yMrs
Muzikayi
seKhumal o"
.Il
aughedandbl
ushedat
t
hesamet i
me.
"
This.
..
"Hepeckedmyl i
psfort
hesecondasI
wai
tedfort
hebrief
ingontheki
ss,
looki
nghim
i
ntheeye.
".
..i
sfort
hecompr omisey oumadewhenI
askednottochangemyr ing.
"Hesai
dand
gazedint
omyey es.Isensedalotgr
ati
tudei
n
hi
s.
"
Madl aminii
salr
eadybendi
ngoverbackwards
t
oav oidanyunnecessar
yfi
ght
s.Thi
swast he
l
eastIcoulddo"
Irepl
yandfixhi
scollar
.Hehadl oosenedhisti
e.
AsightIcoul
dtradealotfor,al
ongwithseeing
him wi
thafreshhair
cut.I
talwaysdoesthings
tome.Itwasalreadydarkanditdidn'
tl
ooklike
anybodywasprepar
edtol
eave.Theyar
dwas
sti
l
lful
lasift
heweddingwasonlyst
art
ing.
Muzi andIwer estandi
ngagainstmycar
outsideofthey ar
dbecausemycousi nwas
usi
ngi twhenhewasbei ngsentaroundbymy
mot her.OrshouldIsayhewasst anding
againstitandIagainsthi
m?
"Arey ouhappy ?Orshoul
dIgeta40%r ef
und
from Tlhogi?
",heaskedandIshotoutalaugh,
placingmyheadont hetopofhi
sshir
tlayi
ng
ov erhisshoulder
.
"I
'
mv erymuchcont
entMrKngi
yabongababa"
.
Ianswered.
"Kwakuhl
eke.Kodwami naangi
j
abul
e"(
That
'
s
good.ButI
'm nothappy
).Hesai
d.
"Yi
niinki
nga?"(
Whatistheprobl
em? )
Iaskedas
Ili
ghtl
yranmyt humboverhischin,brushinghis
beard.Onlyt
hendidIr
eali
sehowbr eatht
aki ng
andwel l
donemynudenai l
swer e.Everything
aboutt hisweddi ngwasper fect .Icoul dn'tf
ault
i
tf r
om anyangl e.Iwaspr ayingt hatt heone
thatwoul dtakepl acethenextdaywoul ddel
iv
er
thesamesat i
sfact i
on.I tf
eltlikeIwashav i
ng2
diff
erentweddi ngsi nonebecauset odayIwor e
mywhi tegownandt het swanaat tirebecause
myuncl einsistedoni t.Alotoft hings
apparent lyhappenedwhenmyst epf atherhad
toofficiatemebei nghi sdaught ert raditi
onal
ly.
Otherwi seIwoul d'
vehadapedi weddi ng.I
apparent lywasn' tevensupposedt ogetmar ri
ed
atmymot her'shousebutknowi ngher ,
hell
wouldhav et ofreezeanddef rosti nsl ow
mot i
onf orthatt ooccur.
"Baby
!?",
Hesaidandthati
mmediat
elybr
ought
mebackt oear
th.Iwasdaydr
eaminginhi
s
arms.
"
Hm?
",Ishookmyheadandsai
d.
"
Ngithungi
qedel
aintshebengal
omunwe
wakho"(
You'
resheddingmybeardwi
tht
his
f
ingerofy
our
s)
Il
aughedoutl
oudandsai
d"Hai
bo!
"
"Ngi
yadlal
a.YouknowhowmuchIenjoyhav
ing
youdothistomeIjustwant
edt
ocatchyour
att
enti
on."
"Iknow.Whatdi
dyousaywast
hepr
obl
em?
",I
asked.
"Ngif
unaudlul
elomshadongi zokwaziukudla
i
y '
shebozamimina.Idon'
tevenunderstand
whywehav et
otravel
indif
ferentcar
sit'
skill
ing
me.Thet hi
ngsIwoulddotoy oura**inthat
backseat?Lor
dhavemer cy"
,hesaidandbi this
l
owerl i
p.
Ilaughedathi
sfaci
alexpr
essi
onwhenhesai
d
this.
"Ial
sodon'tunder
standwhyt heel
derswoul
d
dothis"
.Isaidandsulked,
placi
ngmyheadon
hischestandwrappingmyar msaroundhi
m.
"
Let'
sbookafl
ightandf
lee?
",hesaiditl
i
kehe
j
usthadali
ght
bulbmoment.Ilaughed.
"Mciim st
opbei
ngsi
l
ly"
.Helaughedbackand
placedakissonmyfor
ehead.
"Il
oveyousomuchMKy ouhav
enoi dea.Idon'
t
thi
nkther
e'sev
ergoi
ngt
obeany t
hingthat
breaksusapar
t.
"
Isai
dandt
ight
enedt
hehugar
oundhi
m.
"I
st hi
saglimpseofy ourvowsmywi f
e?"He
cuppedmychi nsohecanr ai
semyheadf orme
tolookathim.Heaskedt hisbecausethe
weddingatmyhousewasf ul
lyunderthelead
ofthepastor.I
ncludi
ngthev owswhichwer ea
"Sayafterme".Muz i
isnotaChr i
sti
anbuthe
respectedmywi shtohaveawhi tewedding.
"
Noi
t'
snot
.I'
mjustsayi
ng.Peoplecanthr
eat
en
met
ohel
landbackbutI'
m neverl
eav.
."
"
Wait
..what?Hehel
dmyshoul
dersandpushed
meback,l
ocki
nghisey
esi
ntomine.Thatwasa
completesl
i
pup.Imeantt
otell
him aboutthi
s
aft
ertheweddi
ngbutmytonguejustcoul
dn't
wait
.
"
Who'
sthr
eat
eni
ngy
ouSphakami
l
e?"
"
NooneI
'
mjust
..
."
"
Ngi
theningamanga?"(
WhatdidIsayabout
l
i
es?)Hesaidandtensedhi
sbrow.Theregoes
t
henewlywedmoodf lyi
ngoutthewindow.
"Okayokay
.It
'snotreal
l
yat
hreat
.Somebody
sentmeanSMSt el
li
ngmehowIshoul
dn'
t
marryyouandstuff
"
Helookedatmei ntheeyef
oragood5
secondsandinspectedmyneckasi
flooki
ng
forsomethi
ng.
"
That
'si
t?"Heasked.
"Yeah.ShouldIbeworr
ied?
"Iasked.Hewas
suddenlytensebutt
ryi
ngtohi
deit.
"
Idon'
tthi
nkso.Comeher
e"hesai
dandpul
l
ed
mei
ntoahug.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
***
***

"
Vukaphel
a!"
(Wakeup!
)Shesai
dinahur
ry.
"Hm???"Irepl
iedinslumber
.Iwaspr ett
ysureI
hadonlysleptforafewminutes.Wear ri
vedin
KZNatar ound3andIwasal readybeingwoken
up.If
eltl
ikeIhadbei ngr
anov erbyatrain.
"
Hai
boBet
sov
ukabo!
"Sheexcl
aimed.
"
Mabuy
iyi
ni?
"(Whati
sit
?)Iasked.
"uMaut hikf
anel engikf
undiseumdansof or
uDwendwe.Whi chisgoingt ostartkunge
k'dal
a"(
Masay sIneedt oteachy out hedance
forthet
radit
ional weddi
ng...notlongf r
om now)
"
Dowehav
etodoi
tnow?
"Isul
ked.
"Unf
ortunat
elyyes.I
t'
snothi
ngmuchr
eall
y.The
sooneryougetupf r
om t
hisbedt
hesooner
we'l
lgetdone.Upupup!"
"I
'
mt ii
ii
red"Isul
kedev
enharder
.Iwasr eal
l
y
exhaustedandwhointher
ightmindr ehearses
adanceat4am?Igotupnonet heless.

Shetaughtmeandexpl ai
nedasshewasabout
togoov ert
hethingsIneededtodoandknow
anelderwomanwal kedinwithajeanapr on
wit
hr edmateri
alontheedgesandt hefront
pocket.Shehadablackdoekar oundherhead
andblackblock'
pushins'atherfeet
.
"
Ningi
chazakabi
ninamesenenzanj
e"(
I'
m
i
mpressed)
Wel
aughed.
"
Sawubonaaunt
y",
Mabuy
igr
eet
edher
.
"
YeboBuy
i.Suwubonakot
i"
"
Sawubonaaunt
y"Igr
eet
edback.
"Si
yakwamukel
alaphaemaqcekeni
waka
Khumalo"
(WewelcomeyouhereintheKhumal
o
househol
d"
"Ngi
yabonga",Ihumbl
yrepl
ied.Evel
ynwal kedi
n
amomentl aterandsai
d"Skwiibayak'
funa
ngaphandl
eay ashaamabhodwe"(They'
re
l
ookingforyououtsi
dethepotsarebur ni
ng).
Aunt ylaughedandsai d"Hay imekungekho
mi nay onk'
int
oi yaphi hl
ikalay'khay a"(WhenI'm
notar oundev erythingf all
sapar y).Evelynsofl
y
hitheronhershoul derandsai d"Yebomanj e
shonakhona.Nj engamanj e"(
Yesnowhead
ri
ghtt herethi
smoment ".Theyl aughedand
auntywentout .Ev elynalsohadanapr onon.Do
thepeopl earoundher eeversl eep?It houghtt
o
my selfasIsoakedi nregret.IregrettedwhyI
didn'tsleepinthecar .
"Goodmorni
ngmydarl
ings.Seni
qedi
l
e?"(
Are
youdone?
)Sheaskedasshehuggedthebot
h
ofusoneatati
me.
"Yebomaf ut
h'uy
akwaziuke.
..
"(Yesmashe
evenknowshowt o.
..
)Mabuyi
'ssentencewas
cutshor
tbyanotherel
derl
ywomanwhoswung
thedooropen.
Evel
yntight
lycl
osedhereyesi
nannoyanceand
asifshewassil
entl
ysayingadesper
atepray
er.
"
Jaaacoconut
!!
",t
heel
der
lywomansai
d.
Evel
ynr
oll
edherey
esandMabuy
ihel
dina
l
augh.
"
Buy
ibuy
i!
"Shesai
dandgr
eet
edMabuy
i.
"SawubonaMaShandu"
,Mabuyi
repl
i
edwit
h
dif
fi
cult
ybecauseshewascl
ear
lywi
thal
lher
mightnottocr
ack.
MaShanduwal
kedi
nstagger
ingwit
halarge
'
bhi
ki
ri'
fil
l
edwi
thwhatIposi
ti
vel
yconcl
udedto
betr
adit
ional
alcohol
.Thesmel
lofi
tgav
e
ever
ythi
ngaway .
Shet
ookast
andandshotadubi
ousl
ookatme.
"
Uyel
ouMast
inana?
"(Sot
hisi
sthebr
ickl
ayer
)
"
Hai
boaunt
y",
Mabuy
isai
dandEv
ely
n
i
mmedi
atel
ysaid
"
Masamb'
Thenj
i
we"
"Hayihayiungangi
thint
iwekhuwal oMzulu.
Mus'ukungibambaweeLi zabethi
.Ungaze
ungit
helel
engalezi
nt ozakhozaleBri
ti
nish
Ambassador "(
Nonodon' ttouchmey ou
CaucasianZuluwoman.Don' ttouchmeQueen
Eli
zabeth.Youwi l
lprobablyi
nfectmewi thyour
thi
ngsf r
om theBri
tishEmbassy )
"
Ingenaphii
Bri
ti
shEmbassyla
weThenji
we?"(
Howi st
heBrit
ishembassy
r
elatedtoanyofthi
sThenj
iwe?)Evel
ynasked
wit
hherannoyanceatpeak.
"I
ngenashi ci!Lawangenakhonawenamhl a
wamshay angest inausi swam.Fut hiwena
mat i
ninangi y athembaawuf ani nalongey'nto
zakhezabel ungungobami nangi m'nyi
sa
ashay eiskhal angakat hathuuml ungu.Shem
mar aumuhl ey az.Ngi yayiqheny angomf anaka
sbari j
ealousdown" (
Itcomesi nrightwher eyou
didwheny out ookmysi ster'
sman.Andy ou
bri
cklayerIhopey ou'renot hingl i
ket hi
sone
withherEngl ishthingsbecauseIbeatan
Englishper sont i
l
l t
her otatet hri
ce.Buty ou're
sopr ett
yshame.I 'm proudofmybr other
'sson"

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
**

"Idon'tthi
nkI
'l
lbeabl
etodot hi
s"Isayto
Mabuy i
whowashadabounci ngMelokuhlein
herarms.Hewassocut einhisnavybluecargo
shorts,skybl
uevestwri
tt
en"Igetthecharm
f
rom daddy
"int
hef
rontandnoshoeson.
"Bangak'
thusi
labant
u90%oft
hem can'
tev
en
dance"
Ilaughedaswewal kedoutoft hehouse
accompani edbyul ulationsandt raditi
onal
songs.Iappar entlyhadt odancebef oreIpicked
outMuzi fr
om hi sbr other sandothermen
dressedi ntraditional attires.Thebreezeint he
airfel
tabi tchill
ybutni ce.Onet hi
ngIl i
keabout
tradit
ional weddi ngsi st hatthey'
reallheldi
n
themor ning, atleastal l thatI'
veattended.One
woul dexpectt hatpeopl ewoul dprefertosleep
andonl ycomel at erint hedaybutno.They ard
wassof ull
.Ev ent hehel pshadt heirbestout f
it
s
on.

Thecheersf
rom t
hecrowdgrewasIcontinued
wit
hmydanceandt hataddedsomeconfi
dence
toi
t.Idi
devery
thi
ngIwast ol
dtodotothetee
andIcouldtel
lI'
m doi
ngev ery
thingri
ghtfrom
thelooksofapprov
alIwasget ti
ngfrom Evel
yn
andauntywhower estandingamongstt he
crowd.Thechiefwassitt
ingonhi shi
ghchair
noddingatevery
thi
ng.Thiswast heoffi
cial
stamp.IknewIwaskilli
ngit.

Ihadt owashhi sf eetwhi leeverybodywat ched

andal lhedidwasst areatmewi t
haseduct ive
smileandIi mmedi atelyknewwhathewas
thi
nking.Iwasev ensur prisedthathisgeni tals
remainedcal m becauseIknewhi sbr ainwasn' t
.
Ismi l
edandi gnor ed.Al othappened, including
Manqoba' ssi
ll
yspeechwhi chincludedhi m
requestingthattheypl ay'Ubunt ombi'myAi ri
cft
ManqonqoandNol lyM.Muzi l
aughedsohar d
whenmybr i
desmai d'ssangal ongt omesay ing
"Woy i
shol owenaukut hiwhyubunt ombi
ungasenabo"( You' r
egoi ngt oexplainwhyy our
vir
gini
tyi snolongeri ntact)tomycompl ete
embarrassment .Manqobawentont oask
ukuthi
inkomokababangay '
qhubangay 'shonisa
ngaphi!Engabengay '
qhubeleempumal anga
nomangay '
qhubel'
entshonalanga.Iwasf l
ushed
wit
hembar r
assmentwhenhet ol
dMuzi topay
up.Hest oodupf r
om wher ehewasseat edand
camet oshowermewi t
hR200not esasIbowed
andkneltont hegrass,wearinghistrusted
smil
et ocharm meof fmyf eet!

UNEDITED (
Wewi
llcont
inuewhenI
managetochar
gemybatt
ery
)
I
nser
t66.

Thest ampt omybei ngt r

adit
ional
lymarri
edand
welcomedi ntotheKhumal ofamil
ywaswhenI
hadtopl acemoneyi ntothest omachofthe
cowt hatwassl aughteredspecial
l
yforme.I
al
sohadt ogiveoutgi f
tsintheform ofbl
anket
s
t
omyi n-
laws.Iwastol
dthatt
hiscer
emonyi
s
r
efer
redtoas"Ukwaba".

"Ngibuyengikwamukel efuthiemaqcekeni waka

Khumal omakot i
.Intoyokuqalaengi zoyi
sho
mi naukuthiindodai yaphakel
wamamakhe"( I
'l
l
goingt owelcomey ouagai nourbride.Thefir
st
thingI'
m goingt osayi sthatamanmustbe
dishedupf or").Thisisoneoft hemanyy etso
similarspeechesIwasgi venbyt hef emale
eldersofthef amily.
"Fut
hiangikhul
umingokudlak'
phel
a.Ayavul
wa
amathangaemendweni "
(AndI'
m nott
alki
ng
aboutfoodonly.Amarri
edwomanneedst o
openherlegs)
Everyonecheeredheronasi fshewas
preachingthecorrect
,t
rut
hfulgospel
.Whyam I
theonlyreceiv
ingadviceonhowt okeepmy
mar r
iagestableandhe'snot?Thiswasa
thoughtthatwasfl
oat
ingi
nmymi ndasI
l
istened.Icoul
dn'
thel
pbutl
aughalongwit
h
everyonewithmyheadbowedasifitwas
nail
edt othegr
ound.
"Nomaengabuy aek' seni akazobuzwauwena
ukuthi uphumaphi .Uphumaphi mesekwenze
njani?Uhl angaphi wena?Ngal okhungi t
hikuwe,
i
ndoday izembe, siyabolekisananjengabaf azi.
Nanomaumnakwenuengazi ukuthibekakuphi
umy eni wenu, akabuzwaukut hiuphumaphi
ngiyaphindaf uthi"(Eveni fhecomesbacki nt he
mor ning, youshoul dn'
taskhi m wher ehe's
comi ngf rom.Whyshoul dy ouask?Byt his,I
'
m
sayingt hatamani sli
keanaxe, itismeantto
bebor rowedf r
om onewomant oanother.Even
i
fy oursi sterwif
eal sodoesn' tknowwher ehe
was, Irepeat ,
youdon' taskamanabouthi s
wher eabout s)
Inoddedwi
thmyheadbutdi
sagr
eedwit
hmy
mind.Muzi
wil
lhav
etoputmeundersomesor
t
ofspel
lforhi
mt oachi
evet
his'
Yeswoman'
behavi
orfrom me.

"Hayi
sisisi
kuzwi
leukushilookuningiwamlay
a
nomakoti wet
hu.Ngifi
kekemi nangi
zo
khul
umanay euMnt ungwa, ngi
mele
oMbulaz'
abamnyama, (
We' veheardal
lthat
you'
vesaidmysister.I
'm heretospeakto
Mntungwaonbehal fof.
..
*clanprai
ses*)
Ni
nabakaBhej
'eseNgome,
(ul
ulat
ions)
Ni
n'enadl
'
umunt
uni
myengangendaba,
Ni
n'enadl
'i
zi
mf'
ezi
mbi
l
iikhambi
laphumal
i
li
nye,
Lobengul
akaMzi
l
ikazi
,Mzi
l
ikazi
kaMashobana,
ShobananoGasakaZi
kode,
Zi
kodekaMkhat
shwa,
Okhatshwengezi
nd'izi
nyawo
nangezimf
ushanyana,
UMkhatshwawawoZi
mangel
e,UNy
amay
ent
ini
yawoZi
mangele
Mabasoowabas'
ent
abeni
kwadl
i
wai
l
anga
l
ishona,
BaNt
ungw'
abancwaba,
Zi
ndl
ovuezi
bant
u,
Zi
ndl
ovuezi
macocombela,Ni
n'abakwaMawel
a
owawel
'i
Zambezingezi
khal
i,
Ni
n'abakwaNkomozav
ul'
inqaba,
Zav
ul'
inqabangezi
mpondokwel
aseNgome
zahamba,
(MUSHOOOOKhumal
o!)
Ni
n'enal
ukudl
'uml
enzekwaBul
away
o,
Mant
ungwaAl
uhl
aza,
Mant
ungwaAmahl
e,
Bant
wanabenkosi
,
(Al
i
li
li
l
il
il
i
)
Ni
n'abakwaNt
okel
a,
I
nkubel
eabay
ihl
abengamanxeba,
Abakhul
engezi
nyawoezi
mfi
shany
ana
nezi
maqhukul
wana,I
nyang'abat
hebet
h'i
fi
l'
uZul
ukanti
isi
yet
heswe,
(KhulumaKhumal
o
khul
umababa!)
Yet
heswengoNy
akanakaMpey
ana,
UBandoabal
ubandebal
ushi
y'uZul
u,
UNt
shwi
ntshwi
ntshwi
kaNoy
andanoNdaba,
UNkoneev
elengobus'
emdi
bini
,
Ndabezi
tha!Maqhaw'
amakhul
u!"

Thecrowdcont
inuedr
oar
ingandcheer
ing
Muzi
'suncl
eon.
"Ngi
mengent oey odwal ami na.Ngi t
hikuwe
ndodana,umf aziakabekwanj eisandla.
Mes'l
umai sandlasakhobakhona
oNqoba,oMbusonaboSabel o.Intangazakho.
Akashawangesandl aumf azi.Ushawange
ndukuemf anele.Ngishowonaumt hondo
Mzil
ikazi"(I'
m standingher ebecauseofone
thi
ng.I'm heretosayt omyson, youdon'tl
ay
yourhandonawoman.I fy ourhandisit
ching,
ther
ear ey ourbrothersandcousi nswhom y ou
canfightfairl
y.Yourpeer s.Youdon'tbeatyour
womanusi ngy ourhands.Youbeatherwi t
ha
rodthat'
swor t
hyofherpuni shment.I
'm
speakingabouty ourd**k)
Muzi bowedhi sheadandl aughed,j
ustas
everyonearoundhim was.Themenwer e
l
aughi ngthel
oudest.Idon'tevenwantt otouch
onManqoba.Cant hi
sendal r
eady?Ithoughtto
my selfassevereembarrassmenttightened
i
tselfaroundmyt emples.

.
..

Af
tert
hewhole'Embarr
assBetso'sessi
onand
ev
eryt
hingwasdone,ever
yonestart
edwalki
ng
awayt oprepar
ef orthewhi
tewedding.I
couldn'
tseeMadl aminiany
where.Muzi
approachedmeandhuggedmef r
om behindas
Sjav
a's'I
ntombi'play
edloudlyf
rom t
he
speakers.
"
Weent
ombi
Ng'
theauqonde
Lashoni
il
anga
Ngi
k't
shel
ii
ntouy
odwa
Habeee!
"
Ibl
ushedashesangal
ongi
ntomyear
sand
pul
ledaway.
"
Theel
dersar
ewat
chi
ng.St
opi
t"
.I
r
epr
imanded.
"Theseeldersalr
eadyknowt hatI'
m gonnaf***
yousidewaysandt ur
nt hatp***
yi nsi
deout
whenwe' redonehere"
.Hesai d,thenpull
edan
arrogantsmirkandwalkedaway .Ilookedat
hi
m walki
ngawaywithmymout hhungopen.
Helookedbackf
rom adi
stancefr
om me,afoot
awayfrom anMQwhowasonhi sphoneand
l
aughed.

-
--

Aft
ermyshower ,Iwal
kedoutofthebat
hroom
i
nat owelandcheckedmyphone.Ihadno
noti
fi
cat
ions.Ipul
ledmytoi
l
etrybagfr
om the
bedandIsubsequentl
yhear
daknockonmy
door.
"
Comei
n!"Iannounced.
Mabuyi
walkedinwi
thOkuhl
est
rappedonher
backwi
thablueandpur
plet
owel
.
"
Mnax"
.Shel
owl
ygr
eet
ed.
"
Heyyou".Igreet
edbackasIloti
onedmyf
oot
t
hatIhadplacedonthetopofthebed.
Shepul
l
edt
hechai
randpl
acedher
sel
fther
e.
"Areyouokay
?".Iasked.Shedi
dn'
tl
ookher
great
est.
Sheexhal
ed.
"
I'
mf i
ne.Idon'
tknowhowy
ou'
regoi
ngt
otake
t
hisbut.
..
"
"Butwhat
?"Ir
emovedmyfootfrom t
hebedand
sunkdownonthebedandfacedher.
"
Ican'
tat
tendy
ourweddi
ngbabes"
"
Why
?"
"
It
'l
lonl
ybr
eedhat
red.I
t'
sbesti
fIdon'
t"
"
Whatdoy
oumean?Ar
eyou.
..
?"
"Jeal
ous?Toacer tai
ndegree,yes.Iwon'
tbe
abletosi
tthereandlist
entomyhusband
confessi
nghislovetoanotherwoman.We' r
e
makingprogress.Thi
sisforthebest"
"
Ithensof
tl
ypl
acedmyhandsonmyt
highsand
pur
sedmyl
i
ps.
"
Uhm.
.Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
..
."
"
Idon.
..
"shesai
d
"
Idi
dn'
t.
..
"Ii
nter
rupt
ed.
"Yougofir
st"It
hensai
d.Shedar
tedherey
es
around.
"Look,Ibel
ieveit
'snatural
formet ofeel
anythi
ngbuthappyf orthebothofy outoday.
I
t '
shard.HarderthanIthought.Ij
usthopeyou
won'ttakethi
sacer tai
nway "
.Shesaidasshe
undidthetowel,bri
ngingKuhletoherfront
.
"Iunderst
and.Totall
y.Ij
usthopethi
swon'
t
affectourrel
ati
onshi
pinanyway "
"I
'mjusti
nmyf eels.I'l
lbeal
ri
ght".Shegotup
andwehuggedi tout .Idi
dn'
tknowhowt o
descri
bethesmell ofthemoodt hatwasi nt
he
room.Webr okethehugandshewal kedaway.
"
Mabuy
i?"Ical
l
edoutasshewasaboutt
ocl
ose
t
hedoor
.
"
Yeah?
"
"
Thanky
ouf
ory
ourhonest
y"
Sheoff
eredafai
ntsmi
l
ed,
noddedandt
hen
cl
osedthedoor.

.
..
.

"Tswangtswangt
swang!Leboneng.Ngwanao
tshwanal
edinal
edi
".Ev
elynwalkedi
nsingi
ng
foll
owedbymymom andaunt yThandi
we,t
he
onewhowasi nher
eearli
er.
Il
aughedandaskedherwhot
aughthert
he
song.
"Whoelsebutmy sel
f?"
,mymom answered.
Thei
rbesti
erel
ationshi
pkeepsgr
owingandit'
s
amazingtowatch.
Samor awasdoi ng" f
inal
touchups"t omydr ess.
Itwasf i
neinmyey esbutIal l
owedhi mt o
conti
nuesewi ngitundermyar mpit.Wewer e
bothstandingi nfrontofthemi rrorbeforethe
window.Thesunal somar keditselfpresent
.
Thenat uralbeautyofanyday .Nature'sgif
tto
humanki nd.Tumi wasseat edont hebed.Tl hogi
waspr obablysomewher edi shi
ngout
i
nstructi
ons.
Thenj
iwewal
kedinandi
mmedi at
elysai
d
"Hai
bohai
bo!Af
unaniamadodala?"
(Whatar
e
mendoingi
nhere?)
Tumiwhisper
edf
rom mysi
deandsaid
"Madodakemmao"(
Madodaisyourmother
)
Iwant
edt
olaughbutr
efr
ainedf
rom i
t.
"Nanguefi
kauThenj
iwe.Masambeni.Sonke!
"
(HerecomesThenji
we.Let
'sgo.Al
lofus!"
.
Evel
ynexclai
medandpushedherout.
"
Ngi
theni
ngokungi
bambacoconut
?
Awungiyekaangisi
y enaumngani wakhof uthi
ngizok'
sakazange..
.(i
ndi
stinctchatt
ering)
"
(WhatdidIsayabouty ourtouchingmecoconut ?
Leavemeal oneI'
m noty ourfri
endI'
llsmack..
.).
Shekeptcompl ai
ningasMapushedheroutas
i
fshewasn' theari
ngawor dshewassay i
ng.
Samorapulledthewhit
ethr
eadinordert
o
breaki
t.Heprickedmewiththeneedl
eandI
i
mmedi atel
yfli
nched.
"
Ouch!
"
"Argsorr
ydoll
.It
'sjust
..thi
swomanhasbeen
getti
ngonmyner vesev ersi
nceIarr
ived."
Ny wi
nywi madodamadoda" .Sheshoul
dgetl ai
d!"He
exclai
medashepackedawayhi sthi
ngs.
Tumi l
aughedandsaid"Atthisbi
gageandy ou
sti
l
lall
owhomophobi cstogettoyou.You'
ll
die
ayoung,inf
antdeathI'
mtel
lingyou".Het
hen
gotupfrom thebedandsaid"Lookatyoubaby
youlookstunni
ng!Youwerer i
ghtSam.Thatvei
l
wasgoi
ngt
orui
nev
ery
thi
ng.
"
"Ri
ght!Vei
lsar
eoldf ashi
oned.Wit
hchil
dor
not.
",Samoraexpl
ainedinagreement
.
Ibl
ushedandthankedhi
m.Weconti
nued
chatt
ingt
il
li
twastimeformet
otakethebi
g
walkdowntheaisl
e.

*
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
***
*
***
**

"
Stor
mySundayBl
ues
Rol
l
ingar
oundt
her
oom
Youseem t
ohi
dey
oursmi
l
es
Wi
thdi
amondcol
oredhughes
Andbaby
,Iwantt
oshar
emyl
ovewi
thy
ou"

Themusi
cpl
ayedi
nthebackgr
oundasI
prepar edtowal kdownt ogetmar ri
edt ot he
l
ov eofmyl if
e.Ilovedt hesetti
ng.Wewer e
havinganout doorweddi ngatt her oy algolf
coursewi t
hgol dchairsonei t
heroft hewhi t
e
carpet .Myuncl ewasgoi ngt o'handmeov er't
o
Muzi .Themusi cwascal m.Thebi rdswer e
chir
pi ng.Thegr asswasatwhatIbel ievedwas
i
t'smostgr een.Muzi didnotknowhowexpr ess
howhef el
tasIappr oached.Hef inallyresorted
toput tinghislefthandov erhismout h,cov eri
ng
asmi l
eofdi sbelief
.Ifhewast ocol lapse, Iwas
suret hatEnhl eandMQwoul dcat chhi m
becauset heywer etheonesmostcl osestt o
himi nst anding.Weev entuall
ygott hereandhe
fi
rmlyshookhandswi thmysmi l
ing, proud
uncle.

Hesmi
l
edandhel
dmyhands.
"Dearlybeloved,wear egat heredher eint he
presenceofGod, fami l
yandf ri
endst oj oi
n
togetherthismanandt heappl eofhi sey ein
HolyMat r
imony ,
whi chi scommendedofSt .
Paul tobeanhonor ableest ate, i
nstitutedof
Godandt herefor
ei snott obeent eredi nto
unadv i
sedlyorcar elessly,butr everently,joyf
ull
y
andi ntheloveofGodbecausehewhof i
ndsa
wife,fi
ndsagoodt hing."Thepast orcont inued
withhisspeech.IdoubtMuzi hear dawor d
j
udgi ngfrom theseduct i
veey eshehadgazed
i
ntomi ne.I
ftherewasnooneher e, Iwas
definit
elygoingtobet oast.Iknowt hislookall
toowel lbuttheintensi t
ythatcamewi thittoday
wassomet hingofanewqual i
ty .

"MrKhumalo?
"Thepast
orsai
dasi
fhewasn'
t
sayi
ngthi
sforthef
ir
stt
ime.
"Hm!?Sor
rywhat
?"HeaskedandIbowedmy
headinal
augh.
"
Yourv
ows?
"
"
Oh"
,hesai
dandsmi
l
ed.Ev
ery
onel
aughed,
l
i
ght
ly.
"
San'
bonani
",Hesai
dandcont
inuedbl
ushi
ng
wi
thmyhandsinhis.
"YEBOMBULAZI !"
,thecrowd'sgreet
ingroar
ed
i
nt hetentaccompani edbythemostwi dest
smiles.Icoul
dn'tkeepmysel ffr
om laughi
ng.
Suddenlyhe'sshy?
Helaughedbeforehecoul
dbr
ief
lyt
urnt
othem
andsay"Ninj
ani?
"
Ev
eryonebeganl
aughi
ng.
"Si
yaphi
l
aMzi
li
kazi!Unj
aniwena?
"(Wearewell
andhowarey
ou?)Theycheer
edandlaughed
back.
"Hayi
.Idl
ozil
i
sathandamengiphi
la.Kodwa
nginescel
obandla"(Myancest
orsaresti
ll
happywithmebei ngal
i
ve.Ihaveaplea?)
Hismout hconti
nuedaddressingthem buthi
s
eyeswerebur i
edint
omi ne.Hischarmingsmil
e
couldn'
tagreetogetlef
tbehind.Hebrushedthe
i
nsidesofmyhandswi t
hhisthumbsandI
bl
ushed.Droppingmyey estot hefl
oor
.
Thepastorcouldn'
tdecidewhethertolaughor
tojustsmi
leatthisclownofagr oom thatwas
standi
ngbeforehim havingaconversati
onwit
h
thecrowdinst
eadofsay inghi
sv ows.
"Si
lalel
ethi
nasi
ngabant
ubakho.Khul
uma
phela!"
(Wearel
i
steni
ngasyourpeopl
e.Now
tal
k!)
Hepursedhi
sli
psandlaughed,wi
thhi
s
gl
i
steningey
esref
usi
ngtobr eakt
hest
arei
nto
mine.
"Ndoda!Ukhal
angani!
?"(Tal
kman! )
.Thatwoul
d
beManqobascr eami
ngf rom behi
ndhim.The
crowdlaughedevenharder.
"
Oly
tiscel
osami
nasi
.Ngi
cel
anj
eni
ngi
buki
se
l
osi
siomephamb'kwami
?"(
Mypleai
sthaty
ou
hel
pmarv
elatt
hisbeaut
yst
andi
ngbefor
eme?)
That ,
justthatwasenoughtorushmybl ushi
ng
hormonesst r
aighttomycheeks.Ul
ulat
ions,
clanpr ai
sesandabunchof" Awwws"br okeup
andIcoul dlit
erall
yfeel
myeyeswelli
ngupwi th
tears.
"Baby ?Iam notgoi ngtost andhereand
transformi nt oaZul uShakespearenoma
ngikuthembi seintoengekho( Orpromi sey ou
l
ies) .Notev eryoneher eisgoingtounder stand
thisbutbei ngwi t
hy ouisanobl i
gationbut
l
ov ingy oui sachoi ce.Youdef i
nemyl if
e.You
definet her easonf ormyex ist
ence.Inoneof
ourconv ersations,you'
veonceaskedmewhat
myf avouritethingabouty ouandIdon' t
rememberanswer ingyoupr operl
y..
."Iwas
gettingal l
sor tsofemot ionalwhenawomani n
goldst il
ettost hesizeofmountKi l
imanj aro
wal kedi nslowl yasifwant i
ngtobenot iced.
Shewaswear ingabl ackti
ghtdressthatwent
tojustabov eherknees.Herski nwasf lawl
ess.
Thebl acklongweav eonherhead
compl ement edt hiswell
.Muziturnedherhead
towar dsherandhi sfaci
alexpr
ession
i
mmedi atelychanged.Het ri
edhidinghis
annoy ancebutt hisi
smymanandmymanhas
abadhabi toff orget
ti
ngthatIknowhi m wel
l.
Shet hengr acefullyt
ookaseatatt heback.
Hebr oughthiseyesbackt omeandsai d"My
favourit
ethingaboutyouisthatyouwere
custom- madeforme.I t
'samazinghowt he
universeal
ignedourpathsjustbecausewe
weremeantt obe.That'
sadiffer
entki
ndofhi gh
forme.Noonei severgoingtotakeyourseatin
myhear tANDmyl i
fe,nomat t
erhowhar dthey
try
...
"

UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t67

Ithi
nnedmyey esathim aftertheladymadeher
minigrandent r
ance.I'
m saying"mini"because
i
twasn' tthatmuchofascene.Het i
ghtenedhis
holdonmyhandsandl ookedatmedeadi nthe
eyeli
kei twasjustthetwoofust hereti
llhe
fi
nall
yspoke.
"Everythi
ngyou'reexpect i
ngmet osay ,thein
sicknessandi nhealth, forbet t
erorf orwor se
ti
lldeathdouspar t,
t hatwhol eshebang?I '
m
notgonnasayanyofi t
.I'm notgoi ngt oput
boundar i
esandl i
mi tationsonmyl ovef oryou
becauseev enbey onddeat h,wewi llsti
llbeone.
WhatIcanpr omisey oui st hat,wheny ouneed
me, I'
m gonnacomer unni ng.Wheny ou'rehurt,
I'
m gonnacomf ortyou.Mydut yasy our
husbandi stoloveandpr otectyou.AndI
promi setofulf
il
littot hef ull
est,eveni fit'
sthe
l
astt hingIdo.Ngi y
ak' t
handaBee, ngakho
konkeengi
nakho.
"(
Wit
hev
ery
thi
ngIhav
e).
Whoi nvi
tedthesedamnedt earstothewedding?
Iwipedthecor nerofmyey eandner vousl
y
l
aughedatt hesamet i
me.Het ookoutaclean
handerkerchi
effrom thetoppocketofhis
j
acketwi t
hani nwardsmi l
et hesli
ghtl
y
proj
ectedout wardly
.Itookitandpincheditto
myey etoav oidleavi
ngmymakeupi nruins.
Ihear
dsev er
al"Takeyourti
me"sand"We
under
stand"sfrom t
hecrowd.Icont
inued
l
aughinginbreaksandpieces.
"Whenev
ery
o'r
ereadybr
ide.
..
",t
hepast
or
assur
ed.
"
Muzi
kay
ise.
..
"
"
Yesbaby?"
,hei
nter
rupt
edwi
thi
ntent
ionandI
l
aughed.
"Thankyou.Forbot
hy ouremoti
onalv
owsand
alsoforl
ovi
ngmer ight.Babyy
ou'r
eakingand
thisi
samplifi
edbyeverythi
ngyoudo.I'
m
l
ookingforwardtowr iti
ngourlov estoryfurt
her
thanweal r
eadyhav e.Thei nkwil
l r
unoutat
ti
mes.That '
sacertaintybutIpromi setorefi
lli
t
i
fy oucan't
.Ipromi
set oloveyouatt i
mes
whereIfeelli
kehatingy ouiseasier.Ipromise
torespectyouasmyhusband, t
her espectthat
youv er
ymuchdeser ve.All
owmet ohav eyour
heartandIpromiset onev erl
etitbreak,ever"
Isai
dandendedmyv owsbyquot i
nghim.I
coul
dn'texpl
ainhisfaci
alexpr
essi onbutitwas
somethingthatcouldeasi
lyber oundedoffto
emotional
.I'
veneverseenhim cr yandfrom
whathismot heroncetol
dme, Iwoul dn'
thave
gambledwi t
hmyl astmoneytryingt obetonit
.I
coul
dn'tfi
ghtitanymoresoIallowedt hetear
s
fal
lastheypleaseddownmyf ace.
"
Thi
sisbeaut
if
uli
ndeed.
",Thepast
orsai
d.
"Now,bef
orewecarryonandmaket hi
soffi
cial
,
i
st her
eanyoneher
ewhoi sagainstthejoi
ning
oftheset
woi nhol
ymatri
mony ?Ifyes,maya
handber
aised?
"
Muzi immedi atel
yshotadeat hstarebut
maskedi taswi t
hast r
aightsmileattheback.
Myey estracedandf ol
lowedhis.Thel adyatt he
backt ookof fhershadesandsatcr oss- l
egged.
Shet henr ai
sedherhandt oherheadandgent ly
beati tafewt imesasifshewasi tchi
ng.I fMuzi
i
scheat i
ngonme, wewi l
lbehav i
ngaf uneralat
theendoft hiswedding.Athoughtandi t
's
trail
erstroll
edaroundinmymi ndandIkeptmy
ey esonhi m.Nohandwasr ai
sed.Noat t
ention
wasdr awn.Noscenewascaused.
"Alr
ightthen.Mayt hekidsbr i
ngt hewedding
bandscl oser"
,thepastorinstructedandthe
twinsbroughtther i
ngsint hei
rcut ewhite
dresses,whitestocki
ngsandst raightupson
theirheads.Oldfashionedifyouaskmebuthey .
IwashandedMuzi 'spolishedr i
ngandhi m mi
ne.
"Wi
ththi
sri
ng,
Muzikayi
sedoyoutake
Boi
kokobet
soRemofi
lweMotl
habanetobey
our
l
awf ul
lyweddedwif
etilldeathdoy ouapart
?",
thepastorl
aughedaft
ersay i
ngt helastpar
t
becauseofwhatMuzi saidinhisvows.
Everyonedi
dthesameandMuzi smi l
edshyl
y.
"Withthi
sring,IMuzikayisePhakamani
Khumal otakethisbeautiful
,mostGOR- geous
BoikokobetsoMot l
habanet obemyl awf ul
ly
weddedwi fethatevendeat hwon'tdousapar t
",
hesaidandsl i
ppedi tontomyf i
nger.Iwasn't
sureifIwasat t
endingmyownweddi ngora
comedyshow.Thi siswhatIgetforagr eei
ngto
getmar r
iedtoal ef
t-handedidi
ot.
Iobvi
ouslydi
dt hesameandt hepastorsaid"Mr
Khumalo,youmaynowki ssyourbri
de".Itwas
nodif
ferentt
oopeni ngthecageandal lowinga
hungr
yl i
ontobeont heloose.Thenaught y
smil
eonhi sfacegrewwi derashepul l
edmeby
mywai st
.Het henbrief
lyt ur
nedhisface
towar
dst hepastorwhonoddedasago- ahead
andbroughthiseyesbackt ome.Hebi this
l
owerl i
pandManqobai mmedi atel
ysai d"Halal
a!
Muncal omunt ubafo!"
(Suckt hispersonbr o),
bri
ngingevery
onet oal augh.Hesof tl
yand
gentl
yplacedhislipsandmi neandhadhi sway
wit
ht hem.Webot hgotseemi nglylostinit
j
udgingfrom thecompl aintsthatwer edropping
i
nandi mmedi atel
youtofourear s.Itwouldn't
havebeenaMuzi kayi
set hatI'
vegot tenmar r
ied
toifhedidn'
tplacehishandsonmya* *!

.
..

Ther ecepti
onwashel dinathotel
,afterI
changedmyout fi
tfrom the'bootube'tummy
huggingy etfr
eeflowi ngdr
esstoanot herwhite
onewi thar emovableCapeandbear deddet ai
l
aroundt hewaist
.Outofal lthethr
eeout fi
ts,
I
fel
linlovewi t
hthelastonet hemost .It
exaggeratedmycur v esandshapedmyboobs
wel
l.Ididn'
tknowwhethertoholdthebra
r
esponsibleaswell
butallIknewisthatt
hisi
s
t
hebr i
deIalwayssawinmyday dreams.

Everyonewasseatedandchat ti
ngawayf or
them tonoti
cewhatMuzi wasdoi ngtomy
thi
ghwi t
hhishandunderthet abl
ewhi l
e'Made
toloveyou'byGer
aldLevertplayedinthe
background.Weweretoohappyf ormet obe
askingaboutthel
adyinblack.Ithinknotseei
ng
heraroundherhel
pedhiscaseaswel l.
Mandlast
oodupandmadeafewgent
lehi
tst
o
hi
schampagneglassi
nor
dert
ocat
ch
ev
eryone'
sat
tent
ion.
"Goodeveningeveryone.I
'
m notgoingto
welcomey ouagainbecauseyouhav ebeen
welcomedami ll
iontimesbeforemeandy ou'
re
surel
ytir
edofhear i
ngitaswellsoletmeget
str
aighttothepoint
.Mnaandi zut
hethai
nto
ezinintsi bawo.Ndi f
unanj eumphat hekakuhl e
l
osi siohl eleecam' kwakho.Nott hatIdoubty ou
will.Ever yoneknowsy ouhav eat al
enti nlovi
ng
andaPhDi nr omanci ngawomanbut
ahem( laughsf rom thecr owd), j
ustbeaman.
Taker esponsi bil
it
yf ory ouract i
onsand
apol ogizeev enwhenshe' stheonewho' s
wr ong( laughsagai n).Mamel axaet hethanawe.
Somet imest hat'
sall theyneed.Forust olist
en.
Event houghsomet i
mes, (sl
ightlyraiseshis
glassandhi sindexf ingerf r
om i t
),somet i
mes
alltheyneedi sforust oshutTFandhol d
them. "Hesai dt hi
swi thhisey esdeepl ygazed
i
nt oasmi li
ngandseat edBridget t
e.Shet hen
blewaki sstohi m andev erybodywent
"Awwww" .Heact edl i
kehecaughti tthenputi t
i
nhi spocket .
"Umphathekak'hl
eokany euzawuv
angenqi ndi
aphaemqaleni.Ndiqgibi
l
ekemna." (
Treather
well
otherwi
sey ou'
llfeelaf
istupi
ny ourt
hroat
.
I
'm done).Hethensai
dandhandedt
he
microphonebacktoMQ,theMC.
Muzi
kayi
senoddedandl
aughed,
pur
singhi
s
l
ipst
oget
her.

.
..

"IthinkaboutthedayImettheper fectstr
anger,
Ithinkaboutus.Andthi
nkaboutt hedayIgot
wrappedar oundyourfi
nger,Ithinkaboutus.
Thesunwasshi ni
ngony ou.TheLor dwas
smi l
ingonme.Lov ewascallingus, Ihadmy
mindmadeupandIcan' tstopl ovi
ngy ou,Ican'
t
helpmy self
..
"

Kem's'
Ican'
tst
oplov
ingy ou'wasplayi
ng
subt
lywhenMuzit
ookof fhisj
acketandputout
hi
shandtomesoIcanj oinhim onthedance
fl
oor .Iobl igedandwewal kedov erwi th
ever yonecheer inguson, whi chmademeshy .
ButIdi dn'tbackdownbecauseIsomehowget
thisf eeli
ngofbei nginvincible(read' safe'ifyou
may )eacht i
meI 'mi nhisar ms.Hesof tl
ypl aced
hisar m onmywai standleadt hesl owdance.
Nextont hepl aylistwasasongbyJaggedEdge
ti
tled' Gottabe' .Hepul l
edawi desmi l
eand
closedhi sey esasi fhe'sbeenwai ti
ng
i
mpat i
entlyfori t.Hesangt omei nlipsy ncand
wedancedasi fwewer etheonl yonesi nt he
room butwhenJohnLegends' Wheni t'
scol d
out side'startedpl ayi
ngwebot hi ncreasedt he
paceoft hedanceandsangt oeachot herwi th
himt wirl
ingmear oundbutt hist ime, our
shoul dersdi dt hemostdanci ng.Ev eryone
seemedt oenj oyt hissight.Manqobawentt o
pickEnhl eupf r
om herseatwhen' Let'
sget
mar r
ied'byJaggedEdgest artedpl ay i
ng, j
oining
usont hedancef l
oor .Muzi whi speredt ome
andt oldmei twast heirweddi ngsong.If ound
thiscut
e.Muzihadbot
hhishandsonmywai
st
i
nsl owdance,
occasi
onal
l
ydroppingl
i
ght
kissesonmyli
ps

Thenumberofcoupl esont hedancef loor

begani ncreasi ngwhenMaxwel l
'
s'Lifet i
me'
startedplay i
ng.Ir estedmyheadonmy
husband' schestasweobey edtother hythm of
thesong.Wekeptt hesameener gywi thCar l
Ander son's'Myl ovewi l
l
'.WhenNewEdi ti
on's
'
Cany oust andt her ain?'startedplayinghe
sangoutl oud.Thi sishisf avouri
tesong.The
songhepl ay edi nthecarwhenIwasn' tsure
whet hertol eav eort ostay .Itremindedmehow
muchIchoset ochoosehi m.AndhowIwi l
ldo
i
tov erandov eragain.Thedancecont inuedand
bynowev eryonewasmi ndi ngeithert heirdrinks,
theirloverort hebusi nessi ngeneral.Muzi andI
shar edthel ongestki sssi ncet hi
sdaybeganas
BrianMcKni ght '
s'Backatone' pl
ayedandset
thecorrecttonewi thmyhandsi nhisempt y
pockets.Het henaskedt obeexcusedbecause
hewaspr essed.Iallowedandhesang" IfeverI
beli
evemywor kisdonet henI
'l
lst
artbackat
one"onmyl ips.Ilaughedandhekissedmy
for
eheadbef oreheadingout.Tumiapproached
measIwenti nthedi r
ect
ionofmyseat .
"Andthen?Oll
elaeng?"(
Whyar
eyoucr
ying?
),I
askedinobvi
ouswor r
y.
"I
'veneverseenyouthi
shappy.I
t'
smakingme
emot i
onal"hesai
dashesniff
edandwipedhi
s
tearswit
ht hecor
nerofaserv
iet
te.
Ilaughedandwehugged."
Trusty
out
obr
ingal
l
thedrama"
"
Honestl
ythough,
pol
ygamyornot
,I'
m gl
adyou
mett
hisman".Hesai
dashetookMuzi'
sseat.
"Notmoregladthanmet hough"
.Isai
dandwe
l
aughed.Wecont i
nuedtalki
ngashehelped
himsel
ftodessertwhi
chIconcludedtobe
chocolatemoussebecauseIwasn' thavingany .
Iwasst arti
ngt ofeelalittl
ebitsick.Itol
dTumi
yhi
sandal lhesaidwas" MKJnrhadbet ter
behave.Nott onight.
"Ilaughedi tbutbegant o
worryaboutwhyMuzi wasnotcomi ngback.I
askedTumi tounclipthecapef rom mydr ess
becausei twast olookandt oomuchadmi nifI
wantedt owal kincompl etef r
eedom.Hedi d
andIwentoutt olookf orhim.Ibumpedi nto
oneoft hehot elmalest uffandaskedwher ethe
generalloois.Hewasni ceenought oshowi tto
meandIaskedhi mt ocheckf ormei fMuzi was
i
nside.
"
Ther
e'snoonei
nher
ema'
am"
"
Yousur
e?"
"Posi
ti
ve.Doeshesmoke?Tr
ychecki
ng
outsi
de"
"Okay.Thankyousomuch"
.Isai
dasImademy
out,handinhandwit
hworr
yincompani
onshi
p.
Iheardvoicesbefor
eIcouldt
urnacornerandI
wassur eitwasanexchangebetweentwo
opposinggenders.ThemoreIslowl
ywalked
towardstheori
ginoftheconver
sati
on,t
hemor e
Ibecamesur ethatIwashear
ingMuzi'
svoice.
"Whatar
eyouevendoi
nghere?Howdi
dyou
knowaboutt
his!
?",
heasked.
"That'
snotimportant
.Pleasegi
veusachance?"
Shesaid.Giveusachance! ?Whatt
he..
.!
?I
peepedt hr
oughasIplacedmyf i
ngersonthe
cornerforbal
ance.
Heexhal
ed,l
ookedawayandremov edher
handsf
rom hi
sneck.Shet
henplacedthem on
hi
swaist
.
"
Lihl
estopit
!Ican'
tbewithy
ou.I
'm amar
ri
ed
man.I'
vebeenamar r
iedaman!
"
"
Babystopfi
ghti
ngthis.Ist
il
lseethefi
reand
t
heint
ensit
yIusedtoseei nyoureyeseach
t
imeyoumadel ovetome.Al l
theseother
womenmeannot hingtome.AndI'dbedamned
i
fIweretogiveupony oufort
hethir
dti
me...
",
shesof
tl
ysaidwi thhereyesrai
sedathim.He
l
ookedatherintheey eforafewseconds
bef
oredefeat
idl
ysay ing"Whatdoyoumean?"
"I
'
m notal
l
owingyoutochooseanotherwoman
OVERmeal l
overagain.Notwheny
ou'vemade
suchamessofmyl i
fe"
"Li
hle,ngi
yaxol
isawedi dn'twor
kout .ButIcan'
t
mar r
yy ouaswell.Ican'
t."Hesaidand
shruggedwithhishandsi nhispockets.Hers
werest i
ll
onhiswai st
.
"Youwi
ll
becausemyfatheri
snotgoingt
o
all
owyoutohurtmeal
loveragai
n."
"Soyout hinkI'
mthatafrai
dofChiefSibekothat
I'
dshakei nmyboot sandjumpbacki ntobed
withy ouatthementionofhisname?",he
scoffedandr emovedherhandsfrom him and
walkedt owardsmydi r
ecti
on.
"
Okayt
hen.Whatabouty
ourdaught
er?
"
Hequickl
ytur
nedtowar
dsherl
i
kehehadbeen
spunaroundbyanaggr
essi
vet
ornado."
MY
WHAT? "

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t68

Lihl
e'
swordspier
cedbyeardrumssobadl yt
hat
thehol
esresul
tedinanecho.Iputbothmy
handsagai
nsttheroughwallf
orbalance.
"Whatdaughterar
eyoutal
ki
ngabout
Langel
ihl
e?"Hesnapped.
"Yourdaught
erdammit
!"Shesai
dbef
ore
coll
apsi
ngintoacry
.
"Donteventhi
nkaboutcr
y i
ngbecauseiti
snot
goingtoworkthi
sti
me.Whatbul l
s**ti
sthi
s?"
.
Thelastti
meIheardhim shouti
nthismanner
waswhenIt
hrewat
ant
rum f
orhi
m mi
ssi
ngmy
cal
l
.
"
LookI
'
m sor
r.
..
"
"
Okayokayl
etmegetthisstr
aight"
,ge
i
nter
rupt
edbef
oreshecouldfi
nishhersent
ence.
"
IfIdohaveachi
l
dwithyouthenshe'
spr
obabl
y
5yearsol
d.Ar
eyououtofyourf
ngmind!
?"
"You'v
ehurtmeMuzikay
ise.Idi
dn'
twant
anythi
ngtodowit
hyouunt i
lnow",
shesai
dand
soundedasifhewasapproachi
nghim.
"Touchmeandy
ouwi
l
lregr
eti
t"
,hel
owl
y,
calmlysai
d.
Shest
oppedwal
ki
ng.
"I
'
m sor r
ybaby.Ishould'
velety
ouknowsooner .
Kodwanawey ekel
aukubanehabai t
'snotli
ke
uzongishayaoranyt
hing"(
Stopexaggerat
ingit
's
notli
key ou'
regonnabeatmeup) .
"
Youact
ual
l
yqual
i
fyt
obet
hef
ir
stwomanI
beatt
oapul p.Umt
hethowakhouy asangana
wena.Ican'
thaveachil
dwi t
hy ou.B****how!?
Wealway susedpr
otect
ion.Always."(You'
re
i
nsane)
"Wellthingshappen.Andmef all
i
ngpregnant
wasoneoft hoset hings.Youcangof or
paternit
yt estingifit
'l
lputyourmi ndatease"
,
shesai dincer t
ainty
.Thef oodIatebegan
announci ngt heirret
urn.Iswallowedhardwit
h
myl efthandt i
ghtlyovermymout h,t
ryi
ngmy
bestnott ov omi t.Therewassi l
enceforawhile.
"
Wher
eisshe?
",Muzi
asked.
"
LosAngel
es"
,shei
mmedi
atel
yrepl
i
ed.
"
Yourl
i
feisal
loversoci
almedi
aexcepther
.
Why?I
sther
eevenachild?
"
"Beli
evewhatyouwantt obeli
eveKayi
se.I
fyou
wantt oseeherthenyouknowwher etofi
ndme.
I
'll
sendy ouherpict
ures.
"Shesaid,
cli
ckedher
heelsasshewalkedaway .Ihear
dMuzi
r
eleasi
ngal
oudsi
ngl
ebr
eat
h.
"
Shi
t!Babyy
ou'
l
lgi
vemeahear
tat
tack"
"Rat
heritbetheonetoki
ll
youbefor
eIdowi
th
mybar ehands.Youhav
eachil
dYise?"
,I
snapped.Heshuthisey
esandexhal
ed.
"
Ithoughty
ousai
dyouusepr
otect
ion?
"
"Ido.HenceIdon'
tbeli
ev ethatshe'st
ell
ingt
he
trut
h.Let'
sgobacki nyou'r
eshiveri
ng",
he
suggestedasheraisedhishandst oguidemy
walkinthedi
recti
onoft heentrance.
"Don'
ttouchme.HowmanywomendoIhav eto
expecttorockuponmydoorstepwi
thki
dsah!
".
Ifel
tastabbingpai
ninmyabdomenand
i
mmedi atel
yplacedmyhandther
e.
"St
handwasami
arey
ouokay
!?"
,heaskedi
na
pani
c.
"Ahh!"Thepainmov edt
omyri
ght
.Ir
efl
exi
vel
y
placedmyot herhandonmyt
ummy .
"Babykwenzenj
an?Khulumanamu?",hesai
das
heheldmeupf orbal
ancebecauseIwasa
singl
ebendawayfrom kneel
i
ng.
"Okayhangi nthereokay?Guard!
?"He
screamedf orheldandthesecurit
yguardwho
wasl ucki
lypassingbyatafardistanceon
possiblepatr
olcamer ushi
ngtous.
"
Kwenzenj
ani
ndoda!
?"Heaskedwhenhe
f
inal
l
ygott
ous.
"Ngicelaungi
yeleeHall
uyofunaumuntu
ek'
thiwawuManqoba.Umt sheleazeneyi
khi
ye
zemot o.Sheshi
samf owet
hu
ngiyak'
cela!
"(
Pleasegotothehallf
ormeandgo
l
ookf orsomebodybyt henameofManqoba.
Tellhimtocomewi t
hthecarkeysI'
m beggi
ng
you)
Theguar
dquickl
ygav
easi
ngl
enodandwent
rushi
ngi
nsi
de.
"
Ngi
yaxol
i
sast
handwasami
pleasehangi
n
t
her
ebaby
"
Ishookmyheadinagi t
ati
onandsaid"Ican'
t
l
osemybabyMuzi Ican'
t"
.Ihadnoideawhat
washappeningbutIwassur ei
twasn'
tgood
eventhoughIwasdesperatel
ypray
ing
other
wise.
MQandMandl
acameoutr
unni
ng.
"
UtheniBee?"(What'
swrong?),
Mandlaasked.A
waveofdizzinesshi
tme.Isuddenl
ybegan
f
eeli
ngli
ght-headed.
Icoul
dseemymom r unni
ngasanol
derwoman
shoul
dbuttheimagebeganf
adi
ngand
appear
inghazy
..
.

.
..

Icoul
dhearthehospit
almachi
nesbeepi
ng
conti
nuousl
yfr
om afar.I
tst
art
edfeel
i
ngli
ket
he
soundwasget t
ingcloserandcloser.Myey es
fel
timmensel yheavy.Isuddenlyremember ed
whathadt r
anspi r
edandIqui ckl
yopenedt hem
wide.Muziwassl eepingnexttomewi t
hhi s
headbowedont otheedgeoft hebedwi thmy
handinhis.Mymom wassl eepi
ngont hesingle
couchinaf arcornerwithherchininherright
hand.
"Muzi?"Ishookhim asIcall
edout.Herai
sed
hisheadandsai d"ThankGody ou'
reawake.
Uzizwaunjani?
"(Howar eyoufeel
ing?
)
"
Ismybabyokay
?",
Iasked.Mostpr
obabl
y
wist
ful
l
y.
Heopenedhi smouthtospeakbut
subsequent
lyshuti
tinst
ead.
"Letmecal
lthedoct
or"
.That
'swhatheopt
edt
o
say.
"Whatdoct
orMuzikay
isei
smybabyokayor
not
?"Ishoutedandwokemymom upasa
resul
t.Sheputthemagazinet
hatwasonher
thi
ghasi deandquickl
ycametost
andonthe
othersideofthebed.
"Heybaby
",shesaidli
keshewasaddressi
nga
Fil
weshehasn'tseeninover15y
ear
s.
Thedoctorwalkedin,i
nherpinkscr
ubsanda
neat,
caref
ull
yplait
ed'BennyandBetty'
onher
head.Hersi
mpl i
cit
yremindedmeal otofAmu.
"I
'm gladtoseemypat ientisup".Shesai das
placedherst et
hoscopeont hebed, pull
eda
brownf i
lefrom theendoft hebedandbegan
wr i
ti
ngthingsdown.Idi dn'tevenknowwhet her
tosay" Morning","
after
noon"or" evening"
becauseIwast i
me- confusedsoIr esortedto
skippi
ngt hegreeti
ng.
"
IsmybabyokayDr
?"
"
Uhm...
"shesai
dasshecont
inuedwr
it
ing,
wi
thoutr
aisi
ngherey
est
ome.
"
Att
hispoi
ntIcan'
tsayadef
ini
tey
esorano.
Youhadwhatwecal lathreat
enedaborti
onor
miscarri
ageifImightsay.Yourcaseisqui
te
str
angebecausey ousufferedaplacent
al
abrupti
onwhichiscommoni nthelastt
ri
mester
ofpregnancyandy ou'
reinyourfi
rst"
Shesai
dasshepl
acedherbl
ackpenbacki
n
hert
oppocket
.
"
Whatdoest
hismean?"IaskedandMuzi
tri
ed
t
ohol
dmyhand.Ipull
editback.
"Well
,thecondit
iont endst oshortenthebaby's
oxygenandnutrientsupply .Somebabi esdo
survi
ve.Butwit
hsome, t
hemot heri
sboundt o
haveacompl etemi scarri
ageatsomepoi nt.I
'
m
sorry
".Hersayi
ngt hatwasnodi f
fer
enttoher
placi
ngmybeat inghear ti
nf rontofthebladeof
aspeedilyr
otati
nggr inder.Muzi waslist
ening
asifhehadalreadybeent oldwi t
hthezero
needtogetsurpr i
sed.
"
Ist
her
eany
thi
ngy
oucandoaboutt
his?
What
evert
hecost
",heasked.
"I
'
m afr
aidnot.Nomedicalpract
ionercansave
suchapregnancy.Wel
lthat
'sifi
t'
llunf
oldi
ntoa
miscar
ri
agethati
s"
Heexhal
edandsunkbackdownonthechairhe
wasprev
iousl
yseat
edon.Mymotherhadtears
i
nhereyesbutshewasn'
tgoi
ngt
ocry.Iknew
t
hisf
oraf act
.
TheDrl i
ft
edthedri
pbagf rom it
sstandand
hel
ditintotheai
r,i
nspect
ingit.Shethen
mumbl edandsaid"Whyisnotmov i
ng",
tal
ki
ng
toherself.
"Ohtherewego",shesai
dwit
hat oneof
sat
isfact
ionandsaid"
MissBo.
..
"
"MrsKhumalo"
,Muzi
corr
ect
ed.Ij
ustgl
aredat
himforamomentandthr
ewmyey esbackat
thedoct
or.
"Sorr
y.MrsKhumalo,
yourbloodpressureis
hit
ti
ngtheroof
.Ihaveever
yr easontobeli
eve
thatthisisthecauseofal lofthi
s.Yourst r
ess
l
ev elsarecertai
nlyveryhighsoI'm goingtoask
thaty ouavoidanythi
ngt hatcoul
dpl aceyouina
stressfulsi
tuati
on.Youshoul ddri
nkal otof
wat eraswel l
wedon' twanty oudehy drat
edit
willnothelpyourcasei nanyway "
"
Iunder
stand"
.Iaf
fi
rmed.
"Goodthen"
,shesaidandall
owedherwhi
te
sneaker
stotranspor
theroutoft
heroom.
"
MacanIpl
easehav
eamomentwi
thmywi
fe?
"
Mymom t hi
nnedhereyesathi
m andlovingl
y
brushedthebackofmindbeforesheleft
.She
l
eftthedooropen.Probabl
ywaiti
ngformet o
callherbackifMuzi
gotonmyner ves.Ibegan
wonder i
nghowmuchsheknew
Hebithi
slowerli
pwist
ful
l
ybefor
ehecoul
dlet
anywordtoleav
ehismouth.
"BabyI'
m sor
ry.Iam t
err
ibl
ysorr
y
sthandwasamiIshoul
dn'thav
eall
owedLi
..
."
"
Ifl
oset
hisbabyPhakamani
,consi
deri
tasy
ou
l
osi
ngmet oo"
Hismouthwidenedi
nsubt
leshock.Hethen
cl
oseditandgaveabri
efl
ooktothesi
deand
sai
d"Idon'
tevenknowwhattosayri
ghtnow
butIknowImessedup"
"There'
snothingIwouldlov
emor et
hana
smoot hpregnancybutIdon'
tseemysel
f
achiev.
..
"
"Babylook..
."
,hejumpedinthemiddl
eofmy
sentence.Hetri
edfindi
ngwordstoexpr
ess
whateveritwasonhi smindbuthewasclear
ly
str
uggling.
"
Remembert
hatdayIhadt
obuyagoat
?"
"
Yeah?
"If
lat
lysai
d.
"
Ithi
nkwemaybehav
ingagi
rl
"
"
What
?"
Thedrwal
kedi
nandsai
d"Sor
ryi
fthi
smay
appearasmeeav esdroppingbutIforgott
his"
.
Shesaidandt ookt hestethoscopefr
om the
sheetthatwaslayingov ermyt hi
gh."You'
re
actual
lyhavi
ngt wins",
shesai dwithaproud
smileandthenwal kedinr ever
seabitbefore
shecouldturnandwal kpr operl
y.
Muzi'sfacedwasdr apedinasaladofr
eact
ions.
Idi
dn'tknowwhet hertoconcludei
fhewas
shocked,bli
ssf
ul,excit
ed,ov
erawedoreven
confused.Ial
sodidnotknowhowt odi
gest
whatt hedrhadjustsaid.
"Di
dyouhearthat
?",
hesai
dwi
thagr
owi
ng
smil
eonhisface.
"
I.
..di
d"
"Buti
t'
snotlikeIcanaff
ordtobeexci
ted.Why
didyouthi
nkIwaspr egnantwi
thagir
l?Itmight
betwooft hem butwhywouldyouspeci
fical
l
y
thi
nkthat?
"
"
Wel
l
,Bab'
Ngemasai
dmygi
rlchi
l
dcoul
d
possi
blybeindangerwhenwewer ewalki
ng
backtohisplaceaf
terthesl
aught
ersoIjust
assum..youknowwhat ?Never
mind"
,hesaid
andoffer
edmeagent l
esmil
e.Hewassuddenly
deepinthought.
"
May
bei
treal
l
yisy
ourbaby
",Isai
d.
"
What
?"
"
Lihl
ebaby
.May
besher
eal
l
yisy
our
s"
"
Let
'snott
alkaboutt
hatf
ornow"
"
Yeah.Pl
easeexcusemeIneedt
ogetsome
r
est"
"
BabyI
'
m..
."
"
Ngokukhul
uukuy
ithobaMbulazi
,pl
ease
l
eav
e"(Wit
hall
sherespect
..
)
Isaidandhewasi nst
antlydefeated.He
exhaledandgotupdoubt ful
l
yf r
om hisseat
.I
pull
edmyphonef r
om thedropoft hebedsi
de
drawerandswitchedi
ton.Tonsofnot i
fi
cat
ions
camef
loodi
ngi
nandIswi
tchedi
tof
f.
Hestoppedatthedoortolookatme.Ev eni
f
thesadnessi
nhiseyeswasi naf orei
gn
l
anguageIcouldst
il
lreadit.Histi
ewas
l
oosenedandhisshitwaspar ti
all
ytuckedout.
Helookedamess.Het hendr oppedhiseyes
andleft
.Somuchforbeingnewl ywedded.

.
..

It
'sbeen4day ssincethedrinsistedthatshe
can'tdischargeme.Thi smor ningshecameand
tookmyv i
tal
sandshewasappar entl
yhappy
wi t
hthem andsai dIcouldgo.Sher efer
redme
toadoct orthatspecial
izesingy naecologyand
obstetricsinPLKbecauset hat
'swher eItol
d
herIwasheadedf rom thehospital.Mymom
broughtmysui tcaseandnewnav yblue
tracksuitswithhersoIt ookabat habat hand
sl
ippedint
ot hoseandthei
raccampanying
sl
ipperboots.Theweatherwasn'
tappeti
zing.I
t
wascoldbutnotf r
eezi
ng.Justanoverdoseof
chil
l
y.
Mabuy iwalkedinasIwaspackingmycase
properl
yandsai d"Sawubonama.Heyy ou".She
greet
edusbot h.Mymom gav eherasmi l
eand
saidshe'l
lexcuseus.Mymom honest ly
surpri
sedme.Iwasexpect i
nghertothr
owa
fl
amingt antr
um whenshef oundoutthatMuzi
i
sapol ygami stbutshedidqui
tetheopposit
e.I
f
thi
smani sawi zar
dthenhe'shi
ghly
experi
encedi nhisfi
eld.
"Uzi
zwaunjani
?"Sheaskedasshesai
dont
he
bedandplacedherLoui
sVuit
tonAl
maBBon
topoft
hebedsidedrawer.
"
I'
mfi
ne.Iguess"Isai
dandcont
inuedpacki
ng.
"
Youdon'
thav
etoactall
tough.Iknowt
hepain
t
hatcomeswi
thal
lofthi
s.Only
,Iwentt
hrough
i
ttotheend.Ihopei
tdoesn'
tgett
othatwi
th
y
ou".ShesaidandIexhal
e.
"
Wannat
alkabouti
t?"
,Iasked.
"
I'
drat
hernot
".Shesaidandther
ewas
i
mmediatesi
l
encelacedwithsadness.
"
Uhm.
.Idon'
t.
.yoh"
.Shef
inal
l
yspoke.
"
What
?"
"
Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
"
"Saywhat'
sony ourchest"
,Isai
dasIwait
edfor
herbrut
alhonestybecausethat
'ssomet
hing
shemastersverywell
.
"
Whydi dn'
tyoutell
mey ouwerepreggi
es?I
t
houghtwewer esister
s?AndforsomereasonI
t
hinkyouwereintenti
onal
l
yhidi
ngit"
"Idi
dn'tknowwheret
ostart
.Idi
dn'
twantt
o
hurtyou.Okuhl
eisst
il
lababy"
"
Thatwon'
tmakeithur
tanyless.I
'
m nothur
tby
t
hefactt
haty
ou'
repregnant
.Youweregonna
fal
lpregnantsoonerorlat
erthi
sisMuzi
we'
re
tal
ki
ngabouther e",shesaidandan
uni
ntenti
onallaughescapedmyl i
ps.
Shesmiledassheseemingl
ythoughtabout
whatshehadjustsai
d.Mabuyii
s
unint
ent
ional
l
yfunny.I
tseemsitsurpr
isesher
too.
"Soy
ou'
renotangr
y?I'
m honest
lynot
compet
ingwi
thyou"
"Betso,whathappensinyourhouseisy our
business.Sameaswhathappensi nmine.I
couldfallpr
egnantagainri
ghtnowandt here
woul dbenothingyoucandoabouti tevenifit
hurts.Whatdoesn'tsi
twellwi
thmei sthatI
somehowf i
gureyouthinkI
'm capabl
eof
witchcraf
torsomet hi
ng.Werey ouhidi
ngi t
becausey outhoughtIwouldplaceyourbabyi n
thehandsofdanger ?"
"
What
?No!Ij
ust
..It
houghty
ouwi
l
lov
err
eact
"
"Honey , t
heonl ytimey ou'regonnaseet he
savageMabuy ii
swheny ougeti nbet weenme
andmyhusband.Butwhat everyoudoi ny our
mar riageist otal
lyyourbusi ness.I'
m honest l
y
tr
yingt obui ldar el
ati
onshi pherebuti fthere'
s
goingt obesecr etsthent here'
sobv iouslygoing
tobesomebackst abbingi ntheend.Il i
key ou.
Youhav et hisgoodv ibeabouty out hatI
certainlywoul dn'tj
ustfindi nanysisterwi f
e.
Oneofmypr ayerswast hati fMuzi married
anot herwi fe,i
twouldn'tbesomebodywho
woul ddi sr
uptmypeace.I '
m noty ourenemy
Betso" ,shesai dandgotof fthebed, pull
ingup
herjeansf rom theback.
"Yourki
ndhear
tscar
esmesomet
imes"
.I
blur
tedout
.
"
Iunderst
and.Youprobabl
ythinkIhaveul
ter
ior
moti
ves.I
fIwantedtokil
lyouIwould'v
edone
t
hatalongti
meago" .Shesai
dandf l
ipped
Mal
aysianherweave.Il
aughed.Shedidaswell
.
"Mciim Ihavet
ogo",sheannouncedandpul
l
ed
mei ntoahug.Shesmeltreal
lygood.She
alwaysemi t
sallt
hese'r
ichwif
e'vi
besand
tendencies.
"
I'
ll
seey
ouathome?
"
"
Nope.I
'
m goi
ngbackt
omypl
ace"
,Isai
d.
"
Oh?",
shesai
d.Shewassurpri
sedbecauseshe
wascl
ear
lyexpect
ingsomet
hingel
se.
"Yup".Isaidandkeptt
omyself.Iwasn'
tabout
tostartdiscussi
ngmyquar
rel
swi t
hMuzi wit
h
hiswife.
"O.
..kay.What
everi
tis,Ihopeyousortitout"
,
shesaid.Shecl
earl
ydoesn'tknowanything
aboutwhat'sr
eal
lygoingonhereotherwiseI
doubtshewouldbethischil
led.
..

UNEDI
TED I
nser
t68
Lihl
e'
swordspier
cedbyeardrumssobadl yt
hat
thehol
esresul
tedinanecho.Iputbothmy
handsagai
nsttheroughwallf
orbalance.
"Whatdaughterar
eyoutal
ki
ngabout
Langel
ihl
e?"Hesnapped.
"Yourdaught
erdammit
!"Shesai
dbef
ore
coll
apsi
ngintoacry
.
"Donteventhi
nkaboutcr
y i
ngbecauseiti
snot
goingtoworkthi
sti
me.Whatbul l
s**ti
sthi
s?"
.
Thelastti
meIheardhim shouti
nthismanner
waswhenIt hrewatant
rum forhi
m missi
ngmy
call
.
"
LookI
'
m sor
r.
..
"
"
Okayokayl
etmegetthisstr
aight"
,ge
i
nter
rupt
edbef
oreshecouldfi
nishhersent
ence.
"
IfIdohaveachi
l
dwithyouthenshe'
spr
obabl
y
5yearsol
d.Ar
eyououtofyourf
ngmind!
?"
"
You'
vehur
tmeMuzi
kay
ise.Idi
dn'
twant
anyt
hingtodowit
hyouunti
lnow",
shesai
dand
soundedasifhewasappr
oachi
nghim.
"Touchmeandy
ouwi
l
lregr
eti
t"
,hel
owl
y,
calmlysai
d.
Shest
oppedwal
ki
ng.
"I
'
m sor r
ybaby.Ishould'
velety
ouknowsooner .
Kodwanawey ekel
aukubanehabai t
'snotli
ke
uzongishayaoranyt
hing"(
Stopexaggerat
ingit
's
notli
key ou'
regonnabeatmeup) .
"Youactual
l
yquali
fytobethefirstwomanI
beatt
oapul p.Umthet
howakhouy asangana
wena.Ican'
thaveachil
dwi t
hy ou.B* ***how!?
Wealway susedpr
otecti
on.Alway s."(You'
re
i
nsane)
"Wellt
hingshappen.Andmef all
i
ngpregnant
wasoneoft hoset hings.Youcangof or
pater
nit
yt estingifit
'l
lputyourmi ndatease"
,
shesaidincer t
ainty
.Thef oodIatebegan
announcingt heirret
urn.Iswallowedhardwit
h
mylefthandti
ghtl
yovermymouth,
tryi
ngmy
bestnottovomit
.Therewassi
l
enceforawhi
l
e.
"
Wher
eisshe?
",Muzi
asked.
"
LosAngel
es"
,shei
mmedi
atel
yrepl
i
ed.
"
Yourl
i
feisal
loversoci
almedi
aexcepther
.
Why?I
sther
eevenachild?
"
"Beli
evewhatyouwantt obeli
eveKayi
se.I
fyou
wantt oseeherthenyouknowwher etofi
ndme.
I
'll
sendy ouherpict
ures.
"Shesaid,
cli
ckedher
heelsasshewalkedaway .Ihear
dMuzi
rel
easingaloudsingl
ebreath.
"
Shi
t!Babyy
ou'
l
lgi
vemeahear
tat
tack"
"Rat
heritbetheonetoki
ll
youbefor
eIdowi
th
mybar ehands.Youhav
eachil
dYise?"
,I
snapped.Heshuthisey
esandexhal
ed.
"
Ithoughty
ousai
dyouusepr
otect
ion?
"
"
Ido.HenceIdon'
tbel
i
ev ethatshe'
stel
li
ngt
he
t
rut
h.Let'
sgobackinyou'r
eshiveri
ng"
,he
suggest
edasherai
sedhishandstogui
demy
walkint
hedi
rect
ionoft
heentrance.
"Don'
ttouchme.HowmanywomendoIhav eto
expecttorockuponmydoorstepwi
thki
dsah!
".
Ifel
tastabbingpai
ninmyabdomenand
i
mmedi atel
yplacedmyhandther
e.
"St
handwasami
arey
ouokay
!?"
,heaskedi
na
pani
c.
"Ahh!"Thepainmov edt
omyri
ght
.Ir
efl
exi
vel
y
placedmyot herhandonmyt
ummy .
"Babykwenzenj
an?Khulumanamu?",hesai
das
heheldmeupf orbal
ancebecauseIwasa
singl
ebendawayfrom kneel
i
ng.
"Okayhangi nthereokay?Guard!
?"He
screamedf orheldandthesecurit
yguardwho
wasl ucki
lypassingbyatafardistanceon
possiblepatr
olcamer ushi
ngtous.
"
Kwenzenj
ani
ndoda!
?"Heaskedwhenhe
f
inal
l
ygott
ous.
"Ngicelaungi
yeleeHall
uyofunaumuntu
ek'
thiwawuManqoba.Umt sheleazeneyi
khi
ye
zemot o.Sheshi
samf owet
hu
ngiyak'
cela!
"(
Pleasegotothehallf
ormeandgo
l
ookf orsomebodybyt henameofManqoba.
Tellhimtocomewi t
hthecarkeysI'
m beggi
ng
you)
Theguar
dquickl
ygav
easi
ngl
enodandwent
rushi
ngi
nsi
de.
"
Ngi
yaxol
i
sast
handwasami
pleasehangi
n
t
her
ebaby"
Ishookmyheadinagi t
ati
onandsaid"Ican'
t
l
osemybabyMuzi Ican'
t"
.Ihadnoideawhat
washappeningbutIwassur ei
twasn'
tgood
eventhoughIwasdesperatel
ypray
ing
other
wise.
MQandMandl
acameoutr
unni
ng.
"
UtheniBee?"(
What'
swrong?),
Mandlaasked.A
waveofdizzi
nesshi
tme.Isuddenl
ybegan
f
eel
i
ngl
i
ght
-headed.
Icoul
dseemymom r unni
ngasanol
derwoman
shoul
dbuttheimagebeganf
adi
ngand
appear
inghazy
..
.

.
..

Icouldhearthehospi t
al machi
nesbeepi ng
conti
nuouslyfrom afar.I
tstart
edf eeli
nglikethe
soundwasget t
ingcloserandcloser .Myey es
fel
timmensel yheavy.Isuddenlyr emember ed
whathadt r
anspi r
edandIqui ckl
yopenedt hem
wide.Muziwassl eepingnexttomewi t
hhi s
headbowedont otheedgeoft hebedwi thmy
handinhis.Mymom wassl eepingont hesingle
couchinaf arcornerwi t
hherchi ninherright
hand.
"Muzi?"Ishookhi
m asIcal
ledout
.Herai
sed
hisheadandsaid"ThankGodyou'
reawake.
Uzi
zwaunj
ani
?"(
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng?
)
"
Ismybabyokay
?",
Iasked.Mostpr
obabl
y
wist
ful
l
y.
Heopenedhi smouthtospeakbut
subsequent
lyshuti
tinst
ead.
"Letmecal
lthedoct
or"
.That
'swhatheopt
edt
o
say.
"Whatdoct orMuzi
kayisei
smybabyokayor
not?"Ishoutedandwokemymom upasa
resul
t.Sheputthemagazinet
hatwasonher
thi
ghasi deandquickl
ycametost
andonthe
othersideofthebed.
"Heybaby
",shesaidli
keshewasaddressi
nga
Fil
weshehasn'tseeninover15y
ear
s.
Thedoctorwalkedin,i
nherpinkscr
ubsanda
neat,
caref
ull
yplait
ed'BennyandBetty'
onher
head.Hersi
mpl i
cit
yremindedmeal otofAmu.
"
I'
m gl
adt
oseemypat
ienti
sup"
.Shesai
das
placedherstet
hoscopeont hebed, pull
eda
brownfil
efrom theendoft hebedandbegan
wr i
ti
ngthi
ngsdown.Idi dn'tevenknowwhet her
tosay"Morning","
after
noon"or" ev
eni ng"
becauseIwast i
me- confusedsoIr esortedt
o
skippi
ngthegreeti
ng.
"
IsmybabyokayDr
?"
"
Uhm...
"shesai
dasshecont
inuedwr
it
ing,
wi
thoutr
aisi
ngherey
est
ome.
"Atthi
spointIcan'
tsayadef ini
teyesorano.
Youhadwhatwecal lathreat
enedaborti
onor
miscarr
iageifImightsay.Yourcaseisqui
te
str
angebecausey ousufferedaplacent
al
abrupti
onwhichiscommoni nthelastt
ri
mester
ofpregnancyandy ou'
reinyourfir
st"
Shesai
dasshepl
acedherbl
ackpenbacki
n
hert
oppocket
.
"
Whatdoest
hismean?"IaskedandMuzi
tri
ed
t
ohol
dmyhand.Ipull
editback.
"Well
,thecondit
iont endst oshortenthebaby's
oxygenandnutrientsupply .Somebabi esdo
survi
ve.Butwit
hsome, t
hemot heri
sboundt o
haveacompl etemi scarri
ageatsomepoi nt.I
'
m
sorry
".Hersayi
ngt hatwasnodi f
fer
enttoher
placi
ngmybeat inghear ti
nf rontofthebladeof
aspeedilyr
otati
nggr inder.Muzi waslist
ening
asifhehadalreadybeent oldwi t
hthezero
needtogetsurpr i
sed.
"
Ist
hereanythi
ngyoucandoaboutt
his?
What
everthecost
",heasked.
"I
'
m afr
aidnot.Nomedicalpract
ionercansave
suchapregnancy.Wel
lthat
'sifi
t'
llunf
oldi
ntoa
miscar
ri
agethati
s"
Heexhal
edandsunkbackdownonthechairhe
wasprev
iousl
yseat
edon.Mymotherhadtears
i
nhereyesbutshewasn'
tgoi
ngt
ocry.Iknew
t
hisf
oraf act
.
TheDrl
i
ftedt
hedr
ipbagf
rom i
tsst
andand
hel
ditintotheai
r,i
nspect
ingi
t.Shethen
mumbl edandsaid"Whyisnotmoving",
tal
ki
ng
toherself
.
"Ohtherewego",shesai
dwit
hat oneof
sat
isfact
ionandsaid"
MissBo.
..
"
"MrsKhumalo"
,Muzi
corr
ect
ed.Ij
ustgl
aredat
himforamomentandthr
ewmyey esbackat
thedoct
or.
"Sorry.MrsKhumal o,yourbloodpr essur eis
hit
tingtheroof .Ihaveev eryreasont obel i
ev e
thatthisisthecauseofal lofthis.Yourst ress
l
ev elsarecertainl
yv eryhighsoI 'm goingt oask
thaty ouavoidany thi
ngt hatcouldpl acey ouina
stressfulsi
tuation.Youshoul ddr i
nkal otof
wat eraswel l
wedon' twanty oudehy drat
edi t
willnothelpyourcasei nanyway "
"
Iunder
stand"
.Iaf
fi
rmed.
"Goodthen"
,shesaidandall
owedherwhi
te
sneaker
stotranspor
theroutoft
heroom.
"
MacanIpl
easehav
eamomentwi
thmywi
fe?
"
Mymom t hi
nnedhereyesathi
m andlovingl
y
brushedthebackofmindbeforesheleft
.She
l
eftthedooropen.Probabl
ywaiti
ngformet o
callherbackifMuzi
gotonmyner ves.Ibegan
wonder i
nghowmuchsheknew
Hebithi
slowerli
pwist
ful
l
ybefor
ehecoul
dlet
anywordtoleav
ehismouth.
"BabyI'
m sor
ry.Iam t
err
ibl
ysorr
y
sthandwasamiIshoul
dn'thav
eall
owedLi
..
."
"
Ifl
oset
hisbabyPhakamani
,consi
deri
tasy
ou
l
osi
ngmet oo"
Hismouthwidenedi
nsubt
leshock.Hethen
cl
oseditandgaveabri
efl
ooktothesi
deand
sai
d"Idon'
tevenknowwhattosayri
ghtnow
butIknowImessedup"
"There'
snothingIwouldlov
emor et
hana
smoot hpregnancybutIdon'
tseemysel
f
achiev.
..
"
"Babylook..
."
,hejumpedinthemiddl
eofmy
sentence.Hetri
edfindi
ngwordstoexpr
ess
whateveritwasonhi smindbuthewasclear
ly
str
uggling.
"
Remembert
hatdayIhadt
obuyagoat
?"
"
Yeah?
"If
lat
lysai
d.
"
Ithi
nkwemaybehav
ingagi
rl
"
"
What
?"
Thedrwal kedi nandsai d" Sor
ryifthi
smay
appearasmeeav esdroppingbutIf orgott
his"
.
Shesaidandt ookt hestethoscopef r
om the
sheetthatwasl ayingov ermyt hi
gh." You'
re
actual
lyhav i
ngt wins",
shesai dwi t
hapr oud
smileandt henwal kedinr ever
seabi tbefore
shecouldt urnandwal kpr operl
y.
Muzi'sfacedwasdr apedi
nasal adofr
eact
ions.
Idi
dn'tknowwhet hertoconcl
udeifhewas
shocked,bli
ssf
ul,
exci t
ed,
overawedoreven
confused.Ial
sodidnotknowhowt odi
gest
whatt
hedrhadj
ustsai
d.
"Di
dyouhearthat
?",
hesai
dwi
thagr
owi
ng
smil
eonhisface.
"
I.
..di
d"
"Buti
t'
snotlikeIcanaff
ordtobeexci
ted.Why
didyouthi
nkIwaspr egnantwi
thagir
l?Itmight
betwooft hem butwhywouldyouspeci
fical
l
y
thi
nkthat?
"
"Well
,Bab'Ngemasaidmygirlchi
l
dcould
possi
blybeindangerwhenwewer ewalki
ng
backtohisplaceaf
terthesl
aughtersoIjust
assum..youknowwhat ?Nevermi
nd",hesaid
andoffer
edmeagent l
esmil
e.Hewassuddenl y
deepinthought.
"
May
bei
treal
l
yisy
ourbaby
",Isai
d.
"
What
?"
"
Lihl
ebaby
.May
besher
eal
l
yisy
our
s"
"
Let
'snott
alkaboutt
hatf
ornow"
"
Yeah.Pl
easeexcusemeIneedt
ogetsome
r
est"
"
BabyI
'
m..
."
"
Ngokukhul
uukuy
ithobaMbulazi
,pl
ease
l
eav
e"(Wit
hall
sherespect
..
)
Isaidandhewasi nst
antlydef eated.He
exhaledandgotupdoubt full
yf r
om hisseat
.I
pull
edmyphonef r
om thedr opoft hebedsi
de
drawerandswitchedi
ton.Tonsofnot i
fi
cat
ions
camef loodi
ngi
nandIswi t cheditoff.
Hestoppedatthedoortolookatme.Ev eni
f
thesadnessi
nhiseyeswasi naf orei
gn
l
anguageIcouldst
il
lreadit.Histi
ewas
l
oosenedandhisshitwaspar ti
all
ytuckedout.
Helookedamess.Het hendr oppedhiseyes
andleft
.Somuchforbeingnewl ywedded.

.
..
It
'sbeen4day ssincethedrinsistedt hatshe
can' tdi
schar geme.Thismor ningshecameand
tookmyv i
talsandshewasappar entl
yhappy
wi ththem andsai dIcouldgo.Sher eferr
edme
toadoct orthatspecial
izesingy naecologyand
obst etr
icsinPLKbecauset hat
'swher eItold
herIwasheadedf rom thehospital.Mymom
broughtmysui t
caseandnewnav yblue
tracksuitswi thhersoItookabat habat hand
slippedi nt
ot hoseandt hei
raccampany ing
slipperboot s.Theweat herwasn'tappet i
zing.I
t
wascol dbutnotf reezi
ng.Justanov erdoseof
chi l
ly.
Mabuy iwalkedinasIwaspackingmycase
properl
yandsai d"Sawubonama.Heyy ou".She
greet
edusbot h.Mymom gav eherasmi l
eand
saidshe'l
lexcuseus.Mymom honest ly
surpri
sedme.Iwasexpect inghertot
hrowa
fl
amingt antr
um whenshef oundoutthatMuzi
i
sapol ygami
stbutshedidqui
tetheopposi
te.I
f
thi
smani sawizar
dthenhe'shi
ghly
exper
iencedi
nhisfi
eld.
"Uzi
zwaunjani
?"Sheaskedasshesai
dont
he
bedandplacedherLoui
sVuit
tonAl
maBBon
topoft
hebedsidedrawer.
"
I'
mfi
ne.Iguess"Isai
dandcont
inuedpacki
ng.
"
Youdon'thavetoactallt
ough.Iknowt hepain
t
hatcomeswi thal
lofthi
s.Only,
Iwentt hr
ough
i
ttotheend.Ihopeitdoesn'
tgettothatwith
y
ou".ShesaidandIexhale.
"
Wannat
alkabouti
t?"
,Iasked.
"
I'
drat
hernot
".Shesaidandther
ewas
i
mmediatesi
l
encelacedwithsadness.
"
Uhm.
.Idon'
t.
.yoh"
.Shef
inal
l
yspoke.
"
What
?"
"
Idon'
tknowwhatt
osay
"
"
Saywhat
'sony
ourchest
",Isai
dasIwai
tedf
or
herbr
utalhonestybecauset
hat
'ssomet
hing
shemastersverywell
.
"
Whydi dn'
tyoutell
mey ouwerepreggi
es?I
t
houghtwewer esister
s?AndforsomereasonI
t
hinkyouwereintenti
onal
l
yhidi
ngit"
"Idi
dn'tknowwheret
ostart
.Idi
dn'
twantt
o
hurtyou.Okuhl
eisst
il
lababy"
"Thatwon' tmakei thur
tanyl ess.I'
m nothur
tby
thef actthatyou'
repregnant.Youwer egonna
fal
l pregnantsoonerorlaterthisisMuziwe'r
e
tal
kingabouther e",shesaidandan
unintenti
onallaughescapedmyl ips.
Shesmiledassheseemingl
ythoughtabout
whatshehadjustsai
d.Mabuyii
s
unint
ent
ional
l
yfunny.I
tseemsitsurpr
isesher
too.
"Soy
ou'
renotangr
y?I'
m honest
lynot
compet
ingwi
thyou"
"
Bet
so,
whathappensi
nyourhousei
syour
business.Sameaswhathappensi nmine.I
couldfallpr
egnantagainri
ghtnowandt here
woul dbenothingyoucandoabouti teveni
fit
hurts.Whatdoesn'tsi
twellwi
thmei sthatI
somehowf i
gureyouthinkI
'm capabl
eof
witchcraf
torsomet hi
ng.Werey ouhidi
ngit
becausey outhoughtIwouldplaceyourbabyin
thehandsofdanger ?"
"
What
?No!Ij
ust
..It
houghty
ouwi
l
lov
err
eact
"
"Honey ,theonlytimey ou'regonnaseet he
savageMabuy ii
swheny ougeti nbet weenme
andmyhusband.Butwhat everyoudoi ny our
mar riageistotal
lyyourbusi ness.I
'
m honest l
y
tr
yingt obuildar el
ati
onshi pherebuti fthere'
s
goingt obesecr etsthent here'
sobv iouslygoing
tobesomebackst abbingi ntheend.Il i
key ou.
Youhav ethisgoodv ibeabouty out hatI
certainlywouldn'tj
ustfindi nanysisterwi f
e.
Oneofmypr ayerswast hati fMuzimar ried
anot herwife,i
twouldn'tbesomebodywho
woulddi sr
uptmypeace.I
'm noty
ourenemy
Betso",shesai
dandgotoffthebed,
pull
ingup
herjeansfrom t
heback.
"Yourki
ndhear
tscar
esmesomet
imes"
.I
blur
tedout
.
"
Iunderst
and.Youprobabl
ythinkIhaveul
ter
ior
moti
ves.I
fIwantedtokil
lyouIwould'v
edone
t
hatalongti
meago" .Shesai
dandf l
ipped
Mal
aysianherweave.Il
aughed.Shedidaswell
.
"Mciim Ihavet
ogo",sheannouncedandpul
l
ed
mei ntoahug.Shesmeltreal
lygood.She
alwaysemi t
sallt
hese'r
ichwif
e'vi
besand
tendencies.
"
I'
ll
seey
ouathome?
"
"
Nope.I
'
m goi
ngbackt
omypl
ace"
,Isai
d.
"
Oh?",
shesai
d.Shewassurpri
sedbecauseshe
wascl
ear
lyexpect
ingsomet
hingel
se.
"
Yup"
.Isai
dandkeptt
omysel
f.Iwasn'
tabout
tostar
tdi
scussi
ngmyquar
rel
swi
thMuzi
wit
h
hiswif
e.
"O.
..kay.What
everi
tis,Ihopeyousortitout"
,
shesaid.Shecl
earl
ydoesn'tknowanything
aboutwhat'sr
eal
lygoingonhereotherwiseI
doubtshewouldbethischil
led.
..

UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t69

Mymot hercamei nt
other oom af
terMabuyi
hadlef
t.Shesatherselfonthechairandl
ooked
atmewi t
haf acethataler
tedthatshewas
aski
ngherselfquest
ionsinherhead.
"
Whati
sit
?",
Iaskedasmyey
esbr
ief
lyt
rav
ell
ed
t
owher
eshewasseated.
"Whathappenedlastni
ght
?",sheaskedwi
thher
handsfol
dedacrossherchest.Thi
siscer
tai
nly
oneofthemanyquesti
onsI'
vetri
edevadi
ng
fr
om herbutdi
dnotsucceedjudgi
ngbythe
l
ookshehaswor noverherf
ace.
"Nothi
ngmama" ,IsayasIcont
inuepacki
ng
onlytoreal
i
sethatmyabsentmi ndwasactual
l
y
doingtheexactopposi
te.
"Tlogel adiapar ot seokagonneagonase
bot okaseosedi r angf ao.Youandy our
husbandgooutoft hehal landy oualmosthav e
ami scar r
iage?It hinkIj udgedt hisboywayt o
soon.I fIknewhewasgoi ngt ocausey oupainI
woul dn' thav eallowedhi mt ohav eyou.A
bot sisekaVi oletmosi many anao.Ket lamo
tl
hat lhamol la!"(
Leav et hosecl ot
hesal one
becausey ou'rejustai ml essl
yplay i
ngar ound
them f ornor eason. ..Hemustaskar oundabout
Violet .I'
ll
pul lhim apar t),shesai dinahi gh
pit
chedv oice.
"Canwenotdothi
s?",
Ilowl
ypleaded.Iwas
genui
nel
yexhaust
ed.Ihadanacheinmyheart
.
Icouldn' tpinpointwhereexact lyitwascomi ng
from.Ift hiswasanexam andIwasaskedhow
exactlyI'mf eelingIwoul d'
vef aileditandnot
ev enqual if
yf orsupp.Weal way shearandsee
theset hingsonTVandwhat evermedi abutone
can'treal l
yrelateift
hey '
venev erhada
mi scarri
age.Idon' tthi
nkIwoul dsur v
ivei
t.I
t's
funnyhowy oumov efrom notwant i
nga
pregnancyt odoi ngeverythingi ny ourpowerto
protecti t.Aft
ersomehi ghlyappr eci
atedsil
ence,
mymot hermadeasound.
"Okaythen.Mor at
oaoreomof
ounel
ebecause
hesayshe' sbeentry
ingt
ogetahol
dofyou",
shereports.
"Iwil
l.
"Ifl
atl
ysaidandpul l
edt heot
herhalfof
thesuit
casesoIcancl oseit.Iimmediat
elyfell
i
ntoapool ofsadt hought
sbecauseIwasgoi ng
tomissmybest fri
end'sgraduati
on.Hewas
probablyonhiswayt oCapeTownasmymi nd
swam unpleasantl
yv i
scousliquidt
houghts.I
wastr
yingmybestnottoovert
hinkbutmy
ef
for
tsalway
sconcludedi
nf ai
l
ure.

Evelynshor t
lywalkedinacream whi
tetwo
pi
ecesui tandsuedebl ackheel
s.She'
salways
dressedlikeshe'sgoingtomeetwiththe
presi
denti fshe'
snotinherhouse.Mostofthe
ti
me.
"Darli
ng!Howdoy oudo?I '
m soglady ou'
re
okay "
,shesaidassher ushedt ogiv
emeahug
aftersheplacedherhandbagont hebed.She
thenlookedatmel ikeIjustresur
rectedfrom
deadmode.Shepl acedbothhercol dhandson
myf aceandsai d"
Gody oulooksopal e.Viol
et
hi"
Mymom gr
eet
edherback.
"Andthi
s?",
shesaidasshepoint
edt
omy
suit
case.It
henimmediat
elyf
igur
edshe
probabl
ywasn'tt
herewhenmymom wentt
o
f
etchi
t.
"She'
scomingwit
hme",mymom saidwithher
eyessetst
rai
ghtonEv
elyn,
whothenlookedat
herli
keshehadapant
yonherhead.
"Idon'
tthi
nkIunder
stand?
",shesai
dasher
eyesmov edf
rom mymom t omeandbackto
heragain.
"Thedoct
orsayssheshouldavoi
dstr
essas
muchasshecan.Idon'twanttol
osemy
daught
erbecauseyourson.
..
"
"Letuspusht hebrakesal it
tlebi
t.From whatI
gathered,MYSONdi dnot hi
ngwr ong.Dar l
ing,
I
'm sorryyouhadt ol andinhospitalbutri
ght
nowy ou'r
eov err
eact i
ng.Thesear ealsomy
grandkidssoIwoul dn'tputthem inobv i
ous
danger.ButIam goi ngtoputi tt
oy oustraight
,
i
habal onkeleli
.Uwumakot iphelawenamanj e.
Andnotj ustanymakot i
,umakotiwase
bukhosini.Younolongerhav eapl aceiny our
mot
her
'shouse"
,sheshar
plyst
ated.
"
I'
m act
ual
l
ygoi
ngbackt
omypl
ace"
"Samedi f
ference.Thepoi ntI
'mt r
yingtomake
hereisthatIdon' tt
hinkyou'r
egoingt olastasa
wifeshouldy oucarryyourselfi
nthismanner .
Fine.There'
sal otthatneedst obespoken
aboutIknow.Ev enthoughIhadt odr agandpull
i
toutofhi m butIknowaboutt hatSibekogirl
andIdon'tthin.
.."
"I
t'
snoteven24hour sandy oursonhashi s
pantsdown?AreyeFilwe",
mymom sai dasshe
stoodtozipupmycase.Ev elynpull
edf r
om her
bythetophandleandmymom pul leditbythe
wheel.Iwasintheri
ghtinthemi ddleofthi
s
Tom andJerrycir
cus.
"
Letgooft hi
scasey oubloodywoman!"
,my
motherdidnothesi
tatetobarkasshepull
edi
t
i
nherdirecti
on.
"
Youar
eser
iousl
ymadandy
ouhav
enoonet
o
tel
lyou!
",Evel
ynbarkedback.Idi
dnotknow
howt oevenstar
textingui
shi
ngthi
sri
singf
ir
eI
wasinthemi ddl
eof.
"Whatthefl
yi
ngf**
k!?"
,Thandoy
ell
edf
rom t
he
door.Shewasappal
ledandherf
acemade
tr
ipl
esurenottohi
deit.
"
Language!
",Ev
ely
nsnappedather
.
"Nomom.Thi sisnotthetimeforyourelegance
l
essonsbecausey ou'
repreachi
ngthecompl ete
opposit
eofwhaty ou'
redoinginhere!Icoul
d
hearthetwooffrom downt hecor
ri
dor .Thi
sis
ahospitalf
orheavensake!"
Sherepr
imandedandEvel
ynexhal
eddeepl
y.
Shepull
edandfi
xedherbutt
onedupj
acketand
l
ookedup.
"Youright.You'
rehonest
lyr
ightbaby
.My
apologiesVee"
"Nxn!
",mymom sai
danddroppedherselfback
onthechai
r.Iwast
ooti
redtoevenspeak.I
pushedt
hecaseandsatont
hebed.
"Kwenzakal
anivel
e?"(What'
sgoing
on?),
Thandoaskedasshet ookouther
earphonesfr
om herearsandshovedboththem
andthephoneinonepocketofherblacktr
ack
pants.Shehadaboxunderherar mpi
tonthe
otherhand.
"
Nothi
ngsweety
.Canyouexcuseusf
ora
moment?
",Ev
elynr
equest
ed.
"I
nami nute.Hisi
sunj
ani
?"(Howareyou?)
.She
askedandIr ai
sedmyeyesatherasshe
walkedtowardsme.
"Ecstati
c.Evident
ly"
,IsaidasIpull
edan
obviouslyfakesmile.Shelaughedandsaid
"I
magi nehav i
ngtobr eakoutanepisodeof
WWEbet weent woMATUREwomen" ,shesai
d
andl ookedatbothoft hem.Theylookedaway.
WhatIl
oveThandoisthati
sthatshe'
sa
st
rai
ghtshoot
er.Shesayswhatshefeel
satt
he
ti
meshe'
sfeel
i
ngi
tandshesay
sitwi
thher
chest
.
"Anyway,Ibr
oughtthese"
,shesai
dasshe
handedmet heblackroundboxwri
tt
en."
Flor
a"
i
ngol donthetop.
"
What
'si
nher
e?",
IaskedasIr
ecei
vedi
t.
"
Hawu.Angaz
i.Youopeni
t"
"
Youdi
dn'
t?Wher
eisi
tfr
om?
"
"Pucker-
moneysai dIshoul
dgiveittoyou",she
repl
ied.Icoul
dn'tst
opthelaught
erthatcame
outduehowshepr onouncedherbrother
's
name.Shehuf fedoutasingl
elaughandt hen
smiled.
"
Soy
oudi
dn'
topeni
t?"
"
Haibowhatifi
t'
sabomb?Angekengi fel
e
i
zonozabanyeabantumina.I
tisy
ours.
Addressedt
oyou.Iwasjustt
hedeli
very
woman.Openital
readyIwanttosee"
(Iwon'
t
putmysel finaposi t
iontodieforot
her
people'
ssi ns)
.Ilaughedandpulledt
hel i
df r
om
i
t.Itwasabouquetofdeepr edfl
owers.I
i
nstantl
ymel t
ed.Isuddenlybecameemot ional
.
Irepeat
,themut i t
hatMuzi i
susingi
snotf rom
SouthAfrica.
"Thesearesopreeet
ty"
,Thandoadmir
ed.She
honestl
ydidnotopenthebox?Suchgood
manners.Iexpect
edtheopposit
e.
"Ohandher e.HesaidImustgiveyouthis",
she
saidasshepul l
edoutasmal lenv
elopefrom
frontpocketofherover
sizedsweater.
"
Isthi
snotmyhusband'
ssweat
er?
",Iaskedand
l
aughed.
"Well
yourhusbandowesme.Nowr eadthe
car
dlet'shear",shesai
dandcl appedherhands
i
nexcitement .Mymom andEv elynhad
sof
tenedupwi t
hcertai
nlyunintenti
onalsmil
es
ontheirfaces.Theshamet heywer eboth
feeli
nghadthem l
ooki
nglikewetandcold
chickenst
hathadexper
iencedaheavyrai
n.
"I
'm notreadinganythi
ng.Thisisformyeyes
only"IsaidasIputthecardundert hepi
ll
ow.
Shel aughedandsaid"Okayf i
ne.IknewIwas
taki
ngaf atchanceanyway".Shethencame
andgav emeahug.
"
I'
mlovi
ngandleav
ingyour
ightnow.Ist
il
lhave
t
orunerr
ands"
.Shesai
dandroll
edhereyes.
"Di
dy ougotothepostof
fi
cenj
engoba
akuceli
l
eubabakho?"(
Justasy
ourf
atherasked
youto?)
"I
'
m driv
ingthereri
ghtnow.ButmaIdon' t
underst
andwhyI 'mtheonewhohast obe
goingupanddownwher easther
e'saperson
hi
redspecif
icall
yfortheset
ypeoft hi
ngs"
.
Thandocompl ai
ned.
"
UMelusi
uy agul
a.Justbeagoodchi
l
dwi
l
l
y
ou?
"(Melusiissi
ck)
"ThedayIr el
ocateandnev ercomeback,
nizongikhumbulangiyani
tshela.Nasi
"(
You'
re
goi ngtomissme.Iswear )
, shesai
dand
crossedherf i
ngersasshewentout .Mom and
Ev ely
nlaughedatherli
ttl
erant.
"Byeeeebabyyyy",
Evel
ynmockedherand
continuedl
aughing.WhenThandohadl
eft
,she
exhaledandalsosatonthebed.
"Look, awukhoumshadool ula.Nginesi ciniseko
sokuthi nomawakhoangay ifakazelalento
engiyishoy o.I
fwebot hhappent odietoday ,
uSphakami leuyoqeqeshwawubanukut hi
kwenzi wanj aniemendweni?Musukuy itetemi sa
i
nganengobaut hiuyalungi
sakodwaumosha
umshadowakheungaboni "
(Ther e'
snoeasy
mar r
iage.I '
mv erysureyourmot hercanat test
tothis...whoisgoingt oguideSphakami le
abouthowt hi
ngsaredonei nmar r
iage?St op
coddlingt hischi
ldbecausey out hi
nky ou're
helpi
ngheroutwhi l
einactual f
acty ou'r
eai ding
andabet
ti
ngt
hecol
l
apseofhermar
ri
age)
Mymom exhal
ed.Shekepthersi
l
encef
oratad
whi
l
eandthensaid"Iguessy
ouhaveapoi
nt"
.
"Mydar li
ng,communi catewithyourhusband
andst opall
owingl eseqamgwaqoukut hi
sikuhlanyi
se"(
..
.all
owingt hi
sloosewomant o
driveyouinsane).IkeptquietasIall
owedher
wor dstoseept hr
ought heporesmybr ai
n.

"Fort hesakeofthebabies,I
'm goi
ngt ogi v
e
yout hespaceyouneedbecauseIal sodon' tl
i
ke
stressingyouout.Butpleasedon'tcr ucifyme
forst uf
fIknownothingabout.Ngiy ak'thanda.
Ngi yohlezi
ngi
k'
thanda."Thecardr ead...

.
..

Asmymot
hersai
d,Ev
ely
nhadapoi
nt.Wewer
e
dri
venbacktot hehousebyherchauffeur
.My
mom wasdr i
v enbackhomebyanot herone.I
wantedhertost ayl
ongerbutshesaidshe
coul
dn'tandthatshewillcal
l
.
"Comehomei fyouf eelyoucan' ttakei tokay ?"
.
Thosewer eherf arewel lwor dsshewhi sper ed
i
ntomyearbef or
eshegoti ntothecarandl ef
t.
Whenwegott here,they ardwasst ill
celebrat
ing.Peopl ef rom ar oundt hecommuni t
y
wer esti
l
l eating,danci nganddr i
nki nglikei t
wasn'taMonday .Thechi efwassi t
t i
ngwi tha
bunchofol dmenunderahugeMor ulat ree.I
doubtheev ensawusdr iv ein.Sincet hisi sa
royalhouse, Iwasexpect ingt hatonl yacer tai
n
numberofpeopl ewer egoi ngt obeal l
owed
entrytotheweddi ngbutappar entlythechi ef
alwaysinv i
tesal lhispeopl ewhent her e's
somet hi
nggoi ngoni nhisy ard.Inowseewher e
Muzi getshisspi ritofshar ingandubunt u.We
gotintothehousewher eitwasl essnoi syand
gotsett l
edi nt helivingroom.Thehel pwho
assist
edmeappr oachedusi nherbl ackand
whiteuni form.She' ssohumbl e.Thel ev elof
self
-effacementsheexudesi sunmat ched.Ev er
l
ookedataper sonandy ouwer eimmedi atel
y
suretheyhadahear tofgold?Ev ely
nwas
sit
ti
ngont hecouchopposi tet heoneIwas
sit
ti
ngon.Sheaskedi ftheyshoul dgiv eaway
allt
hef oodt ot hepeopl eort heyshoul dkeep
somei nt her efri
gerator.Evelynf rownedi n
thoughtandsai d" Hayibanikekonkel okudl a.
Ngiyazi kuy ogqinasekumoshekaso. ..Lett hem
haveall ofi t"(Givethem allthef oodbecause
i
t'l
lendupbeggi ngspoi l
ed).Shenoddedand
l
eft.From whatIobser ved,shemustbet he
headoft heki tcheni nthishouse.Whenshe
wasaboutt ot urnacor ner,Ev elynyelled
"Nokuthul a!?"
"Yeboma'
am?",
sheanswer
edi
nahumbl
eyet
curi
oust
one.
"Ngicelawenzeleumakotiwethuokudlangisure
ulambile"
(Pleasemakesomef oodforourbride
shemustbehungr y).Mam'Nokuthulasmil
ed
withanodandwal kedawaybef oreIcoul
d
dispute.
"
I'
mreal
l
ynothungr
y",
Isai
dtoher
.
"You'renol ongerf eedi
ngy ourst omachonl y.
Ther e'
speopl einsidey outhaty ouneedt othink
of".Ismi l
edindef eatandl etitgo.Iwas
wonder i
ngwher eMuzi wasbutIwasn' t
planningonaski ng.Thef oodf i
nall
yar r
ivedand
Iatebecauseconst abl
est omachkeeperwas
wat chi
ngmel ikeahawk.Wehadt r
ivi
al
conv ersati
onsi ncludi
nghert ell
ingmet hat
Mabuy iwenttoJobur gtoshopf orOkuhleasI
ateandwat chedTV.Igotdoneanddr ankmy
j
uice.It ol
dherIneededt oli
edownandgotup.

.
..
Iiniti
al l
ywantedtogot omyr oom butapar tof
mewant edtotalktoMuzi aboutwhat
happened.Ipassedt hedoort omyr oom and
wentt ohis.Iwasn'tevensur eifhewasar ound.
I'
venev erbeenmar ri
edbef orebutI '
m certai
n
thatt hisisnothowanewl ywedi ssupposedt o
bef eel i
ng.Themoodwasj ustgloomyanddar k.
Iknockedandmyknockwentunanswer ed.I
tri
edt hehandleandi tgaveint ome.Ipeeped
throughandt herehewas.Sl eepi
ngonhi s
stomachwi t
hjustjeansandunder wear.Ther e
washal ffull
bottl
eofwhi skeyont hepedest al
.
Ther oom wasdar kbecauset hecurtai
nswer e
closed.Ibeganwonder i
nghowl onghehad
beensl eepi
ngthere.Iclosedt hedoorand
wal kedt owardsthebed.It henshookhi m sohe
canwakeup.Hesl owl yraisedhisheadand
squi ntedhiseyesatmel ikehewasi npain.
"
Hey
",hesi
ncer
elygr
eet
ed.
"
Hey
",Igr
eet
edback.
Hethensatupri
ght,
wipedhisf
acewit
hbot
hhi
s
handsandtur
nedtolookatmewithhi
sel
bows
usi
nghisthi
ghsforsuppor
t.
"
Ithoughty
ouhadal
readyl
eft
"
"
I'
m nol
ongerl
eav
ing"
"Oh..That
's.
.Iguess..
",hesai
dandexhaled.I
guesshecoul dn'tf
indtheri
ghtwordst
o
expresshimself.Hiseyesweresev
erel
y
bloodshot
.
"Lookbaby,atthi
spointIdon'
tknowwhatto
saytoyoubecauseIjustfeelli
keyou'
reso
fragi
l
e.Excusemeandf or
givemeinadvancei
f
Isayall
thewr ongthi
ngs".
Headdedt ohisini
ti
albrokenstat
ement.Ij
ust
glaredathim.Hisbarechestwasmakingit
diff
icul
tformetothinkstrai
ght
.Hewasamess
butcontraryt
owhatmi ghtbeanobvi
ous
expectati
on,t
hissi
ghtturnedmeon.There'
s
somet hingaboutseei nghi m wi thaf resh
haircut.Hekeptt alki
ngbuthi swor dswent
throughoneearandoutt hrought heot her .I
wasdaydr eamingandhet houghtIwas
l
istening.It henst oodupandwentt osi tonhi s
thi
gh, inbet weenhi slegs.Hewasseemi ngly
surprisedbyt hi
sbecausehesuspendedhi s
handsi nt hehandsi ntheai rbuthesl owly
broughtt hem backt ohol dme, doubtfully.When
hesawt hatIwasn' tprotesting,het i
ght enedhis
wrapar oundmeandal lowedhi sforeheadt o
standagai nstmyar m withhi seyescl osed.I
heldhi sf aceandhi stemper aturewashi gh.It
wasn' tmedi cal-
attenti
on- seekingf everhighbut
i
twasn' tnor mal either.
..

TOBECONTI
NUED.
..
UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t70.(
UNEDI
TED)
Mixedf eeli
ngshadt hei
rr ecklesswaywi thmy
alr
eadyunst ableemot i
onal selfasIsatonhi s
l
ap.Hi srigi
dlygroundedl egandhi sarm
ensuredcomf or
twi t
houtanounceoff earfor
fal
li
ng.Wecanf i
ghtti
llthesunr isesandset sin
non-endingcy cl
esbutthef actt hatMuzi kayise
i
smyzoarandsaf ehavenwi ll
r emai nunshaken.
Butmysaf ehav enwasn' tokay .Mysaf ehav en
wasdr owningi nthoughtst hatcoul deasilybe
i
nterpretedasst ressevenbyaf ar-f
rom-sober
drunkardacr ossthestreet.
"
Baby?
",Isoft
ly,
lowl
ycall
edout
.Si
l
ence.I
fhe
wasahallIwouldbesur
ehewasempty.
"Khumalo?
".I
fat
tent
ion-
seeki
ngwasabr
andof
cheese,
thi
swouldbeadoublelay
er.
"
Hm!
?",
hef
inal
l
yrepl
i
edashesnappedoutofi
t.
"
Osharp?
"(Ar
ey ouokay
?),
Iasked.Hestar
ed
i
ntomyeyesforabri
efnumberofseconds
bef
orebr
eat
hingoutheav
il
ythr
oughhi
snose.
"I
'
m sor
ry"
.Thatwasf
ir
stt
hingt
ocomeoutof
hi
smouth.
"Whi
chpartareyousorr
yforexact
ly?
"Iasked
asIshotmyey esathi
m,wait
ingforawell
det
ail
edapology.
"Ever ything.Bekungaf anelengi phume
ngiy okhul umanoLi hle.Kodwaangi y'yenzanga
ngenhl osol eyont
o.Bengi set oiletbaby.Ngat hi
ngiy aphumangahl angabezananay eemny ango.
Bes' uy angicelaukuthi siphumel engaphandl e
sikhul ume.Ii ni
ti
all
ysai dnobutshewast oo
i
nsi stentandIwant edt ogeti tov eranddone
withsoIcoul dcomebacki nsidet oyou.
Ungi xol elemommy ?(Ishoul dn'thav ewent
out sidet ogospeakt oLi hle.Idi dn'
tdoi twith
i
nt ent i
on.Iwentt othel ooandIbumpedi nto
herwhenIcameout .Thensheaskedt hatwe
goout sidet otal
k)Her ambl easapl eaf or
forgiv enessal mostmademel augh.Hewasl i
ke
aki
dcaughtst
eal
i
ngi
nacandyst
ore.
"
Thisi
snothowIimagi
nedt
heday
saf
termy
weddi
ngbutt
h..
."
"
Ngi
yazi
sthandwasam kodw.
..
"
"Letmefini
shdaddy
"IsaidasIr
aisedmyhand
i
nt heai
rtocall
himtoorder
.Hethennodded
andpursedhisl
ipst
ogether
.
"Idon'twantt ofi
ghtwi
thyou.Idontwantt
o
stressmy selfout.I
'
mjusthappytobefi
nall
y
mar ri
edtot hemanofmydr eams.Whatever
happens,canhappen.Butjustpromisemeone
thing?"
"
Any
thi
ng"
,hepr
ompt
lyassur
ed.
"
Idontwantthi
sLangel
ihl
ewomani
nourl
i
ves"
.
Hekeptqui
etforal
it
tl
emoment.
"Whati
fthebabyi
smi
ne?Ican'
ttur
nmyback
onher"
.
Iexhal
ed.Iknewv
erywel
lthathesai
dthi
swi
th
ri
gidint
enti
onandther
eforemeanteverywor
d.
Muzikayi
sedoesnotstr
ikemeast hetypeof
mant ositandf
oldhi
shandsknowi ngver
ywell
thataseedheonceplantedisoutt
here
growingsomewherewithouthi
sinvol
vement
.
"Di
dshesendy outhepi
ctur
es?
",Iasked.He
exhal
ed.Heav
il
y .
"
Yeah"
,het
henl
owl
yrepl
i
ed.
"CanIseeher ?"
,Imadet hedaunt i
ngrequest.
Whatifshel ookslikehim?It houghttomy self
ashepul l
edhi sphonef rom underthepil
low.
Hisfi
ngersnav i
gatedhiswayt oWhat sApp.He
thencli
ckedonanunsav ednumberandhanded
thephonet ome.Thechatwasempt y.Hedi dn'
t
evenreplytot hepict
ures.May beIdid.May beI
didoverr
eact .Ivi
ewedt hepictureandIwasl ef
t
voidofwords.
"What'
sonyourmind?"
,heasked.Igotupf
rom
hist
highandwenttosi
tbesi
dehim.
"
Shehasy
ourey
es"
.Isai
dandhej
ustst
aredat
me.
"Andmout h",
IaddedasIf i
xedmyey estothe
darkbrowncar petonthef
loorandsuppor ted
bothmyhandsont heedgeoft hebed.He
i
nsisted.Aft
ereonsofdeadsilence,hefinall
y
decidedtostopobey i
nganddancingt ohis
sil
ence.
"Youthi
nkshe'
smi ne?",
hesaidandIl
ooked
awayinashrug.Het hentookhi
sphoneand
scrol
l
edthescreen.
"Baby
?",sai
dawoman'
svoi
ceonl
oudspeaker
,
answeri
ngthecal
l
.
"
Mus'ukungibi
zanjal
o.Ukephi
?"(
Don'
tcal
lme
t
hat
.Wher eareyou?)
"
Ngi
sekhay
a.Let
'sgoout
?"(
I'
m athome)
"
Wher
eisshe?
"
"
Itol
dyoushe'
sinL.
A"
"
Wel
lIneedherbacki
nSout
hAf
ri
ca"
"
Itwon'
tbet
hateasy
"
"
Ush'
kthi
ni?
"(Whatdoy
oumean?
)
"We'
reapackage.Youcan'tbeapar
tofherli
fe
wit
houthermother.Idon'
twantt
odest
abil
ize
herl
if
e.Shedeservesastabl
ehome"
Iswear.I
fMuzimarri
esthiswomanI'
m packi
ng
everyscr
apcl
othofmineandleavi
nghimfor
good.Iwashavi
ngasilentmonol
oguewith
my sel
fashecont
inuedwithhi
scal
l.
"We'l
lcrosst hatbri
dgewhenwegett her
e.
Rightnow, Ineedy out
obringherbacksowe
cangett hi
spat erni
tyt
estoutt
heway .
Ngiyak'
cela"
"Idon'
tknowhowmanyt imesI
'm supposedto
tel
lyouthatt
hisi
syourdaught
erl
ov e.Buti
fit
'l
l
putyourmindatease,
I'
ll
seewhatIcando"
Muzi
rol
l
edhi
sey
esbef
orehecoul
dsay"
Shar
p".
Hethent
hrewt
hephonebackonthebedand
l
ookedatmewit
hmy st
eri
ousey
es.Icoul
dn'
t
t
ell
whatwasonhismind.
"Hav
ey outoldMabuyiaboutthi
s?"
,Iasked.He
i
mmedi atel
y,anxi
ousl
yshuthiseyesandplaced
hisl
eftpalm onhi
sforehead.
"Youcan'
thi
dethisforev
er.Thesooneryoutel
l
her,t
hebett
er"
.Isaidandstooduptoleave.He
heldmyarm andIrefl
exi
velyt
urnedbackto
l
ookathim.
"I
'
m sor
ryaboutal
lthi
smess.Ir
eal
l
yam baby
.I
di
dn'
tmeanforourweddi
ngtoendint
his
manner
"
"I
t'
sokay.I
'm her
et oful
fi
llmywi f
elyduti
esto
yourf
amilybecauseIdon'twanttobei nthei
r
wrongbooks.AllIaskisforpeacesinceyou
coul
dn'
tgivemeahoney moon".Isaidandwe
l
ockedeyes.
"
Aboutt
hat
,Ihav
eahugef
avourt
oask"
"
Iwonder
..
."If
lat
lysai
d.
"Youstil
lneedabr
eakbaby.Fort
hesakeoft
he
babies.Youcanst
il
lgoawaywhil
eIfi
xthi
s"
"
Bymy
sel
f!
?",
Ishotoutathi
m
"
NoMaDl
ami
ni"
(Wi
thMaDl
ami
ni)
"Areyoutry
ingt
ogetr
idofus?
",Iaskedi
nut
ter
disbel
ief
"
No.Ij
ustwanty
out
ogetsomef
resh.
..
"
"
Sowecancomebackt
oanot
herwi
fe!
?"
"Iam notgonnamar r
yher
.Ipromise",hegentl
y
saidashest ooduptohol
dbot hmyhands.At
thisr
ate,It
hinkI'
m goi
ngtoneedy ogaclasses
soon.
Hisey
esfoll
owedmi
neashecuppedmychi
n
andgazedatme.
"
I'
dneverhur
tyoul
i
ket
hat
..
."
,hesai
dinal
most
awhi
sper
"Promi se?"
,Idesperatelyneededassur ance
from him.Hepl acedhi scold,
sof tl
ipsonmi ne
andsai d"Ngiyathembisast handwasami "(
I
promi se),
hewhi speredashepl acedhis
foreheadagai nstmine.Hishandsl andedonmy
wai stand(REMOVED)

.
..

"Wee..
.weelokhunja"(You..
.whatsyour
name),
AuntThenji
wecalledoutt omeasIwassi tt
ing
i
nt heli
vi
ngroom afterahotbath.Muzi was
outsi
dewiththemenandi twasalready
night
ti
me.
"
Yeboaunt
y?"Isai
dasshest
agger
edherway
i
n.
"Awungi
thit
ypemeher engifunaukubhalel
ale
mbuziIimessengerl
a"(
Pleasetypeformehere
Iwanttowrit
eamessaget ot hi
sgoat).I
wantedtolaughbuti
ttookeveryt
hingfr
om the
deeperdepthsofmysoulnotto.Iwanttoget
outofherbadbooks.
Iremovedmyf eetfr
om thecouchandsat
upri
ght.Shecamet osi
tbesidemeandhanded
meherphone.Shet henlookedbehi
ndheras
sheremov edt
hecushionthatwasdist
urbi
ng
heraimforcomf or
t.
"
Ngi
bhal
eini
?"(
Whatshoul
dIwr
it
e?)
"Bhal
aukuthi
angekengikwaziukufi
ka
namhlanj
engobaanginayoimaliyetr
anspor
t"
"
It
hingi
k'
sizeaunt
y"(
Letmehel
pyouwi
tht
hat
moneyaunty?
)
"Hawu.Ngempela?
"(Real
ly
?),
shesaidwi
tha
bri
ghtandbl
indi
ngsmi l
eonherface.
"Yebo.Uzodi
ngamal
i
n?"(
Howmuchar
eyou
goingtoneed?"
"
Hay
iwenanganey
ami
u-onet
hauzen
faf
handretnjek'phela.Mm"( JustR1500my
chi
ld),shesaidandl ookedup, havi
nghereyes
dancealloverthecei l
ing.Somuchmoneyj ust
totr
aveltothenex tv i
l
lage?Thisquesti
onrang
i
nmyheadbutIj ustsaid"Kulungi
l
e"
"
Nefourhandr
etiyepet
rol
"(andR400f
orgas)
.
Asl
i
ghtlaughescapedmylips.
"
Hawuaunt
y.Awugi
bel
iamat
eki
sikant
i?"
"I
nkingayakhowenamni ni
westinaukuthi
ubuzakakhulu.Yenzal
aphou-t
ypeephela"
(Your
problem i
sthatyou'
ret
ooinqui
sit
ive.Ty
pe"
Aft
errobbingmeofR1900shest i
llwant
smor e?
AndI'm certai
nitwon'tendhere.She'
sprobabl
y
l
eavingthishousewi t
habagf ullofmoney.I
l
aughedi toffandcontinuedty
pingasIwas
employedt o.Shedoesn'tli
kememuchbutf or
someoddr eason,Il
i
keher .

.
..
Mabuyicamebackwi t
haloadofpaperbags
anddr
oppedt hem onthef
loor
.Shethensank
downont hecouchandwentint
oacoma.
"
Tir
ed?
",Iasked.
"That
'sanawardwi nni
ngunderst
atement",she
saidaspul
ledherlegtotakeoffhershoes.I
l
aughedandcontinuedscroll
i
ngmyI nstagram.
"Ukuphi
uMelo?"
(Wher
e'sbabyMel
o?)
sheasked
asshelookedar
ound.
"
Upst
air
ssl
eepi
ng",
Isai
dandt
hrewmyey
est
o
t
hebabymoni
tor
.
"
Uhambi
l
euMal
i
ndi
?"
"
Yeahaboutanhourago",
Irepl
i
ed.Mal
i
ndi
is
Mel
okuhl
e'snanny
.
"Al
ri
ght.Iboughtt
hecutestonesi
esohmyGod" ,
shesai
dasshepul ledt
wopaperbagst owards
herandtookabunchofcl ot
hesout.Igotupto
tositont hesamecouchasher .Shehanded
meonebl ackoneinexci t
ementandsai d"Isn't
i
tthecut est?",
Iadmi r
editunt i
lIsawtheprice.
R800f orasingle,t
inyonesi e?Suchabigpr i
ce
forsuchlitt
lematerial
?Bar elyvi
sibl
ematerial?I
droppedmyj awandt urnedt owardsheri
n
shock.
"
Haibodon'
tj
udgeme.Okuhl
edeser
vest
he
v
erybest
"
"
Hewi
l
lout
growt
hesei
n2seconds"
,Iar
gued.
"ThenI'
llsellt
hem.Si mple"Shesai dasshe
conti
nuedadmi ri
ngt heot herbabyclothes.
Muzi walkedinandsai d"Sanibonani"
.Ihad
completelyforgottent opickmyj awupf rom the
fl
oor.Shel aughedandsai d"Asky ourhusband
whathegotf orhim whenhet urnedamont hold.
Youwi l
lseet hatI'
mt hereasonableonear ound
here"
.Hel ookedatt hebot hofus,confusedas
towhatwewer etalkingabout.
"
Babywhatdi
dyougetf
orOkuhl
e?"
Helaughedandsaid"
You'
regonnajudgeme
j
ustli
keyoursi
sterwi
fedi
dheresoI '
m not
sayi
ngawor d"
.Hesai
dasheper usedthrough
thecl
othes.
"
Tel
lmet
uu"
"Okay.Apr
ivatej
et"
.Ithr
ewmyhandsupi
nthe
airi
ncompletesurr
ender.

.
..

*
Thenextmor
ning*

"
Langel
i
hle'
spar
ent
sar
eher
e".

ThatwasanSMSf
rom Ev
ely
nat07h37i
nthe
morni
ng.
"IswearifMuzimarr
iesthi
swoman..
."
,Iswor
e
asImademywayoutofbedandi nt
omy
sli
ppers.Sh*
tisabouttohi
tthef
an.

UNEDI
TED.

Gugul
ethu-
Mybusband'
swi
fe

I
nser
t71.

Igrabbedmyphoneandmyni ghtgownand
hurri
edlyputi
tonwhi
lewalkingtowardsthe
door.Mabuy i
andIal
mosthitheadswhenI
cameoutasshewasaboutt oknock.Iabrupt
ly
j
ammedbackonmyst eps.
"
Hai
bosl
owdownuy
aphi
?"(
Wher
ear
eyou
goi
ng?
)
"
Uhm.
..down.
.downst
air
s.Yes.Downst
air
s"
Shesli
ght
lyl
aughedandIawkwar
dlyl
aughed
back.
"
Thenwhydoy
oul
ooksoner
vous?
"
"
Ido!?Nono.I'
mjust
..
.notsomuchofa
morni
ngperson.May
bethat'
swhy"
"
Mmmkay .ThereasonI
'm her
eistoaskyouout
f
orlunch.Ifi
guredwecanspendtheday
t
ogethersincehubbyi
snotgonnabeherefor
mostofit"
.Shesaidasshewalkedin.
If
oll
owedher
.
"
Whereishegoi
ng?"
,Iaskedaswebothsaton
t
hebed.Shewasinherl
ongnude,
sil
kpajamas.
"Hedi
dn'
ttel
lyou?Hesai
dsomet
hingabout
Bab'
Ngemaandmeet i
ngupwi
thcoachAviwe
l
astni
ght
"
Mymi
ndpi
nnedmyanxi
etyr
ightont
opoft
he
si
tuat
ionthatwasappar
ent
lygoi
ngon
downstai
rs.
"Mabuyi
?"Icaref
ull
ycal
l
edout.Idi
dn'
tev
en
knowifwhatIwasabouttodowaswithi
nmy
j
obdescript
ionasasist
erwi
fe.
"
Mnax?"Sherepl
iedwit
houtpayi
ngatt
ent
ion
wi
ll
eyesgluedtoherphonescr
een.
"
Doy
ouknowabout
..
?"
"Doyouli
keseaf
ood?"Sheint
err
upt
edbef
oreI
coul
dfini
shmysentence.
"Seaf
ood?"
,Iaskedundert
hei
nst
ruct
ionofmy
scrambl
edbrain.
"
Yeah.Food. .
fr
om the.
.sea?Praaaawnsandthe
l
ikes?"Sheslowlysai
dasi fshewasaddressi
ng
aretard.Il
aughed.
"
I'
m sor
rymanIj
usthav
eal
otonmymi
nd"
"
Wannat
alkabouti
t?"
Iwasaboutt
orespondwhenMuzi
wal
kedi
n
smell
ingli
keabreat
hoffr
esh,power
ful
morningai
r.Hi
scolognei
salwaysi
narusht
o
speakonhisbehal
f.
"Goodmorni
ngmyl oves"
,hesai
dashepl
aced
hisphonei
nhispocketandki
ssedbot
hofour
cheeks.
"Morni
ngbaby"
,"
Mor
ninghubby
".Werepli
edas
hewenttofet
chachai
rtocomesiti
nfrontof
us.
"
Usureadyukuhambanjal
o?"(
Alr
eadyr
eadyt
o
l
eave?)
,Mabuyiasked.
"Yebomommy .Bhekanineh,Ican'tt
hinkofa
betterwaytosayt hissongizovelengiyi
shonj
e
andngi cel
aningiyekengiqedebefore
ningibul
ala"
(Pl
easel etmef i
nishbeforeyouki
ll
me)
"Wenzeni
manjeKhumal o?"(
Whathav
eyou
donenow?),
Mabuyi asked.Hemovedhi
seyes
fr
om hertome.Ial
readyknewwhathewas
abouttosay.Butwhypr
etendasi
fIdi
dn'
t
al
readyknow?
"
Lihl
e'
spar
ent
sar
eher
e"
"
Lihl
e'
sparent
s?",
thatwasMabuyiaski
ngwith
adeathst
arei
nfusedwit
habitofconfusi
on.
"Yes.Li
hle'
spar
ents.Shesay
swehav
ea5y
ear
oldchil
dtoget
her"
"I
ni!!
!?"
(What!
?)Mabuyishotout
.Ij
ustremai
ned
quiet.Iwasn'
taboutt
ohav eanomnibusofafi
t.
"Wheny ousay"shesays",
areyoumeaningt
o
tell
met hatyouneverknewaboutheral
l
along?
"
"No.Idi
dnot
",hesai
d,mai
ntai
ninghi
scal
m
natur
e.
"
Howsur
ear
eyout
hatt
hechi
l
disy
our
s?"
"I
'
m not.That
'swhyIwantaDNAt est"
.Hesaid
andtookouthisri
ngi
ngphonefrom hi
spocket.
Mabuyiputherhandoverhermouthindi
sbel
ief
.
"
Baf
o?"
"Soshe'
sinSouthAfr
ica!
?",
hesaidandI
poppedmyey esathi
m.SoLi hl
eli
edaboutt
he
kidbei
nginL.
A?Mabuy iwasstil
ll
ooki
ngli
ke
l
ukewarm hel
ltr
appedinatight
lyseal
ed
Tupperwar
e.
"Thebi.
..
!Langel
ihl
eisaboutt
odrivemeupthe
wall
",hesaidashestoodupfrom hi
schai
rand
beganpacingtheroom.
"
Kidnap?'
Yahlanyakemanje.Wenajustf
inda
waytogethertoothorhai
rbrushsomehow"
"Ngit
heNOKI DNAPPINGweeNat hi
!Gett
hat
stupi
dideaoutofyourf
uzzyhead"
"Sharpsokhuluma"
(We'l
ltal
k).Hi
sseemingly
drainedselfcamet
ositdowni nfr
ontofus.He
tri
edt aki
ngMabuyi
'shandbutshesharpl
y
pull
edi taway.
"
Ngiy
axol
isasthandwasami
"(
I'
m sor
rymyl
ove)
.
Hesi
ncer
elysaid.
"It
houghtyoual
waysusedprot
ecti
onwheny ou
getuptoyourst
upi
dnogoodway s!?
",she
snappedwithey
esdrapedi
nami ssi
ontokil
l
.
"
Ido.Idi
d"
"
Ifyoudidasyousay
,Phakamani!THENt her
e
wouldn'
tbeanypr
oductofyouri
nfi
deli
ty!
"
"Baby,angazngichazengithi
ni ngobanam
angazikodwal et
'sjustwaitfortheresul
ts
beforeweat t
ackeachot hershal l
we? "(
Idon'
t
knowwher etost ar
texplai
ningbecauseIal so
don'tknowbut..)
"Ungi
jway
elakabi y
azwena.Infactungij
wayel
a
amasimb..
"(You'
refull
ofcr
ap).Hisface
i
mmedi at
elychangedf r
om anapologet
icmeek
cattoaprovokedtiger
.
"
Haibo.Iam st
il
lyourhusbandngat
hi
i
suy
akhohlwa?"(.
..
incaseyoufor
got)
Mabuyi
pursedherf
uri
ousl
ipstoget
herand
l
ookedasi
de.Idi
dthesame.Icoul
dfeelt
ears
fi
ll
ingupmyey es.MaybeIdoneedagetaway .
Thisthoughtkeptmeent ert
ainedami
dstal
lthe
si
lencethateveryonedecidedtomakea
compet i
ti
onof.
"
Uzomshada?
"(Ar
eyougoi
ngt
omar
ryher
?)
"
That
'st
hel
astt
hingonmymi
nd"
"Ofall
thewomeny oucoul
dhav
ehadabust
ard
chil
dwith,
youchoseher?"
"Idi
dn'
tchooseany
bodyorany
thi
ng.Ial
so
don'
t..
.ma?"
Hesaidandansweredhisphonemi
dsent
ence.
Hethenexhal
edafterl
i
steni
ngtowhat
ever
Ev
elynwassaying.
"Okayk'l
ungil
e.Ngiyeza"(
It
'sfine.I'
m coming).
Het hengotupslowlyandbr iefl
ylookedatthe
bothus.Iwasst i
l
llookingawaybutIcoul df eel
hiseyesonme.Hehel dmyshoul dersand
kissedmyf or
ehead.Ididn'tprotest
.Ihadno
energyto.Hetri
eddoi ngthesamet oMabuy i
butshepull
edaway.Heexhal
edfrom appar
ent
exhaust
ionandsai
d"Ngi
yabuya"
(I
'l
lbeback)
Hewalkedoutandthesi
l
enceremained.I
tur
nedtolookatGuguwhonowhadherhand
onherhai
rjustabov
eherfor
ehead.
"
Areyouokay?"
,Ilowl
yasked.Shekeptqui
et
f
oratadbitwhi
le.Shethentur
nedherhead
t
owardsmeandsai d"AreYOUokay?"
,sendi
ng
myquest
ionbackt ome.
"Let'
sgoaway"Isaidasgluedmyey estot
he
floor
.Shewascertai
nlyl
ookingatmel i
keMuzi
hadleftwi
thafewoft hemar bl
est
hatare
responsi
blef
orkeepingmesane.
"
Away
?"
"Umuziwakhouyabhi
dli
kaandall
youwantt o
doistogoonholiday
?"(
Yourhomei sfal
l
ing
apar
tand..
.)
.Sheaddedontoherfi
rstquest
ion.
"Idon'
tknowaboutyoubutIam al
readyt
ir
ed
andIhaveapregnancyt
owor r
yabout.Thi
sis
nothowIi maginedthef
irstweekofmy
marriage.Whethery
ou'r
ecomi ngwit
hornotI
'
m
sti
l
lleaving."
"Yeahwell.
..t
hisi
swhatyougetforgett
ing
mar r
iedtoanimbeci
l
e.Sure.Let
'sgo.The
Seychell
es?"
It
urnedmyheadbackather
.
"
I'
mf i
newit
hanywher
ereall
y.Justasl
ongas
i
t'
sfarandawayf
rom al
lthi
sdrama".
Shenodded.

.
..

"Beni
mel enisonkeleskhat
hini
ngazobikaisi
su
umaseni qhamukamanj e?
"(Whatwereyou
waiti
ngf orallt
hist
imetocomer eportt
he
pregnancyf oryout
opopupnow? )
,Chief
Khumal oexclaimedastheysatoutthetabl
ein
t
hedi
ningr
oom.
Mabuy iandIwer
eeavesdr
oppi
ngwhil
e
balanci
ngourbackswit
hthewal
lj
ustbef
ore
theentr
ance.
"Besi
ngazi
nathinjengomndeni
.Uyewabaleka
ekhayauLi
hle.Khonaebuy
amanje".AmanI
j
ustassumedt obeLihl
e'
sfat
herrepor
tedback.
"
Ayi
hlangani
yonkel
ent
oeniyi
shoyo"
(Ever
y t
hing
y
ou'
vesaiddoesn'
tmakesense"
.Muzisaid.
"I
nf actumbhedowonkeleny i
fi
nyi
fi
eniyikhul
umayo"
(.
.ever
ythi
ngy ou'
vesai
dis
utterrubbi
sh)
.Sabel
oaddedont oMuzi'
s
statementandEvely
nsaid"Languageyout
wo!
"
"HayiMamncane.Uyif
ihl
akanjanii
ngane
i
skhathiesi
dekangakakodwaubuy efuthiuthi
uyamthandaubabaway o?Ayenzekil
eyonto
never
!"(
Howdoy ouhideachildforsolongand
thencomebackandsayy oul
ovethefather?It
's
notpossibl
e)
"Ngi
mf i
hlengobabengazi kahl
eukut hiuMuzi
bengekeamamukel euAv a"(
IhidAv el
elwe
becauseIknewt hatMuzi wasnev ergoingto
accepther).ThatwouldbeLihle.Mabuy i
i
nternal
izedhersarcasti
cyetfumingl augh.
"
Ngempela?
"(Real
ly
?),
Muzi asked.Fr
om t
he
t
oneheusedtoaskthi
s,Ij
ustknewhewas
l
ooki
ngatherdeadint
heeye.
"
Uyayi
kholel
wawenal
entoowuyishoy
o?"
(Do
y
ouev enbel
iev
ewhat
everyou'
resayi
ng
y
ourself
?)
Si
l
encet
hensuddenl
ygr
acedt
her
oom.
"Thinaumesifebel
aintoey'bonakalayokufana
nemal inezi
ndlunamadodaashadi l
enina
nif
ebelaukumi t
ha.Aveibhayizalenganey akho
weeSphiwe.Ay i
mithelwaindodaegani l
e
fakhen"(
Whenwemessar oundwi thmar r
ied
menf orsensibl
ethingsli
kemoneyandhouses
youmessar oundwi ththenonlytogetpr egnant.
Yourchil
disunf
ocusedSphi
we.Youdon'
tget
pregnantf
oramarri
edman"
"
Thenj
i
we!!"
,thatwasalmostever
yoneatt
he
t
abl
ecall
i
nghonor abl
eauntThenj
iwetoor
der
.
"Futhi
uwumakhwapheni onjanwenaomi tha
amitheinganey ent obazana?Uy ayibonalento
engiyi
shoyoy okut hiugqcwel'
i
bhay i
zment ?
"(Whatki ndofsidechi ckarey ou
whoget spregnantwi thagir
l child?Seewhat
I'
mt al
kingaboutwhenIsayy ou'rehighl
y
unfocused?),shecont inuedtosaywi thouta
careinthewor ld.Shesoundedast houghshe
wasnowt aki
ngasi pofwhatIj ustconcludedt o
beherf amous, signaturebeveragewhi l
e
hummi ngintothecup.
"
EyukhonaThenji
weshem!"(
You''
resoful
lof
y
oursel
f)
,thatwaspr
obabl
yLihl
e'
smot her
.
"You'r
enotevensupposedtobehereThenj
i
we
pleasekeepqui
et"
,Evel
ynrepr
imanded.
"Ningi
bonangi langi
mel eusisi
wami kulo
mndeni .Futhinosbaringab'uyangishada
khonakozophel anya!Ukuphaphal okwakho
wenaambassadory eBr it
ini
shantiways.Khiphi
khway ethiyamasimba"(Asyoual l
seemeher e
I'
mr epresenti
ngmyl atesist
er.Thechi efshould
j
ustmar rymesot heambassadorofBr it
ish
air
way scangetof fherhighhorse."Keepqui et"
i
shor sesh* t)
"Yabowenamhlangi
kusakazangempam..
!"
(ThedayIt
hrashy
ouacrossthefacewi
thahot
slap.
.!
)
"Hai
boma! !"
.Muzi saidtoEvelynwhowas
thr
eateni
ngauntThenj iwe.Ilowlylaughedat
howf edupshesounded.Mabuy i
'smind
seemedf arfaraway.Istoppedlaughing
i
mmedi atel
yatt hesightofthisbecauseit
remindedmeoft hepossibl
ef at
eofat hir
dwife.
"Bakit
hi,
masi
yi
qedenlendabangobasek'
fanel
e
ngihambeminamanje"
(Let'
sconcl
udethi
s
matterbecauseIhav
etogo)
,Li
hle'
sfat
her
announced.
"Ngi
celaukukhul
uma?
"(CanIpl
easesay
something?
)
"
Khul
umanganey
ami
"(
Speakmydaught
er)
"I
sizathusangempel asokuthingihambeyonke
l
emi nyakaukuthibengi
sabaukwenzi wa
i
nhlekisaekhay a"
(Therealr
easonwhyIl ef
t
homef orsolongisthatIwasafraidofbei
ng
madeal aughingstockathome)
"I
nhl
ekisa!
?"(
Alaughi
ngst
ock!
?),
awoman
excl
aimed.
"Ehenaaunty.Odadewet hubonkebami thel
e
emendweni ngobaubababef unanjalo.Ngenze
i
phut hangiy
avumakodwabengekengi hlale
ukuthibezobuki
sangami oNokuhl
e.Fut hi
neskolobengakasiqedi"(Yesaunty
.All my
sist
ersgotpregnantwhent heywereal r
eady
mar r
iedbecausethat'
swhatourf atherwant ed.
Imadeami st
akeyesbutIwasn'
tgoi
ngtost
ay
fort
hem tomakeamocker yofme.Ialso
wasn'tdonewithmymasters.
)
Muzi
scof
fed.
"Ewu.Yebokunjalondodana.Kwami i
ngane
ayi
mi t
hiswaungekay i
shadi.Ungenzel
'i
phutha
eli
khulukabi"
(I
tisindeedli
ket hatmyson.Inmy
house,youdon'timpregnateanydaughterof
mineoutofwedl ock.Youhav emadeav erybig
mistakeinmybooks) ,thechiefsai
d,obvi
ousl
y
dir
ecti
ngt hi
stoMuzi .
"Whoabakit
hi.Kuyi
manjeasazinomaey al
a
ekhay
alenganenomacha" (Atthi
spointwe
don'
tevenknowwhet hert
hischil
disourblood
ornot
),Evel
ynsaid.
"
Eyenulengani
.Futhi
ngabesesikhul
umange
l
obolamanje"
,thewomaninsi
sted.
Ihear
dachai
rscrat
chi
ngthef
loorasi
f
somebodywasnowstandi
ngup.
"Unti
lther
eisaDNAtest,
thismeet
ingisov
er"
,
Muzi sai
dandwenttopul
ltheexi
ttothe
outsi
deopen.Somebodyfol
lowedhim.
"Phakamani
!Muzikay
ise!
",chi
efKhumal
ocal
l
ed
outbuthi
sdeli
nquentsonkeptwalki
ng.

.
..

"Yourfoodisgonnagetcol
d",Isai
dtoMabuy
i
asIindulgedontheprawnthatmyfinger
s
clut
chedon.
Shebroughtherat
tenti
onfr
om whereveri
twas
wanderi
nginthemilkywaybacktome.She
thenpushedthepl
ateawayfrom herand
exhal
ed.
"
Whyareyousocalm aboutt
his?Hecould
mar
ryher
",sheaskedandIconti
nuedchewing.
"
Ifhedoes,
I'
mleav
ing.Per
iod"
,Iconf
ident
ly
saidbecauseIhadnodoubtfulsecond
thought
s.Myhealthalongwit
hmybabi es'
comesbef or
ehim andhisbabymamadr ama.
Shelookedmebr i
eflybef
oreshecouldrai
se
herhandtowavef ortheatt
ent
ionofthewait
er.
Hegottoourtableandshei mmediat
elysai
d
"CanIhaveyourbestbottl
eofredwine?"
"
Ourbestbottl
eisquit
epriceyma'
am and
you'
vealr
eadyfi
nishedthi
sone.Woul
dy ou
mindaglass?Whichoneofy oui
sdri
ving?"The
wait
eraskedashebenthisbackabit
,leaning
t
owardsuswi t
hhishandonhi st
ummy .
"DoIlookl
ikesomebodywhohasi
ssues
aff
ordingt
hings?
"
Ial
mostlaughedbutst
rongl
ydecidednott
o.
Mabuyiwastaki
ngoutherfr
ustr
ationsont
he
poorguy.
"
Iam sosorr
yma'am.ThatisnotwhatI
i
ntendedt
oimpl
y.
.".Sheexhal
edandbrought
herhi
ghchestdown.
"
For
giveme.I
'
mjust
..
.br
ingt
hatbot
tl
enowwi
l
l
y
ou?"
"Comi
ngri
ghtup"
.Whenhewasaboutt
owal
k
awayTl
hogiwal
kedi
n.
"
WhatinSkolopad'
snamearethetwoofyou
weari
ngJesus!?
"Hescreamedall
thewayfr
om
t
herestuar
antentr
anceandeachandev
eryeye
l
andedonourtable.
Mabuyifr
ownedinannoyanceandsai
d"I
sn'
the
supposedtohav
eleftal
ready
?"
"
Evi
dent
lynot
",Ir
esponded.
Herushedtoourt
ableandashewasaboutto
speak,aguyi
nablacksui
tappr
oachedhi
m and
sai
d" Si
rcany
oupleasekeept
henoised.
..
"
"
Cany
ouspel
lnoi
se!
?",
Tlhogi
shotoutathi
m.
Mabuyi
laughed.May
behei sexact
lyj
ustwhat
weneedri
ghtnow.Ithoughtt
omy sel
f.
UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t72.

"Howarey oufeeli
ng?",Tl
hogiaskedashe
pull
edthechairfr
om thenexttable,l
eav
ingthe
managerjuststandingther
e,ogli
ngathim.He
fi
nall
ygaveupandwal kedaway .
"
Yougav
eal
lofusaf
ri
ght
",headded.
"
I'
mfi
nenowt
hanks.Whyhav
en'
tyoul
efty
et?
"
"Andl
eav
eal
lthi
sfreshZulumeatunatt
ended?
",
hesai
dandf
laggedawaiter'
sat
tent
ion.
Mabuy
iandIl
aughed.Herwinear
rivedandshe
i
mpati
ent
lywel
comeditint
oherglass.
"Hel
l
ohi.CanIpleasehaveyourfamouschops?
Medium?Togo" ,
Tlhogisai
dtothewaiterashe
wasabouttoleave.Hecourt
eouslynot
edit
downandleftourtabl
e.
"Besides,Ineedabr eak.AndKZNi stheper fect
placeformet oachiev ethat",
hecontinuedt o
sayashet ookGugu'sglassandgul pedi tdown.
Shet hinnedhereyesathi m andhemadea
satisf
iedsoundbyl oudlyreleasi
nghist ongue
from theroofofhismout h.Sheshookherhead
andwentaheadt odr i
nkf r
om thebottle.
"Iwouldsayy ou'r
esufferi
ngf r
om my -husband-
j
ust -
got-
mar ri
ed-t
o-another
-mansy ndromebut
sinceyou'reevenhav i
ngluncht ogether,you
needt ostartexpl
aini
ngwhyy ou'r
esl owing
subjecti
ngust oashowofy out urningintoan
alcoholi
c?",herambledasshepr oceededt o
drownherent iredi
gestivesystem inredwi ne.
Shef i
nall
yputt hebottl
edownwi thbot hour
eyesonher .
"
What
?",
sheaskedandshr
ugged.
"Ar
ey ougoi
ngt otellmewhat
'seatingyouup?I
oncedidpsychologyatsomepointtryi
ngto
i
mpr essmyungr atef
ulpar
ent
ssol etmeputit
t
ogooduse"
"I
t'
sreal
l
ynot
hing.Ij
ustl
ovemyalcohol
",she
sai
dandcont
inuedtodri
nk.Thewai
tercame
backwit
haspeedpointandabrownpaperbag.
Tlhogiscannedhimf r
om topt otoe.Whatcame
nextwashi m asking"Isthefoodwar medupor
yallcookusingblackmagi c?".Thewait
er
l
aughedandsai d"Somebodyhadmadeal arge
ordermoment sbeforeyouandt heycancell
ed.
They '
rest
il
lfreshtrustme"
"Mm- mmm" ,
her epl
i
edwi t
hnoattempt
whatsoevert
ohidehissuspici
ons.Hetookout
hiscardandpaidandInoticedMabuyi
wasi na
deepbattl
ewithherthoughts.
Tl
hogigotupi
nhi
sthi
gh-
exposi
ngshor
tsand
fl
i
pfl
ops.
Heki
ssedmycheekandt
henMabuy
i'
s.
"
I'
ll
seey ouar
oundzi
thandwa.Wena,al
cohol
wi
llnotsol
veanyofy
ourproblems.I
fanyt
hing,
you'
remostl i
kel
ytowakeupt oadoubl edload
ofthem onceyousoberup.Toodl es"
,hesaid
andMabuy iconti
nuedtopourintoherglass.
Shetookasi pandsaid"Understood"
.Tlhogi
shookhisheadandl ef
tthetable.

.
..

Mabuy iandIspenttheent i
redayatthe
restuarantbecauseshewasr efusi
ngtoleave.
Shewasnowhal fwayt hr
oughhert hi
rdbott
leof
winer egardl
essofmuchIt ri
edt oconvi
nceher
otherwise.Muzi cal
ledandsai dweshould
comebackhomeaf teraski
ngwher ewewer e.
"Mabuy
iiti
snow7andwe'vebeenher
esi
nce2.
Let
'sgohome",
Ipl
eaded.
"One..
."
,shesai
dandr
aisedonef
ingerf
rom her
unstabl
ehand.
"Onewhat?",Ii
mpati
ent
lyaskedbecauseIwas
ti
redandallIwant
edwast otakeahotshower
andsleep.
"Onemor e.
..onemor esecondandt hen...and
thensizohambaneeeeehh" ,shesai dandher
headf ellt
owar dsherchest .Shet r
iedpour ing
somemor ewinebutt heglassf ellandstained
thetablecloth.Allshehadt osayf orherself
was" Oooops"andl aughed.It ookthebot tl
e
from herandsai d" Okaythat'senough.
Masambe" .Sher espondedwi tha" ssshh"asi fI
wast alki
ngwhenIwasn' tsupposedt o,looked
aroundandbeganl aughi
nghy ster
ical
ly.Igotup
from thetableandt hrewmyphoneandpower
bankint omybag.
Themanagerapproachedusandsai
d"Ma'am
areyouokay?Shoul
dIcallacabf
orthebothof
you?
",di
rect
ingthi
stome.
"NoI'
ll
driv
e.Thankyousomuch.I
'm sor
ry
abouttheclot
h.Howmuchisthedamagegoi
ng
t
ocostus?
"
"Noit'
sokay.Wehaveabudgetf ormoment s
l
ikethese.I
'm mor
ewor r
iedaboutyourfr
iend
here"
.HesaidandIlookedbackonlytofi
ndher
completel
ydozedoffonthetabl
e.Iexhal
edin
exhausti
on.
"Andhowam Isupposedt
ogethertothecari
n
thi
sstat
e?Mabuyi!
?",
Isai
dandtr
iedtowake
herup.
"I
'
ll car
ryherouti
fthatwill
help".Heoff
eredand
Ithoughtaboutit
.Itwaspr ett
ydarkoutsi
deand
struggli
ngwithherbymy selfwasonlygoingt
o
bringmecr i
minalatt
enti
on.
"
Okay
.Thanky
ousomuch.Pl
easebr
ingt
hebi
l
l"
Isankdownonmychai r.Therestuarantwas
nowal mostemptyexcept,somewomanwho
waswor ki
ngonherlapt
opandanot herlove
si
ckt eenagecoupleatafarcornerholdingand
ki
ssinghands.Iplacedmyhandonmyneck
andtwistedit.All
myexhaustionwas
concentr
atedt her
e.AsIwasdoi ngthis,
Isaw
MuziandMQwal kingi
n.Thewaitercamewi th
thebil
landashewasaboutt ogiveittome
Muzitooki tf
rom him.Icoul
dseehewas
shockedf r
om howmuchwespentononet abl
e
i
nonedaybuthet ookouthi
scar dandsettl
edit.
MQ'
sey
eswer
eonMabuy
ithewhol
eti
me.
"Howmuchdi dshedri
nk?",
Muzi askedashe
tr
iedgetti
ngheroutt
hetable-
to-
chair
arrangement
.
"Nott
hatmuch",
Ili
ed.Hehandedhisphone
andcarkeyst
oMQandcar riedheri
nhisar
ms.
Hergoldsl
i
desfel
loffherf
eet.
"Ngempela?"(
Honestl
y?),Manqobaasked,
dubiousl
y.Ij
ustkeptquiet
.Itookbothourbags
andhershoesandwewal kedout.Manqoba
unlockedthecarandIgotinthebackseat
.Muzi
placedMabuy it
hereandherheadonmyt highs.
Ipl
acedmyhandov erherhai
randotherf
ell
acr
ossherchest
.Theyalsogotint
hecarand
Muzidr
oveoff.

.
..

WegothomeandEv
ely
nwasout
sidewat
eri
ng
herpl
ant
s.
Igotoutofthecarwi t
hourbelongingsand
Muzi cametocarryMabuyiout .Sayi
nghewas
pissedwouldjustbemedividinghismoodby3.
Hegent l
ytookheroutandEv elynsaid"
What
happenedtoher ?
",shewasasecondaway
fr
om panicki
ng.
"Alcoholhappened",Manqobasaidashet yped
onhi sphone.Evely
nr el
easedaf l
at"Oh"and
droppedherhands.Muzi cont
inuedt owal
kint
o
thehouseandIf oll
owedhi m.Wegott o
Mabuy i'
sroom andhecar eful
l
ypl acedheron
thebedandlef
t.Ihel
pedheroutofherj
eans
andint
oherpajamas.It
henclosedher
windowsandleftaswel
l.

"Knockknock" ,Il
owlysaidasIstoodatMuz i'
s
wideopendoor .Heturnedbackandl ookedat
mewhi letakingoffhiswatch.Hisface
sof t
enedwi thav erybri
efhuffofalaughand
said" Ngenai fawulumi"(
Comei nifyoudon't
bite).Ilaughedandwal kedin.Hegent l
ypull
ed
mebymywai standkissedmeonmyl i
ps.I
didn'trespondt othekiss.
"Hawu.Yini
manje?
"(Whati
sitnow?
)Hesai
d
anddroppedhi
sarms.
"Ihopeyounowhav eaclueofwhat'sgoingto
happentoshoul
dy oudecidetobri
ngt his
womani nt
oourli
ves.Asimfuni
"(
Wedon' twant
her).Hecl
osedhi
soneey eandexhal edbefore
wipinghi
sfacewit
hhishand.Het hent ookof
hi
stshi
rtandhi
ssneaker
sfol
l
owed.
Hewal
kedi
ntot
hebat
hroom andcameback
wi
thawetf
ace.
"Ngicelaning'chazeleukut hi l
ememoy okuthi
ngifunananomf aziomuny ephezukwenu
nobabi l
ini
y '
thathaphi?"(Pleaseexpl
aint
ome
whatwher ey ougott hismemot hatnot
if
iedyou
thatI'
ml ookingf orat hirdwi f
e?)
.Heaskedand
l
ookedmei nt heeyewi thonehandunderhi s
armpi tandtheot herov erhi smouthinaloose
fi
st.Ipursedmyl ipsandl ookedaway.
"
Whydidyoupret
endasi
fIdi
dn'
tal
readyknow
whatwasgoi
ngonwhenyoutol
dher?"
,Iasked.
Hedr
oppedhi
shandsandsatont
hebed.
"Ihav
eenoughpr
obl
ems.Af ightbet
weent
he
twoofyouist
hever
ylastt
hingIneedri
ght
now".
.
..

"
Vul
alebagThenj
i
we!
"(
Opent
hisbagThenj
i
we!
)
These4wor
dsser
vedasmyunsol
i
cit
edal
arm
i
nthemorni
ng.
"Hamb' uy opr acti
serl obuntshingil
anebakhol e
kudeneskhwamasami Evening!"(
ifyouwantt o
practi
cehowt obeasecur ityguar dgodoi telse
where,noti nmybagEv el
yn!),auntyThenj iwe
said,i
nherbl ueov erall
sandbl ackconv erse
sneakers.Ev elynwasst il
li
nherni ghtgown.I
walkedoutofmyr oom andsawManqobaand
thechiefcomi ngupt hestairs.Evelynmanaged
tosnatcht hebagandzi pitopen.Thenj iwe
grabbedi tf r
om herandagol dv asef el
ltot he
fl
oorandshat teredint oami lli
onpi ecesalong
withherlot ionsandot hertoil
etri
es, i
ncluding
l
emonl i
te.Doesn' tshehav eat oil
etrybag?
"
Bukawenzeni
manj
e!Uzongi
nikal
emal
il
e
bengizoyit
holangok'
dayi
salent
o
swayini!
?"(
Lookwhatyou'
vedone!Areyou
goingtogivemet hemoneyIwould'
vegot
ten
fr
om selli
ngthis!
?"
"Haibokwenzenj
ani
manje?Ma?Aunty?",
Manqobaaskedashim andthechi
efcameto
standnextt
otheTom andJerr
y.
"Ha!Ican'
tbel
i
ev ey
ou.
..
",Ev
ely
nlowl
ysai
d,
almostinawhisper
.
"Babashej ustbr okemymostexpensi
vev ase!
",
shethenshout edassheknel
tont hef
loorto
gatherthepi eces.Anequi
val
enttoadeadbaby
i
nherey es.Auntywentontopickupherthings
from t
hef loor.
Thechiefqui
cklygothertogetupfrom the
fl
oorandsaid"Okayokaykulungi
lengizothenga
enye"
(I
'l
lgetyouanotherone),
hesof t
lysaid
wit
hhishandsonhershoul der
s.
"
Anot
herone?Thi
swasagi
ftbaba.Andnotj
ust
anygif
t.Anexpensi
ve,anci
ent,i
mpor t
edgi
ft
!A
l
imit
edediti
on!"
,shesaidwithabreaki
ngvoi
ce.
Thechiefl
ookeddefeated.
"
KodwaThenj
iweuyamhl
ukumezaumfazi
wam"(
You'
rehar
assi
ngmywifeThenj
i
we)
"Bekuy
imalinil
ev as?
"(Howmuchwasthis
vase?)
,auntyaskedwithherhandsi
nher
pocket
slikethegangstershei
s.
"R85Kyouuncul
tur
edi
dio.
..
!!
",Ev
ely
nst
opped
hersel
ffr
om f
ini
shi
ngt
hesentence.
"Songilahl
ekel wey imaliengakangenxa
yakho!?"(
SoIl ostt hatmuchmoneybecauseof
you!?)
,sheaskedwi thherey espopped.Icould
neverunder standt helogicthatauntThenjiwe
usestobehonest .Shelivesinawor ldofher
own.Muzi cameoutofhi sroom andsai d
"Umsindoowani eksenikangaka? "(
Whyt he
noisesoear lyint hemor ning?)
,clearl
yirr
it
ated.
Nobodypai dat tentiontohi m.Hismot her
chargedof fandt hechieffol
l
owedher .Aunt y
Thenjiwezi ppedupherbagandsai d
"Banta'
bam, ngi
zonbonasecondhal f
",clutchi
ng
herspor t
sbagunderherar m andthestraps
overshoulder .Weal lbi
dhergoodby eandshe
randownt hestairs.Ibett
hev aseisnott he
onlythingshest ole.
Manqobalaughedwhil
eshaki
nghi
sheadand
Muzist
ret
chedhisarmsandneck.
"Ngi
s'thol
ilel
esast
uffbaf
o"(
Imanagedtoget
thestuffbafo)
.Muzii
mmediatel
yst
oppedwit
h
hisaerobicsandl
ookedathi
m.
"
Youdi
dn'
thur
tany
onedi
dyou?
"
"
Ngul
ubeang'
sonai
sli
ma"
(I
'm notaf
ool
youpi
g)

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t73.
Ifeel l
i
keacur i
ouski dranintothet ime
machi nemeantf ormyent i
reli
feandexi stence.
Theexci t
ementf rom thi
snewt oyr esultsin
them pr essi
ngi teverymor ni
ngandt wiceinthe
afternoon.Ev eryt
hingisamess.Af astmess.
Just2mi nutesago, Iwasj ustasi mpl esingle
girlgoingaboutherl if
e,herjob, andher
business.Now, Iam achr onical
lyst ressed,
pregnant ,mar r
iedwoman.Di dIment ion
pregnant ?Pregnantwi thtwinsfr om a
polygamousman.Wonder sl ovebei nginmy
presence.Theyenj oymycompany .

Theset hought
sfl
oodmymi ndasIl aybedi n
thedarkwi t
hmyhandsov ermyt ummy .I
twas
4AM andIhadnotgot t
enanysl eep.Icouldn'
t
stopthinki
ngandworry
ingaboutMabuy i
.Which
i
sanot herwonderImanagedt oat t
ractand
secure.Whowould'v
ethoughtt hatoneoft he
thoughtsIwouldbehavi
ngsl eeplessnights
overasamar r
iedwomanwoul dbeifmysi ster
wifeisemotionall
yokay?Myl i
feisonebi g,f
at
LOLwi thanafro.Ihav
en'tbeencheckingmy
emai l
sforawhi l
enow.Somuchf ora
businesswoman.Wayt ogoBet so.You'redoing
great!Thatwasmymet a-
selfbei
ngsar cast
ic.

Ifi
nal
l
ysnappedoutofi
tanddeci
dedt
ocall
my
bestf
ri
end.I
trangf
orawhil
ebefor
ehecoul
d
pi
ckup.
"Whatwronghav eIdonet oGodtodeser
vea
cal
lathal
f-past4inthemor ni
ng?Lordwhy
haveyouforsakenme? ",
hecompl ai
nedi
nhis
sl
uggishandsleepyvoice.Il
aughed.
"Yousoundt
ir
ed.I'
l
lcal
lyoulat
er"
,Isai
dbef
ore
Icoul
dremovethephonefr
om myear .
"
Wai
twai
twai
t.
..
!"Hepr
ompt
lycal
l
edout
.
"
Keeng?
"(Whati
sit
),Iasked
"Youra*
*isnotokay
.What
'sup?
",hesai
d.He
soundedmoreali
ve.
"
Arg,
Ijustmi
ssmymom.Ij
ustmi
ssy
ouguy
s"
"Thisissomet hi
ngyouwould'v
eeasil
ytext
ed
andnotcal l
edmeatwi t
chcr
aftcl
osi
ngtimes
for.Youcallmeear l
yinthemorni
ngwheny ou
hav esomethingbigtoannounceorwhen
there'
sabr i
ckony ourchest
.Outwit
hit"
,he
i
nsi st
ed.Iexhaled.
"
Idon'
tknowbes.I
'
mjust
..
.ar
g"
"Iwouldsayt
akeyourti
me,butIdon'
thaveall
day.Someofusdon'thavet
heluckofrunning
i
ntorichmen.Pl
easespeak"
,hescolded,andI
l
aughed.
"
Wellther
e'sapossibi
li
tywemi ghtbreakup
wi
ththeri
chman" ,Isai
d,anditimmedi atel
yhi
t
methatMuzi coul
dgenuinel
y,actual
l
y ,honest
ly,
r
eal
lymarrythiswoman.
"
Troubl
einpar
adi
seal
ready
?"
"
Kinda.Babymommadr
ama"
"
Hoursago,
shewasmnax.Nowshe' sbaby
momma?Iknewthisshar
ing-
a-manbusi ness
wi
ll
nothaveahappyendi
ng",hesaidandt ook
asi
pofwhatev
erhewasdr i
nking.
"NoMabuy iandIarefine.Somewoman
poppedupwi thanotherbabycl
aimi
ngshe'
s
his"
,Isai
d,andhechoked.
"
Excuseme.What
?",
hesai
dinbet
weencoughs.
"
Yeah.A5-
year
-ol
dbaby
"
"Fi
ve!
?Whatintheact
ual
somer
saul
ti
ngf
**k!
?",
heexclai
med.
"Yup"
,Isai
dandpl
ayedwi
tht
het
opoft
he
comfort
er.
"
Howdi
dMuzi
reactt
oal
loft
his?
"
"Tobehonestwi
thyou,
Idon'
tknowwhat
's
goingoni
nhishead"
"
Heneedst
oputhi
ssper
msonal
eash"
,hesai
d,
andIkeptqui
et.
"
Andwena?Howar
eyouandt
hebaby
?"
"
Uhm.
..aboutt
hat
..
."
"
Yyy
-eeass?
?",
hesai
dinant
ici
pat
ion
"I
t'
sactual
lytwobabi
es"
,Isaidandclosedmy
eyeswaiti
ngforhi
mtoreact.I
ttookhim af
ew
secondsforhimtodi
gestwhatIjustsai
d.
"
Youmean. .
.youact
ual
lymean..
.ohmysweet
God!
",hesai
dinexci
tementandIlaughed.
"We'
rehavingtwi
ns?"
,heaskedaf
terhewas
donecol
lecti
nghimsel
f.
"
Yes,
wear
e"
"OMG.Icanalreadyseethe3quar t
eronesies
I
'm gonnagetthem wit
hdesi gnerbabyshoes".
Hesai dandIl
aughed.Wecont i
nuedtal
king
unti
lInoti
cedwe'vebeentalkingforawhileand
theclockwasreport
ingthatitwasnow06h07.
Wesai dourgoodbyesandIgotoutofbed.Idi d
themostsensiblethi
ngtodoi nt
hemor ni
ng,
whichwast obrushmyt eet
handhav eahot
bath.Awarml ongsleev
ed,bluecot
tondress
wascalli
ngmynamebecauseoft heweather.I
wrappedabr owndoekonmyheadandsl idi
nto
greypeep-t
oeslipper
s.

.
..

"Knockknock",IsaidasIsoft
lyknuckl
ed
Mabuy i'
sdoorwithmyphonei nmyot herhand.
Sheallowedent r
yandIwalkedintohersit
ti
ng
withonel eghangingandhersit
ti
ngont he
otheront hebed.Shehadherfinger
sonher
temples,massagingherhead.
"Goodmor
ning"Isof
tl
ysai
dasIset
tl
edont
he
bed.
"Notsoloudnawe.Morni
ng",shesai
dasshe
conti
nuedmassagingherheadlooki
ngl
i
keshe
hadbeensmashedbyat
rai
nthepr
evi
ousni
ght
.
"
Whathappenedl
astni
ght
?",
sheaskedwi
thout
l
ooki
ngatme.
"Let
'sjustsayyoudranktheenti
rebar
,si
gneda
contract
,wavulanesekhel
e"Isai
dasIunlocked
myphone.Isi deeyedher,andshehadhereyes
poppedi napanic.
"
Namanga!
?Whatcontr
act
?",
shesai
d,leani
ng
t
owar
dsme,asecondawayfr
om afr
enzy.
"YouboughtI-
Eatslastnight.Aket
sebegobul a
mangcausebossl adyi ssti
lli
nherpy j
amas",I
saidandkeptastraightface.Sheslowlyr
aised
herhandtoplaceitoverheropenmout h.
"Tel
lmeyou'
rej
okingBet
so.Andyouletme?",
sheaskedwi
thherhandoverherf
oreheadnow.
"How?Itdoesn'
tmakeanysense.OkayI
rememberwegott hereandat
e.Ihadmyf irst
bott
leatthatt
ime.Andthenaf
terthatwe..
."she
sai
dasshet ri
edputti
ngthepi
ecestogether
andIcouldn'tholditi
nany more.Iexpl
odedin
fi
tsoflaughter.Shelookedatmei ndefeatand
beganlaughingaswel l.Sher
eallyhadzero
energyforanything.
"Aveuwr ongshem.Yazuwr ongkabhl ungu
kanjan?"(You'
resowr ongforthi
s),shesaid, and
Icontinuedlaughing.Shethrewthel i
ght
burgundycushi onatmeandi tf
elltothefloor.I
couldn'tstopl
aughing.Sheresortedt oalazy
"Mciim"andpl ayedwithhermani cures.
"
Butonaseriousnotethough,
don'
tev
erdr
ink
l
i
kethat
.It
'snotsafe"
"
Ubukhonanj
ewena"(
Buty
ouwer
ether
ewi
th
me)
"Icould'
veeasi
lypai
dattent
iontoanother
personintherest
aurantorsteppedoutfor
possiblyany
thi
ng.Whatifsomebodyt ook
advantageofyou?"
"
IknowIknow.UHubsungi
boni
l
e?"
(Di
dhubs
seeme?),sheaskedandbi
therl
owerl
i
pinf
ear
ofmyresponse.
"Hedidn'
tonlyseeyou.Hecar r
iedyououtof
thedamnpl ace"
,Isaid,
andshei mmediatel
y
buri
edherheadi nherthi
ghswi t
hherhands
overit
.Sheroseupagai nandsaid,"
Ionce
sworethatthiswouldneverhappenagain",
she
saidandbithernail
s.
"Yeahwell
.What'
sdoneisdone.Justdon't
dri
nkli
kethatev
eragain.Youshouldjustst
op
withal
coholi
ngeneral
nje",Isai
d,andshe
j
erkedherheadwithat
tit
ude.
"
Awuhlanyi
per
haps?
"(Ar
en'
tyoucr
azy
?).I
l
aughedandst
oodup.
"Uyaphi
?Don'tleavemehere.I
fIhadtobe
carri
edintot
hishousethatmeansever
ybody
sawwhatamesswhatIwas.Howam Iev er
goi
ngt oleav
et hi
sroom?God!",
shesaidand
putbothhandsonbot hcheeksi
n
embar r assment .Iwasaboutt or espondt oher
whenast enchofeggshi tmynost ril
s.I
i
mmedi atel
yputmyhandov ermymout hand
rant oherbat hroom.If eltmykneeshi tthehard
fl
oorasIbeganwor shippingt hepor celainGod.
Ithrewmygut sout .Ihear dv oicesint he
bedroom, andshecamei ntot hebat hroom after
whoev ershewast alkingt ohadl eft
.Shewas
standingov ermebr ushingmyshoul der.AfterI
wasdonev omi tingal ltheener gy,Ihadi nme,
myey esf el
l onherbar efoot.
"
Mor
ningsi
ckness?
",sheasked.
"
Ithi
nk"
,Isai
dinal
mostawhi
sper
.
"Sorr
y.Theybroughtbreakfast
.Ithi
nkit'
sthe
eggs.Mynostril
swer ealsoverystr
ongtheir
funct
ionwithOkuhle"shesaid,andIjust
nodded.
"You'
l
lcomeoutmus'uri
ght
?",shesai
d,andI
noddedagai
n.ShewalkedoutandIfi
nall
y
gat
heredthestr
engtht ogetupandri
nsemy
mouthandsubsequent l
ywashmyf ace.Ihear
d
voi
cesagainaft
erIclosedthetaptostopthe
swi
ftwaterfr
om running.
Iwasaboutt
ost epoutwhenIhear
dMuzi
say
ing"I
'
m hurt
ingyouallov
eragai
nar
en'
tI?
"
Mabuy
ikeptqui
et.
"
I'
m gonnaf
ixt
hisbabyIpr
omise.Iwasnot
l
yi
ngwhenIsaidI'
m donewi
ththatl
if
e"
"
Fixi
thowKhumal
o?Whati
fthechi
l
disy
our
s?"
"
Shei
smi
ne"
"
What?
"Mabuy isai
dina'Idar
eyou;
Itr
ipl
edar
e
y
outorepeatt
hatMF' v
oice.
IwalkedoutandwipedmymouthasifIhadnot
heardawor d.Mabuy
idi
dnotmoveherthi
nned
eyesfrom hi
m.
"
Baby?
",hesai
d.Hewascl
ear
lysur
pri
sedt
osee
me.
"
Yes?
"
"
Yes,
ushomi
na?
"(I
sthaty
esdi
rect
edt
ome?
)
Idesperatel
ywantedtorollmyey esandthrow
hi
m withanent i
reblockoffl
atsatthatpoint,
butIcontainedi
t.Ichosetocontaini
t.Mabuy i
fi
nall
yturnedtome.
"
Arey
ouokaynow?
",sheasked.
"
Mm"
,Imumbl
edt
oindi
cat
ea"
yes"
.
"
Okayf
rom what
?What
'sgoi
ngon?
"
"Hav
esomemil
k.Itusedt
ohel
pme.Idon'
t
knowifi
twi
l
ldoyouanygoodt
hough"
"Thanks,I
'l
ltr
yit.Ifyou'llexcuseme, Ineedto
nap",
Isaidandnev ergaveei t
herofthem a
chancetorespond, takingmyphonef rom the
bedwithme.Iwentoutandf oundmy self
paci
ngupanddowni nthepat i
o.So,i
t's
confi
rmed?Ev el
ynwal kedinwear i
ngabl ack,
ti
ght-
fi
tt
ingkneel engthdr esswi t
hgoldstil
ettos.
Shehadhernat uralhai
rstyl
edanddeepr ed
l
ipsti
ckon.Shewasn' texpecti
ngtofind
anybodytherejudgingfr
om howstartledshe
was.Shehel dont oherchestandsaid,"Chi
ld
youwi l
lgi
vemeahear tatt
ack"andlaughed
nervousl
y.Ichuckledandapologi
zed.
"I
t'
sokay .Havey ouhadbreakf
ast?Ior deredfor
i
ttobedel i
ver
edt oyourr
oom oht hanky ou
darli
ng",shesaidandtookherblackjacketwi t
h
halfsleevesandgoldhandbagfrom oneoft he
helps.Theysmi l
edtooneanotherbef oreshe
couldexcuseher sel
f.
Evel
y ntookherMacBookairfr
om thetabl
eand
shoveditint
othebagwhil
er ambl
ingaboutt he
feminineheal
thNPOmeetingshehadt oattend.
From herramble,
Ifi
gur
edshewast hekey
not e
speaker.
"Ar
ey oual
ri
ght?Wher
earethosecarkey
s",sai
d
whil
eperusi
ngthr
oughherbag?Herbusybody
sel
fwasatitagai
n.
"
You'
redr
ivi
ngy
our
sel
ftoday
?",
Iasked.
"Yebo.Ngi
zwangathisengi
yakhohlwaukuthi
kushayel
wakanjani
.Icanfeelt
helessons
l
eav i
ngmybodyt hr
oughsweat",shesai
d,andI
l
aughed.Thandowalkedin.
"
Youlookdapper
.Heysi
s",shesai
dtoher
mot
herandwentontogreetme.Shewassti
l
l
i
nherpyj
amas.
"
Mor
ning"
,Igr
eet
edback.
"
Thanky
ou,baby
.Nowyourdappermot
heri
s
r
unni
nglat
enowI'l
l"
"
That'
safir
st"
,Thandoi
nter
rupt
edher
.Ev
ely
n
l
aughed.
"IknowhoneyIknow.I 'l
lseeyoukids"
,shesai
d
asshegat heredherstufft
henleft
.Thandoand
Icarri
edonspeaki ngwithmymi ndcasual
ly
runningoffresul
ti
nginmemi ssingoutonsome
ofthethingsshesaid.
"SisIneedafavour"
,shesai
dasshegotup
from thechai
rshewasseatedonacrossme
andcamet osi
tnexttome.Ij
ustknewshewas
upt onogood.
Il
ookedatherwit
hasuspi
cioussmi
leanddi
d
notr
espond.Shetookmyhandanddrew
ci
rcl
esini
t.
"See,ItoldPucker moneythatIneedtoattenda
chemi calengineeri
ngexpot hati
stobehel di
n
Joburgf orgrade12sont he22ndt otel
lthem
aboutmyexper ienceatUCTsof ar"
,shebegan
stati
nghercase.
"
Yesaaannd?
"
"
Yourmanwant st
odr i
vemet herehi
mself,
no
mat
terhowhar dItr
iedexplai
ningtohimthat
mom hasalreadyorgani
zedtranspor
tforme.
Hewon'thearit
"
"
Hawu.Hewantst
obecausehecar
esabout
y
ou.Youknowhowmuchy oumeantohi
m",I
said,andsheconti
nueddrawi
ngi
nvisi
bleci
rcl
es
i
nmyhand.Shet henqui
cklyr
anhereyes
aroundtoseeifnoonewascoming.
"Him dr
ivi
ngmet herei
snottheproblem.The
probl
em is,t
hereisnoexpo!
",shesaidwit
hher
teet
hgritt
edtogether
.Iexpl
odedinlaught
er.
"Thandowhathaveyoudone?
",Isai
dasI
conti
nuedl
aughing.
"Icreat
edafakeaccountandsentmy selfan
emai l
.Heisconvi
ncedit
'sfr
om t
heCSI R.Ifhe
findsoutI
'
m gonnabeonhousear restforthe
restofmylif
e"shesaidandmimickedacr y.
"Whywoul
dyoudosomet
hingl
i
ket
his?
",I
asked.
"WellIcoul
dn'texact
lywal
kupt ohimli
ke"Hey
bro.MindifIgoonami nibaecati
onwit
hmy
boyfr
iend?IpromiseI'
ll
beback".He'
dfli
p"
"I
fI'
m gonnaspeaktohim,i
twoul
dbeme
convi
ncinghi
mt onotgetmadabouty
ourl
i
e
andactual
l
yall
owyoutogo.Ican'
tl
ieonyour
behal
f.Whati
fsomet
hinghappenstoyou?
"
"
Areyououtofy ourmind?ThisisnotDrPhil
we'
retalki
ngabout .I
mmedi at
elywhenhehear s
t
hewor dboy f
ri
endat t
achedtomyname, he
l
osesit.It
'snotgonnawor k"
"Letmetry
..
.",
Isai
d,andmyphoner
ang.I
twas
anunident
if
iednumber.
Shegotupandsaid,
"ifIdi
e,mybloodi
sgoing
tobeonyourhands"
.Ilaughedandshel
eft
.
"
Boi
kokobet
sospeaki
nghel
l
o?"
"
So,
it'
sof
fi
cial
?"
"Whoev
ertaughtyouphoneeti
quet
tehadno
cl
uewhattheyweredoing.Whoist
his?
",Isai
d,
andhekeptquiet
.
"Ar
eyougoi
ngt
ospeakt
hisweek,
orshoul
dI
hangup?
"
"
Somebodyi
sinaf
oul
mood"
,hesai
d,andI
pi
ckedupt
hati
twasKgokagano.Ikeptqui
et.
"
Iaskedy
ouaquest
ion"
"
Pleaser
epeati
tforme"
"
It
'sof
fi
cial
?Youal
l
owedhi
mtomar
ryy
ou?
"
Ikeptqui
et.
"
Wasi tt
hemoney ?Theonlythi
ngtheguyhas
t
hatIdon'ti
sthefactt
hehe'sroyal
ty.Di
dyou
marr
yhim becauseofthat
?
"
Wher
ewer
eyoual
lthi
swhi
l
e?"
"I
napl acewhereIcouldn'
tst
opthelov
eofmy
l
ifefr
om getti
ngmar r
iedtoaf**
**ng
poly
gami st
"
Ihel
dont
omysi
l
ence.
"Theonlyr
easonwhywedi dn'tspeakfort
his
l
ongisthefactthatyoutol
dmey ounever
wantedtoseemeagai nandthreatenedme
witharest
rai
ningorder
.Didyouev erl
oveme
Bee?"
"
Idi
..
."
,Icoul
dn'
tfi
nishmysent
ence.
"
Didy
ou?
",hesai
d.Hewashi
ghl
ywor
kedup.
"Yourweddingpicturesar
ethenicestI'
veseen
bytheway.Butt here'
sthi
sonepicturethat
caughtmyat t
ention.Youweresodi st
ant
mindedthere.Somet hi
ngIwouldn'
texpectfrom
ahappybride"
"
Wher
edi
dyougett
hem?
",Iasked.
"YourdearcousinBr i
ancoul dn'
twaittoshov e
them i
nmyi nbox".Hesai dandIwasn' tatall
surpri
sed.Him andBr i
anar eswor nenemi es.
Kgokaganoappar entl
ybr okeBrian'
sgi rl
fri
end'
s
vir
gini
ty.Br
ian'sfi
rstl
ove.Hehasnev erf orgi
ven
him si
nce.He'dlit
eral
lyspitonev eryfootstep
Kgokaganol eavesbehind.
"
LookI'm sor
ryy
oufeelt
hewayy ou'
ref
eeli
ng
r
ightnowbutIcan'
thel
py ou.Pl
easemoveon"
"
Whenar
eyoucomi
ngbackt
oPLK?
"
"
ByeKG"
"Okaylook.Kagor
atawankwa?
"(Il
ovey
ou;
you
hearthat?"
Hesai dandi tfeltexactlythewayi tdidwhenhe
saiditthefir
stt i
me.Iopenedmymout hto
respondbutIr andr yofwor ds.Iresortedto
endingt hecalli
nst ead.Istoodupwi t
ht heaim
ofwal ki
ngintot hehouseandIf oundMuzi
standingbyt hedoor ,
silentasagr ave.Agrave
whichhadi tshandsi nitspocket swithitsl
egs
crossed.Hisheadwasl eani
ngont hedoor
alongwi thhi
sshoul der.Howl onghashebeen
standingthere?
"Howl onghavey
oubeenstandingher
e?"
,I
asked.Itt
ookamomentforhimt orai
sehis
eyesatmewi thanoser
aisedintot
heair
.He
wasn'thappy.
"
Mina?Per
fect
"
EDI
TED.
I
nser
t74.

Af
ewday
slat
er.

Hegotupf rom thebenchwewer eseatedon

aft
erhehear dtheannouncementf orhisplane.I
conti
nuedstuffi
ngmyf acewi t
hmysecond
chi
ckenmay osandwich.Hei nser
tedhisphone
i
ntothepocketofhisbl acktrackpantand
zi
ppeditup.Het hensmi leddownatmeand
sai
d"Ngempel angempel auy it
hat
haphii-
appeti
teengakababy "
(Wher edoy ougetsucha
hugeappeti
tebaby ?)
If
rownedandcont
inuedchewi
ng.
"Ngiy
adlal
abo.Ungazeungibul
ale"
(I
'm ki
dding.
Beforeyoukil
lme).Hesai
dandt henlaughed.
Hehel douthi
shandformet ostandup.Iput
thesandwichdownnexttot
hejuiceand
obli
ged.Hethenpl
acedhishandsaroundme
andcov er
edmewithhisent
ir
eself.Ihugged
him back.
"Ushesheubuy
e"(
Comebacksoon)
,Isai
dto
him,rest
ingmyheadonhi
sshoul
der.
"Iwill
.Ihav eahugemesst ofi
xandpeopl et o
taket ocour t
",helowlysaid.Thi smat terwas
stressinghim out.Lihle'
sf amil
yi sadamantt hat
theKhumal o'sneedt omar rytheirdaught er
beforet heycouldgett heirchil
d.Ihav east r
ong
feeli
ngt hatthishasmor et odowi thjustthe
baby .Ican'tshakethef eelingthattherei sa
hiddenagendaher e.Muzi i
sstillnotaligning
withMabuy i'
sbrand.Shei sst i
llmad, andno
onecant al
kheroutofi t.

Heki
ssedmeforagoodmi nut
ebefor
etel
l
ing
metoavoi
dst
ressandtakecareofhi
schi
ldr
en.
Ismiledandheki ssedmeonmyf oreheadas
welockedhands.Heki ssedmeonmyl ipsone
moret i
mebef orehecoul ddraghissui tcaseto
walkaway .Iwalkedbackt othecarandgoti n
thebackseat.Iwasdr i
venbackhome, andI
arr
ivedatthesamet i
measMabuy i.Lordknows
whereshehasbeen.Herf acelookedpal eand
herweav ewasuncombed.Ii nspect edherwith
myey eswhenIgotoutoft hecar.
"Ngimenjanikhonauzokwaziukungi gwinya
kahle?"
(Whatposit
ionshouldIstandi nsoy ou
canswal l
owmepr operly)
,sheaskedasshe
rai
sedherhandswi thhercarkeysandher
LouisVuitt
on'NeverFull
'bagintheot her.I
l
aughedandshegi ggl
edindefeataswel l.I
don'tt
hinkther
eisanycheapi tem i
nhercl oset
.
Thisisthe4thdesignerbagI'
m seeingheruse.
"
Isyourhusbandgone?"
,sheaskedasshe
wal
kedintothehouseandIfol
lowedher
.
"
Myhusband?
",Iaskedi
nshockoft
het
oneshe
usedtoaskt
hequest
ion.Webumpedi
ntoone
ofthehel
ps,
greet
edandkeptwal
ki
ng.
"Yes.Yourhusband" ,sherepeatedwithout
remor se.Isaid"Yes» ,andshecontinued
speakingaboutGod- knows-whatbecauseIwas
nolongerl i
stening.Mymi ndwaswander i
ngasI
walkedbehi ndher .Whathav eIsi
gnedupf or
?
Thiswomanl ooksl ikeshehasbeent hrough
hellandbackwi ththisman.Whati fdithupa
tsakadi meet si
ngl enna?( WhatifI'
m stil
lto
experiencethehor rorsheal soseemst ohav e
experienced?).
"Areyouev enlisteni
ngt ome?",sheaskedas
sheopenedt hedoort oherroom, andIsnapped
outofit.Twor osegol dball
oonswer ethefir
st
tosoftlyhi
therf acewhenshewasaboutt o
walkin.Theywer eobv i
ousl
ythefewofmany ,
many ,andImeanmanymor e.Theyfloodedher
room sucht heycouldn'twaitt
omaket hei
rway
out.Wewer ebothsur pri
sedatthissi
ght,butI
thi
nkwebot hknewwhowasr esponsiblefor
thi
scr i
me.Shesl owl ywal kedwithasmi lethat
for
cedi t
'sstret
chonherf acewhenshewas
obviousl
yfighti
ngi t.Ifol
lowedheri nandt here
wasabl ackenv elopeont hebedandal ongwi t
h
ablackboxwi t
hagol dbowont op.Evelyn
walkedandt hef i
rstthingshesai dwas" Whose
bir
thdayisit?"
"Noone's.Thisi
sallthewor kofthesmoot h
cri
minal ofasonyouhav e",
Mabuy i
responded
asshel ockedhert
ear yeyesint
ot heA4not e.I
t
wasaf ullpageofhandwr i
tt
enstor i
esthatI
wasn'tgoingtoaskabout .Iwasn'tsureI
wantedt oknow.

.
..

Theaf
ter
noonsunwascal
l
ingournamesto
comebuski
nitbyt
hepoolar
ea.Thandowasi
n
herbikini
exposingherbeaut i
fulpeti
tebody.
Shewast heonlyonewhowaswi ll
i
ngtoswi m.
Evel
y n,Mabuy i
andIwer elaidbackongr asson
topofapi cnicblankethavi
ngbowl sofav ar
iety
offruit
sandmi mosas.Iwashav ingguavajuice.
Wewer eonav ideocallwit
hEnhl ewhocoul dn'
t
stopsay i
ngshewi shedshewast herewithus.
Myphoner angandIexcusedmy selfnotto
i
nterruptthei
rjoyfulconver
sati
on.
"
Bes"
,Ianswer
ed.
"Yourmot herisher
einhospit
al.Ot
li
sit
seke
ntateSit
hole"(MrSi
thol
ebroughther)
.Tumi
report
ed.Ifeltmyheartwanti
ngtostop
counti
ngbeat s.
"
What?
",Iaskedt
oconf
ir
m whet
herhehashi
s
f
act
sinli
ne.
"
She'
sfine.Shehadami
nimy
ocar
dial
i
nfar
cti
on"
"
What
'st
hatl
ewena!
?",
Iaskedi
naggr
essi
ve
i
mpat
ience.
"Ayoungheartatt
ackf r
iend.Look,Ineedt ogo
backtowork.Just.
..gety oura**backhome" ,
hesaidandcutthecall.Itsoundedlikethe
hospit
alwasbusierthatitusuall
yget swhenhe
call
smewhi l
eondut y.Iputmyhandonmy
for
eheadasIstoodbar efootinthesun.Thando
wrappedherhersel
fwi t
hat owelandt wi
sted
thewateroutherhairassheappr oachedme.
"Ar
ey ouokay?What'
swrong?IsPucker
money
okay?",
sheaskedandMabuy i
andEvely
nst
ood
upfrom undert
heshadeofthetr
eeandcame
tous.
"Bet
so!?"
,Mabuyical
l
edoutasIwasaboutt
o
getdeepl
ylosti
nmypanicandthought
s.
"I
t'
smymother
.Shehadahear
tat
tack"
,I
star
ted.
"What
?Issheokay
?",
Theyal
laskedatt
he
sameti
me.
"
Appar
ent
ly.Ineedt
ogohome"
"
I'
m comi
ngwi
thy
ou"
,Mabuy
ijumpedi
n.
"
Ther
e'snoneed.I
'
llbef
inet
hanks"
"
Sur
e?"
,Ev
ely
nasked.
"
Yeah.Letmegopack"
"Al
right.Letmegospeakt ooneoft he
chauf f
eurs",Evel
ynsaidasshewenti na
dif
ferentdirect
ionwhenweheadedt owardsthe
house.Igott hereandtookashower .Thando
off
er edtopackf orme.Mabuy ihelpedher.
WhenIwasdonewi t
heveryt
hing,theycarri
ed
thebagf ormeaswewentdownt hest ai
rs.I
gotint hebackoft hecarandhet ookof f
.

.
..

"
Mama? ",
Isai
dasItri
edtowakeherup.I
wasn'
taboutt
oli
stentoTumiwhosuggest
edI
shouldl
etherr
estandwaitf
orhertowakeup
onherownaccord.Themeresi
ghtofhereyes
cl
osedisenoughtogiv
emeahear tat
tackas
well
.Tumiwasinthekit
chenpr
epari
ngsoupfor
her.
"Mama?",Ical
ledoutagain.Idi
dn'
tevenswit
ch
ontheli
ghts.Therewasnot imefort
hat.She
squi
ntedherey esandt
riedtogetup.It
oldher
toli
edown.Shehadnoneofi t.
"Iwon'
traiseachil
donlyfori
ttogrowsoi tcan
tel
lmewhatandwhatnott odo",shesaidas
sheslowlypul
ledthepi
llowupt obalanceand
l
aidherheadont heheadboard.Igotuptohelp
her.
"Kokobetsontl
ogel
eakesegole"
(Leaveme
aloneI'
m notparal
yzed)
.Shesai
dandIwent
backtomyseat .Iwastooti
redtofi
ghther
anyway.
Shet
henswi
tchedont
hesi
del
ampandsmi
l
ed
atme.Ismi
l
edback.
"Iam notdeadandI '
m notgoi ngt odi enow.
Okay ? ",shewhi sper ed,andIf eltmyey es
wettingup.Icoul dn' tstopt het ear sfrom f al
ling.
Shesl owl ypushedt hebackofheadt ol ayon
theirthighsandIwai l
edmyl ungsout .Shekept
saying" sshhh"asshebr ushedmyhai r.I
couldn' tst op.Ididn' twantt ost op.Itfeltgood
tocr y.Itfel tgoodt ocr yint hepr esenceofmy
mot her '
scomf ort.Iweptf oral lthehur tI '
v e
exper iencedt hepastf ewday s.Iweptf ort he
messofal i
feIjustsi gnedupi nt henameof
mar riage.Iweptf oral lthet imesIwant edt ocry
butIcoul dn' t
.Iweptf ort hest resst hatI '
m
tryi
ngt oav oi
df ort hesakeofmybabi es.Iwept
forthef actt hatIcoul d'vel ostmymot her .I
weptf ort hepossi bil
ityofmyhusbandmar r
y i
ng
anot herwomanf ort hesakeofhi sdaught er.I
l
ov et hatman, butIdon' tthinkIwoul dbeabl e
tost ayshoul dhedeci det ogi veint oLi hle's
demands.Ial sodon'
tthi
nkIwi ll
beablet ol
ive
withouthim.Iwept.Andwept .Andweptunt i
lI
fel
tmychestheat ingupandmyheadr epor
ti
ng
afever.Mymom wasqui eti
nal loft
his.She
j
ustbr ushedmyhead.Iwant edhertosay
somet hing.Butt
hat'
sall
shedi d.Shejust
brushedmyhead.

If
inall
yranoutoftear
s,butthehurtwassti
ll
over
flowing.Ipul
l
edmy sel
ftoget
herandjust
l
aidthere.
"
Doy ouwantt
ocrysomemor
e?"
,sheasked.I
l
aughedandsai
d"No".
"Okay.Nowt el
l mommywhat 'seatingy ou
becauseI'm pret
tysureokasell
egakanankar e
kehwi l
e"(
..
.prettysur
eyouwoul dn'
tcr yli
ket
his
asifI'
m deadwher easI'
m sti
l
laliv
e) ,
shesoftl
y
said.
"
I'
mjustwor
ri
edaboutmypr
egnancyma.I
won'
tsur
viv
eift
heydon'
tmakei
t"
,Isai
dand
wi
pedmywetey es.
"ComebackhomesoIcantakecar
eofy
ou
Fil
we"
,shesai
dwit
hhereyesdownonme.
"
Youmeankeepaney
eonme"
,Isai
d.
"
Yes.Thatt
oo.Nomar r
iageismoreimportant
t
hanthehealt
hofmydaught er
.Letthem l
abel
y
ouasabadwi f
eakenataba.Justcomehome
t
uu",
shefir
mlysaid.
"
I.
.Idon'
tknowmama"
,Isai
d,andsheexhal
ed
i
ndefeat
.
"
Wher
eisheany
way
?",
sheasked.
"
Who?Muzi
?",
Isni
ff
edandasked.
"
Yes.Whoel
se?Bar
ackObama?
"
"
He'
sov
erseas"
Tumi cameinwit
hatr
ayandcheer
ful
l
ysai
d"
Dinnerisr
eady
.Bonappet
it
"
.
..

It
'sbeenaweeksi nceI '
darriv
edher eathome.
I'
vebeencoopedupi nmymot her'
shousef or
solongIdon' tthi
nkIst i
llr
emember edhowt he
skylookedl i
ke.Tumi hadpr omisedt hathewas
goingtotakemet othepar kforfreshairinhis
newcar .Muzi wassupposedt olandt henext
dayandIwasexci tedforthat.Het oldmet o
packmyst uffatmypl acebecausemyhouse
wasr eady.Iwasexci t
edf orthattoo.

Tumi ar
ri
vedi
nwhi
teshor
ts,
awhi
tev
estand
shades.
"
Andthenwena?Lookingli
keyou'
rereadyf
or
t
hebeach"
,Iasked.Helookedgood.
"
Yout
alkt
oomuch.Har
eye"
(Let
'sgo)
,hesai
d
andtookmyhandbag.Il
aughedandf
oll
owed
hi
m outsi
de.Wegotint
ohisMercA45andhe
drov
eof f
.
"Fr
iendyouhaven'
tstar
tedwor ki
ngforthatlong.
Otsaakaemachankuraagor ekakoloi
e
so?"(
Wher edoyougetthemoneyt obuysucha
car?)
,IaskedasIadmiredhi
scust om-made
l
ightbrownleat
herseat
swi t
hhi snameoft hem.
Thedrama.
"Wenagaobul amaot oformohumi olawagoo
j
udgekemangousi e?Yout houghty ouwer ethe
onlyonewi ththeabl eness?Thekhonabi l
it
y?
Hm? "
(Wheny ouspr eady ourlegsf oryourr i
ch
manwhoj udgesy ou? )hesai d,andIexpl oded
i
nl aught er.Icannotbel i
evehi m.Wepi ckedup
moj i
tosanddunkedwi ngsfrom KFCbecauseI
wascr avingt hem andcont i
nuedwi thour
j
our neyt ot hepark.Wegott hereandt ooka
stroll
tillwegott ot hebench.Tumi doesnot
stopt alkingsoIdi dmostoft helisteninguntil
wesawKgokaganowal
kedupt
ouswi
thhi
s
l
it
tl
esi
sterhav
ingi
cecr
eam.
"Shehasgr ownsomuch! ",IsaidtoTumi aswe
wat chedt hem approach.Tumi sai
d" I
tisnother
I'
mf ocusi ngon.Fr i
endi sthisyourex! ?".He
wasgobsmacked.Iwoul dbet ooift hiswast he
fir
stt imeIsawhi m sincehi ghschool .Hi s
Instagr am pi ct
ureslookgood, buthe' sf lames
i
nper son.Hewaswear ingnav ysui tpant s,
with
apar ti
all
yt uckedoutwhi teshirtandhi snav yti
e
l
oosed.Hel ookedlikehehadj ustcomeoutof
theof f
ice.Hi ssleeveswer er ol
leduphi s
muscul arar ms.Theyf inall
ygott ousand
greet ed.Kar abelocouldn'tstopbl ushi ngand
smi l
ing.Shehasal way sli
kedme.Shehear t
react sev erythi
ngIpost .Ifshewasl esbian, I
woul dbesur eshelikesmef orher self.
"Howar ey
oudoing?
",Kaganoaskedandwe
cont
inuedwit
hthenicet
iesunt
ilheaskedt
o
Tumi andKar
abelot
oexcuseus.
"Don'tdoany t
hingthatmightlandy ouina
divorcecourt"
,Tumi whisperedbef orehecould
standupwi thhiscupandst rutofft ohiscar.
KaganohandedKar abelohiscarkey sandshe
wenti natotal
lydif
ferentdir
ection.Hesatdown
nextt omeandsai d,"Yourdresslooksgoodon
you".Ithankedhim andcont i
nuedsi ppi
ngon
mydr i
nk.I
'veneverbeenablet omakeey e
contactwithhim andasol dIam, Istil
lcan'
t.
"
Bet
so?
",hel
owl
ycal
l
edout
.
"
Hm?
",Ir
esponded.
"Lookatme",
Ibrav
editoutandf
acedhim.He
gluedhi
seyestomineandkeptast
rai
ghtface.
"
Canyouhonest
lyl
ookmei ntheey
eandtel
l
meyou'
rehappy
?",
heasked,andIl
ookedaway
.
"Thelov
eofmyl i
fewouldnev erset
tlefor
secondbest
.Webot hknowt hat.I
'v
enev er
beeninapolygamousmarriagebutI'm smar t
enoughtoknowhowi tworks.It'
saselfishactif
youaskme" ,
hecontinuedr
ambling.Ikeptmy
faceaway.Regar
dlessofal
lthethi
ngshewas
sayi
ngthatmadememad, somethingfeltr
ight
abouthi
spresence.Hesmeltgood.Hef elt
..
.he
fel
tri
ght
.Hegotupandcamet osquati nfr
ont
ofme.
"Youcanst i
ll
getoutoft hismess.Iam her e
andwi l
li
ngt olovey ouwi thmywhol eheartj
ust
asIalway shav e.Ifeelli
ket hemani nme
deservesachancet ocorr ectthestupid
mistakest hattheboyi nmehasmade.Il ove
youandy ouknowi ttoo.I'vehur ty
ou.Badly.I
knowt hat.Butallowmet omaket hingsri
ght.
Thatfooldoesn' tdeservey ou",hesaidand
i
nsistedonkeepi nghisey esonme.Hi sstar
e
wasbur ni
ngmyf ace.Ibr oughtmyey esbackto
him.
"
Iam marri
ednow.Pregnanteven.Thereisno
waywecanbet oget
her.Idon'
tknow.May bei
f
youhadshowedupal i
ttl
ebitear
li
er,Idon'
t
know.
..buti
t'
stool
ate"
,Isai
d.
"I
t'
snot.Betsowhatisitthatyoudon't
under
standwhenIsayIl ovey ouwi t
h
ever
ythi
ngthereistome?We' ll
rai
set hekidand
makesomemor e.Iwon'tbet hefi
rstmant o
rai
seanotherman'sblood.Ijustwanty ou.I
needyou!"
,hesaidashepl acedhi shands-ont opoft he
mat er
ialofmydr esst hatrestedonmyt highs.I
i
mmedi atel
ydev elopedgoosebumps.Thechi l
ly
PM weat herwasn' thel pi
ngeither.Thesunwas
setti
ng.Thepar kwasqui etandpeacef ul.Bei ng
withhimt herefeltsowr ongandy etsor ight.He
gotupandsuggest edIdoaswel l
.Ir eluct antly
didandhepul l
edmei nt oahug.Hi scol ognehi t
mynost r
il
s.Hesmel texact l
ylikeMuzi smel ls.I
feltmyselfgetti
ngi ntoxicatedandr estedonhi s
chest.Somet hi
ngaboutt hatmomentmademe
wishlifewassi mpl er
.Mor estrai
ght forwar d.But
Ilovemyhusband.Nomat terhowcont rov ersi
al
ourmarri
agemaybe,butIlov
eMuzikayi
se
PhakamaniKhumal
o.Ilov
ehim buther
eIam,
rest
ingi
nthearmsandchestofamanI
would'
veatsomepoi
ntinmyl i
fedi
edfor.
..

EDI
TED.
I
nser
t75.

"And?"
,thati
sthef
ir
stt
hingTumi
sai
dwhenI
gotinthecar
.
"Andwhat ?
",Isai
dasIst
rappedontheseat
bel
t.
Bothhisthumbswererai
sedfrom hi
sphone
screen.
"
WhatdidMrhunkhavetosay?"
,hesai
dashe
t
urnedhi
swholebodyt
of aceme.
"Don'
tcal
lhi
mthat.He.
..hej
ustsai
d..
.argt
he
usual
.Whatdoexeshavetosay?"
,Isai
dasI
i
ronedmydresswithmyhands.
"Fri
endarey
ouhav
ingr
egr
ets?
",heasked,
sincer
ely
.
Iexhal
ed.
"
Whatr
egr
ets?
"
"
Idon'
tknow.Mar
ryi
ngyoung?Marr
yingyoung
t
oapolygamousman",
hesaidandshrugged.
"Ar
gwoul dever
yonestopcal
l
inghimthat.His
marit
alarr
angementdoesnotdef
inehim!",
I
snapped.Thenexhal
ed.Andwentfl
att
ened
backtomyseat.
"
Oh,cal
myourpeckybreastsIwasjustaski
ng"
.
Hesai
dandstar
tedthecar.Annoyed.
"
I'
m sor
ry"
,Iapol
ogi
zed.
"I
t'
sfine.I'
mj ustmakingsurethatyou'renot
si
tti
ngt heredepressedwhereasI'm carryi
ngon
asifev er
ythi
ngi sfi
ne",
hecontinuedt osayas
hehandl edhissteeri
ngwheel,simultaneousl
y
guardinghisrear-v
iewmi r
ror
.
"
BesI
'
mfi
ne.Ipr
omi
se"
"Pr
omi sepromise?
",hesaidandmadeey
e
contact.Iav
oidedpart
ici
pati
ngini
t.
"
Yeah.Pr
omi
sepr
omi
se"
"
Whatdoy
ouswearon?
",heasked.Il
aughed.
"Myowngrav
e",
Isai
dinbet
weeni
ndi
sti
nct
giggl
es.
"
Bit
**howt
hef
**k!
?",
hesai
dashel
aughedas
wel
l.
"Don'
taskmequest
ions"
,Isai
dandkeptmy
eyesgluedt
ovi
ewofthetreeswewerepassi
ng.
"I
'm notgoi
ngtof or
ceitoutofy
ou.Butonce
thi
ngsstartf
all
i
ngapar tforr
ealf
orreal,Iknow
you'
llcomerunning",
hesaidandcontinued
dri
ving.
"
Obv.
..
iousl
y",
Isaid,
andwel
aughedt
het
opi
c
i
ntoi
tsconcl
usion.
.
..

Tumi droppedmeof fatmymot her

'sgat
e
becausehehadt ogoprepar
eforhisni
ghtshi
ft
.
Iwalkedtot hehouseandfoundmymot her
cooking.
"Ahyoushoul
dn'
thave.Ket
li
lekadi
takeaway
"(I
broughtt
akeaways)
.
"Youdi
dn'
ttel
lme.I
'm notadinnerpr
ophet
",
shesai
dandconti
nuedturni
ngherpapinthe
pot.
Shethencl
osedt
hepotandaskedwhatI
bought.
"
Twi
stermeal
s",
Iresponded.
"Andy ousayyoubr oughtf
ood?",she
sarcasti
cal
lydroppedherey eswit
hherhandsi
n
thepocketofherapr on.Il
aughed.
"
Tli
sa.They
'l
lser
veasappet
izer
s",
shesai
d,and
Il
aughedhar
der
.
"
Oapaaengl
egone?
"(Whatar
eyoucooki
ng?
)
"Bogobekachi cken.Akerkai t
simat sul
uale
agoapaaphut hubar ekebogobe.Kebat l
aoje
mpaet i
yev andag"(Papandchicken.Iknow
thoseZulusofy ourscan'
tcook.Theycook
"uphuthu"thencal l
itpap.Iwantyout oeatunt
il
youfeel y
ourst omachget ti
ngfi
rmt oday)she
said,andIlaughedmyl ungsout.
"
Haahmamat hosearemyinlawsy ou'
re
t
alki
ngabout
.AND, umnandiuphuthu
wabo"(
Uphut
huisactual
lyver
ynice)
"Ut
lwanghela.Shetsebagody i
le.Sur elyge
nkaregoapeyewenannouot loapaal ona
l
ephuthuleolago"(
Listentoy ou.They 'v e
i
nfectedyouwiththeirway s.SurelyifIasky ou
tocooknowy ou'r
egoi ngtomaket hatt hing)
,
shesaidandclappedonce.Shet henpul l
eda
chai
routthetableandpl acedher selft here.I
coul
dn'
tst
opl
aughi
ng.Imi
ssedhersomuch!
"Argstopitmama.It
'snotli
kehankeoeja
phuthu"(
it
'snotl
i
key ounevereati
t)
,Isai
dand
tookoutthewaterbott
lefr
om thefr
idge.
"
Eekaejamar ali
kenormalpeopl
edo.Ka
mmeleke!
"(Idoeati
tbutl
ikenormal
peopl
edo.
Wit
hmi l
k!)
Iwasaboutt odef endmymanandhi speopl e
whenshei nterruptedandsaid" Phelabona
habat swafegoapaant hwelahebahet sahaaba
beyeseshebomo.Kebuamaaka? "(It
'snor mal
forthem tocooki tandhav eitwithnormal
rel
ishl i
kewedowi thnormalpap.Am Il ying?)
shesai dasi fshewasr eadytocount er-
attack
what everresponseIwasgoi ngt ogivetoher .I
continueddr i
nki ngmywat erfrom theglassshe
wasdr i
nki
ngf r
om andl aughed,hopingshe
wouldl eti
tgo.Shel aughedaswel l
andl uckil
y,
shedi d.Shel etitgo.
"
Imi
ssedy
ou"
,Isai
d.
"
Youdon'
twantt
ocomehomeaker
"
"
Ahmama.
..
",Ii
mpat
ient
lysai
d.
"I
'
m notgoi
ngt
ofor
cey
ou"
,shesai
dandbi
ther
nail
off
.
"
Thanky
ou"
.Icont
inuedhav
ingmywat
er.
"Whathappened?
",Iasked.Sherol
l
edhereyes
andstoodup.Sheknewexact l
ywhatIwas
tal
ki
ngabout.Iwastalki
ngaboutherhear
t
att
ack.
"
You'
renotcopi
ngmama" ,IsaidasIwat
ched
t
hest
eam from herpotembraceherf
ace.
"
Yousai dIshouldgetmy sel
fat her
apist.Idi
d
t
hat.Ompat l
angsent l
engwanakewena?Ke
i
neelesefapanong? "
(.
..Whatexactl
ydoy ou
wantfrom mechi l
d?ShouldIhandmy selfover
t
obecr ucif
iedont hecross?
),shesaid,andI
f
eltl
iketheweightofherwor dswassi tt
ingon
myshoul ders.Iwasr eall
yt i
redandi nnomood
tobegoi ngbackandf orthwi t
hmymot her.We
allmissKgant sho.Icrymy selftosleep
somet i
mesbecauset hat'
stheonlyt hi
ngIcan
do.Itgetsbetterwi t
ht i
me, butIdon'tthinkit'
s
thesamesi tuationwithher .Aswor ri
edasIam
abouther ,
Iknewi twasn' tgoingtoendwel lifI
keptpushing.Ijustneedt of i
ndawayt oget
accesstot hi
st herapi
stshesay sshehasf ound.

.
..

Aft
erdinner,
Iwentst raightintothebat hroom
tosoakmy selfi
nhotwat er.Myexhaust edbody
andswollenlegsdemandedi t
.AfterIwasdone,
Isl
ippedint
omyov er sizedpy j
amasbecausei t
fel
tli
kethecor r
ectthingt odo.Muzi calledasI
wasmassagi ngmyf acewi thnightcream.
"
Sthandwasami
",hesai
d,andIi
mmedi
atel
y
smi
l
ed.
"
Heyy
ou"
"Del
elaangit
hiujwayel
e"(
Disr
espectme.You'
re
usedtoit)hesaid,
andIlaughasIthrewmysel
f
onthebedt oli
eonmyback.
"Howareyou?"hesoftl
ysaid.Ilovehim when
hesoundsthi
srelaxed.Fr
ancedi dhim good.I
didn'
twanthi
mt ogobutIappr eciat
ethathe
did.
"
I'
mfi
ne.Howar
eyou?
"
"I
'
m okay.Ar
eyoust
il
lhav
inghear
tbur
n?"he
asked,
andIsai
dno.
"I
'
m gladtoheart
hat.Howwasyourday?"he
cont
inuedtomesmer i
zemetot
hepleasureof
myear swi
thhisvoi
ce.
"
Baby!
?",
hecal
l
edout
.Il
aughedbecauseIwas
l
ost
.
"
Hawu.Yi
nimanj
e?"
(Whati
sitnow?
)heasked.
"Nothing.Ijustl
oveli
steni
ngtoyouspeak"I
said,andhegav ewhatIcallanose-
breat
h
giggle,whichiswhatheusuall
ydoeswhenhe's
blushingbutdoesn'twanttoshowit
.
"
Hai
bo"
,hesof
tl
ysai
d.Yup!Hewasbl
ushi
ng.
"Ngempela.Youshould'
vebeenpr esi
dentsoI
canrecor
dy ourspeeches"Isai
d,andhe
l
aughedoutl oud.
"Ut
hiuy
angichar
meryi
niweeMrs
Khumal
o?"(Arey
outr
yingt
ochar
m me,
Mrs
Khumalo?
)
"
May
be"
,Isai
dandwebot
hlaughed.
"Ngithengiy
ashadakwav el
akwathiwa"hay i
thathaomuny enomuny eokhonakuleyobox
ngobal abaabaphil
il
eekhandabayebaphel a
bhuti""(
Isai
dIwant edtogetmarri
edandi twas
said"Takewhi chev
eroneyoucomeacr ossin
thatboxbecausewehav eranoutofthesame
ones" )
,hesaidandimit
atedawoman' sv oi
ce.I
expl
odedinl
aught
er.Ev
enaweekinaf
orei
gn
count
rycoul
dn'
tsavehi
m.He'
ssti
l
lani
diot
.
"Anyway,belunjaniusukul
wakho?
"(Howwas
yourday?).Ifeltmyheartj
umpalit
tlebi
t.Idon'
t
knowwhyIi nstant
lyfel
tgui
lt
ywhenheasked
met hatquestion.
"
Justf
inebaby
.Your
s?"
"Nothingi
nter
esti
ng.Whatdidy ougetupto?
",
heaskedsoundinglikehejustgotint
othe
bathroom.Iconcl
udedthisfrom howhisvoi
ce
sounded.
"Nothi
ngmuch.Ipai
dmybi l
lsbecauseIhad
for
gottenaboutt
hem andwenttotheparkwit
h
Tumi "
.
"Youhavebill
s?"
,heaskedi
nhi
smocki
ngv
oice
andIlaughed.
"
Mxm.Ofcour
se,
Ido"
"
I'
m ki
ddi
ng.Whydi
dn'
tyout
ell
me?
"
"
Tel
lyouwhat
?"
"Thaty
ouhav ebi
l
lst
opay
",heasked.Hewas
nowserious.
"
Hawu.Icanaf
for
dmyownbi
l
lsheban"
"
Ugezi
l
e?"
(Hav
eyoubat
hed?
)
"
YesIhave"
,Ir
esponded.Sur
pri
sedbyt
he
r
andomnessofthi
squesti
on.
"
Nezindl
ebe?
"(I
ncl
udi
ngy
ourear
s?)
,heasked.I
l
aughed.
"
Yebohawu"
"Ol
y t
.Ungimamel ekhonauzongi zwakahl e.
Yabonal entoyakhoy obui ndependentwoman?
Kwami i
salaegat in.Awungeni nay oleyonto
emagcekeni wakwaKhumal o.Uy angizwamunt '
omuhl e?"(
Alri
ght.Listentomeandl i
stent ome
carefull
y.Youseet hi
sthingofy oursofbei ng
anindependentwoman?I tdoesn' tfeatur
ei nmy
house.Doy ouhearme, beauti
fullady ?
),hesaid
andIl
aughed.
"Hawu.Weren'
tyoutheonevouchingformeto
i
mpr ovemybusinessandst
uff
?",Ienquir
ed,
sti
ll
laughi
ng.
"Ehena.LenzeiBusi nesslakhongobal iy
aku
j
abulisa.Ngif
unaukuk' bonauj abulemi na.
Kodwai mal
ileyouzobonaukut hi wenzani
ngayo.Ungaphi sanangay oumut handakodwa
uzonakekelwaimi na.Angi thiiminai ndoda
l
a? "
(Yes.Doy ourbusi nessst uffbecauset hey
makey ouhappy .Iwantt oseey ouhappy .But
you'l
lseewhaty oudowi t
ht hatmoney .Gi vei
t
awayi fyouli
kebutI '
mt heonewho' sgonna
takecar eofyou.Am Inott hemanar ound
here?),heasked.Icoul dn'tstopl aughing.
"Hai
bobaby ",t
hat
'stheonl
ythingIcoul
dmut
ter
outi
nr esponsetothenonsensehewas
spewing.
"
Yebo.Ot
her
wiseumsebenzi
wami
njenge
ndodayakhoy i
ni?
"(Yes.Other
wisewhat
'smy
dutyasyourhusband? )
.Idon'
tthi
nkI
'm ev
er
gonnawinthisone.

.
..

Iwokeupi nt hemor ning, gotintomygr eytr

ack
pantsanddr ovetomypl ace, af t
erbuy inga
bunchoff ol
dableboxesandadhesi vet ape.Yes.
Ididnotbat h.Ifeltitwast oomuchadmi n.I'
m
veryl
azyt heseday sandI 'm comf ortabl ewithit
.
Nomat terhowmuchIt rieddi sputing, Muzi
i
nsistedonor ganizi
ngpeopl ef ormet ohelpme
packmypl aceup.WhenIgott here,theycal led
measki ngf ordirectionssay ingt hey'reatt he
CBD.I tsoundedl ikeagr oupofmenandI
wasn'taboutt osubjectmy selftot hat .Itol
d
them I'
m goodbutt heyi nsistedandr epor t
ed
thatt
heyhav ealreadybeenpai d.The
agreementwast hattheywoul dcomet omy
mot her'shouset ofetchthekey sandt henhead
tomypl acetopackbecausesomeot her
brotherdoesn' twantmet odoany t
hing.No
mat terhowIl azyIget ,Iwasn'taboutt ohave
peopl ebreakmymostpr eciousitemsbecause
that'
swhatpeopl ewhogethi redtopackdo.
Theybr eakpeopl e'sbelongings.Igott her
eand
startedbyget tingri
dofal lt
hef oodt hatwas
spoiltinthefri
dge.Whi l
eIwasbusyempt ying
mycupboar ds, acallcamet hroughf rom an
unsav ednumber .
"
Hel
l
o?"
"
You'
reupear
ly.Mor
ning"
"
Kaganowhatdoy
ouwant
?"
"
You.
"
"
Iwi
l
lcutt
hiscal
land.
..
"
"Okayokay
.Weaponsdown.I
'
m out
sidey
our
homepleasecomeout"
"Whatar
eyoudoi
ngt
her
e?Mymom i
sgonna
ki
ll
you"
"Ther
e?Doest hi
smeanyou'
renother
e?"
,he
asked,bl
atant
lyi
gnor
ingmythr
eats.
"
NoI
'
m not
"
"
Wher
ear
eyou?
"
"Myplace.Goodby
e.Andstopcal
l
ingme".Isai
d
andcutthecall
.Hecal
ledagai
nandIi
gnored
him.
Icontinuedempt y i
ngmycupboar ds.Iturnedon
theradioandi ncr easedthespeakerv ol
umes.
There'sal ottobedonebutInev erstartthings
andnotf inishthem.Iendeduppacki ngmostof
theliv
ingr oom int oboxesandrefusebags.
Withendl essbreaksandsomet imes
undeser vedrestingper i
odsbutIfeltproudof
my self
.Itwasheadi ngt
owardsmi ddaywhenI
heardaknockonmydoor .Ipr
ayedt hatitwas
notthoseguy sIt urnedaway.Iwentt oopen
andt
her
ehewas.Doesheev
ergi
veup?
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?Howdi
dyouev
en
f
indme?
"
"Pleasejust
..
.letmei n.Weneedt otal
k.After
that,I
'l
ll
eaveyoual one.Forgood.Ipromise",
he
saidandIexhal ed.Il
ethimin.
Hewal
kedi
nandl
ookedar
ound.
"
You'
rel
eav
ing?
"
"
Whatdoy
ouwant
?Howdi
dyouf
indme?
"
"
Ikepti
t"
"
Youkeptwhat
?"
"Youraddr
ess.Remembery our'
I
nt i
mate
apart
mentwar ming'
li
tt
lepart
y?",hesai
dand
l
aughedathowIhadl abel
edit.
"It
ookchances.Iwasn'
tsur
eyoul
i
vedher
e
anymore"
"
Youmeant
heoney
ounev
erar
ri
vedt
o?"
,Isai
d
andi
nter
rupt
edhi
m bef
orehecoul
drespond.
"Younev erevenrespondedtomyi nbox.I
thoughtwecoul dfixthi
ngsatthetime.You
i
gnoredmeandnowy ou'r
egonnar ockupher e
l
ikeyouownme? ",Il
ashedoutandhesai d"I
know.Iwant edt oarr
ivebutIchangedmymi nd
atthedoor way.Youcanev enaskthatsecur i
ty
l
adyi fshestil
lremember sme.Iwasn' tsureif
mypr esenceher ewouldbeagoodi dea.Plus
myl i
fewasst il
lamessatt hatti
meIwasn' t
abouttohur tyoutwice",
hesaidandt riedto
holdmyhands.Ibackedaway .
"Li
stentothat.
..
",hesaid.Referr
ingtothesong
thathadstart
edpl ay
ingont heradio.Trey
Lorenz'
s'Someonet ohold".Itwasoursong.He
oncededicatedthesongt omeonVal entine'
s,
thedayhemadeenemi esf ormeatschool .
Enemiesthatwant edhimf orthemselves.Itr
ied
tokeepast r
aightfacewhenhesai d"Comeon.
Iknowy ouremember "butf ai
ledwhenhe
star
tedsi
ngingalong.Rememberi
ngallt
he
dramathatarouseduri
ngthoset
imes.Il
aughed
andhelaughedaswel l
.
"Si
ncey ou'
vemadeitcl
earyoudon'twantme
nomor e,shar
eadancewithmef orthel
ast
ti
me",hesaidandheldouthi
shands.
"No",Isaidandcont inuedlaughing.He
unex pectedlythem andt wi r
ledmear oundand
forcedmet odance.Icoul dn'tst
opl aughing.He
thenpul l
edmei ntohi sarmsandbot hmy
palmsl andedonhi schest .Hissmi leslowly
fadedashebur iedhiseyesi ntomi ne.He
l
eanedi ncl osert okissmeandIgotl ostfora
moment .WhenIf inall
ygott hestrengthtopull
away ,hehadpl acedhi sl
ipsonmi ne.
"Howcosy .Sot hi
siswhyyoudidn'twant
companyher e?",hesai
dandIimmedi atel
y
pull
edawayf r
om Kgokagano'
shold.Hewas
standi
ngatt hedoorwithhishandsinhis
pockets.
'
Icanexpl
ain'
.
'
Thi
sisnotwhati
tlooksl
i
ke'
Thesewor dswer eplayingaroundinmyhead,
l
ookingforawayt omyf r
ozenmout handst i
ff
tongue.Thetruthis,Ican'texpl
ain.Iknow
exactl
yhowt hislookslikebut,Ican'texpl
ain.

EDI
TED.
I
nser
t76

Pendi ngpanic.Fear.Regretandt heneedt o

expl
ai none'sself.Theneedt oadv ocatefor
thei
rinnocence.Al ltheseemot ionsci r
culat
ed
andr anaroundmyheadsor apidl
yt hatoneof
them surelytri
ppedont hemai nswi tchthat
enablesmycer ebrum tothink.Kgokagano' s
eyesmov edfrom met ohim andt heybot hhel
d
ontightlytoeachendofadeat hst are.
Kgokaganosl owlyletgoofmyhandsandal so
i
nsertedhishandsi ntohispockets.Tur ni
ngt o
facehim di
rectl
y.Hej uststoodthere.Att he
door.Hejuststoodt here.Hestoodt herewith
hishandscalmlypl acedinhispocket s.But
that
'swhereitended.Thecal m.Inhi spocket s.
Hiseyeswer etel
lingacompl etel
ydi ffer
ent
stor
y.

"
Baby?
",Ical
l
edf
orhi
sat
tent
ion.Hedi
dn'
tgr
ant
meany.
Hef i
nall
ywalkedi n.DearGod!Hewal kedto
comest andinfrontofKagano.Whoal sohadn'
t
mov edaninch.Hewasn' tfli
nching.Hewasn' t
fazed.Kgokaganohasal way sbeenst ubborn.
Hehasal waysstoodhi sground.Ir emembera
simil
arsceneinhi ghschoolassembl ywher e
him andtheschool pri
ncipalhadast are
contestbecauseMrVanderRi etbeli
eved
Kgokaganowast heoner esponsibleforthe
noi
seandcarelesswhisperswhereashewas
not.Hi
sfr
iend,whowasst andingi
nfrontofhi
m
was.Hestoodhisgroundwi t
houtafogof
doubti
nhiseyes.Withhishandsinhispocket
s.
Butthi
swasnott heti
meandt hiswasnotMr
VanderRi
et.

"I
sitmey ou'
redisrespecti
ng,mymarr
iageor
both?"
,Muzifi
nallysaid,wi
thhisey
essti
ll
al
ignedinanarrowst rai
ghtli
newit
hmyex's.
"Idon'
tseehowmebeingher
ewit
hthewoman
Ilovehasanyt
hingt
odowit
hyou"
,Kgokagano
shotback.
"Kaganopl
easeleave"
,Isai
dwhenthefearof
whatmightact
uallybr
eakoutkeptr
isi
ng.My
heartwasi
nphysicalwarf
arewit
hmychest.
Muziscoff
edandlookedawaytowardst
he
openwindow,whi
chinnocent
lyal
l
owedthe
soundofthehoot
ingcarsandchi
rpi
ngbir
dst
o
comet
hrough.
'
There'
snoneedforthi
..
."
.Theheavypuncht
hat
l
andedonKagano'snosecoul
dn'twai
tformeto
f
ini
shmysentence.
"MUZINO! ",
Iscr eamedasKgokagano
stagger
edt othesi deandputhi sfi
ngersonhis
nosebridgeatt hesamet ime.Hi smouthhung
openasher ai
sedhi sfacetoMuzi .Thi
ckblood
start
edflowingf rom hi
srightnostri
l
.Another
punchwentf l
yi
ngi ntheairandMuzi spatout
blood.
"Pl
easest op.Pleasejustst op!",Iscr
eamed
l
ouderwhent heybeganwr est l
ingoneanot her
onthefloor.Icouldn'tstopmyt ear
sfrom
fal
l
ing.Iwant edtost opthef ightbutifIwent
anycloseroneofuswasgoi ngt olandinthe
hospit
al.Ordead.Theywer enothear i
ngme.
Noneoft hem wasl isteningtome.
"
STOP!
!!JUSTF*
*KI
NGSTOPI
T!!
",Iscr
eamed
tothet opofmyl ungsandst ompedthewooden
fl
oor .Tearsnowmi xedwithsnot.Bot
hoft hem
turnedt owar dsmeandbackateachot her.
Backatt heirbleedingsel
ves.Theyletgoofone
anot herandst oodup.Kgokaganowant edto
saysomet hingt omebutIr aisedmyhand
i
ndi cati
ngt hatheshoul dstop.Immediately
.He
turnedt oMuzi andsaid"Youbet t
ersl
eepwi th
oneey eopent oni ght
.Stl
aelakewena"(..
.you
fool)
"That'
sify
ou'regoi
ngt
omakei
ttoy
ourbed
toni
ght,
sdidi
di.
"
Theyl ockedthreateningeyesonelasttimeand
Kaganoi ntent
ionallybumpedhi sshouldert o
provokehi mthenat temptedtowal kaway .Muzi
i
mmedi atel
ygr abbedhim bythebackofhi s
neck, sai
d"Uzony alakimimf ana!
"andpushed
hi
mf orward.Kgokaganowant edtoret
aliate
andIj umpedi nfrontofthem andpushedt hem
apart.Iwast i
red.
"You'
renotpr
e-schoolboys,pl
ease.Canyou
j
ust..
.ar
gghaaman! ",
IsaidandKgokagano
exhal
ed.Muzisti
llhadhischesti
nt heai
r.
"I
'
m notleavi
ngyouherewit
hthi
sani
mal
Remsy ",
hesaidandl
ookedatmeasifhewas
anti
cipati
ngananswer
.
"Wenaadv ocateMoloi,
thisANIMALismy
husband.Pleaseleave"
,Isai
dandkeptmyey es
onthefloor.Withmyhandst i
ll
onMuzi'schest.
Hehadputhi shandsbacki nt
ohispockets.He
l
eft.Hurt
.Buthel ef
t.

Muziimmediat
elyremov edmyhandf r
om him
aft
erKaganohadshutmydoor ,
alsowantingt
o
l
eave.Ihel
dhim byhisarm wit
hbot hmyhands
onhiswatchandhest oodsti
ll
,l
ookingaway
fr
om me.Hecould'vebeatenmeupal so.Ther
e
wasthatpossi
bil
it
y.Iprobabl
yshould'
velethi
m
goatthatmomentbutIwasnev ergoi
ngto
al
lowmyhusbandtowalkawayf
rom mewi
th
half
-t
rut
hs.Wi
thnotr
uthatal
l
.
"Ididn'tki
sshim back.I
t'
snotwhatitl
ooksli
ke.
Clichey esbuti
t'
sreall
ynotwhatitl
ooksli
ke".
Hewi pedhismouthandt ur
nedbacktome.The
frownonhi sfacewasenoughwar ni
ngbutI
kepton.
"Sphak...Bet
so.Areyouli
steni
ngtoyoursel
f?"
,
heasked.If el
teachandeveryword.Isawthem
str
ingoutofhi smouth.Betweenhi
slips.Hi
s
l
owerr ippedli
p.Theinsi
deofhisenti
remouth
wasr ed.
"Youcanuset
hebat
hroom i
fyoul
i
ke.
..
",Isai
d,
sincer
ely
.
Het hinnedhiseyesandfrownedsomemor e,
giv
inghi snosemor edef
init
ion.Hel
ookedaway
andwal ked.Ihadnochoicebutt ol
ethi
shand
go.Hewal kedt
omybedr oom andIsighedin
rel
ief.ForamomentIt houghthewasgoi ngto
wal
koutt
hedoor
.

Iwentov ert
ot hefri
dgeandt ookoutt hetrayof
i
cecubesIkeepatt hebot tom.Ihadt ori
popen
theboxIhadpl acedmyut ensilsintotakeout
theplasticbagsIuset omar inatechicken.He
cameoutoft hebat hroom wi thawetf ace,
massagi nghisj aw,withhisey esonme.It ook
theicebagIhadcr eatedandwal kedov erto
him.Itriedplacingitonhisf acebuthegent l
y
heldmyhandandt ooki tf
rom me.Atl easthe
tookit.Ifoundabi tofsolacei nthat.

Hepl
aceditonhi
scheekandwal
kedov
ert
o
t
hecouch.
If
oll
owedhi
m.Isatbesi
dehi
m.
"Whatareyouthi
nkingabout?"
,Iasked.St
upid
butIhadto.Ihadtoknowwhathewast hinki
ng
about.Whatwasonhi smind.Hekeptquietfor
aboutaminute.Thenexhal ed.Thet hrewt heice
bagonthecoffeetable.Ihatepeopl ewho
thr
owstuffonmycof f
eet able.Ihatepeopl e
whocarel
esslyplacestuffonmyf r
agile,gl
ass-
topcof
feetable.ButIkeptqui et.Ikeptittomy
sel
f.
"Youhaven'
tbeenmarriedfort
hatlongkodwa
seuyafeba?
"(You'
real
readywh*ri
ngaround?)
"
Excuseme!
?",
Ishotout
.
"I
'
m notachi
l
dBet
so.Iknowl
ovebi
rdswhenI
seet
hem"
"
Lovebir
ds?You'r
etheonlymanIl
ove.Theonly
manI'
vegivenmyselft
o.Arey
ouevenli
steni
ng
t
oyoursel
f?",
Isai
d,appal
l
ed.
"No,I'
m not.I'
m notli
steningtomy self
.I'
m
l
isteni
ngt othesoundoft her i
ngi
ngi mageof
youlockingli
pswi t
hanot herman, aft
erstar
ing
i
ntohisey esthesamewayy oustareintomine!
",
heshotback.
"
Itwasn'
t.
..
"
"Youknowwhat
?Sav
eit
.Al
lofi
t"
,hesai
dand
stoodup.
"
Oyakae!
?"(
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng?
)
"Youremotionsarehigh.Soaremine.Your
i
nfidel
it
yisstressi
ngy ouout.Idonotwantt
o
str
essy ououtsomemor e"
,hesaidandasked
met omov emyl egssohecanpass.
"Myinf
idel
it
y?Muzi howdoy oustandthereand
speakasifyou'
reperfecti
nthi
srelat
ionshi
p?",
I
sai
d,notmov i
ngani nchasIhavebeenasked.
"Souyavuma?I'
m notperf
ecty
es.ButIwoul
d
nevercheatonyou.Pl
easemove"
"Wow!",Iproject
ed.Thef actthatMuzibel
iev
ed
Iwouldlegitcheatonhi mr endersme
speechless.Imov edmyl egsandhewentout ,
l
eavingmet heredizzywithallsort
sofnegati
ve
emot i
onsonecancomet hinkofandev en
comeupwi th.Iwant edt
ocr y.AndIwasgoing
t
oal
l
owmy
sel
fto.

.
..

Iwassti
llsoakinginmyf eeli
ngsonthecouch
whenIheardknuckl esmakingconversation
wit
hmydoor .Istooduptogoat t
endt o
whoeverwasknocki ng,hi
ghkeyhopingi twas
hi
m andhewasbackt ohissensesandt urned
backatthedoor way.Itwasn'
t.
"Hisesilekae?"
(Hi si
sterhowareyou?).Itwas
theladyresponsi
bl ef
orcleani
ngourbuilding.
Thisisherknock-offti
me.Iwaswonder ing
whatshewasdoi ngonmydoor st
ep.She'slike
amot hertoeveryonewhost aysherebutshe
nevergoesknocki ngonpeople'
sdoorswi thout
avalidreason.
"Kegonalekaemama?",
Iaskedandwi pedmy
nosewit
ht hest
uff
edandraggedpocketti
ssue
Ihadi
nhand.
"Kegonangwanaka.Monnaomongwekuaf ase
onkgopet segor ekegofedil
otse.Ogabot se
l
ov ey?"(
Somemandownst air
saskedmet ogive
yout hese.Arey ouokaymyl ove?)
,sheasked
andIf eltli
kebreakingdownr i
ghtthereand
there.ButIdidn't.Iwasn'
tabouttoairmy
l
aundr yt oastranger.Shewasn'tastrangerbut
shewasast r
anger .
"Kegabotsemama.Enobamokhuhl wane.Ke
monnaomoj wang?Obol el
asekae?"(
I'
mf i
ne
ma.It
'sjustacold.Whatman?Whatlanguage
doeshespeak? )
,Isai
d.Kgokaganoi
saboutto
getonmyl astdamagednerve.
"Kelesoganalel
ebotselagoit
hata.Obol el
a
seZulu"(
Somehandsomeandcl eanman.He
speaksZulu),
shesaidandhandedt her ed
paperbagt ome.Ithankedherandattempt ed
toclosethedoor.Sheputherpalm againstit
andsaid:"Kerapel
agoresesegodut singmo
maf ahlengsegof ologe.Osal eomonny ane
kudugor eokar wal amat hataaoar welengmo
maget l
eng.Ebi lewanki mela.Got l
ol oka" (
Ipr ay
thatwhat everi sbot heringy oucomest opass.
You'rest i
llyoungt ohav esuchahugeamount
ofpr oblemsandst r
essaty ourage.My
shoul dersev enf eel heav yinyourpr esence.I t'
ll
allbewel l).Shesai d, smiledandwal kedaway .
Issheapr ophetorsomet hi
ng?Ibat tledwi t
h
whatshesai dunt ilIdeci dedtocl oset hedoor .I
l
ookedi ntot hepaperbagandi twasav ari
et yof
expensi vechocol atesf rom France.Wehad
spokenaboutt hem whenhewasst i
llther eand
Ijokinglysai dhemustbr ingme3chocol ates
foreachdayhewasspendi ngt herewi thoutme.
Ididn'tthinkhewoul dbecauseIev ent hought
hewasn' tpay ingat tention.AfterItoldhi mt his,
hesai d:"Babyt hemeet ingisaboutt ost artwe' l
l
talklater".Heact ual lypaidat t
ent i
on?Isunk
downagai nstt hedoorandcr i
edmyey esout .
Howi sev erythingbecomi ngmor eandmor eof
amesseachday ?Whodi dIwrongandwhatdo
Ihavetodot omaket hingsri
ght?Ifthi
sdoor
couldspeak,itwoul
dt el
lyouaboutal l
the
downst hathavebroughtmet otears,ri
ghton
thi
sv er
ysamespot .

.
..

Icouldf eelmyphonev i
brati
ngbutIwasi na
deepsl eepwheni tdi
d.Myey eswer epai nful
andmyheadwasachi ngandpul si
ng.Ihopedi t
woul dbehi m call
ing.I
twasn't.Iwas
disappointedbutIwasn' tgoingt obet hefir
stto
callhim.Notaf terheinsult
edmet hewayhe
didasi fhe'salway sget
tingthingsright.
"
Hel
l
o?"
"Thef
ir
sthear
tat
tackIhadwasn'tenoughaker
?
Youwanttogi
vemeanot herone?
",sheshout
ed.
"
Kedi
ri
leengnou?
"(Whathav
eIdonenow?
)
"
Nywedir
il
eengnywedir
il
eeng.OMOKAE
NGWANAKEWENA! ?I'
vebeencal
li
ngli
kea
madwoman!"
(.
..
Wher
eareyouchil
d!?
..
.)
"
I'
m sorrymama.I'
m sti
l
latmypl
ace.Neke
r
obetse.Kat
la"
(I
'm comi
ng)
"
Doyour eal
i
set haty
ou'
retheonlychil
dI'
mlef
t
wi
th?
",shesaidandsnif
fed.Thatfur
therbr
oke
t
hebrokenpiecesofmyheart.
"I
'mr eal
lysorrymama.It'
sjust
..
.al
othappened
today.I'
l
l t
ell
youallabouti
twhenIgethome.
Katlanou"
"Dri
vesaf ely.Iam beggingyou!"
,shef i
rmlysai
d.
Iassuredherandshecutt hecall
.Thet i
mewas
19h23.Isl eptforthewholeafternoon.Evenmy
bodywascompl aini
ngbecauseoft hissleep
abuse.Idi dnotev enfi
nishpackingupmyst uf
f.
Ipull
edmyt rainersneakersandputt hem on.
Thengr abbedmyphoneandcarkey sandr an
downst
air
s.

IpassedbyanEngengar ageandfi
ll
edupmy
tank.Thepetr
ol at
tendantsai
d,"
Bannaba
bangwebanalel emahlatsehl
ebanna"(Some
menar elucky
)asIwaspunchi nginthepini
nto
thespeedpoint.Iwasn'ti
nthemoodt obutI
l
aughedany way.
"Kabonaebi l
eony etswe.Lennabenkase
senyenakogenkabekehwedi tsel etšobal ago
swanal ewena.Ri ngy agoswanel asesi ska
for
wa" (
Icanev enseet haty ou'
r emar r
ied.Ialso
wasn'tgoingt owastet imei fIhadf ounda
fl
ower -
li
key oursel
f.Yourr inglooksgoodon
you.Don'tletthem li
et oy ou),hesai dandI
l
aughedhar der.He'
ssof orwar d.Idr oveoffand
myt houghtswer eonl yfi
lledwi thMuzi '
ssmi l
e.
Hislaughter.Iwasn'tsurewhatwashappeni ng
atthemomentwi t
husandourr elationshipbutI
wassur ethatInev erwantt olosehi m.Ipar ked
onthesideoftheroadnextt oachi
sanyama
anddiall
edhisnumber.Itrangandr
angand
rang.Andrang.Hedidn'tpi
ckup.Healwayshas
hisphonewithhim.Idiall
edagai
nandhe
answered.
"Baby
?",
heanswer
ed.Myhear
tdi
day
oung
highj
ump.
"
Myl
ove.Wher
ear
eyou?
",Iasked.
"
Theusual
hot
elIal
way
sgot
o.Why
?"
HesaidandIcutthecal
l.It
extedmymom and
tol
dherIwil
lbedelay
ed.Iwaspar kedata
danger
ousspotandmyanxi et
ykeptr emi
ndi
ng
meofthisever
ypassingsecond.Ithendr
ove
offt
oProteahotel
.

.
..

Igott
ohi
sdoorandr
aisedmyhandt
oknock.I
couldn'
t.Iwit
hdr ewitandstart
edbreathingin
andout .Yes,Iam herebutwhatam Igoingt o
saytohi m?Ifinall
ypull
edmy selft
ogetherand
rai
seditagain.Iwasaboutt oknockwhenhe
openedt hedoorandst art
ledme.Iretr
act edmy
handandt ookonest epbackwar d.Hewas
surpri
sedbutnotsosur pr
isedtoseeme.
"
Sawubona"
,hesai
d.
"
Hi.Goi
ngout
?"
"
Bengit
hingi
yothengaukudl
akodwasi
nce
y
ou'r
ehere..
."
"CanIcomei n?",
Iasked.Hebi thi
slowerlip
andlookedatmef orabriefmoment .He
rel
easedhisli
pf r
om t hegri
pofhisteethand
thensaid"Sure"
.Heopenedt hedoorwiderand
Iwentin.Hethencl osedit.
Iwenttosi
tonthebed.Hesatonasingl
e
couchandfacedme.Hehadjustt
akena
showerandhisconsumi
ngscentwasall
over
t
her
oom.
"Uzelaukuthiuzongibukaemehlweni?"(You
cameher ejusttolookmei ntheeye?),heasked
aft
ert heawkwardsilencethatwasinther oom.
Thet r
uthis,IwastherebutIhadnoi deawhat
for.Ij
ustwantedtobei nhispresence.Iwanted
himt oholdme.Iwant edhimt otel
lmehel ov
ed
me.
"
Ihat
eitwhenwef
ight
",If
inal
l
ygott
hecour
age
t
osay.
"I
sthatwhyy ou'rehere?
",heasked,hiswords
muffl
edbyhi srightfi
stthatwasburiedinhis
l
efthand,againsthismout h.Hi
seyeswer e
deadstrai
ghtonme.
"Yes",
Isaid.I
twastheonlysensi
blet
hingI
couldsay.Hethensnif
fedandstoodup.He
tookouthiswall
etfr
om hisbackpocket,
walkedtowardsmeandgav emeoneofhi s
bankcards.Iwassurpri
sedbythi
sgesturebutI
tookit
.Doubt ful
l
y.Hethenwal kedtot hedoor
andopenedi t.Hestoodtherewithhisey eson
hiswhitesneakers.I
twascleart hathewanted
met oleave.Ifel
tli
kecry
ing.Myhear tcoul
dn'
t
takeanymor e.Iwalkedtowardshi m.
"I
'
dhatet
olosey
ouov
ersomet
hingIdi
dn'
tdo"
,
Isai
d.
Heraisedhisfaceandasi ngletearfel
lfr
om hi
s
ri
ghteye.Hei mmediatel
ylookedi nt
hat
di
rect
ionasi fhecouldseehi sowney e.His
mothersaidhecouldn'tcry.Thathehasonly
cri
edonceinhi sent
ireli
feandt hatwaswhen
hewasbor n.
"Idon'tknowwhathappenedandI '
m notgoi ng
tocrackmyskul lt
ryi
ngtofi
gureitout.Ihi
red
peopletohel pyououtbecauseIdidn'
twanty ou
toti
rey oursel
f.Isti
ll
don'
t.You'
repregnant.You
tur
nedt hem awaybecausey ouclearl
ywant ed
tobeal ll
ov ey
-doveywit
hthatdonkeyofy ours
andhav esomepr i
vatet
ime.Isawy oukissing
theniggaandy ou'regonnacomeher eandt ell
mey ouwoul dn'
twantt olosemeov er
somet hingyoudi dn'tdo?Ididn'
timagineanyof
thi
s.Andt hewor stpartaboutall
oft hi
si sthat
I'
venev erevenoncehear dyouapologizef or
everyt
hingy ou'vedone.Lookst handwasami ,
takethatcardandusei tf
orwhatevery ou'r
e
goingtoneed.Il ov eyou.Butwecan' tbei nthe
samespacer i
ghtnow.I twon'tbegoodf or
eit
hery ou,meort hebabies.Youknowt hepin."

EDI
TED.
I
nser
t77.

Ipursedmyli
psandlookedup,tr
yingt opush
backthetear
s.Thegrav
ityi
nhiseyes, wi
tha
stampofzeroint
ent
ionforanynegotiati
on.I
snif
fedandall
owedtheti
psofmyf i
ngerstobe
theonestoushermytearsbacki
ntomyey es.
Hi
sgl
ancef
ell
tot
hef
loor
.
"Youhonest l
ybeli
eveIwouldcheatonyou
Muzi kay
ise?",
Iasked,wit
hnoideahowto
digestevenaf ewgrainsoft
hesit
uati
ons.He
raisedhisfacetolookatme.
"I
fitl
ooksandsoundsli
keacat?
",hegr
avely
asked.Iscof
fedbef
oreIcoul
dst
opmysel f
.
"Theniti
sacat.
..
",Ianswered.Hethengent
ly
pull
edmebymyshoul der
s.Ididnotprot
est
.
Wast hi
stheend?
Hekissedmyf or
eheadandlef
thisl
ipsther
efor
amoment .Hiseyeswer
eshut.Iwascertai
nof
i
t.Ipul
ledaway,t
ookhishandandplacedhis
bankcardther
e.Hehadnointent
ionoftaki
ngit
back.
"I
fyoudon'tt
akeitt
heny ou'
ll
hav et
opickitup
fr
om thefl
oor"
,Isai
dwi t
hmyey esonthevery
samef l
oorIwasthr
eateninghim by.Ev
erfelt
l
ikeyourhear
twasbleedingandy oucouldfeel
i
t?Byt hecoldnessthatfi
l
lsyourchest
?The
physicalpai
nthattakesoverandmessesyour
breathi
ngpattern?Itr
iedunhooki
ngthe
necklaceIhadonmyneckandhei mmedi
atel
y
stoppedme.
"
Keepit
",hesof
tl
ysai
dwi
thhi
shandsar
ound
myneck.
"There'
snoneedfori
tany more"
,Isai
dasI
conti
nuedwithmymi ssi
on.Heheldonti
ght
lyt
o
bothmyhands,theendr esul
thadtobeme
beingunabl
etomov ethen.
"Thereishonestl
ynoneedf oryonkeledrama.I
am ti
red.Iwanttosleep.May bewe'l
ltal
kwhen
bothourheadsar einabet terandsanestate
tomorrowbutcany oupl easest opbehavi
ng
l
ik..
."
,hisri
ngi
ngphonei nterruptedthe
compl et
ionofhissentence.Heexhal edand
tookitoutofhispocket.
"
Yes?
",heanswer
ed.I
mpat
ient
ly.
"
Baf othi
sisnotagoodtimeforumsangano.
Ufunani?
"(.
..f
ormadness.Whatdoyouwant?)
"Kahlekahlekahle.Yehli
s'umoya.Uthi
kwenze
njani
?",hesaid,withafrownofconfusi
ononhis
face.(Waitwaitwait.Calm down.What?)
"KuphiMQ?Ukhulumangani
?What
contr
act?
"(Wher
e?Whatareyout
alki
ngabout
?)
Heconti
nuedli
steni
ngunt
ilhepoppedhi
sey
es
atwhatManqobawassaying.
"
Whoawhoawhoa!Wher
ear
ethey
?"
"Just.
..cont
rolt
hesit
uati
on,
fornow,
ngiyeza"(
..
.I
'
m coming)
"Ngi
thengiyezadammi t!
",hesaidand
i
mmedi at
elyshovedthephoneinhispocket
.He
searchedforhiscarkeysinafrenzyonl
yto
real
i
z ehehadt hem i
nhispocket.
"
What
'sgoi
ngon?I
sev
ery
oneokay
?"
"
Angazi
Bet
soj
ust
..
.gethomesaf
eokay
?",
he
sai
dandpr
ompt
edmeoutoft
her
oom.
"Iam notl eavi
nghereunt i
ly out el
lmewhat '
s
wr ong? "
,Isai
dandhei gnoredme.He
quickenedi nt
ot heroom andpl acedhi
s
suitcaseont hebed.Heshov edhisMacBooki n
ther eandwenti nt
ot hebathr oom tocoll
ecthi
s
toiletr
ies.Healsoshov edthem i nther
eand
zippedi tup.
"Ihonestl
ydon'
thavethetimetobegoingback
andf or
thwit
hyou",hesaidanddraggedthe
suit
caseout.If
oll
owedhi m.Hecheckedout
andIwai t
edbytheentrance.
"
Whereareyoupar
ked?
",heaskedi
nahur
ry.He
want
edtoaccompanymetomycar.
"
I'
m comi
ngwi
thy
ou!
",Isai
dwi
thoutt
hinki
ng.
"
What
?",
her
aisedhi
sbr
ow.
"Let'
sgo.You'
ll
tel
lmeal labouti
tinthecar"
,I
saidandpull
edhim byhand.Her el
uctant
ly
mov edfr
om hewasst andingandledthewayto
hi
scar
.

.
..

"Arey ougonnat ellmeorshoul dIpesteryou

untilyougetsickofi t
?",Iasked,dr
il
li
ngahol e
i
nt othewal lofsil
encehewasi nsi
sti
ngon
buildi
ngbet weent hetwoofus.He
concent r
atedont heroadwi thhisj
awst ight
ly
clenched.Iexhaled.Afteramoment ,
"You'r
enotevensupposedtobeher
e.Seatbel
t"
,
heflatl
ysai
d-withhiseyesst
il
lont
heroad.
"
Canweputourissuesasi
deforthesakeof
what
everi
seati
ngyouuprightnow?",
Ipleaded.
Hegl
ancedatmeandcontinueddri
vi
ng.He
t
hentookaheavybreat
heout.
"Avel
elweisbei
nghel
dhost
age.
",hef
inal
l
y
confessed.
"
What
?Bywho?
"
"Idon'
thavethefull
detail
sy et
.Canyoupl
ease
buckleup?
",hesaid-withhiseyesst
il
lont
he
road.Hewasn'tdri
ving.Hewasf l
yi
ng.
Iopenedmymout htospeakbuti
mmedi at
ely
shutiti
nstead.Thedotsweresever
ely
scatt
ered.Nothingmadesense.

.
..

Iscurr
iedbehindhim ashemar chedt ot he
housewhenwef i
nallygott oKwaManzi ni.He
didn'
tevendri
v ei
ntot hegar age.Hejustpar ked
outsi
deandhur ri
edintot hehouse.Hef l
ewt he
dooropenandwentst raighttot hediningr oom.
Wef oundEvelyn,Enhle,andMabuy isitti
ng
aroundthetablei
nt hedar k-inawf ulsil
ence.
"
Ukuphi
uManqoba?
",Muzi
immedi
atel
yasked
whenEv
ely
nst
oodupt
ohughi
m.
"
Hewentout
.Wi
thy
ourf
ather
?",
shesai
dina
whi
sper
.
"Justthetwooft hem?What'
sgoi
ngon?His
storydidn'tmakesenseandnowhi
sphoneis
off"
,her eport
ed.
Evel
ynwasabouttospeakwhenheardthedoor
for
ceful
l
yopen.Muzit
urnedhisheadt
osee
whoitwasandMQwal kedin.
"Baf
o.Ubuy aphi?Wher eisshe?"(
wher
eareyou
comi ngfrom?),
hesai d,appr
oachinga
seemi ngl
yexhaustedManqoba.Hesl owlywent
tositdownont hecouchandwi pedhi
sface.
ExactlyhowMuzi r
eactswhenhei shi
ghl
y
str
essedandsev er
elyundersiege.
"Khul
umamfowet
hu!
"(
Speakbr
o!)
,Muzi
snapped.
"
Lihl
ehasAv a"
,Manqobafi
nal
l
ysaid,di
str
aught
.
Muzilaughedi
nwhatIcoul
dn'
tcountas
conf
usi
onordi
sbel
i
ef.
"
Lihl
ehasAv
a?"
,her
epeat
edi
nquest
ion.
"Yes.Lihl
ehasAva",Manqobastressedandput
hisforeheadagai
nstthetopofthetri
angl
ethat
thetangleofhisf
ingershadfor
med.
MabuyiandEnhl
ecr
eakedt
hei
rchai
rsand
appr
oached.
Muzi
wentt
osi
tnextt
oMQ.
"
I'
m ser
iousl
ynotf
oll
owing.Ukuphi
ubaba?Why
woul
dLihle.
..
?Awukhul
umeMQnawe" ,he
r
ambled.Manqobaexhal
ed.
"Okay.Uthikadeek'
fonelalomunt uemini
ungawabambi amacal
lswakhe.Yamaz
uyantr
ingakancan.Shel ostit
.Shethentook
uAvat oamany eamaflatleet own.She'
slocked
hersel
fintheresayi
ngshewon' tcomeoutunt i
l
youcomeandsi gnacont ract
.Ungang'buzi
ukuthieyaningobanam angazi "
(Shesaysshe's
beencalli
ngy oual
ldayandy ou'v
ebeen
i
gnori
ngher.Youknowshe'sabi tcrazysoshe
l
ostit
..
.don'
taskmewhatf orbecauseIalso
havenoidea),
hesaidandraisedhisarmsto
exempthimselff
rom f
urt
herinter
rogati
on.
Eachandev
eryoneofuswasconf
used.
"
Isshebi
pol
ar?
",Ev
ely
nasked.
"
Ithi
nkso.There'
snootherlogi
calexplanati
on",
Manqobasaid.Muziwasdeadquiet,obviousl
y
t
ryi
ngtopieceever
ythi
ngtogether
.
"Umshiy
ekuphi
uMnt
ungwamanj
e?"
,Ev
ely
n
asked.
"
They'
rewait
ingout
sidet
hebui
l
ding"
,MQ
r
esponded.
"
Cal
lthecops"
,Enhl
esuggest
ed.
"Ar
ey ououtofy
ourmi
nd?
",Muzi
immedi
atel
y
shotout.
"That
'snotagoodideababy
.Shecoul
dhur
t
her"
,Manqobasaid.
"
Hur
therownbaby
?",
thatwasMabuy
i.
"Yazin.Let '
sgo.I '
lltr
yt ospeaksomesensei nt
o
her",Muzi saidandManqobast oodup.Wet hen
heardav iolentknockont hedoor .Beforewe
couldr espond, t
heper sonbar gedin.Ev elyn
reachedf orherhandbag, placedherhandi n
therebutdi dn'ttakeany t
hingout.Ifiguredshe
wasr eachi ngf oragun.Muzi l
ookedatherand
hismout hsl i
ght lyhungopen.Hepr obabl ydi
dn't
thi
nkhi smot herwal ksar oundwi t
hammuni ti
on.
BabNgemawal kedinandsai d"I
ndodakazi
yenui sengozi ni!
"(Yourdaught eri
sindanger ),
hisey escl earlydanci ngbet weenMuzi and
Mabuy i
.Mabuy iwasi narguablyconf used.To
cutal ongst or yshort,Bab'Ngemaexpl ained
howMabuy inev erlostherf ir
stbaby .She
appar entlyhadapr emat urebirt
hbutt he
midwi fet hatwasat t
endingt oherwasbr ibed
withheav ycasht ol i
eandsayshegav ebirt
ht o
astil
lbor n.
"Soitwasn'tamiscarr
iage!?"
,Manqobashot
out.Mabuyi washyper
v enti
l
ating.Muzirushed
pastManqobaandwentt oquickl
ycatchher
from behi
nd.
"Br
eathest
handwasami.Pl
easebreathe",
he
begged.Hewasalsomaskingawaywav esof
pani
c.Evel
ynwasdumbst r
uck.Enhl
est i
l
lhad
herhandoverhermout
h.
"Bab'Ngemabewuthul
eleni
sonke
l
es'khathi
?"(
Whywereyousilentaboutt
his?
),
Muzi fi
nal
lymanagedtoputtogethera
sentence.
"Abaphansibasebenzangendl elayabo,
ngeskhathisabo.Okwami ukul
andelafuthi
nokwenzalokhoebangi tshelakonahiyeyi!
!!
(The
ancestor
swor kint heirownmy ster
iousway s,
atthei
rownt ime.Mi neist ojustfol
lowanddo
whattheytellmet o),hesai dascont i
nuall
y
mov edhisshouldersupanddownasi f
possessedbyacer tai
nspi ri
t.Hecont i
nuedto
sayhefeelslikeast
ormiscomi ngbuteveryone
wasstil
ll
osti nwhathehadsaidaboutAv a.
Mabuyiexplodedandletoutapierci
ngcry.She
wasstil
li
nMuzi '
sar
ms.Het ri
edalltocomfort
herbutnothingwasworking.Shetri
edto
escapehisgr i
pbuti
tseemst ooti
ght.
"Shhhhshhhhh.Ngizoyil
ungisayonkel e
nyakanyakangiy
ak'thembisaSamket he"(
I'
m
goingtofixt
hismessIpr omisey ou)
, hesai
d
withhisheadagainstherneckandhi shands
aroundherwaist.Icoul
dnev ergetusedt othi
s
sight
.

Shecouldn'
tstopwai
l
ingandi
twascl
ear
ly
breaki
nghisheart
.
"
Wehav etogo",Manqobasaidt
oMuzi .He
t
ightl
yshuthi
sey esandl
ookedup.Evely
nwent
t
or el
i
evehim ofhiscomf
ort
ingduti
esandtook
Mabuyii
nherhands.
"Doesthi
smeanherpar ent
swer ei
nont his?",
Enhleasked.Eachandever
yoneofusst art
ed
searchi
ngforanswersfr
om thenearestface
oureyescouldlandon.WhereisBab'Ngema?
"Ihopeforthei
rsakethey'
renot
",Evely
nsai
d
withherhandonMabuy i
'
sshoulder
,whowas
nowseat edandlayherheadonherf ol
dedar
ms,
ont opofthetabl
etop.
"Mfethu,masambe!"
, t
hatwasMQt oa
confusedMK.Het hengr abbedhiscarkeys
from thet
ableandtheyrushedout .Ev
elyn
l
ookedgui l
tyofcontemplati
ngmur der.She
thenshotoutasharp" Nxn!"
,grabbedher
handbagandheadedoutaswel l
.
"Mauy aphi!?"
,Enhlescreamedasshef oll
owed
behindher .Mabuy i
lookedtwogrievingwidows
i
none.Isl owl yapproachedherandhuggedher
shoulders.Shebeganshaki ngherheadsl owly
andt hencollapsedintoaloudcry.Icouldn'
t
holdmyownt earsback.Shewasbr eakingmy
hear t
.West ayedi
nthatposit
ionforabout7
mi nutesunti
lIfel
tmyback-breaki
ng.Shewas
thenqui et
.Igotupandheldhershoulder.I
didn'tknowwhatt osayt
oher .
"Letmegogety ousomechocolatecake",Isai
d
thefi
rstt
hingthatcametomind.I'
venoticed
sheli
keshavingitwhenshe'
sgoingthrough
thi
ngs.Shekeptstil
l
.
"
ShouldI
?",
Ipester
ed.Shesni
ff
edandgav
eme
afl
atandveryl
ow"Sure"
.
Iswi t
chedont hel i
ghtandwal kedint
ot he
ki
tchen, prayinginEgy ptiantonguest hatIfi
ndi
t
i
nt hef r
idge.Lucki l
y,itwast here.Aperfectl
y
cut,fatandl onelyslice.Itookitoutand
grabbedaf ork.IwentbackandIf oundher
standingnextt ot hewi ndow, sli
ghtl
ypulli
ngthe
curtaintothesi de.Thesunwascomi ngout.
"Here.
..
",Isai
dandsheturnedt
owardsme.Her
bigeyeswer ebl
oodshotandswol
l
en.She
off
eredmeaf aintsmi
leandherface
i
mmedi at
elychangedasifshewasseei
nga
ghost.
"Mbuso?Bet soruuun!",shescr eamedandI
subsequent l
ysawbl oodf ree-fl
owingf rom her
mout h.Iquicklyturnedmyheadandi twas
i
ndeedhi m.Shehadbeenshotandt hebust ard
wassmar tenought ouseasi l
encer !It r
ied
runningbuthei mmedi atelygrabbedmebymy
waistandt hesaucerf ellt othefloorand
shatteredintopieces,alongwi t
ht hebr own
cake.Het ightl
ypl acedaf oul
-smel l
i
ngwetcl ot
h
againstmynoseandIf eltmy sel
fdr iftawayi nt
o
unconsciousness, wat
chi ngMabuy i bleedfrom
herst omach...

EDI
TED.
I
nser
t78.
Ifel
tlikeIwasasl eepf orav eryl ongt ime.My
headwasachi nglyheav y.Myey eswer epai nful.
Myt hroatwassev erelyandcoar selydr y.Itri
ed
mov i
ngbutmyhandswer etiedt omyback.
Therewast apet ight l
yseal i
ngmymout h.Duct
tape.Itri
edscr eami ngbuti twasal l fut i
le.The
room wasempt y.Thel i
ghtwascomi ngt hrough
from asmal lwindowatt het op.Itfel tgr ey.It
smeltl i
kecement .Theonl ypi eceoff urniture
wast hesi nglebedIwaspl acedon-ont opofa
grey,it
chy ,j
ailblanket .Itallcamef loodi ngback.
Iremember edt hatMabuy iwasshotandshe
couldpossi blybedead.Tear sfellfrom myey es
asItriedunt yingmy selfwi t
h100%f ail.Itwas
tootight,painful anduncomf ortable.If eltcold.
Lonely.Scar edoft heunknown.Idon' tknow
whatpeopl ewhoar eaboutt odi ef eel l
ikebuti t
hastobesomet hingcl oset owhatIwasf eeli
ng.

Thedooropenedandhewal
kedi
n,wi
that
rayi
n
hi
shands.
"You'reawake? ",hesai dwi thasmi le.If
elt
disgustedandnauseousatt hesightofhim.
Somet hinghasal way sbeenof fabouthim.I
couldn'tplacemyf i
ngeroni t.Icouldn'
tplace
myf ingeront hef actthathe' sapsy choti
c
bustard.Ijustlaidther eandwat chedhim come
closer.Heputt het rayont hefloorandpul l
ed
mesoIsi tup.Idi dn'tfi
ghthi m.Hesl owly
remov edt hetapef rom mymout h.Parti
all
ythat
i
twasl efthangingonmyot hercheek.Tomy
l
uck, hedi dn'
tjustripitof fme.Icoul dfi
nally
breathepr operl
y.Ijustst aredathi m.
"Ther
e'snoneedtocr
y.You'
resafeher
e",he
saidandbrushedmyshoul
ders.I
sheinsane?
"Saf
e?",Iasked.Myv oi
cewasn' tcooperat
ing.
Whateverhedr uggedmewi thmust '
veburntmy
l
arynx.Hemust 'venoti
cedthis.Herushedt o
pourmesomewat erandhelpedt odri
nk.AfterI
wasdone,
"
Pleaseunt
ieme"
,Isai
d.Het
houghtabouti
tfor
asecond.
"
Ican'
tri
skt
hat
",heul
ti
mat
elysai
d.
"Pl
ease..
."
,Ibegged.Itr
ust
edmypuppyey
est
o
comet otherescue.Theywon.
"Okay.Justdon'
ttryany
thi
ngstupi
d",
hesai
d
andIquicklynodded.Af
terhewasdone,
I
rubbedmywr ist
s.
Hecamet
osi
tbesi
deme.
"
Why?"
,Iasked,
wit
houtmaki
nganyey
econt
act
wi
thhi
m
"Whywhat
?Whyareyouher
e?"
,heaskedwhi
l
e
scr
oll
i
ngonhi
sphone.
"Whydidyoushoother
?",Ienqui
red.He
stoppedscr
oll
i
ngandraisedhisfacetothe
fr
ont.
"
Ithadt
obedone"
,hef
inal
l
ysai
dandconti
nued
wit
hwhatev
eri
twashewasdoi
ngonhis
scr
een.
"Ar
ey ougonnashootmet
oo?
",Iasked,
and
swall
owed.
Hequi
ckl
yrai
sedhisf
acetomeinconcern,
put
hi
sphoneonthebedandcamet
okneel i
nfront
ofme.
"Nosweetheart
.Look,
thi
swill
probabl
ycome
asashockt oyoubutIl
oveyouandIwantto
spendtherestofmyli
fewit
hy oubymyside"
,
hesoft
lysaid.I
shenuts?
"How?Muzi i
snevergoingtoal
lowthat"
,Isai
d.
Softl
y.Iwasbeingcar ef
ulnott
ograteanyof
hisnerves.Thenutcase.
"Forgetabouthi
m.You' renevergonnaseehim
again.We'regoi
ngt ostartanewlifeinanew
country.Weleavetonight"
,hesaidandmyhear t
i
mmedi at
elywentcold.Leave?Leav etowher
e?
Itri
edmybestt oremai ncalm.
"
Leav
etowher
e?"
,Iasked.
"
Bangl
adesh"
,hesai
dwi
thaspar
kli
ngsmi
l
e.
"
Why
..ho.
..whyt
her
e?I
'
m pr
egnant
.It
'snot
..
."
"Don'
ty ouwor ryaboutanyoft hat.An
experi
enceddoct oriswai tingforust her e.
You'r
egonnahav esur ger yand. .."
,somet hi
ng
madeanoi sesomewher eout sideandhe
j
ammed.Hesl owlygotupandt ookoutagun
from thebackofhi swai st.Hesl owlywentout
andIgl ancedatt hephonenextt ome.I
hesit
at edbutt hepanici nmequi cklygr abbedit
andwentst raighttothedi aler
.Iwant edt odial
Muzi'snumberbutmybr ainwaswor kingwi t
h
him.Myhandswer eshaki ngl i
keadest abil
i
zed
towerundert heinfl
uenceofanear thquake.I
heardf ootstepsandIqui ckl yplacedi tbackand
l
ookedahead.
"Ah,i
t'
sabunchofst raycats.Nothi
ngtoworry
about"
,hesaidashepl acedhisgunback.I
nodded.Heglancedatt hephonescreenand
hisf
acequicklychanged.Hel ookedati
tandit
wasstil
lonthedial
er.Theonlyt hingImanaged
t
ot y
peinwas" 082"andhesawi t
,thenlostit
.I
f
eltathrashi
nghotclaponmyl eftcheekandI
i
mmedi atel
yfel
tli
kemyr ighteyewasbur ning
t
oblindness.Ii
mmedi at
elyplacedmyhand
t
heretocomf or
tmyski nfrom thet rauma.
"
WHATTHEF**KAREYOUTRYINGTODO
HUH!
?",
hef
uri
ousl
yshotout
.
"I
'
m...I
'
m sorr
y.Iwasn'
tthi
nki
ng.I
'
mj ust
..
."
,I
pani
ckedmywayar oundasensel
ess
expl
anati
on.
"Don'
ttestme,li
tt
legir
l.DONOTF* *KINGTEST
ME!",heexcl
aimedwi t
hhisindexf
ingerpoi
nted
outtome.Iquicklynodded.
Het
hentooktheropeandt
iedmyhandsagai
n.
Hewasn'
tgentl
e.
"Pl
easedon'
t.I
'
llbehav
eIpr
omi
se"
,Ibeggedas
Icr
ied.
"
Youdon'
tdeser
vemyt
rust
.Hesai
daf
terhe
wasdoneandpickedupt hebowl from thefloor
.
Heforcedmetoeat.Ihadnochoi cebutt o
al
lowhimtofeedthehor r
ibleporr
idgehehad
made.Iwasalsohungry.Hef edmei nsilence.
Withahardf
ace.Iateinsilence.Whent hebowl
wasalmostdone,heexhaledandhi sface
soft
enedabit
.
"Look,I
'm notabadper son.Ijust.
..Ibecome
heartl
esswhenpushedt oofar",hesaidandt he
wordsr esoundedinmyhear d."Hear t
lesswhen
pushedt oofar"
.Theysoundedf amili
ar.The
SMS!TheSMSIoncer eceived.
"I
tmightbecuterosesandlovescenesatthe
momentbutl etmejustwarnyou.Yes.
Muzikay
isei
sasweet heart
.Granted.Butt
rust
mewhenIsayhedoesnothav eahear twhen
pushedtoofar.Sogearupbabygirl"
.Wasithi
m?
"
Wasi
tyou?
",Iasked.
"
Whodi
dwhat
?",
heaskedashewi
pedt
he
cornerofmyl
i
ps.Ihat
edev
eryt
rav
elofhi
s
touchonmyskin.
"WhosentmetheSMS.Wasi tyou?"
,Iasked.
Theresembl
anceinthechoi
ceofwordswas
toomuchofacoinci
dence.Welockedeyes.He
removedhi
shandfrom myface.Myburning
face.
"Yes.Itwasme"
,hesai
dwi
thunwav
eri
ng
confidence.
"
Whatdi
dyoumean?
",Iasked.
"I
tdoesn'tmatteranymore.He'
snol
ongera
partofourli
ves",hesai
dandgotuptoputt
he
bowl onthefl
oor.
"
I'
m cur
ious"
,Ipest
ered.
"Cur
iosi
tyki
ll
edthecat
",hesai
dwi
thoutr
aisi
ng
hisf
ace,squat
ti
ngonthefloor
.
"
I'
m notacat
",mytonguewas,asusual
,qui
cker
t
hanmyabili
tytoputi
tonaleash.
"
It
'sametaphor
",hesai
d-St
il
lnotr
aisi
nghi
s
f
acetof
aceme.
"
Wel
l
,acathas9l
i
ves"
,Iadded.Hel
aughed.
"Lucki
l
yforyou,Ionl
yhav e8bull
ets"
,hesai
d
andcamebackt ositdownont he
uncomfort
ablebed.Sil
ence.

Aft
eranannoy
ingwhi
l
e,hef
inal
l
ydeci
dedt
o
speak.
"
It
'st
rue"
,hel
etout
.
"
Whati
s?"
,Iasked.
"Thathedoesn'thaveaheart"
,hesai
dandkept
hiseyessharpl
yinmi ne.Ibr
avedi
toutand
star
edback.Hel ookssomuchl i
keManqoba.
Hisdoppelganger.
"
Idon'
tbel
ievet
hat
",Idr
oppedmyeyest
hen
l
ookedaway.Wher
eisthispl
ace?
"
Whenl
astdi
dyouspeakt
oyourex?
",heasked
andasi
renwentof
finmybr
ain.
"
Kgokagano?
",Iqui
ckl
yasked.
"Yenal oy
o.You'
rehonestl
ysi
tt
ingher
enai
vel
y
thi
nkinghe'ssti
l
lal
ive?"
,hepr
essedhis
questionontomyface.
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"
"Letmetel
lyouali
tt
lestor
ywhi l
ewewaitf
or
yourpaper
work"
,hesaidbalancedhi
sel
bows
onhisknees.
"
Whatpaper
wor
k?"
"FakeI.D, passport
,andt hewor
ks.Sohere
goes...
",hesai dwithoutacarei
ntheworldand
Ijustsatt here,wai
tingformyli
fetost
artfal
l
ing
apartofficial
ly.
"Stor
yti
mest or
yti
mey ourso-
cal
ledhusband
oncekil
ledhisownbrother"
,hesai
dandwai t
ed
formet oreact
.Ifr
oze.
"
What
?",
Iasked.
"Yup.Letmer ephrase.Yourpr
ecious
Muzi kayi
seoncekilledMYt wi
nbrother"
,he
continuedwit
hhi sst or
yti
mewithhisteet
h
gri
tted.Icoul
dfeel andsensethehatredinhi
s
voice.
"
Youhadat
win?
",Iasked.
"Yeah.Theonl
ypersoninthewor
ldwhogotme.
Thankstothatf
**keryoucal
lahusbandhe'
s
nowgone"
"
Ithoughty
ouguy
shadagoodr
elat
ionshi
p"
"Hethinkswedo.Het hi
nksIdon'tknowwhat
happenedtomybr otherbecauseIwasn't
aroundwhenhemur deredhim withhisbare
hands",hesai
dandmyst omachturned.Ican'
t
evenplaceamereimageofMuzi kil
li
nga
personinmyhead.Wor sehisownbr other
?
Muzi l
oveshisbr
others!
"Heki
ll
edhim andhispreciousmommyand
daddyhel
pedhim coveritup.Incl
udi
ng
Manqoba!Manqobawassupposedt obeonour
si
de!"
,hi
sfurywasst
art
ingtowarm up.Heeven
gotuponhisfeet
.Cl
ear
lyfr
ust
rated.Hestar
ted
paci
ngupanddowni nt
heroom.
"
Pleasesi
tdown"
,Ibegged.Iwasaf
rai
d.
"
Don'
ttel
lmewhatt
odo"
"
Okay
",Imeekl
ysai
d.
"
Youknowwhatti
cksmeoffaboutthi
swhol
e
'
Oper
ati
onPr
otectt
heLast
born't
hing?
"
"
Muziisnotthel
astbor
n",
ther
egoesmy
t
ongueagain.
"
Thandoisnotaf
act
or.Ekhayawedon'tcount
womenwhencounti
ngthekids"
,heat
tendedto
mystat
ement.
"
Why
?",
Ilowl
ysai
d.
"They
'regonnagetmar
ried.They'
rej
ust
temporari
l
yther
e.Wherehav eyoueverseena
Zulufemalehei
rwena?
",heaskedandI
shr
ugged.
"AsIwassay ing,whatt i
cksmeof fi
sthefact
thatthey
'retr
yingwi t
halltheirmighttokeep
meawayf rom thethrone.I'
mt heolderone.But
no,abaphansi t
his.Abaphansi that
",hi
svexed
selfcont
inuedt ovent.
"But.
..y
ouwannagoawaynow.Howar eyou
goingtofi
ghtfory
ourthr
onei fy
ou'
ref
araway?
",
Iasked-hopi
ngtodri
l
lsomedoubtintohi
s
warpeddecisi
onsandchoices.
"Theycanallgotohellwiththeirroyal
ty.Allof
them.AslongasIhav ey ou,I'
m good.I'm
gonnabewi t
ht hewomanIl oveandatt he
samet i
mecr ushhisstupidspiri
t.Twobi rds
withonestone",hesaidandwi nkedatme.
Nothingaboutallhehasbeendoi ngsuitshim.
Mysisterhasalwayssaidt hathandsomemen
arenottobet r
usted.Thear r
ogantwol fsmel l
s
andlooksli
keadecenthumanbei ng.
"I
'
m sorr
y",
Isai
d.Hopi
ngtopunctur
esome
holesi
ntot
hecoldl
ayerofhi
sheart
.
"
Whatf
or?
",hest
oppedpaci
ng.
"Ev
eryt
hingy ou'
vebeenthr
ough.Youdeser
ved
noneofit.You'r
eaniceguy"
,Ir
ambledandhe
smil
ed.
"Urggh.
..you'
resoinnocent.Sobeaut
iful
ly
made.Iwi shwehadmetunderdi f
fer
ent
cir
cumst ances.Buti
tiswhatiti
sain'
tit?
",he
askedandIhadnochoi cebuttonod.
"
Wher
eist
hispl
ace?
",Icar
eful
l
yasked.
"Somewherei
nLimpopo"
,hesai
dandcame
backtosi
tnextt
ome.SoIwasrightathome
andnothi
ngcoul
dsaveme?
"Pl
easegoclosethedoor.I'
mf eel
ingcold",
I
pol
it
elyasked.Iwasindeedfeeli
ngcold.The
weatherwasstart
ingtofeelgl
oomyandt he
sunthatwasdancingont hewindowwasno
l
ongerinthemoodt oplay.
Hepl acedhi shandsi nhispocketsandgotup.
Hewasaboutt osaysomet hi
ngtomeunt ilI
hear dagunshot .Myi nsti
nctimmediately
forcedmyey esshut .WhenIopenedt hem, Muzi
waschar gingt owar dshim.Hetri
edreachi ng
forhisgunatt hebackbuthewasl at
e.Hecan' t
nurseabl eedingar m andwantt oshootatt he
samet ime.Muzi grabbedhim byhistracksuit
topandpushedhi mt otowardsthewal l
.He
punchedhi ml ikeamadmanont hewr ong
prescr i
ptionunt ilhebl edfr
om bothhisnose
andmout h.Thatdi dn'
tstophimf r
om injecti
ng
mor epunchesi ntohi sstomach.Manqobar an
tomeandunt i
edmyhands.Hewast heone
witht hegunsoIf i
guredhe'stheonewho
pulledt hetri
gger .Itri
edapproachi
ngMuzi t
o
stophi m butManqobapul l
edmebackbymy
shoul ders.
"
You'
regonnakil
lhi
m!"
,Iscr
eamed.Screamed
t
odeafears.Hewasli
keapossessedwild
ani
mal
.It
urnedt
oManqoba.
"
Dosomet
hing"
,Ipl
eaded.Ibegged.
"Somet
hingefananani?Youshoul dbewhoa
whoawhoa.Wai taf**
kingmi nut
e,didhedo
thi
stoyou!
?",
hesai dwhilepoint
ingtomyey e.
Muzist
oppedbeat i
ngthecrapoutofhi sbi
g
brot
her
.Heturnedtowar dsusandgotup.
"Youhadbett
erbef
**ki
ngki
ddi
ngme"
,hesai
d
asheinspect
edmyface.
"
Babyi
t'
snot
hingj
ustl
ethi
m g.
..
",
"Nothi
ng!?Bet soInev ertouchy ouasi ndoda
yakho.Nomat terwhatf **keryyoumaygetup
tobutIwi l
lnev erlayahandony ou!
!!
",he
screamed.Iwasaboutt or epl
ywhenhe
chargedbackt ohisbrother ,
pickedhim upand
thr
ewhi m agai nstthewal l
.Judgingfrom the
soundt hecolli
sionmade, therewasdef ini
tel
y
mor ethanonebonebr oken.Hewas
unresponsive.Washeal readydead?I '
v enever
seent
hissi
deofMuzi
bef
ore.
"Manqobadosomet
hing!
",Iscr
eamedandhe
exhal
ed.
Hewalkeduptohim andsai
d"That'
senough.
Takeherhome.I
'
llt
akeitfr
om here"
.
Takei
tfr
om her
e?Takewhatf
rom her
e?
"Pl
easecallanambul ance?",Ibegged.My
wholefacewassmear edwi t
ht ear
s.Ikept
wipi
ngt hem buttheyi nsi
stedoncomi ngout .
Theybeganwhi spering.Ideci dedtostop
snif
fi
ngandl ist
encar eful
ly.Muzi wasnow
squatt
ingont hefloorwi t
hhishandsonhi s
head.
"Angazi
.I'
l
lgethi
m cr
ematedorsomethi
ng",
Manqobasaid.Whatoneart
h?Theyboth
tur
nedtolookatme.Muziwipedhi
sfaceand
gotup..
.
Edi
ted.
I
nser
t79.

"You'
requiet
..
."
,hesaysandl ooksaheadaft
er
heparksthecarintheroyalhousegarage.
Noneofusbot heredwit
hsay ingawordtothe
othert
hewhol etr
ipback.Myheadwasbuzz i
ng
withendl
essquest i
onswithoutanswers.
"Letmetakey outoadoctor?
",hepressed.
Keepingont omysilencewasaneasieropti
on.
Het henexhaledandgotoutofthecar.
"Youhav ebloodony ourneck",Isaidbef
orehe
couldcloset hedoor.Hepausedf orasecond
andf i
nallywalkedaway .Iwasstil
lstr
uggl
ingto
digestallI'
vebeentoldandwhatIsaw.Hi sey es
werenol ongerbrightandwhi t
easIknewt hem.
Therewasashadeofdar knessandnotoni nch
ofregret.Whodi dIagreetogetmar ri
edto?
Whoseki dsexactl
yam Icarryi
ng?Iwasn't
confronti
nghim becauseIwasaf raidhe'
dhur t
met oo.Regardl
essofwhatIsaw, there'
sno
nerveofterr
orinmybodyt hatmakesmet hink
he'dhurtme.Iwast readi
ngcar ef
ull
ybecauseI
didn'
twanttoupsethi m andlosehim any
furt
herbecauseIwasal readyont hatpath.ButI
stil
lneededanswers.

If
inal
lymademywayoutoft hecarandwalked
i
ntothehouse.IfoundEv el
ynfeedi
ngan
i
nnocentl
yseatedAv el
elweinthekit
chen.She
wastryi
ngtoohardnott ofal
lapart
.
"I
'l
ltakeov erfr
om here"
,IsaidasIt
ooktheoat
bowl shehadinherhand.Shetri
edtoresi
stbut
Iinsisted.Shethennoddedandpattedmeon
theback.I twouldn'
thavebeengoodforherto
fallapartinfr
ontofthechil
d.
Shet henl
ookedar
oundli
keaconfuseddeer,
brushedbothhert
highst
wiceandwalkedaway.
I
twasnowmeandher .Issheawar eofwhat
j
usthappened?WhatdoIev ensayt oher?
Wher eisThando?Shewouldpr obablyknow
whatt odo.Ismil
edtoherasIt ookaseat
besideherandsheawkwar dlysmiledback.I
tr
iedfeedingheronespoonbutsheshookher
head.

"Ususut
hi?"(
Areyoualreadyfull
?),Iasked.She
j
uststared.Idoubtshelikesme.Shewas
eati
ngwi t
heasebef or
eIwal kedin.
"
Ava?
",Isai
d.
"
Huh?
"
"
Aref
ull
?",
Itr
iedanot
herl
anguage.
"Yesthanksaunt y
",sherepli
edandIsighedout
ofreli
ef.Thelastthi
ngIneededwast obest uck
withachi l
dwithanat t
it
ude.Ihadzerostrengt
h
forit
.Soshecan' thearZulu?It
rai
ledoffina
seri
esoft houghtsaboutherchil
dhood,how
shewaskidnapped,
whethershewast r
eated
wit
hcare,
wher eLi
hlewascurrent
lyandand
andandand.
Muzicamedownt hestai
rs.Hehadt akena
showerandasusual ,weari
ngallbl
ackliket
he
murdererheisandsmel l
inggood.Icouldn'
t
readhi
sf ace.Hecamet okneeli
nfrontofhis
daught
erandscannedherf orasecond.He
rai
sedhisarmssoshecandeci dewhet hershe
wantstohughi m ornot
.
Hercut eti
nyselfgotof
ft hecouchand
i
nnocent l
yfell
intohi
srelati
vel
ygiganti
cself.
Hepl acedhischinonhershoulderandclosed
hisey esshut
.Hedeeplyexhaledandmyhear t
broke.Hewasi nter
nall
yfall
ingapartandhe
thoughthewasmast er
inghidi
ngitwell.
"Areyouokaydaddy?"
,sheasked.Heslowly
pushedhim awayfr
om him andlookedheri
n
theeye.
"Howdoy ouknowwhoIam? "
,hesoftl
yasked.
Sheimmediatel
yl etoutacutelaughterand
sai
dshehashi spi ct
ures.Hekissedheront he
for
eheadandhel dont ohershouldersfora
whil
e.I
'v
enev erseenhi m soconfused,wit
hno
i
deaofwhattodo.Heal waysknowswhatt odo.
Hethentookouthi sphonef r
om hispocketand
showedherapi ct
ur eofGugu.
"Doyouknowwhot hi
sis?"
,heaskedandshe
shookherhead.Hebi
thisl
owerli
p.Hard.Then
nodded.
"
I'
m happyt
omeety
ouf
inal
l
y.Mom say
s..
."
"Babygirl
,thatwomani snotyourmother
",he
quicklyi
nterr
upted.Shelookedathi
m andkept
quiet.Obvi
ouslyconfused.
"BabycanIspeakt oyououtsi
de?",
IaskedasI
putthebowl down.Iwalkedoutandhe
fol
lowed,aft
erhandingAv ahi
sphonetoplay
withandplacingheronthecouch.Westepped
outandIcl
osedt
hesl
i
dingdoor
.
"
Doyouthi
nkit'
sagoodideatobombardher
wi
thev
eryt
hingall
atonce?"
,Isof
tl
yasked.
"Idon'tt
hinkthere'sanythi
ngthatmakessense
atthemomentBet so.Idon'
tknowwhatt odo
orwhatt osay.I'
v efail
edasaf atheranda
husband.I'v
ef ai
ledasaman! "
,hesay sandI
can'thel
pbutt earup.Iquickl
yt akehishands
andr api
dlyshakemyhead.
"You'
rethebestdadandhusbandanybody
couldeverask"
,Isay,att
hesameti
met ry
ing
toohardnottocry.Thetear
sdoastheyplease
andfall
,asalways.
"
Ift
hatwastr
ueIwoul
dn'
thavemissedouton5
whol
eyear
sofmydaught
er'
sli
feandmywi fe
woul
dn'
tbeinICU"
"Youcan'
tcont
rolever
y t
hingMuzikay
isey
ou'r
e
notGod.Somethingsjusthavet
ohappen.Now
welookforsol
uti
onstot hepr
oblemswe're
facedwi t
h.Ther eisnot i
mef orr egrets.Okay?"
,
Isayandwel ockeyes.Icouldf eelhissof t
eni
ng
atthesightofmi ne.Hethensay s"Ihav etoget
tothehospi talandwal ksbacki ntothehouse.I
putmyhandsonmywai standwat chhi m
conv er
sewi thhisdaught er
.It'
sacut esceneto
watch.Iwal kbacki naswel landIgat hershe
doesn'twantt ogi v
ehi m hi
sphoneback.He
ti
cklesherandshel aughshy sterical
ly.He
fi
nallysmiles.Genui nel
y.

.
..

Evelynsentpeopletogetmecl ot
hesbecauseI
hadn'tpacked.Shetri
eddi ggingt
hereasonsf or
thatbutImanagedt oev adeherquestions.We
honestlyhadbiggerproblemst odealwith.She
knockedonmydoorandIal lowedentry.She
walkedinwi t
hapaperbagandsmi l
ed.Ismi l
ed
back.Herpr esenceisjustso..
.warm.Shehas
that'
Everythingisgoingtobef i
ne't
hingabout
herenergy.Iwasi nat owelasIhadjustgott
en
doneloti
oni ngup.Iwasmar v
ell
ingathowmy
l
ineanigrawasdar keningbydaybeforeshe
walkedin,af t
erreceiv
ingatongue-l
ashingf
rom
mymot her.
"YouremindmeofmewhenIwaspr egnant .
Everyonewassay i
ngIwascar r
yingagi rlchil
d
becausofhowpr ettyIwas.I twasonl ywi th
ThandowhenIl ookedl i
keaGodzi l
la"
, shesaid
andhandedmet hebag.Il aughedandt ooki t
.It
wasaf ewcott ondr esses.Thel aughterwe
sharedwasqui ckev apor at
e.Thewhol ehouse
wasf i
ll
edwithsadnessandmel ancholyint he
air
.Didsheev enknowwhathappenedt o
Mbuso?Justt hinkingabouti tmademybr ai
n
scream tr
auma.Iwasy earningforapr oper
conversat
ionwi thMuzi .Shesatdownont he
bed.Shewascl ear
lyf at
igued.Ment al
ly .
Ev
ery
onewas.
"Whatdi
dLihl
e'sparent
shavet osay?"
,Iasked
asIputawaytherestofthedressesaft
er
choosi
ngwhichoneIwasgoi ngtowear .
"Appar
ent
lytheydi
dnotknowthei
rdaught
er
hadachil
d",
shebentherl
owerli
p.
"
What
?",
Iasked.
"Exactl
y.Buti
naway,
itmakesal
it
tl
ebi
tof
sense.Theywoul
d'
velongcamet
oworkthei
r
wayi nt
othisf
ami
lyi
ftheydi
d"
"
Wor
mthei
rway
?",
Ipr
odded.
"Ihadtofindoutatgunpoi ntthattheirmai
naim
wast oacquiresharesinMal oCon.Thei di
otof
amansawhi sl
ifefl
ashinf ronthim and
cracked",
shesai dinannoy ance,wit
hher
famousBr it
ishaccent.Forsomepecul i
ar
reason,Ihadanur getolaugh.Atsucha
momentandI ,hadanur get olaugh.
"Thi
sisamess"
,Isai
dandl
ookedahead.She
didnotr
epl
y.
"Whydoy ouhav
eagunma?
",Il
ookedt
oher
andasked.
"Havey ouseentheGBVstatsinthi
scount
ry?I
f
youhav en'
t,
IsuggestyoumakeGoogleyour
fri
endandbookshoot i
nglessonswhil
eyou'
re
atit"
,shesaidwithnoregr
et.
"
Doest
hechi
efknowy
ouhav
eone?
",Iasked.
"Iwoul
dn'
thav
eitany
mor
eifhedi
d",
shesai
dI
keptqui
et.
"
Buty
ou'
real
way
sguar
dedmus"
,Isai
d.
"Notal ways.I
t'
sirri
tat
inghavingpeoplearound
youal ltheti
me" ,
shesay sandget sup.Shethen
say s"Ineedtogett othehospital
.Don'tbe
freakedoutbywhathappened.I thadtobe
done".Shesay sandwal ksout .Sosheknows
thathersonki l
ledhisownbr other?
.
..

Ithasbeen24hour sandMuzi wasst i

llnot
back.Ial sowantt ogoseeMabuy ibut
appar ent lyherdoct orwon'tal
lowmet o.Even
Evelynwast urntaway .Muzi,asusual,hadnone
ofit.Av awassl owl ywarmingupt ome.I
wonder edwhyshewasn' taskingaboutwhat
"hermot her"did.Apar tofmet houghtsince
she'sasmar tchild,sheprobablypickedupt hat
somet hingwaswr ong.Thechilddoesn'twatch
cartoons.Shewat chesnewsandl earning
channel s.Sheaskedmei feati
ngpineapples
wasagoodi deaf orbumpybumpwhenshe
sawmepeel ingone.WhenIl ookeditup, I
foundoutt hatpi neapplescanactasan
abor t
ifaci ent.Iwasnowwor ri
edaboutt hetype
ofcont entshewat chesandr eads.
Iheardhisvoi
cebecausemydoorwassl ight
ly
open.Hewasont hephone.Iqui
cklygotoffthe
bedandpushedmyf eetint
omysl i
ppers.I
walkedtowardst
hedoorandwhenIst epped
out,Isawhi
m walki
ngtowardshi
sr oom.
"Youcan'tbecalli
ngmet oconsul
taboutsuch
minordeci si
onsother
wiseImayhaveto
reconsideryourposi
ti
onasamanagi ng
direct
or",hesaysandkeepswalki
ng.
"Tony !Tony !Tony !IfI'm gonnar unt hi
s
companyal l bymy selfthenpl easeemai lme
yourr esignation!",hesai dandIj ustknewhe
ment al stat
ewasnowt i
ptoeingar oundit'
s
breakingpoi nt .He'sbar elyrudet ohis
empl oyeesandcol leaguesi fnever.Hewal ked
andshutt hedoorwi thoutlookingback.Igot
thereandknocked.Hekeptqui et.Iknocked
againandhedi dn'
tr espond.Iwasn' taboutthe
l
ifeofknocki ngal ldaysoIbr avedi toutand
openedt hedoor.Iwasi mmedi atel
ymetbyhis
fl
amingey es.Hewasn' thappyt oseeme.That
wasf orsure.Hecontinuedtakingoffhi
s
sneakersandwasl eftwithhi swhit
esocks.He
tookoffhistopandwal kedi ntothebat
hroom.
Hecamebackwi t
hawetf ace.
"
Doy
ouwannagobackhome?
",hef
inal
l
ysai
d.
"
What?"
,Iaskedandhewentt
osi
tont
he
f
oot
stool
,faci
ngme.
"
Canwet
alk?
",Ir
equest
ed.
"Befor
ethi
sget sfar
,pl
easeforgi
vemef orwhat
yousawsthandwasam.I '
vehadamomentt o
thi
nkaboutitandIwaswr ong.I'
m sor
ry"
,he
saidandwaitedformetorespond.
"Whatwereyouexact
lywrongfor
?Forki
ll
i
ng
yourbr
otherorf
orkil
l
inghiminfr
ontofme",
I
asked.
"
Wouldyouhavepref
erredt
hatheki
ll
edyou
f
ir
st?
",heaskedandkepthi
sfacest
rai
ght
.
"Howar ey ousocal
m aft
ercarry
ingoutsucha
gruesomeact ?"
,Il
owlyasked.Hethenstoodup
andpl acedthepal
m ofhi
slefthandonhis
forehead.
"I
'
m notenjoy
ingt
hisBetso.Youknowhow
muchIl ov
eduMbu!Ithoughthewasmy
brot
herbutheobvi
ouslysawmeot her
wise"
,he
expl
ained.
"Whyist
hat
?",
Ial
sost
oodupandappr
oached
him.
"Di
dIli
veinhi
sbr
ain?
",hesar
cast
ical
l
yasked.I
scof
fed.
"
Whathappenedt
ohi
stwi
n?"
,Iasked.
"
Whatexact
lydi
dhef
eedy
ou?
",heshotback.
"
Answermeandst
opbeat
ingar
ou.
..
!"
"I
'm notgonnaentertai
nyourcrapbecause
knowingy ou,youalr
eadyhaveaconclusioni
n
yourhead!",heshoutedbackandIwalkedto
st
andcl
oset
ohi
m.Toocl
ose.
"
Whatareyouhi
dingMuzi
kay
ise?
",Iaskedand
l
ookedhi
mi nt
heeye.
"
Whatdoy ouwantf
rom meBoi
kokobet
so?
",he
r
aisedhi
sbrow.
"
Iwanttoknowtheki
ndofani
mal
I'
m mar
ri
ed
t
o",
Ishootback.
"
Doy our eal
l
ywantt
ofi
ndout
!?"
,hel
owl
y
t
hreatens.
"
Yes.Showmey
ourt
ruesel
f!
"
"
Arey ousur
e?"
,heasks,
wit
hhi
sbr
owst
il
l
r
aised.
"Assureasacol dheart
edmur derer"
,Isayand
hesay s"Okay
".Het henexpectedlyandhungri
l
y
smasheshi sl
ipsagainstmineandIt rytofi
ght
him buthehasnoneofi tandlift
smeup
i
nstead.
EDI
TED.
I
nser
t80.

(
REMOVED)

.
..
.

Iwokeupandi twas4mi nutespast6i nthe

mor ni
ng.Iturnedbackt ogr eethim buthe
wasn'tinbed.Ther oom smel tofhiscologneso
Ifigur
edhe'spr obablynotany wher einthe
houseaswel l
.IsighedbecauseIwashopi ng
wewoul dtalksomemor e.Igotoutofbedand
l
ookedar oundf ormycl othes.Hehadcar eful
l
y
placedthem ont hecouch.Igotdr essedand
wentt omyr oom.It hentookashowerandgot
changed.Ther ewasaknockont hedoorasI
wasaboutt oheadout .I
twasNokut hul
a,oneof
thehelps.Wegr eetedeachot herbef oreshe
coul
dt ellmet hatthere'
sar equestt hatIshould
makemywaydownst ai
rs.Webot hwal ked
downt hest ai
rsandpar tedway sattheendof
thestaircase.Ther ewasagat heri
ngar ound
thedinnertableandIwentt ot akemyseat .
Muzi wast here,sit
tingquietl
ywi t
hhi sback
agai
nstt hebackr estandhi shandsi nhi s
pockets.Ev el
ynwassi t
ti
ngnextt ochi efand
Manqobaacr osshi sbrother.Bothlookingl i
ke
they
'r
ei nnocentofanyi maginablecr i
me.Enhl e
wassi t
tingnextt oherhusband.Thewi ndows
wereopenandav erycoldbreezewasf reely
fl
oodingi n.
"I
'm notgoi
ngtowast eanyt i
me.Alothad
happenedinacoupleofhour sandIam not
proudofmy sel
ffornotbeingabletocontai
n
anyofit.Makot
i,I
'm sorr
yy ouhadtogo
throughsuchapainfulexperi
encebutasmuch
asMbusoi smyson, Iwillmakeitmymi ssi
on
tofi
ndhim sohecanexpl aintomewhathad
gott
enintohim",
hesaidandIshi ft
edmyey es
toMuzi.Hebenthisti
ghtl i
pstothesideand
kepthi
sey esonthetable.Evel
yngavemea" If
youdaresayanythi
ng..
."typeoflook.
"I
'
mjustgladt
obeali
ve.Ihopeumnakwethu
makesitt
oo",
Isai
dtothechiefandhenodded.
Sadl
y.
"Iboughtagoat.We'
regoingt ohavea
cleansi
ngceremonysikesisusewonke
l
amabhadi akul
omuzi"(
Sowecanr emoveal
lthe
badluckint
hishousehol
d),hesaid.
"Asi
khoisidi
ngosalokhoMbul
azi
"(
Ther
e'sno
needforthat)
,Manqobasai
d.
"Uyazizwaukuthiut
hiniweNathi
?Umfowenu
cishe..
."
(Areyouli
steni
ngtoyour
sel
f?Your
brotheralmost.
..
"
"
Ngi
yazi.Kodwa.
..
"(
Iknowbut
..
.)
,MQcont
inued
t
odefendthecase.
"There'
snobut s.Kufanelesiphahl esikhulume
nabaphansi ngobangat hisebes' ful
athele"(
..
.
weneedt odot hiscer emonyandspeakt othe
ancestorsbecausei tl ooksli
ket hey'veturned
thei
rbacksonus) ,thechi efsai
dandManqoba
fel
lbackonhi schair.Thent herewassi l
ence.
Muzi wasdeadqui et,withhisey esstillf
ixedon
thetabletop.Thechi ef'
sphoner angandhel et
goofEv elyn'
shandt ost andup.Hewent
outsi
deandl eftbehindsev eresilenceforeach
ofust oinherit
.
Enhlegotupandsaidshewasgoi
ngt
omake
breakf
astforev
ery
one.
"I
'
llcomewi
thy
ou"
,Isai
dandgotupf
rom my
chair
.

"Ar
ey ouokaydol
l
?",
sheaskedaftershepol
i
tel
y
gotri
dofthetwohel
psintheki
tchen.
"
I'
ll
beal
ri
ght
.I'
mjustwor
ri
edaboutMabuy
i",
I
saidandshesi
ghed,
put
ti
ngt
hepanont
he
stove.
"I
'
m honestlyhopef
ulthatshewillpullt
hrough.
Guguisaf i
ghterman.Ngifunakutholakalelo
mgulugudukhonaezoboshwal oswi ne"(Ij
ust
wantthisscumbagtobef oundsohecanbe
arr
ested),
shesaidandIcoughed.Thesecr ecy
wasinterr
upti
ngmyr espir
ator
yflow.
"
Ihopet
heyf
indhi
mtoo.Ukuphi
uLi
hle?
"
"Uboshi
weloyo.Ihopesherot
sinj
ail
",shesays
andweseeAv awal ki
ngdownthest
air
si nher
whitepyj
amas.
"Heyyypr
incess",
Enhlesaysandappr
oaches
her.Thel
itt
legir
llaughsandsays"
Heyaunty
".I
smileandgreetherback.
"Pri
ncesseswearpi
nkorpur
ple.Whyar
eyou
wearingwhit
e?"
,shesay
sandf r
ownsin
pret
endedconfusi
on.
Av
alaughsandsay
sshe'
snotababyandt
hat
pi
nki
sforbabi
es.
"Li
ttleMissGrown- up",
Isayandshecomesand
tri
est ositonthebarstool.Itwast oohighfor
her.Ihelpherupandhandherabanana.She
wasaboutt otakeitandwhenIt ookitbackand
askedi fshehadbr ushedhert eeth.Shenodded
andsai dit'
sbadmanner stoleavet heroom and
gospeakt opeoplewithasetofunbr ushed
teeth.EnhleandIlaughedandIhandedhert he
banana.
"Yazeyaf
ananomaway olenganey i
ngakhonje
l
oy asat
anbengafuni
siyi
bone"(Thi
schildlooks
somuchl i
kehermother.That'
swhyt hatdevil
ofawomandi dn'
twantthefami l
ytoseeher )
"Ngempelayazi"
(That'
strue),
IsaidasI
i
nspectedAva'sface.She'sl
ookslikea
combinati
onofbot hofherparents.She'
sthat
kidwhopeopleclaim shelooksli
keherfather
whenshe'swithhim butimmediatelychange
thei
rmindswhent heyseeherwi t
hhermot her
.
EnhleandIconti
nuedmaki ngbr
eakfastwhi l
e
Avawaskeptbusywi t
hherbanana.Muzi and
Manqobawal kedinandManqobai mmedi atel
y
said"Sawubonawena.Sawubona"att hesight
ofAv a.Hepi
ckedherupandhungheri ntheair
.
Shelaughedhyster
ical
lyandEnhl
er epri
manded
him.
"Haibobabyngit
heningest
ylalesi
sakho
sok'
phonsaiy'
nganeemoy eni
?Uzohlanza
unana"(Whatdi
dIsayaboutt hi
shabitofy
ours
ofthrowingki
dsintheair
?She'sgoingtothr
ow
up)
"Hayisuka"
,MQsai dandcont
inuedlaughing
withhisniece.Muzihadafai
ntsmilestuckon
hisfaceashest oodagai
nstthefr
idge.
ManqobaputAv
adownandsquat
tedi
nfr
ontof
her
.
"Unj
ani
?"(
Howar
eyou?
),hesai
dandshej
ust
star
ed.
"Awufuni ukungikhul
umisa?"(
Youdon' twantto
speaktome? ),hesaidandgav eherasad
frown.Il
aughedandt ol
dhi m shecan'thearhim.
Theyalllookedatmel i
keIhadl osthalfofmy
mar bl
es.Istaredbackatt hem inconfusion.
"
You'
retell
i
ngmey ouhaven'
tpi
ckedt
hisup
y
et?"
,Iaskedandt
heyall
shookthei
rheads.
"BabyIthoughtyouwereawar
e.Youspeakt
o
herinEngli
shthough"
,Isai
dtoMuzi.
"Idi
dn'tthinkitwast hatdeep.Ithoughtshe's
j
ustcomf ortabl
ewi thitsi
nceshegr ewupwi t
h
whitekidsandshi i",hedefendedhi scase.He
wascl earl
yast oundedt hathi
sdaught eriszero
percentint ouchwithherhomel anguage.Av a
wasj uststaringaroundatwhoev erwas
speakingatt hetime.ManqobaandMuzi l
ooked
ateachot herwi t
ht hei
rmout hshangi ng.
"
WazewalenzaudabauLi
hlenkosi
yami"
,
Manqobasai
dashepickedAvaupt osi
theron
t
heki
tchencount
er.
"
We'
l
lfi
ndherat
utor
",Enhl
esai
d.
"NahI'
ll
teachhermy self
.I'
l
lgett
oknowthe
pri
ncessintheprocess",
hesaidandsmi
l
edt o
her.Hi
ssmi l
eslowlyfaded.
"
Uri
ght
?",
Manqobaasked.
"YeahI'
mf i
ne.Ijustwishhermot hercould
wakeup" ,hesai dandManqoba' sfacechanged.
I
'venoticedthathe'djumpi ntoanopenf ir
efor
hisli
tt
lebrother.Mademewi shmyownsi st
er
wasst i
llal
ive.IfKgantshowasst i
llali
veandI
happenedt okillsomeone, shewould've
probablyrespondedt hesamewayManqobadi d.
Theonlydi f
ferencewoul d'
vebeent hatshe
would'v
ecr ucif
iedmeaf t
erwards.

.
..
Iwassitt
ingbymy self
,baski
ngint heaft
ernoon
sun,al
l
owi ngt hewarmr ayst
odancewi t
hmy
ski
nwhenThandowal kedinlookingli
keshe
fi
nal
lyfoundt hefactorywher
egl owis
manufactured.
"Heyy
ou"
,shesai
dandcamet
osi
tnextt
ome.
Shewascl
earl
yworr
ied.
"Ar
eyouokay?I
'm sosor
ryy
ouhadt
o..
."
,she
sai
dandIint
err
upted.
"
I'
mfine.Don'
tworr
y.I
'
drat
hernott
alkabouti
t
i
fyoudon'tmi
nd",
Isai
dandshenodded.
"Wherethehell
haveyoubeenanyway?
",Iask
andlaughatthesameti
me.Shelaughsaswell.
"I
'
m gladyoucanst
il
lfi
ndi
tiny
out
olaugh"
,she
saysandIsmil
e.
"Youwon'tgetawaywithchangingt hetopi
cso
easil
y.Whereoneart
hwer ey ou?"
, Iaskand
pointmyindexfi
ngerather.Sher eleasesher
uglynaught
ylaught
erandIj ustknowshewas
uptonogood.Shethenl
ooksaroundt
oseeif
nobodyisappr
oachi
ngandcoversmywhol
e
earwit
hherhandsayswhi
sper
s,
"Let'
sjustsay,yourgi
r l
isnowabot tl
eofv odka.
Undashed",shesay sandl ooksatmewi t
ha
naughtysmi l
e.Iwasl eftconfused.Ithen
rememberher" Vir-
ginandt onic"stat
ementand
Ilaugh!
"
Youl
i
e!"
,Ial
mostscr
eam.
"
Idon'
twi
shIwas"
,shesay
sandl
aughs.
"
OhmyGodThandohowdi
dyoumanaget
o..
."
"Well
,i
tdidn'ttaket
hatmuchconv i
nci
ngr
eall
y.
ItwaseasierthanIthought
",hesay
sandI'
m
sti
ll
lef
twithmymout hhanging.
"
Wai
twaitwai
t.
..wheny
ousayundashed,
do
y
oumean..
.di
dy ou?
"
"Weonlyusedpr
otect
iononceandIsaidf
**kit
.
Idesper
atel
ywantedt
of eel
ever
ybitofhi
m",he
say
sandcov
ersherey
eswi
thherpal
ms.
"
TMI!"
(TooMuchI
nfor
mat
ion)
,Isayandshe
l
aughs.
"Butthati
sjustpl
ainrisky
",Iadd.Acti
ngsai
nt.I
alsodidnotuseprotecti
onthefirstt
imeIdi
dit.
"Iknow.ButweboughttheHIVrapi
dt estki
t.
Theonl yt
hingI
'
m worri
edaboutispregnancy
now" ,
shesaysandcri
nges.
"
Didheatl
eastpul
lout
?",
Iask.
"Mostoftheti
me...
",shesay
sandcr
ingesi
n
embarrassmentsomemor e.
"
Mostoft
h..
.howmanyt
imesdi
dyouguy
s..
.!
?"
"Iendeduplosi
ngcount
",shesaysandIcan'
t
helpbutpopmyeyes.Thischi
ld!

UNEDI
TEDYET.
I
nser
t81

Gugui sfi
nall
yall
owed, v i
sit
ors.She's
appar entl
ynotcompl etelyoutofdangery et.
"Crit
icalbutstabl
e" .Ipickedoutanout f
itformy
visi
tt othehospital.Not hi
ngf ancy.Justthe
dressesEv elyngotf orme.Iwasi nmyt owel
afterahotshower .Afterget t
ingdressed,Iwent
toMuzi '
sroom tocheckonhi m.Hewasn' t
there.Iwentdownst airsandf oundMuzi
feedingAv asomef ruitsalad.
"
Goodmorni
ng",
Icheer
ful
l
ysai
d.Hesmi
l
ed.
Avagr
eet
edback.
"Letmet akeover
?",Isaid,of
feri
ngt orel
ieve
him ofhi
sdaddydut ies.Hedidn'
tl ookhisbest
.
Emot i
onall
y.Hethenl aughedandsai d"You
thi
nkI'm goi
ngtopusht hespoont oofarand
endupchoki ngher?
", heasked.Ilaughedtoo.
"
Noman.Ij
ust
..
.letmehel
pyou"
,Isai
d.
"Thanky ousthandwasami kodwasiri
ght.
Princesshere..
."
,hesaysandgent l
ytapsheron
hertinynosewi t
hhisindexfinger
.
".
..wasj ustt
ell
ingmeaboutherf i
rstt
imei n
Disneyl
and" ,
headds.I '
venoticedheav oi
ds
call
ingherbyheral r
eadyassi gnedname.Il et
him be.Ithentellhi
mt hatI'
mv isit
ingGuguat
thehospi t
alandhej ustnodswi thoutturni
ngt o
l
ookatme.He' sanemot i
onal messandi t
's
confusingformebutst i
l
l,Il
ethim be.

.
..

IseeThandohavingawhatIguesst obeal at
te,
si
nceit
'sherfav
or i
tewatchi
nghermot her
's
fl
owergardenoutside,
inherpajamas.Wit
hher
gownjusthangi
ngandunf astened.
Iwal
kov
ert
oherandgr
eether
.
"Heyyou"
,Isay
.She'
snoti
nherusual
sky
spir
it
s.
"
Heysi
s",
shesay
sandgi
vesmeaweaksmi
l
e.
"Areyouokay?
",Iaskbef or
eoneoft he
chauffeur
scomesf r
om behindt hehouseand
screamsthatt
hecarisr eady.Iacknowledge
theiri
nfor
mati
onandt heydisappear.
"YeahI'
mf ine"
,shesaysandrel
easesali
ght
giggl
e,t
ryingtocontai
nwhateveri
twasthat
wasdiggingatherpeacefrom t
heinsi
de.
"Thando?",Isayanddr opmyf acetomychest
i
nsuspi ci
on.Shet henlooksaroundbeforeshe
says"Okayokay .I
t'
sonlysinki
nginnowt hat
I'
vebeenr ecklesstheenti
repastweek"
, she
saysandt hrowsherbev erageri
ghtont
ot he
fl
owers.
"
Didy
oubuymor
ningaf
ter
s?"
,Ienqui
re
"Wedid.Atsomepoi nt
.I'
mtryi
ngtofi
gur
eoutif
Itookthem cor
rect
lyornotandnot
hingmakes
sense.Theal
cohol wehadal
sodoesn'
tmake
thi
ngsanyeasier
",sherambl
esi
npanic.
"
Wel l
,ther
e'sr
eal
l
ynopoi
nti
nst
ressi
ngout
r
ightnow"
"Woman.Doy ouknowwhomyf atheri
s?My
brot
hers?Iam awalkingcor
pse!
",shesay
s.
Emotional
.Ipul
lherintoahug.
"
Wedon'
tknowf
orsur
ethaty
ou'
repr
egnant
"
"Icanal
readyfeelt
hebabymov i
ng"
,shesay
s
andIalmostlaugh.Ideci
denott
o.
"AsIsai
d, t
here'
snopoi ntinstr
essing.Letme
goseey oursi
sterinlawandt hen.
..Idon'tknow.
We'l
lfi
gureitout.Okay?",Isayandshenods.
"What'
swrong?",
Muziasksfr
om behi
ndme.
Thandoquickl
ywipedhert
ears.
"
Uhm.
..she'
sjust
..
."
,It
ryt
oexpl
ain
"
Whohur ty
ouThando?WhatdidIsayabout
t
hatXhosaboy
?",heshar
plysay
s.Thando
pur
sesherl
i
pscheeki
l
yandl
ooksaway
.
"
Pleaseexcuseus?
",Iaskedf
rom Thando.She
walksaway.
"
Wast
her
eanyneedf
ort
hat
?",
Iasked.
"
What'
sgoingonwi
thher
?",
hebl
atant
lyi
gnor
ed
myquest
ion.
"Femi
ninest
uff
",Isayt
hef
ir
stt
hingt
hatl
ands
onmytongue.
"
Femi
ninest
uff
?",
hepr
esses
"Yes!Ihav
et ogo,
ANDleavet
hechil
dal
one"
,I
sayandwal kaway.Hewasst
eppi
ngonmy
nerves.

.
..

IthoughtabouthowpaleMabuyi
lookedi
nthat
hospit
albedwithal
lthosemachi
neshookedto
her.Pal eandl ifeless.Theset hought sci rculated
mybr ainasIwasbei ngdr ivenbackhomef rom
thehospi t
al.Forsomer eason, Ithoughtabout
howr elievedIshoul dbeshoul dshedi e.ButI
wasn' t.Iwant edhert owakeup.I 'vealready
gottenusedt ohav ingherar ound.I nourl ives.
Somet imesherbei ngt hereisapai nint heneck
butIdon' tt hinkmymar ri
agewoul dbet he
samewi thouther .She' snotdeady etbutMuzi
i
sal readyany thingbutf unt obear ound.He
evenf or gotaboutourf ightinPol okwanet oa
certainext ent .Het hi nksIdon' tknowi tbut
she'sal l het hinksabout .Hebl ameshi msel ffor
notbei ngabl et opr otecther .Ifshedi es, apar t
ofhim wi lldef initel
ydi et oo.Hesai dI'
mt heone
whohewoul dn' tsur vivelivi
ngwi thoutbutshe' s
adiffer entki ndofspeci altohim.I t'
sal most
i
mpossi blet oputi tinwor ds.Iknowf oraf act
thatifIwer et odi ehe' dbeshat teredbuti fshe
dieshe' dbebr oken.Doeshel ov ebot hofust he
same?I sitev enpossi bleforhi mt olov ebot hof
ust
hesame?

Wear r
ivedhomeandIr ecei
vedat extfrom
Evelyntelli
ngmet hatshewasatt hehospi t
al
andaski ngaboutmywher eabouts.Icall
edher
toletherknowt hatIhadal r
eadyleft.Iwalked
i
ntot hehouset hr
ought heconnect i
ngdoor
whichwaswi deopenandIhear dManqoba' s
voi
cei nt heTVroom.Iwal kedcloserint hat
dir
ection.
"Can'twebr ibeBab' Ngemaorsomet hing?
UMbul aziakay i
ji
kilendabay ok'phahl
a.Ifwe
don'tdosomet hinghe'sgoi ngtodisownt he
bothofus" ,Manqobasay s.Ipeepthrough.I
seehi m downal lhisdrinkatonego.Ther e'
sa
bottl
eofHennessyont opoft hecoffeetabl
e.
Muzi wasj ustplayingar oundwi t
hhisglass,
gentlyturni
ngandmov ingitaroundthehand.
Hekeptqui etforamoment .
"It
houghtI'
dtol
dy outhatIneverwanttospeak
aboutthi
severagainMQ.Especi al
l
ynothere",
hesaysandkeepshi seyesgluedtohisgl
ass
wit
hhisbackagainstthecouch.
"Well
kuyof
aneleuqinekemf anasekhay
a
ngobawehaveapr oblem onourhands"
(You'l
l
havetobestr
ongbecause. .
..
),
Manqobapresses.
"Awumenawe.UMbul azingekeak'di
sowne.If
ther
e'sonehecangetridofit'
sme" (
Stopwith
yournonsense.Dadwil
lneverdisowny ou)
,he
says,st
il
li
nthesameposi t
ion.
"K'dal
angiyi
bonal endabay okuthil
o
b'cophonyanabakhob' sebenzapar t
-t
imeandi t
closesonSat urdays.Youkill
edhim, yesbutI
hadhi mincinerat
ed!"(
I'
vebeensuspect ingthat
yourbraindoesn'twor ksomet i
mes...
),
Manqobasay s.Theypr obabl
ythinkthey'r
e
aloneinthehouse.
"
Iwast
her
e.Iknowt
hat
",Muzi
say
s.
"
Manj
ewanethezekangathumsulwa?
"(Whyar
e
y
ousorel
axedasifyou'
rei
nnocent
?)
"Ai
Nathi
.UMntungwacannotdi
sownt
henex
t
chi
efi
nli
ne.Rel
ax",
Muzistat
es.
"Okayakesi
theuqini
sil
e.Whyar ey
ouokaywith
beingdi
sownedwena? "
(Let
'ssayyou'
reri
ght
..
.)
,
Manqobaasks.Muzi t
urnstolookathi
m,
seemingl
yannoyed.
"EvenifIrunaroundnakedscr eamingand
chantingthatIdon'
twantt obedisownedifhe
wantst odisownme, that'
sexactl
ywhathe's
gonnado.Uy amaziunjan"
(Youknowhowhei s),
Muzi saysandf al
l
sbackont hecouch.
"Andifhetakesust ot
hecops?MKmf owethu
l
et'scont
ainthi
sbef or
eitget
soutofhand.I
wouldsurvi
veinjail
.Youwouldn'
t",
Manqoba
saysandMuzi laughs.
"
Uy angbhedel
akemanjeangi
sonaisi
yoy
oyo
mina"(You'
reoutofl
i
nenow.I
'm notaweakl
i
ng)
"
Sizoboshwayaz"(
Wear
eget
ti
ngar
rest
edher
e),
Manqobathreat
ens.
"
Noway s.UBabacandoev er
ythi
ngbuttakeus
t
othecops.Youknowt hi
s.Evenifhedoes,
we'
l
lfi
ndourwayout "
"Kodwanawemf owet hu.Bengit
hi mhlampe
uzom'dubulaorsomet hing,ukumbulala
ngezandla?Youneedt obelockedawayata
Zoo.InAustrali
a.Thenhav ethekeyt hrown
awayatZi mi naremot elakesomewher e"(I
thoughtyou'dmay beshoothi m orsomet hing.
Tokillhi
m withyourbar ehands? )
,hesay sand
Muzi doesn'
trespond.Itookaneggshel lwalk
tomyr oom.Iwasn' tsurewhatt othi
nkoft hei
r
conversati
on.

.
..

"
Bes"
,Isai
daf
tersl
i
dingmyf
ingeracr
osst
he
scr
eent
oanswerhi
scal
l
.
"Babes.Whydidn'ty
oustopmef r
om study
ing
medi ci
ne?Iwould'
vebeenbetteroffasa
stri
pper",
hesaysandIlaugh.Hesoundedr eal
l
y
ti
red.
"Okokae?"
(Wherearey
ou?),
Iasked.Hesni
ff
s
beforehecoul
dtel
lmethathej
ustgottohi
s
place.
Wecontinuetal
ki
ngandgossi
pingabouthi
s
pati
ent
swi t
houtrev
eal
i
ngnames.Justthe
dramaheseesonadailyatt
hehospit
al.
"
Hav
eyouhear
dorkeaphapha?
"(I
'
mfor
war
d?)
"Hear
dwhat?
",Iask.Wi
ththi
spersi
stentsmi
l
e,I
alway
shaveonmyf acewhenev
erourenergi
es
mix.
"Yourex.He'
satthehospit
al.I
ntensiv
ecare",he
saysandmysmi l
eimmedi atel
yfades.Ithought
Mbusowasj oki
ngorpulli
ngmyl egbut ,
howdi d
heev enknowaboutmyex?Thecr eepwas
probabl
ystal
ki
ngme.Myskinbegi
nscrawl
ing
whenIstar
ttothi
nkabouthowl
ongitcoul
d'v
e
beenhappeni
ng.
"
Arey
oust
il
lther
e?"
,Tumi
prods.
"
Yeay
eah.Whathappenedt
ohi
m?"
"
Caracci
dent
.Hi
sli
tt
lesi
sterwasdi
schar
ged
t
oday"
"That
's.
..y
ohIdon'tevenknowwhattosay".I
honestl
yhadnoi deawhattosay.Mybrai
ncell
s
werescrambled.Every
thi
nginmymindwas
fuzzy
.Ifbrai
nscouldover
heatasphonesdo,
minewoul d'
veprobabl
yexpl
odedbynow.

.
..

Icl
osedmywindowsandcur t
ainswhenthesky
begancat
chi
ngdarkness.Muzilethi
msel
fin.
"
Didy
oul
eav
eyourmanner
sdownst
air
s?"
,Iask
andfixt
hecurtai
natthesametime.Thesound
ofthemetalhooksr
unningacr
ossthemetal
rai
ntemperedwithmyheari
ngforasecond.
"
What
?",
Iwant
edhi
mtor
epeatwhathesai
d.
"I
t'
s" Excuseme? "or" Par don?",Mrs.Manner s",
hesay sandsi tsont hebed.Hewaswear i
nga
whitev est,bl
uejeansandhi sf avori
tepairof
sli
des.He' sinabadmood.Iam t oo.Mybad
moodi sinnomoodt obenur singhi sbadmood.
Iattemptt ositbuthepl aceshishandundermy
buttandIsi toni tinstead.Hewant smet osi t
onhi slap.Irollmyey esbutdoasher udel
y
requests.Het henopenshi slegssoIgeti n
between.Isi tandheat temptst okissme.I
couldsmel l t
hepot entsmel loftheal coholhe's
beendr inki
ng.Hi sey eswer ered.Theybecome
l
iket hi
swhenhehast oomucht odr i
nk.Iallow
himt ohav ehiski ss.He' sana* *holebuta
damngoodki sser.Het henexhal esandpl aces
hishandonmyt ummy .
"
ThisisnotthekindofpregnancyIwantedy ou
t
ohav esthandwasami"
,hesay sanddropshi s
f
oreheadonmyshoul der.Iwasspeechless.He
t
henraisedhisheadandmadeapur rsound
wi
thhislips.
"Idon'
tknowhowt osaythisbutIwanti
tto
comeoutr i
ghtsoyoudon'ttakeitt
hewrong
way "
,hesaysandever
ythi
ngst opsinmybrai
n,
i
nant i
cipat
ion.
"Atthemoment ,anenvi
ronmentwit
hmeini
tis
anyt
hingbutgoodforyou",hesay
sandst
ops.
I
sthismanbr eaki
ngupwi t
hme?
"I
'dhatefor
...I'
dhateforyout oloseourbabies
becauseofmeandt henegat iveenergyIbri
ng
toyou.I'
m notmy selfr
ightnow.I fIcoul
dI
wouldgoawayt osomeempt yislandtoclear
mymi ndbutt hatwouldbecowar dlyofme.A
mandoesn' trunawayf rom hisproblems.He
fi
xesandmov espastthem" ,hesay sandIkeep
quiet
.All
owi nghimtocont i
nuewi thhisspeech.
"Yourhousei
sreadyandf ul
lyf
urnished.You
canmov eint
here.You'
ll
hav eyourownchef ,a
helpandamasseuronst andby.Iwanty outo
beascomf or
tabl
easy oupossiblycanwhi l
eI
sortmycrapout"
,hesaysandl ooksatme.
"Areyoubr eakingupwithme?"
,Ifi
nal
lyask.He
exhales.Hislefthandwasnowont hesmallof
mybackandt heotherwasonthei
nnercorner
s
ofhisey es.
"I
'dnev erdot
hat.Apartfrom t
hefactthatIlov
e
yourunapologet
ica**,it
'snotpossibl
e.I'
m not
i
nt hemoodf orsuici
de",helowlysays.Wewer e
sit
tinginthedar
k.Thecur tai
nswereclosedand
thelightwasnoton.
"
Thenwhati
sthi
s?"
,Iasked.Hekeptqui
et.
"Andwhatdoyoumeanunapol
ogeti
c?I
sthi
s
whatit
'sabout
?Ar
eyousti
ll
punishi
ngme?"
,I
add.
"
That
'st
hel
astt
hingonmymi
ndr
ightnow.Do
youseet his?What '
sgoingonher e?Thi
si sthe
exactreasonwhyI '
m doingthis.Peaceisa
forei
gnconceptbet weeny ouandmeatt he
moment .Youdon' ttrustmeandunt i
lyout each
yourselfhowt o,wewi l
lforeverbeineach
other'
st hroats.Youdon' tneedthis.THEYdon' t
needt his",hesay sandput shishandbackon
mysmal ltummy .
"Ican'thel
pbutfeel
likeyou'
rehidi
ngsomet hi
ng
from me" ,
Isayandlookaway .Hethenshootsa
briefstar
eatmeandt el
l
smet ogetup.Ir
efuse.
Heexhal es.
"Youwanttof
ight.I'
m noti
nthemood.CanI
pleasel
eav
e?"
, helowlysay
s.
"
Doyouknowany
thi
ngaboutKgokaganobei
ng
i
nhospi
tal
?"
"
Him agai
n!?
"
"
Thi
sisasi
mpl
equest
ion"
"
Howdoy
ouev
enknowt
hathe'
sinhospi
tal
?"
"
Whatar
eyousay
ing?
"
"Exactl
ywhatI'
m sayi
ng.Howdoy
ouknowt
hat
he'sinthehospi
tal
?"
"
Youcan'
tst
il
lbet
hinki
ngt
hatI
'
m cheat
ingon
y
ou"
"That'
sit",
hesai
d,gotupandhel
dmesoIdon't
fal
l.Istoodupstr
aight
.Hethenwal
kedoutand
neverlookedback.

EDI
TED.
I
nser
t82.

Icont
inuedsit
ti
nginthedar k,swimmi ngi
na
thi
ck,
viscouspoolofconfusingyetstabbi
ng
emoti
ons.Ican'tswim so,mor el
ikedrowning.
"Knockknock",
Evel
yn'
ssoundedfrom outsi
de
thesli
ghtl
yopendoor.Duet
omyl uck,Muzi
didn'
tbangitcl
osedwhenhewalkedout .It
old
hertocomei nandquickl
ywi
pedt hel
inger
ing
dropsoftearsf
rom bothmyeyes.Shereached
fortheswit
ch.
"Pl
ease.Don'
t"
,Isai
d.Shedr
oppedbothhands
andexhaledl
i
keaconcernedmother
.
Shethenclosedthedoorandpati
entl
ywalked
towardsme.Shecamet ositbesi
demeont he
bed.Sil
ent
.Aftershewasdonegatheri
ngher
words,
"
Iam sor
ry"
,shef
inal
l
ysay
s.It
urnt
olookather
.
"
Forwhat
?",
Ilowl
yask.Shet
henexhal
esdeepl
y.
"I
'vebeenav er
ybadmot hertoy ou.See,iti
s
natural forahentowantt opr ot
ectalli
tschicks,
regardl essofwhogetshur tintheprocess.For
aper sonwhohaswentt hroughsomewhat
somet hingsimil
artowhaty ouhav e,I
'
m
certainlydoingabadjobatt hismot her-
in-l
aw
thi
ng" ,
sheconf esses.
"
Wher
eisal
loft
hiscomi
ngf
rom?
",Ihadt
oask.
Shet henstandsupf rom thebedandsl owl
y
walkst owar dsthewindow.Shepul lsopenthe
curtains,sl
ightl
y.Shethenlooksdr opshereyes
tothegr oundout si
de,wit
ht hepinet r
eeson
guard, wait
ingtocatchthem.I twasgr eydark
outside.Thel i
ttl
eli
ghtmot hernaturewaskind
enought obor rowmadei tswayi n.
"See,I'
venotgottent hi
sfarast hequeen
becausemymar riagewassmoot hsaili
ng.Hel
lI
wasal waysfighti
ngf ormyspoti nthis
kingdom",shesay s,andplacesherr i
ghthand
underherleftarmpitandherl efthandonher
necklace,
playingwi t
hit.Idecidetojustl
ist
en.
"Ngimi l
angiyacabanga.Yesesbekanonyaloy
a
mf azi
"(I
'
m standingherethi
nking.Thatwoman
wasbi tt
erandf ul
lofhatr
ed),shesaysasshe
clearl
ytrav
elsdowndeepmemor ylane.
"
Ubani
ma?
"(Who?
)
"
UMakaNkoseny
e",
(Nkoseny
e'smot
her
),she
sai
d.Mat
hemat
ical
l
y,t
hatwoul
dbet
hechi
ef.
"
Yaz.
..
",shesay
sandscof
fs.
"Iremembert hisonedaywher eIhappenedt o
breakt heframet hathadhi spictur
easal i
tt
le
boy .I
twasagenui nemistake.Thewomanwent
offatmel i
keIhaddest royedtheentir
e
kingdom.Tel li
ngabouthowunwor thyIam of
beingmar r
iedtoherson.HowIshoul dtakemy
Engl i
sh"leengiyikhiphangamakhal a"andgo
crawl backt othehol eIcamef rom.Shenev er
mi ssedachancet osmearmynamewi thdirt
andcr ownMaShanduwi thagoldenper f
ect
wifet i
tl
e",shesai dandkeptherey esout si
de.
"Butyouknowwhat ?
",shesai
dandshar
ply
turnedoncet
of aceme,wit
haslowl
ystr
etchi
ng
smi l
eonherface.
"Mymanmadesur ethatsheknewmypl acei
n
hishear
t.Whet
hersheli
keditornot
",shesai
d
andIwonderaboutt
hedirect
ionoft
his
conv
ersat
ion.
"
Iseet
hatinMuzi
kayise"
,shef
inal
l
yst
eer
edi
t
i
nther
elev
antdi
rect
ion.
"EvenifIwasamonst er-i
n-l
awt oyou,he
would'vedefi
nit
elystoodhi sgroundandfought
foryou.He'snotwithy oubecausehewast ol
d
tobe.Hei sbecausey ou'rethesunshi
nethat
bri
ghtensuphi sheart.Iseehowhel ooksat
you.Hekeepsl ooki
ngaty ouev enwhenyou
walkaway ,l
eavingther oom.Onl yamant hat
l
ov esyoudoest hat
",shesay sandIj
ustkeep
mysi l
ence.
"Iam apologizingbecauseI'mr eali
zingthat
evenbef or
eIknowwhat '
sgoingon, Iam
alway sr
eadyt otakehi ssi
de.Int hatregard,I
am amonst er-
in-l
aw.Babyy ou'
r estil
lachi l
d.
Everythi
ngthat '
sgoingonar oundy ouis
defini
tel
ynoteasyf oryou.Iknowwhati tfeels
l
iket obeay oungwi f
ewithsomanypai nful
responsibi
li
ties.Ihaveabadhabi tofsticking
mynosei nmysons' marri
ages.Ihadt oheari
t
fr
om Manqobat hatIneedtostepbackal it
tl
e.
Myrelati
onshi
pwi t
huMbal enhleiscurr
entl
y
unat
tracti
veandIdon'twantthatwi t
hyouas
well
",shesaysandmyi mmedi atethoughti
s
whattheyfoughtabout.Ij
ustnod.
"You'r
einarelat
ionshipwithmygrandfat
heri
n
l
aw.I t
'sonl
yrespectfult
hatIstepoutofhi
s
business"
,shesaysandIl augh.
"Thechi efal
solikessay i
ngbei
nginthesame
room wi thMuzikayi
sef eel
sli
kebei
nginthe
presenceofhi sgrandfather
.Appar
entl
yhe
walkslikeheusedt o",Isayandwelaugh.
"I
tist r
ue.Ev enhi svoice,hiscalm andsome
habits.Hisgr andfat
heral sohadt hist hi
ngof
pull
ingt helegsofhi spant sfrom thei nsi
deof
hi
spocket sthenr ai
sehi stoest ostandonhi s
heelswhenst andi
ngandbor ed",shesai dandI
l
aughedathowcor rectthisinfor
mat ionwas.
"I
t'
slikehedi edandwasphy si
callyreborn.I
wishhewasal i
vei ntheeraofsmar tphonesso
youcanseeav ideoofsomesor t
.I t
'sapityI
onlygottoknowhi mf oronly6mont hsbef or
e
heleftus.Come, let'
sgol ookfort heancient
photoalbum soIcanshowy out haty ou'
re
actual
lymarriedtoanol dman, shesay sandI
l
aughhar der.Wet henwal kedout .Iwantedt o
askheraboutMbusobut ,wordskeptf ai
l
ingme.

.
..

Nomat t
erhowgoody oumaybeatmast eri
ng
pretence,every
thi
ngy our unawayf rom duri
ng
thedaywi ll
alwaysf i
ndawayi ntoyourbrain
throughsomeunknownent r
ance.Ilai
dinbed
andt houghtaboutev ery
thingthattranspi
red
betweenMuzi andI.We'renott hesame" us"
any more.Theust hatcanj ustl
ookateach
othercasuallyandlaughatnot hing.Theust hat
candeli
beratel
ygetintosil
lyargumentsjustt
o
picki
ntoeachot her
s'brai
ns.Imi ssedhi
s
compli
ment s.Hisscentissti
ll
thesamebuti t
smell
scompl etel
ydiff
erent.Off.

Theset hought scarelesslyr ant hroughmymi nd

asIcont inuedt oholdont ightlytomypi llow.
Wet ti
ngitwi t
hmyt ear s.Itookmyphoneand
scroll
edt hrought hephonebook.Iwentst raight
toKgant sho'snumber .Ihadn' tfor gottenabout
herpassi ngnei t
herwasInai velyexpect ingher
toanswerf orsomer eason, li
kei nt hemov i
es.I
j
ustwant edtohearherv oi
cet hr oughher
voicemail.Itrangandsoundedl ikei twas
pickedup.Myhear tdidnotev enj umpbecause
Iwasexpect i
ngi t
.Shemadeherv oicemai lt
o
soundasi tshehadt akent hecal lthenaf tera
fewseconds, itgoes: "Goty a.I'
m notav ailable
atthemomentbutpl easel eav ey ournameand
numberandIwi lldefinit
elygetbackt oy ou.
Enjoyt her estofy ourdayandhey ?Remember
tosmi le".Ilistent oitandal l
owmyhear tto
breakf urther .Thatwast heintent i
on.I
emot i
onallyhur tmy sel
fbecauseIbel i
evei t'
sa
copi ngmechani sm.Il i
stentosadsongswhen
I'
m hur tandIr eplaybadmemor iesinmyhead.
Thiswasal soacopi ngmechani sm.Tohearher
voiceandul t
imat elybreakdown.I twas
deliberateandi ntent i
onal.Shewoul dpr
obabl y
tel
l met ol eav ehim, whateverthe
consequences.Icanheari tri
ngi ngitmyhead.
Inherv oice.WhenIcr yIlookforot herreasons
tocr ysomemor ebecauseIbar elydo.I
tt akesa
l
otf ormet oact uall
ybr eakdownandcr y.Av er
y
ti
nyl ot.

.
..

Igotupi
nthemor
ningandsatbut
tst
il
lont
he
bed.Iy
awnedandwipedthecor ner
sofmyey es.
Icoul
dfeel
theywereswoll
enandheav y.Ihada
gli
mpseatmyphoneandsawt hatIhada
messagefr
om Thando.Recei
vedat4:15am.
"Iknownot hingaboutpr egnancybutIknow
whatIf eell
ike.I'
m adeadwomanwal ki
ng", i
t
read.Wi t
hat ruckloadofcryingemoj i
es.Igot
upf rom thebed, tookoutthewhi terobefrom
thecl oset,pushedmyf eetintomysl i
ppersand
walkedout .Igott oherroom andknocked.I
receivedanampl i
fied"
comei n"andIknewshe
wasn' talone.Iwal kedinandf oundhersitting
ont opofhercr ossedlegsont hebedwi t
hher
facei nherhands.Herhai rwasamess.Ev elyn
wasal soinherni ghtgownwi thadoek
carelesslywr appedonherhead.
"
I'
ll
comebackl
ater
",Isai
dandt
urnedaway
"Nocomein.Iknowyoual
readyknow"
,she
sayswi
thhereyesonherdaught
er.
Ij
am abitbef
oreIsl
owl
ycl
osethedoorandgo
si
tontheothersi
deoft
hebed.
"Ial
l
owedy out ogobewi t
hy ourboyfr
iend
becauseItrust
edthatyouarear esponsibl
e
younglady.Ihadtoli
etomyhusbandandy our
brot
hersforyou!"
,shescoldsandThando
conti
nueswi t
hhermuf f
ledcry.
"Idon'
tknow.Ireal
lydon'tknow.Thesecr ets
thatyoukidsfor
cedownmyt hroataregoingto
betheulti
matedeathofme" ,
Ev el
ynsay sand
webot hkeepquiet
.Herfuryal sodiesdowni n
sil
ence.Shethenstandsupandpacest heroom.
Thecarpetabsorbsallt
hesoundf rom her
footst
eps.
"Alr
ight
.Wehav en'
tdoneapr egnancytestyet
butsinceyou'vealr
eadyconduct editwit
hy our
panicandsuspi ci
ons,whatisyourwayf orward
shouldweest abli
shthatyou'
rereall
y
pregnant?
",sheasked.Thandosobbedbef ore
shecouldrespond.
"
Idon'
tknowmommybutIdon'
twantababy
mina"
,shet
hensay
s.Ev
ely
nexhal
es.Deepl
y.
"Youdon' twanti
tbecausey ou'
reaf r
aidofy our
fearforthemeni nthishouseory ougenui nel
y
don'twantit?Havey outhoughtthisthrough?",
shest opspacingandput sherhandsonher
waist.
"Bot
h.Youknowt heymi ghtcutmeof final
l
senseandIdon'
twanti t.I'
m notready "
,she
saysandwipeshertears.Ev el
ynthr owsher
eyesatmeasiflookingf orasolutioninmine.I
l
ookawayandal l
owt hem t ofi
ndr efugein
Thando'
spurpl
ewal l
s.
"Ishould'
veputy ouoncontracepti
vesthe
momentIt houghtofit.Myprobl
em is,
Itrust
youmor ethanyou'v
enowpr oventodeser v
e",
shesay sanddeadsi lencer
evisi
tstheroom.
Shest art
spacingagai n.
"
Let
'ssayIdot
akey
out
oabor
t,ar
eyougoi
ng
t
obeabl
etol
i
vewi
thy
our
sel
f?"

.
..

"Ma'am,youneedt oanescor t
.Youcannotwal k
thesestr
eet sbyyoursel
f",
oneoft heguar dsat
thegatesay saft
erItell
him Iam goingf ora
walk.Idon'tneedthem.Thewal kwasgoi ngto
servezeropurposeifIwasbei ngwat ched
getti
ngfreshair.
"Ispoket
omyhusband.HesaysifIdon'twant
tocomewi t
hmethenit
'sokay
",Isay.Helaughs
asifhecansmel
lthef
oulsmellofmyl i
es.
"Ayi
yenzekikel
eyo"(
That'
snotpossi
ble)
,he
saysbeforehetakesouthi
sphonefrom hi
s
pocket.
"Hesayshedoesn'
twanttobedist
urbed"
,I
qui
cklysay
.Hecompletel
ydisr
egar
dsmy
stat
ementandconti
nuestodial
.Hebringst
he
phonebackfr
om hiseart
olookatitasif
somethi
ngiswrong.
"Umakhal
ekhukhwi
nwakheuci
miwe"
(Hi
s
phoneisof
f)
"See?Itoldy ouhe'sbusyanddoesn'twantt o
bedisturbed.Pleaseletmeout.I
'm gett
ing
sunburnt",Isai
dandmadesur etosound
i
rri
tated.Theyt i
ptoearoundussomuch, Ihad
toabuset heirfearformeandmypower .
"Olyt
.Ungahambelikudekakhuluangithiuthi
ufunaukushawaumoy a.Ngiyat
hemba
awungicambeliamangangobauzongi xoshisa
emsebenzin"(
Don'tgot oofar
.Isn'
titi
t'sonly
freshai
ryouwant?Ir eall
yhopey ou'
renotly i
ng
becauseyou'dgetmef ired)
,hesaidandt hen
openedthegate.Ithankedhim andwal kedout .

Iwal
kedasi
det
het
arr
oadandwi
thi
nthef
ir
st5
minutes, 3car shadal readyhoot edandhonked
atme.Idon' tknowi ft
hepeopl eher ear eov erl
y
fri
endlyori twasj ustmenbei ngt hemsel ves.It
fel
tgr eatbei ngout sidethehouse.Out si dethe
yard.Muzi hadgonet othehospi tal.Idi dn't
evenseehi ml eave.Ijusthear dthisf rom hi s
mot her.Whoshor tlyfoll
owedhi mt her ewi t
h
Evelynint hemor ning.Thegat eguar dsal ways
changeshi ftsatmi dday.Iwai t
edf ort hat
momentsot heyIcoul deasi lytr
ickt henewone
fortheday .Ijustwant edt obebymy selfand
watcht hemount ains,bymy self
.Manqoba' scar
speedi l
ypassedbyandIj ustknewhewasn' t
goingt opassandl etmel ivemybestl ife.He
gotof fther oadatadi stancebehi ndandt hen
drovet owar dsme.Iwai ted.Wheni tpar ked, I
reali
zedi twasn' thim.I twasoneoft he
chauffeur s.Thewi ndowr ol
leddownandIput
myhandov ermyf oreheadt oprot ectmyshade
myf acef rom t hesun.
"
Sawubonamadam.Ngenangi kuphel
ezel
e
l
aphouy akhona"
(Geti
nsoIcanaccompanyy
ou
t
oy ourdesir
eddesti
nati
on)
"Ngi
ri
ghtngiyabonga.Ngiyazi
hambelanj
e"(
I'
m
okaythanks.I
'mjusttaki
ngawal k)
"Hai
bo,
baphi
oonogada?
"(Wher
ear
ethe
guar
ds?)
"Ungayi
hluphikakhul
u.Actuall
y,kukhonalapho
ngif
unaungiyisekhona?)"
(Don'tworrytoomuch.
Actual
l
y,thereisaplacewher eIwanty outo
takeme),Isaidandhewai tedformet ospeak,
withhi
shandont hesteer
ingwheel .

UNEDI
TEDYET.
I
nser
t83.

"Ungay
ihl
uphikakhul
u.Actual
l
y,kukhonal
apho
ngif
unaungi
yi
sekhona? "
,Isai
dandhewai t
ed
f
ormet ospeak,
wit
hhi
shandont
hest
eer
ing
wheel
.
"Kubab'
Ngema?",
Isayandhenods.Igeti
nand
hedri
vestowar
dsthesamedif
fer
enthewas
comingfr
om.
Wegett her
eandIseeBab'Ngemaclosi
ngthe
smallgatet
ohisyar
d.Hestandsandstaresi
n
ourdir
ecti
on.Thedr
iverpar
ksthecarout
side
theyardandIgetof
f.
"Sawubonababa" ,IsayonceIgett ot
hegat e.
Hegreet sbackandopensi t.Hethenwalks
towardshi shutandIdot hemostsensible
thi
ngt herewast odoatthatmoment ,which
was,tof oll
owhim.Het henstopsatthedoor
andpoi ntstothesidetoremindmet hatImust
takeoffmyshoes.Idoasi nstr
uctedandwe
walkinandsi t.
"
Ngikusizanganinganey
ami ?
",hesay
sashe
i
nspectstheli
tt
lejar
sbehindhim.
"Uhm.
..Ihav
e..
.ngi
nombuz
obaba"
(Ihav
ea
quest
ion)
"
Mm- huh?"
,hesaysi
nat hr
oatyv
oice,
indi
cat
ing
t
hatIshoul
dcarryonspeaki
ng.
"Kuyi
qini
soukuthimesi
ngahlukanano
Phakamaniuzoshonayena?Kanyenamadoda
wonk..
."(
Howtrueisitt
hati
fPhakamaniandI
breakuphe'
sgoi ngt
odie?Alongwit
hall
the
men...
)
"
Yebokuy
iqi
niso"
(Yesi
tist
rue)
,hei
nter
rupt
s.
"Bengi
kuli
ndi
lengobabengaziukuthi
usendl
eleni
"(
Iwasexpecti
ngyoubecauseI
knewy ouwerecoming)
,hestated.Ij
ustkeep
myheadbowed.Ihadt oask.Ineededtobe
sureandgetfur
thercl
ari
tyonthismatter
.
"I
impilokanyenemiphefumuloy enui
bophi
we.
Abaphansi benungekebajabuleuma
ni
ngahl ukanakodwakhonakukhona
eningakwenzaukwehlisaulakalwabouma
ngempel ani
ngasafunani"
(Bothyourli
vesand
spir
itsareti
edtogether
.Yourancestorswon't
behappyi fyoudecidetobreakapart.However
,
thereissomethingyoucandot ocalmt hei
r
wrathifyoutrul
ydon'twanteachother
anymor e)
,heexplai
nsandmyear simmediatel
y
stand.
"
Yini
lokho?
"(Andt
hati
s?)
,Ii
nqui
red.
"Lentoengizoyi
chazamanjeisebenzakuphela
umanonkeni ngasaf
uniukuhl
alaemendweni .
Umakusekhonaot handaukuqhubekaangeke
njeiz'
isebenze"
,hesaysandInodt oshowt hat
I
'mf oll
owing.
"Kuzofanelenizel aekhayanembuzi emny ama.
Lembuzi i
zohlatshwauy enaumny eni wakho.
Maseqedi le,ngi
zonisikakancanilaph'ezandleni
,
ngit
hathei gazilenunobabilingi
li
hlanganisena
l
embuzi khonani zol
iphuza.Kodwaphambi
kokuthikonkel okukwenzi we,kufanele
kushiswei mphephouPhakamani azokwazi
ukukhulumanabadal a"(You'llhavetocome
herewi t
habl ackgoat .Thisgoati sgoi
ngtobe
slaughteredbyy ourhusband.Whenhe' sdone, I
willcutyousomewher ei nyourhands, t
akey our
bloodandmi xitwiththegoat 'ssothatbothof
youcandr i
nkit.Butbef oreallthi
sisdone,we
willhavetoburnsomei ncensesoPhakamani
canbeabl etospeakt ot heancestors)
,he
explainsandIshi veratt hethoughtofdri
nking
blood.
"Kodwalesiakusi
sonaisi
zat
huesikulet
hela.
Angit
hi?
"(Butthi
sisnotther
easony ou'
reher
e.
Right
?),
hesay sandInod.
"I
yinganezakhoziphephi l
e.Abaphansi bahlezi
bezivi
kelakuyoyonkei mimoyaemi bi
nezingozi"
(Yourkidsaresafe.Theancest ors
arealwayspr ot
ectingthem fr
om allbadspi ri
ts
andaccidents),hesay sandIpopmyey es.How
di
dheknowwhatI '
m herefor
?Butoh!Of
course.Howcoul dIexpectanyl essfrom a
per
sonwho'
scar
eeri
sspeaki
ngt
othedead?
"
Kodwaesbhedl
elabat
he.
..
"(Butatt
hehospi
tal
t
heysai
d..
.)
"
Khohl
wangesbhedlel
a",
hef
ir
mlyst
atedandI
i
mmediat
elykeptshut
.
"Kodwangobangi yawubonaumoy awakho
uhluphekil
e, ngi
zokugezaukuthiuthole
ukuthula"(
ButbecauseIcanseet haty ourspi
ri
t
i
sunset tl
ed, Iwil
lgi
vey ouabathsoy oucan
fi
ndpeace) ,
hesay sandInod.Thel astt i
meI
hadoneofhi sbathsIcameoutf eelinglikea
newbor nbaby .Iwould'
vebeenver y
disappointedifhedidn'
tagree.Wet henhear da
carparkout side,
"Umnyeniwakhonayeusefi
kil
e.Fut
hi ni
iyeke
l
entoyenuyokuqci
nelanai
mf i
hlongoba
i
zonil
imazanobabi
li
"(
Yourhusbandisalsohere.
Thetwoofy oumuststopthi
shabitofkeeping
secr
etsfr
om oneanotherbecauseit
'sgoingto
hurty
ouboth),hesaysandstandsup,leavi
ng
meseatedthere.Hethencomesbackwi th
Muzi,whowassur pri
sedbutnotsosurpri
sedto
fi
ndmet her
e.Hepr obabl
yfoundevery
thingout
fr
om thedri
verwaiti
ngformeout si
de.
Hetakeshisseatandmaint
ainshi
ssi
lence.
Thehealerexhal
esbef
orehecanspeak.
"Abaphansi abanemenezengawenezandla
zakhoezi gcweleigaziMntungwa"
(The
ancestorsar enothappywi t
hyouandyour
handst hatarefullofbl
ood)
HesaysandMuzibowshishead.He'
snot
pr
oudofwhathedid.Iki
ndafi
ndsomesolace
i
nthat
.
"Uzelangobaufunaukungicelaukut
hi
ngiy
igci
neimfi
hloyenunomf owenungosuku
l
okuphahlaangi
thi?
"(You'
reheretoaskmet o
keepyoursecr
etbetweeny ouandy ourbr
other
onthedayoftheceremonyr ight
?)
"Yebobaba"
,Muzi
shamef
ull
yagr
eesand
purseshi
sli
ps.
Theheal
erexhal
es.Deepl
y.
"I
nkosi i
zoqhubekangal omsebenzi nithanda
ningathandi kodwake, abaphansingeke
bav umeukut hiubukhosibushabalalengenxa
yegazieli
ngekhol wabo" (
Thekingisgoi ngon
withthisceremonywhet hert
het woofy oulike
i
tornotbut ,theancest orswil
lneverwat cht he
chieft
aincytof al
lapartbecauseofbl oodt hat
i
sn'ttheir
s),hesay sandbewi l
derment
i
mmedi atel
yf al
lsuponMuzi .
"UMbusobekungey enaumf owenu"(
Mbusowas
neveryourbr
other)
, hestat
edandwebot hpop
oureyes.SoMaShanducheat edonthechief
?I
ponderedoverthi
swhi l
eatt hesametime,it
madesensewhyMbusowasnev erthechosen
upcomingchief
!
.
..

WhenIgotoutoft hehut,t
herewasonl yone
carparkedout
side.Muziprobablytol
dthe
dri
vertogo.Il
efthimintherebecausethe
heal
eraskedthatIexcusethem.Whenhe
fi
nall
ygotout,
wegott othecarandgoti n.His
headimmediatel
yhitthebackrestofthecar.He
cl
earl
yhadnoi deahowt odigestwhathehad
beentold.
"Ar
eyouokay?
",Iasked.Het
hent
urnedhi
s
headt
olookatme.
"Ar
eYOUokay ?"
,heaskedandsmil
ed.Ascene
Ihaven'
tseeni
nav er
ylongti
me.
"I
yakufanel
aidol
yazi
"(
Aheadwraplooksgood
ony ou),
hesaysandIsmil
e.Hethencupsmy
facewithhi
shandandrunsmychinwi t
hhis
palm.
"
I'
m sor
ry"
,Il
etout
.Hecl
osedhi
sey
esand
exhal
es.
"Let
'sgohome"
,hewhi
sper
sbef
orehecan
star
tdri
vi
ng.

.
..

Wegethomeandmakeourwayoutofthecar
.I
walki
nfi
rstandhepl
aceshi
shandsonmy
shoul
der
s.
"Daddy
!",
Avacheer
edandr ani
ntoMuzi
'
sready
andopenarms.Hetickl
edherandshel
aughed.
"Gr
andmatookmet otheshops.Comesee
whatwegot",hesay
sanddragshim byt
he
handimmediatel
ywhenheputsherdown.
She'
ssocute.
Theywalkint
othel
ivi
ngroom andIfol
l
owthem.
Evel
ynwasseatedonthecouchwithherf
acei
n
herhand.Shewasexhaust
edanditwas
obvi
ous.Isi
tbesi
deherasAv
aandherdad
wentthr
oughthebags.
"Remindmetonevergoshoppingwi thachil
d
onsteroi
dsev
eragain"
,shewhi spersandI
l
augh.Avaisabal
lofenergywhenshe' si
nthe
mood.Onceshegetsintothatstate,noonecan
keepup.
"
UGogoongot
hungel
e..
."
"Ungi
-THE-ngel
e,sayi
t"
,Muzi
immedi
atel
y
corr
ects.
"
Ungot
hengel
e",
shet
ri
esagai
n
"
UNGI.NGIAva.NGI
.Sayitagai
n",
teacherMuzi
wasati
tagai
n.Aval
aughswi t
hherhandonher
mout
h.Shewasembarrassed.
"Zamaf
uthi
sthandwasami
ngi
yak'
cel
a"(
Try
agai
nmyloveIbegyou)
"
Okay.Ungi
THEngel
e!Ther
e!",shesaysand
Muzi
immediat
elyscr
eams" Yay!"asi
fLiv
erpool
hadscoredagoal .Theyhighfiv
eandcel ebrate.
Shecouldn'tst
opl aughi
ng.Aval ovesherf
ather
andit'
sevidentthatshehasbeenwai t
ingto
meethim.Iwonderwhatel seLihlewasfeeding
thechil
d.

.
..

"Yeswena",
Manqobasaysandbrushesmy
head.He'
ssuchabul
ly.Iswall
owmyj ui
ceand
putmyglassdownashet akesaseat
.
"
Ugr
and?
"(Ar
eyouokay
?),
heasks.
"I
'
mf ine.Howareyou?"
,Iaskandhelooks
aroundtoseeifany
oneisapproachi
ng.We
weresitti
ngi
nthepati
o.
"
Bhekaman.Youpr obabl
ythi
nkyou'v
emar r
ied
i
ntoadysfunct
ionalf
amil
yofhooli
gans
wher
easthat'
snotthecase.Wejusttake
put
tingfamil
yfi
rstv
eryser
iousl
y.I
fitmeans
ki
ll
i
ngf orourbl
oodthensobeit"
,helowl
ysays.
Soheknew?
"Soyouknewt hatMbusowasyourhal
f
brot
her?"
,Isayandheturnshi
sheadoncei
n
confusi
on.Ohoh.
"Whatar
eyout
alki
ngabout
?",
heev
ent
ual
l
y
asks.
"
Iti
snotmyplace.It
hought.
.youknowwhat
?
Never
mind"
,Isayandgetup.
"
Spha!
",hey
ell
sformeandIkeepwal
ki
ng.Ifhe
i
smeanttofi
ndout,
iti
snotgoi
ngtobefr
om
me.

.
..

Afami
l
ymeet i
ngwasheldaf
terdi
nner
,wher
e
t
hechi
efannouncedt
hathehashi
redmento
l
ookforMbusoandt hattheceremonywoul dgo
onasplanned.Isatandwonder edwhy
Bab'
Ngemahasn' tsaidanythi
ngal l
theseyear
s.
Ishel
oy al
tothechiefinparti
cularorthe
chi
eft
aincy?I
fIam maki ngsense.

Wedi
spersed.Muzi
wentout
sideandIwentt
o
t
uckAva,
inbed.
"TheysaidIshoul
dcal
l youmom" ,shesai
d
beforeIcoul
dwalkout.Istandatthedoorand
closeit
.Iwalkbackt
ot hesmallbedandsitby
herside.
"
Whosai
dthat
?",
Isof
tl
yasked.
"
Grandma.Shesai
daunt
yisEni
hleandyouare
mom",shesai
dandwait
edformetospeak.
"Tr
uebut.
..
",It
ryt
ogat
hert
her
ightwor
ds.She
keepsst
il
l.
"
Notnowokaybaby
?Let
'swai
tformommyt
o
comebackf r
om thehospital"
,Isaid.I
twasa
dif
ficultconversat
ion.Idon'tmindhercalli
ng
mehermot herbutatthesamet i
me, Idi
dn'
t
thi
nki twouldber i
ghtthatshedi dittome
beforeGuguexper i
enceditfir
st.I
tdidnotfeel
ri
ghtnorf air.
"Whathappenedt oher?"
,hercuri
oussel
fdigs.
Lord.Atthatpoint
,Idi
dnotknowwhet hershe
thoughtIwast al
ki
ngaboutLihleorMabuyi.I
didnotknowhowmuchsheal r
eadyknew.
"Look,princess,getsomesleepokay ?It'
sway
pastyourbedt ime",Isayandkissherf or
ehead.
Shesmi lesandcl oseshereyes.Iswi t
chedoff
theli
ghtonmywayoutandcl osedthedoor .I
thentraveledbackdownst ai
rsandt herewasno
one.Iopenedt hedoorfrom t
heTVr oom tosee
i
tMuzi wasst i
lloutsi
deandhei ndeedwas.Ata
dist
ance.Hewast aki
ngawal katthegolf
course.Iwentt ohim.Hewassoabsent minded
thathedi dn'
tev enhearmeappr oach.Iwrapped
myhandsar oundhim andplacedmyheadon
hi
sback.Hegent lypul
ledmesoIcanbei n
fr
ontofhim.Het henpulledmei ntoahugandI
huggedhim back.West oodinthisposi
tionfor
anexhausti
ngwhi l
e.Butitwaswor t
hit
.
"
I'
venevert
hankedy
ouf
orsav
ingmef
rom
Mbuso"
,Isay.
"Bynow,youshoul
dknowthatI'
ddoany t
hing
foryou"
,hesaysandki
ssesmyf or
ehead.Igo
backint
ohisbodyandhughim agai
n.
"
I'
vet
houghtabouti
t"
,Isay
.
"
It
?",
heasks.
"
Movi
ngi
ntomyhouse"
,Isayandhekeptsi
l
ent
f
oraf
ewseconds.
"
And?
"
"I
'
llf
etcht
her
estofmyst uf
ffr
om home"
,Il
et
hi
m knowandhesqueezesme.
"
Iam notabandoni
ngy
ou.We'
l
lst
il
lspendt
ime
togetherbutwecan'tbei
nthesamespaceal
l
thetime.Webot hneedtogetourheads
strai
ghtbecauseIwantthi
stowork"
"
Ial
sodo"
,Isayandhedoesn'
trespond.

EDI
TED.
I
nser
t84.

Wet ookasi lentbutpeacef ulwal kont hegol f

cour sebackt othehouse.Het henpi ckedme
upwi thoutwar ni
ngandIscr eamedandl aughed
att hesamet ime.Hegav emeaqui ckhickeyon
thet opofmyshoul der .Het henputmedown
andwecont inuedwalki ng.Whenwegoti nthe
house, Iaskedhimt ogowai tformeupst ai
rsin
hisr oom.Hewassur pr i
sedbuthepat ientlyrun
upatt hestairs.Myey est ookal ook-seeatt he
clockpl acedhi ghupthewal landi twas23h22.
Ev eryonewasmostpr obabl yfastasleepby
t
hen.Itookoutacoldbot
tl
eofcr anber
ryj
uice
f
rom t
hef r
idgeandatuboficecream.Igr
abbed
t
wowi neglassesandwentupstair
s.

Hehadn' tclosedthedoorcompl
etelysoIjust
pushedopenwi thmyelbowandwal kedinwit
h
thetray.Ifoundhimlayi
ngonhisbackont he
fl
oor,onhi sphone.Hegotupandsmi l
edatmy
eff
orts.Hegotupt ot
akethetr
ayfrom meand
putitont hefloor
.
"If
orgotthespoons.Gi
vemeami nut
e",
Isai
d
andturnedbacktogogetthem.
"I
'l
lgetthem" ,hesai dandwentout .Ithen
connnect edmyphonet ohisbluetooth
speakersandt hef i
rstsongIplayedwasbyJ. T
Tay l
orandRegi naBelleti
tl
ed'AllIwanti s
forever
'.Iclosedt hedoorsot hesoundwoul dn'
t
reachot herroomsev enthoughitwasn' tthat
l
oud.HecameandIi mmediatelypulledhim
i
ntoadance.Helaughedaswedancedand
bot
hsangalong.

Weeventual
l
ygotti
redandsatonthecarpet
.I
wassi
tt
ingbutt
fl
atwit
hhimraisi
nghisknees.
"
Juicei
nwinegl
asses?
",hemockedmeandI
l
aughed.
"Donotjudgeokay
.Maybethewinecrav
ingwi
ll
goawaybecauseIcan'
thaveitnow"
,Isayand
cont
inuegivi
ngamuffl
edlaugh.
"Okaythen.Here.
..
",helaughsandhandsi tt
o
meaf terpour
ingiti
ntotheglass.Thenextsong
Iplay
edwas' Spendmyl i
fewit
hy ou'byEr
ic
Benétf t
.Tamiaaswei ndulgedont hebl
ueberr
y
cheesecakeicecream.
"WhenIf i
rstmetyouIthoughtyoudi
dn'tdr
ink
atall
",hesaysandItel
lhimthatalotofpeopl
e
thi
nkso.Iendedupaski ngaboutwhenhe
star
teddrinki
ng.
"
Yoh!
",hesai
dandal
mostchokedonhi
s
i
cecr
eam.
"
It
hi ng'
bone.
..
"(
Letmesee)
,hesai
dandst
art
ed
t
hinking.
"It
hinkIwas12or13.Somewheret
here"
,he
saysandIwastheonetoact
uall
ychoke.
"
What
?",
Iaskedandhel
aughed.
"
Yeah.Thatstandi
ntheli
vi
ngroom?Wi
thma'
s
f
lower
s?",hesaysandInod.
"Thatwasmyf ather'
swhiskeyandbrandy
standbackintheday "
,hesmirksandtakes
anotherspoonfuli
ntohismouth.
"Letmeguess.Youhel
pedy
our
sel
ftoi
t?"
,Iask
andhelaughs.
"Manqobaiscompl etel
ytoblameforthatpar
t
ofmylifeinall
honest y
.Onedaywhenubaba
wasattendinghiscouncil
meet i
ngsanditwas
onl
ymeandhi mi nthehouse,hepouredeach
ofusaglassandrefi
ll
edthebot tl
ewithrooibos
tea"
,heexpl
ainedandmyl aughterinf
luenced
himtolaughaswell,
hecouldn'tfi
nishthestory
.
"
Didhef
indout
?",
Iinqui
re.
"Yeahhedi d.Ourpunishmentwas
manuf actur
ingbrickswit
hthement hatwer
e
buil
dingthatstoragehouseattheback.And
that'
swher emyl oveforconst
ructi
onwas
conceived",hesaysandIgoall "
Awww" .
"
Hayisuka"
,hesay
sandl
aughs.Hehat
esi
t
whenIbabyhim.
ThenextsongIpl ayedaft
erthelasthadbeen
repeat i
ngforanumberoft imeswas' Ifound
l
ov e'byBeBeandCeCeWi nans.Wemanaged
tofinishthetubandi twaswaypastmi dnight.
Het ookmyf eetandgavemeamassageaswe
arguedaboutwhenNel sonMandel areall
ydied.
"
Hedi
edi
n2013babyman"
"
Ngi
yal
ami
na.Whatdi
edi
n2013wasacl
one,
nott
her
eal
Rol
i
hlahl
a",
hear
guesandIl
augh.
"Imeanthi
nkaboutit,
whywasn' tWi
nni
e
all
owedtovisi
thiminjai
l
?Thenwhenhecame
outhegotmarriedt
oawomanwhowashi red
bytheapar
theidgover
nmentANDhenol onger
knewhowt ospeakXhosa.Hayingekebaby",he
conti
nuest
oar gueandIlaugh.
"You'
remaki
ngval
idpoi
ntsbutcl
oni
nganent
ir
e
humanbeingbaby
?"
"Ehena!Phelacl
oninghumansisnotimpossi
ble,
i
tisjustil
l
egalbecauseitwoul
dcausechaos.
Unli
kecloningyourDoll
ythesheepsandwhat
not",
hesay sandIshakemyhead.
"Ist
il
lmai
ntai
nthatt
her
eal
Nel
sondi
edi
n
2013"
"
You'l
ldi
eyoungwena",hesay
sandIexplodei
n
l
aughter
.Wedidn'
ttakenot
eofti
meti
ll04h55.
"Let
'sgetsomesl
eepbef
orebr
eakf
astbaby
",I
sayandgetup.
"Orwecanj
ustsl
eepi
n",
hegi
vesmeanaught
y
smil
eandget
sup.
"Wedon'twanttobegi
vingpeoplei
deas"
,Isay
andhelaughs.Hecomest okissmeonmyl i
ps,
mynoseandl ast
lymyforehead.
"Ineededt
his.Thankyoust
handwasami"
,he
saysandmyhear tgusheswithbl
ood.Wegeti
n
bedandhespoonsmet osleep.

Wesl eptforaboutanhourandthenhadto
wakeupf orbreakfast
.Bothoureyeswere
heav
ybutwehadt ogetup.Wegotcleanedup
andinevit
ablymadeoutint heshower
.

.
..

"Daddy,
let
'sgopl
aysoccerout
side"
,Av
asay
s
anddragshimtowar
dsthedoor.
"SoccerAva?"
,Muziasked,puzzl
ed.Heclear
ly
wasn'texpect
ingt
hat.Speakingofwhich,
Ihave
neverseenAvaplaywithdoll
seversinceshe
gothere.
"Yes.Soccerdaddy.Wecanplayr
ugbyifyou
wish",shesaysandManqobaexplodesin
l
augher .I
magineat i
nyf
igur
eli
kehersel
fgoi
ng
headtoheadwi thMuzi.
Hel aughsaswell
andsayssocceri
sfinebut
theyfir
sthadtogobuyasoccerbal
l.Evel
yn
comesdownt hestai
rsi
nanav ysui
tandred
sti
lett
os.
"By
ekids"
,shesaysandwalksout.Shewas
obvi
osul
ylatetowhat
evershehadtoatt
end
wit
hthechief,
whowaswai t
ingf
orheroutsi
de.
Iwasthenleftwi
thManqobaintheTVroom.I
tr
iedtoavoidhi
m byleav
ingbuthequi
ckl
ysaid
"Muzitol
dme.There'
snoneedf ory
outobe
play
inghideandseekanymore"
,hesaysand
swit
chesthechannel
.Ij
am i
nmyst
epsbef
oreI
coul
dturnbacktofacehi
m.
"Andhowdoyouf
eel
?",
Iask.Heexhal
esand
putst
heremot
edown.
"Angazi
tobehonest
.If
eell
ikeever
ythi
ngis
star
ti
ngtomakesense"
,hesaysandthere'
s
sil
ence.
"Ist
il
lhavealotofquesti
onsthough"
,hesays,
andthere'
ssil
enceagain.Icoul
dhearthebi
rds
chir
pingoutsi
de.
"Whatwasy
ourr
elat
ionshi
pli
ke?
",Imanaget
o
ask.
"Hewaspr et
enti
ousmot her
f***
*butIcouldsee
ri
ghtt hroughhim.That'swhywedi dn'
tget
along.Muzi t
houghtotherwi
sebutI'v
ealways
feltthattherewasjustsomethingoffabouthi
m.
Iwonderi fubabaknowsaboutt hi
s.All
ofthi
sis
f****upt obehonest",heexplai
ns.
"
Hewasst
il
lyourbr
othert
hough"
,Icar
eful
l
y
say
.
"
Hal
f"
,hest
ates.
"
Huh?
"
"
Hal
fbr
other
",heemphasi
zes.

.
..

*
**Af
ewday
slat
er*
**

ItwasaTuesdayaf ternoonwhenMabuy i
was
broughtbackhomei nawheel chai
r .Every
one
wasj ustsohappytohav eherali
ve.AwomanI
i
mmedi atel
yguessedt obehermot herwheeled
herinwi t
hMuzi'shelp.Shewasbr oughttothe
l
oungeandIhel pedt hem pl
aceheront he
couch.
"
Hai
boy
azi
Icanst
il
lwal
kandsi
tbymy
sel
f"
,
shesof
tl
ylaughs.
"Wear enott akinganychances.Youshoul dn'
t
exhausty ourself"
,herdivaofamot hersay s.
Mabuy iwaswear ingblackv elvett r
ackpant s
andjustwhi tesocks.Wi t
hhernat ural hairti
ed
up.Iimmedi atelynoticedt hatshehadt hesame
necklaceasmi ne.Itwasn'texact l
yt hesame
butthedesi gngav eawayt hef actthati twas
madef r
om thesamest oreandr ange.An
adorablehellocamef rom behi ndusandweal l
l
ookedback.Shewaswear i
ngnav yblueshor ts,
awhi tet-
shirtandsneaker s.Mabuy i
i
mmedi atel
yputherhandov erhermout hasher
eyesf i
ll
edupwi thtears.Shecoul dn'tbelieve
thatAv awasst andingr i
ghti nfrontofher .
"Umntwanakagogomaani i
i"(Roughlyput
:So
thi
sisgogo'
sbaby?),Mabuyi'
smot hersai
das
shepickedAvaup.Mabuyiimmedi at
ely
promptedhermothertohandAv atoher.
"
Becar
eful
.Yourwoundi
sst
il
lfr
eshand.
..
"
"Mlet
hema! "(
Bringherma! ),hertear
yand
emotionalsel
fgr ewimpatient.Muzi hi
dhis
bei
ngemot i
onalv er
ywellbutev enthroughthe
deepestabditor
yofhi ssoul,Icouldstil
lseeit
.

.
..

Avaeventual
lyfell
asleepi
nhermother'
shands
andthat'
swhent heylookthemostal
ike.When
hereyesareclosed.Evel
ynandMabuy i
'
smom
tookherupst
airs.
"Thedoct orsai
dy oushouldencourageblood
fl
owony ourlegsbytakingsmal l
walks.Areyou
tootir
edorshal lwe?"
,Muzi askedandGugu
smiled,shakingherhead.
"Letmegof et
chyoursl
i
ppersthen",hesaid
andgotupbecausehewassquat ti
ngi nf
rontof
her.Iwentt
ositbesi
deherandshej ustl
ooked
atmeandsmi led.
"I
'm soglady ou'r
eal i
ve.Thelastthi
ngI
rememberi st hatcrooktakingyouaway "
,she
saysandsqueezesmyhand.Isqueezeher s
back.Ihadnowor dsbecauseIwast ryi
ngmy
besttolockthet raumaaway .Idi
dnotwantto
thi
nkabouti tnorent ert
ainanythi
ngthathasto
dowi t
hit.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t85.

Muzi camebackwithMabuyi
'
sslipper
s.He
caref
ullyhel
pedherputt
hem onandalsot
o
standup.
"I
'l
lbebackokay ?
",hesaidandInodded.They
slowlywalkedoutwi t
ht hei
rhandscrossedat
thei
relbowsunt ilt
heydisappear
edoutt he
house.Isatt her
east heimageofthem walki
ng
outreverberatedinmyhead.
"Bengisacelaukushint
shaamashidi
ma' am?"(
CanIpl easechangeyoursheets?)
,a
voicecomi ngf r
om theentr
ancearchcutin
betweenmyt houghts.I
ttookmeasecondt o
digestwhatt heysaidandnodinagreement.
Theyt henwal kedaway.
Hav ey ourev erdr essedupi nsomebodyel se's
clothes?Nomat terhowgoody oul ook, there
i
sn' tami nutewher ethey 'l
lcomf or tabl
yf eellike
theybel ongt oy ou.Somehow, Ifel tli
keIwas
l
ivinginsideabor r owedbody .Ihadnev erfeltso
outofpl ace.I '
m nott hesameper sonIwasa
fewmont hsago.Idon' tev enremembert helast
ti
meIcheckedmyemai ls.Iprobabl yhav ea
heapoft hem gat her ingdusti nmyi nbox.The
thoughtofhav ingmet ast asi
zedi ntot hegi rlI
onceswor eIwoul dnev erbecomer evisit
edme.
Myhusbandcanaf fordt obuymet hiswhol e
wor ldandIt hinkt hat '
swhatmademesl i
pand
fallint
oadanger ouscomf or
tzone.Aseachday
passes,mydreamsf ossi
l
izeevenfurt
her
.I
conti
nuedtositandponderaboutthe
becomingsofmyl i
feunti
lEvelynandMabuyi
'
s
mothercamebackdownst ai
rs.
"
Ireal
lyhopeshe'l
lbeabl
etoadj
ust.Usemncan
yenasohopeful
lyitwon'
tbet
hathard"
,
Mabuyi'
smothersays.
Evel
ynnodsinworr
y.Thei
rsenseofst
ylei
s
al
mostthesame.Inoti
ced.
"Let
'shopeso.UnjaniuKuhl
e?"(
Howi s
Melokuhle?)
,Evel
ynasks.Mabuyi'
smot her
beamsbef oreshecanrespond.Theybothtake
aseatont hecouchacrosstheoneIwas
seatedon.
"URightyenashem consi
der
ing.
..
",she
proceededtospeakandIaskedtobeexcused.

.
..
Itr
eadedmywayupst airs.Ifoundt hehelp
makingherwayoutwi t
hawashi ngbasketf ul
l
ofwhiteli
nen.It hankedherandshesmi led
beforeshecoul dwal kaway .Iwalkedi nsoIcan
chargemyphone.Af terinserti
ngitont he
chargerIwalkedov ert ot hewindowt ogowash
myey eswiththebeaut yoft heout doors.Idon' t
knowmuchbutIknewt herewassomet hing
dampeningmyspi r
it
swi ththatplace.May be
Muzi wasri
ght .Wedoneedsomet i
meapar t.
Thephoner angandIqui ckly,r
efl
exi v
elytur ned
myheadi nitsdirectionbef oreIcoul dwal k
towardsthepedest al.
"
Hel
lo?
",Icur
iousl
yansweredbutt
hecal
l
er
r
epl
i
edwi t
hpuresil
ence.
"He-l
l
o?",Irei
ter
atedtoascer
tai
nthatthe
probl
em didnotliewit
hthenetworkcover
age,
whichwassomet hi
ngIalr
eadyknewbecause
thebackgroundwasn'tdeadquiet
.Therewer
e
act
uall
ypeopl
etal
ki
ngandsoundi
ngl
i
ket
hey
werepassi
ngby.
"Eymakequickwealsowantcal
l!
",agr
ating
voicemanagedtogett
openetr
atethel
ineandI
pickedupasoundofheav
ypatti
ng.Twice.
"Okayokay.Noneedt
opushmear ound"
,the
call
errespondedt
owhoev
erwastherewith
them andtookamomentbef
oreshecould
speak.
"HiBet
soit
'sLi
hlepl
easedon'
thangup",she
sai
dandmyhear ti
mmediatel
yhitagai
nstmy
ri
bcage.
"Whatdoyouwant
?Wher
edi
dyougetmy
number?"
"LookIdon'thav
emucht ime.Pl
easecomesee
me.Iam atWest vil
l
epri
son.Weneedt ot
alk.
I
'm beggingyou"
,sheramblesbefor
et hecall
getscut.Hervoi
cesoundedhigh-pi
tched
towardstheendlikeshewastry
ingtogetaf ew
sentencesi
nbeforehavi
ngt
hephonetaken
awayf r
om her
.Ilookatmyscr
eenandmyey es
fal
ltomybedasIwonderaboutwhatjust
happened.

.
..

*
**Thenextday
***

Muzi andIar ewer emeantt ogoshoppi ng

togetherbutheseemedpr eoccupiedwithGugu
Idoubt edheev enr emember ed.Imademyway
upstairsafterhavingatinyporti
onofbr eakf
ast
becausemyappet it
ewast hesizeofasi ngl
e
ri
cegr ain.Ihadalreadytakenabat hbefore
breakfastsoal lIhadtodowaschangemy
outfi
tintoapr opersundr essandsl i
ppers.
Whoev erwasgoi ngtojudgewoul d'v
e
exhaust edtheirownener gyandt i
me.Ididnot
giveat oss.Iwentbackdownst air
sandf ound
Thandoandhermot herstandingaroundt he
counterinkitchen.Ev elynwat chedmemakemy
waydownt il
lthev erylaststep.Theybothhad
mor oseandsul lenlooksont heirf
aces.The
testresult
sar eprobabl yback.
"Mil
isuthando.Ngit
hengitsheleukut
hi
sokwenzanj animanje?"(
Isaidtel
lmewhatthe
nextstepis),Evel
ynirr
it
ablyasksbefor
e
droppingboththesidesofheront hewhit
e
counter.
"Notsol
oudnawema"
,Thandot
ri
est
ohush
herdown.
"Youl
ookpr
ett
y",
shethensay
stomebef
ore
shecoul
dpul
lachai
rtosit
.
"UhleziemuhleuSphakamile"
(Sheisalways
pretty)
,Evel
ynsaysinanannoy edtone,t
ryi
ngto
getaThandowhoi sclear
lyavoidi
ngherto
focusonherquest i
on.Ibi
dmygoodby esand
walkout
.Ihadnoenergytobeput
ti
ngoutf
ir
es.
Thandoj
usthadtofor
giveme.

Igotdr ivent othemal landwentst r

aightt o
Joe's.Ineededacol ddri
nkandapl acet osi t
whi l
eIf ocusonmyemai l
s.Asexpect ed,the
dreadedpi l
ewaswai ti
ngandr eadyforme.
Amongstal l
,therewasonet hatspeci fi
call
y
brokemyhear t
.Thi swomanwentona
rampageabouthowunpr ofessionalIam and
thatIshoul dl eav ethebusinessofev ent
planningt ot hoset hathav ethepassi onf orit
.
Myf inger swer ei t
chingtor eplybutIendedup
deletingev erything.Shewaswel lwit
hi nher
ri
ght .Imi ssedoutonapl ethoraofev ents.I
repli
edwi thapol ogiestoall andnoteddownt he
threeonesatt het opinmyphone.Twooft hem
wer esentaweekagoandonel andedi nthe
i
nboxl astnight .Ifini
shedof fmysodaand
fl
aggedf orthebi l
l.Joewasnowher ei nsight.I
thenwentoutandcol lectedasomei temsi na
fewclothingshops.Imi ghtaswel lspendt he
moneymyhusbandr andoml ysendsi ntomy
accountbecauseIbar el
yt ouchit.AsIwas
separati
ngt hehangers, t
heoddphonecal lI
recei
vedleti t
selfi
ntomymi ndandqueuedf or
processi
ng.Ideci dedtoignor eandcont inue
withmyr etailt
herapy.Itthenjustsatt here,at
thebackofmymi ndnot i
ceablycr ossingits
l
egsandcasual l
ywav ingf oratt
ent i
on.

.
..

Ir
anmyf i
ngersont het
ableIwasseat edon
whil
ewait
ingforhertoarri
veandl ookedturned
myhandtoseef oranydustparti
cles.Ihaveno
i
deawhyIdidthatbutIwasanxi ous.Ihadno
i
deawhyIwast hereinthefir
stplace.The
dr
iver
sgeneral
lymindtheirownbusi ness,
whichi smor ethanIcansayf ortheguardsat
thegat e.Igotintocontestwi thcuri
osit
yandas
alway s,itwon.Shewasbr oughtbyaf emal e
war derinkhakhi uni
for
m wi t
hherhandscuf fed
toherf ront.Sheacrossmeandt heglasst hat
separ ateduswasmyonl yinsuranceagainstan
unst abl
ewoman.Shedi dnotl ookappetizing.
Shel ookedl i
keshewasi nterr
uptedoutofa
boxingmat ch.Aboxingmat chshewascl early
l
osingj udgingfrom howherey ewascov eredin
black.
"Hi"
,shel
etsoutatr
emul ousgreet
ing.Ij
ust
star
e.Mybrai
nwasbl ank.Idi
dnothav eany
i
deahowIshoul dgr
eetherback.
"You'r
epr obablywonderingwhyIcall
edyou
here",shesay sandimmedi at
elyl
etsouta
nervoussmi l
e,whichshort
lyt
ransi
ti
onsint
oa
verybrieflaugh.Iwasabouttohavea
conver sat
ionwithcrazyinhumanform.
"
Youl
ook.
..whathappenedt
oyou?
",Icoul
dn'
t
helpbutask.Ifshegoesonl i
ket hi
sshewi l
lnot
exitthi
sprisonasabr eathi
ngor ganism.She
placedherhandonherey e,carefull
ybutsti
ll
fl
inchedany way.Ithenreal
izedIwas
unintent
ionall
yfrowningthenstraightenedmy
face.
"Don'
twor ryaboutt
his.Mygirl
fri
endpr ot
ects
menow" ,shesaysandfi
dgetsar oundonher
chair
,try
ingtofindacomf or
tablesitt
ing
posit
ion.Shelookednothi
ngliket hewomanI
usedtoseebef oreshegotarrested.Shelooked
verysaneandkeptt oget
herbefor epri
son.
"
Youhav
eagi
rl
fr
iend?
",Ii
nqui
red.
"Ihadnochoice.List
en,Ineedyoutospeakt
o
Muzi andMabuy i
onmybehal f.You'
ret
heonly
onethey'l
ll
ist
ento",shesaysandIimmediat
ely
swall
ows.
"I
sthatwayy oucal
ledmehere?"
,Iaskandshe
dropsherhead.Shedef
ini
tel
yisnotusedto
beggi
ng.
"YouandMbuso..
."
,Ial
mostshoutandI
i
mmedi at
elypul
lmysel
ftoget
her
.Igetcl
osert
o
gether
.
"YouandMbusopl ott
edt ohavemekidnapped
andtakenoutofthecount r
yandyouexp..
."
,I
saywithmyteethclenched
"Iswear.Iknownothi
ngaboutyourki
dnappi
ngI
j
ustknowhewant edMabuyidead"
,she
confesseswithherhandsupinsur
render
"St
oplyi
ngorel
seI'
m gonnagetupf
rom her
e
andleav
e",
Ithr
eat
en.
"Iswear
.Yousayhewantedtotakeyououtof
thecountr
ywhywould'
veIcal
ledyouifIknew
youwerenother
e?"
,shegoesonandIt hinmy
eyesather.
"Please.Myparent
swantnothingt
odowi t
hme
andMuzi i
stheonl
ywhocangetmeoutofher e.
PleaseIreall
yneedtogetoutandIcan'
tgeta
hol
dofMbuso"
,herey
eswer
est
art
ingt
otear
up.
"Idon'
tev
enknowwhatIam doi
ngher
e",
Isay
andgetup.
"I
'
m pregnant
!"
,thewordsarequicktojumpout
ofhermouthasIwasaboutt oleave.It
urn
backandlookedatheraskance.Sheswall
owed.
"You'
repr
egnant
?",
Irepeatherst
atement
,
seeki
ngclar
it
y.
"
It
'sMbuso'
s",
sherev
ealswit
hhereyesoutl
i
ke
atr
aumati
zedstr
aycat.Hol
ygrav
y!

.
..

Iwasdri
venbackandallIcoul
dmulloverwas
thebombLihl
ecall
edmet opri
sontodropright
ontopofmyhead.Igotoutofthecarandthe
dri
vert
ookthefewplast
icandpaperbagsthat
bel
ongedtomeoutoft heboot.Hewal
kedin
fr
ontofmeandintothehouse.Isi
gnal
l
edthat
hecantaket
hem upstai
rs.
"
Yil
i
phi
igumbil
akhoma'
am?
"(Whi
chonei
syour
r
oom?)
,heasked.
"Justl
eav
emeony ourrightwheny ougettot
he
endofthestai
rcase",Ii
nst r
uctandhenods.I
takeabott
leofwat eroutoft hefr
idgeandgul
p
i
tdown.Icouldheart hef amil
yintheliv
ing
makingnoise,
probablypl ayi
ngaboar dgameof
somesort.Muziwal ksintothekit
chenand
i
mmedi at
elysmiles.
"Heyyou",
hesay sandki
ssesmeonthe
for
ehead.Iclosemyeyesandopent
hem when
hemov eshisfacefr
om mine.
"If
orgot
.I'
m sorry
",helowlysay sandIjustnod
withmysli
ghtlystr
etched,pursedli
ps.I'
ve
alr
eadydealtwit
hitemot i
onallybecausehe
sentanapologythroughtextbeforethi
slive
one.
"Whydidn'
tyout
ell
mey
ouwer
eleav
ing?
",he
asked.
"Youwerenowheretobef oundandbesi
des,
I
thi
nkIneededthetimealone",
Isayandhe
pressesmyshoulders.
"
Youcoul
d'
vecal
l
ed.I
'
mjustgl
ady
ougotout
f
orsomeair
"
"
Yeah.Keatsamayakamoso"(
I'
mleav
ing
t
omorrow),
Isaid.Heexhal
ed.
"
Ithoughty
ouwer eleav
ingt
hedayaf
ter
t
omor r
ow?",hesaysandrai
seshi
sbr
ow.
"
Youneedsomet
imewi
thy
ourwi
feandIneed
t
omovein"
"IhopeIdi
dn'
thurty
ourfeeli
ngsi
nanyway
",he
gentl
ysaysandIsoft
lyshakemyhead.
"Asi
ngledaywon'
tmakeadif
ference.Pl
us,
I
needtostar
twi
thmyregul
archeckups.
Ever
ythi
nghasbeensochaotic"
,Isayandwrap
myhandsaroundhim.Heplaceshishandon
myhandandwej ustst
andthereandhug,i
n
si
l
ence.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t86.

"Somebodyi sreall
yhungr y"
,hesai dbef
orehe
coulddri
veof ffrom thedriv
et hroughat
McDonald's.Idugi ntothepaperbag
i
mmedi atelyafterrecei
vingit.Thecravi
ngshad
mebyt heneck.Hehadasmi lestuckonhis
face.He'
sr eal
lyabeaut if
ulhumanbei ng.Made
mewonderwhatmybabi eswoul dcomeout
l
ookingli
ke.
Icontinuedtoeatwhil
ewel i
stenedtothe
mor ni
ngr adi
o.Helookedreal
lytir
edandthe
factthathehadtodrivebackleftafewcracks
onmyheart
.Hecoul
d'v
eeasil
ysentmeaway
wit
hadri
verbuthei
nsi
stedontaki
ngmehome
hi
msel
f.
"
Muzi
?",
Ilowl
ycal
lout
.
"Baby?",
her espondswi t
houtturni
ngtolookat
me.Keepi nghisey esont heroad.Ikeptqui
et
whilemybr ainprocessedt hequalit
yofmy
sentence.Het hent urnedtowardsmewi tha
curi
ouslookonhi sf ace.
"
Arey
ouokay
?",
heasked.
"YeahI'
mf ine.I
t'
sjust
..
.ther
e'snothi
nggoi
ng
onbetweenKgokaganoandI .Thatdaywas.
..
",I
explai
n.Somet i
meswhenhe' sdreadful
l
yqui
et,I
tendtothinkthatt
hisfor
msapar tofhi
s
thoughts.
"I
'm overthat"
,heinterr
uptsandcont i
nues
dri
ving.Ikeepsilent.Hethenturnshissof
tened
facetowar dshim andtakesmyhand.Lucki l
y,
theroadwasn' tasbusyasi tusuall
yis.
"It
rustyou.Okay ?Ichooseto.Ify ousayt her
e's
nothinggoingont henthere'
snothi nggoingon.
I
'mj ustgoingthroughthemostr ightnowbut
I
'm gonnaf ixeveryt
hingsoallourl i
vesgoback
tonor malandwecanal sogoawaysi yoshawa
umoy a"(
..
.wecangetsomef reshai r
).
Hebr
ushedmyhandandInodded.
"Iknowthisishar
df oryou.We'vebeendeal
ing
withonethingtothenextsinceweourweddi ng
nightwhereasweshoul dbeatourhappiest
.I
promise,i
t'
llbl
owov er.Okay?
",heassur
esandI
smi l
e.Hesighscontinuesdri
vi
ng.

.
..

Wef i
nal
lygettomymot her
'shouseandhe
bri
ngsthecartoahal t,
short
lyresti
ngonthe
backr
estofhisleatherseat
.Idot hesame.My
mothercal
ledduringthetri
ptoletmeknow
thatImightnotf
indherhome.Thedoorsand
windowswer ecl
osedsoIjustknewshewas
notyetback.
"Doy ouknowt haty
ouhaveabeautyspotatt
he
backofy ourneck?"
,hementi
onswhil
e
caressi
ngmyhandwi t
hbothofhi
s.
"What?No" ,Ir
eflex
ivelydi
sagr
eedand
i
mmedi atel
ytur
nedmyheadt o'see'
it
.He
crackedi nt
oafitoflaught
erandIjoi
ned.What
wasIt hinki
ng.
"Soyoursmarta**thi
nksy oucanactual
l
ysee
thebackofyourneck?",heconti
nuedtohav
ea
fi
elddaywit
hme.Il aughed,suckedmyteet
h
andlookedaway.

.
..
"
Ungibingel
elel
ekumangobaitdoesn'tlook
l
ikeshe'sgonnacomebacksoon"(
Gr eetyour
mom forme. .
.)
,hei
nfor
msaftert
akingaqui ck
glanceathi swatch.Wehadbeensi t
ti
nginthe
carf oraboutanhour.Hekissedmef ort
helast
ti
meandmadesur etol
eaveahickeyonmy
collarbone.Hey awnedbeforehecoulddri
ve
off.Iofferedt
hathecomesi nandhasanap
befor ehecouldleaveandheturnedmedown.
Hisr easonbeingthathecan'
tsleepi
nmy
mot her'
shouse.Iknewt her
ewasnoconv inci
ng
hi
m soIl eti
tgo.

Ibentpot plantint
hecor neroftheporch
l
ooki ngfort hehousekey sandIfounditthere.
I'
vebeent ryingtogetmyownkeybutmom
say syoucan' thaveakeyt osomebodyel se's
house.Idi dnotev entrytoargueanyfurther
aftershest atedherreasonwhyIshoul dn'thave
akeyt omyownhome.Iunl ockedthedoorand
steppedin.Ii mmediatelypull
edthecurtains
openandal soopenedt hewi ndowstoallowt he
naturall
ightt ocomet hrough.Thethoughtof
Mbusot r
iedtocrossmymi ndbutIimmedi atel
y
blockeditout.Mynextstepsledmet othe
l
ivingroom whereIsatandcal l
edTumi hoping
thathewoul dbef r
ee.Hereject
edmycal land
i
mmedi atel
ysentmeamessagesay inghe'son
call.

Ihadbeensi t
ti
ngont hecouchf orabout40
minuteswithabsolutelynointenti
ont ogetup
whenmom cameback.Icoul dheart he
content
sofhergr ocer ybagscareful
lycoll
idi
ng
wit
ht hetabl
etop.
"
Fil
we!
",shey
ell
edf
rom t
heki
tchen.
"Kafa!
"(
I'
mi nher
e),Iy
ell
back.Sheshort
ly
appear
swi t
hawidesmi l
eandIjustknewshe
wasabouttoprovokeme.
"Gatwe"Kafa"?Oi t
shwannalebonababareng
gebakokot
abar e"Kenna!
".KEWENA
MANG? "
(What '
sthemeaningof"I
nhere?
".
You'
renodif
fer
enttothepeopl
ewhoalways
say"I
t'
sme"whentheyknockonthedoor.WHO
AREYOU?)shesaysandpushesmyfeetofft
he
couchsoshecansit
.
"
Aowatsamaagonnagoelacouchhle
mma"
(Gositont
heothercouch)
,Icompl
ained.
"Aowi!Totaobat agont i
relamolaokant l
ung
yame, kadicouchtsame!?Gabagol oya?"
(You
honestlywanttosetr ul
esf ormeinmyown
housewi thregar
dt omyowncouches?Ar eyou
notsomehowbewi tched?),shesaysanda
smil
ef ormsonmyl ips,
whi chlat
ertransi
ti
ons
i
ntoal augh.Imissedher .Shethenpullsme
i
ntoahugandIwr apmyhandsar oundher.She
smeltofabunnychow.
"Bar
engMat sul
u?"
(Howaret
heZul
us)
,shesay
s
andIlaughsomemor e.
"
Stopcal
l
ingt
hem t
hat
",Ical
l
edhert
oor
der
.
Wespentt her emaini
ngf ewhour softhe
dayt
imet ogetherandhadbut t
eredbreadand
teaforsupper.Nonebet weent hetwoofuswas
wil
li
ngt oslaveawayont hestovenorchop
anyt
hing.Af t
erwashingt hedishes,shewentto
herroom andcamebackwi thamassofwool
andaneedl etodomyhai r
,whichwasahot
messundermywi g.Isatinbetweenherthighs.
Shewaswat chingaNi geri
anmov ieandfixi
ng
myhai ratt
hesamet ime.
"You'
velostwei ght.Areyouokay ?"
,she
unexpectedlydropst hequesti
oninf rontofme.
Idartmyey esar oundbeforeIcant ellherIam
fi
ne.Shesighedandcont inuedtopar tmyhair
withthecombshehadi nhand.Ikeptmyhead
benttothesi dewhi l
esit
ti
ngont opofacushi on
onthefloor.Iknewshewasn' tconvincedbut
sheletitgo.Itisgoingtobackt hough.

"
Mom?
"
"Hmm?",sher
espondswi
thherey
esont
he
scr
een.
"DoIhaveabeautyspotonthebackofmy
neck?
",Iaskandshelaughs.
"Whyobotsankarrkecancer
?"(
Whyar ey ou
aski
ngasthoughit'
sasignofcancer?)
,she
saysandcont
inueshandli
ngmyhair.Ifl
inch
whenshepull
stohar d.
"
Askii
es.Youdo"
,sher
epor
tsbackandIl
augh
i
nter
nall
y.

.
..

"RI
SEANDSHI
NESLEEPYHEAD!"
,Tumi
scr
eamsi
nmyhearandIpul
lmywhol
eface.
"Whatt
heact ualf
* *
*?I
t'
s7inthemorni
ng"
,I
scol
daftersquint
ingatmyphonefort
ime.
"
Don'
ttel
lmeaboutnumber
sbi
t**Ihav
en'
t
seenyouin2completedecades"
,hesaysdr
ops
hiswhol
eweightonthebed.Hisfeetl
andon
mybutt.
"Comeongetup.Let
'sgomakebr eakf
ast "
,he
promptsandpull
smysheetsoffme.Ireleasea
scream t
hroughmyt
ight
lycl
enchedteeth.
"YesIam ademon.Tel lmesomet hingIdon't
know.Nowgetup" ,hewasal r
eadyonhisfeet,
fetchingmyr obefrom thecloset
.Hetakesit
andhandsi tt
ome.Ihadnochoi cebuttodrag
mysl eepyselftothekitchenwithhi
m.Ipulled
thechai routofthetabl
eandcol l
apsedonit.
Hal fofmybr ainwasstill
asleepandhewas
alr
eadybr eakingeggs.
"Youbroughtwi
ngs?"
,IsayasIpul
ltheChi
cken
Lickenpl
asti
conthetabl
e.Iwasal
ready
chewingononebefor
ehecouldrespond.
"YesIknowyoul
ikeIknowCarl
'
sdrawerfor
underwear
s",
hesaysandswi
tchesonthestov
e.
"Andy oudi
dn'
tbrushyourteet
hmissy"
,headds
beforehecoul
dopenthet opcupboar
dtotake
outthebott
leofcooki
ngoi l
.
"
Who'sCarl?Whathappenedt
oThomas?
",I
i
nter
rogat
e.
"Let
'snotgot here.Hehasabananashaped
penis.Icannotforthel
if
eofmebegi ntodeal"
,
hesay sandIexpl odei
nlaught
er.Mom appears
from thecorr
idorandgreetsusboth.Wegreet
herback.
"Where'smyhairdr
yerwenaMor atoa?"
,he
i
mmedi at
elyshoot
sandt akesout2wings
withoutpermit
.Tumilaughsandclosesboth
hiseyeswithhispal
ms.
"
Otalegoll
a"(
You'
regonnacrysoon)
,she
t
hreat
ensandTumi l
aughsl
ouder.
"Maragaol
li
shannamogosi ot
laotopakae
mmagowena?"(
Whenyouintendtomakeme
crywher
edoyousupposeyou'l
lgetthel
atest
scoops?
)
"Heygakenasepelemogosi
"(
Idon'
tcareabout
gossi
p),shesaysandsmi
lesi
ntothecupof
watershehadinhand.
"Aoww!Kannet e!
?"(I
st hatcor
r ect
?),Tumi
prodsandIlaughatt heirepi
sode.Mom
fi
nishesoffherwaterandl eaves.Webot hdon'
t
bothertoaskwhereshei sgoi
ngl ookingal
l
dapperbecauseweknewbet t
er .

Af
terTumi wasdonemakingbr
eakf
ast,we
migrat
edtothel
ivi
ngroom wi
thatr
ayoftwo
pl
ates.Iwashavi
ngteaandcoff
eeforhi
m.
"
Mamawaj ol
a",hestat
edafterheplacedthe
t
rayonthecoffeetabl
eandcr ossedhisfi
nger
s
t
oshowt hathemeantwhat everhejustsai
d.I
l
ookedatathim andburstoutaloudlaugh.
"Hel
ang.Youdon'
tbel
i
eveme?
",hesay
sand
swit
chesontheTV.
"And, she'
snotonlydat ingbutthemani s
l
oaded.Mar kmywor ds",hesai
dandI
continuedlaughi
ngasIpat ient
lyblewai ront
o
myt easoi tcanbecool enought odrink.Muzi
call
edandIanswer ed.Wespokef orabout15
minut eswithTumi roll
inghiseyesev erysecond
,want ingmet owrapupt hecallandpay
att
ent iont
ohim.

"
Final
l
y!"
,hesai
dinannoyancebef
orehecoul
d
t
akeahugebiteof
fhistoast
.Il
aughed.
"Butonaseri
ousnot ethough,ar
eyougood?
Youdidn'
tsoundli
key oursel
fovert
hepastf
ew
daysonthephone",hesaidandIsighed.
"Ahfri
end.WhatcanIsay?We'
l
lbealri
ght
",I
sayandconti
nuechewingandscr
oll
i
ngmy
Inst
agram.
"
Iknewget
ti
ngmar r
iedtoari
chsnackl
ikehi
m
wasabadi
dea.Especial
l
yinpol
ygamy"
,he
say
sandsl
urpshi
scof
fee.
"
Don'
tstar
t.I
t'
snotl
i
keIhadachoi
ce"
,Idef
end
mycase.
"
Ifyoudi
d,wouldyoumakethesamedecisi
on
t
wice?"
,hesaysandwait
sformetorespond
wit
hhiscuphangi
nginair
.
"Idon'tknow.Ilovehim.Butsharinghim kinda
getstough" ,
Isaidandhav esomemor eofmy
tea,withonehandont hehandandt heother
huggingt hesideofthecup.Hewasf orci
ngme
tothinkaboutst uf
fmybr aindoesli
ke
entertai
ning.

.
..

WelaterdrovetoProt
eahotelt
ogofetchmy
cart
hatIleftdonkeyy
earsagobefor
eIabrupt
ly
l
eftf
ortheZul umountai
ns.Thepl
anwasthat
hewasgoingt
odropmeoffanddri
vetowork.
Hedidt
hatandwehuggedbef
oreIcangetout
oft
hecar.
"Halavi
ew"(
Iloveyou),
hesay sdramat
ical
l
y
beforeIcanclosethepassengerdoor
.
"Halavi
ewt
oo"Isayandwebothl
augh.He
dri
vesawayandImakemywayi n.Ontheway
,I
wasr ummagi
ngt hr
oughmybagtofi
ndmycar
keys.
"Iam sosor
ry"
,hesaysaf
terbumpi
ngint
ome.
Weshar ea2secondeyel
ockbefor
ehecango
downandpickmybagupandpl acethef
all
en
content
sbackinsi
de.
"Ishoul
dlookwher
eI'
m goi
ng.I'
m sorr
yfort
his"
,
Isaywhenhegetsupandhandst hebagtome.
Only,hekeptt
hebookt
hatfel
loutinhi
shand.
"Howli
feimit
ateschess?I
nter
est
ing.
..
",hesay
s
andcurveshi
slipt
omeethischinashe
marvel
satthebook.
"
Youpl
ay?
",heasksbef
orehecoul
dhandt
ome.
"What
?Chess?Ohno.Thi swasagi ftandI '
ve
j
ustkepti
nhereeversince,hopi
ngtor eadit
somehow,somewhere",Isayawkwar dlyandhe
l
aughs.Hi
seyesli
ghtupwhenhedoes.Hi s
smil
ecomplementshisfair
lydarkskin.
"It'
sbyGar ryKasparov.Youshoul dr eadi
t.
Wi semant hatone",
hesof tspokenlysay sand
placeshishandsinhi spockets.Ilaugh.He
l
aughst ooandsay s" Thatreact
iont ell
sme
you'reneverreadi
ngt hatbook",hesay sanda
sharplaughtershootsoutmyl i
ps.
"
Iwi
l
lman"
"There'
snothi
ngwi t
hadmi t
ti
ngthatit
'snotyour
kindascene.CanIhav eitandbuyy ouonethat
youwi l
lACTUALLYr ead?",hetr
iestocutadeal.
Ican'thel
pthelaughterthatmyv ocalcor
ds
i
nsistonproducingatlength.
"
Youpl
ay?
",Iask.
"
YeahIdo.Youshoul
dtoo"
,hesay
sandInod.
"Vi
lakazi
.Mphat
hiVil
akazi
",heext
endshi
shand
aft
erheannounces.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t87.

Ijustgavear andom st
rangertwopersonal
thingsinlessthan10mi nut
es.Mynumberand
agi f
tthatwasmeantf orme.Hepr omisedto
getmeanot heronebutnowt hatIt
hinkabouti
t,
Ishould'v
ej ustl
ethi
m keepitandleftati
tthat
.

Atrail
oftheset
houghtsi
nvadedmymindasI
dr
ov ebackhome.Igotatt
hehouseandmy
mom wasn'thome.
"
Wherei
sthi
swoman?",
Imumblemywayt o
t
hebedr
oom t
ogochange.It
henwentt
othe
ki
tchentogetst ar
tedwi
thdinner.Dumpli
ngs
andstew.That'swhatwe'
rehav i
ngfordinner
.I
kepthopingthatshewouldwalkinandkeepme
companyasIcookedbutwasn' tandherphone
wasof f
.Itwasjustme,t
hepot sandv l
ogson
Youtube.

Muzicall
edandwespokef orawhi
l
eti
llhe"had
togo".WhenIl
if
tedmyphonef r
om myear,
I
noti
cedatextf
rom Thando.

"
Sis.Idon'
tthi
nkIcandot
his"
,thet
extr
ead.
"Dowhat?Theabor ti
on?"
,Ir
epl
ied.Justt
ypi
ng
theword'
abortion'mademystomacht ur
nabit
.
Shedidnotreply.It
ri
edcall
i
ngherbutshe
wasn'
tanswering.
"
Whyisevery
oneinsi
sti
ngondriv
ingmei nsane
t
oday?"
,Iwaspi
ssedbecauseIcouldn'
tcal
l
Muzi
tocheckuponher.Ical
ledEvelyni
nstead
andshesaidshewil
lhandl
eit,
andalso
remindedmetokeepittomyself
.Thi
sfami
ly
eatsandli
vesonsecr
ets.I
t'
ssimplyt
hei
rway
ofli
fe.

.
..

"Halomydarly!"
,thatwasmyj ol
l
ygoodmom
walkingasIdishedup, sl
owlydancingar
ound
withawidesmi leonherf aceandherhand
hangingherredsilkscarfintheair
.
"Wherehaveyoubeen?Ke9.I
t'
slat
e!"
,Iwent
offather
.Iwasbeginni
ngt
oworryabouther
safet
y.
"He-eh.Aotl
onkgadimut
saokarrke
ngwana" (
Don'ty
ell
atmel i
keI'
m achil
d),
a
fi
ercefrownpushedthesmileoffherf
ace.We
bothbreathedouttocal
m down.
"
Otswakae?
"(Wher
ehav
eyoubeen?
),Ii
nqui
red.
"Ketswadiplekeng.Gojewaeng?"(
Places.
What '
sfordinner?)
,shesai
dasshepi ckedup
somemeatf rom oneofthepl
atesandchewed.
Ijustshookmyheadandwentt ograbaknifei
n
ordertosli
cet hedumpli
ng.

"
Letmegof reshenup.I
'
llj
oinyoui
nabi t
",she
i
nformedandIkeptmyey esonthefoodIwas
worki
ngwith.
"Heemosadi .ObemoodykoKZN.Noti nmy
house.Awapr eggisakenna"(
Gobemoodyat
KZN. .
.I'
m nottheonewhomadey oupregnant
),
shesaidandl eftt
hekit
chen.Ali
ghtlaugh
blessedmyf ace.

.
..
"Let'
sgoonaholi
day.All
expensespai
d."
,she
saysandint
err
uptst
hehar momyofthesil
ence
thatwasi
ntheroom.Iraisedmyfacet
oher .
"
Holi
daytowhere?"
,Iasked,wonder
ingabout
t
hissuddeni
deaforaretreat
.
"Idon'
tknow.Somewher
e..
.ref
reshi
ngmaan"
,
shethenrespondswi
thapassi
on.
"
CapeTown?
",Isuggest
.
"
TheBahamas"
,shesay
sandIal
mostchokeon
myst
ew.
"
Yousaidal
lexpensespaid?
",Ir
eit
erat
ewit
h
t
hebackofmyi ndexfi
ngeragai
nstmynostri
ls
wi
thafolki
nmyhand.Shecont i
nuedchewing.
"Mybrai
nandmoutharei npart
ner
shi
p.They
don'
tworki
ndependent
ly.Ihear
dwhatIsai
d",
shestat
esandIshootoutanimmediat
elaugh.
"
Arey
oucomi
ngornot
?",
sheadds
"
Mamaot
lopat
alakaeng?
"(Howar
eyougoi
ng
toaff
ordsuchatr
ip?
),Ii
nquir
e.I
ntotalshock.I
evenquest
ionedt
hesobri
etyofherstat
eof
mind.
"Tl
ogelagompotsadipot
soaket hakago"
(St
op
quest
ioningmeIam notyourpeer),
shesays
andpicksuptheremotet
oswi t
chont heTV.I
j
uststared.
"
Okaygewecan.
..
"
"Heehdidi
mala.Theoffernolongerst
ands.
Onalemolomo"(
Nokeepqui et.
..Youhavetoo
bigofamouth),shei
nterr
uptedme
midsent
ence.
"
Bat
hong.
..
",Iwasspeechl
ess.

Aft
erdinner,Iwenttomyroom and
i
mmedi atel
yattendedtomyphonet hatIhad
l
eftonthebed.Ihadt womissedcallsfr
om
Muziandonef rom anunknownnumber .Itr
ied
cal
ledhim backbuthedidn'
tpickup.Twice.I
t
hencal
l
edt
heunknownnumber
.
"
Sawubona",adeep,
huskyv
oicegr
eet
edf
rom
t
heotherendofthel
ine.
"He-
ll
o.I'
m sor
rybutImissedacal
lfr
om t
his
number.Who'sthi
s?"
,Iasked.
"
It
'sVi
l
akazi
,miss"
,her
epor
tedandI
i
mmediat
elyr
emembered.
"
Ohhi
.Andi
t'
sMi
ssus"
,Icor
rect
ed.
"Hawu.HowdidImi ssyourr
ingt
hen?
",he
quest
ionsandiexhale.
"
BecauseIwasn'
twear
ingi
t"
,If
lat
lyst
ate.
"
O-kay
.It
akei
tyourhusbandi
snothome"
"
Whywoul
dyouassumet
hat
?"
"Because,wewoul
dn'
tbehavi
ngthi
s
conversat
ioni
fhewas"
,hesaysandIexhal
e,
again.
"
HowcanIhel
pyou,
Mphat
hi?
",Isai
dandhe
huf
fsoutal
owl
augh.
"
Idi
dn'
tgetwhatki
ndofbooksy
oul
i
ket
o
r
ead?"
"
It
'sokay
.Youdon'
thav
etogetmeany
thi
ng.
"
"Thatwasnotouri
nit
ial
agr
eementt
hough"
,he
calmlysay
s.
"Wel
lI'
m changi
ngitnow",
Isayandpul
lthe
comfor
terformetogetinbed.
"Foranagreementt
ochange,al
lpar
ti
es
i
nv ol
vedhavetobeINVOLVEDinchangi
ngt
he
agreement",
hesaysandIl
augh.
"
Look,Iam t
ir
edandIneedt
ogetsomesl
eep.
Goodni
ght"
"
Getsomesl
eep?
",i
nqui
sit
ivel
yheasks.
"
Yeah"
"
Wit
houtt
hehusband?
"
"
Yohmot
howaModi
mo.By
e",
Isayandcutt
he
cal
landsl
i
pint
othought
sthatushermet
o
sl
eep.

.
..

Acal
lfr
om Muzi
wokemeupf
rom deepsl
eep.
"
Heybaby
",hegr
eet
ed.
"
Heyl
ove"
"
Wereyousti
ll
sleepi
ng?Hai
boit'
s9inthe
mor
ningvukabo!"
,hemockedandlaughed.
"AwungiyekaMbulazi
"(Leavemealone),
Isaid,
sti
llhal
fasleep.Heconti
nuedlaughi
ng.Icould
l
istentothismanlaughalldayandneverget
ti
redofit.
"Ngi
y adl
ala.Youcansl eepfort hewholedayi
f
youwant "
, hesays,soundinglikehe'sget
ti
ng
sett
ledandseat ed.Thesoundsi nthe
backgroundmadei tobviousthathewas
out
side.
"You'
resti
l
lenj
oyi
nghome?I'vebookedyouan
appoi
ntmentwit
hagy naei
nJoburgfornext
week",hesai
dandIgotup,y
awning.Mybody
fel
theavy.
"
Youdi
d?"
,Il
azi
l
yasked.
"
Areyouevenl
i
steni
ngt
ome?
",heasked,
l
aughi
ng.
"
Yazin?Qhubekaulal
e.Sizokhuluma
yezwa?"
(Youknowwhat ?Cont i
nuesleepi
ng.
We'l
ltal
kokay?)
,hesaid,sti
lll
aughingathow
muchIwasbat t
li
ngwithsleep.Ilaughedas
well
.
"Ngi
yabongast
handwasami",
Isai
dandsett
led
myheadbackonmypi ll
ow.Ihadnoener
gy,
evenforamereconv
ersati
on.

WhenIf
inal
l
ygotup,
itwasmi
ddayandhot
.Ifi
t
wasn'tforsheetsbaki ngmyski nthenI
would'v
ewokenupawhi l
elaterthanthat.I
wasn'tfeeli
ngwel l
.Iwasn'tsi
cksi ckbutIwas
feel
inglikemar i
natedcrap.Iattendedtomy
phoneandf oundat extmessagef rom Tumi
whichread" B****I
'mt ryi
ngtocallyou".He
call
edagai nbeforeIcouldcollectmyselfand
call
him back.
"Youwer esti
llsl
eeping?Youcan't.You
honestlycannot!"
,hesaid,soundi
ngl i
kehewas
pacingthehospi t
al.Thenoisebehindhim
alert
edmeofhi slocati
on.Hospit
alshavethis
uniqueandobv iousechot othem.Anechot hat
i
ncludesbabycr iesanddisembodi ed
conversati
ons.
"
Iwas.I
'
m notf
eel
ingtoogood"
,Il
owl
ysay
.My
v
oicewasal
sonotcooper
ati
ng.
"Yousoundli
keasi ckdr
unkard.Come.I
'l
l
checkyouout",hesaysandcutsthecal
l
.Idr
ag
my sel
foutofbedandmakemywayt ot
he
bathroom.Ii
nstant
lyknewthatmymom wasn' t
aroundbecauseshewould'v
ewokenmeup3
centuri
esago.Whatevert
opsecrett
hatcal
l
s
hernameev erymorni
ngmustbev er
yimportant.

.
..

"Yourbloodpressureissati
sfactorybuty our
temperatureis4degr eeshi
ghert hannor mal.
You'reprobablycatchingacol
d" ,
Tumi says
afterhepull
st hethermometeroutofmymout h.
Iwasseat edandhewasst andingov ermei n
hisnavy-bl
uescr ubs.
"Andyouneedahai
rcut
",Isayandhel
aughs,
brushi
nghi
shandoverhi
shai r
.
"Li
fe'
skak.Ther
e'snoti
mef ort
hat"
,hesays
andconti
nueswithhi
swr i
ti
ngs.Il
aughl
ight
ly.
"
Yourexwasaski
ngabouty
ou"
,hesay
s,pul
l
sa
chai
randwheel
shi
msel
far
oundi
nit
.
"
Howi
she?
"
"
Ican'tdi
scl
osethat"
,hesaysandf
ixeshi
spen
i
ntothetoppocketofhi
stop.
"Si
ncewhen?"
,Iaskandhedragsthe
pret
ent
iouszi
ponhismouth.Ilaugh.
"Okayokay
.CanIseehi
mthen?"
,Iaskand
dropshi
sfacet
olookatmesuspi
ciousl
y.
"Ijustwannaknowwhat ..
.Ij
ustwannaseehow
he'sdoing",Isayandgetup,
taki
ngmybag
from thetable.
"
Okay.I
'
lltakey
out ohim.Just.
..y
ouknowwhat?
Nev
ermind.Let
'sgo",
hesay sandweleav
ethe
r
oom.

Tumi j
ustshowedmewheretoenterand
passed.WhenIgoti
n,het
urnedhi
shead
towardsmeandimmediat
elysmil
ed.
"Heyyou"
,heweakl
ysai
dandIj ustst
ared
befor
eIcoul
drememberthatIneedtogreet
back.
"
Hey
"
"
Comei
n",
hesai
dandIwal
kedt
owar
dshi
m.
"
Howar
eyou?
",IaskedasIpul
l
edachai
rtosi
t.
"
Ali
ve"
,hesai
dandl
aughed.Idi
dn'
t.
"
Wer
eyouaf
rai
dyouwer
egonnal
oseme?
"
"St
opit
.Ij
ustcametoseehowy
ouweredoing",
Isai
dandhenoddedwit
hadownwar
dlycur
v ed
l
ip.
"Whathappened?"
,Iasked.Ineededtoconnect
thedot
sbetweenMbuso' stheoryandthe
acci
dents.I
ftheywereanydotstoconnect.
"
Why
?",
heaskedandIcl
ear
edmyt
hroat
.
"Becauseyouknowthathe'
sresponsi
blef
ormy
accident
.That
'swhyyou'
reaski
ng",hesai
dand
kepthiseyesonme.
"
Who?
"
"
Stoppl
ayinggamesBet
so.Youwer
ether
e
whenhethreat
enedme!
"
"
Ifyou'ret
alki
ngaboutMuzi
you'
reheav
il
y
mistaken"
"
Wer
eyounott
her
ewhenhesai
d..
."
"
IWASbut
..
.yout
hreat
enedhi
mtoo!
"
"Ididn'
tactonitbutbecausehe'
sacowardhe
senthisbrothert
ocomet hreat
enmeand
ulti
matelydohisdir
tyjobforhi
m!",
hear
gues
back.Hisbrother
?

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t88.

"
Whi
chbrotherar
ey outal
ki
ngaboutKG? "
,I
l
owl
yaskedandfidgetedontheseatofmy
chai
r.Healsobroughthi
schestdownand
swall
owed.Thenkeptquiet.Mbusowoul
dn't
havefoughtMuzi'
abattl
es.Ifi
twashi
mt henit
meanshewaspushi nghisownagenda.Ifit
's
Manqobat henMuzidefi
nit
elyknowssomething
aboutthi
saccident
.
"
Whi
chbr
oth.
..
"
"Pl
easeleave",
hemadesuremysent
encewas
short
li
ved.Iexhal
edt
hengotupt
oleave.When
Igottothedoor,
"Ar
eyougonnagethi
m ar
rest
ed?
",Icoul
dn'
t
hel
pbutask.
Hekepthi
seyesontheblackTVscreen.I
twas
of
fbutheatt
enti
vel
ykeptthem gl
uedther
e.
"No.Yourpr
ecioushusbandisnotgoi
ngtoj
ail
",
hesaidandIfeltsomeairofr
eli
efimmedi
atel
y
cir
cul
ati
ngmyl ungs.
"Butt
hisi
snotov
er,
notbyal
ongshot
",he
added.What
?
"
Whatdoy
ou.
..
"
"
Imeanexact
lyt
hat
.By
eBet
so"

Kgokagano'swor ds(readast hreat )bapt i

zedmy
brai
ninapool fullofst r
essasIdr ov ehome.I f
heisplanningsomet hingmal i
cioust henIhav e
towarnMuzi abouti tbut,Ihav et obesmar t
aboutitbecauseIcan' texactlytellhimt hatI
wenttoseemyex.Anext hatalmostdr opped
anink,astainthatwoul d'veserv edast hef ul
l
stoptomymar riage.Igothomeandmymom
wasst i
ll
nothome.Iwasn' tevenaboutt o
bothermy sel
fwi thhersecr et
ivewher eabouts.I
hadbiggerprobl emst odeal with.IcalledMuz i
andhepi ckedup, surpri
singly,neversai da
word.
"
Baby
?Ar
eyout
her
e?"
,Ichecked.
"Yeah.YeahI
'm here"
,hef
inal
l
yresponded.He
soundeddist
racted.
"
Yougood?
",heasked.
"
Noar
eYOUokay
?"
"Whydoyouask?
",her
epl
i
ed.Hewasr
ather
,
dist
ant
.Al
oof
.
"Noyouj
ustsoundbesi
desy
our
sel
f.Ar
eyou
okay
?"
"I
'
m alri
ght"
,hesaidandsoundedasifhejust
downedagl assofsomethi
ng.Mostprobably
whiskey.
"Ugrandwena?"(
Areyouokay
?),
heasked.
Somethingabouthi
smoodwasmakingme
ner
vous.
"
YeahI
'
mfi
ne.Howwasy
ourday
?"
"
Theusual
.Howwasy
our
s?"
,heaskedback.
"
Uhm,
theusual
",Ihadt
osay
.
"
Mmm"
,hemut
ter
ed.
"
Isy
ourl
apt
opokaynow?
",heasked.Ihadt
old
himthati
tfr
eezesandj
amswhenev
eri
tfeel
s
l
ike.
"
Yeahi
t'
sfi
ne.I
t'
sbeenbehav
ingsi
ncet
hel
ast
t
imewespoke"
"
Arey
our
eadyt
omov
etomor
row?
",heasked.
"
Yeah"
,Ir
epl
i
ed.
"
Exci
ted?
"
"
Yeahbut
..
."
"IknowIknow.I
'
m gonnaj
oinyousoon.The
breakwasabadidea"
,hest
atesandmyheart
smi l
es.
"
Imi
ssy
ou"
,I'
m qui
ckt
orespond.
"Iknowmyl ove.Ev
eryt
hingisgonnagobackto
normalsoon",hesaysandIimmediatel
ythi
nk
backtotheplanshehadt ohavemeand
Mabuy i
inthesamey ar
d.
"Whatti
mear
ethet
ruckguy
scomi
ng?
",I
enqui
red.
"Don'
tworryaboutthem.Justpackyour
suit
caseandI'
llhav
esomebodyf etchyou
okay?"
"
Whataboutmycar
?Icandr
ivemy
sel
f"
,Ist
ate
i
nvi
ndi
cati
on.
"
Hellwi
ll
havetr
ansfor
mtoagardenofr
oses
f
ir
st"
,hecal
mlysaysandIl
augh.
"
I'
m anadul
t.Yout
endt
ofor
gett
his"
"Apregnantadult
.BhekaIhavet
ogo.
Ngik'
thandaukufayezwa?"
(Il
oveyoutodeat
h),
herushingl
ysaidandendedthecall
.

.
..

Idi
dmostoft
hepackingt
heprev
iousday.My
mom hel
pedmefi
nishupint
hemor ni
ngaround
5.
"
Ithoughty
ouwer
egonnabeagai
nstme
mov i
ngandstuff
",Isai
dasIf ol
dedt
hejean
whichnolongerf
itme,againstmychest
.She
exhaledandcont
inuedzippi
nguponeofmy
suit
cases.
Shet
hensunkdownonthebedandpul
l
edme
bymyhandsoIsi
tnextt
oher.
"YouknowIl
oveyouri
ght
?",
shesai
dand
brushedmypal
m wi
thher
s.
"
But?Areyougi
vi
ngmeupf oradopt
ion?
",I
j
oki
nglysai
dandsher
eleasedanimmediat
e
l
augh.
"Omakgakgakana" (Itendtoforgetthatyoucan
besil
lysomet imes),shesaidandcont i
nued
l
aughing.Herl aughteralwaysforcesasmi le
fr
om myl i
ps, nomat terthetypeofmoodi tmay
beburiedit
.Herl aughterwil
lalway sfi
ndaway
tounburyitfrom thedeepestwel lsofanyt y
pe
ofdepression.
"
List
en,
thi
sisy
ourhome.I
'
m st
il
lyourmot
her
.
But,
you'r
esomebody'swif
enow.It
'sabouthi
gh
ti
meIacceptedi
t.Ineededanear
fulf
rom Ro.
..
",
shethenabr
uptl
ycutherstat
ementshort
.
"
From who?
",Ipr
odded.
"Al
lI'
m sayi
ngi
s,y
ou'r
esti
llmychi
ldbutI
'm
but
tingoutofy
ourbusi
nessnow",
shestat
es.
"
That
'saf
ir
st"
,Isai
d.
"
Ther
e'sat
imeandpl
acef
orev
ery
thi
ng"
"Wenanah.Wi
sewoman",Imockedandshe
sof
tl
yhitt
hetopofmyhand.
"
CanIaskyouquest
ion?
",Iasked.Ri
ski
ngmy
whol
eli
fe.
"Depends"
,shesai
d,l
ooki
ngatmewi
th
suspici
on.
"
On?
",Ist
aredatherback.
"
Justaskmot
howaModi
mo"
"
Waj
ola?
"(Ar
eyoudat
ingany
one?
)
"I
sthatsomethingtodowi t
hMarshall
artsora
cooki
ngshow? "
, shesay sandst
art
swhi stl
i
ng.
Shejustadmit
tedwi thoutevenr
eali
zi
ngi t
.I
l
aughedindisbelief
.
"
Momma!"
,myeyesfol
l
owedhers,whi
chwer
e
r
unni
ngamar
athononthecei
l
ing.
"
Keeng!
?"(
Whati
sit
?),
shel
oudl
yexcl
aimed.
"
Kemang?
"(Whoi
she?
)
"Letmegopacky ouf
oodfortheroadokay
?",
shesaysandstandsup,
tryi
nghermost
extremebestt
oconcealasmil
e.
"Heeee..
."
,Isayandshewalksout.Icoul
dhear
herdisembodiedlaught
erdi
sappeari
ngwithher
downt hecorri
dor.

.
..

"
Woul
dyoul
i
ket
ost
opbyt
heshopsma'
am
befor
ewepr oceedwithourtr
ip?
",heaskedbut
kepthi
seyesont heroad.He'
ssopr of
essi
onal
.
He'sevenwearingasuit
.
"Not hanky ou.Ihav eev eryt
hi ngIneedher e",I
sayandpatt hepl asti
cbagf ull ofsnacksasI
devour edmymot her'
stoast edsandwi ches.She
wasgener ouswi ththebacon.Andt hecheese.
Theonl yt hi
ngt hatmademei mpat ientwitht he
tri
pwasmyback.Mybackwasachi ng.Ihad
ranoutofadj ustment stomysi tti
ngposi t
ion.
Event hepr essurepill
owIhadpl acedbehi nd
mewasf edupwi thdoingmef avors.Muzi kept
texti
ngt ocheckuponmeev ersi nceIt oldhim
aboutt hebackpai n.Iknowhe' spani ckingand
he'sdoi ngav eryterri
blejobathi dingit.Iended
uplocki ngmyphoneandput tingi taway .The
driv
er '
sphoner angmi nutesl at erandbecause
myear sdidnotcomewi t
hlids,
"
Ta?
"
"
Vandag?
"
"
Nou?
"
"
Hao"
"
Noay
ikhoi
nki
nga"
(Ther
e'snopr
obl
em)
"
Alr
ightsur
e"
Ikeepmyey esfixedathi
m hopingforan
update.Heglancedattherearvi
ewmi rrorand
conti
nueddrivi
ng.Ievent
uall
yfell
asleep.

.
..

"
Ma'
am?
"
"Mr
sK?
",her
epeat
edl
ysai
d,t
ryi
ngt
owakeme
up.
"We'r
ehereal
ready
?",
Isai
danday
awn
escapedmyli
ps.
"
Yes",
hesai
dandmadehi
swayoutofthecar
.I
l
ookedoutt
hewi
ndowandmyeyesst
uckona
boar
dabov
eaconcr
etebui
l
ding.
'
DrMasi ngi
.Gy naecol
ogyandObst
etr
ics'
,i
t
read.Heindicatedwit
hhishandt
hatIshoul
d
comeout .Idid,wit
hmyhandbag.
"MrKhumal osai dt obringy ouher e.You' llfi
nd
mewai t
ingforyouher eout si
de" ,hemuf fl
ed
duet othecigaretteinbet weenhi sdar klipsand
setitali
ght,walkingawayf rom me.Thesun
wasoutandI 'm guessinghewast aking
advantageofhi snowf reetimet obat hei nits
warmt h.Igotinandcompl etedal lthe
paperwor kIneedt oatr ecept i
onandwas
guidedt oheroffice.Thewai t
ingar eawas
empt y.Ipurposelesslyinspect ed.Thei nsideof
theplacewascol d.Igotinandshei mmedi atel
y
stoodupwi thasmi le,t
akingof fhergl asses.
"Iwasexpect
ingyou.Howdoyoudo?
",she
cheer
ful
lysai
d,pull
i
ngmeintoanembrace.
"
I'
m okay
.Howar
eyou?
",Igr
eet
edbackl
i
kea
nor
mal
per
son.
"
I'
m okay.Areyoureall
y?"
,shei
nter
rogat
ed.I
l
aughed.Itsoundedl
ikeshehadbeenbrief
ed.
"
Iam butmybacki
snot
"
"Mm Isee.Backpai nisnormali
ny ourcondi
ti
on
butcomet hi
ssi de",
shesaidandledmet oher
evaluat
ionbed.Shemademel ieonmyback
andappl i
edav erycoldgel
onmyst omach.I
fl
inchedabit.Shelaughed.

Whenwewer edone,
shewentbackt
oherchai
r
andIsatupt
ogetdressed.
"
I'
m gonnadr
awsomebloodandsendi tt
othe
l
abneh?Don'
tpani
c.Nothi
ngiswrong.Ij
ust
l
i
ketomakesure",
shesaidandInodded.
"I
sther
eanyhist
oryofgeneti
cbi r
thdefect
sin
ei
thery
oursoryourhusband'
sf amil
y?"
,she
askedwit
hherpenov erherf
older,wai
ti
ngtojot
down.
"
Nott
hatIknowof
"
"Ooookay ",
shesaidandwr otedown.Sheasked
acoupl eofquesti
onsandIt ri
edtobeas
transparentasIpossi
blycould.Shethen
i
nst r
uctedthatIstayawayf r
om caff
eineandI
nodded.
"Doy ouhav
eanyquest
ions?
",sheaskedand
closedthef
il
eatt
hesamet i
me.
"
I'
vebeenexperi
enci
ngalotofhear
tburnand
i
ndigest
ionl
atel
y.I
'
vebeenonetosufferf
rom
t
hese"
"Thosearenor mal t
oo.See, wheny ou're
pregnant,
y ourbodyisgoi ngthroughHEAVY
hormonal changesandi mbal ances.It'
sli
kea
paradi
gm shi f
tfr
om howi tusedt ooperate
undernormal cir
cumst ances, r
esult
inginyour
digest
ivesy st
em feeli
ngal i
ttleoutofplace.
Whaty oucandoi s,includeal otoffibr
einyour
dietandpl easefort heloveoft heGodsof
babi es,avoidacids.Amaj ori
tyofpr egnant
woment endtogi veintothiscravingforcol
a
fi
zzydr i
nks.Don'tall
owt hedev ilt
ousedear
mom" ,
shesai dandIl aughed.Weendedup
talkingaboutawhol elotofot herthi
ngs
unr elat
edt otheappoi ntment.Ili
keher.
"
Thanky
oudoc"
"
Please,
call
meMasingi
ta.I
'
llemai
lyouwi
th
y
ourappoint
mentdat
es"
"SoyournameisMasi
ngi
taMasi
ngi
?",
Iasked
andshelaughed.
"YesyesIgett
hatal
ot.Myparent
scanrhy
me"
,
shesaidandwebothexpl
odedinfi
tsof
l
aughter.
"Here'smycard.Shoul
dyouencount
erany
problem,docallme.Anyt
imeofday",shesai
d
andhandedittome.
.
..

WhenIwasdonewi thDrMasi ngita, Iwentback

outsideandwecont inuedwi thourt rip.I
ttook
asappr oximat elyf i
fteenmi nut est ogett othe
house.Iinst ant l
yfellinlovewi ththegar denand
howser enet henei ghbor hoodseemed.Al lI
couldhearwasbi rdschi r
ping.Not raffi
c.No
hooting.Heunl oadedt hebagsf rom t heboot
andt hefrontdoorwentopen.Al adycameout
andgr eetedus.Ij ustconcl udedt hatshewas
thehelpf rom herat t
ire.Shei ntroducedher sel
f
asNombuso.I twasatt hatver ymomentwher e
Ireali
zedt hatIdi dnotcat cht hedr iver'
sname.I
waitedforhi mt ocomebackf rom t hehouset o
ask.Hel aughedbef orehecoul dt ellme.Hi s
namei sBangi zwe.Het ol
dmehehader r
ands
torun,goti ntohi scarandl eft.Iwasl eftwith
Nombuso.Shewasal lsmi l
esandhadar eady
l
augh.Wewal kedi ntothehouseandshe
showedmear ound.Ihadt
oaskifshewas
goingtobeher eful
lti
me.I
tmadeev er
ythi
ng
awkwar d.Shemight'
veper
cei
veditasme
disl
iki
ngher.
"WhenIgothi
red,
oneofthet
ermswer ethatI
wouldmoveinsoIcanbeatyourser
vice
shoul
dyouneedme",shesai
dandInodded.
"
YouspeaksuchgoodEngl
i
sh"
,Icompl
i
ment
ed.
"Ohthankyou.Alotofpeoplealwaysget
shockedatthi
s.Consider
ingthekindofworkI
do",shesai
dandgotmet hi
nking.She'
s
defi
nitel
yol
derthanmebutwayy oungert
han
Muzi.
"Howlonghav
eyoubeenwor
kingasamai
d?"
,I
asked.
"6months.Icompl etedmybachelorofnursi
ng
5yearsago",sheinformed,placi
ngbothher
handsinthelargefrontpocketofherapr
on.
"
Whyar
en'
tyouanur
se?
",Ii
nvest
igat
ed.I
tdi
dn'
t
makesense.
"Ahsisi
.Wi t
chcr af
t",
shesaid,Icouldsensethat
Iwassomehowpeel ingwounds.Wewal ked
overtothelivi
ngr oom.Thehousewaswel l
desi
gnedandt houghtt hr
oughbut,Ihadno
chancetomar v elatitconsi
deri
ngthenatureof
theconversati
on.Wesatdownandsheexhal ed.
Deeply.
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
",Ipr
odded.
"Apparentl
ymymat ernalauntmadedeadsur e
thatIdon'tamounttoany thi
ng.Iwaswor ki
ng
foruBhutSabelobeforeIcameher e.Hesaid
i
t'sanemer gencyandy ourhusbandmadei t
cleart
hatit'
stemporary",sheexplainedandI
tri
edtotraceherthoughtsandf eeli
ngs.
"Wher
etofrom her
e?You'
regoi
ngbackt
o
Sabel
o?"
,Iasked.
"
Yes"
,shef
ir
mlyconf
ir
med.
"
Dot
heyknowofy
oursi
tuat
ion?
",Iasked.
"
Who?Mybosses?
",sheasked.
"
Yes"
"AhbhutSabeloi
salwaysont heroad.He's
barel
yatthehouseandIdoubtheev enknows
myname.Wi thMrMuzi,thephonecal l
i
ntervi
ewIhadwi t
hhim wasverybriefandit
soundedli
kehewaswayt oobusyforniceti
es"
,
shesaid.
"
Doy
oust
il
lwantt
obeanur
se?
"
"Wit
hallmyheart.Andul
ti
matelybecomea
doctor
",shebeamedwithexci
tementandI
coul
dn'tfat
hom t
hesuddenfeeli
ngthathad
over
comemyhear t
.
"Okay
.Youcango"
,Isai
dandshequi
ckl
yst
ood
uptoleav
e.

.
..
Imett hechef ,exchangedgreetings,
gav ehi
ma
l
istoft hingsIdon'teatthenproceededupst ai
rs
tothebedr oom.Ineededahotshower .WhenI
gotin, Ifoundamacbookont opofthebed, a
planner ,
f l
owersandaboxofchocol ates.I
pickedupt hebunchofwhi terosesandnasal l
y
tooki nthescent .Inot
icedtherewasanot e
stuffedint her
e.WhenIopenedi t,i
tread,

"HopeyouloveournewhomeMr sMe.
Hopeful
ly,
Ididn'tst
uffupwithmychoi cei
nthe
i
nteri
ordecoratorbuti
fIdid,
letmeknowsoI
cansomethingaboutit.Mybiggestfl
exisbeing
abletomakey ouhappy .I
fIl
osethat,I
'dhave
fai
ledasaman.Shoul dIfuckup,pleasebear
withme.

Lov
eal
way
s.
Thewor
sthubbywho'
sonl
ywi
l
li
ngt
olov
eyou
t
hebestwaypossi
ble"

Ireaditt
hriceandwasemot i
onaleachtime.I
wipedmyt earsandcalledmyhusbandt othank
hi
mf orthegifts.Herej
ectedthecallandsenta
messageami nutelat
er,al
ert
ingthatheisina
meetingwiththef ami
lyadult
s.Iplacedthe
phoneont hebedandwentt owheel my
suit
caseclosersoIcant akeoutmyt oil
etr
ies.

Insteadofashower ,
Iopt edforahotbat h
i
nstead.Refreshingisanunder statement.Ifelt
l
ikeacompl etelynewper sonaf t
erwards.When
Iwasbusyl oti
oningmyhandswi thawhite
towel ar
oundmybody ,
acal lcamet hr
ough
from anunknownbutf ami l
iarnumber .Ii
gnor ed.
Nombusoknockedont hedoorandannounced
thatdinnerwasr eady.Itoldhert oputmyf ood
i
nt hemi cr
owav e.Ineededapowernapbef ore
any
thi
ngel
se.

.
..

I'
venev erbeeni nadesser tbef orebutt hi swas
i
t.Thi siswhatIal way sseeonTV.Butt her e
wasanendl ess, continuousst ream.Cl earbl ue
wat erasifext ractedf rom t hebi gbl uesky .It
calmlyandst eadi l
yf l
owedi nt hedi recti
onIwas
headedi n.Icoul dheari t.Iwasbar efootand
wear i
ngawhi t
edr ess.WhenIr aisedmyey esto
theot herside, therewasal argecol l
ectionof
trees,enought ocl assifythepl aceasaf orest,
i
nadesser t.WhenIbr oughtmyey esback, I
wasi mmedi atelymetbyMuzi 'schar mingsmi le
andbeami ngey es, only,hehadgr eyhai r.
"Sawubona",hesai
dandIlaughed.Heshortl
y
j
oinedmeandt hesoundofthel
aughtergr
ew
andamplifi
ed.Iaskedhimifhewastryi
ngto
char
m mealloveragai
n.Hepur
sedhi
sli
psi
nto
asmileandshookhishead.
"Ngifunanj eukukuni kal oku" (
Ijustwantt ogive
yout his),hesaidandsuspendedast ri
ngof
colorful beadsf r
om hi shandandext endedi tto
me.Hi sot herhandwasi nhispocketandhe
wasal sobar efoot.Thebot t
omsofhi str
ousers
wer efol ded.Wel ockedey esandIext endedmy
handt ot akeit
.Hedi dnotr eleasei t.Wehel d
bothends, wit
hourey esst i
lllockedi none
other's.Ahugeandv iolentt ornadoappr oached
outofnowher e.Icoul dseei tsf unnel shape
twisti
ngi nourdirectionbuthewasunf azed.I
wasasecondawayf rom pani cking.Wewer e
sti
llhol dingont othebeadedst ri
ngandIl ooked
awayasi tengulfedt hebot hofus.Iwai t
edf orit
topassbutIcoul df eel thatt hest ri
ngwas
comi ngapar tatthesamet i
me.Theshar pness
ofthedustandsoi l
at tackedmyf aceandi t
passed.WhenIf i
nallyopenedmyey es,I
real
iz
edt hatIwasl eftwit
honlyt wobeadsi n
myhandandt heot hershadobv iouslyfelli
nto
thewater.Thest r
ingwasj ustaiml esslyfl
oating
above.Thewat erwasnowsoi ledand
unappeali
ng.WhenIl ookedahead, IsawMuzi
slowl
yandpat ientl
ywal ki
ngintot hedar kforest
,
withhisbackagainstmeandhi shands, as
usual,
inhispocket s.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t89.

Ithasbeen3day ssinceImov edinandIhav e

settl
edinwell,ev
ent houghal
l Idoi
seatand
watchGr ey'
sanatomy .Muzii
scomi nghome
tomorrowandIcan' twaitt
oseehi m.Thelast
timeIspoket ohim wasabout2hour sagoon
thephone.Isatonmybedal lsnuggledupina
darkgreythrow,whichcomplement smywhi t
e
beddingwell.I'
m offici
all
yanadult.Jokes.I'
ve
neverunderstoodt hehy pearoundwhi t
esheets
buttheseareacomf or
tzonef ormysoul .Thi
s
i
st hesecondpar typackofLay sI
'm having
today.Mywei ghtisnoneofmybusi nessatt hi
s
moment .Whoev erf eel
st heyneedtomi ndit
canbemyguest .

Winterhasof f
iciallybeganandi tstartedonan
aggressivenot e.I t
'smadcol dtodayandIam
notimpr essed.Mywi ndowshav eagood
rel
ationshipwi tht hepositionoft hesun.When
thesuni soutmyr oom get sf ul
l,maxi mum
exposur e.Today ,it'
snotev en4pm y etbutit
'
s
alr
eadyamat eurishl ydark.Ihear dstrong
footstepscomi ngupt hestairs.Patientl
y
runningupt hest ai r
s.Iwai tedtoseewhoof
suchi nsolentbol dnesswascomi ngt odistur
b
mymet i
me.Iwaswai ti
ngf orthem t oknock
buttheopenedt hedoori nst ead.Hewal kedin
andpushedhi
shoodoffhi
shead.Ijumpedout
ofbedandrantohi
m.Heimmediatelyl
aughed
andopenedhi
sarmswideformetof al
li
nto
them.
"Car
eful",hewhi
speredwhenIf i
nall
ygott ohi
m.
Iwrappedmyar msar oundhim.Tightl
y.He
reci
procatedbysqueezingonearm aroundme.
Theot herhadhi
sblacksportsbaginit.Ismel
t
andtooki never
yparti
cleofhi
sscent.Myman
smellsgood.Healway ssmell
sgood.

Iti
ghtenedthehugevenfurt
her.Hedroppedt
he
bagandwr appedbotharmsaround.Mixed
emotionsstar
tedoverpower
ingmeandIbegan
sni
ffi
ng.
"
I'
m sor
ry"
,hehuski
l
ysai
d.
"
Forwhat
?",
Iasked.
"Idon'
tknow.Ev
ery
thing.YouknowhowmuchI
hateseei
ngyoucry
",heexplai
ned.Al
augh
escapedmyl
i
ps.
"
Butyoudon'
tknowwhyI'm cr
ying"
,Isai
d,wi
th
myheadsti
ll
onhischest
.
"Kodw'uyakhal
a.That'
swhatI'
m concerned
about"
(Butyou'
recryi
ng..
.)
,hesi
ncerel
ysays
andIlaughharder
.
"Ij
ustmissedy
ou"
,Iexpressed.Heputhi
s
handsonmyshoulder
s, gent
lypushedmeaway
andlookedmeint
heey e.
"
Imi
ssedy
out
oomkami
",hesay
s.
"I
ri
ngpregnancymongwanneng.Wouldyou
haveal
ookathowgor geousyouare?
",hesay
s
andIl
aughathisskewedpediaccent
.
"Iknowwhaty ou'
relaughingatandI '
m not
goingtoentert
ainyourass.Onemor ewor d
abouthowZul upeopledon'twantt olearnother
l
anguagesandhmmm!Hmm!Ngempel a
angazi"(
Ihonestl
yhav enoidea),hethreatened
andt r
iedtoconcealthefactthatIwasi nf
ecting
hi
m wi
thmylaughter.Hewashav
ingahar
d
ti
mekeepi
ngastraightf
ace.
"Nobabyit'
snotthat
..
."
,It
ri
edexpl
aini
ngandhe
ranaverbalsci
ssori
nthemiddl
eofmy
sent
ence.
"Thenyi
ni?Yi
ni!
???
",herai
sedhi
svoi
ceand
exacer
batedt
heintensi
tyofmyl
aught
er.
"Mciim!",hesayswhenIstruggl
etocont ainmy
l
aught erandbalanci
ngonmyknees.Het hen
picksuphi sbagandsay s"
Umunt uak'delele
endliniyakho.I
maginetheaudacit
y"(
Aper son
willdisr
espectyouinyourownhouse. .
.)
,he
compl ainsashewalksaway ,st
il
ltr
yingto
conceal alaugh.
"
Babywai
t.Iwasn'
t.
..
",Itr
iedexpl
aini
ngasI
f
oll
owedhi
mt othewal k-
incl
oset
.
"Thulasatan"
(Shutup),hesai
dandwalkedi
n.I
foll
owed.Heputi tdownandsatonthefoot
stooltotakeoffhissneaker
s.
"Iwasl
aughingaty
ourpr
onunciat
ionbabyman
i
t'sj
ust
..
."
,Isai
dandranoutofdecept
ion
bundl
es.
"Just!?Justwhat ?Chazaphel a
ngil
alele"(
Explai
nI'mli
steni
ng) ,
hesaidand
stoodup, taki
ngof fhi
shoodie.Theblackli
ght
sweat erhewasunder neathri
sedt ohi
schest,
exposinghi sabdomen.At oolthedevi
lcanuse
atanyt imeofdayt otemptev enthestr
ict
estof
nuns.Het hr
ewt hehoodieinthebasketand
fi
xedhi stop.
"Yinisisi
?Suyangi rhalel
amanj e?"(Ar
eyounow
cravingforme? ),hesai dandreleasedacocky
l
aught er.Iwasn'tev enawarethatIwasl ustf
ull
y
l
ooki ngathim.Hecont i
nuedl
aughi ngasheput
hisshoesaway .Ilaughedaswel landtr
iedto
approachhi mforaki ss.Heheldbot hmyhands
yhatwer eapproachi nghischesttogether.Hi
s
wer e'dammitly
' cold.
"
Unf
ort
unat
ely
,I'
m Chr
ist
ian"
,hedeadset
l
ookedmei ntheey
etotel
lmenonsense.I
l
aughedoutloudwhenhewal
kedoutandleft
meinther
e.
"Khumal
o!"
,Iyel
l
edasIfol
l
owedhi
m.Hewas
headi
ngtothebathr
oom.
"Heretheyarelor
d.Heretoder
ail
yourki
dsand
l
eadt hem ast
ray"
,heprocl
aimedashewalked.
IlaughedasIwalked.
Hegott hereandraisedt hefaucett
oallowfor
thefl
owofhotwat er.Ihuggedhi mfrom behi
nd
andpil
lowedmyf aceagai nsthi
sback.He
rel
easedsomehandwashf r
om thebott
leand
washedhi shands.Islippedmyhandsunderhi s
topandsl owl
yraisedup.
"Nkosiyam uy
angizwana?Ngi t
hil
eadusnotto
temptati
onbutdeliv
erusfrom evi
l
"(Lor
dar
e
youli
steni
ng?),hesaidasheconti
nuedtowash
hishandsandIex pl
odedinlaught
er.
"
Stopi
t"
,Isai
dandhegr
abbedat
owel
todr
yhi
s
hands.Wi
thmyhandsst
il
lar
oundhi
m.

[
REMOVED]

.
..

Ourshower st ogetherli
stasoneoft hethi
ngs
thatsetourmar r
iageonf i
re.Muzi cannotkeep
hishandsofme.Af t
erwewer edoneget ti
ng
cleanedup, bothofusgotdr essedi nHIS
tracksuit
sandheadeddownst ai
rs.Hewas
eagert ocookf ormeaf terhefoundoutt hatI
hav eneverhadf ri
edriceinmyl i
fe.
"You'
remissingout",
hisexactwords.Iasked
himifweshoul dn'
tconsul
twiththechefandhe
saidhealreadyspoketohim andthehelp.Igot
settl
edont hechai
rbecauseIwasn'taboutthe
l
ifeoftouchinganyt
hing.Hetookouthis
i
ngredientandpre-
heatedthestov
ewhi l
etel
l
ing
stor
iesabouttheadorabl
eAv aandthatshehas
beenaskingaboutme.

"Baby
.Howwel
ldoy
ouknowNombuso?
",I
enqui
red.
"
Who'
sthat
?",
heasked.
"
Hao.Thehel
pyouhi
red"
"
Ohy eah.Tobehonest,al
otwashappening
whenwespokesoIki nda.
..
",heexpl
ain.
"
For
gothername!
?",
Ilaughed.
"Idi
dnot"f
orget
"hername.Mybr ai
njust
happenedt
omi spl
aceit
",hesai
dandshrugged.
"Yeahri
ght.Sheneedsaj
ob.She'
squal
i
fiedi
n
nursi
ng",
Istate.
"
I'
mlost
",hesay
sandsl
i
ght
ysqui
nts.
"
TheEngl
i
shIj
ustspokei
sst
rai
ghtf
orwar
d",
I
sai
d.I
ntent
ional
l
ypr
ovoki
nghi
m.
"Well
excusethef**koutofmygaddam french.
Idon'
tunderst
andit.
",heret
ali
atedashe
openedthefri
dge.Il
aughed.
"
Shehasadegr
eei
nnur
singbuti
sst
ruggl
i
ngt
o
f
indaj
ob"
"
Ngi
yaqal
aukuy
izwami
nakel
eyo"
(That
'saf
ir
st)
"
Iknow.Ial
sot houghteverynursi
ngand
t
eachi
ngstudentgoesst r
aighttoworkaf
ter
v
arsi
tybutaft
ermyr esearch,t
hat'
snotalway
s
t
hecase.Butwi t
hthisoneasI '
vesai
d,i
t'
sa
l
ongstor
y",If
urtherexpl
ain.
"Youcan'tgi
vemehalf-
bakedstori
esand
expectmet ohel
p.Cutthelongst
oryshor
t"
,he
saysasheopenst hebott
om cupboar
dand
scansaround.
"
If
ihl
waphii
ri
cel
aekhaya"(
Wheredoy
all
hide
t
hericei
nthi
shouse?
),hesay
sashegoeson
t
oopenthetop.
"Shesay sithasalottodowi thauntsand
witchcraftbabyman.Ar eyouhelpi
ngornot ?
",I
askanddr opsmypal msont hekit
chencounter
.
Het urnturnstolookatme, standi
ngagainst
thecupboar ds.Heplaceshishandsinhis
pockets,biti
nghislowerli
p.Seeminglythi
nki
ng.
"Aish.Angazibaby.Mostofmycontactsare
eit
herinconstructi
on,
laworretai
l.I
'
mt r
yingto
thi
nkofsomet hi
ngbut.
..
",hesaysandcrosses
hislegs.Thenbiteshi
slowerli
pagain.
"I
'
llspeakt
ouMadl
ami
ni.May
beshemi
ghtbe
abletohel
p"
"Doessheknowany
bodyi
nthedepar
tmentof
healt
hor.
..
?"
"
She'sanon-
practi
singbutqual
if
ieddoct
or.She
mightbehel
pfulangazi
",hesay
s.
"What?
",Iwasastounded.Al
lthi
sti
meI '
vebeen
si
tt
ingherethinki
ngthatt
heonlyti
tl
etoher
wasar i
ch,"
slayqueen"ofahousewif
e.He
l
aughsathowshockedIam.
"
What
?",
heasks.
"
Ithought
..
.whyi
sshenotpr
act
isi
ng?
",Iask.
"Shedoesn'
tl
ikemedici
ne.Shehasaphobi
af or
blood"
,hesaysandconti
nueslooki
ngf
orhis
ri
ce.I'
d'
vehel
phimifIknewwher ei
twas.
"
Whydi
dshest
udyf
ori
tthen?
",Ienqui
re.
"Herfather.Thatmanwasst rictbengi
msaba
nami.Itwasei t
herhi
swayort hefri
gginhigh
way "
,hesai dandIwasst i
lll
eftinawe.Iwasn't
surpri
sedt hatIdidn'
tknow.Generall
y,she'
snot
aboast ful
per son.

.
..

Tomysev er
eir
ri
tat
ion,Muzi
'sphonewasrude
enoughtowakethebothofusup,for
cinghi
m
toloosenhi
sgr
iparoundmebecausehehad
beenwar mlycuddl
ingme.Ashecont i
nuedto
speak,Iestabl
i
shedthati
twashismot herand
whateveritwas,i
twasnotgood.Afterhecut
thecal
l,hejumpedoutofbedheadingtothe
bathr
oom.If ol
lowedhim,bar
efoot
.
"
What'
swrong?
",Iaskedashesqueezedsome
t
oot
hpast
eontohisbrush.
"Avaisi
nhospi
tal
.Seizur
es",hesay
sand
conti
nuest
obrushhisteeth.
"What?Issheokay?Aretheycontagiouskanti
?",
Iuni
ntenti
onall
ybombardhim withthese
questi
ons.Heshrugsandcont i
nuesbrushing.
Hethenwal ksouttot
heclosetandcomesout
havi
ngchanged.Igrabbedmyr obesandputi t
onashef etchedhi
sphoneandcarkey sfr
om
thepedestal
.Itwassti
l
lunpleasant
lycold.
"
I'
ll
bebacksoonokay
?",
hei
nfor
msandki
sses
myfor
ehead.
"
Dri
vesaf
ely
",Isay
.Heexhal
es.
"
Iwi
l
l.Il
ovey
ou"
,hesay
sandpl
ant
saki
sson
myl
i
ps.
"Il
oveyoutoo"
,Isayandhestopstolookatme
foramomentthenleaves.AsmuchasIwas
l
ookingfor
wardtospendingti
mewi t
hhim and
am sadtoseehimleave,Avaneedshi
m mor e.

.
..

"
Thi
sTVwi ll
endupexploding"
,Nombusosays
f
rom behi
ndthecouch.Shegavemeaf r
ight
.
"I
'm sorr
y",
sheapologizeswhenshenot ices
thi
s.Ihavebeenswi t
chingandchangi ng
channelsbecausenothingsinterestsmeonthe
tel
evisi
on.NotthatIwasat t
ent i
velywat
ching
butmay beIwould'
veifsomet hingcaughtmy
att
ention.
"
It
'sal
ri
ght
.Ij
ustdi
dn'
theary
oucomei
n",
I
assur
e.
"
Ist
hatTheHarvar
dWi fe?
",sheasks,poi
nti
ng
t
othebookIhadplacedont het
able.
"Yeahiti
s.I
'mreadi
ngi
tforthefift
ht i
mebut
todayIcan'
tseem t
oconcentrat
e",Isayand
conti
nuetoabusether
emot e.Shelaughs.
"
Whydoy
oupeopl
edot
hat
?",
sheasks.
"
Dowhat
?Readabookmor
ethanonce?
"
"
Yeah.Ican'
treadsomethingwhenIknowhow
t
heeventswil
l unf
old"
,Il
augh.
"I
thappenswheny
our
eadagoodbook"
,I
defend.
"Nope.I'
vereadalotofgoodbooksincluding
Nomaswazi ,TheRoyalMist
ressandNal edi-
His
l
ov e.Idon'
treadabookmor ethanonce",she
argues.
"Apartf
rom t
hebookbeinggood,
itki
l
lsal
lthe
anxiet
ywheny ouknowhowthebookends.You
don'
treadwi
that
ightchest
",Isayandwebot
h
l
augh.
"Hayi
qhubekani
.Andi
zi
.Doyoumi
ndborr
owi
ng
i
ttome?I'v
ebeenmeaningt
ogeti
tbutmy
cashfl
owisabit.
..
"
"Ohnoprobl
em!Youcanhav
eit
.I'
l
lgetanot
her
copy"
,Ii
nfor
m.
"Thanky ousomuch!"
,sheexci
tedl
yexpr
esses.
Ican'tkeepmysmileaway.
"
It
'sapl
easur
e",
Isayandgr
abmyphone.
"
Hey,
she'
slaunchi
nghernewbookt
omor
row.
Ar
eyoukeen?"
"Who?Busi
seki
l
e?"
,It
akemybackof
fthe
couchandt
urntol
ookather
.
"
Yes!
",shel
oudl
yaf
fi
rms.
"TheeBusi
seki
l
eKhumal
o?"
,Ir
eit
erat
etomake
sure.
"
Yes!
",shel
aughsatmydi
sbel
i
ef.
"OfcourseI'
m keen!I
'v
ebeenwantingtomeet
herforthel
ongesttime.HowdidImissthat
?
Shesurelypostedabouti
tonhersocial
plat
formsright
? "
"Searchme.Al lIknowisI'
m goingonanall
expensespai dtri
ptomorrow."
,shesaysand
dustst hetopofthecouchwithasmi rkonher
faceandl eaves.Il
aughinastonishment
.So
calculati
ngandsneaky!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t90.

Lateronintheevening,Iorder
edtakeouts
becauseIhadf orsomer easongi
vent hechef3
daysoff.Thefactthatt
hishouseisoccupiedby
random peopl
ebutmyhusbandmai msmy
sanit
y.Thechefdoesn'tli
veherebutst i
l
l.
NombusoandIagr eedonday swhereshe
wouldsl eepov er
.Idon'tthinkI '
dhandl ehav i
ng
here24/ 7/365.Shecanbaby sitmewhenI '
min
needofcompany .Yesbaby sit
.That '
swhat
Muzi euphemi sti
call
yhiredherf or.Hedi dn'
t
wantt oout r
ightinsultmyi ntel
ligence.Today ,
sheissleepingov er.Ihav eshydemons.They
hatecompany .Whenev ert here'speople, t
hey
ref
rainfrom f orci
ngmet oconf rontthingsI
wouldn'tbecaughtt hinkingabouti nbroad
dayl
ight.

Myphoner i
ngsasIwasbusylooki
ngfora
snackint
hecupboard.I
'mlef
twit
hasinglebox
ofOreosandRiceKri
spi
es.Thekri
spi
esmake
moresensewithoutmil
ktome.Ineedto
rest
ock.
"
Hel
l
o?"
"
Eveni
ng.I
t'
sthedel
i
ver
yguy
"
"
Ohhi
.Ar
eyouout
side?
"
"Yesma' am.Pl easemakei tsnappy.Myf ingers
arefreezing",hebegsandIl augh.Idropthecal l
andrunupst air
stofetchmypur se.Ithenr un
outsi
det ot hegate.Hemustber eall
yfreezing,
otherwise,hewoul d'
veeasilybeenpat i
ent
enoughf ort heint
ercom.Igettot hegateand
walkoutt omeethi m.I t
's5pm butitalready
l
ooksl ikemot hernaturedi
dnotset tl
eher
elect
ricit
ybi l
l.
"Dumel
a",
Igr eethi
m wi
thasmi
l
easheget
sof
f
hismot
orbike.
"Hao.Wabua.Iwasexpect
ingawhi
teper
son"
,
heconfessesandIl
augh.
"
Whyisthat
?",
Iaskasheuncl
i
pmypur
set
o
t
akeoutmycard.
"Idon'
tknow.Ij ustdid"
,helaughsandhands
met hespeedpoi nt.Aft
erIam done,Ihandi
t
backtohi m hegivesmear eceiptand2boxes
ofpizza.Ifi
rstputthepurseont opbefor
eI
coul dtaket hem soIcanhol dev erything
proper l
y.Hehopsont ohistranspor tandI
abrupt l
ytellhimt owait.Myonel egwasal ready
i
nsoIpl acedt heboxesdownont hey ard
pav ementandopenedmypur seagai n.Ther e
wasaR200not eintheresoIt ooki tandgav eit
tohi m.Icoul dn'
tall
owhi mt ol eavemewi thall
thatgui l
t.Muzi inst
il
ledthishabi ti
nmewi thout
evenr ealizi
ngi t
.Somet i
mesIev ent hinkmoney
l
ov eshi mf orthesimpler easont hathe's
alway skeenoni ntr
oducingitt onewpeopl e,for
thegr eatpriceofnot hi
ng.

WhenIreachedthehouse,
Nombusowas
al
readydonewit
hherbath.
"Yousmel lgood"
,Isai
dasIwalkedpasther .
Shef ol
lowedmet otheli
vi
ngroom.Shesmi l
ed
andaskedmei fI
'dcaref
oracupoft eaor
coffee.Sheinst
antl
yregr
ett
edthelatteropti
on.
Ilaughedandassuredherthati
tisokay .She
t
henwalkedoutandinafewmoment s,Iheard
t
hekett
leboi
li
ngandmugski ssi
ng.Igr
abbed
myphoneandtextedMuzit
ocheckonAv a.

Me:
Howi
sshe?
Him:She'
sokaynow.Stil
ltr
yingt
ogettot
he
r
ootoftheproblem.Herbl
oodhasbeensentt
o
t
helabfortest
ing.Howareyouguys?Imi
ss
you.
Me:
We'
reokay
.Mi
ssi
ngdaddyt
oo.

Nombusocamebackwi ththet eaandar andom

thoughtofMbusobar gedintomymi ndsimply
duet ohername.Iignor edit
.Ichoset o.I
've
beendoi ngwelli
nblocki ngitoutandthere's
nothingthat
'sstoppingmef rom progr
essing
further
.Iqui
cklyrushedupst airstofet
cha
throw.Theweat herwasst il
linsist
enton
project
inghatr
ed.
Shewasal r
eadydi
gginginwhenImademy
wayback.Wemadeconv er
sat
ionfr
om books
tochi
ldhoodmemor i
es.Sheendedup
expl
aini
ngthestor
yaboutherauntfur
ther
.
"Buthowcanbl
oodf
ami
l
ybesov
il
e?"
,Isai
d,
bewil
dered.
"I
thappens.I
t'
sactual
l
yqui
tecommoni nmy
vi
ll
age",
sheexplai
nedandsl
urpedonher
coff
ee.Ij
uststar
ed.
"Youlookshocked.Famil
yCANbey ourbi
ggest
enemiesofprogress"
,shefi
rnl
yaddedasI
digest
edhermat t
er.
"
Sohowdi
dyoumeetSabel
o?"
,Ipr
y.
"He'sactual
l
ymyex" ,
sheinf
ormsandIal
most
chokeonmypi zza.Shel
aughsandnods
repeatedl
y.
"Soyou'
rey
ourex'
shel
p?Idon'
tmeant
o
sound.
..
"
"YeahIam.See, whathadhappenedwas, we
foughtalotduringthepeakofwhent hi
ngsf el
l
aparti
nmyl i
feandIcheat edonhim.Hef ound
outandbr okeupwi thme.Oneday ,wecame
acrossoneanot heratthemal l
andwespoke
aboutli
fe,that
'swhenhef oundoutthatI'm
unemployedandr eadytotakeany
thing",she
explai
nedandt ookabi teofherpi
zza.
"Andthenhehir
edy
ou?Andy
ouagr
eed?
",I
asked,gi
nger
ly.
"YesIhadnochoi ce.Idon'
tthinkheneedsme
actuall
y.Hewasj ustgl
adt ohaveav al
idreason
toseemyf aceoftenbutnotactual
lyhavemei n
hisli
fe",sheexpl
ainedthenshrugged.
"
WhydoIgetthefeel
ingt
hatyou'
vebadl
yhur
t
t
hepoorguy
?",Iaskandl
aughli
ghtl
y.
"No.Ihumbl
edhim",
shesay
sandkeepsher
eyesonthebusyTVscr
eenandIj
ustst
are.
.
..

Decidingonaper fectoutfi
tasapr egnant
womanhasgott obeoneoft hetoughestt hi
ngs
I'
veev erhadtodoi nalltheyearsthatI '
ve
existed.Thecoldweat herwasn'thelping.I
endedupset tl
ingforblackt r
acksuit
, awhite
vestandsneaker s.Idi
dnotcar e.Theonl y
perfectthi
ngonmewashowmywi gwasl ai
d.I
mademywaydownst airsandfoundNombi
waitingformei nthekitchen.
"Haibo!Ist hatwhaty ou'r
ewear ingtothe
l
aunch? ",shegi vestheexactr eacti
onIwas
expect i
ng.Idonotbot hertoreply.Shewasall
doll
edupl ikeshewasonhot spotforthe
weat herfrom anot herconti
nent.Shekept
pull
ingandf ix
inghergol ddress,cl
icki
ngher
blockheel sont hef l
oor.Youcanj ustguess
howshor titwas.Lucki l
y,
shehadenoughl ogi
c
toputabl azerov erhershoulders.Shelooked
sodiffer
ent.Sogorgeous!Weheadoutt
othe
car.Bangizwewasnowher etobeseensoI
droveust othel
ocati
on.

Whenwef i
nal l
ygott her eaftergettinglost
twice, Nombi wasev i
dent l
ymor eexcitedt hanI
was.Wegott ot heent ranceandgotwel comed
byt heaut hor .Shewascour teouslystanding
therewai ti
ngt or eceiv eeachandev eryoneof
us.Thedecorwasobv iouslydonebya
professional .Icoul dn'thel pbutsi l
entlytake
somecol ourcombi nat iont i
ps.Nombi askedt o
beexcusedi mmedi atelywhenwet ookaseat ,
seemi nglyeagert ogogr eetsomebodyshewas
fami li
arwith.Ibeganf eeli
ngoutofpl ace.I
neverat tendev entsbymy sel
ff orthev er
y
reasont hatIdon' twantt obet hatodd- l
ooking
l
onesomeducki nt hepond.It ookoutmy
phoneandai ml essl yopenedandcl osedapps
oni t.Awai terappr oachedmewi thagl ass
gl
assesofwine,champagneandor angejui
ce.I
optedfort
heorangejui
ceanddi dnotbotherto
al
erthimthatIhaveapartner
.Iwasn'tsureof
herint
enti
onsofcomingbackt othistabl
e.

Everyonewasmi ngl
i
ngami dstthesoot
hing
musicexceptf orme.Isuddenlyfel
tafi
rm hand
onmyshoul derasIwasdrinki
ngmyj ui
cewi t
h
di
sinterest,wai
ti
ngforthel
auncht ooff
ici
all
y
st
art.Iturnedbackandhesmi led.
"
Hit
her
e",
hegr
eet
s.
"Hel
l
o",Igreet
edback.Iwasn'
texpect
ingt
osee
himthere.Hegrabbedachai
r.
"Iwasn'
texpecti
ngtoseeyourfaceher
e",
Isay
andkeeptakingli
ght
,consecut
ivesi
psofmy
j
uice.
"
YeahIwasn'
ttoo"
,hesay
sandIl
augh.
"
What
?"
"Iwasonmywayt osomepl
aceelseandI
endeduphere.Women"
,hegrunt
lesandpl
aces
hisphoneonthet
abl
e.
"
Whathav
ewedonet
hist
ime?
"
"I
t'
sawomanwhobr oughtmehere",hesays
andsignalsf
oraladywhowaswal ki
ngand
rubbi
ngherhandst oget
her.Ij
ustguessedshe
wascomi ngfrom t
heloo.
Shef
inal
l
yar
ri
ved.
"B,
meetSiphokazi
.Siphokazi
,B",
heint
roduced
met oherwit
hhishandtravel
li
ngbet
weent he
twoofus.Thewidestsmilegrewonherface
andweshookhands.Shet hentookaseat.Is
shehiswif
e?Ididnotask.Myphonev i
brated
andIatt
endedtoit
.
"
Havingfun?",
thatwasat
extf
rom Muzi.Ihad
t
oldhim aboutatt
endi
ngt
hebooklaunch.
"
Yest
hanks.Howar
eyou?
"
"I
'
m okay
.Pl
easekeepawayfrom mimosas.I
knowhowmuchy oul
ovethem",herepl
iedwi
th
l
aughi
ngemoji
es.Idi
dnotfi
nditfunny.
"
Iam noti
rr
esponsi
ble"
,Isentback.
"Hawubaby .Ngiyadl
ala"(
I'
mj ustki
dding)
.Ihat
e
i
twhenhet reat
smel ikeakid.WhenIt ooka
glanceatNombi ,shewasal lsmitt
enand
getti
ngbutteredupbyaman.Ishookmyhead
butlaughedinter
nall
y.I'
m getti
ngwi l
dcatvi
bes
from her
.

.
..

Imanagedt ogetaper sonal

izedsignedcopy
fr
om Busi seki
leandthatwasenought omake
myent i
remont h.Siphokazihadal i
ttl
etoo
mucht odr i
nk.Il
aterdiscoveredthatsheis
Mphathi'
sl i
ttl
esist
erandt hatwe'reagemat es.
Shedidn'tevenhavet hatmanygl assesbutshe
wasst
ruggl
i
ngt
okeepherey
esopen.
"SeewhyIcoul dn'
tall
owhertocomehereby
herself
?",hesaidandshookhi
shead.I
twas
alr
eadyev eningandthepl
acewasgett
ing
empt i
erbyt heminut
e.Thewait
erswer
ealready
packingupandmyey escoul
dn'
tfi
ndNombi
anywher e.
"
Youl
ookt
roubl
ed"
,hesai
d.
"Iam.Icameherewi t
haf r
iendofmi
neand
nowIcan'tfi
ndher.Idon'
tknowhowshewill
gethome",Isayandunlockmyphonetocal
l
her.
"Surel
yshe'sabiggi
rl
.She'
llf
indherway.Let
's
getthisonetothecarpl
ease?",
hesaysand
pointsattheSi
phokaziwhowassitt
ingonthe
tablewit
hherfaceinherhands.
"Wil
lyoupleasestopt al
ki
ngaboutmeasi fI'
m
nothere"
,shereleasesamuf f
ledstat
ement,
wit
hherfacest i
l
l buri
edinherhands.Herhead
wassur
elypoundi
ng.Shehadav ari
etyof
al
cohol
i
cbev er
agesandthat
'sneveragood
i
dea.
"Okaysinceyou'r
esurey
ou'r
ehere,youcan
aff
or dtogetyoura*
*upfrom t
heresowecan
l
eav e",
hecommands.
"Mm-mm bhuuuuti
",shecomplai
nsi
nslur
red
speech.Il
aughathowconfusedshei
s.

Whenwef inal
lygotheri
ntot
hepassengerseat
,
MphathiaskedwhereI'
m par
kedsohecant ake
methere.
"I
t'
snotthatf
arfrom her
eIcanmanage"
,Isay
andwalk.Helockshi
scarandwalkswit
hme.
"Youdoknowt hatalotcanhappentoyouina
parki
ngl
otright?Especi
all
yify
ou'r
efemaleand
aSouthAfr
icanciti
zen",hewal
ksandtalks.
"
Yeahoneoft
hem bei
ngat
tackedbya
st
ranger
",Isayandchal
l
engehi
m wi
thal
ook.
"Tr
ue.Soy oushouldn'
t...nowai
t.Wheny ousay
str
anger,
ar eyourefer
ringtome? "
,heasksand
i
mmedi at
elylaughs.Ilaughaswell.
"
Tookyoulongenough"
,Isayandcont
inue
l
aughi
ng.
"
Wow!
",hesay
sinhumor
-f
il
leddi
sbel
i
ef.
"DoIhonest
lyl
ookli
kesomebodywho'
s
capabl
eofat
tacki
ngwomen?",
heasks.
"I
t'
salwaysthehandsomeones",
Isayand
standagai
nstmycart ocal
lNombi.
"SoI
'm handsome?",hecheeki
l
yasksandI
squi
nttothreat
enhim wit
hmyphoneagainst
myear.She'snotansweri
ng.
"She'
snotanswer
ing"
,Isayanddr
oppedmy
hand.
"
Itol
dyou.She'
sabi ggirl
.You'
rest
ressi
ng
y
oursel
fovernot
hing".Isi
gh.
"Anyway,si
ncey ouinsi
stonnottel
l
ingmewhat
bookIshouldbuy ,
mi ndcomingtothe
bookstor
ewi t
hme?Asf ri
ends"
,hestatesand
gest
uressurrender.
"Whatelsecanwebeapar
tfr
om t
hat
?",
I
quest
ion.
"
Alot.I
fonl
yyouwouldal
l
ow",hesay
sand
i
nsi
stsonstar
ingi
ntomysoul
.
"
Iam marr
ied.Howmanyt
imesam Isupposed
t
otel
lyouthis?
"
"
Onpaper
",hesay
sandf
ixat
esey
esonme.
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"
"
He'
sbar
elywi
thy
ou.Whatki
ndofahusbandi
s
t
hat
?"
"Youdon'tknowmewel
lenought
omaket
hat
concl
usion"
"
ButIknowt
hathe'
snev
ert
her
eeacht
imeIcal
l
.
Wher
eishenow?"
UNEDI
TED.

I
nser
t91.

"Youknowwhat ?Thisgirli
sanadult.I
fshewas
cleverenought odisappearthenshe'sclever
enought ofi
ndherwaybackhome" ,
myf edup
alteregosay stomebef orefor
cingmet othrow
myphoneont hepassengerseatasIdr iveback
home.If i
nal
lyarri
vedhomeandswi tchedon
thelights.AsIwast readingmywayupst ai
rs,I
receivedacal l
.
"
Hel
l
o?"
"Don'
thanguppleaseit
'sme!"
,thecal
ler
beggedfrom t
heotherendoftheli
neandI
i
mmedi at
elyknewwhoi twas.
"
Noty
ouagai
n?"
,Icoul
dfeel
exhaust
ional
ready
sur
mount
ingmyshoul
der
sli
keamonkey
get
ti
ngontopofat
reebr
anch.
"They
'r
egonnaki l
lmei nhereBetso.Pl
ease.I
am beggingyou.Justspeaktohim onmy
behal
f.Evenifhedoesn'tl
ist
en.Justtr
yandI'
ll
stopbotheri
ngyou",shebegssull
enly.
"Whydon'tyoucallhi
my oursel
f?"
,Iwas
somehowconv incedthatsheknewhi s
number sbyheart
.Thereisnowayt heint
ense
crushshehadonhi m didnotmotivat
eherto
studythem.
"Hewon'tl
i
stentome.Ifhehaditi
nhim he
woul
d'vegott
enmekill
edalongtimeago.
That
'showbadlyhehatesmerightnow"
"You'ref
ull
yawareofhowhefeel
sabouty
ou
buty outhi
nkIcansomehowperf
orm ami
racl
e?
Sis'Iam notamagici
an"
"
Iknowheli
stenst
oyou.Pl
ease.I
fIdiei
nhere
y
ouwon'tbeablet
oli
vewit
hyourself
.That
's
twol i
vesony oucouldn'
tsave",shesay swit
h
cert
ainty.Herheadisdefi
nitel
ynotscr ewedon
properlyonthoseskinnyshoulders.It
hrowmy
buttocksont hebedwithmyphoneagai nstmy
earasIt akeoffmyshoes.
"
Arey
oust
il
lther
e?"
"Whatdoyouwantmet osayLihle?You'r
e
untr
ustwor
thyandadangertothisfamily
.As
muchasIfeelfory
ourbaby,Ican'thel
pyou"
,I
sayandshekeepssil
ent
.
"
You'
regonnabeamot hersoon.I
magineify
ou
wer
etheonetrappedi
nhere?",
shetr
iestoguil
t-
t
ri
pme.
"Thatistheexactr easonwhyIam al aw-
abidingcit
izen.Wear enotthesame",Idef
end
andandIcoul dfeelitinhervoi
cethatshe'
s
runningoutoft acti
csandt heenergyrequi
red
forthem.
"
I'
vedoneal
otofbadt
hingsbutmybaby
deser
vesnoneoft
his"
,shesobs.
"
Avadeserv
ednoneofthet
wist
syou
i
ntr
oducedint
oherl
i
fe"
"
Ilov
edher
.Il
oveAv
a"
"I
fyoudid,y
ouwouldstoppesteringmeabout
herdadwhoalreadyhastoomucht odealwit
h,
i
ncludi
ngherbeinginhospi
tal
",Isai
dandtri
ed
togetofft
hephone.
"
WAI
T!"
,shescr
eamsandmyey
esr
oll
.
"
Isshehavingsei
zur
esagai
n?"
,sheaskswi
tha
v
oicelacedwit
hconcer
n.
"
Yes.Hassheal
way
shadt
hem?
"
"
Thel
astti
meshedidwas-
",shesay
sand
i
mmediat
elyst
ops.
"
Was?SpeakLi
hleIdon'
thav
eal
lday
"
"Look.Justt
ell
herdoctorsheoncecamei nto
contactwit
hbutisol
ifi
t'
sgoingtohelp.Don'
t
forgett
ospeaktoMuzi forme.Iam begging
y
ou.By
e."
"
Lihl
ewai
t!
",Ishoutf
oratt
enti
onandshedr
ops
t
hephoneonmyear .But
isol
?

Ithoughtaboutgoi
ngtothenetbutopt
edf
ora
callt
omywal kingandt
alki
ngmedical
dict
ionar
y.
"Bes.Takeyourinsuli
nshotsexactl
yhowI
descri
bedsoy ouandIdon' thavetoseeeach
other'
sfacesunlessifit
'snecessar
y.Goodby
e.
Chommi e?",
hef i
nall
yattendstomeaf t
er
makingmewai tforhi
mt obedonewi thhi
s
pati
ent.
"I
'
m notgonnat
akemuchofy
ourt
ime.Keeng
buti
sol
?"(
What'
sbut
isol
?)
"Whyareyouaski
ng?I
t'
saner
voussy
stem
depr
essant"
"
Huh?
"
"Look,
youknowwhatsedati
onisr
ight
?",he
asksasift
utor
ingahandi
capped7yearold.
"I
tisoneofthedrugsusedf
ort
hatpurpose"
,he
adds.Iwanttol
aughathowheexpl
ains.
"
Whywoul
d?Okayt
hank.Chatl
ater
",Isayi
na
r
ush
"Whoawhoawhoami ssy
.Whodoy
ouwantt
o
drug?
",heasksr
epr
ehensiv
ely
.
"
Nobody.Honest
ly.Chatl
ater
",Iassur
eandcut
t
hecal
l.It
hendialMuzibuthedoesn'tpi
ckup.

"
Pleasecall
meassoonasy oucan.Li
hlet
old
mesomet hi
ngv
erydi
stur
bing.I
t'
saboutAva.
"

Ipresssendandtakeoffmyear
ri
ngs.My
phoner i
ngsandIpicki
tupfr
om t
hebedwit
h
greatspeed.I
t'
sMabuyi.
"
Hey
",Ianswer
.
"Haveyoubeent al
ki
ngtoLihle!
?",
her
exasper
atedselfsneer
edthroughgri
tt
edt
eet
h,
almosti
nawhi sper.
"Where'sMuzi?",Ii
nvest
igat
e.Idonot
appreciat
ehi mlett
ingherknowaboutst
uffIt
ell
him speci
fical
ly
.
"
Iaskedyouaquest
ion.Hav
eyoubeent
alki
ng
t
othatb*
* *
*?"
"
Areyoust
il
lcomingtojoi
nmei nhereorhav
e
y
ouchangedyourmind?",
thatwoul
dbeMuzi's
v
oicepr
obabl
yyell
ingfr
om theensui
te.
"
Ngi
yezababakhe!
",shelovi
ngl
yyel
l
sback.If
elt
t
hebott
om ofmyhear tsi
tonanaggregat
eof
r
edcoal
s.
"Thi
sconver
sat
ionisnotover
",shehi
ssesback
andcutst
hecall
.Iam ut
ter
lyannoyedbyalot
ofthi
ngst
oday!
Igetupf rom thebedandoneear ringfal lst o
thefloor.Iscanf oritwi thmyey esandcan' t
seeit.Icouldn'tcar elessaboutpl ay i
nghi de
andseekwi thapi eceofj ewel
ler
y.Idon' tknow
i
fthei r
ritati
onthat '
sf i
ll
ingmyhear tisal so
aff
ect i
ngmyey esightbutwhat ever.Imakemy
wayt othecl osettochangemycl ot hesandsl i
p
i
ntomypy j
amas.It hengr absomef luffysocks
andawar m ni
ghtr obe.Foodhasdonenot hi
ng
tomeandmyst omachdeser v
esno
punishment .Ipickmyphoneupf rom t hebed
andheaddownst airs.

Iwar medupt hel ef

toverpi zzaandmadesome
rooibostea,
wi t
hmi l
k.Tumi 'sconsistentand
unerri
ngjudgmentov erthismi xtur
ehangsov er
myheadasIst irbutIcoul dn'tcarelessatthis
moment .Hisfinickyselfisnother eher etospil
l
i
tdownt hedr ainsoIwi llenjoymyr ooibos,with
milk.It
rytodistractmysel fwithYouTubev logs
andI nst
agram.Iwasj ustswit
chingbetween
thepausi nganddoubl etapswheni thi
tmet hat
may beIshouldalsostartaYouTubechannel
aftergi v
ingbir
th?Peoplearemaki ngmoneyby
j
ustput ti
ngthemselvesoutthereforpeopl
et o
wat ch, f
rom t
hecomf ortofthei
rownhomes.I
don'tseewhynot ?Iall
owt hethoughttofl
oat
aroundi nmyheadbef oreaWhat sApptext
from Mphat hidist
urbsme.

Hi
m:Nkosazana

Ireadi
tandfingersgethi
tbyabitof
uncert
aint
ybeforeIcanty
petoreply
.

Me:
Hi.
Themessageget
sinst
ant
lyv
iewedandhe
i
mmediatel
yst
art
stypi
ng.
Hi
m:Yougood?
Me:
I'
m okay
.Howar
eyou?
Hi
m:I
'
mfr
eezi
ng.
Him agai
n:Ifacert
ainmandidnoti
nsi
ston
hoggingtheloveofmyli
feI
'
dbecuddledup
andwar mrightnow.
Me:
What
?
Hi
m:What
?
Me:Lol
stopt
his.Ir
efuset
obel
i
evet
haty
ou'
re
si
ngl
e.
Hi
m:Notal
otofwomendeser
veme.

Her epl
iesandIl augh.ArgIam donefeeli
ng
guil
ty.Ican'tbesitti
nginthi
shousemopi ng
aroundbecausemyhusbandi swit
hhi swife
andI '
m herealone.There'snoharminlaughing
withaf r
iend.Theoppor tuni
typr
esent
edi t
self
andIam t akingit.Iputmyphoneont hefree
whitespaceoft hepl at eandpi ckupmydi nner
toheadt othelivi
ngr oom.Igett her eandt ur
n
ont heheat erthent het elev i
sion.Icontinueto
mul ti
taskbet weenmyf ood, Mphat hiandtheTV
screen.It henheart heki tchendoort ur
ning.The
smi l
e, t
hatIwascompl etelyunawar eof
disappear sasIslowl yst andt ogoseewhoi tis.
Itcan'tpossiblybeat hi
eft heywoul dn'
thav e
madei tpastBangi zwe.Orcoul dt hey?Istartto
feelmyhear tmyhear traceunt ilIseeNombi
walkingi nlookinglikeshewasaboutt otiptoe
herwayi ntothehouse.Idr opmychestduet o
reli
ef.Iam notr el
iev edt hatshe' sbackbutIam
reli
evedi t'
snotsomebodyel se.

"Wel
lwellwel
l
.Ifi
tisn'
tthepr
odigal
son"
,Isay
andcrossmyarmsonmychest .Sheal
most
fr
eezes.
"Ma'
am Iam sosor
ryI
-"
,shesayswi
thher
shoesi
nherhandsandpull
stheski
mpydress
downhercur
ves.She'
sev
enshi
ver
ing.
"
Areyounotcol d?Any t
hingcoul
d'
vehappened
t
oy ououtthere",Iaskandimmediat
elyfeel
the
i
ntent
ional
irri
tatedexpressi
ononmyf ace.
"
Iam.I
'
m sor
r-
"
"Just,j
ustgetyoursel
finhotwaterandsome
warm clothesplease"
,Imutterandlookaway.I
don'thavetheenergyforthi
s.Shequickl
ywalks
pastmeandIsi gh.Hopef
ull
y ,
ther
eisnogirl
in
thi
sbump.

.
..

Aft
erfi
nishi
ngupmydi nner,
Isomehowf ell
asl
eepont hecouchwaiti
ngforNombi t
omake
herwaydownstair
s,whichsheclear
lyneverdi
d.
Igotwokenupbyacal lfr
om Muzi.
"
Heybaby
",hesay
saf
terIpr
ess'
Answer
'.
"Heyhubby
",Ilowl
ysay
.Myv
oicei
sst
il
lheav
il
y
drapedi
nsleep.
"Bewul
eleyi
ni?Ngi
yaxoli
samommy "(Wer
eyou
alr
eadyasl
eep?I'
m sorr
y),hesincer
elywhi
sper
s
andIpati
ent
lygetupfrom thecouch.
"
It
'sokay
.Di
dyougetmymessage?
",Ienqui
re.
"Ngi
wubonamanje.Bengisabusy"
(I
'm onl
y
seei
ngitnow.Iwassti
ll
busy),hesaysandI
can'
thel
pbutshri
nkmyf ace.
"Busyf*
***
**Mabuyi
..
."
,ImumbleasIplacemy
dishesi
nthewashsi
nkbefor
eturni
ngthe
faucetf
orhotwat
er.
Her
eleasesashar
p"Huh?
"
"
Not
hing.How'
sAv
a?"
"Shehasbeendi schargedbutherdoct
orcan'
t
pinpointwhatexactl
yiswrongwithher.What
didLihlesay?"
"
Shesai
dsomet
hingaboutbut
isol
.Tumi
say
s
i
t'
sadr
ug.Asedat
ive"
"Whoaarey
outr
yingt
otel
lmet
hatLi
hlehas
beendr
uggi
ngAva?"
"Ithi
nkso.Herner
voussyst
em i
ssti
l
lprobabl
y
reacti
ngbadlyt
oit
.Idon'
tknowherr
easonsfor
druggingher
"
"Butfi
rst
,whyar
eyout
woev
ent
alki
ng?
",he
asks.Calml
y.
"I
'
vejusttoldyouwhat '
smakingthebabysi
ck
andyou'r
econcer nedaboutwhyI 'mtal
ki
ngto
Li
hle?"
,Istopwithr i
nsingthepl
ate,pl
acemy
handsonmet al
l
icedgeoft hesinkandwaitf
or
hi
mt oreply.Heex hales.
"I
'l
lbehomei naf ewdays.We'
l
ltal
kthen"
,he
saysandmywethandr emovesthephonefr
om
theear-shoul
dersuppor
tsoIcanfi
nishupwith
thedishes.
Iy
awnanddr agmyf eett
ot hebedroom af
terI
am done.Mphat
hicall
safterIpushthedoor
i
ntoit
sf r
ameanditassuresmet hatit
'scl
osed.
"
Hel
l
o?"
"
Hibeaut
if
ul"
"Beaut
if
ul?You'r
esocheesy"
,Isayandputhi
m
onloudspeakersoIcangetmysel
foutthe
heavynightgown.
"Beaut
if
ull
er"
,hesay
sandIl
aughasIgeti
n
betweenmysheets.
"Don'
tsayit.Don'
tsaywhatIknowy ouwantt
o
saynext.Pl
easedon'tsayi
t"
,Irepr
imandand
l
aughatt hesamet i
me.
"BEAUTIFULLEST"
,heexclai
mswithhi
schest
andIlaughharder
.Helaughstoo.
"
Icoul
dn'
tresi
st"
,headds.
"
Argy
ou'
reexcused"
"
Youhav
esuchabeaut
if
uli
nnocentl
aught
er.I
f
agewasdet
ermi
nedbygi
ggl
esy
ou'
dbe6"
"
What
?"
"
What
?"
"
Stopdoi
ngt
hat
!"
,Ipl
ayf
ull
yscol
d.
"Anyway,tomorrowy ou'
dandIgoingt othe
bookstore.Iam ti
redofthi
sgui
ltt
hat '
salways
sit
ti
ngatt hebackofmyheadr eadyt oremind
met hatIhaveadebtIneedt oset
tle.There'
sa
reasonwhyIdon' townanycredi
tcards",he
fi
rmlystates.
"
Mpha-
"
"
Notupfordi
scussion.Goodni
ght"
,andthat
,
t
hatwashim endi
ngthecall
.He'sso.
..ur
gh.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t92.
Tossingandt urning.Icouldn'tfi
ndtheright
posit
iontosleep.Ikeptt hinkingaboutthe
exchangebet weenMabuy iandI.ShouldIcal
l
herandapol ogize?Butwhatf or?Ididnotask
Lihl
etocallme.Inev erdid.ShecalledandI
happenedt ofindoutusef ul i
nformati
onf r
om
thatcal
l.I
fshet hinksI'mi ncahootswi t
hmy
husband'smadl ingext henshe' sj
ustasinsane
asthatjai
lbir
d.

SixhitandIwasst i
llawake.Itwaspoi nt l
ess
stayi
ngi nbedsoIgotupt oshower ,after
makingmybed.Ineededt odosomegr ocery
shoppingsoi tmadesenset odoitinthe
morning.Aftergett
ingwar mlydressedup, If
elt
myey esf or
cingtoshutthemselv es.Mybr ain
wantst obeawakebutev erymuscl einmybody
i
st i
red.Icli
mbedont othebedandpul ledt he
fl
eeceov erme.Ay oungnapwi l
ldo.
Myphonerangmi
nut
esaf
terIwasgone.I
twas
Bangi
zwe.
"Ma'am.Sisayaey i
tol
oor ?"(Arewest i
llgoingto
theshops?),heasked.He' snotav er
ypat ient
manI '
venoticed.Icompl etelyfor
gott olethim
knowt hatwewi l
lgol at
er.Hi spurposeis
dri
vingmear oundr egardlessofthef actthatI
i
nsistedtoMuzi thatIcandr i
vemy self
.
"Igotdef eat edbysleep.Iam sor r
y .Doy ouhave
plans?Idon' tthi
nkI'l
lbegoingoutt odaysoy ou
cant aket hewhol edayoff"
,Iinstructedandhe
soundedv erypleasedtohearwhatI 'v
ej ustsai
d
buttriedhi sbestt omaski taway .Ipulledmy
pil
lowandgotcomf ortabl
e,prepar i
ngt ogo
backt osl eep.Ev ery
bodyknowst hesat isfyi
ng
feeli
ngt hatcomeswi t
hf i
nal
lyshut ti
ngdown
afterarest l
essnight,especi
allyonacol d,
duskymor ning.
.
..

Acall
from Muzi
wokemepr eventedmefr
om
bei
ngconsumedbysleep.It
hinkIwoul
d'
ve
sl
eptfort
hewhole.
"
Heybaby
",Ianswer
edsl
eepi
l
y.Hel
aughed.
"Iknewyouweresti
ll
sleeping.Pleasewakeup
andeat",hesai
dandIweakl ylaughed.Iwas
honestl
ytir
ed.Mybodyfeltcrushed.
"Kel
apil
ebohlokoj
wang"
(Iam sot
ir
ed)
,I
complai
ned.
"Ngekeungal api
.Ulal
akanjanimini
yonke?"
(There'snowayy ouwouldn'tbeti
red.
Howdoy ousleepforthewholeday? )
,he
conti
nuedtolaughatme.Ij ustsuckedmyt eet
h
andlaughedaswel l
.
"
Pleasegoandeat.Stopst
arvi
ngmybabi
es"
,he
i
nstr
ucted.Isi
ghedandassur
edhi
mthatIam
headingdownst ai
rs.Hemademesweart hatI
real
lyam.Ilaughedandaskedi fhecoul dnot
hearmewal king.Weendedt hecallandI
noti
ced2mi ssedcal l
sfrom Mphathi.Hewas
probablycal
li
ngaboutt hebookshopi ssue.I
i
gnor edandkeptwal ki
ng.

Iheardwhist
lesonmywaydownt otheki t
chen.
Thechefisobv i
ouslyi
nagoodmood.I
appearedandhef l
ashedhisbri
ghteningsmi l
e.
Her ai
sedbothhisarmsintotheairtoindicat
e
thatIshoul
dcomef oranembr ace.Iblushed
mywayi ntohiswarm bodyandcov eredme
withhiswholeself
.
"
Whydi dn'
tyoutel
lmey ou'
recoming?
",I
r
eleasedamuf f
ledst
atement.Thecornerofmy
mouthwasagainsthi
schest .
"Sengi
fanel
engi
bikef
uthingi
memezeukut
hi
ngif
unaukubuyaendl
i
ny am?Kumfazi
wami?"(SoImustnowscr eam andal
ertwhenI
wanttocomebackt omyhouse?Tomyown
wif
e?),hecal
mlysaidwithoutashadowof
uncer
taint
yinhi
sv oi
ce.He'sinhisr
awandZulu
moment s.
"
It
'sgoodmanner
s",
Isayandl
augh.
Heheldmyshoul
der
sandgent
lypushedaway
f
rom hi
mtolookmeint
heeye.
"Ufi
hlenlaph'
endli
nungangifunikangakawee
MrsK? "(
Whatar eyouhidi
nginthishouse?)
,he
askedwi thasuspici
oussmil
eonhi sfacewhich
sparkedanunintenti
onall
aughterinme.
"
Lut
hohawu!
"(
Not
hing!
),Idef
endandchor
tl
e.
"
Mmm wena.
..
"
"I
thingi
yi
thol
eintoyakhona.Ngi
zoy
ikhi
pha
amazinyongespade"(Shoul
dIfi
ndit
,I'
m goi
ng
toknockitst
eethoutwithaspade)
,hejoki
ngl
y
saysandIlaugh.
"I
'
mj ustsay
ing.Youshoul
d'
vetol
dmey ou'
re
coming.Youwould'v
efoundmewideawake
waiti
ngforyou"
,Isayandcar
esshischi
n
coveredi
nat r
immedbush.
"Andwhere'sthefunint
hat?Imadey ou
breakf
ast"
,hesay sandpushest
hef r
uitsal
ad
bowl f
rom behindhi
m.Quitecol
orf
ul.

.
..

Isomehowmanagedt ogobackt osl eep.Ican'

t
resi
storfi
ghtsl
eeptheseday s,especiallyi
fI
havetoomucht oeat.Muzifeedsmeev erytwo
minutesnomatterhowmuchIv entabout
weightgai
n.Iwokeupandhewasn' ti nbedwi t
h
mel i
kehewaswhenIf el
lasl
eep.Thel i
ghtin
theroom wason.Istoodupy awningf rom the
bedandallowedmysl i
deintomysl ippers.I
checkedmyphoneandmyey eslandedona
messagef
rom Mphat
hi.
"
Arey
ouokay
?Ishehome?Textme"
Myhear tskippedt wowhenIr eali
zedthatMuzi
could'
v eseent hepopupoft hetext.Ial
sofel
t
l
ikemyphonewasn' tinthesameposi ti
onIhad
l
eftitin.Itcouldbepar anoiabutnoman.Why
am Icar ryi
ngsuchi mmensegui l
tli
keIslept
withthisman?Idel etedt hemessageand
walkedoutoft hebedr oom.Thedoort ohis
studywassl ightl
yopensoIknockedonceand
walkedi n.Hewasi nt hebal cony,onhisphone
withagl assofwhi skeyi nhislefthand.
"Idon'
tunderst
andwhyyoudi
dn'
tcometome?
",
hesoftl
ysaidandtookasi
p,wi
thhi
sback
faci
ngme.
"I
'm onlyhar
dony oubecauseIhat efeel
ing
helpl
esswheny ougetintotroubl
e.I'
vealways
fel
tlikeit
'smydutytoprotectyou.Eversince
youwer eborn.Pl
easecomebackhomenana"
"What'
sdoneisdoneThando.Noamountof
regr
etisgoi
ngt oputt
hebabybackinyour
tummy .Comehomesowecant al
kaboutthi
s",
hesaidandsighed.
"ForgetdadandManqoba.Yest hey
'r
e
disappoint
edbutIwillspeakt
othem.Tr
yand
maket hem seereason"
"
Arey
oust
il
lther
e?"
"
IbehavedthatwaybecauseIwasdi
sappoint
ed
t
oo.Isti
ll
am.Iam nevergoingt
oapplaudyou
f
ornonsensebuthavi
ngy ououtt
her
ei nt
he
wi
ldisnotwhatIwant"
"
YeahI
'
minJobur
g.I
'
llbooky
ouaf
li
ght
"
"
He'
sher
easwel
l
"
"Runningisnev
ergoingtosaveyou.I'
m pol
i
tel
y
openingthedoorforyou.WozaorelseI'
m
gonnaf i
ndyoueventual
lyandi
twon'tbecute"
"
Ihopey
ou'
renotwi
tht
hatboyf
orbot
hyour
sakes"
"
Shar
p.Il
ovey
ou"

Iwal
kedast houghIhadjustent
eredsoI
wouldn'
thavetogotocourtforeavesdroppi
ng.
Heturnedbackandfini
sheduphisdr i
nk.
"Heyyou.Sleepyhead"
,heaff
ecti
onatelysai
d.I
wentov ert
ohim andhemademest andinfront
ofhim sohecanhugmef r
om behind.Hethen
exhal
eddeepl y.
"
Arey
ouokay?"
,Iaskedaswewat
chedov
ert
he
l
i
tupnnei
ghbor
hood.
"Thandoranawayfrom homeandIhav eno
i
deawher esheis"
,hesai dandpl
acedhischi
n
onmyshoul derasIplacedmyhandsov erhi
s.
Hest i
l
lhadtheempt yglassinhi
shand.
"
Whydidsher
un?Can'
tyouuseherphonet
o
f
indher
?"
"Shel
efti
tathomeandshekeepsthr
owi
ng
awaysimcards.I
'
m gi
vi
ngher24hour
stomake
i
there"
"Baby
?",
Igent
lypl
acedonef
ooti
ntot
hel
i
on'
s
den.
"
Hm?
"
"Don'
tyouthi
nk.
..ifyouwer
emoregent
lewit
h
herthenshewould'v
erantoyouf
ir
stwhen
thi
ngswentlef
t?"
"Whatdoy oumean?"
,hesaidwit
hhischi
n
rai
sedfrom myshoul
der.I
tsoundedl
ikehehad
evenstoppedbr
eathi
ng.
"Thet woofy ouaresohar donhert obehonest
.
She'sgr owi
ng.Shewon' tbey ourbabygir
l
forever.Youneedtoall
owhert hespaceto
growbutst il
lprot
ectheratt hesamet i
me
otherwiseshe'ssti
ll
goingt of***upandrun"
,I
saidandhel etoutaheav ysigh.
"
Idon'
tknowBet
so.See,
Thandooncegotl
ost
whenshewas8.ManqobaandIwer esitt
ingin
thebacky ardandshewaspl ayi
ngar oundt he
yard.Wewer esupposedt obebaby sit
ti
ngbut
i
nst eadwepai dattentiontobeerandmusi c.
Thatt ime,thehighf encingathomehadn' tbeen
i
nst al
ledy etandgat eguar dshadthistendency
ofjustknocki ngof fbeforethenextoneonshi ft
couldar ri
ve.Soi fhewasl ate,t
hegat ewoul d
belef tunattended...
",heexplai
ningasIkept
noddi ngtoeachsent ence.
"It
hinkt hat'
swhenshemanagedt oopenitand
l
eav e.She'sgenerallyacur i
ousandnaught ykid
soIt hinkshehadi tplanned.Itwasn' tl
ongt i
l
l
herfriend'sparentsofbr oughtherback.They
l
ivedj ustaf ewhousesf rom our s.Wealmost
wentoutofourmi ndssear chedt hewholeyard
andwecoul dn'
tfi
ndher .Soev ersincethen,I
thi
nkwebot hdon'twantt ober ecklesswit
hher
i
nf eart hatsomethingmi ghthappen"
"
Iunder
standbuthowl
ongar
eyoupl
anni
ngt
o
dot hi
sfor?Shehastodatesomeoneatsome
point,
getmar r
ied,
havekids"
,Isayandt
urnmy
headt ofacehi
m.Hedr opsakissonmylips
andf r
owns.
"
Doesshehav
eto?
",heasksandIl
augh.
"
Yesshedoes"
"Onaseri
ousnot ethough,Ijustwantherto
comehomesowecanf i
xthismess",hesaid
andtookouthisvibrat
ingphonef r
om his
pocket
."M Queue"wascal l
ing.

"
Baf
o?"
"Yeahshecal
l
ed.WespokeandIt
hinkshe
underst
oodme"
"Aiangazii
khandalamili
yashi
sanami.Uthi
n
uMnt ungwa?"
(Idon'
tknow.Myheadisalsohot
),
hecont i
nuedtospeaktohisbrot
herwit
hhis
otherhandaroundme.
"
Vel
ek'
fanel
ebahl
awul
e"(
Ofcour
set
heyneed
t
opayup)
"Okaykulungi
lesi
zokhul
uma"(I
t'
sokaywe'l
l
talk)
.Theycutthecal
landheputthephone
backi nt
ohispocket
.Hegrabbedmya**and
nibbledonmyneck.
"
DadwantsdamagesforThando.Heal
so
want
stoper
for
m acleansi
ngrit
ualf
orher
",he
i
nfor
med.
"
Howdoy
ouf
eel
?"
"Idon'
tknow.If eelli
keImessedup.She
doesn'thav esisterssomay bei fIwasn'
tso
focusedonkeepi ngheri nthehouseand
concentratedongui dinghersosheknowshow
totakecar eofher self,wepr obablywouldn'
tbe
i
nt hi
smess.I '
m wor r
iedaboutheremot i
onal
andment alhealth.She'ssoy oungtohave
somet hi
ngl ikethissitonherconsci ence"
"
Youdi
dyourbestbaby
"
"Hopeful
lyshel i
stensandcomesbackhome.I
don'twantabr atforali
tt
lesi
ster.Whoev
en
taughthertheserunning-
away-fr
om-home
tacti
cs?"
"
Ithoughtwewer
emaki
ngpr
ogr
ess?
"
"Wearebutnohonestly
.UBabahasnevergiv
en
herahi
dingandIdon'tthi
nkheeverwi
ll
.Wear e
theonl
ypeopl
ewhoshoul d'v
eranawayfrom
homebecauseyey!
",hesaidandwelaughed.
"
WhydoIgett
hef
eel
i
ngy
ou'
reexagger
ati
ng?
"
"
Havey
ouev
erseenwhatasj
ambokl
ooks
l
i
ke?
"
"
Nobut
-"
"
Hav
eyouev
erhel
dandf
elti
t?"
"
Nobabybut
-"
"Thenthul
angobaawazlut
ho"(
Thenkeepqui
et
becauseyouknownothi
ng),
hesaidandwe
bothconti
nuedtol
augh.
.
..
DAYSLATER

Muzi,Manqoba, SabeloandsomeguyIdi dnot

knowwer edownst airswatchingsoccerov er
beer.Icouldheart heiroccasionall
oudcheer s
andexpl osivelaughterfr
om thebedr oom.
Yesterday,heaccompani edmet othedoctor
's
appointment .Ikeepexpect i
nghi mt obri
ngup
theLihleissuebuthedoesn' t
.Ipersonall
ydon't
knowwher et ostart
.Iwassi t
tingont hecentr
e
ofthebedwi thmyl aptoponmyt highs,r
eply
ing
toemai l
s.I'vedecidedthatI'
m gonnast art
workingpr operlyaft
erIgivebi r
th.Whyhas
Kgantshof orsakenme?

Hewalkedi
ntothebedroom withhi
snaught
y
boysmil
epastedonhisface.Icoul
dsti
l
lhear
theot
hersmakingnoisedownstair
s.Ikeptmy
eyesonhim andhedidthesamet i
llhecl
imbed
onthebedinhisgreysweatpant
s.
Hedi
dn'
tsaymuch.Het ookmyl apt
op,
closedit
andt
hengrabbedbymyl egsandmademef al
l
onmybedont hebed.
"
Baby!
",Il
aughedandscr
eamedatt
hesame
t
ime.
"
Thedoori
swi
deopen?
",Iadded.
"
So?
",hesai
dashesl
i
dmyunder
wearof
fofme.
"Gocloset
hed-
",Icoul
dn'
tfi
nishmysentence
befor
ehecoul
dst i
ckhi
swarmt onguei
ntome.
"
Youweresay
ing?
",hekepthi
sey
esonmet
he
whol
eti
me.
"
Buty
ouhav
evi
sit
orsnj
e"
"Iknow.I'
mj usther
et ohav
emyl unchand
l
eav e.Ist
hatokaywi t
hyou?",
hesaidand
continuedtodigint
omewi thhiswetmuscle.
"
Ookay"
,Imanagedtolowlyandweakl
ysayas
myheadledi
tsel
ftothetopofhi
shead.

.
..
Lat
eroni
ntheev
eni
ng

Icameoutoft heshowerandf oundhi m onthe

bed.Buriedinseeminglydeept houghtssince
hedidn'tevenseemeappr oach.It r
iedplayful
ly
star
tl
inghim andhej ustlookedatme, after
comingbackt oearth.Hel aughedandasked
mewhatI '
mt r
y i
ngtodo.Het henpul l
edmet o
comesi tom topofhisleftthigh,withmyl egs
hanginginbetweenhi s.
"
Arey
ouokay
?",
Iasked.Iwasconcer
ned.
"I
'
m okaybutI
'
m confused"
,hesai
dand
cont
inuedt
othink.
"
What
'sconf
usi
ngy
ou?
",Iaskedandhebi
thi
s
l
owerl
i
pint
hought
,thensi
ghed.
"Theti
meIwasi nKZN, theparki
ngl otat
Maloconcaughtfi
re.Lucki
ly,
onlytwocar swer
e
ther
esot hoseweretheonlyonest hecompany
hadtoreplace"
,hesaidandcontinuedt o
expl
ainwithabaffl
edfrownonhi sf ace.
"Now,Ijustr
eceivedacal lt
hattheoneinBl oem
alsocaughtfi
rebuti ntherecept
ionarea.Inow
haveenoughr easont obeli
eveit
'sar
sonbut
why ?Andwho' sresponsibl
eforit
?"

UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t93

Hest andsupandsay
sheneedstomakesome
cal
ls.Isitot
hebedwait
ingf
orhi
mtor et
urn.He
short
lycomesbackandcomestosquatinfr
ont
ofme.
“’
Ineedtogo”
,hesayswi
thcaut
ion.Ir
oll
my
eyesandremovehi
shandsfr
om thi
ghs.
“
BabyIknowIal
ways-”
,Iknewhewasgoingt
o
t
rybut
termewit
hexcusessoIr
aisedmyhand
t
ogethimtoabor
thismissi
on.
“Youalway shavet ogosomewher eorattendto
somet hingorsomebodyapar tfr
om me.When
am Iev ergoi
ngt ogetundivi
dedat tent
ionfrom
you?OrdoInotdeser veit?
!”,
Ivehement l
y
shootoutwi t
ht hestrengt
hofev erymuscl ein
myt hroat.Helooksatmewi t
ha‘ That’
snotf ai
r
l
ook’ pastedonhi sface.
“Honestly
.Ev ersincewegotmar ri
editis
alwaysonet hingifnottheother
.Iam sickof
i
t!”,
Iexpressbef oreIcanshovemyf ist
sunder
myar mpits,
myhandsacr ossmychest .He
getsupandcomest ositnextme,takemyhand
i
ntohiswar m ones.Att hi
spoint
,mycheeks
werealreadywet .
“Okokuqala,Iwil
lnothav eyour aiseyourv oi
ce
atme.Secondl y,Iam notblame- shif
ti
ngbutout
ofallthethi
ngsthathav ebeenhappeni ng,none
ofthem ismyf ault.Ihaven’
tbeenanawar di
ng
winninghusbandbutIam t r
ying.Iam st i
l
l
gett
ingthehangoft hispoly
gamyt hi
ng.You
neveraskedf ort
hisbutIdi dnott oo.Pl
ease
workwi thmeher e”,hecalmlysay sandIscof f.
“Thi
spolygamythi
ng?Doy ouevenl
oveme
Muzikayi
se?Haveyoueverlov
edme? ”
,Isay
andkeepmyey esonhim.Hef r
ownsin
conf
usion.
“
Nowwhati
sthemeani
ngoft
hat
?”
“I
t’
sav ali
dquest
ion.Di
dy oumarr
ymebecause
youlov
emeordi dy oumar r
ymebecauseyou
needmet ostayali
ve?”
,Iaskandtakemyhand
outofhis.
Hescof
fsi
ndi
sbel
i
ef.
“
Youoncesai
dyoudon’
thav
eadeat
hwi
shand
thatyou’renotinthemoodforsuici
dewhenI
askedi fyou’
rebreaki
ngupwi t
hme.This
statementspeaksv ol
umes”
, Iper
sisti
nmy
persuitforanswers.
“I
fitbot
heredyousomucht
henwhydi
dn’
tyou
askmet hen?”
“Pleaseputonsomewar m clot
hesit’
scoldin
thisroom”,headdedandIglancedathim
beforeIcouldst
andup.Iwentintothecloset
andcamebackwhenIwasdoneput ti
ngona
freshsetofwarm pyj
amas.
Heexhaledl
oudlyt
hroughhi
snosewhenI
dr
oppedmywei ghtonthebednextt
ohi
m.
Si
lence.
“Look,Iloveyouokay .Ialwayshave.Ev enasa
strangerIsti
l
l l
ovedyou.Mysoul r
ecogni zes
yourswi t
hthef ul
lapprovalofmyhear t.I’
m hurt
thatthehurdlesinourr el
ati
onshi
ppl acey ouin
thatstateofmind.Ifwehadbeenmar ri
edf ora
yearormor eandy oucompl ai
nedli
kethisI
woul dunderst
and.Yesourmar ri
agehadan
awf ul
lyr
oughandbadst ar
tbutthatdoesnot
meani t’
stheendofi t
”,hegoesonwi thhis
elbowsonhi skneesandhi sfi
ngerstangl
edup
i
noneanot her
.
“You’
regoodwit
hwor
dsbuty
ouract
ionsmean
somethi
ngelse”
“Andy ou’
recommit
tedtobeingstubborn.Gi
ve
met hechancetoprovemyselfbefor
eyou
discr
editmebasedoncatastrophesIhad
absolutel
ynocont
rolover
”
‘
Youhadcont r
olovergoingov erseasaft
erwe
hadjustgot t
enmar ri
edbeforey ouchose
somet hingelseinsteadofmel ikey oual
ways
do”,Istateandcont inuetolookaway ,wit
hmy
eyesfixedont hev elvet
ygreyheadboar d.
“Iwor
kthishardsomyf amil
ycanbe
comfort
able.Icoul
dn’
taff
ordtomessupt
hat
deal
.Pl
easegi
vemeabr
eak?
”
“Granted.PleasegetoutIwantt osleep”,I
commandbef oreget t
inginsidethesheet sand
pulli
ngthem abov emyheadt osl eep.Pulli
ng
them alongwi thhiswei ghtatthecor neroft he
bed.Hej ustsatt here,thenshor t
lygotupt o
kissmeonmyf orehead.Myey esremai ned
forceful
lyshutunt ilheleftandclosedt hedoor .
…

Thesi
nglemessagebeepf r
om myphone
demoli
shedtheli
tt
leofthel
ightsleepIhad
beentr
yingtosal
vage.Il
azi
lytookmyphone
andsquint
edatitwit
hasingleeye.
‘
Pleasecomehavebr
eakfastwi
thy
ourhusband
befor
eheleav
es.Ngi
yacel
a.”
Ireaditandsi
ghed.Imournedformylostsl
eep
asIdraggedmy sel
foutofbed.Iwoul
d’ve
appreciat
edsomerestextensi
onbutIal
so
want
edt
oseehim bef
orehel
eft
.Iwal
kedal
l
t
hewaydownst
air
sinmysocks.
“
Goodmor ni
ngbaby
”,hesai
dwhenIappear
ed
i
ntheki
tchen.
“Mor ni
ng,hubby
.”,
Isaidandcaref
ull
yplaced
my selfont
opofthebarstool.Hepushedthe
plateofeggsandf r
iedbaconinmydirect
ion.
“Bonappetit
”.Hesoftl
ysai
dandgr abbedaseat.
Hehel pedhi
mselftothebowl ofgrapeshehad
placedonthetable.I
’
venoti
cedt hatheisnota
verybigfanofbreakf
astwheni ti
st ooearl
yin
themor ni
ng.He’
dmost lyr
atherhav eafrui
t.
“Inol
ongereateggs.Wel
lfornow.Theymake
menauseous.Youwouldknowt hi
sifyouhad
ti
meforme”,Ifl
atl
ysaidandpushedtheplate
backt
ohim.Hedr oppedhisfaceandsighed.
“Ihat
eitwhenwef i
ght
.Canwenot ?Pl
ease?I
am sorr
yIhaven’
t-
”,
myringi
ngphonehindered
thecomplet
ionofhi
ssentence.It
ookaquick
gl
anceati
tandplacedi
ttur
neditscr
eendown.
Thatwasmyfi
rstimmediat
einst
inct
.

Her
aisedhi
sbr
owandf
ixedhi
sey
esonme.
“Ar
en’ty
ougonnaanswert hat
?”,
heinqui
red
wit
honeuncrushedgraperest
ingonthe
sur
faceofhi
sloweredtongue.
“I
t’
snoti mport
ant
”,Isai
dandtookasipoft
he
orangejuicet
hatwasinnocent
lypl
acedont
he
counter
.
Thephoner angagai nandmyner vestookint
o
roughandgr at
ingtraveldownanimpat i
ent
sli
de.IdecidedIshoul djustanswer.Somethi
ng
i
nmedoesnotwantMuzi f
indi
ngoutthatI
speakt oMphat hi.Somet hi
ngequall
yelse
l
owkeyenj oy sspeakingtohi m.WhenIturned
thescreen,itreportedthatitwasThando
call
ing.Myhear twasr eli
eved.
“
HiThando”
,Imadesur
etost
atewhoIwas
speakingto.Shear
ri
veddaysagoandnow
she’
ssl eepi
ngatMabuyi
’shousebecausethe
meetingbetweenherandherbrot
hersendedon
asournot e.
“I
shet her
e?Ineedt
ospeakt
oyou’,
she
soundedli
kesomebodywhohadbeenr
ecent
ly
cry
ing.
“
Yeah.What
’swr
ong?
”,Iaskedandshesni
ff
ed.
“
I’
ll
cal
lyoul
ater
.By
e”,
shesai
dandcutt
hecal
l
.
“Youknewdidn’
tyou?
”,heasked,
wit
hhi
sbey
es
sti
ll
fixedonme.
“
Whatar
eyou-
”
“St
opi tt
hisi
nstantbecauseyouknowexactly
whatIam tal
kingabout.Thepregnancy,
the
abort
ion.Youknewandy oudi
dnottell
me? !
”
“
Itwasn’
tmypl
acet
o-”
,It
ri
edexpl
aini
ng.
“Ent
li
kwenanomaniyaf
ana.You’
rebot
h
secr
eti
veasf
***f
ornoreason!
”(
You’
reno
di
fferentt
omymot her)
,hesnappedbefor
ehe
couldgetofft
hechairt
owalkupstai
rs.
“
Muzi
I-”
“Saveit
!”
,histopl
esssel
fwalkedupthestai
rs
andneverlookedback.Whatwasheexpecting
met odo?Spillhi
sli
tt
lesi
ster
’ssecr
etsshe
trust
edmet okeep?
…

Hecamebackandf oundmewat chi

ngTVwit
h
athrowonmyelevatedfeet,onmyphone.Hi
s
scenti
mmediat
elyfi
ll
edther oom.Hetel
l
sme
he’
sleavi
ngandtr
iestoki ssmychinandI
ret
ract
.Hesi
ghsimpatiently
.
“You’
rehonest
lyl
eav
ingwhenyoucanj
ustsend
someonetooverl
ookall
ofthi
s?”
“
Youknowverywel
lthatIbel
i
eveindoi
ng
t
hingsmy
sel
f.Someoneisoutther
etry
ingt
o
sabotagemeandIwon’ trestuntlIf
indoutwho
thehellitis.Ihavetoputast optothiscrap
befor
ei tget stoofar
”,hesaysandst ruggles
witht
aki nghi sphoneoutofhi spocketbecause
hehadhi smi nispor
tsbaginhisotherhand.
“
It
’sfor
ensics”,
hesay
sandt
urnst
oleav
e.He
r
eall
yisleavi
ng…
…

2day
slat
er.
IwatchedMuzigoingonandof fWhatsApp.We
hadanotherf
ightoverthephone.Iwant
edto
texthi
m butMphathicall
ed.
“
Hey
”
“
Arey
ousti
llcomingorshoul
dIgobackhome
t
omyFIFA?
”, hesay
sandIlaugh.
“
I’
minthecar.I
’m onmyway ”
,Isayandopen
t
hedoor.Theunderest
imat
edthecoldfr
ont.I
t’
s
unbearabl
e.Ipull
edthebr owncoatIhadplaced
onthepassengerseat,lockthecarandwalk
towardsthecoffeeshop.Icouldtel
lfr
om
outsi
dethatitwasmoder atel
yful
l.Icoul
deven
seehim athi
st abl
e,onhisphone.
Hegotupt
ohugmeanddamnhesmel
tgood.
“Fi
nall
y”,hewhisper
sintomyear.Il
aughand
breakthehug.Ithentakeaseatandawait
ress
approachesus.
“FI
FA?Reall
y?”
,ImockasIt
akemycoatof
fand
helaughs.I
twaspr
ett
ywarmint
heshop.
“
Likehowol
dar
eyou?
”,Icont
inuet
omock.
“32.I
st hereapr obl
em? ”,
hesay switha
confi
dentsmugsmi leonhi sface.Ishakemy
head.Thewai t
resscouldn’
tresistl
aughing.
Light
ly.Herpenwasr eadytotakeouror deron
hermini notebook.
“
Whatwi
ll
youbehavi
ng?”,
sheaddr
essesme
wi
tht
hesweet
estsmi
le.
“Uhm…”
,Isayt
houghtf
ull
ywhi
l
escanni
ngt
he
A4lami
natedmenu.
“
I’
ll
haveadecafpl
ease”
,Ifi
nal
l
ysayand
Mphat
hiaddswi
th“Maketwoofthose”
.
“Twooo…de…cafsss”
,shesay
swhi
l
ejot
ti
ng
downandwalksaway.
“
Andshefi
nall
yagr
eedtocometoadat
ewi
th
me”
,hesaysandIqui
ckl
ycor
rect
.
“Uhuhuh.Weagr
eedthatt
hisi
sjustacof
fee
datebet
weenf
ri
ends”
“Butthat’
swhatIsaid”,
hesayswiththatsneaky
smileonhisphone.Idecidetostudythemenu
somemor eandignorehim.Helaughsandi t
fadesslowlywhenhisphoner i
ngsont hetabl
e.
“Pl
easeexcuseme”,
hesay
sandgoestotakeit
out
side.It
akeoutmyownphoneandgoonto
Whatsapp.
Tumi
:Whyar
eyousuddenl
yal
lqui
et?Donot
t
ell
mey
ouwentt
her
e?
Me:Whati
fIdi
d?I
tisj
ustani
nnocentcof
fee
dat
e
Him:Pleasegetoutoftherebef
oreMuzikill
s
youboth.Ihaveexhaustedmytearsonthat
sli
memoul dofaman.Iwon’ tbeabletocryfor
you.Doy ouwantpeopletosayIneverl
oved
you?
Ir
eadhist
extandr
epl
ywi
that
ruckl
oadof
l
aughi
ngemoji
es.
Hi
m agai
n:Andbesides,
Idon’
thaveanout
fi
t
f
oryourf
uneral
.Iti
snotyetmonthend.
Iraisemyheadt ot heoutsidewhenIf eeleyes
onme.If eeleyesonme.If eelwatched.Inever
feel watchedunlessifsomebodyi sindeed
wat chingme.Iqui cklytur
nbackandscant he
place.Ev er
yonether ewasconv ersingand
mi ndingtheirownbusi ness.Thewai tr
ess
comesbackwi t
hat r
ayofouror derandIgiv e
herananxioussmile.Icoul
dseeMphat hi
outsi
desti
llonthephoneandev enusinghand
gestur
es.Hewasi nvestedi
nthatcal
l.Mustbe
i
mpor t
ant.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t94

Theanxietyofwai t
ingandwantingMphat hit
o
bedonewi thhiscallsohecouldcomeback.A
thoughtofcal
lingMuzi t
oalerthimvi
sitedmy
mindbutIcouldn’texactl
yruntohim solel
y
basedonahunch.Al so,
howam Igoingt o
explainmybeingher e?Mphathicameback
rubbinghi
sappar entl
ycoldhands.
“Youokay
?”,hei
nqui
redashepl
acedhi
msel
f
backonhischai
racr
ossme.
“
Yeah.YeahI
’
mfi
ne”
,It
ri
edt
oconv
incebuthe
keptadubi
ousl
ookonme,
thent
ookasi
pfr
om
hiscup.
“Okaythen.Whatdi
dImi ssapar
tfr
om y
ou
steal
i
ngmycof fee?
” ,
hesaysandanimmedi
ate
l
aughescapesmyl ips.
“
Excusemewhat
?”,
Isaydef
ensi
vel
y,st
il
l
l
aughi
ng.
“
Look,there’sli
psti
ckher e”,hesaysandpoi nt
s
t
ohisspot lesscup.Ilaughhar derandsuckmy
t
eet
hi nsteadofenter t
aininghisprovocati
ons.
Hethenpl aceshiselbowsont hetabletop,
t
empleshi sf i
nger
stoget herandst ar
es.
“Hawu.What?”
,Iaskandsi
ponmydecaf
.He
clear
lyhadsomethi
ngonhi
smind.
“Youdon’tstri
kemeasawomanwhowoul d
sett
leforsecondbestsoI
’
m-”,
hesay
sandIr ol
l
myey es.Placi
ngmycupbackont
hesaucer
andtheyclick.
“
Nohonest
lyl
i
sten.Iam i
ntr
iguedbyt
his
marriage.Whyareyouwit
hhi m?It
struthhour
.
Thisisasafespace.I
sitthemoney?”
, he
beginssoundi
ngl i
kether
apistandIl
augh.
“
Wel
l…”
,Isayandcir
clet
heedgeoft
hecupwi
th
t
het
ipofmyfinger
.
“
Iti
ssaidthatubuhlebendodazi
nkomozayoso
t
hatalsowouldn’
tthatappal
li
ngifi
twasthe
r
eason”,Ij
oki
nglysayandhuffsoutal
augh.
“Thatstat
ementhaspr ogressi
velybeentaken
outofcontextovertheyears.Tr
ustmewhenI
sayitdoesn’
tmeanwhaty outhinkitmeans”,
hesay sandconfi
dentlyfal
lsbackont he
backrestofhi
swoodenchai r
.Thecafehasa
vint
age,peacef
ulfeeltoit.
“Thenwhatdoesi
tmean?Educat
eme”
,It
il
tmy
headtosi
de.
“Wel
l,
mi’l
ady…Backi
ntheoldendays,asaboy,
Iwoul
dreceiv
eacowfrom myfatherasatoken
ofhi
m accept
ingmei
nmanhoodorr at
her
youngadult
hood.Theydidn’
thav ethese21st
thi
ngsthentosymbolizesuchthings””
,he
explai
nsandIbeginl
isteni
ngattenti
velyi
n
sil
ence.
“So,t
hemor eheseest hatI’
mt aki
ngcar eofthe
fi
rstone,themor ehewoul dkeepgi vi
ngmean
i
ncreaseinl i
vest
ock.Themor eli
vestockIhav e,
themor eresponsibl
eIwoul dbeper ceivedtobe.
Andar esponsibl
emanwassai dtobeat t
ract
ive.
That’
swher ethe“Ubuhl ebendondazi nkomo
zayo”phrasewascoi ned”,heelaboratesandI
nodrepetiti
vel
y.
“
Int
erest
ing.ButIwasobv
iousl
yjustki
ddi
ng”
“
Soy oulovethi
snigga?
”,hesaysasi
fIj
ust
l
eakedinfor
mationaboutasoon-
comi
ngali
en
i
nvasion.
“
Whyisitsohardtobeli
eve?
”,Ishr
ugandkeep
myshoul
derssuspended.
“
HECTI
C!”
“NoIhav etorespecthi
sd***gamebecauseit
can’tbeloveandattent
ion”
,hesay
sandIblush.
Unintent
ional
ly.
“
Soi
tis?
”
“
Inev
ersai
dthat
”,Idef
endandl
ookaway
.
“Wellt
her e’
sabsolut
elynoreasonf oryouto
staywithhim becauseI’
m pret
tysur eIhavethe
samesi zewalletashim andIprobablylaythe
pipebetter.Pl
us,Iam completelysingl
e.In
everysenseoft heword”
“Youcanhav eallofthatandstillnotbehi
m.
Plus,you’
rearrogantwena”,Istateandhe
placeshispalm againstt
heleftsideofhis
chestasifIjustshotasharpar rowintohi
s
heartandsay s“Ouch!Thathurt”,hesaysandI
l
augh.
“Honest
ly.He’
shumbl
e.Wel
l,mostofthet
ime”
,
Isayandheshakeshi
swhil
eswall
owinghis
bever
age.
“YOU, ar
eafraidofchange.You’
v egottenused
tothismonot onousdisr
espectthatyounow
enjoyit”
,hesay sandIthi
nmyey esathim.I
hadbeeni gnoringthepl
eaforreli
effrom my
bladderbutitwasgr owi
ngimpat i
ent.Iaskedt
o
beexcused.
“You’l
lfi
ndmeri
ghther
e”,
hesayswit
hagentle
smileandpul
l
shisphoneoutf
rom hi
spocket
.
Iwalktowar dst hedir
ecti
onoft hel avatoryand
thatfeeli
ngt hat’
salwayssuccessf ul i
n
spookingmyanxi etycomesback.Ii nhaleand
keepwal king.Itakeacornerintoadi mmed
passageandi mmedi at
elydecidet hatIcan’ t
walkalltheway .Theirli
ghtwashangi ngf r
om
theceili
ngsoIf i
gureditwasbei ngmai ntained.
Atthispoint,myner vesweresupersensi ti
ve.If
asimpl efl
ywer et osurmountmyski nI ’dmost
probablyscream.Iwentbackt ot het ableand
tol
dMphat hithatIhavetoleave.Hi sf acial
expressionwassomewher ebet weenconf used
anddisappoi
nted.It
ookmycoatandhandbag
thenlef
tthepl
ace.Hefol
lowedmeoutsideand
turnedmewithmyshoulderst
olookathim.
“Whathappenedi nthel
oo?Youweren’tev
en
goneforthatlong”,
hesaysandIr
eleasea
heavybreath.
“
Ithi
nksomeoneiswat
chi
ngme”,Isayand
r
emov ehi
shandsfr
om myshoul
der
s.
“What?Whocouldpossi
bly
…”,hesaysand
fr
ownsasi fhal
fofal
lmyscrewsarelooseand
unst
able.
”Ial
waysknowwhensomeonei swat
chingme
MphathiIam notcrazy
.It
’sj
ustapsychi
cthi
ng
Ihappentohave!”
“Inev
ersaidyou’
recr
azy.I
’
mjust
…AhIknow.
Yourhusband”,
hesaysanddr
opshi
shandsas
i
fbored.
“
What
?No.Muzi
isnowher
eher
e”
“Asalway
sy esbuthecoul
dsendotherpeopl
e
todohisdir
tyworkforhi
m”,hesay
swi t
hrigi
d
suret
y.
“Muziwoul
dneverdothat
.There’
snogood
reasonf
orhi
mto.Anyway,Ineedtogethome”
,
Isayandat
tempttowalkaway.Hequickl
y
grabsmebymyar m.
“Ican’tl
etyoudriv
eawaywher easwedon’t
knowwhoexact l
yisfoll
owingy ou.Whati
fyou
fi
ndt hem wait
ingforyouinyourdr i
ve-
wayor
somet hi
ng?”,hesaysandcr eepedoutshiv
ers
rushdownmyspi ne.
“I
t’
sf i
ne.I
’l
lcal
l myhusbandhewi l
lknowwhat
todo”,Isayandt akeoutmyphone.Iwas
hoping.Mphathibiteshisupperl
ipandplaces
hishandsonhi swai sti
mpatient
ly.
“GohomeMphat hi
”,IsayasIdi
al Muzi
’s
numberandplacethephoneagainstmyear.
Thephoneri
ngsandi snotat
tendedto.Il
ookat
t
hescr
eenandMphat
hisay
s“And?
!”
“
He’snotansweri
ng”,
Isayanddr
opt
hehand
wi
ththephoneinit
.
“Whyam Inotsur
pri
sed?Givemeyourcar
key
s”,hesaysandholdsouthi
shand.
“
Why
?”,
Isayandl
ookathi
mtoanswer
.
“You’ recomingwi thmeunt i
lIfi
ndoutwho
exact lyi
slookingt ohar assy ou.Just…Gi vethe
key s”,hesaysandIdoubt ful
lyplacet hem inhi
s
hand.Het akesmyhandandwewal kt omycar .
Ar andom t houghtabouthowi twoul dn’tsobad
tobei narelat
ionshi pwi t
hhi mjumpsi ntomy
headandIsquashi timmedi ately
,thesameway
onewoul dsquashr andom mor al
ly-
il
lici
t
thought sinchur ch.Hepul lsthepassengerseat
openf ormeaf terunlockingi tandIgeti t.It
ry
callingMuzi againbuti tcont i
nuest or i
ng
unat tended.
“
Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?Whatabouty
ourcar
?”,
I
askasher
ever
sesoutoft
hepar
kingspot
.
“Don’
tworr
yaboutmycar.Il
luberbackand
cometakeit
.We’regoi
ngtomypl ace”
,hesays
andIimmediat
elyst
andagainstt
hatdeci
sion.
“Ican’
tgot oyourpl
ace.Thanky
oufory
our
supportbutpleaset
akemehome” ,
Icommand
andhesi ghs.
“
Yousur
e?”
,hesay
sandt
akesagl
anceatme.
“Posit
ive.Takemehome”.Isayandhesi
ghs
again.Heavi
lythi
sti
me.
“
Okaycool
.Punchi
nthecoor
dinat
es”
…
Whenwegett
omyhouse….
“Yousai
dy oucoul
dfi
ndmyst
alker
?Youcan
parkher
eit
’sokay”
“Iam notl
eavi
ngy ouhereBetso.Idi
dsayIcan
fi
ndthem andthatiswhatI’
lldo.They
’ve
probabl
ytappedintoyourphoneorsomet hi
ng
stupid.Ij
ustneedtofindtheirt
echni
cal
footpri
ntthenwe’l
ltakeitfr
om ther
e”,hesay
s
andhandl esther
emot etomygat etoopenit.
“Youcandot
hat
?”,
Iaskandhepacksi
nthe
dri
veway.
“Sur eIcan.Ij ustastronginternetconnection,a
l
apt opandy ourcell
phone”,hesay sand
unbuckl esthesafetybelt
.Ialsomakemyway
outoft hecarandwewal kt ot hehouse.Ill
wai t
here, hesay swhenwegett ot hekit
chen.I
quickl ymakemywayupst airst ofetchmy
l
apt op.Ir ushbackdownst airsandt ell
himt o
foll
owmet otheliv
ingroom becauset heWi Fi
strengt hismor econv eni
entt here.Wegett here
andIhandi ttohim asIsatt ohisr i
ght.He
startst ypingandhi sfi
ngerswer esur eashel l
runni ngl i
keSonictheHedgehogont hat
key boar d.
“
Phone”
,hesaidandst
retchedouthi
slefthand
f
ormetoplaceitt
her
e.Igaveitt
ohim and
anxi
ouslysatont
opofmyhands.Whati
f
Mbeloisbacktogethi
srev
enge?
“
Areyouokay?
”,hesai
daf
tert
aki
ngaqui
ck
wor
ri
edlookatme.
“YeahI
’mfi
ne.Wouldyouli
kesomethi
ngt
o
dri
nk?Cof
fee?Tea?Hotchocol
ate?
”
“Cof
feewill
dothanks.Black.Nosugar
”,he
kepthisey
esonthescr eenandUsainBolt
en
fi
ngersonthekeyboar
d.
Istoodupandwentt othekitchen.Ifocusedon
mybusi nesswi t
ht hecoffeemachi neandhe
didt hesamewi ththelaptop.Icouldheart he
key boardtapsf r
om t hekit
chen.Itookoutabox
ofCheer i
ost osnackon.Iwal kedbackt othe
l
ivingr oom andhehadst oppedt yping.Hehad
hisl oosefistagainsthismout handhi sother
handunderhi sarmpi t,
stari
ngatt hescreen
withcar efulconsiderat
ion.
“
Nowt
hisi
sst
range…”
,hesay
sandt
urnst
o
l
ookatme.
“Whati
s?”
,Isayandhandhi
mthecof
feemug,
car
eful
nottospi
ll
.
“Thanks.Ther e’
snot hing.Thesekindofpeople
areal waysboundt osl i
pupsomewher e.Unless
i
ft heyfollowedy oufrom heretothecaf e.I
f
that’
st hecaset heny ou’r
emostlikelytobe
dealingwi thaninexper i
encedamat eur”
,hesays
andIt akeasi t,
dippingmyhandi nt othebox
andl ookingatthescr een.
“
Arey
ousur
eyou-
”,headdsandIsnap.
“YesMphathi
!I’
vealway sbeenli
kethi
sever
sinceIwaschi
ld!Inevermiss!”
,Isayandfr
own
athim.Hethenreleaseshisbott
om li
pfr
om the
ti
ghtgri
pofhisteeth.
“
Okay
.Ibel
i
evey
ou”
“
May bet
hey’r
ejustgoodatcov
eri
ngtheir
t
racks…”
,Isayandchewonmydr ycereal
.
“Noways.I’
vebeendoingthi
sf orYEARS.No
onecanhidethei
rfoot
pri
ntsont henetfrom
me”,hesaysandtakesasipfrom hiscup.
“Oh?Andby“ thi
s”youmean? ”
,Iaskandhe
keepshisconcentr
ati
onont hescreen.Hethen
quickl
yplacedthecupont hecof
feetablel
i
ke
hewashav i
ngsomeeur ekamomentandsl owl
y
says“Waitami nut
e…”,hesaysandcomest o
sitbackproperl
yonthecouch.
“Doy ouknowt hi
snumber?”,
hesaysandt ur
ns
thescr eent
omet oshowmet hehy
perl
inkof
whatl ookedl
ikeacel
lphonenumber.Il
ook
closelyandshakemyhead.
Hetakesmephoneandf i
ndsthati
thas
l
ockedditsel
fagainandasksmet ounl
ockit
.I
qui
cklydothatandhedi al
st henumberont
omy
phone.I
twasn’tsaved.Het hencal
lsi
tandputs
i
tonspeaker.
“
Thesubscr
ibery
ouhav
edi
all
edi
snot
av
ail
abl
e”
“
Dammit!
”,heshoot
soutandgoesbackt
o
t
ypi
ng.
“
Whatarey
oudoi
ngnow?
”,Iaskandgetcl
oser
t
osee.
“Try
ingt oseeifthisnumberi sat t
achedtoany
socialmedi aaccount”,hesay sandkeepshis
eyesfixatedont hescreen.Af t
eraf ewminut
es
l
esst han5, heturnsthescr eentowardsmeand
says“Doy ouknowt hisnigga?”,hesaysandI
squintatthesmal lInstagram prof
il
epict
ure.
“I
sn’tt
hereamoreclear
erpict
ure?”,IaskasI
tr
yt omakesenseofthevaguepicturesincet
he
personshotasel
fi
eofthemselflookingaway.
“Nope.Itdoesn’
tlooklikeanact i
veaccount.Let
mezoom i t.I
twill
bev eryblurr
ybutmay beit
willmakedo”,hesay sanddoesexactlythat.I
studythepict
ureev enmor ethennoti
ceat att
oo
atthebackofhi sneck.
“Thistat
too…”
,Isayandbegi
nrunni
ngoutof
breath.
“Soyouknowhi
m?”
,hesay
sandst
udi
est
he
pict
urewi
thme.
“
Yest
hisi
sMbel
o!”
,Isayandputmyhandon
mymouth.
“Daf
uqist
hat?
!”,
hesay
sandpl
acest
hel
apt
op
onthecof
feet
able.
“Someguywhowasoncest alki
ngmeohmy
God!!
” ”
,Isayanddr opmychin.Thi
sisallt
oo
muchf orme.Al lt
hememor i
escamet umbling
backandf loodedmybrain,i
ncludi
ngthoseof
thekidnappingbythatf
il
thyMbuso!Iwipemy
tear
sandt rytogetmybr eat
hingontr
ack.
“Heyit
’sokay.I’
m her
e.He’ll
havetoget
thr
oughmef irstbef
orehecangett oyou”
,he
soft
lysaysandmov esclosertohugme.He
ti
ghtl
yholdont omewi thi
sonehandunder
mineont het
opandt heotheronthesmallof
myback.Iam i
nconsol
abl
e.
“You’
rebreaki
ngmyhear
tcomeon…”
,hepl
eads
andIsnif
ftryi
ngt
ogetagri
p.
“Nowt hisiscozy…”,afamil
iarmascul
inev oi
ce
saysfrom theentrancearchoftheli
vi
ngr oom.I
i
mmedi atel
yletgoofMphat hiandqui
cklywipe
myt ears.Crap!
!!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t95

Myheartwasr acingbackandfort
hinmychest
somucht hattheskinaroundmyforehead
beganit
ching.Mphathiturnedt
owardshim and
whisper
ed“ You’
renotsupposedtobehere”.
What?
Muzi
’
sst
rai
ghtf
aceshr
unki
ntoaf
ier
cef
rown.
“
Andwhatt
hehel
lar
eyoudoi
ngher
e?!
”,heshot
outandti
lt
edhi
sfacewai
ti
ngf
orMphat
hit
o
answer.
“
Thet
woofy ouknoweachot
her
?”,
Iaskedas
myey
esdancedbetweent
hetwoofthem.
Mphat
hirel
axedhisbody,droppedhischest
andst
oodup.Het henrubbedhishandsonthe
j
eanmateri
althatcov
eredhisthighs.
“Hioldfr
iend”,
Mphat hisai
dwiththatsneaky
smileofhis.Usual
ly
,itwouldlookinnocentand
harmlessbutatthatpoint,
itl
ookedcreepy,
cunningandcalcul
ating.
“Ungi
hlahl
elaamehlo.Iaskedy
ouadamn
quest
ion”,
Muzi cal
mlyasked.
“Whatam Idoinghere?Youhadtopayatsome
poi
nt,oryouthoughtother
wise?
”,hesay
sand
walkstowardshim.
“Soy outhoughtset
ti
ngmybuildi
ngsali
ghtand
sleepingwit
hmypr egnantwi
fewouldachi
eve
thatforyou?”,
hescoffed.
“Cansomebodypl easeexpl
ai-
”,myemot i
onal
selfl
owlyaskedandMphat hisnappedsayi
ngI
shouldstayoutofit
.
“Youdon’tgettospeaktoherlikethat
.Awusho,
aft
erallt
hesedonkeyy ears,y
ou’resti
l
l
delusi
onalnamanje?”
,Muzi asksandwal ks
towardsthestandwithhiswhiskeyoni t
.
“Youowemey ousonofb* **!Iam sickand
ti
redofy oupretendi
ngl i
keyoudon’ tknowt his.
You’vehurtmeMuzi kayi
seandIwi l
l never
forgi
vey ou”
,her ant
sandMuzi pourshi mselfa
shotandgul psitdown.Hebr ief
lyshrinkshis
face,gri
tshisteethandstret
chedhi sl i
pswhen
thepotenttastepassesdownhi sthroat.Icould
actuall
yseehisAdam’ sappl
emov ingupand
downasheswal l
owed.
Hethenwal
kedtowardst
hecouchacrossus
wit
hhisempt
yglassandsathi
mselft
here,
bal
anci
nghi
selbowsonhisknees.
“Hurtyou?Youdon’tsay.Whichpart?
”,hesays
wit
houtmaki ngeyecontact
,rotat
ingthe
whiskeyglassinhi
shands.Whatonear this
goingonher e?Mphathi
wasst i
llonhisfeet
.
“Youruinedmyl i
feyoupi
eceofsh* *!
”,Mphathi
spit
swi thgreatv
ehemence, wit
hhisindex
fi
ngerpoi nt
edoutatMuzi.Idon’tl
i
ket helooki
n
hiseyes.Theiremoti
onal
st atesar
epol ar
oppositesanditseemsMuzi ’
scalm aggravat
ed
Mphat hievenmore.
“Iam wai
ti
ngfort
hepartwher
ey ousayyou
askedfori
t”
,Muzisay
sandraiseshi
seyesat
him.
“You’reapi
eceoffi
lthyouknowt hat?
”,Mphat
hi
hisses.Muzil
aughsandlooksaway .Wit
hin
whatcouldeasil
ybemistakenlyesti
matedas
thespeedofli
ght,Mphathial
readyhadagun
pointedoutt
oMuzi .
“
Mphat
hipl
easedon’
tIam beggi
ng-
!”
,Ibegi
n
pl
eadi
ngwi
thhi
m
‘
SHUTUP!Thishasnothi
ngtodowithyou!”
,he
say
sandIgetonmyknees.Muzi st
il
lhel
donto
hi
scal
m andcol
dstateofface.
“Betsogetupfr
om t
her
e…”
,Muzii
nst
ructwhi
l
e
hiseyesarel
ockedi
nMphathi
’
s.
“Pl
easeputthegundownwhatev
erthetwoof
you-
”,It
rypl
eadingwi
thhi
m andheshif
tsthe
gunfrom Muzit
ome.
“Youwoul
dn’
tdare”,
MuzisaysandMphathi
thr
owshisey
estohim butt
hedirect
ionoft
he
gunremai
nstowardsme.
“Whatareyougonnado?Jumpinfrontoft
he
bul
let
?Fr om t
her
e?”,
Mphathi
saysandlaughs.
Muzisighsimpat
ient
ly.
“Onewrongmov eandSiphokazi
andLubanzi
wil
lmir
aculousl
ytransf
ormintomincedmeat.
Tryme”,Muzisaysandstandsup.Mphathi
l
aughs.
“Thi
sti
me, Iam 2stepsaheadofyou.Youwon’t
fi
ndthem smartypants”
,Mphathi
laughsand
cocksthegun.Iti
ghtl
yshutmyeyesandr ai
se
myhandsi nsurr
ender.
"Youmean4st epsbehi nd?Iknowhowy our
fuzzyli
tt
lemindwor ks.Thatminecouldeasil
y
coll
apseont opoft hem andIwouldn’thaveto
l
iftasingl
ef i
nger”,
Muzi say
sandIopenmy
eyes.Whatexact l
yisgoi ngonhere?Ikeep
askingmy sel
fthisquest i
onandIstil
lbare
withoutanswers.
ThesmileonMphat
hi’
sfacedisappear
sandhe
poi
ntst
hegunbackathim,t
histime,
Muzi’
sphoner
ingsandhet
akesi
toutofhi
s
pocket
.
“Bafo”
,hesayslikenothingiswrong.Howcoul
d
heremainthiscalm whileanangrymanhasa
gunpointedathim?Ist hishi
susualwayofl
if
e
thatheisusedtoit?
“Yeahngi
ri
ght
.LookI’
ll
speakt oy
oulat
er.
There’
snoneedfort
hatlocat
ionany
more”,he
saysancutst
hecall
.
Hethenexhalesandsays“It
’sei
theruyayi
donsa
l
ensimbioryouquitwasti
ngmyt ime”(
It’
seither
youshootor
…) ,Muzisay
sandMphat hinarrows
hisf
uri
ousey esathi
m.
“Iknowy ou’reonlycomput ersmar twhi chto
memeansy ou’r
est upidifyouain’tstreetwise
sosi nceI’mt hesmar tonear oundher e, l
emme
maket hewi sedecisionforyouandt hatwoul d
be,getti
ngt hef***out t
amyhouse” ,Muzi says
andsl owlymov esthegunawayf rom hi s
forehead.Mphat hit
henbendshi slowerl ipint
o
thecav it
yofhi smout handdr opshishand.
“Thisi
snotover
”,hesay
sandwal
ksaf
ew
stepsi
nrever
se.
“
AndifIdon’
tfi
ndmysonandmysi
sterwher
eI
l
eftt
hem Iswear
…”,
hesay
sashi
schestmoves
backandf
ort
hinv
olunt
ari
l
y.
“Iam notpr omi si
ngany thi
ng”,Muzi saysand
Mphat hishootsadeat hstareathi m.Hewas
breathingf i
re.Hethenr ushesoutoft hehouse
andIhear dthedoorsl am shortl
y.I’
m even
surprisedindi dn’
tbreak.Tearsst art
ed
streami ngdownmyf ace.Muzi begantexti
ng
onhi sphone.Il ookedathi m andhel ookedat
meback.
“Nxn!”,heshotoutandr ushedupstairs.Ineed
answer s.If
oll
owedhi mt hereasIwipedmy
tears.Iwentintothebedroom t ol
ookf orhim
buthewasn’ tthere.Iwentoutandwentt ohis
study.fIgotthereandf oundhim sit
ti
ngi nthe
semi darkwithhisforeheadplacedont het op
ofhisdeskandhi shandsonhi shead.Ilooked
towar dsthewindowandt hatsunhadmost ly
set.
“
Areyougonnatel
lmewhat’
sgoi
ngon?”
,Igrab
achai
randsi
t.Hesit
sint
hesameposi
ti
onand
doesn’
trespond.Ialsokeepquietandlookat
hi
m.Af t
eradr agofamoment ,her ai
seshis
headandletsitfal
lonhisleat
herchair.He
si
ghs.Idon’tl
ikethelookinhi
sey es.
“Youdon’
tlear
ndoy
ou?
”,hesay
sanddoesn’
t
stopt
obli
nk.
“HowdoyouandMphathi
knowoneanot
her
?”,
I
askandf
oldmyhands.
“Youmeanhowdoesy ourhusbandknowy our
boyfr
iendori si
tvi
ceversa?”,hesaysandpicks
upthewhi skeybot
tl
efrom thetable.Henever
dri
nksstraightf
rom t
hebot t
le.
“Heisnotmyboy f
ri
end”,Idefendandhescof fs
befor
ehecoul dtakeagul pofhisal
cohol i
c
bever
age.Het henswingst hewheeledchai rt
o
thesi
deandst andsup.Hewal kst
owar dsme
andswi ngsmineaswel l
sot hatIdi
rectlyface
him.Muzi hasneverl
aidahandonme.He
promisedthathewouldn’t.Hewouldn’tdare
star
tnow.Het henplacesthebot t
leonthetabl
e
andplaceshishandsoneithersideofmybody ,
onthearmrests,l
ockingmei nt
ot hechair
.We
getint
oastarecontestandhef inall
yspeaks.I
coul
dsmel lt
healcoholinhisbreath.
“
Whatiswr
ongwithyoungempela?
”,he
whi
sper
sdi
rect
lyont
omyf ace.
“I
’m sorr
yIbroughthi
m herebutIwoul
dn’thave
hady ouansweredyourphone.Iwasscared!
Whati fMbel
ohadcor ner
edme? !
”,
Idefend..
“Mbel
ogotthemessagethef
irstt
imearound.I
f
hewasstal
kingy
ou,tr
ustme,Iwouldknow”,he
saysl
owl
y .
“
Isawtheproof.I
fyouhadyourphonewi
thy
ou
whenIcal
l
edy ouwould’
ve-
”
“
Mphathi
playedt
ri
cksonyouandyoufel
lri
ght
i
ntot
hetrap”
,hef
lat
lysay
s,st
il
li
nhiscal
m.
“Sohewast heonewhowaswat chingme?Why
didn’
tyouansweryourphoneMuzi?Ineeded
y
ou!
”
“Nohewasn’t
.Iwas.Hej
ustcapi
tal
i
zedonthe
sit
uat
ion”
,hesai
dandmymout hhungopen.
“
What?Howcoul
dyoudot
hatt
ome?
”,Isayas
myey
eswell
up.
“You’
realiarBet
so.Andli
arsneedtobecaught
red-
handedsot hei
rbul
ls**
*comest oahalt
”,
hesti
llhadhishandsonthearmrest
s.
“Ican’
tbel
i
evey
ou…”,
myvoi
cebreaks.Isay
andhepull
sawayt
ogosi
tonthecouch.
“Woza.Yousai dyouwant edtoknowwhat ’
s
goingoni sn’ti
t?”,hesaysandIexhalein
disbel
ief.Ieventuall
ygetupfrom mychairand
walktosi tnexttohim.Het henplaceshi
s
handsi nhispocket sinpl
aceshisheadont he
topoft heleathercouchwhichmat chedhis
chair,
lookingup.
“
Mphathiwasmyoncemybestfri
end.I
n
v
arsi
ty”
,hest
atesandIj
ustsi
tther
elooki
ngat
hi
m,wai
ti
ngf
orhi
mtogoon.
“Wewer ev erycl ose.Hewasoneoft hose
fri
endsy ougetbecauseofamor eorlesst he
samesoci o-economi cst at usandshii.Imethim
att hel i
br aryt henwecl i
cked.Weshar edal otof
things, includi ngdr eamsandwhat everelse.
Oneday ,hissi stercamev isi
toncampus.She
wasst i
l
l inhi ghschool then.Shel ikedmeandi t
wasobv ioussoIwenti nf orthekil
land
smashedher .Shewant edar el
ati
onshipandI
didn’ t
.Iwasal readyi nar elati
onshipsoI
expl ainedt ohert henshegotmad.Imadei ta
pointt hatIapol ogizedthenwej ustbecame
simpl ef riends, oratl eastt hat’
swhatIt hought’
’
“
YoumeanSi
phokazi
?”
“Sohei
ntr
oducedthet
woofy
ou?
”,hesay
sand
giv
esmeasideeye.
“
Imetheratabookl
aunch”
,Isayandhel
aughs.
“
Siphokazi
andbooksar
econdomsandal
ong
ter
mrelati
onshi
p.Theydon’
tmix”,
heexpl
ains
andIstar
tputti
ngtwoandtwo.I’
m get
ti
nga
negat
iveseven.
“Any way,Mphathifoundoutt hatIsmashedhis
sisterandheendedourf r
iendship.Hedidn’
t
talktomef orastraighttwomont hsandlat
er
showedupatmydor m’sdoorandki ssedme.I
punchedhi m andhest art
edexpl aini
nghowhe
fellinl
ovewi t
hmeatf i
rstsightandkepttry
ing
givingmehi ntst
hatIappar entl
yignored”
“
Wai
t.Mphat
hii
sgay
?!”
“Bisexual
.Ourf riendshipoffi
cial
lyendedt here
andhepul l
edst untsliketel
li
ngMabuy ithatI
cheated.Shel eftmeandhecamet ogloati n
myf ace.Hekeptsay inghowIwasn’ tatrue
fri
endbecauseIendedourf r
iendshipbasedon
hissexualident i
tywhi lei
nactualfactIendedi t
becauseheki ssedme.Wegotdonewi thv arsi
ty
andIgotMal oConof ftheground.Icall
edi t
Kay i
se’sbr
ickst hen.Het henapproachedme
claimi ngthatIstolehi si deaswhenal lIdidwa
runt hem pasthi m becauseIt r
ustedhi m asa
fri
end.Wegoti ntoaphy si
calfight.Iwast ir
ed
ofhi scr apsoManqobaandImadesur ethathe
wasl ockedupandputawayf or4y ears.For
simpl eassaul t.I
’
v enev erheardofhi mt il
lIsaw
hisnameony ourscr eenaski ngaboutmy
wher eabout s..Iwasn’ tevenplanni ngongoi ng
toBl oem t i
llIsawt hatSMS.Thecal ly
ou
i
gnor edwast heofficial goaheadf ormy
mi ssion” ,
heexpl ai
nsandI ’
ml eftdumbf ounded.
Iheav i
lybreatheout .
“Mythi
ngis,t
hedi sr
espectofbr
ingi
nganother
manintoourl
ifewasn’tenoughthatyoual
so
hadtobri
nghimi ntomyhouse?”,hetur
nshis
headandasks..
“I
fonlyy
ouhadbeenherenoneoft
hiswoul
dbe
happeni
ng”
,Isayandsni
ff
.
“Letmegett
hisstr
aight
.Youri
nabi
l
itytoi
gnor
e
othermeni
smyf ault
?”,
heasksandIfeel
my
chestget
ti
nghot
.
“
I’
venev
ercheat
edony
ou!
”
“Youwoul
dhav
eify
ouwer
emar
ri
edt
oaf
ool
.
Twice”
“Youbarel
yhaveti
mef ormeMuzikay
iseyou
don’
tgettosi
tthereandaccusemeofcheati
ng.
EvenifIwas,
you’dsti
l
lhavenori
ghttosays**
*
aboutit
!”
“Rai
seyourv
oiceatmeonemoret
ime…”
,he
saysandIdr
opmychestaandl
ookaway
.
“Wewon’tsither
eanddiscusswhyIhaveto
workandalsoattendt
omyot herwi
featthe
sametime.Wear ewaypastthat
”
“
WellIdon’
tthi
nkthisr
elat
ionshi
pisgonna
wor
k”,Isayandlookaway.Hekeepsquiet
.
“Ther
e’ssomethingthatBab’
Ngemat
oldmethe
l
astti
meIwast here”
,Isaywit
hmyeyesst
il
l
keptawayfrom him.
“Youmeant helasttimeyousecretl
ywentto
consul
twithhim andIarr
ived?”
,Iturnt
olookat
him.Thatstat
ementwasenought orai
semy
curi
osi
tysoIputpi ecest
ogether
.
“Howdoy oualwaysfindme? ”
,Ican’
tcontr
ol
thecer
tainlysuspi
ciouslookonmyf ace.He
keepshisey esmagnet i
zedtotheroof
.
“YoukeepgoingonandonabouthowIdon’ t
careaboutyouandst uffcanhappentoy ou.No
dangercanbef al
lyouonmywat ch.Howdoy ou
thi
nkIfoundy ouwhenMbusohadabduct ed
you?”
,hesaysandt hi
ngsstartt
omakesense.
Myhandt rav
elst othediamondnecklacehe
alwaysi
nsist
si tshouldalway
sbeonmyneck.
“You’
vebeentrackingmeallthisti
me?”,
Isayi
n
almostawhisper.Icannotbel
ievethi
s…
“Youoptedtobel
iev
et hatt
hevil
l
aini
nthis
wholeequat
ionwasy ourkni
ghti
nshini
ng
armorandthatIwasabadhusbandwho
coudn’
ttakey
ourcal
lri
ght
?”
“Muzi
thi
sisallt
oomuch”
,Isayandpl
acebot
h
pal
msont hecouch”
“Your
eckon?”,
hecol
dlysay
s,st
il
lseat
edi
nthe
sameposit
ion.
“Yousaidy
ouhav
esomet
hingt
otel
lme?
”,he
prods.
“Il
ovey oubutthi
sisnotgoingtowor k.
Bab’Ngemasay sther
e’sprobabl
ewaywecan
actual
lybreakourancest
ralsoult
ie”,
Isayand
rol
lmyey estotherooftoavoidcryi
ng.
“Ihonest
lycannotdothi
sanymore.I
t’
salway
s
onthingifi
t’
snottheotherwi
thus.I
t’
sli
ke
we’recur
sed”,Isayandhekeepsqui
etforaf
ew.
“Tel
lmesomethi
ngnew”
,hesay
sandIt
urn
backtowar
dshim
“
Soy
ouknew?
!”,
Ishootout
.
“
YesIdi
d.If
oundoutwaybef
orey
ou.Sono,
my
stayi
ngalivewasnott hereasonwhyIwaswi t
h
you.Evenbef oreIf oundoutIwasn’twit
hy ou
becausey ouwer esomeki ndofli
fesupportf
or
me.Igenui nelyl
ov edy ouwoman.HellI
would’veDIEDFORYOUhadt heneedpresented
i
tself!
”,hi
sv exedsel fshootsatmeandt hen
stormsout .Aseriesofshr eddedshambles,i
f
thischapterofmyl i
fehadaname.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t96

“Don’
tgo”,heinsi
stedasImadeanat t
emptt o
takedownmysui tcaseint
hecloset
.Idropped
bothmyhandsandhead, t
henexhal
ed.Myback
wasfacinghim.Strengt
hwasincomplete
absenti
a.
“RatherIdo.Thi
sissti
ll
yourhouseatt
heend
oftheday ”
,headded.Thewasanechoingache
i
nmyhear t.Notquitesureofi tspri
mar ysour
ce
butsomet hinghurt.Somet hi
ngwasbr oken.A
marriagewi t
hMuzi kayi
seisnot hingshortof
war.Heal soknowst hi
s,hencet heneedt o
tr
ackmyeachandev er
ymov e.Someonei s
alwaysoutt ogethim, tosett
leascor ewi t
hhim,
toproveapoi nt.I’
l
lalwaysbecaughti n
unexpectedcr ossfi
res.
“Whendi dyoufi
ndout?”,Iaskedandturnedto
facehim.Anelephantt
ask.Thepuni sintended.
Iwast i
red.I
neveryver
sionandf or
m ofthe
word.Hewasst andi
ngfoursi ze9stepsaway
from me.Withhi
shandsi nhispockets.
“
Findoutwhat?
”,t
hequesti
onrol
l
edoffhi
s
t
onguefol
lowedbyaclear
ingoft
het
hroat.
“Thatit
’spossi
blef
orust obespir
it
uall
y
detachedandthatyoucansti
lll
iv
et hat
”,Iask
andgot odropmywei ghtonthefootstool
.He
sighsandpurseshi
slips.
“Rememberthatt
imeyouhadt ogetwashedin
thehousebyBab’Ngema’
swi f
eandIstayed
behi
ndwithhiminthehut
?”,
hesay sandlooks
toomeasi fwai
ti
ngformetoremember .
“
Thatl
ongago?Whydi
dn’
tyout
ell
me?
”
“Idon’tknowBet so.Isomehowgotscar ed.In
ev er
yrelati
onship,ther e’
sal
way st heonewhoi s
mor eafraidoflosingt heother.Simplybecause
they’r
etheoneswhol ovemore.It hi
nkIkinda
gotscar edwhaty ou’ ddowi t
ht heinformation
hadIexposedi tt oy ou.Ishouldn’thavekeptit
from you.Thatwasbaddeci si
on-maki ngonmy
side.I’
m sorry
”
Ihav enoi deahowtodi gestthewor dsthat
cameoutofhi smouth.Howt obr eakdownt he
factthathet hi
nksIdon’tvalueourr el
ationship
thesamewayhedoes.Asuddent hought
vibratestowardsthetimeIf oundoutt hathe
hadawi fe.Il
ovehim butlatel
y,asIl ookback, I
l
ov edhi m morethanIlovedmy sel
f .There’sa
strangerint hemi rr
or.Idon’trecognizemy self
any moreandi t
’snobody ’sfaultbutmyown.
Insteadoft hegoal -dr
ivenbusinesswomanwho
hasal lhershxtt ogether,Iall
owedmy selft
o
turnintoat ypicalhousewi festri
ckenbyan
attenti
on- def i
ciencydisorder.Alothaschanged.
I’
vegr ownbackwar ds,ifthatqualif
iesforany
sense.If eel Ineedabr eakofsomesor t.Fresh
airtoclearoutal ltheanxietythatpollut
esand
l
eav esr esiduesi nthecav ityofmychest .
“Howmanymor eofy ourenemiesshouldI
expecttot
urnourli
vesupsidedown?”,Il
ookup
andask.Heexhales.Abitdramat
ical
ly
accordi
ngtome.

“Ther
e’sr
eal
l
ynowayIcanknow”
,hesay
sandI
getup.
“Mphathi
coul
dhavekil
l
edme”,
Ibl
urtoutand
helooksatmeli
keI
’v
emanagedtocointhe
dumbestphr
asei
nhi
stor
y.
“Cany ouhonest lystandt hereandcl aim al l
lof
thattobemyf aul
t?Yougambl edwi t
hy ourl i
fe.
Iactuall
ydon’ tknowwhat ’
smor ei
nfuriating.
Thef actthaty ourefuset otakeaccount abili
ty
foryouract i
onsort haty ouj ustlove
entertai
ningmenwhof indi tcutetodi srespect
me.Iam sor ryf orbeingt her easonthat
Mphat hiwasaf t
eryou”,hesay sandl eav esthe
closet.Iam ti
red.

Mymom l i
kessayingnoamountofr egretcan
pushbackt hehandsoft i
me.Therefor
e, regret
i
spointless.Ineedawel l
-det
ail
edmanual on
howt ofeel.I
t’
sthenextdayandMuzi i
sst il
lnot
back.Izipupmynav ysui
tcaseandpullitoff
thebedusi ngthesidehandletopl
aceitoni t’s
wheels,onthef l
oor .It
henlookaroundt he
room purposelesslyindefeat
.Iam offici
ally
givi
nguponpol ygamy .I
twasnev ermysl iceto
beginwith.IloveMuzi .Ialwayswil
l.Itisjust
dif
fi
cult
ywear isomebei ngwi t
hinthislif
etime.

Ithendr agt hecasedownst ai

rsandhead
towar dst hedoori nt
hekitchen.Mycari ssti
ll
outside.Wher eMphathi l
eftit
.BeforeIcoul
d
reachf ort hehandle,
Ithenr emember .Myhand
reachest omyhandbagandIpul lt
henecklace
outoft hei nnerpocket.Il
ookati tbri
efl
ybefore
Icancar eful
lyplacei
tont het opofthekit
chen
count er.Thenl eave.
.
..

Ifi
rstarri
veatTumi ’
splace.Onmyt ear
yway
here,Ical
ledmymot herandherphoner
angti
l
l
voi
cemai l
.Ilef
titatthat.Sheal
wayssayst
hat
call
i
ngaper sonmor ethanoncewi l
lnever
maket hephoner inganyl ouderthanitalr
eady
does.Accordingt oher,she’stheonlyall
owed
toblowupone’ sphonei ndisarr
ay.Iswit
ched
offthecarint heparki
ngl otandfellbackonmy
seat.Idi
all
edhi snumberandheanswer edat
thethir
dring.
“
Ifi
tisn’
ttheprodigal
bestf
ri
end”
,hesay
sand
l
aughsaftersi
ppingonsomethi
ng.
“
Don’ tbecrazy.Thel
astti
mewespokewas
yesterdayinthemorni
ng”,Isayandunbuckl
e
my selfoutofthesaf
etybelt
.
“Exactl
y.Howdoy ounotseeany t
hingwrong
withthat?
!”,
hisdramaticselfpouncesonme
viathephone.Idon’thavetheenergytomatch
his.
“
You’r
enotokay.What
’sup?
”,hesof
tl
yfr
ets.I
l
owlybreat
hetogat
hermyself.
“
Wher
ear
eyou?
”,Ii
nqui
re.
“Onadate.RememberMar cus?Yeahhim.Don’
t
askanyf
ur t
herquest
ions.Tell
mewhat ’
sgoi
ng
onwithy
ou” ,her
ambleswi t
houtpause.
“
Payat
tent
iontoyourman.We’
l
lspeakonce
y
ou’
redonether
e”
“He’
sst i
ll
attheloo.Bolelamosadi
.Areyou
okay?”(
Talkwoman) .Onet hi
ngIhateaboutthi
s
questi
onisthatifyou’r
enotemot i
onal
lystabl
e
i
twillexposeyou.Isniffandshutmyeyes
hopingthetear
swi l
lsomehowgetl ostbehind
myey eball
sorsomet hing.
“Doyouhonestlywantmetodri
veall
thewayt o
Joburgtodragthetr
uthoutofy
ouwithaf i
sh
hookusingafreshmopaneworm asbait
?”,he
fi
rmlysaysandIsomehowmanaget olaughin
betweenthesniff
s.
“
Eeuuwwf r
iend!
”,Isayi
ndi
sgustasItakeout
mypocketti
ssuesoutofmypocket.
“
Whathashedone?Tel
lmesoIcanmar
inat
e
anddeepf
ryhi
sbal
l
s”,
hei
mpat
ient
lyst
ates.
“
I’
ll
tel
lyouev
ery
thi
ngt
hat
’shappenedf
acet
o
f
ace”
“
Wai
t.Ar
eyoucomi
nghome?
”
“
I’
m home”
“ThenMar cuscanwai t
.I’
m onmywayt here”,
hecut sthecallbeforeIcanargue.Isi
ghand
callhim backknowi ngverywell
thathewon’ t
answer .IthentexthimthatI’
mi nhisbuil
ding’
s
parkinglot.
Myheartalmoststopswhenanunexpected
knockhit
smywi ndow.Iwastoofocusedonthe
AnimalRescuegameIwasplayingonmy
phone.
Iopenthedoorandscol
dathi mforgi
vi
ngmea
fr
ightbef
orehuggi
nghim desper
atel
y.
“Youpoort
hing.Youreyesar
eevenr
edand
puff
edup.Let’
sgoinside”
,hesay
sandwedo
exact
lyt
hat
.
Heent ersfir
standtakesofhi scoat ,
subsequent l
ythrowingitont hecouch.Idot he
sameandgodownt osit.Wef ir
stgot othe
kit
chent omakesomehotbev erageswhi l
ehe
tel
lsmeabouthowMar cwi shesthatI ’
m okay
andstuf f
.I’
veonlyev ermethi m once.It hink
he’sagr eatguybutTumi insi
ststhathel acks
“somet hi
ng”.That’sther easonhebr okeup
withhimi nthefi
rstplace.Cof feef orhim and
teaforme.Wet henwal kbackt ot hecouch
area.
“So,whathappened? ”,heimpat i
entlystates
whilethrowingacushi onbehindhisback,
cautiouslyhol
dingont ohissteami ngmug.If el
t
awhol elotbetterthanIdi dwhenIf i
rstarri
ved.
Iexplainedevery t
hingf r
om Mphat hi,the
argumentandt racker.Every
thing.Wor df
or
wordont heargumentpar t
.
Hehadt
ofi
rstpi
ckhi
sjawupf
rom t
hef
loor
bef
orehecoul
drespond.
“Child!IthoughtIwast heonewi t
hahighly
colorfulandev entfull
if
ear
oundher e”
,hesay s
andshakeshi shead.Thejawcoul dn’
thelpbut
fal
l backt othefloor.Nomatterhowgravely
seriousasi tuati
onmaybe, Tumi canneverl
et
gooft hi
ssideofhi m.
“Yeahwel
l
.That
’swhathappened”
,Isayand
snif
f.
“Butfri
endIwarnedyouaboutt
hisPart
yguy
”,
hesay sandlooksatmewithamildl
y
disappoint
edface.
“Idon’
tknowbesar
gIenj
oyedt
heat
tent
ionI
guess”
Helooksatmeandsi
ghs.Het
henget
sup,
pl
acesthemugonthecoff
eet
abl
eandkneel
s
i
nfrontofi
t.
“
Come”
,hecal
mlyst
ates
“Whatareyoudoing?”
,Iaskaf
terheplacest
he
palmssandwichesthepalmsofhishands
toget
her
.
“Youneedadi
vi
nei nter
vent
ionofsomesor
t”,
hesayswit
hcert
aintyandIlaugh.
“
Andsincewhendoyoupr
aydearat
hei
st?
”,I
mockwithmyneckpul
l
edback.
“Iwasn’tal l
alongbecausesoci etymanagedt o
conv i
ncemet hatGoddoesnotl ov eme
becauseofmysex ualori
entat
ion.New
i
nfor mationhasbeenbr oughtforthandIhav e
changedmymi ndasI ’
m all
owedt o.Iknow
better”,
hisnewl ylearnedselfsaysand
continuest oclosehi seyes,wi
ththe
exagger atedorratherfakecalm hei nsi
stedon
painti
nghi sfacewi th.Il
aughandgetupt o
kneel besidehim.
“Goodaf
ter
noondaddyG” ,
that
’st
hefi
rstt
hing
hesaysandIcannothel
pbutexpl
odei
n
l
aughter
.Hedidment ionanewspiri
tual
jour
ney
heabouttopart
ake2weeksbackbutbegged
formenottoint
errogatehi
m aboutbutwhoon
eart
hstar
tsaprayerthisway?
“
Whatki ndofaChr istianst
artsaprayerwit
h
“
Goodaf ter
noon,DADDYG? !
”,Isaywhileut
ter
ly
f
ail
ingtocontainmyl aught
er.Hewant edto
l
aughaswel lbutinsistedonmai nt
aini
nga
malfor
medst rai
ghtf ace.
“IneversaidIwasaChr i
sti
anfri
end.There’
sa
diff
erencebetweenr el
i
gionandspirit
uali
tydear
Mar y.I’
l
lschoolyouafterthi
s.Now,backt ome
pleadingforyourint
erventi
on…”,
hesaysandI
trymybestt okeepittogether.
“Daddy, sor
ryforputt
ingy ouonhol d.AsIwas
saying,whateverismessingwi t
hmybest
fri
end’sloveli
fethisbadly,today,Ideclareand
decreei tdi
ssolv
ed.Ifiti
st oostubbor nto
dissolv
et henIam gladlysendingi tbackto
wher eitcamef r
om” ,hewasaboutt oproceed
beforehewasinter
ruptedbyaknockonthe
door.Heir
ri
tabl
yexhaledandshort
lysai
d“God,
pl
easeholdononemi nut
e”
Heplacedhi shandsonthetopoft
hetablef
or
supportandt henst
oodup.Heopenedthedoor
andjustlookedatwhoeverwasatthedoorf
or
them t
ospeak.Mor eli
kestatet
hei
rcaseand
go.
“Heyyou.Idon’tknowifthiswi l
lbean
i
nconveniencebutcany oupl easebor r
owmea
fewpegs?Pr omisetobringt hem back”,amale
voi
cesaidandTumi pull
edt hedoorf urt
heri
n
andscannedi t
.Whati shedoi ng?
“Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?”
,thev
oicei
nqui
redi
n
obvi
ousconf
usi
on.
“
WellEXCUSEME.Iam t r
yingtoseewher ein
t
hegr avyoft hi
sdoori
t’swr i
tt
en“Peg
Manuf act
uringFact
ory”ory oucanseethe
i
nvi
siblethroughthoseglasses?”,
heexclaims
andIl
aughi
nter
nal
l
y.
“LookIam sorr
yabouty est
erdayIknowI
shouldn’
thave…”,
thev
oice’sstat
ementiscut
shortbyadoorbeingclosedinhisface.
“
Andthat
?!”
,Ii
nqui
sit
ivel
ypr
odi
nhi
sbusi
ness
wi
tht
hisquest
ion.
“Canyoubel
i
evethener
veoft
hisbxt
ch?
”,Iget
upfrom t
hef
loort
ogositont
hecouchwit
h
him.
“
Ihaveaf
eel
ingt
hisi
sbey
ondpegsandl
aundr
y.
Whati
sgoi
ngon?”
“YouknowIdon’tdatecl
osetresi
dentsr
ight
?”,
that’
swherehedecidesshoul
dbet hest
arti
ng
pointofhi
sstor
ytime.
“
Y-y
es.And?
”
“Wehiti
tandhadfxckedacoupleoft i
mes.
Okay.Noprobl
em.Istr
ict
lyt
oldhimt hati
fheis
notoutyett
henwehav enofut
ure.Isaidt
his
becausehewasal way sducki nganddiving
wheneverwehadt ogoouteatandt akewal ks
i
npubl i
c.Okaycool .Ideci det oputhim on
parol
ewat chandbef oreIdeci det
ocompl etely
redcardhim.Soy esterday ,Icomebackf r
om
mycallandIf indhim maki ngoutwi t
hsomegi rl
ri
ghtinthemi ddleoft hepassagewher eas
wherewer etexti
ng10mi nut espri
orandhet ol
d
mehewasatwor k? ”
“
No…”
“Heedi dInotf l
i
p?Andt hat’
snott hereason
whyI’m mad.WhenIgoof fathim, heturnsto
thegirlandsay s“ Babe,thisistheobsessedgay
guyI’
v ebeent ell
ingy ouabout ”andt el
lsmet o
chil
lthef xckoutandt hathedoesn’ twantme.I
wipedt hef l
oorwi thhisfadewhent hegirll
eft
.
Zankakat lwael
wamakakaso” ,hesaysand
downst hehalffullcupofcof feeont hetable
whichwasnowcer tai
nlycold.
“
Blockhi
m.He’
snotwor
thi
t”
“Excusemebl ockhi mf orwhatgoodand
charit
ablepur pose?Iam notdonewi t
hhim! ”
,
heshot soutv ehement lyandatt hatmoment ,I
real
izehowgoodhei satmaki ngmef orget
aboutmypr oblems.Ev enwi thoutreal
izi
ngi t
norintenti
on.Ial sor eali
zedhowmuchImi ssed
myol dlif
ebackwhi chissomet hi
ngoft heclear
pastnowbecause2mor epeoplear enowa
partofmeandt hiswi ll
f or
everbeso.I fIhadt o
regretsomet hing,itdefinit
elywouldnotbe
bakingtheset wo.

Il
eftmycarandTumi dr
ovemehome.Hedi dn’
t
wanttocomei nbefor
ehewasi narushand
l
ateforhi
sdxckappointmentwit
hMar cus.I
wavedhim goodbyeatthegat
eandhehonked
atme.WhenIt ur
ned,theli
ght
sinthehouse
wer eoff.Ijustconcludedthatmom wasbusy
withhershenani gansandwasn’ thome.I
draggedmycasei nandt ookoutmyphonet o
callher.Ifsheisn’thomet henthedoori s
l
ockedandshehast hekeywi t
hher .I
fIhadt old
her,shewoul d’
veleftthem int
hepotpl ant.As
I’
mt ryi
ngt ounlockmyphone, Iheargiggles
emanat i
ngf r
om insidethehouse.Mysur prised
selfteststoseei fthedoori sl
ockedandf inds
thatitisn’t
.Iwalkt otheli
vingroom andf indt he
shockofmyent i
relife!
“Ma!
”,Iscr
eam andshequickl
yletsgoofMr
Moko’swaist
.Ipl
acemyhandov ermymout
h
andkeepmypoppedey esatthem.
“BloodyhellFi
lwedidInotteachyouknocking
eti
quette?!
”,hesaysandshov esthehanging
cornerofhertowelintothethi
ckfold.Hewasin
hisboxers.Iimmediatel
yputmyhandov ermy
soreandcr i
ngingeyesandwal kedawayt omy
room.Howi sitt
hatther
earepeoplewi t
h
unnecessaryabi
li
ti
eslikevol
untar
il
ymovi
ng
thei
rearsbutIcan’t‘
unsee’t
hingswhenI
desperat
elyneedto?
Muzi call
sandIcontempl at
ef i
rstonwhethert
o
l
etitringortoanswerit.Ieventual
lyanswer
becausei nasmuchast hi
ngsar enotworki
ng
outbet weenhim andI,
thisisthemanwho
play
st hestri
ngsofmyhear tlikean
experiencedgui
tari
st.
“
Hel
l
o?”
“
Hey
.Youl
eft
?”
“
YeahI
’
m atmymom’
s”
“
Why
?”,
heasksandIkeepqui
et.
“Sothi
sisit
?Arewegoi ngaheadwi t
hthe
ceremony?
”,headds.Isigh.Deepl
y
“
I’
m af
rai
dso…”

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t97

Thesoundoft hecardr ivi

ngof fandt heknock
onmybedr oom doorcl ashedinmyear s.There
wasnov ehi
cleout si
dewhenIwal kedinhereso
ahugepartofmewonder edaboutt hereason
fort
hat.Mymom l ethersel
finwhenshef i
nal
ly
real
i
zedIwasn' taboutther espondinggames.
Shefir
stpeepedi nandsai dletoutasof t"
Hey".
"Hey"
,Isai
dfr
om wher
eIwasseat
edont
he
bed.Shecametosi
tnextt
ome.
"
Howl
onghast
hisbeengoi
ngonma?
"
"Awhil
enow.It'
squi
teseri
ous"
,sheinf
orms
andsubsequent
lybi
tesherl
owerli
p.
"
Qui
tese..Hehasawife!
",Ishotoutandf
eel
myeyespoppedoutather
.
"
You'
reafi
net
ospeakngwanaka"
,shesay
sand
l
ooksaway
.
"
Idon'
twanty
out
ogethur
tmama"
"
Noonei
sgoingt
ogethurtandbesi
des,t
hey'
re
i
nthemi
ddl
eofadiv
orceso..
."
,sheshr
ugs.
"
Youdoknowt
hatev
erymar
ri
edmanusest
hat
l
i
neri
ght
?"
"OhdammitFi
lweIam ol
denought
otakecar
e
ofmysel
f"
,shesnaps.
"
Whenyousay"seri
ous",exactl
yhowseriousdo
y
oumean?"
,Iask,sti
ll
staring.Br
iefsi
l
ence.
"Get
ti
ngmar
ri
edki
ndofser
ious"
,shest
ates
andmyjawdr
ops.
"
Andwhenwer
eyoupl
anni
ngont
ell
i
ngme?
"
"Iwasgoi
ngtotel
lyouwhenthet
imewasri
ght
",
shethenpl
acesherhandonmyshoul
der
.
"
Shuuu.Yousureashell
cankeepasecret
woman",Isayandal
ightgi
ggl
eescapesher
l
ips.
"
Any
way
,whati
samar
ri
edwomandoi
ngback
i
nmyhouse? ",
myey esi
mmedi
atel
ydodgeher
s
af
terherquest
ion.
"
Fil
we?
",sheadds.Iexhal
e.
"We'
re.
..goi
ngourseparatewaysmama"
,Isay
andanunintent
ional
teardropst
omythi
gh.
"Whodi
dwhat
?",
shequest
ionsf
urt
herandI
keepmyey
esonmysli
ppers.
"Di
dhecheatony
ou?
",Ican'
tfi
ndt
her
ight
answer
s
"I
si tsomethingyoudi d?",
shecont i
nuesto
i
nv esti
gate.Shetakesadeepbr eathandmov es
closertohim.Shet hengent lypullsmyheadso
thatitlay
sonhershoul der,coveri
ngi t
'ssi
de
withherskinny-f
ingeredsof thand.
"Okaybaby.What
everi
tiswecanalwaystalk
abouti
tinthemorni
ngorwheneveryou'
reready
.
Okay?"
,Inod.
"
Buti
fhewashi
tt
ingy
out
henIswear
..
."
"Noit
'snott
hat
.He'dnev
erdothat
",Icor
rect
herbefor
ehert
hreat
sgettoof
ar.
"Okaythen.Let'
sgomakeyousomet
hingto
eat"
,shesay sandbr
ushesmytummylovi
ngly
.

.
..

I
t'soneoft hosemor ningtoday.Wheremybody
i
nsistsonsl eepingbutmybr ainishavi
ngnone
ofit.Ipull
edmyphonef r
om underthepi l
low.A
partofmewashopi ngf orsomesor tofa
notifi
cati
onf r
om Muzi butnotbetti
ngoni t.The
phonev ibratedsl i
ght l
ytoshowt hattherewas
i
ndeedsomet hing.Iunl ockeditwit
hspeedonl y
tofindthatt heonl ynot i
fi
cati
onIwasv erymuch
blessedwi thwasapr omot i
onalSMSf rom
Vodacom.Iwasabi tdisappoi
ntedbutt hat
"Thisisfort hebest "thoughtthat'
susual l
yt her
e
toconsol epnet hr
oughabr eakupcamet omy
rescue.Ir
eadTumi'
sWhat sAppmessageand
l
aughedathisresponsetomyst atusupdate.I
postedapict
urefr
om inst
agram andcaptioned
i
t" WhatIwoul
dgiveforachickenmay o
sandwichandsomeguav ajuiceri
ghtnow".
"Atmi dni
ght ?Remi ndmenev ertogetpr egnant",
thatwashi sr esponse.Ast enchofr ot t
eneggs
hitmynost ril
sandIi mmedi atelygotupt or un
tot hebathroom.It hr ewupt wiceandbal anced
my selfonthecol dt oiletseatt ogatherthe
strengthtogetup.Iwashedmymout hand
wentt ofetchmyt oiletrybagsoIcanbr ushmy
teethwhileIwasati t .WhenIwasdone, Ithrew
awar mrobeonandheadedt ot hekitchen.The
smel lwasn'tthatbadany mor e.
"Morni
ngbaby .Ihear
dy ouvomiti
ngand
i
nstantl
yremember edthatyounol ongermi x
witheggs.Askii
esIthr
ewt hem outside"
,she
saidasshedishedupt hesausagesf rom her
redpan.Theplatesalr
eadyhadbr ownbr eadon
t
hem.
"I
t'
sokay
",Iassuredandtookmyseat.She
pushedt
hebluecont ai
nertowar
dsmeand
askedmetobut t
erthebreadsolong.

"So..
.Whathappened?"
,shesippedonhert
ea
waiti
ngformet ospi
ll
thebeans.Iexhal
edand
stoppedsti
rr
ingmine,whi
chlookedmoreli
ke
milkthant
ea.
"I
twasn'tworkingmama.Iwasn' tgett
ingany
att
entionf
rom hi m andanothermanst art
ed
beingapartoft heequat i
on",
Iexplai
nedinhal
f
tr
uthsbecauseIcoul dn'taff
ordtotel
lherthat
myl i
fewasindanger .Shedoesn'
tevenknowI
wasonceki dnapped.
"
Letmegetthi
sstr ai
ght
.Hewasnegl i
gent
t
owardsyouandy oucheat
ed?",shesaidand
madepur
poselessdemonstrat
ionsintheair
wi
thhert
easpoon.
"
Idi
dnotcheat
.Butsomet
hingl
i
ket
hat
"
"Soundsli
keat wowrongssit
uati
on.Soyour
fi
rstobst
acleinmarri
agethenyoubothr
unin
opposit
edirect
ions?
"
"
It
'snott
hefi
rst
.Pl
us,t
hesecr
ecymom i
t'
sjust
t
oomuch.Ifeel
li
keIneedabr
eaktof
ind
mysel
fagai
n"
"Thenhavej
ustt
hat.Abreak.Notanenti
re
divor
ce",
sheadv
iseswit
hherbaffledf
rownon
herface.
"
It
'snotwor
kingma.Il
ovehim butInol
onger
wanttobewit
hhim.It
hinkhefeel
sthesame"

.
..

Mymom spentthewholedaywit
hmet oday
.
Sheisn'
tsay
ingi
tbutIknowshemissedme.I
missedhert
oo.Shewashedmyhairand
brai
deditintothickcornr
ows.Muzi shouldbe
hereanymi nutefrom now.Sheaskedmef or
thesecondt i
mei fIwassur eandIsai dy es.My
bagisalreadypacked.Itwasr eall
yunpackedi n
thefi
rstplace.Justhadaf ewt hi
ngst akenout .
Iwaswear ingabl ackti
ghtdress,j
ustl ong
enoughtocov ermyknees.Leggi ngsandpur ple
socksont opthenbr ownsleeperboot stocov er
themess.Mymom wal kedintother oom asI
wasf ol
dingthebl ackandbrowndoeki naway
thatwil
lall
owmet owrapitproperl
yonmy
head.
"He'
shere"
,sherepor
tsfrom behi
ndmeandI
nodwit
houtturni
ngtofaceher.
"
Yousur
eyoudon'
twantmet
ocomewi
thy
ou?
"
"
Iam sur
emama",Isayandcont
inuet
owr
ap
t
hedoekaroundmyhead.
"
Isti
llmai
ntai
nthatthet
woofy
oucanj
ustt
alk
t
hingsthr
oughand..
."
"
Let
'snotdot
hismom"
"Whenareyougoi
ngt
ostopbei
ngso
stubbor
n?"
,Igr
abmycoatandi
gnor
eher
.
"
HowdoIl ook?"
,thi
siswhatIpr
efert
osay
i
nst
ead.Shesighs.
"
Beaut
if
ul.Asal
way
s"

.
..

Wegett ot hel
ivingroom andf i
ndMuzi t
her e,
withhisthumbsonhi sphone.Hequi ckly
standsupwhenher eali
zesourpr esenceand
asksifI'
mr eadyt ogo.Igetlostinhi sey esfor
asplitsecond.Thismani sgorgeousbutt hatis
notgoingtoder ailmef r
om mydeci sion.Lov e
i
snotenought omai ntainali
felongr elat
ionship.
There'snocommongr ound.Thef oundat ionof
ourrelat
ionshi
pi sshaky .
"Yes.Let
'sgo",Il
owlysayandhet urnstolook
atmymom bef orehecoul dsayhi sgoodby es.
Theyhugandi tlastslongerthani tshould.
Givi
ngmeampl etimet oquest i
onwhet herI'm
makingtherightchoice.Wewal kedt othecarin
gravesil
ence,gotinandst rappedonoursaf ety
belt
s.
"Soforyoutoadmitandacknowl
edgeyour
wrongdoingsyouwouldr
atherwebreakup?
",
hefi
nall
ysay s.
"It
houghtthi
siswhatyouwantedaswell
",Isay
andkeepmyey esattheMrSit
hole'
scarwhich
j
ustparkedaneardist
ancef
rom us.Hewav es
atuswithasmileandMuzihonksathi
m.
"Youknowwhat?Let
'sj
ustgo"
,hesay
sthen
star
tsthecar
.

Whi
l
eont
her
oad,
hisphoner
ingsandheget
sit
.
"
Manqoba?
"
"
Soy
ouf
inal
l
yfoundi
t?"
"
Bey
ibi
zaf
orsur
e"(
Itwassur
elyexpensi
ve)
"
Noprobl
em.Findawaytorestr
ainitbutdon'
t
t
akei
thome.Ihaven'
ttol
dthem yet
"
"I
'
llt
ell
them whenthet
imei
sri
ght
.Youknow
howtheycanget"
"
Yeahshe'
swi
thme"
"
Cany
ougi
vemet
hispept
alkanot
hert
ime?
"
"
Shar
p"
Hecutthecallandputt hephonedown, dri
vi
ng
i
ntoamal latthesamet ime.Hepar kedthecar
andtol
dmet hathewi l
lbeback.Hecameback
20minuteslaterwithachi ckenmayosandwi ch,
ali
tr
eofguav ajuiceandsomesnacks.Ismi led
andthankedhimf orthem.Hegav emeaf aint
smil
ebackandsai d"Eat.Youmustbehungr y"
.
Idi
djustthatanddozedof fafter
wards.
"Betso, wakeup.We' r
eher e",hegent lyshook
measheunbuckl edhi ssaf etybel t.Ilazi l
y
openedmyey esandl ookedar ound.I twasdar k
butIcoul destabl i
sht hatwewer eat
bab'Ngema' spl ace.IsawManqoba' scarbut
theownerwasnowher ei nsi ght.Thegoatwas
ti
redt oat r
eeandf rom t henoi sei twasmaki ng,
onecoul dtellthati tprobabl yknewt hati ttied
forslaught er.Icheckedf ort imeonmyphone
andi twas01h23.Themai nr oadwasn' tt hat
closebutIcoul dheart hepassi ngcar sf rom a
distancewhenImademywayoutoft hecar .It
wasdeepf reezinglycol d.Manqobaand
bab'Ngemamadet heirwayoutofhi smai n
houseandgr eet edMuzi fi
rst.Theygr eet edme
afterwar dsandbabasai dthecer emonycan
begin.BabNgemawentt ohi shutt of etcha
fewt hingsandcameback.Hei nstr uct ed
Manqobat ogof etchacl eanbucketf rom hi s
wifeint hehouse.Hebeganmaki ngt hose
"Hiyeyyy"soundst hatf reakmeoutwhenbegi ns
shi
v er
ingandmov i
nghi sshoulder
supand
down.Hei nstructedt hatweshoul dallkneel
downwhenhepl acedt hemet alpl
atewith
i
ncensei nit
.HehandedMuzi thematchbox,
tol
dhimt orecitehisf ul lcl
annamesbef orehe
couldspeakandher aisedhi seyestome
beforehecouldt akei t.Het ookitandsetthe
i
ncenseal i
ght.Het hensi ghedbeforesayi
ng
anythi
ng.
"
Mnt
ungwa,
Mbul
az'
omny
ama,
Ni
nabakaBhej
'eseNgome,
Ni
n'enadl
'
umunt
uni
myengangendaba,
Ni
n'enadl
'i
zi
mf'
ezi
mbi
l
iikhambi
laphumal
i
li
nye,
Lobengul
akaMzi
l
ikazi
,Mzi
l
ikazi
kaMashobana
ShobananoGasakaZi
kode.
..
"

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t98

Muzi st atedandpl eadedal lthatheneededt o,

undert hei nstr
uctionofbab’ Ngema.
Bab’Ngemabeganmaki ngt hechant sand
soundsheusual l
ydoeswhencommuni cat i
ng
witht heancest ors.Weal llookedathi m
anxiousl ywaiti
ngf orhimt ol etusi non
what ev erwasbei ngcommuni catedt ohi m,
i
ncludi ngManqoba.Iwonder edf orabr ief
momentwhyMuzi pr
eferrednott otellhis
familyaboutwhati sreall
ygoi ngon.Once
bab’Ngemamanagedt ocomebackt oear th,as
darkasi twas, t
heskybeganmov i
ng, doubl i
ng
thebr utal col
dthatpenet ratedandpr i
ckedi nto
myski n.Thev aultoftheheav ensbeganr oari
ng
thenoutofnowher e,athunder ingl i
ghting
descendeddownandt hendi sappear ed.IfIdid
notpeeonmy sel
ft hen,thenmybl adder
deser vesanendur anceawar d.
“Thatcan’
tbeagoodsi
gn”,
Manqobasai
dwi
th
hiseyesst
il
lfi
xedt
othesky.
“Dedelalembuzi ihambe” (
Untiethegoalsoit
cango) ,babasaidt oMuzi wit
hhi sonehandon
hisknee.Her eekedofexhaust ion.Muzidi
dnot
protest.Hedidasi nstr
uctedwhi l
eIontheother
hand, wastryi
ngtopi eceandst it
chsomesense
together.Doesthismeant heceremonyisoff
?I
wonder edtomy self.Bab‘Ngemawentont o
explaintheverysamet hi
nghedi dbefor
e.
“Ngi nichazelekahleukut hiangekenj e
i
z’isebenzel entoumani sat
handanani na
nobabi l
i.Ni
hlushway i
nkani.Yil
ey onkani
enilethel aukuthinizongi moshel aisikhathi.
Ngi n’khuzanj engomzal imanje, abaphansi
akuy onai ntoeningadl alangay o.Lungi sani
umshadowenunj engabant uabadal a”(I
thor oughlyexplainedtoy outhatt hi
swi llnever
wor ki fyou’r
est i
l
l i
nlov e.Youronl ypr oblem is
stubbor nness,whi chiswhatpr opelledy ouher e
tocomewast emyt i
me.I ’
m nowwar ningyou
asapar ent,ancestorsarenotsomet hingyou
canplaywi t
h.Fixyourmar ri
ageli
ketheadults
thatyouare),herepr i
mandedt hengotupt o
l
eav ewithhisstuff.Apar tofmef el
tli
kehe
knewbutj ustwant edtopr oveapoint.
“Ningi
bizanithini
fun’usizokantinif
una
ukungishayi
shangezul u”
(Youcall
edmeher e
sayingyouneedhel pwher easyouwant edto
stri
kemewi thl
ightening),Manqobajokingl
y
saidandMuzi l
aughed.Idi dn’
t.
“
Hayicha.Shuthi
lentoyenueser
ious”(Thi
s
meansthi
sunionofy oursi
squi
teserious)
,he
wentonandonwhi lewalki
ngt
ohisv an.We
wenttooursandgotin.
“It
houghtwewer
eont hesamepage”,Isay
whenwebothgetset
tl
edonourseats.He
exhal
edngandpl
acedhishandsont
hest eer
ing
wheel.
“
Idon’
twantt
hisr
elat
ionshi
ptoseem t
oyou
l
ikeyou’r
ebeingheldhost age,byme.WhatIdid
wast ogi
vey ouwhaty ouaskedf or
.What
happensafterthati
sbey ondmycont rol
”,he
defendedandfellbackonhi sbackrest.
“I
not herwor
ds,y
oujustwantedtoprovea
point?Ist
hatwhyyoudidn’
tbothert
otell
your
parents?”
“
Yes”
“Iam t
ir
edofargui
ng.Ti
redoffi
ghti
ng.Alot
hashappened.Ij
ust
…”,heexpr
essesthensi
ghs.
“Let
’sj
ustgohomeandrest.It
’sbeenal
ong
dri
ve”,
hestat
esthenst
art
st hecar.
“
Mindtakingmetoahotel
?Iam notinthe
moodtobeansweri
ngquesti
ons”,Ihumbly
r
equestandhenodswit
houttur
ningtofaceme.

…
Ourhear tsgett omaket hedeci sionsf orusand
decideourf ate,disregardi
ngwhatmymi nd
feelsisright.I’m say i
ngmi nebecauseatt hi
s
point,Ihav enoti deaofwhat ’
si nhi s.He’snot
fi
ght i
ngitnei therdoesi tsoundl ikehewant sit
either.Thebr eakheoncement ionedwi ll
dous
bot hsomegood.Heor deredsomer oom
ser vi
ceandaskedf orext r
abl anket .They
broughtt hebl anketandIpr epar edt hebed, al
l
thisincompl etesilence.Het ookof fhisclothes
andIt ri
edmybestt ogetmyey est oav oidthe
sightofhi m.Hewal kedtot hebat hroom inhis
blackbr i
efs.Icoul dhearhewast al
kingtoGugu.
From whatI ’
vehear d,shealsohasnoi dea
what ’sgoingon.Secr ecy.
Hecamebackandwentst r
aighttobed.Ikept
switchinginbetweensoci almedi aappswaiting
forthef oodtoarr
ive.Itwasev identhehadno
plansofeat i
ng.Thef oodfinall
yar r
ivedandI
dugi n.Sayi
ngIwasf amishedwoul dbeput t
ing
al otofdi sr espectt ot hehungert hathadmeby
mynon- existentnut s.Muzi wasal r
eadygonei n
sleepwhenIwasdoneeat ing.Thesui tcase
wasl ef tint hecar .Forr easonsonl yknownt o
forcedsi l
enceandexhaust ion.Iwasn’ taboutt o
sleepi nunder wearonl ybecauseIknowwhat ’s
goodf orme.Andmygeni tals.Iwal kedov erto
thechai rhehadcar efullypl acedhi sclotheson
andpul ledhi st -shirttobeusedasani ghti
e
thenal sosl idint obed, maki ngsur etokeept he
requireddi stancebet weenourbodi es.Ifolded
myar msacr ossmychestandt r
iedt ogetsome
sleep.Al otwasgoi ngt hroughmymi nd,
i
ncl udingmymot her ’
sescapadesand
shenani gans.I nsteadofr etiri
ngf ortheday ,my
braindeci dedt obebusyandov erthink.My
trainoft houghtt henv entur edont osubmi ssion.
Ibeganquest i
oni ngwhet herornotIwas
submi ssi veenough.I sGugut hesame?I
ext i
ngui shedt hoset hought sbef oretheycoul d
mol dmei nt othet ypet hatsubmi t
st obullshxt
i
nordert
obeappl
audedaswhatpat
ri
archy
coi
nedaswi
femater
ial
.
JustwhenIwasbusyput ti
ngoutt hef i
resi nmy
headsoIcanal sogetsomesl eep,Ifelthis
war m handwrappingitsel
faroundme, resti
ng
ont hespacebetweenmyt ummyandmy
breasts.Hepull
edmecl oserandsnuggl edup
againstmei nhissleep.Arandom t houghtof
howhenev ermixesupmynameandGugu’ s
whenev erhefxcksormakesl ovet omel et
i
tselfint
omymi nd,unsoli
cit
ed.Doeshi sbr ain
managet oal
socompar t
ment ali
zet heright
moansandgr oanswhenhei swi thher?I
genuinelybi
toffmor ethanIcanchewwi ththis
sharing-
a-manbusi ness.Bull
.Theexcesswas
bitt
enof fonmybehal f,wit
houtmyper mi ssion.
WhenIf i
nal
lyputaf ul
l-
stoptomyov er-t
hinking,
Ireali
zedIhadpl acedmyhandov erhis.

…
WhenIwoke, weweresti
l
lint
hesameposi
ti
on.
Iturnedbackt
oseeifhewasawakeandf
ound
thathewas.Wideawake.
“
Goodmor
ning”
,thegr
eet
ingcamef
rom me.
“Mor
ning”,
hecoarselysai
dandplantedakiss
onmyneck.Iclosedmyey esbecauseitwasn’
t
agoodideabutIreceiv
editany
way .
“
Howdi
dyousl
eep?
”,headded.
“
Isl
eptwel
l
.Howdi
dyousl
eep?
”
“Sl
eepingnextt oyouhasacalmingeff
ecton
me,Ican’ tsaythesameaboutaboutanot
her
part
icularpartofmethough”
,hesaidandI
l
aughedoutl oud.
“Stopi
t”,
Irepr
imandedandmovedmybehi
nd
sli
ghtl
yawayfrom hi
serect
edf
ront
.Hel
aughed
aswell.
“
I’
m sor
ry”
,heconf
essed.Ikeptmysi
l
ence.Not
outofspi
tebutsi
mpl
ybecauseIhadnoi
dea
whattosay.
“IknowIshoul d’v
egiveny oumor eattenti
on
andf oundawayt oaffor
dy oumor eofmyt i
me.
Islackedandt here’
snoexcusef ori
t.
Ialso
shouldn’thaveinvadedyourprivacyandt r
acked
yourmov ementswithoutyourper mi
ssion.Ijust
neededy out obesafe.I’m deeplysorry
mommy ”,headded.
“I
’
m sorryt
o.I
’m sor
ryforbei
ngthegatewayf
or
othermentodi
srespectyou"
,Il
etoutandhe
si
ghed.
"Butwecan'
tbet
ogetherfornow.Thatbreak
weoncespokeabout?Ithi
nkwebot hneedit
now",If
urt
hermystatement.Ther
e'ssi
l
encefor
ashortl
i
vedmoment .
"Yousur
e?",
heasksandr
ubsmyshoul derov
er
hist
-shi
rtwi
thhi
schi
nandplacesi
tthere.
"
Yeah.I
'
m sur
e.Ineedt
ofi
ndmy
sel
fagai
nsoI
canbeanadequat
elyheal
thypar
tnerf
ory
ou"
"Youdoknowt hatIonlywantt hebestf
oryou
ri
ght?"
,hesaysinatonet hatsuggestst
hathe'
s
hopingthi
sissomethingIalreadyknowandam
cert
ainof.
"
Iknow.I
'vej
ustbeenneglect
ingalotthathas
t
odowi t
hmyper sonal
growthlat
ely,i
ncludi
ng
mybusi
ness"
"Whateveryoudecidetodoandwhi chever
boundariesyoudecidetoint
roduce,Iwil
ltr
ymy
besttosupportyou",helowl
ysayswi t
hhis
armsstil
l wr
appedr oundmeandhi schinonthe
shoul
der.
"
Thanky
ou"
,Iappr
eci
ateandr
ubshi
sar
m.
"Let
'sgetoutofbednowandgogety
ou
somethingtoeat"
"I
'
mi ndesperat
eneedforsomechickenmay
o
sandwi
chr i
ghtnow"
,Imimicacryandhe
l
aughs.
"Evenifyouwerecravingforaf
reshl
y
slaughter
edelephantyouknowI'
dgetitf
ory
ou
ri
ght?",hesay
sandIl augh.

.
..

[
Hour
slat
er]

Thedr i
vehomewasnotasbadaswhenwe
wer et r
avell
ingt oKZN.I thadanel ementof
awkwar dnessbecausewel lourrel
ationshipis
hangi nglightl
yint hemi ddl eofsepar ati
onanda
placeoff indingourwaybackt ooneanot her
.
Hedr oppedmeof fandsai dhe' sheadedt ohis
usual hotel t
ogetsomer estbeforehecoul d
drivet oJohannesbur g.Het henpeckedmeon
thelipsandpr omi sedt ocal l
.Igotintothe
houseandexpl ainedt omymot herthewhol e
ordeal andshedi dn'tknowf rom whichangl e
shewassupposedt ogr aspi tf
rom.AllIneeded
wasapr opernapsoIr esortedtothati
nstead
ofstayi
ngtomakeherunder st
andsomet hi
ngI
donotunderstandmy self.Weal l
knowwhat
theysayaboutthebl
indl eadingthebli
nd.

Mynapwasdi sruptedbyt healt

ercationt
hat
wasboi sterouslytaki
ngpl acesomewher e
betweent hekitchenandt helivi
ngr oom.Ittook
onlyafewsecondst olist
enformet oest
ablish
thatmyf atherwasi nt hehouseandasper
usual,t
heownerwasn' thappy.Idraggedmy
selfoutofbedandal lowedmyf eettofal
linto
mysl i
pper s.
"Yabel
aketlel
ekana.I
mmedi at
elyeti
mamo,
otl
obampy eng!I
nthedog!
"(Thekett
lei
sboil
i
ng.
You'
regonnabeindeepshxtonceit'
soff)
,my
motherl
ashedouttoapleadingSam.
"
Ntswel
emot
se.Gawapl
ant
angwana
kamo!
"(Getoutofmyhouse.Youdi
dn'
tpl
anta
chi
ldi
nhere!)
"Justoneminut
e.60secondsf
elat
hen.
..
",he
conti
nuedtobeg.
"
Youcanconv ertti
mebutyoucouldn'tconv
er t
y
oursel
ffrom beingadeadbeatt
oar esponsibl
e
f
ather
?!"
"Viol
etpl
ease.
..
",hewasaboutt
ogoonhis
kneesbefor
ehecouldseemeapproachi
ng
from t
hepassage.
"What
'sgoingon?
",myhal
f-
asl
eepsel
f
quest
ioned.
"Not
hingwort
hwaki ngupfor
.Thisonewasjust
l
eavi
ng",mymot herst
atementwasborder
li
ne
cal
m andthr
eatening.
"
Canwet
alknnana?Pl
easei
t'
simpor
tant
"
"
Whatlanguagedoy ouunder
standmarawena?
Whi
plashfi
rstaddi
ti
onall
anguage?!
",mom
i
nter
ject
edasIwasaboutt
orespond.
"Viol
etpl
easecal m down",
hecal mlyrequested
andmymot herlookedathiml i
keshewasone
secondawayf rom spit
ti
ngv enom str
aightinto
hiseyes.
"I
t'
sokaymama.I'
llspeakt
ohim",
Itr
ytobethe
cal
mt othest
orm onl
ytoearnt
hesamefur
ious
l
ookfrom mymother.
"Whathar
m canitdo?"
,Isayandraisesher
chestonl
ytodr
opi tasecondl
ater.
"Okaythen.Yourchoice.I'
l
lbeinmyr oom.
Scream ifhetri
esanythi
ngf unny"
,shei nst
ruct
s
andwal ks.Apartofmewnt edtolaughbutt he
i
ntensit
yoft hemomentwasnotal l
owingmet o.
Wewal kedov ertotheli
vi
ngr oom andt ookour
seatsonopposi ngcouches.Heswal lowedhard
beforehecouldspeak.
"Fi
rstofal
l
,letmeapologi
zef
oronl
yshowi
ng
upnow.Iwast ry
ingt
ogetint
ouchwit
hyouane
y
ourmotherwoul
dn'
tl
etme"
,andt
hat
'showhe
r
uinedhi
sapol
ogy.
"Yourapol
ogycomeswi thblameshif
ti
ngpapa.
It
'snul
landvoid",
Ist
ateandl ookaway.He
squashesthebluewashed-outNikecapinhi
s
hands.
"Also,
youonlyt
ri
edwhenInolongerneeded
you.Iwasalr
eadyagrownwomanwheny ou
tri
ed",
Isayandshootanunwaver
ingst
areat
him.
"
Ican'
ter
asethepastbabygi
rl
.WhatIcandoi
s
t
ofixt
hefut
ure"
"
AndifIt
oldy
out
hatmyf
utur
eisf
inewi
thout
y
ou?"
"Wearebothnotget
ti
ngyoungerTsotso.Idon'
t
wanttodi
eandleaveyouwit
hregret"
,hesay s
andIscof
f.
"
Regret
?Papayoumadethedecisi
ontokeep
y
oursel
foutofmyl
if
e,unpr
ovoked.Nowyou'
re
tr
yingtoinser
tyour
selfbacki
ntomyl if
e,
unprov
oked.Iam sorr
ybutacaringparent
wouldwishandspeakpeaceintotheirchi
l
d's
l
ifeandthat'
sexact
lywhatIhavewithoutyou,
peace"
"Ever
ychildneedsamal
efi
gur
engwanaka.I
knowI .
..
"
"Withal
lduerespect
,howareyouonlyreal
i
zing
thatnow?"
,Iaskandhesighs.Ev
ident
ly
speechl
ess.
"Iwasdoi ngjustf i
newi t
houty ou.Ev enwher eI
stumbl edImanagedt odustmy selfandgetup,
wi t
houty ou.Youhav enoi deawhatpai ncame
wi t
hl i
steningt omyt henf r
iendssay ingallsort
s
oft hi
ngsf rom " Papaonl atakakol oi
af t
erschool "
,"Papaonr eketse123" ,"Papaore
ABC" .Itwasn' tthemat eri
althingsIy earnedfor.
Ijustneededy ourpr esence.Iwoul d'v ebeen
fineandhappywi thy ouwal kingmehomebut
no, youchosewomenandboozeov erme! "
"Iwasir
responsi
bleandnowher
er eadyfora
chil
d.Iwasn'
tgoingtobeagoodfathereveni
fI
hadstayed"
"LehumoandIar
ealmostthesameagebutyou
rai
sedher
.WHY?",Ishotoutandhedr
oppedhi
s
eyes.
"I
twasni
ceseei
ngyoupapa"
,Ical
mlysayand
getupt
oleav
e,l
eav
inghi
mt her
e.

Igett
omyr oom anddialTumi
'snumbertovent
.
Heanswersbutonlytoletmeknowthathe
can'
ttal
kandpromisestocomeseemei nthe
eveni
ng.

.
..

"I
'
m outsi
de.Pleasecomesowecant al
k?"-
Kgokagano.TheSMSr eadsandIemptyoutmy
l
ungsi nexhaust i
on.Idr opt hephoneont he
couchandi nsertmyhandsi ntot hepocket sof
myni ghtgown.Mom i soutagai nwi t
hhernot -
so-hiddenany mor esweet hear t
.Thephone
ri
ngsmi nutesl aterandIdecl inet hecal l
."Sti
lat
thegasst ation",anothermessagecame
throughbutf rom Tumi .Iswi t
chedof fand
changedt hechannel .Moment slater,thefront
doorr eceivesaknock.Ii gnorehopi nghewi l
lgo
awaybuthebegi nsshout i
nghowhewon' t
l
eav et i
llhehasspokent ome.Ibegan
regretti
ngt heupdat eIupl oadedonI nstagram
praisingmymom' shomecookedsampand
tri
be.That 'swhatdef init
elylethim knowabout
mywher eabout s.Igetupbef oret henei ghbor'
s
startquest i
oni ngandst ampi ngt heirown
conclusions.
"
Whatdoyouwant
?",
Imakesuretosayt
hisi
n
t
hemosti
rri
tat
edwaypossi
ble.
"
Muzi
isnotwhoy
out
hinkhei
s",
her
epor
ts
withcert
aintyandIpushthedoort oclosei
t.He
pushesitbackandsay s"Pleaseli
stentome
BetsoIwoul dneverfor
givemy sel
fifsomet
hing
wast ohappent oyou",
histongueroll
soutall
thesewordsIwi shhecouldt akewit
handleave
mymot her'sdoorst
ep.
"I
sthisther
evengey
ouwer et
alki
ngabout?"
,I
askwithmyonehandi nmypocketandthe
otherst
eadf
astandreadyt
oclosethedoor.
"
No.Wellsortof
.Thepoi
ntis,
you'
remarr
iedto
amurder
er.Ihavepr
oof"
,hesaysandIf
reeze.
Howmuchdoesheknow?
"KGpleasegohomeandsleep"
,Isayandt
ryto
closethedoor
.Hepushesi
tbackonceagai
n.
"BetsopleaseletmeinsoIcanexpl ai
ntoy ou
whatI'mt al
kingabout?
",hebegsandmyey es
droptomyr abbi
tshoes.Whatproofisheev en
tal
kingabout ?Il
etgoofthedoorandhecomes
i
n, r
ubbinghishandstogetherasifhejustcame
outofar
efr
iger
ator
.
"Aren'
tyougonnaoffermesomecof fee?
",he
saysandwalkstotheliv
ingroom wherethe
consist
entback-
to-
schoolPEPadv er
twas
playi
ng.
"Gett
othepoi
ntwil
lyou?
",Isayandheset
tl
es
downonthecouch.
"RememberwhenIsai
dhesenthi
sbr
othert
o
dohisdi
rt
yworkforhi
m?"
"
Yesand?
"
"
Well
,Idi
dabitofdi
ggi
ngandfoundthat,t
hat
v
erysamebrot
herhadatwi
n",
heexplai
nsandI
f
eelt
hebloodi
nmyheartcl
ott
ingandfreezi
ng.
"
Okay
?"
"Thattwinwasmurderedbyhi
sownbr other
.
Yourownhusband",hestat
esasifhejust
crackedandsol
vedanancientmathematics
equation.
"
Wher
edoy
ougett
his?
"
"It
oldyou.Idi
dsomedi ggingandt hi
swhatI
happenedtostumbl
eupon.Hebeathi mt o
deathandthecasedisappearedintothi
nair"
,he
conti
nuesandIfeel
myt emplesstart
ingtoit
ch.
That'
snotwhatMuzi tol
dme.
"Thatcan'
tberight.
..
",Isayandhel ooksatme
funny.Befor
eIcanconf irm ordenyt oanythi
ng,
anotherknocksoundsf rom thefrontdoor.That
shouldbeTumi .Savedbyt hebell!Iquickl
yget
uptogogett hedoor .Icouldli
ter
allyfeelabit
ofhotpeeslowlylett
ingitselfoutwhenmyey es
l
andedonhi sface.
"I
'm sor
rytoambushy oul i
kethi
s.IknowIsai d
I'
llr
espectyourboundar iesandstuf
fbuty our
phonewasof fandIneededt otalktoy ou
beforeIcouldleave.Sthandwasami Ihonest l
y
fxckedupbysuggest i
ngwet akeabr eak.It'
s
nevergonnawor kf orme.You'reall
It hink
aboutandaf t
erever yt
hingthat'
shappenedI '
m
readytostartafresh.Idon'tknow,
we'l
ltake
babystepsorsomeshxtbutIcan' tal
lowust o
growapar tevenf ur
ther",herambl
eswithout
bli
nkingandal l
I'mt hinki
ngandevenpraying
aboutisthatKgokaganodoesnotcomeoutof
thatl
ivi
ngr oom.Het akesmyhandsintohi s
whenIst arttotearup.
"I
'
m sorr
y.Okay
.I'm deepl
ysor
ry.I
'
llt
ryt
ofxck
uplessandYOU'VEGOTTOBEKI DDINGME?!
"

UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t99.

Kgokaganoappearedfrom behindmeandMuzi
l
ookedast houghaghosthadt hrashedhim
wit
haboi l
ingslapacr
osshisf ace.Forthe
conf
oundingreasonthatmyi nv i
tedguestwas
nowbarechested.Whatonear thi shetr
yingt
o
achi
eve?
"Oh.It
'syou...
",hesaidandgaveMuzia
provocativ
esmi l
e.Ibi
tmylowerl
ipsohar
dI
begant asti
ngbl ood.
"Baby,
Iswear
.Idi
dn'
t.
..hear
ri
v edhere
announcedcl
aimi
ngt
ohav eproofthat
..
."
"Umtheth'
wakhoawul aleli
neboy ?"(
Youdon't
l
istendoy ou?)
,Muzi shovedhisfrustr
ated
sentenceintomine.Tumi arr
ivedwithabot t
le
ofgininonehand, ChickenLickentakeoutsin
theotherandadr oppedjaw.
"I
fit
'struethatIdon'twhat chugonndo?Beat
met oadeadpul pjustlikeyoudi dtoyour
brot
her? "
,Kgokaganosneer sfrom behindme
andIbur ymyf aceinmyhands.Muzi hadhis
eyeswidenedwhenIr aisedmyheadt olookat
him.Hepr obablythinksI '
mt heonewhot old
him aboutMbusowher easit'
st heotherbrot
her
that
'sbeingspokenabouther e.Ifanyofwhat
Kgokaganoi ssay i
ngist ruetheni twouldmean
Muzi ki
ll
edbot hbrothersbyhand?Muzi took
car
efulst
epsintothehouseandwentt
ost
and
i
nfrontofKgokagano.
"Warr
ishephening?",
Tumi fi
nall
yasks,
nonpl
ussed.Iignorehim andwal kovert
othe
twobeforeav olcanocoulderuptinmy
mother'
skitchen.
"Baby,
Iswear.Kgokaganoar
ri
vedher
e
announcedandsaidhe..
."
"Areyougoingtobeabletofi
nishwhat everi
tis
thatyouwanttostar
t?"
,Muziinterrupt
sme
againandhissesatKagano,
atcl oserange,
eyesonlock.
"Youbel
ongbehi
ndbars.I
'
dbedamnedi fI
all
owyouonemoresecondinBetso'
sli
feso
youcanhar
m hertoo"
,KGhissesback.
"Idon'
tneedy oursupposedprotect
ion.Takea
hintandleav
emeal one.Pl
ease.You'r
eruining
myl i
fe"
,IsaytoKgokaganowhosei mmedi ate
hurtbecomesev identt
hroughthemi r
rorofhis
eyes.Muziwassti
llsteadil
ystandi
ngther
e.The
wholescenefel
tli
kether eali
zeddej
av ut
hatit
was.Kgokaganoscoffedandwentbacki nto
theli
vi
ngandcamebackwi t
hhisheadsli
ding
downhiswhitet-
shirt
.
"Foryoursake,Ihopeyouwon'tbetheonehe
slaughtersnext
",hewarnst
omeandwal ksout,
getstot hedoorandgrabsthegi
nbot t
lefr
om
Tumi '
shandbef orehecoul
dmar chtohiscar
.
"Heyyoucan'
tjust
...
!"
,het
ri
eddefendi
nghis
abductedal
coholi
ccompanionbutIshookmy
headsoheletshim go.
"Ar
gheneedsi tmoret
hanIdoanyway!",
his
i
rri
tatedsel
fwalkswhi
l
emyi mpati
entself
waitsforMuzi
togetdoneonhisphonesowe
cantalk.Whoi
shecall
ing?
"Bafo,
wehav eaprobl
em",her
eportsand
rai
seshiseyestoacuri
ousTumithenwalksout
ofthehousetil
loncal
l
.Itr
ytofol
l
owhi m but
Tumi
pul
l
smeback.
"Ar
eyougoingtoexpl
ainwhatthehel
lisgoi
ng
onorshoul
dItakemyhalfofthewingsand
waitf
oryoutocal
l?
"
"Emanyanatuu!
",IsnapandgoouttoMuziwho
wassti
llonthephone.Isteponthemoistl
awn
andapproachhi
m.Thecal lwasoverwhenIgot
tohi
m.
"
Canwetal
k?Kgokaganosai
dsomet
hingIt
hink
y
oushoul
dknow"
"Notnow"
,hi
simpat
ientsel
fsay
sandshoot
s
off
.
"Whereareyougoing?!
",Iscr
eam tohisback
andscurr
ybehindhim.Hedoesnotr epl
y.He
i
nsteadcli
mbsintohiscarandspeedsof f.A
hugepartofmeisalmostsur eofhisstat
eof
mindbutanotherr
efusest obel
iev
ehewoul d.
.
..

Iwalkbacktot
hehouseandf
indTumi
sti
l
lin
theki
tchen.
"Imadeyousomechamomi letea"
,hesay sand
l
ift
sthecupanditssaucerintheair
.Iclosethe
doori
ndefeatandstandagainstit
.Irai
semy
browatthebott
leofredwineont hetable.
"
Wher
edi
dthatcomef
rom?
",Ii
nqui
sit
ivel
yask.
"I
noneoft hesecupboar ds"
,hesaysandwal ks
totheli
v i
ngr oom withthewi neandt heteapl us
thehugeandwi dewi nehi sfi
ngerhadcur led
around.Winei nmymot her'
scupboar d?Plus
wineglasses?Mymot herdoesn'tdrink.Heput
everyt
hingont hecar petanddi sappeareddown
thecorri
dor .Hecamet hecamebackwi t
hone
ofmyhi ghheel s.Iguessedt obeusedasa
cockscrewandIguessedcor r
ectl
y.Icouldn'
t
stoppacingupanddown.Myhandwasmov i
ng
todi
ff
erentpar
tsofmyfacewhi
l
etheot
her
hel
dont omyfatwai
st.
"Sitdowny ou'
remakingmedi zzy
",hesaidfrom
thefloorwithhi
slegscrossedandhi sheel
s
underneathhisbutt
,caref
ull
ybeatingthecork
stopperwiththebackoftheshoe.
Iexhaledanddroppedmy selfbuttf
latonthe
fl
oor.Hepushedt heteat owar dsmeandIt ook
asip.Itwasalr
eadycoldsoIspewedi tback
i
ntothecup.Tumi wasreal lyplayi
ngwi t
hhell
fi
re.Heusedmymom' sr espect edteacupand
i
shel pi
nghimselftoherwi ne.Idreadherarri
val
.
Hepushedt hebagofwi ngst owar dsmewhenI
didnotbudgewi t
ht hetea.
"Foodisnotgoi ngtohelpmer ightnowfri
end"
,I
sayandt akeoutofmyphonet odi alMuzi
's
number.Thephonewasof f
.Itriedmybestto
coverall
t hebadt hought
sinmyheadwi tha
l
argeblackgar bagebag.Tumi finall
ymanaged
togetaccesst othel i
qui
dtreasure.Hemade
sur
etopourhi
msel
fagener
ousamountofi
t
i
ntothegl
ass.
"
IfIt
ell
you,
promi
seyouwon'
ttel
l
?",
Icl
utchon
t
ight
lyt
omycell
phone.
"Nameonesecr
etofyoursoutofthemil
li
onsI
keepi
nmychestthathaseversl
ippedout
.Just
one"
,hesay
sandlooksatmewi thaboredface.
"Kgokaganowasheretotel
lmethatMuzi ki
l
led
hisbrot
herwit
hhisbarehands"
,Iexpl
ainand
heexplodesi
nlaught
er.
"
Outofal
lthest
untshe'
severpull
edthi
stakes
t
hecup",
hesaysandconti
nueslaughi
ng.
"Not hethi
ngi s,
that'
snotthev ersi
ont hatMuzi
gav emeaf terhekil
ledt
heonet hathad
kidnappedmeawhi leago",IsayandTumi
freezeswithhisli
psonhi sti
ltedglass.He
grabsther emovef r
om thecouch, pressesand
pointsitatme.
"
Iwasr
ewi
ndi
ng.Comeagai
n?!
",hesay
sand
empt
iest
hegl
assdownhi
sthr
oat
.
"I
t'
sal ongstor
y.RightnowI '
m wor
ri
edthathe
mightbeafterKgokaganobecausehe'ssome
sortofalooseendnow" ,Isayandgrabmy
upperlipwit
hmyt eeth.Thisi
nvol
untar
il
y
happenswhenI '
m nervous.
"Youcannotbeworri
edaboutKgokaganor
ight
nowwheny ourownl i
fewasi
ndangerandYOU
FUCKINGDI DNOTTELLMEBXTCH? !"
,heyel
ls
andIshutmyey es.
"Idi
dn'tbecauseitissomethi
ngIwanttofor
get
andnev errevi
sit
.Everagai
n",
Iemoti
onall
y
explai
nandhest andsuptocomesitnextt
ome,
drawsmei nt
oahug.
"Thi
sisnowayt odealwit
htr
auma.Idon'tcar
e
whatyousay.Youhavetoseeaprofessi
onal"
,
heempathi
zeswhi l
erubbi
ngmyshoulderwith
hischi
nonmyhead.
.
..

Mom sentat extandnot i

fi
edthatIshouldn'
t
waitup.Tumi andIcleanedupt heremnant sof
thewingsandt hedishest henwenttobed.I
kepttossi
ng, turni
ng,grabbingmyphone,
dial
i
ngandf orcingmy selftodobreathing
exerci
ses.Bot hMuzi andKgokagano' sphones
wereoff.Ihadoneopt ionleftt
oexhaustandI
wasgoi ngtousei t.Ididnotcarewhet herit
wasmi dnightornot .I
tr angandIcrossed
fi
ngers.
"
Manqobahi
"
"
Makot
i.Youshoul
dbeasl
eep"
"
Ukuphi
uMuzi
?"(
Wher
e'sMuzi
?)
"Don'tst
ressyoursel
faboutthat
.Got osl
eep
okay?Ngi phel
elwayi
batter
ylawe'l
ltal
k",
he
calmlysaidandshortl
ycutthecall
.Ifel
tli
ke
screamingmyr ibsout!
Thesunsetandi nvadedt hepr i
vacyofthenight
.
Iwasst i
llwideawake.Ir esortedtograbbinga
polarfl
eeceandwr appingitaroundmy
shoulderssoIcoul dsitont heedgeoft hebed.
Lyi
ngonmybackmadei tfeelasthoughI
couldn'
tthinkproperly
.Thephoneswer est i
l
loff
.
Thiswasnowwei ghi
ngheav i
l
yonmyhear t.
Tumi onthebedandexhal eddeeply.
"Howlonghaveyoubeensi
tti
ngthere?
",he
saysandIwipethesubt
let
earthatbef
ellmy
cheekandsnif
fl
ed.
"Icoul
dn'tsleep.Whati
fthey.
..
?Whati
fhe'
s
dead..
.?
",Iturninhi
sdir
ectionandy
elp
"
Tumi
whati
fmymani
sdead?
!"
"Whichone?
",heasksi
nwhatl
ooksl
i
ke
concern.
"
I'
m ki
ddi
ng.I
'
m ki
ddi
ng.Sur
elyhe'
sfi
ne"
"Thisisnott het i
meforjokes.Kgokaganoi snot
muchofgoodsamar i
taneither.Hehasagun! ",
Iexclaim andheget soutofbed, draggingall
theblanketswi thhim.Hecomest ositnextto
meandsay s"Look,evenifhei sdead, I
'M NOT
SAYI NGHEI S,butevenifhei s,si
tt
ingher e
call
inganddr i
vingyoursel
fnut sisnotgoi ngto
resurrecthim.Getsomer est.You'r
epr egnant.
Stopbehav inglikethi
sbodyi sst i
ll
y oursto
wreckwi thoutconsequences.Youcan' tlose3
peopleatonce. .."
,hesaysandweheart hef r
ont
doorunl ock.
"Quick.Getint
obedbef orey ouhavetoanswer
tomadam det ectivebecausey ouknowshewi ll
i
nst ant
lyseethatsomet hingisup",hesaysand
spreadsthebl anketsonthebed.Webot hget
i
nt obedandhecuddl esmef rom behind.The
doorshortlyopensf orafewsecondsand
closesafterwards.Wherei she?
.
..

Thepr ogressedint
otheafter
noonandt here
wasst il
lnosignfrom MuzinorKgokagano.My
stomachr epell
edheavil
yagainstfoodand
huggedont i
ghtl
ytothiscol
dunpl easantfeel
ing
thatjustwouldn'
tleav
emycor e.Icall
edThando
hopingshewoul dbeofsomeki ndofhel p.
"
Heysi
s"
"
Hey
.Ar
eyoust
il
li
nJobur
g?"
"YeahbutI '
mleavi
ngf orCapeTowninafew
hours.Ifonlyt
hishusbandofyourswoul
darri
ve.
Hepr omisedhe'dbebackbynowt ot
akemeto
theairport
"
"
Surel
yhe'sontheway .Iwasjustwonder
ingi
f
wecouldcatchsomel unchsometi
met hi
s
weekbutit
'sokay.Nextti
me"
"
Ncaaa.That
'st
hef
ir
stt
hingwe'
l
ldowhenIget
back.Ipromise"
,shesaidandIforcedapol
it
e
l
aughwhi chcameoutv eryweakly
.Weended
thecallandbynowt hebloodi
nmyhear twas
freezi
ng.

.
..

I
twasnowdarkandMuzi
'
sphonewasst
il
lof
f.
Thandowasonl
i
neonWhatsApp.
"Howwasy ourfli
ght?"
,Ipressedsendandshe
i
mmedi atel
yblueti
ckedthenstart
edtypi
ng.
Thenstopped.Thiscan'
tbegood.Shest ar
ted
typi
ngagain3mi nutesl
ater.
"
Itwasokay.Ial
mostmisseditt
hough"
,she
r
epli
edwit
hal aughi
ngemoji
.
"
Why
?WasMuzi
lat
e?"
"
NoIal
mostover
slept.I
fhedidn'
twakemeup
t
heni
twasti
cket
s",sherepl
i
edandjustt
hat
simpletextf
eltcathar
ti
cforme.Isighedin
rel
iefandwecont i
nuedwiththefr
ivol
ouschat.I
tri
edcall
inghim buthi
sphonewasst il
loff
.
May benothi
nghappenedbet weenhim and
Kgokagano.May behejustspedofftocoolhi
s
head.

Ipluggedi nmyphoneont hechar gerand

grabbedmyl aptopandmodem f ordist racti
on.I
hoppedev erysocial medi aabsent mi ndedl ytil
lI
l
andedi nmyemai ls.Idr ewmyheadcl osert o
thescr eenatanemai lIreceivedy ester dayin
theaf ternoon.Wi that tachment s.I twasa
scanneddocumentofwhatl ookedl i
keanol d
anddel api
dat eddocket .Plusar ecor ding.Itried
readingt hedocumentbuti twast oof adedand
oldf ormet oseecl ear l
y .Iplayedt herecor ding
i
nst ead.Ther ewer et wov oicesoni t
.An
i
nter rogati
v emal ev oiceandoneofaf emal e,
whowasv eryemot ional .
Hi
m:Yousti
llmaint
aint
hatthisi
sacommon
r
apecaseal
thoughyourfact
sdon'tcor
rel
ate,
ma'
am?
Her
:(Sobbi
ngandsni
ff
ing)
,YES!
Him:WhenIquest i
onedyouearl
i
eryousaidhe
cameinthrought hebackdoorandfoundyou
cooki
ngthenv i
olatedyou.Nowy ou'
resay
inghe
wasALREADYi nt hehouseandfoundy ou
cl
eani
ng.Whi chonei si
t?
Her
:(Sti
ll
sni
ff
ingwit
hat r
embl ei
nherv
oice)
,
Thi
swasat r
aumati
cexperiencef
orme.Idon'
t
qui
terememberwhathappened!
Him:Wel l
,I'
m gonnaputi
ttoyouthat
,youwere
sl
eepingwi t
hthismanunderful
lconsentand
nowt hathe'
sdeady ouwantt
ocrysexual
assault
!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t100(Unl
ockedbyPusel
etsoNat
ashawi
th
R99wort
hofdata)

Ipausedther ecor
dingandt ookadeepbr eat
h.I
ravagedthroughmyl aptopbagl ooki
ngfor
earphonessoIcanheari twel l
.Thefemale
voicereal
lysoundedf amiliar.Af
terpl
ugging
them inIrushedtopress' Play'
.
"I
'
m goingt oasky ouonemor etimetocome
outwiththetruth.Justsavethebothofusthe
ti
meandt hetroubleforyour
self
",t
heman
ster
nlycommandedandt heladycont
inued
sobbingandcr yi
ng.
"Keepdoingthi
sandy ou'llst
ayinjaill
onger
thanyou'
resupposedt o.There'
snot hingthat
canspareyouunnecessar il
yjai
ltimet han
cooperat
ingwit
ht hepolice.Workwi thme" ,t
he
mancont i
nuedtryi
ngtohaul t
het r
uthheso
muchbelievedtheladywashi ding.Icouldhear
herexhal
ing.I
ttookawhi
l
eforhert
ohearan
utt
erancefrom ei
ther
.
"Okay.Iwas.Iwassl
eepi
ngwi
thhi
m",
shel
owl
y
said.
"
Comeagai
n?Loudert
hist
ime?
",hepr
odded.
"
IsaidIwassl
eepi
ngwi
thhi
m!"
,shesnapped.
Gugu?
"Okay
.Star
tfr
om thebegi
nning.
..
",t
hemanI
assumedtobethedetect
ivesai
d.
"Ar
eyougonnal
ethi
m go?
",shesni
ff
edand
asked
"
Depends"
,hesai
d.
"Ithi
nkIneedalawyer
",shesaidandthe
detecti
vescof
fedandmut t
eredanindi
sti
nct
statement
.Quit
eacockyman.
"Sur
e",
hesai
dandtherecor
dingr eachedthe
end,wi
thmyhandonmymout h.Idon'tknow
what'
smoreshocki
ng.Thef
actt hatMuzi l
iedt
o
meorthefactt
hatGuguiscapabl
eofcheat
ing.
I
fthati
sherint
herecor
ding.
"
You'r
emar ri
edt oamonst er.Ican'tpossi
bly
makeallofthisup.Butknowi ngyou'll
probably
t
hinkall
thi
si sfabr
icatedwheni t'
sclearl
ynot.
Getoutofthatmar r
iagebeforeitistoolate.

0714563386( DetectiveThemba) .That '

st he
numbert odialifyoudon' tbeli
ev eme.Be
war nedt hough.Ther e'sahef t
ypr icetopayf or
histruth.Ifyou'dratherwast ey ourcasht han
j
ustpl ainlybel
ievemet henknocky ourselfout .I
l
ov ey ou.Alway swill
.",theemai lread.So
couldn'tjustwaitformet oreadt heemai l he'd
torockuponmymot her'
sdoor steplikethat ?
Impat i
ence.At ool ofsat an.Ilistenedt othe
recordingonemor et imet r
yingt oestablishi fit
i
sr eallyGugui nit
.Thewomanwaswayt oo
emot ional,beyondv oicer ecogni ti
on.
.
..

"Oyakae?Nnawai tsegakebonebor okokadiup

anddownt setsago?Osenkanal eeng
gone? !
"(
Wher earey ounowgoi ng?I'
m not
comf ort
ablewithalltheseupsanddownst hat
you'r
edoi ng?Whati sitthaty
ou'resear
chi
ngf or
withtheset oandfros?),mywor ri
somemot her
sai
dst andingatmydoorasIpackedmy
sui
tcase.
"There'
ssomethingi
mportantIreal
l
yneedt
o
attendto"
,Isayandpul
lthecasedownfrom
thebedandexhal ei
nexhausti
on.
"
Mnk!
",heexcl
aimedandshookherhead.
"I
'
llbeback.Ipr
omise",
Isayandkisshercheek.
Shepull
smei ntoati
ghtwarm hugandsays
"I
'
mr eal
lynotcomfort
ablewit
hyouleavi
ngbut
becauseyouneverl
ist
ent ome..
.Just
,dri
ve
saf
ely
",shesai
dandsi
ghed.
"Iwi
ll
mama" ,
Isaymygoodby
esanddr
agthe
caseout
.Igottot
hecarandt
hendr
oveof
f.

.
..

Ifi
nall
ygott oJoburganddr ov estraightto
Muzi'shouse.Irangthei ntercom inhopest hat
hewasi nsi
dethehouse.I fhewasn' tthenIwas
goingtowai tunti
lhecameback.Hewasn' t
aboutt oignor
emef orever .Irangitagai nand
thegatesl i
dopen.Igotint othecaranddr ove
i
n.Iwasaboutt oknockwhenheopenedt he
doorsomybenti ndexfingerwasl efthangi ngi
n
theairtil
lcommonsenseal ertedthatIshoul d
dropit.Hewasbar efootandt oplessi ngrey
sweatpant swit
hthewhi ter ubberbandofhi s
bri
efsexposed.
"
Hi?
",If
inal
l
ysai
d.
"
Ifyou'
vecomet of i
ghtthenIam notinthe
mood",hestatesandInot i
cehisblackeyeand
r
ippedli
p.Ibreatheout,
anxiously
.
"I
'
m not.I'
vecometoapologizeandsetthi
ngs
str
aight
",Isayandhekeepshiseyesonmef or
about10secondsbeforegestur
ingwit
hhis
handthatIcancomein,whichIdid.
"Youshouldn'
thav
edr i
venal
lthewayher
e.Can
Imakey ousomethingtoeat
?",hesay
sand
stopsi
nf r
ontofme.
"NoI'
mf i
ne.Ireal
lyneededt ot
alktoy ouand
youwereavoidingme", Isayandhekeeps
walki
ng.Wegett othecouchar eaandhedr ops
hiswholeweightononebl ackl
eathercouch
andsnif
fsli
keaf lu-
str
ickenpatient.Ialsot
ake
myseat.
"Kgokaganocametomyhouseandsai
dhehas
proofthaty
ou'r
enotwhoIt
hinky
ouareand.
..
"
"
Youev
err
espect
edmey
ouwoul
dn'
thav
egi
ven
hi
mt henti
meofdayt
operpet
uatehis
nonsense"
,hesay
swi
thandsneezes.
"
Youshoul
ddr
essmor
ewar
mly
",Isuggest
.
"Doyoufeelsaf
eher
e?"
,heasksandIf
rowni
n
conf
usion.
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"
"
Doy oufeel
safebei
ngher
e,wi
thme?
",he
r
eit
erat
eswithemphasi
s.
"I
'
veneverfel
tunsaf
ewi
thy
ou"
,Iassur
e.He
si
ghs.Thensil
ence.
"Idon'
tknowwhyheappearedtopl
ess.We
didn'
tdoanyt
hing.Inev
ert
ouchedhim",
Ifeel
theneedtosay.
"Iknow"
,hesaysandst
andsuptofetchhi
s
phonefr
om thegl
assst
andnexttotheTV
wherehewaschargi
ngit
.
"
Youknow?
"
"
Yeah.Heconf
essed"
,her
aiseshi
sey
est
o
mineaftersayi
ngthisandgoesbacktoty
ping
whateverhewasbef or
eIasked,st
il
lonhi
s
baref
eet.Atthi
spoint,
thecuri
osi
tyinmeis
dyi
ngtoknowwhatwentdownbet weenthe
doorofthem.
"Di
dyou..
.?
",Ican'
tbri
ngmyselft
ofini
sht
he
sent
ence.Heraiseshi
seyestomineonce
agai
nandkeepst hem t
her
ethisti
me.
"Beathimt
odeath?
",hef
eelsthi
sisthemissi
ng
piecetomysent
ence.Whi
chitwas.Inod
meekly.
"
No",hesay
sandIfeelsomethi
ngdr
opdown
f
rom myheartdownt
omyst omach.
"Idr
ownedhim",heconf
identl
ysaidandwait
ed
formyreact
ion.Ibl
i
nkedaf ewti
mesbeforemy
brai
ncouldr
esettonormalfunct
ioni
ng.
"
Whh..Whyistakingalif
esoeasi l
ydoablefor
y
ou?",Imanagetopiecet oget
herthequest
ion
t
hathasbeenringingatthebackofmyhead.
"I
t'
snot"easil
ydoable".I
fitwasIwoul
d'
vebeen
aseri
alkil
lerbuti
fitneedstobedoneIdoit"
,
hesaysandgoest ositbackonhiscouch.
"Yourbrot
her?Whathappenedther
e?"
,Iaskand
prayforadif
fer
entanswertotheoneIwas
expecti
ng.
"
Stopdiggi
ng.I
'mtryi
ngtobeupfrontasIcan
wi
thyoubutthat'
stoofar
",hesay
sand
Manqobawalksin.
"Yi
kes!Whathappenedt
oyou?
!Sawubonakoti
",
hesaystoMuzi t
hentur
nst
owardsmet ogr
eet.
"St
opclowni
ng.Sheknows",
Muzi
say
s,pi
cks
uphisphoneandstandsup.
"I
'mreall
ynotinagoodspacet odothisr
ight
nowsot hisonewil
ltakeyouhome.Leavethe
caranddriveinhi
s.I
'l
lbri
ngitl
ateror
tomorrow",hesay
sandwal ksout.
"
Let
'sgo"
,Manqobasay
sandIfol
l
owhi m out.
Wefi
rstt
akeoutmybagoutofmycarbefore
wecanl
eav
e.

[
Int
hecar
..
.]

Thesi
l
encewasawkwar
d.Lucki
l
yIwasseat
ed
att
heback.
"He'snotamonst ery ouknow? "
,hesay sand
mymi ndtr
ailsof f
.Bot hmyhear tandmi nd
knowt hathe'snot .Hecan'tbe.Hei skind.
Loving.Gener ous.Car i
ng.Compassi onate.
Responsible.That '
sthehimt hatIknow.Butt he
trut
hcanwr apupaheapofl i
esandv i
cev er
sa.
Hemi ghtnotbeonebutonet hi
ngf orsure,
thereisonet hatli
v esinsi
deofhi m.
"Yeah.Iknow"
,Ir
espondandashesteal
s
glancesofmeontherearvi
ewmirr
or.We
fi
nallyar
ri
veatmyhouseandhewalksmein.
"
Ify
ouneedany
thi
ng,
I'
m aphonecal
laway
.
Onlyifit
'sser
ioust hough.Cravi
ngsandall
,you
cansendy ourpeopl earound",
hesaysandI
l
augh.Bymypeopl ehe'ssurel
yref
err
ingto
Nombi andmyhi r
eddr i
v er
.Sheappearedf
rom
upstair
sandgr eetedusbot h.
"
Uber
ight
",Manqobasai
dandwal
kedout
.
"
Areyousi
ck?"
,Nombicur
iousl
yasked,
from
Manqoba'
spar
ti
ngst
atement.
"
It hi
nkI '
m comingdownonfl
uorsomet hing.
Arey ouokay ?Howhaveyoubeen?"
,Iopened
thefridgetogetsomewaterwait
ingforherto
respond.
"I
'vebeenalr
ight .Except,
I'
vebeenbuying
groceri
eswithmyownmoneysoy ouneedt o
rei
mbur seme", shesay sandIalmostchokeon
thebottl
edwat erduet olaught
er.
"Hai
bo!Who'
sbeeneatingthosegroceri
es?
",I
askandsheshakesherheadtoindicat
eto
i
ntentt
onegoti
ate.
"
Iti
syourhouseI
'
vebeent
aki
ngcar
eof
"
"ButIsenty
ouanSMSgivi
ngy
out
he
permissi
ontogohome"
"AndIdecidedt
ostayandtakecareofyour
house.Nowy ouoweme",shedefendsandI
conti
nuelaughi
ng.
"
Inf
actIshouldbetheonechar
gingyouf
or
r
ent
",Ij
okingl
ysayandshecomesdownf r
om
t
herestofthest
air
stohugme,laughi
ng.
"Imissedy ou",
shesay sandItel
lherthefeeli
ng
i
smut ual.Mymi ndtr
avelsbacktoevery
thingI
shouldn'tbet hinki
ngaboutmi d-
hug.Webr eak
andsheof f
erstomakemesomet hi
ngtoeat.I
agreeandpul loutthehandleofmycase.She
off
erst ot akeitandIallowthatt
oo.

Igettomybedr oom andtakeoutmycellphone.

Myf i
nger
spav ethewayst r
aighttot
hediall
er
andIstopforsomer eason.Istar
tpaci
ngup
anddownhi tt
ingthebackofthephone
conti
nuouslyonmypal m.Fxckit
.Idial
andit
ri
ngs.Itcount
ssecondst oshowthatit
's
answeredbutt her
e'snosoundcomingfrom t
he
otherend.
"Hel
lo?
",Igounresponded.Ther
e'snotevena
stat
ict
oshowt hatthenetworki
scompl etel
y
fi
ne.
"
Hel
l
oist
hisdet
ect
iveThemba?
",Iper
sist
.
"
Who'
saski
ng?
"
Somet
hingabouthi
svoi
ceshoot
sspi
kyshi
ver
s
downmyspine.

UNEDI
TED.

I
nser
t101[
Sponsor
edbySnet
hembaSnesh,
Didi
NeoBor
okoandRumbieWaMahoya]
Myv
oicesuddenl
ywentonani
mpr
ompt
ust
ri
ke.
“CanIhel
pyouMs?”,
heimpati
entl
yasks.My
gutscr
eams“Thi
sisnotagoodidea!
”
“
Ineedt
oasky ouaboutanol
dcasei
nvol
ving
t
hemurderofMrKhumalo”,
Igoon,
ner
vously
.
“
MrKhumalo?”,
ther
ewasasuddenpecul
i
ar
i
nter
estt
angl
edaroundhi
squest
ion.
“Yes.Hewasapparent
lymurder
edbyhis
brother
?”,
Iaskandheclear
shisthr
oat
.
“
Whoar
eyou?
”,heasks.
“
I’
m af
rai
dIcannotdi
scl
oset
hat
.Cany
ouhel
p
meornot?”
“Idon’tspeaktoghosts”
,heshar
plysay
sandI
startsweating.WhatwasIthi
nki
ng?
“I
t’
sokaysirthankyo…hell
o?Hello?”,hehad
droppedthephoneinmyear .Howr ude.Isuck
myt eet
houtofirr
it
ati
onandt hr
owt hephone
onthebedandi tbouncesonce.Ineedahot
shower
!

Theshowermanagedt oputal eashar oundt he

violentneckofmyner vesandi rri
tat
ion.Icalled
mymot herandwespokef oracoupl eof
mi nutesbef oreIcoul dheaddownst ai r
stohav e
somet hingtoeati nmyf reshpajamas.Nombi ’
s
handi sr athertoost rongwheni tcomest othe
fabricsof tener.Shel i
terall
ydrownst hecl ot
hes
i
ni t.Theonl ythingonmymi ndwasf rozen,
mi xedf rui
ty ogurt.Thecr avi
ngwasv ery
distracting.Igott otheki t
chenandf ound
Nombi seatedont hetablehavingasandwi ch
withherey esgl uedonherphonescr een.
“I
sthatsupposedtobemysandwich?”,
Iask
pl
ayful
lyandshelaughst
il
lshechokes.
“
Youwer
etaki
ngf
orev
ernawe”
,shet
ri
ed
j
ustif
yingandIshookmyheadwhi l
esear chi
ng
thefri
dgeformydesir
eddel i
ghts.Ther ewasno
yogurt
.Ifel
tmyheartcrackslowlybef oreit
couldcrumblei
ntofor
tysevenpi eces.Myey es
beganwet t
ingupandIquickl
ywi pedt hem.
“Hawu.Kwenzenj an?”(
What’swrong? ),
Nombi
askedaswi thamout hful
l
yoccupi edbybr ead.I
quicklyshookmyheadt ofal
selyindicatet
hat
nothingwaswr ongbutIwashur t.Shetooka
sipfrom herglassoforangejuicebef or
eshe
couldcomest andbehindme.Iclosedt he
fr
idgeandputmypal msagainstitforsupport.
Shepl acedherhandonmyshoul derandgent l
y
squeezedt r
yingt ocomfortme.
“Di
dIsaysomethi
ngwr
ong?”,
sheaskedin
concer
nandIshookmyheadandsni
ffed.
“I
sitbecauseIateyoursandwich?I’
ll
makey ou
anotherone?”
,shesuggestedandIshookmy
headoncemor e.Thetearsfel
ltothefl
oorand
atthatver
yinstant
,apati
entknocksounded
from t
hedoor.Nombiyell
edfort
hem toent
er
andIquicklywipedmytear
sandsni
ffedaway
theblockageinmynose.
Muzipushedthedooropenandt heway war
d
Nombistart
edr ambl
ingabouthowhemadei t
i
ntimeandt hatIwascryi
ng“hyster
ical
l
y”over
asandwichthatsheate.
“Huh?”,Muzi wasbeyondconf usedwhenhe
placedmycarkey sont hetable.Hethenl etout
asmi l
e-i
nfusedsighandt ol
dNombi “He’l
l t
ake
i
tf r
om here”.Shepickedupthepl at
et hatIwas
apparentl
yhy st
eri
caloverwithherjui
ceandl ef
t.
Hethenpul
l
edmei
ntoahugandbr
ushedmy
ar
ms.
“
Siphel
il
eisi
nkwayi
nkant?”
(I
sthebr
ead
f
ini
shed?),
helowl
yasked.
“
Idon’
tknow”
,Isai
dandsni
ff
ed.
“Ngi
yothengaesi
nye?
”(Shoul
dIgobuysome?
),
heaskedandIshookmyhead.
“Ial
way shav eyogur
tinthefri
dgebutnowi t
’s
notthere”,t
hemor eIspeakthemorer idi
cul
ous
Isoundt omy self
.Iwasmor ecal
mert hanafew
moment sago.Theheartbr
eakwast here.If
elt
i
t.Everydel ofi
t.
“Okay .Lemmedr iv
et othegarageandgoget
youacoupl eoft ubs.Ist hatokay
?”,t
hemanner
i
nwhi chheaskedal mostmademyhear tmelt.
Almost .Forsomer eason,ital
sosomehow
tr
igger edallther easonswhyi tshoul
dn’
t.I
pulledaway ,wipedt hecornersofmyeyesand
clearedmyt hroat.
“Thankyouforbringi
ngthecar
”,Imanageto
saybutthestatementmadesuretocomeout
asawkwar dl
yasitcould,t
otheverybestofit
s
abil
it
y.Hesighedandaskedm tocomewi t
h
him upst
air
s.
“
Afterev
ery
thingal
lyou’
rethi
nki
ngabouti
s
f
xckingme?”,
Itakemajoroff
ense.
“Youknowv er
ywellthatifIwasser i
ousabout
fxckingyouIwoul d’
v e.Ri
ghtont histable
count er
”,hestatesandpoi ntsatitwithhisey
es.
Myl adybitsdoev er
ythingbutbehav e.Isuckmy
teethandl ookaway .Het akesmyhandand
start
swal kingwithme.
Whenwegett othebedr oom,
hemakessur eto
al
lowmet owalkinfir
standclosesthedoor
shut
.Wewal ktothebedandgetseat edafew
cent
imeter
sapart.Her ubshi
shandt oget
her
andblowsheavyairouthismouth.
“Afteryouleft
, Igottodoal otofthinki
ng.Al lI
dolat el
yisfxckupwi t
hy ouandIam notpr oud.
EverythingI
’m doi ngmi sali
gnswithev erythi
ngI
saidatt healt
er .Eversincewegotmar r
ied,it
’s
alway sonedr amaaf terthenext.
Sthandwasami Ihavefail
edy ou,okay?Ihav e
fai
ledy ouandIneedy outof or
givemesowe
canst artaf
resh” ,heexpressesbef oreslightl
y
shifti
nghisbodyi nmydi recti
onandt akingmy
l
efthandi
nbot
hofhi
sver
ycol
dones.
“Pl
easetel
lmethetr
uthabouty
oursel
f?”
,Isay
andinsi
stonl
ooki
nghimintheeye.
“Iam notacol
d-hear
tedmur
der
er.Ij
ust
…”,
he
sighs.
“Didyour eall
ydr ownhi m?”,Ihadt oask.He
purseshi sli
pst oget herannodsaf ewt i
mes.
Wow.Somet hi
ngaboutt hi
shur ts.Iwonder
whathi slit
tl
esi stermustbef eelingr i
ghtnow.
Theywer er eal
lycl ose.Really,reall
yclose.
Samewayhi m andThandoar eifnotmor e.
Whi chisthemostbaf fli
ngpar tbecauseIknow
howmuchhev aluesf ami l
y.Whyi sitsoeasy
forhimt otakeawaypeopl ef rom theirs?Hi s
smi l
eflashesinmymi nd.Hislaught erdistantl
y
ri
ngsi nmyear s.I t’
smyf aultthathei sdead.I n
allhonesty,Ididnotknowhowt ofeel.Icared
abouthi m.Inevitably.Hislov eformeul ti
mat el
y
equatedi nhisdemi se.Ilookupt other oofasif
i
twaswhi speringt heanswer sthatIneeded.I
l
oveMuzi.Withallmyheart
.Butbei
ngt
iedt
o
whoandwhathei s?Wil
lIevenknowhi
m?
Compl
etely?Ibri
ngmyey esdownandt
heyfal
l
tomyfl
uffygreyshoes.
“
Saysomet
hing”
,hepl
eadsandIr
aisemyey
es
t
ohim.
“
Yourbr
other
?Whathappenedt
her
e?”
,Iask.
“Idon’
tknowwhattotel
lyoubabybuthewasa
sick-
mindedper
ver
t”
“
Whatdoy
oumean?
”
“Canwenotgothere?Please.Askmeany
thi
ng.
Justnott
hat
”,hesoft
lysaysandIdropmy
chest
.
“
Howmanymor
epeopl
ehav
eyouki
l
led?And
why
?”
”
Onl
ytheonesy
ouknow”
“Someoneisal
waysgoi
ngtobeaftery
ou.For
onereasoni
fnott
heother
.Peopl
ewhol i
veli
ke
youdoev ent
ual
l
ydiebythesamecorr
upt
pri
nci
plesyoubel
iev
ein”
,Isayandhedropshi
s
eyes.
“Idon’twanttobecaughtinthecr ossfi
re.WE
don’twanttobecaughtinthecr ossfi
re”,Iadd
andr ubmyt ummy.Hewasst i
l
lsilentast he
graveshehadpr ematur
elypavedwayf or.
“I
’vebeenafr
aidoftheconsequencesofour
breakupfortool
ongbutIcan’tbewi t
hy ou
anymore.I
fonlytheceremonyhadwor kedthi
s
wouldbealoteasier”
,Isai
dandhef r
owned
“Whatwouldbeal oteasi
er?Youaccepti
ngthat
I’
m gonnadie?LookIdon’tminddeath.I
’
ve
shakenhandswithitalotmorethanyouthi
nk.
Whatscaresmei s…Betsodidyouevenlove
me? ”
,heaskswithhiseyeshalf
-shut
.
“Nobodydeservestodiei
nthehandsof
another
.Kgokaganodidn’
tdeser
vetodi
eli
ke
that
”
“Yousawmeki l
lMbusoandy oust ayed.Iam
notpr oudoft hisbutIhav etoask.Thi si smor e
abouty ouri mpor tantext hani tisaboutme
actuallykill
ingpeopl ei sn’tit
? ”,hesay sandIr un
l
owonst r
engt htoargue.Hel etsgoofmyhand
andscof fsbef orehecoul dfindhi swayout .I
am tired.Inev erysenseoft hewor d.
Emot ionally.Phy si
cally.Ment all
y!Iam t ired!
What ev erdecisionIt akewi l
lcountagai nstme
somehowsomay bethi sisfort hebest .May be
him believingt hatIstil
l loveKGwi lluntiet his
spir
itual notbet weenusandmakehi s
ancest orsunder standt hathecanl i
v ewi thout
me.Idon’ twanthi mt odi e.Hel lthatwoul dt ear
meapar t
.Bey ondr epairev en.Ican’ tli
vewi th
him.Att hesamet ime, Ican’ tlivewi thouthi m.

…
Af
terMuzil
eft
,Icl
imbedint
obedandcr
iedmy
ey
esout.Il
ovehim.Badl
y.Ir
eal
l
ydo.Wret
hatI
fel
twasacombi
nat
ionofr
egr
etandthefeel
i
ng
oneusual
l
yget
saft
erdoi
ngwhat’
sri
ght.
Thenextmor ni
ng,Iwokeupandr ant
othe
bathr
oom tothrowup.Iwasf eel
inghotand
col
datt hesametime.Afterr
insi
ngmymout h,
I
dashedtothebedroom andpickedupmy
phone.Ichangedmymi ndwhenmyf ast
scrol
l
ingreachedhisname.
“No.No.Wecandot hi
s.Byour sel
ves”,Isai dto
thebabiest ryingtocalm my selfdown.It henI
call
edDrMasi ngit
ainsteadandshescol dedme
fi
rstformissi ngmyappoi ntment .She
eventuall
yagr eedt osqueezemebutsai dI
shouldbeatherpr acti
ceint henext45mi nut
es.
Ididasinst r
uct edandwasdr iventhere.She
saideverythingl ooksnormal andreiteratedt he
do’sanddon’ t
st hatshealway smakessur eto
bombar dmewi ththrought ext.Ihavenev er
seensuchahandsondoct orbef ore.Wehav ea
beautif
ulrelationship.SayingIam comf ortable
aroundherwoul
dbet
hebi
ggest
underst
atement
s.
Whileonthewayhome, t
hetopt hi
ngonmyl ist
ofshortt
erm pri
orit
ieswastakingoffmybr a.It
wassqueezingandsuf f
ocati
ngme.Whatv exes
memosti sthatit’
soneofthenewones.
Meaning,I
’veputonmor eweight.Thatdidn’t
stopmef r
om getti
nghomeandst uff
ingmy
faceevenfurt
her.Myscaleisthelastthi
ngIam
worri
edabout.
NombiandIgotintoami nial
tercat
ionbecause
Iwasi
nsisti
ngoncl eani
ngthewholehouse
mysel
f.Ihadtodosomet hingtogetMuzi out
ofmymi ndother
wiseIwasgoi ngtowatch
mysel
fdrowni nathickpi
tofinsani
ty.

Hecall
edthenextdayandIrej
ect
edthecal
l
s.I
t
i
sbett
erthisway.Hecall
edagai
nandI
t
hreat
enedtomov eoutandchangemynumber
i
fhepersi
sted.Hethenstopped.Fr
om t
here,I
sl
owlymetastasi
zedintoaprof
essi
onalcouch
pot
ato,
wellversedi
nt hesci
enceofbei
nga
homebody.

[
SOMETI
MELATER]
Ifi
nall
ymanagedt ocar rymyheav yselftothe
outdoorstoday.Ihadn'tseent hesuni nal most
aweek.Imi ght'v
egi venbi r
thatanypoi ntbutI
bravel
ydecidedt ori
ski t.Ihadtospeakt o
speaktohim.I tcouldn'twaitanylonger .None
ofmyshoesf i
tmeany mor eexceptf orthese
otherwhit
eslidesIgoti nabiggersizebecause
thestor
ewasoutoft hem andIr eall
yliked
them.Myl uckwi t
hthem r estsintheelast i
c
bandtheyhav eont hesi dessot heystretchand
myheel doesnotov er l
apbecauseasIsai d,
they'
reonesizebigger.Thedr essIwaswearing
mademel ookli
keahi ppobutIdeci dedonit
becauseitmademef eel comfortabl
e.I
t'
sa
knee-l
engthfl
aredresst hatonlyhugsmef r
om
myboobsupwar ds.
IgottoMal oconandgr eet edSamant ha.She
excit
edlygr eet edmebackandpai dmea
compl i
mentonmyski n.Ev erythi
ngel seisa
messbutev ersi nceIfel l
pr egnant,myski nhas
beenpr ogressi v el
yimpr ov i
ngwi thti
me.Ij ust
hopeIwi llgett okeepi tpost partum.I
proceededt ot heel evatorandmademywayt o
hisoffi
ce.Thedoorwasopen.Isuddenl ybegan
developingint ensener v es.Whatam Igoi ngt o
saytohi m?Howi shegoi ngt oreact?Ihav en'
t
spokent othi smanf oraheav ywhilenow.I
exhaledandpr oceededwal ki
ng.Igott othe
doorandt her ehewas.Hi sof f
iceisalway s
spotl
essandcl ean.Justl i
kei t
'sowner .I
watchedhi m pl aywitht hesi l
verpeni nhisleft
hand, perfectl
ymat chinghi sshinyweddi ng
band.Hi sey eswerebur i
edi ntohislaptopwi t
h
hisotherhandcr ui
singt het ouchpad.Onl yhe
canr ockabasi cblackandwhi tesui tt
heway
onlyhedoes.Hesl owl yallowedhi mselftofal
l
ont hebackr estofhischai randonl ythendidhe
rai
sehi sey estosee.Ihel dont i
ght l
ytot he
handlesofmybagwi thbot hmyhandsand
swal l
owed.Hi sfacewaspl ainblank.Icouldn'
t
fathom from itwhet hertocomei nandr unback
tomypl acewhi l
eIst i
llhadt hechance.
"
Hh.
..hi
",Isai
dasIcar
eful
l
ywal
kedi
n.
"
Hh.
..hey
",her
esponded.
"CanIcomein?
"IaskedasIst
oodafew
centi
meter
sawayfrom t
hedoorf
rame.
"You'
ret
echni
cal
lyinal
readybutsur
e",
hesai
d
ashegotupfrom hi
schair.
"You.
..y
oulook.
..
",hesaidbefor
egivingmea
hugthatIcer
tai
nlywouldn'
thavereceived
shouldhehavegivenhimsel
fami nut
et othi
nk
aboutit.Hehadchangedhiscol
ogne.Itri
ed
taki
ngitinbuthebrokethehugandledmet o
thecouchwithhislef
thand,wi
thhisotherhand
onhisneck.Webot htookaseat.Iwassti
ll
clut
chingontomyhandbag.
"
Uyaphi
l
a?"
(Ar
eyougood?
),heasked.
"YeahI
'mfine.Howareyou?
".Iaskedandhe
openedhismouthtospeakbutwhateverhe
wantedtosayfoundawaytoreturnback.
"Howar
ethebabi
es?"
,heaskedandt
hen
somber
lybi
thi
slowerl
ip.
"Iwenttoascany esterday.They '
reheal thy
".He
gavemeaf aintsmileandnodded.Asl ender
youngmanwal kedandsai d"Sorrytoi nterr
upt
sirbutyourmeet i
ngst artsin6mi nutes.Hel lo
Mr sK".Hespeakssof ast.Ijustfi
gur edhei s
theP.A.Iwasnotev engoi ngt oaskwher ehe
knowsmef rom.Muzi bri
eflyinspectedhi s
watchandsaid"
7minutes.Thankyou"
.Thel
ad
thenwal
kedout.Hebr
ushedhi sl
owerthi
ghs
befor
ehecouldhol
dont othem f
orbal
ance
befor
estandi
ngup.
"
Aw.
..
",Isai
dandhel
dmyt
ummy
.
"
Arey
ouokay
?",
heasked,
looki
ngwor
ri
ed.
"I
'mf i
ne.I
t'
sjust
,theykickt
oohar dsometimes"
,
Isaidandtri
edtostandup.At otalf
ail
.Heheld
outhishandsforhippotobalance.Ist
oodup
andhesaid"CanIf eelt
hem?", wi
thhal
fa
teaspoonofeagerness.Myey esli
tupforsur
e.
"Yeahsure",Isaid.Hesof tl
yplacedhishandon
myhuget ummyandaskedi ftheykickatthe
samet i
me.Isai d" barely"andhecont inued
try
ingtotracef oraki ck.Theoneont heleft
alwayskicksl i
keit'
st ryi
ngt obreakopenmy
tummy .Hef eltitandIsawani nev
itablesmil
e
growonhi sf ace.Afteritstopped,hesai d
"Thanksforst oppingby ".InoddedbecauseI
di
dn'
tknowwhatt
osay
.
Hegr abbedhi
sjacketandbutt
onedituponce
wit
honehandandhadt heothergr
abhis
cel
lphonetoplaceiti
nhispocket
.
Hegr
abbedhi
sdeskphoneanddi
all
ed.
"YeahDuke,pl
easemakesur eachickenmay
o
sandwichandguavajuicearedeli
veredtomy
offi
cethi
sinst
ant?Thanks" ,
hesaidand
grabbedatwofil
esfrom hisdesk.Hest i
l
l
remembersmymosti ntensecr
avings?
"
Aft
ery
ou'r
edoneeat
ing,
pleasecl
osethedoor
f
orme?"
,hesai
dandthenwalkedout
.

UNEDI
TED
I
nsert102[
SPONSOREDBYKhany
isa
Ngqumetyana]

Muzi
lef
ttheof
fi
ceandIf
eltmy
sel
fexper
ience
at empor aryemot i
onal par alysis.Isuf f
ereda
mi nistrokeandsawi tbestt opul lhischai rsoI
cansi t.He'sprobablyf edup.Iwoul dbet oo.
Lastni ghtwhenIwasi nIhadasuddenchange
ofmi nd.Iwanthi m andev er ythingt hatcomes
withhi m.I '
m wil
li
ngtor i
dei tthr ough.IfIdi e,I
die.Ilov ethi
smanandev erypar t
icleofai rhe
breathes.Ist i
llwanttospendt her estofmyl i
fe
withhi m.Ther e'
snof or mul aef orthislifething.
Icouldst ayawayfrom t hi
nki ngi nf earofdeat h
thengetshoti nabankr obber ygonewr ong.
Deathi sal waysunerring.Ify ou'ret hetarget ,
theny ou'rethetargetfort hatday ,momentand
second.Wel l,
I'
m hopingi ti snott ool ate.

Aladyi
nawhi tesui
tandr oyalbluestil
ett
os
walksi
nwi t
hat r
ayinherhandsandaf i
le
bal
ancedoni t
'swoodenside.Beautifulwomen
makesickthesedays.Especial
lytheseones
wit
hInstagr
am bodies.I
'
venev erbeenonet o
beinsecureaboutmy sel
fbutrecent
ly,
the
mirr
orhassucceededi nbecomingmywor st
enemy .Thebeautyofanotherwomani snotthe
absenceofyourown.Mymot herrai
sedme
wit
ht hesewordsandmyconf i
dencestoodfir
m
bal
ancedagainstthem.
"
Ohhell
o?",
shewarml
yday
sbef
oreput
ti
ngt
he
t
rayonthetabl
e.
"Hihowareyou?"
,Igr
eetbackandwe
exchangepl
easant
ri
es.
"Youworkinthecaf
eter
ia?
",Ihadt
oask.The
outf
itr
aisedacoupl
eofquestionmar
ksinmy
head.Sheimmediat
elyl
aughed.
"Ohno.Ibumpedi nt
oDukei nthehal
lwayand
heaskedthatIcomei nwi
tht hi
sbecausehe's
neededintheboardr
oom.Iwasact uall
ylooki
ng
forMrKhumalo",sheexpl
ainsandInod.
"Bongiwebytheway,
headofmarket
ing?
",she
extendsherhandf
orashakeandIst
andupt o
r
etur
nit
.
"Boi
kokobet
so, Mr
sKhumal o",
Isayandthe
smil
eonherf acewidens.Shehasreal
l
y
beauti
ful
hai
r.
"Alr
ightthen.I '
m gonnal eav ethisher e.Please
tel
lhimt ohav eal ookati tandt hengetbackt o
mebef oreendofbusi nesst oday ",shesay sand
Inodi nappr oval.Shet henl eav es.Herl egs?
Theper fectpai rforthatt ypeofahi ghheel .
Evenherener gyiswar m andat tractiv e.Aroach
ofjealousycr eepsupf rom bet weent hef ol
dsof
mybr ain,thebr andambassadorofi nsecur i
ty.I
squashi tquicklybef oreitcoul dcausef urt
her
damage.Idonotwantt obet hatwoman.I '
ve
neverbeenandIam notgonnast arttoday .I
pulloney ell
owst i
ckynot efrom t hebl ockpile
thatwasi nnocent lyplacedonhi sshi nydesk
andpenBongi we'smessagedown.Ist ickit
downont hebl ackf il
eshel eftandgr abmybag.
Isuddenl yfeltli
keIwasov er st
ay ingmy
welcome.Igottot
hedoorandt
urnedbackto
getmyfood.Itwasscr
eamingf
ormysaliv
ati
ng
tast
ebuds.

.
..

Igothomeandf oundNombi feather

-dust
ing
thetvarea.Thewasacool breezecomi ngin
andIfeltli
kethecurtai
nsweren'topenenough.
Theafternoondarknessint
hel i
vingroom was
thecauseoft hi
s.
"
Sawubona",
shesaidwhenIdumpedmy
wei
ghtonthecouch.
"
Hey"
,say
ingt
hisf
eltl
i
keataskandahal
f.I
wast
ooti
redt
oevenspeak.
"Bel
unj
aniusukulwakho?"
(Howwasy ourday?)
,
shepersi
stedandIjustt
oldheri
twasfine.She
noddedandconti
nuedhummi ng,car
ryi
ngon
wi
thherj
ob.
"Pl
easedomeaf avourandcalli
nt hemasseur.
Iam notcoping",Isaidtoherandshenodded
wit
hurgency, st
eppingclosertothehouse
phone.Theintercom rangandNombi att
ended
toi
t.Myearswer ealsotir
edtoev enfunct
ion.
"Yourfr
iendsarehere.ShouldIletthem i
n?"
,
sheaskedandi f
rown."Fr
iends?",Iaskedwho
andsheexpl ai
ned.Iwasn'ti
nthemoodt o
enter
tai
nanyguest sbutIhadt oletthem i
n.I
tol
dhert ocancelthemassagewhi l
eshewasat
i
t.

Br
idgette,
Tlhogi
,TumiandAgneswal kedi
n.
Withsil
verandtr
ansparentheartball
oons
wri
tten"Hotmommat obe" .Theyalsohad
dr
inks,boxesofcakeandtonsofsnacks.
"
SURPRI
SE!
"
"
OhmyGody
ouuguy
s?!
",Isai
dindi
sbel
i
efand
tr
iedtostandup.Tlhogi
helpedmeupbef oreI
coulddeplet
eallofmystrength.Iwalkedlikea
penguin,
huggingeachandev eryoneoft hem.
Theywereallexcit
edandspeaki ngatthesame
ti
me.
"Sosorr
ywecoul dn'
tplanapr
opershowerfor
youdollourschedul
eskeptcl
ashi
ngandand
and",
Tumi explai
nedandmyemot i
onalsel
f
nodded.
"EnhleandGugucoul dn'
tmakei t
,ki
ds.Butthey
bothsaidImustgety outhisvoucherinthe
What sAppgroup",Tumi handedmet he
envelopeandIt hankedhim ."Wewant edtoget
yousomegi ftsbecausey ourmom wasagai nst
i
tandsai dit
'sbetterwesendy oumoney
i
nstead",Tumi saidandopenedt heciderbottl
e
i
nhi shandwi t
hhi steeth.
"Soindecorousl
yrat
chetofyou",Isayandher
repli
eswithaquickanddismissi
v e"Bxt
ch
please"
.Weal ll
aughasBridget
teplacesthe
dri
nksinthef
ri
dge.Agneswast
heHODoft
he
snacks.
"I
t'
snot hi
ngmuchbutwej ustwantedtocome
spendt i
mewi t
hy oubef
orethewaterbroke",
Tlhogisaysandhugsmeami dstt
heindi
stinct
chatter
ingcombinedwit
hlaughsbehindus.
"Thisi sf i
ne.Thanky ouguys.I'
mr eal
izingnow
howmuchIneedt hi
s.Imissedy '
all
",Isaywhil
e
sti
ll holdingont ohim.Sincetheweddi ng,our
rel
at ionshipslowlymani f
estedintoaf ri
endshi
p
throughWhat sAppstatusesandrandom v ideo
calls.Ilikehim.Hehasasane, wiseheadonhi s
shoul der s.
"
Hey.Getyourownbest
fri
end!
",Tumi
say
sand
weall
laugh.
Isi
lentl
ysear
charoundforNombiwithmyeyes
butshewasnowher etobefound.Iwashopi
ng
shecouldjoi
nus.Shedidn'
tst
ri
kemeast he
shytype.
"Leeyakho"(
Thisoneisyours)
,Br
idgetsaysand
displ
aystheorangecart
onofmi l
kshef oundi
n
myf r
idge.Shesaysandthewholehouse
l
aughs.Ismi l
eatheri
ndef eat
.
"Ndiyadlal
a.Ndiyadlal
a.Andithiawusel
iwenaat
themomentbaba?I '
vegoty oumna.Ina.Nantsi
eyakho"(Becausey oucan'tdrinkatt
hemoment ,
here.I'
vegoty ou),
shesay sandhandsmea
bottl
eofAppl eti
ser.Itakeit
,unabletoresi
st
l
aughi ng.
"I
ttast
esabi tl
ikewi ne.Ihadt
oimprovise
kal
ok",shesaysbef oreandputsthel
astbott
le
ofthebrutal
fruitofthepackinthefr
idge.
"
Thanky
ouboo"
"Doyouhav eanicebucket
?",
Tumisay sandI
shakemyhead.Her aidsmycupboardstofind
acontainerhugeanot
hertoaccommodat ethei
r
dri
nks.Iaskedtobeexcusedtogoinvit
eNombi
butsheinsist
edshedidn'
twanttoi
ntrudeno
mat
terhowmanyt
imesIsai
dshewasn'
t.

.
..

Bridgettewasal readydrunkanhourl at
erafter
theirarrival
.Shedashedhergi nwi ththe
Appl eti
serthatwasmeantf orme.She' sa
speci albreedofhuman.Wespentt hewhol e
afternoonwhi l
ingawayandpl aying30seconds.
BridgettehadherheadonTl hogi '
sthighs.
Every onewasnowei therbarefootorintheir
halfsocks.Thei rcompanywasappr eci
ated.It
wasal lcalm andchi l
l
edv i
besandt hatshowI
l
ikedi t.
"Havey
oupackedyourhospi
tal
bagyetbabes?
Tell
mey ouhav
e",
Agnesasksandtheyal
l
gawkatme.
"
Iwasn'
tev
ent
hinki
ngabouti
ttobehonest
",I
r
epl
y.
"
Whatdoyoumean?Youcoul dpopatany
momentf
rom now?",Tl
hogi
exclai
msandI
r
eal
i
semyr eckl
essness.
"
I'
ll
gett
oit
.Tomor
row"
"Ohforgetit
.I'
l
ldoi
t.Ican'
ttr
ustyouwi
th
anyt
hing",Tumisay
sandweal ll
augh.
"
Butapar
tofmewant
sawat
erbi
rt
hyaz"
"
Why
?",
Bri
dget
teasks.
"Wat
eri
scal
mingforme.It
hinki
t'
l
lhel
pagr
eat
deal
wit
hthel
abourpai
ns"
"Ifeelforyou.Ineverwantt
ogot hroughthat
hellcall
edgi v
ingbirt
hinmyli
f e.I
t'
sanear
deathexper i
ence.Irememberwhen. .
."
,Agness
rambl esinnocentl
ybefor
eBridgett
ecan
i
nter r
uptwi t
ha" Ci
maCi maCima! "
(St
opstop
stop).
"
Whyarey
ouscar
ingher
?",
Bri
dget
teaddsandI
l
augh.
"
CO-ASK.Likewhatt
hehell
?",
Tlhogi
foot
sint
o
mydefenseaswell
.Iam v
erysureAgnes
meantnoharm.

.
..

Eveningdar knesscrepti
nandev eryonepacked
thei
rownf arewell
snackandal cohol package.
Nombi camedownanddi nnerpr eparedbyt he
chef.Theyt ooksomeoft hattooandt ri
edt o
scam meofmyTupper war econt ainers.I
shovedt heicecream onesi nthei rfaces.My
i
nstincttoldmet okeept hem andt hatthey '
ll
comei nhandysomeday .Peopl edon' tret
urn
Tupper ware.Theyjustdon't.Bridgettepulled
measi deandaskedaboutMbuso' s
wher eabouts.Shehad2cupsofcof feewhi ch
managedt osoberherupabi t.Itriedmybestt o
remai nasnat ur
alasIcoul dandaskedwhyshe
i
slooki
ngf
orhi
m.
"Thefxckerisghosti
ngme.Hel egi
t
disappear
ed.Idon'tknowi fhechangedhis
simcardorwhatbutIdon' tthi
nkso.Ifi
twasme
hewasav oi
dingthenhewoul d'
vesimply
blockedme", sheexpl
ained
"
Him andIwere..
.we'r
enotcl
ose.Heprobabl
y
wentbackoverseasandmovedonwithhisli
fe.
Dothesame"
"Moveonf r
om af i
redxck?Gurl?!
",sheexcl
aims
i
nalmostawhi sper.Imanaget oforcealaugh
andbrushheroff.Theconversati
ont hen
for
tunat
elyevaporatesi
ntotheair.
TumiandIstoodoutsi
dethegatebiddi
ng
goodbyetothesquadastheyhootedanddrove
off
.Bri
dgett
ehadt obefet
ched.Herhusband
hashishandsful
lwit
hher.

"
Thanki
ngf
orsl
eepi
ngov
er"
,Ihughi
m wi
thone
handaswewal
kedsi
debysi
det
othehouse.
"Iwasn'
taboutt
opayf orahotelwhenmyri
ch
housewif
eofabestfr
iendli
vesinasucha
mansion"
,hesaysandIlaugh.
"
Tsekdon'
tcal
lmet
hat"
,Isayandhel
aughs.
Mymindsomehowwandersof
ftoMuzi
.
"
Youokay
?",
henudgesgent
lyandasks.
"Ineedyoutotakemesomewher
e",
Isayand
her ol
l
shiseyes.
"
Youmeannow?
"
"
Yes.Butfi
rstIneedt
otakeabat
h",
Isayand
r
ushupstai
rs.

UNEDI
TED
I
nsert103[
SPONSOREDBYLer
atoOt
eral
Maleswena]
Igoti ntotheshowerandqui cklymademy sel
f
cleanandputsomewar m cl
othesov erwhite
andl acyunder wear.Helovesseeingmei nitso
any t
hingt oscoremeext rapoints,
that '
sifhe
willl
istentil
lthatpoint
.Ispri
tzedonmy
favour i
tecologneandmoi sturi
zedbyl ipswith
someBl ist
ex.Makeupwasgoi ngtowast emy
ti
me.Iopt i
mi st
ical
l
ypackedanov ernightbag
andmademywaydownst air
s.
"Areye"
(Let'
sgo),Isai
dtoTumi
,
hyperventi
l
atingbecauset
hest
air
sdot
aket
hei
r
tol
l onme.
"Mm.Yousmel lli
ke,agoodcombi nat
ionof
rosesandberr
ies",Tumi saysandstandsup
withaplat
einhandwhi t
echewing.Hislips
wereoil
yfrom chi
cken.Hewenti nt
otheki t
chen
andwashedhishands.Af t
erwewer edone, we
walkedtothecarwhi chwaspar kedoutside.
"Ar
ey ousur
eaboutt
his?
",Tumi
askedbef
ore
gestart
edthecar
.
"Yeah.Lif
ei stooshorttonotwakeupi nmy
man'sbed" ,Isayandst r
apont hesafet
ybelt
.
Hegi vesanaught ysmi l
eandsay s"Whenyou
getthere,pleasetel
lhim Iam get
tinga
certi
fi
catelami nat
edandat rophyforhi
sdxck",
hesay sandcl apsonce.Icouldn'
thelpbut
l
aughoutl oud.Wedr ovetoMuzi'
sandhe
parkedout sidethegate.
"
Shoul
dIwai
tfory
ouor?
",Tumi
asks.
"Idon'
tknowwhattoexpectsoI
'
lluberbacki
fit
blowsupinmyface"
"Callhi
m andt
ell
himt
oopenbeforeIcan
l
eav e",
hecommandsandIsmil
eathisconcer
n.
Itakemyphoneanddial
hisnumber.
"
Hey",alazi
l
ysaysasi
fhej
ustgotwokenup
f
rom deepsleep.
"I
'
m outside.Pl
easeopenf orme?",
Isayand
squeezemybut tcheekstoget
herhopi
ngthathe
doesn'
tturnmeaway .Hegoessil
entforaver
y
bri
efmomentandsays"Okay
".Thegateshor
tl
y
sli
desopenandIsaymygoodbyestoTumi
thr
oughthewindow.
"Ihopeyou'renotweari
ngful
lpanti
esunder
there?
",hegravel
ysaysandpointsatmy
priv
ates.Iexpl
odeinlaught
er.
"
Pleasegoaway
",Isay
,st
il
ll
aughi
ng.

Igetandwal
ktothefr
ontdoor.It
akea
cal
culat
edanddeepbreat
hinbeforeknocki
ng.
Heopensthedoorbef
oreIcouldknock.
"Canwet al
k?",
Iaskandhelooksatmebef ore
hiseyesfal
lonmyov er
night
.Idartmyey es
aroundinsli
ghtembarr
assment.Henodst hen
pressestheremotef
orthegatetoclose.Iwal
k
andclosethedoor.
"Yougood?
",heasksandt
urnst
olookatme
bri
efl
y.
"
I'
mf i
ne.Oshar
pwena?
",Iaskandhesay
she'
s
f
ine.
"
Arey
ouhungr
y?"
"
NoIj
ustat
e"
"Okay.Mindcomingwithmeupstair
s?Iwas
kindaint
hemi ddl
eofsomet hi
ng"
,hesaysand
takesouthisphonef
rokthepocketofhi
sblack
j
eanst oseewhowast ext
ing.Hethenpl
acesit
backandl ookst
omef orananswer.
"
Nopr
obl
em"
"CanIt aket hat?"
,hepointsatmybag.Inod
andhedoes.Wewal kupt hestairsandIf oll
ow
from behind.Hi sstepswer esubtleand
undetectedashewaswal ki
ngbar efoot.Weget
i
nt othebedr oom andhesay s"Ijustneedt o
sendacoupl eofemailsthenI'
llbeal lyours
okay ?"
,thent uckshislowerli
pbeneat hhis
uppert eeth.TrustmewhenIsayhewasn' t
ev entr
y i
ngt obeseduct i
veatal lbutsomet hing
aboutthatmomentmademewannathrow
myselftohi
m sohecandowhat
everhewished
tome.Inodandheplacedt
hebagdown.

.
..

Iwaslyingonmybackont hebed,playi
ng
gamesonmyphonewhi l
ehewasbusy .The
si
lencewasn'tawkwar datal l
.Contr
arytowhatI
expect
ed.Het henunexpect edlycl
osedthe
l
aptop,gotuptopulltheot t
omanandcamet o
si
tinfrontofme.Igott hemessage, gotupand
satupri
ghtwithmylegsi nbet weenhis.He
l
ookedmest r
aighti
nt heey eandsaid
"
Whatar
ewedoi
ng?
"
"
Whatdoy
oumean?
"
"
Act
uall
yshh..
",Iadded.It
ookhi
shandsandl
et
mychestr
ip.
"Idon'
tcare.Idon'tcar
eanymoreabouty our
past,whatyou'v
edoneandev er
ythi
ngelsethat
hastodowi thit.Il
oveyou.Mntungwa,Mbulazi
,
Mzili
kazikaMashobana, Zi
kode.
..
",hetr
ied
conceali
ngasmi l
ebutIcouldseeit.
"Ngiyak' thandababa.Kegor atakapel oyame
yotlhe.Pl easef orgi
veme.Asmuchasy ousai d
youf ai l
edmeasahusband, Ial soequallyfail
ed
youasawi fe.Ishould'vestoodbyy ouand
trustedy ouast heheadoft hehouse.Ihav ea
terri
blewayofshowi ngitbutIr espectyou.
Dear l
y .Ther e'
snoot hermanf orme.Thi sfact
i
swr itteni nmyhear tandal soi nt hestars.I'
m
thankf ul foryou.Iam her etost ay.Evenifit
takes500t housandapol ogi
esf oryout oforgi
ve
me.Ij ustneedy outopr omisemeonet hing.No
mor eki l
l
ings",Isayandl ookhim deadst rai
ght
i
nt heey e.Weshar e.mut ual staretil
lhenods.
Hest andsandpul l
smeupbymyhands.He
placeshi shandsonmyt ummyandhi s
f
oreheadagai
nstmi
ne.
"Il
oveyouwoman.Somuchi thur
ts
someti
mes",hewhisper
sandIshutmyey
es
whenheplantski
ssonmyf or
ehead.

[
REMOVED]

.
..

"
Goodmor
ning"
,Igi
ggl
eitoutandhel
aughs
t
oo.
"Hawu.Uhlekanmanj
e?"
(Whatar
eyoul
aughi
ng
atnow?),
heasks.
"Di
dn'tItel
lyouit
'srudetostar
eatsomeonein
thesleep?",
Iaskwithmynecksl i
ghtl
ytwi
sted
soIcanl ookathim becausehewasbehindme,
withhishandwrappedar oundmyt ummy.
"You'
remywoman.I '
l
lst
arewheneverIf eelI
needtostare.Whetheri
tisinarest
room, in
church,
inbedordur i
ngaf ami
lymeeting",he
saysandIlaugh.Iwasabouttoreplywhenwe
bothfel
ttwokicks.
"Didyoufeelt
hat?
",hesaysinawe.Igi
vea
closedsmileandnodinagreement.
"
Aretheygonnadoitagai
n?"
,heaskswhi
l
e
t
ryi
ngtotraceanot
herone.
"Yeah.Hopef
ull
y.Gi
vei
tamoment
",Isayandi
t
happensagain
"Thesearesomev iol
entkicks.I
'
dsaywe' r
e
havingsoccerstarsincli
chebutI '
m convi
nced
you'recar
ryi
ngr ugbyplayersbaby",hesay
sand
Ilaughhyster
icall
y.
"Pregnancysui
tsyou.Youshouldal
waysbe
pregnant"
,heunexpectedl
ysaysandIt
ell
him
nottogetanyideas.
"
Theonl
yti
meI
'
m get
ti
ngpr
egnantagai
nis
whentheseonesar e13year
sol
d",Iadd.He
l
aughsarrogantl
yandsays"We'
l
lsee".He
conti
nuestonibbl
eonmyneckandIknow
exact
lywhathe'sthi
nki
ng.

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t104(SPONSOREDBYTshi
diChadi
ba
Ramango)

Nothingfil
lsmyhear tthant hemer ef actthat
I'
minmyman' spr esence.Ev enwhenhe' snot
speakingtoashewoul dbebusywi thhisown
stuf
f,thefactthathei sthere,withme, is
enought osingle-handedl ypaintalltheinner
wall
sofmyhear twi t
haspeci f
ickindofr ed.
Everyonewhoi smadl yinlovewi thaman
wouldattesttot hef actthatev enrunninghis
si
mpl eerrandsi sexcitingfory ou.Wespentt he
wholedayi ndoor sandweobv iouslycouldn't
keepourhandsof feachot
her.Aft
erajoi
nt
shower ,weheadeddownstairstomakefood.
Thei ni
ti
alagreementwasthatwe'llmakeit
togetherbutmyl azybumsendedupj ust
keepinghim companyashemadeuphut hu.I
kil
ledtimewithsomei cecream.

Ihaddoubt
sabouttel
l
inghi
m butIwentahead
andsai
dargwhattheheck.
"Bri
dgett
ewasaski ngaboutMbuso'
s
whereabout
s",Iinf
ormedandhedidn'
tturnt
o
l
ookatmebutt hehandmanagingthespoon
stoppedmoving.
"Whatdidshesay
?",
heaskedandcar
ri
edon
sti
rr
ing.
"Thatheghost
edherbutshedi
dn'
tsound
convinced"
"
Whatdi
dyousay
?"
"Thatheprobablymovedbackt ohisplaceand
mov edonwi t
hhisli
fe"
,Iexpl
ainedandIhear d
him si
gh.Heclosedthepotandcamet ostand
i
nf r
ontofme.Het urnedthechairsothatIcan
facehim andthenpl
acedbothhi shandsonmy
cheeks.
"
Sthandwasami
,Idon'
twantyouget
ti
ng
i
nvolv
edinmymess.I'
m sorr
yyouhadtol
i
eli
ke
t
hat"
"I
t'
sokay
.Ij
ustwantust
oputev
ery
thi
ngbehi
nd
usandmoveon"
"Iknow" ,hesul
lenlysai
danddroppedhi sey
es.
Apar tofmewant edtoaskhi
m aboutt he
recordingbutIknewi t'
dbenodif
ferenttobe
throwingt hewholemoodintoasewagedump,
soIleti tgo.

.
..
Thel ovesickpuppythatgoesbythenameof
Violetcal
ledandIwassohappyt ohearher
voice.I'
m happywithMuzi butI
'
llf
oreverbemy
mot her'
sbaby.
"Mpotsi
sengwanaka"
(Guesswhat
?),she
excl
aimedasthoughshehadsomething
shocki
ngtotel
lme.
"
What
?"
"TherealreasonwhySam washer e.Heowes
peoplemoney .Hecamecl eant
oday "
,shesay
s
andclickshert ongue.Muziwasmassagingmy
feetconcentratingonthetel
evi
sion.
"Soithadnothi
ngtodowit
hmakingamends
withme?",Idon'
tknowwhythi
schi
ppedof
fa
pieceofmyheart.
"He'
sabl oodyskel
emaotsebakenna
aker"
(He'sacrook.AskmeIknow),
she
soundedlikeshewascooki
ngbecause
somethingwasboi l
i
ngint
hebackground.
"
So,
didy
ougi
vehi
mthemoney
?",
Iask.
"Ketsubamat
ekwanenar e?
"(Si
ncewhendoI
smokeweed?),sheaskedandal i
ghtl
augh
escapedmyli
ps.
"Droppadroppa.Key owafounaRobert
"(
Cut
thecallt
hisinst
ant.Rober
tiscal
l
ing)
,she
hastingl
ysaid,r
ushingmetocutthecal
l.
"
Kanawaj
ola"
,Isai
dandshookmyhead.
"Goj
olakehlogoyammagowautwa?"
,shesai
d
andIbur
stedanimmedi
atel
aught
er.

.
..

Icoul
dn'
tresi
stMuzi '
sfi
nestructur
eafterlunch.
Iwasfeel
ingful
landheav ybutIsti
llr
odehi m
onthecouch.Ipl
ay edmyselfbecauseafterthat,
hewantedmor eandhomegi rlwasti
red.I'
m
al
waystir
ed.Iactuall
ycannotwaittogivebirth.
Weendedupupst air
sandIf ell
asleepatt he
endofital
l.Igotwokenupbyacal lf
rom Tumi
sayi
nghehast ogobackt owor kandt hathe'
s
l
eaving.If
eltbadbecauseitfel
tli
keInegl ect
ed
him.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
ri
end.Imeantt
ocomebackand.
..
"
"Ohstopit
.Idon'
tmind.I
t'
snotl
ikeIwould
chooseyouoverdxcksoall
'
sfai
rinloveand
men",henonchal
antl
ysaysandIlaugh.
"Butyoudooweallthedet
ail
sthough.Kerele
theanglei
nwhichyouhadthoselegsrai
sed
wankwa?Ineedtohearyousayobtuse",he
addsandIchuckl
e.
"Mmm Icaneverf
eel
yourwi
rel
essbl
ushi
ng"
,
hecont
inuest
omockme.
"
Ohst
opi
t"
,Isayandl
aughsomemor
e.
"Look,Nombi andIorganizedyourhospit
albag
today.Ther
e'severy
thingy ouneedinthere
unlessifIl
eftsomeatt hecounter"
,hestates
andmyhear
tmel
ts.Il
ovehi
m.
"
Thanky
oubabes"
"
Cool
letmegetgoi
ng.I
t'
sget
ti
ngdar
k"
"
Shar
p.Dr
ivesaf
ely
"
"
Wil
ldo.At
ri
ll
i
onki
sses"
"Il
ov eyoubxtch"
,Isayandweendt hecall.Il
if
t
mylegsof fthebedandintoMuzi'
sslippers.I
switchedont hesi
delampandwenti ntothe
ensuitetopee.Atextcameinonmyphone.I
hadl ef
titi
nthebedroom.Iwipedandwentt o
att
endt oit
.

"There'
saf i
restart
ingdownst ai
rs.Pl
easedon't
comedownt ill
Ihavei tsorted",
Muzi'
smessage
readandmybr aindidn'tknowwhi chpanic
buttontopressbecauseIhav emany.Igrabbed
hisrobe,putitonandr usheddownstair
s.My
subconsciousmi ndkeptex pect
ingtosmell
somesmokebutt herewasnothi
ng.Isti
ll
proceededwithmyt r
ipandIfoundtheindoor
picni
chehadsetup.Ther ewerecandlesont he
fl
oorandt heli
ghtswereoff
.Aredv el
vetythrow
wasl ai
doutinplaceofthecoff
eetablethat'
s
supposedt obeintheli
vi
ngroom.Hewal kedin
andsaid"Aha!Ihopenowy ouseemypoi nt"
"Whatpoint
?Whendi dyou.
..
?Baby?!
",Iwas
get
ti
ngemot ional
,l
iket
heemotional
messt hat
Iwasrecentl
y.
Hegav
emeabunchoffreshl
ycutandt
ied
r
osesf
rom t
hegar
denandIsmeltt
hem.
"
Ist
hist
hef
ir
e?"
"Yes.Thisisthefir
ethatIspecifi
cal
l
ywarned
youagai nstandasusualngobaawuzwa, you
sti
lldisobeyedaclearanddirecti
nstr
uct
ion"
,he
said,shookhisheadandki ssedmeonmy
forehead.Icouldn'
tstopl
aughing.
"
Butt
hat
'snotf
air
.Whati
fitengul
fedy
ouor
somethi
ng?Ishoul
djustsi
tupst
air
swhile
you'
redownheregett
ingi
njur
ed?"
,Idef
end.
"
Awuzwa.Fi
nishandkl
aar.Nodiscussi
on.No
mphi
ki
sano"
,hesaidandIlaughed.
"
Somet
hingsmel
l
sni
ce"
"Imadeyousomel
ambcur
ry.And,
ther
e's
desser
talso"
"
Mmm.Andt
hati
s?"
"2loafsofbreadand4bi gtubsofy ogur
t"
,he
teasesabouttheemot ionalbr
eakdownIhadat
thehouseandIex plodeinlaught
erand
playf
ull
yhithischest.Ismeltmyrosesagain
and..
.
"
Muzi
?",
Isai
dandhungmymout
hopen.
"
Yesmommy
?",
hel
ovi
ngl
ysai
d.
"MUZIKAYI
SE!
",Isayandi
mmedi
atel
ygethi
m
alar
med.
"
Yinbaby
?",
hesay
sandput
shi
shandsonmy
wai
st.Irapi
dlyshakemyheadandsay
"
Somet hi
ngiswr ong.
..
"

UNEDI
TED
I
nsert105(SPONSOREDBYAkeelah
Ki
ng,AyandaSiyamthandaMt
himuny
eandSi
we
Nel
isi
weNy ambo)

Asharp,qui
ckbutstabbingpai
ntr
avell
eddown
myspinethenstopped.Ihel
dmyt ummyand
bentf
orward,keepi
ngbalancebyholdi
ngonto
Muzi'
shand.
"Babywhat'
sgoingon?
",hesai
dwi
thobv
ious
apprehensi
on.
"
Doyouneedtosi
tdown?"
,hequeri
ed.I
r
obust
lyshookmyheadwhenthepai
ntrav
ell
ed
t
omylowerabdomenandsett
ledt
here.
"
Woza,
cany
ouwal
k?"
(Come.
..
)
"
Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
",Iasked,
sti
l
lbent
.
"I
'
mt aki
ngyout
othehospi
tal
",hef
ir
mlyst
ated
andIshookmyheadagai
n.
"I
'mfinenow.Itstopped.I
'
m onlydue
somewher enextweek.That'
swhatMasingit
a
sai
d.DrMasi ngi
tasaidI'
m duenextweek"
,I
rei
ter
ate.
"
That
'sf
ine.Iam st
il
ltaki
ngy
out
othehospi
tal
"
"Nonono.Ican'
tgi
vebir
thnow.Ican'
tAHH!
!!
",I
yel
ledinextr
emeangui
sh.Thi
scan'
tbe
happening.
"Babyngenzenmanjecauseyou'
rei
npainand
youdon'twantt
ogot othehospi
tal
?",
hewas
slowl
yslippi
ngi
ntopanicmode.
"Mm-mm!Shhh!
!",
Icommandedf
orhi
mto
shutt
hef
xckup.
"Thi
sisnormal.I
t'
sjustfal
selabourpai
ns.Ij
ust
needami nut
e.It
'l
lpass.Rel
axFilwe.Br
eathe
i
nnn..
.andout",Imademy sel
ftakebr
eat
hing
exer
cises.I
t'
stheonlyt
hingthatmadesense.
"OhmyGodIt hinkIam peeing",
Isaidand
placedmyl egsapart.Hetookouthisphone
withhisr
ighthand.Iwasst i
llti
ghtl
yholdi
ngon
tothelef
t.Iwonderedwhohewascal l
i
ngbut
hadabsolutelynodesiret
oask.
"Enhl
e?HowdoIknowifBetsoisi
nlabouror
notbutIt
hinkshei
s.Whatdo.
..What
?"
"
HowdoIknowi
fit
'snotdi
schar
ge?
"
"Ofcour
seIknowwhatdi
schar
gel
ooksl
i
ke
but.
..
"
"
Okayf
ine.I
'
llcheck"

Heendedthecal
landheldont obothmyhands.
Hesl
owlystar
tedwalkedtowardsthecouch
wi
thmeandaskedmet ositdown.Heundid
t
herobeandpull
eddownmypy jamapants.
"Whatareyoudoi
ng? "
,hedidn'
tanswerme.He
proceededt
opulldownmypant i
esand
i
nspectedit
.Theli
quidwasst i
l
lslowlysi
ppi
ng
outanddownmyt highs.Ipl
acedmyhandson
myt ummyhopingtosomehownul l
i
fythepai
n
andt hr
ewmyheadback.
"I
tlooksl
i
kegel.I
t'
salsoabi
tpi
nk.Pi
nki
shr
ed"
,
hewasont hephoneagai
n.
"
Soi
t'
sti
me?
".
"Okay",hesai
dandcutthecal
l
.Hethen
searchedaroundandpi
ckeduphi
scarkeys.He
fi
xedmycl othesandpi
ckedmeup.Iam not
ready.

.
..

Thepai
nsweresti
l
ltherebutabi
tcal
merthan
whenwelef
tthehouse.Itwasgr
iml
ycol
d
outsi
debutIbeganf eel i
ngl ikeIhaveaf ever.
Wegott othehospi t
al parkingandIwas
wheeledin.Muzi wentt obookt omei nandI
wasal l
ocatedaroom.Not hingwascut e.
Nothingwasador able.Not hingelegantatthat
point
.Ithoughtthecont ractionswerejokingbut
theygraduall
yint
ensified.Muzi camei nwi ththe
doctorandshegr eetedme.
"
Howarewefeel
ing?
",sheaskedandIshook
myheadandl
ookedtheopposit
eway.Anurse
wal
kedi
nshor
tly
.
"Iunderstand",shesy mpathizedandasked
whent hecont r
actionsbegan.Muzi explai
ned.
Thenur sehandedmeahospi talgownand
askedt hatIchangei ntoi
t.Thedoct orleftand
promisedt obeback.Muzi gent lyhelpedmeout
ofthepy jamasIcamei nandi ntot hegown.I t
waswar mi nsi
dethehospi tal,unli
keout side.
"Di
dyoucal
lmymom? ",Iaskedhi
m andhesai
d
hecal
ledt
hem bot
h.Thedoctorcamebackand
pl
acedthearm cuf
far
oundmyl
azyandsl
othf
ul
hand.Af
tershewasdone,
"Okay.Ri
ghtnowIam goingt ogaugehowfar
dil
atedyouarebefor
ewecanpr oceedwi
th
anythi
ngokay?,sheexpl
ained.
"I
'
m gonnaneedy outor aiseyoulegsli
ket hi
i
ii
s",
shepati
entl
yexolai
nedwhi l
esheslidmyl egs
upandapar t
.Sheinserttwof i
ngersinmy
openi
ng,tookthem andt ookoutsomet issue
fr
om theboxont hesidet owipeherhands.
"You'r
enotr eadyforbi
rt
hyet.I
'
llcomecheckon
youlater
",sheinformedandlef
t.Muzicameto
thesidemyheadwasf acedandpulledt
he
chairtosit
.Hehel dmyarm andaskedhowI
wasf eel
ing.
"I
'minpain.I
t'
sget t
ingworseandIam
apparentl
ynotreadyt ogi
vebir
th",hewast
here
whent hedoct
orexpl ai
nedbutIsomehowfelt
theneedtosayi tsoheunderstandswhatI
'
m
goi
ngthrough.Helookedhear
tbr
okent
hatI
wasinthatstat
e.
"Can'
tyouor
ganizeawaterbi
rt
h?",Iaskedhi
m
andhebithi
slowerl
ipt
houghtful
l
y.
"Idon'
tknowbabylet
'ssee",hesai
dand
pressedthenur
secal
l but
ton.Thenur
secame
backandaskedwhatwaswr ong.
"
Doyougivewat
erbi
rt
hsatt
hishospi
tal
s?"
,
Muzi
asked.
"Nope.Peoplewhopr eferthosenor mallydo
them athome.They requi t
er i
sky.Justhangi n
therekuzodlul
aokay ?We' veallbeenher e",she
saidandsqueezedmyshoul der.Ijustlai
dt here
unresponsiv
e.Kgantshosai dlabourfeel l
i
ke
menst r
ualcrampsmul ti
pli
edby10.Shel i
ed.
Thepai ni
sexponent i
allywor se.A100woul d
almostcutit.I
twouldgi vehal famar k.Muzi
stayedwithmei nther oom, brushingmyback
andt ummyi nalt
ernation.Hewasf eeli
ng
hel
plessandcoul
dn'
thi
dei
t.

.
..

Thedoct
orcamebackanhourl
atert
ocheckon
me.
"Howarewef eel
i
ngnow? ",
sheaskedandf
ixed
herst
ethoscopearoundherneck.
"
Ican'
ttakeitanymore"
,Isai
dandMuzi
askedi
f
t
herei
sn'tanythi
ngtheycangiv
eme.
"FornowIwouldn'
tsuggestanydrugsand
epidur
als"
,shesai
dasshei nser
tedherf
inger
s
i
nmeagai n.
"
Sti
l
lnotdi
l
ated"
,shesai
d.
"Ineedyoutobeabi tacti
ve.Couplethatwi t
h
breathi
ngexer
cises.I
twor ksforsomepat ients.
Daddy ,
we'
regoingtoneedy ourhelp.Please
walkherdownthecor ri
doranddownt hestair
s
twice.Encour agehertobr eatheandcome
back",shei nstruct
edandMuzi noddedmut l
iple
ti
mes.Shel ef
tandhehel pedmei nt omy
sli
ppers.Het henputtherobeov erthehospi tal
gown.Hehel dmyhandandwewal keddown
thecor r
idorsl owly
.Wegott othestairsanddi d
whatt hedoct orsuggested.Igottir
edaf t
erthe
fi
rsttri
al andwant edtogoback.Hel i
stened
andwewal kedback.Iaskedhi mt ocal lNombi
soshebr ingsmyhospi t
al bag.

.
..

04h25

Thedoct orcamebacktocheckmydil
ati
on.The
l
ookonherf acegavet
hefactt
hatshewas
unsati
sfiedaway.Iwasnowsweati
ngand
exhausted.
"Yourcontract
ionsar egett
ingworse,
y our
amnioti
csacbr okebutI '
m nothappywi t
hhow
slowl
yy ou'r
edilat
ing.I'
m goingt
ohav eto
i
nducey ou",shesay swithhereyesmov ing
from met oMuzi .
"I
sthatanothernameforaC-
sect
ion?
",Muzi
asksingreatconcer
n.
"
No.WhatIam goi
ngt odois,i
nsertapil
li
nher
vagi
nainor
dert
oripenthecervi
x",
shesay sand
wait
sforhi
mtodigestthei
nformation.
"
Isi
tdanger
ous?
"
"I
thasworkedf ormanywomen.I fi
tdoesn't
work,we'
llhav
et ogotheCesareanroute".She
explai
nedandweagr eedtotheinduct
ion.The
painwasnowunbear abl
eIregrett
edev er
openingupmyl egstoMuzi.

Thedoct
orinser
tedthepi
llandsai
dnowwe
wai
tfori
ttowork.Itwasuncomfor
tabl
ehav
ing
i
tdownt here.Iwasnowcr yi
ngrealt
ears.Muzi
tr
iedevery
thingfrom massagesandjokesbut
nothi
ngwaswor king.Hewasalsophysi
cal
ly
ti
red.

06h14

Mymom f i
nallyarri
ved.Thev erymomentshe
walkedinthrought hedoormademer eal
isethe
severi
tyofthepai n.Iwasn'thappytoseeher .I
wasact ual
lyver yi
ndiff
erentaboutherpresence.
Aboutev er
y t
hing.Ijustwantedt hetwo
ter
rori
ststoexi tmybody .Afterthi
s,Iam havi
ng
mywombr emov ed.Ikeptthinki
ngtomy self
.

UNEDI
TED
I
nser
t106(
SPONSOREDBYBahl
eBel
l
a)
Mom suggestedtoMuzit
hathegoeshomeand
get
ssomer est.Hesai
dhe'
sfinewhenhewas
obvi
ousl
yti
red.Myhandhasbeeninhist
he
wholet
ime.
"
Bytradi
ti
onyou'r
enotevensupposedt
o
wi
tnessanyofthi
swatseba?"
,mymom sai
dto
Muzi.
"Mastop.Ineedhi
m her
e.Ti
meshav
echanged
and.
..
"
"I
t'
sokay.Ij
ustwanttosupportmywi f
e.Ican'
t
l
eaveherhereknowingshe'si
npainma" ,
Muzi
i
nterr
upt
edmei nhishumbleselfbefor
eIcould
snapanyfurt
her.Mom hadnochoicebutto
al
low.Evel
ynlat
erwalkedinwithThando.
"
Ohmydeardarli
ng"
,shesai
dassherushedto
mybed.Iwasnowwetfrom myownsweat.
"Howarey ou?"
,Thandoasked.Ij
ustgavehera
weaksmile,tr
yingtomaskmyi rr
it
ati
ontowards
herst
upidquest i
on.Thepangsofchi
ldbi
rt
hhad
meli
kepli
ersonnippl
es.Thecr
owdwasal
so
begi
nni
ngtoir
ri
tat
eme.
"Howlonghavey
oubeeni
nlabournow?
",
Evel
ynasked.
"Si
nce8",Muzisay
sfrom aplaceofbor
der
li
ne
exhaust
ionandheart
break.
"
Whati
sthedoct
orsay
ing?
",mymom asked.
"They'
rei
nducingcervicaldil
ati
on",Muzi,my
spokespersonrepl
ied.Thedoct orcameback
andsaid" Whoa,t
hisisfullhouse"andlaughed
befor
egr eet
ingeveryone.Theirreci
procal
greet
ingscamewi thsmi l
es.
"I'
m goingtoneedev
ery
onetoleavetheroom
soIcancheckonherprogress"
,shepoli
tel
y
saidandThandoaskedifMuzii
sincl
udedi n
"every
one".Thedoct
orl
aughed.
"Nohecanstay",
shesaidandt heyl
eft
.She
i
nspect
edmeagai nwit
hhert wof i
nger
sand
sai
dther
e'sprogr
ess."
Progress?Idon'
twant
progr
ess.Iwanttogi
vebi
rthnow!
",Isnapped
andMuzi t
ight
enedhi
sholdonmyhand.
"Iknow.Let'
sjustgiveitacouplemor ehour
s
thenwecandeci dewhatt odof r
om t her
e
dependingont heoutcome.Okay ?"
,shegentl
y
tappedmyt hi
ghst wiceandlefttheroom
beforeIcoul
dr espond.
"Di
dIhearhersayhour
sormyearsareal
so
l
abour?"
,Icoar
sel
yaskedandheki
ssedthe
backofmyhand.
"Iwishtherewassomet hingIcoul
ddot omake
thi
seasier "
,heexpressedandIshutmyey esi
n
pain.If
eltwant i
ngtobr eatheanot
herwordand
Iimmedi atel
ysaid"Pleasekeepquiet
",wit
hmy
eyessti
ll cl
osed.It
henhear dhi
m si
gh.

.
..
08h44

Thedoct orcamef oranot heri nspect i

onand
saidI 'm close.Shepr omisedt hatI '
ll
begi ving
birt
ht henextt imeshecame.Thecont ractions
wer enowbr eathi nghel lf
ire.Muzi wentt owash
hisf acei nt hebat hroom andcameback
l
ooki ngbet ter.Hewasheshi sf aceeacht i
mehe
i
sst r essed.Wat eri scalmi ngf ormet oo.Isaw
wat eri nmydr eam wi thhim.Webot hhav eour
ownsetofsi nsbutourl ov ei spur e.Ifeelli
ke
cleanwat ersy mbol izespur ity.Oritcouldbe
thatt hev agi nal pillprobabl yfoundi t
'swayi nt
o
mybr ainandpoi sonedmyabi li
tytot hi
nk
sensi bly.Myey eswer enowheav yandpai nful
i
nast ingingmanner .Manqobacal l
edand
notifiedust hathewasal soi nthepr emi ses.
Muzi wentt ohi m becausehedi dn'twantt o
comei ntother oom.Iwonderwhathet hought
hewi llsee.Myv agi nahangi ngf rom thecei li
ng?
Ever y
thingandev eryonewaspi ssi
ngmeof f.
Event heoneswi thnoi syfoot stepspassingon
thecor ridor.Scr
apingt hef l
oorwi t
ht hei
r
certainlyuglyshoesanddr aggingt heirf
eet.I
feltli
kescr eaming" Youar eaf xcki
ngadul t.
Wal klikey oumeani t!
".Muzi camebackwi th
takeaway sfrom Doppi oZer oandt wobot t
lesof
wat er.AsmuchasIl ov ethef oodf rom t
hat
place, Ifel
tlikeal
l i
t'
sf ranchisesshoul dgoup
i
nf lamesi nthati
nst ant.
"I
'
mf i
ne.Ej
awena"
(Youeat)
, Isai
dwi
thmy
heav
yheadsti
l
lcar
elessl
yplacedont
hepi
ll
ow.
"Taketwobit
eskest
handwasami
.Justt
wo?
",
hepleaded.
"Idon'tfeell
i
kef oodri
ghtnow.IfIf
orceitI'
m
goingt othr
owup" ,Isaidandhepursedhisli
ps
together.Hehadnoi deawhattodo.Het hen
placedt hepaperbagont hesi
detableand
dranksomeoft hewat er.
"Ar
en'tyougoi
ngt
oeat? "
,Iasked.Maybehe
shouldgohomeandsleep.Hehadexhaust i
on
wri
tteninabol
dAri
alsize16onhi sf
orehead.

09h33

Thedoct orcamebacktocompl etesil

encein
theroom.Muzi hadhisheadbowedont heedge
ofthebedwi thmyhandst i
l
linhis.Ihadnoidea
i
fhewassl eepi
ng,pr
ayi
ngorbot h.Heraisedi
t
whent hedoctorcameandsniffed.
"Al
ri
ght.Let'
ssee",shesaidinherpur plescrubs
wit
habl acklongsleevevestunderneat h.
Amidstallt
heangui shandagony, Imanagedt o
noti
cethatheryel
lowhandsl ookedabi thai
ry
butsof
tsinceshehadpul l
edthesl eeves
hal
fwayonherar m.Iwoul dn'
thavenot i
ced
suchat r
ivi
alandinsigni
fi
cantthi
nghour sago.
Maybeit'
sagoodsi gnormay bethedr ugreally
i
sinv
adi
ngi
mpor
tantpar
tsofmybr
ain.
"Ohhh-kayy.Nowwecanmov etothel
abour
room",shesai daftercheckinghowdil
atedI
wasandmyhear tdidahal f
waysomer sault
becausethismeantt wothings.I
tmeantt hat
wewer efinallygett
ingsomewher ebutatt he
samet ime,itbetrayi
nglymeantmor epain.
Thesewer et hesemi fi
nalsandIwasnowher e
nearreadyt opushanent ireheadoutofmy
vagi
na.Dot hesepeopleknowhowr el
ativ
el y
ti
nymyhol eiscompar edtoahumanhead?
LordIhateki ds.

Theywheeledmybedoutoft hatroom andtook

met oanotherone.Muzicamewi th.Wef i
nal
ly
gottothechamber sofprenat
alhell
.Il
aidthere
onmybackandIwast ol
dt or
aisemyl egsand
keepthem apart
.Muzi wasaskedt oputona
setofscrubsandamopcap.
"Howmany ?"
,thenur seaskedandt hedoct or
said"10cent imet er
s" .Shepl acedabl uesheet
onmyr aisedwhi cht henwentaheadand
l
ookedl i
keat entunpr ovoked.Myv aginawas
exposedandv erymuchouti ntheopen.I fthis
wasanyot herr andom dayIwoul d'
vebeen
fussyaboutbei ngsonakedandhav i
nganot her
personhav eaf ullv
iewofi tapartfrom you-
know- who.Today ?TodayIdi dn'tcare.Ijust
want edittobeov eranddonewi th.Hewasst il
l
holdingmyhand.Thedoct orwasst andingin
frontofme.Thecont r act
ionsatt hispointwer e
nowt oostrongandr egular.Mybackf eltli
keit
wasr entedf r
om f aultybackdoordeal er.
"Nowpushmommy ",
theObGyncommanded
andItri
edoncet
henfel
tli
keIneededt
he
bathr
oom.
"NoIneedt
opoop",
Isai
dandt
ri
edtogetup.
Thenurser
est
rai
nedmebymyshoul
ders.
"
That
'sokay
.It
'st
otal
l
ynor
mal
.It
'snotpop
keeppushi
ng"
,shesai
d.
"HeyfokofI'
vebeenpoopingal
lmyli
feIknow
whatpopf eel
sli
ke!",
Ierupt
edthenshort
ly
screamedmyl ungsout.I
sthi
swhatit'
sreall
y
supposedtofeelli
keorisnat
urepl
ayi
ngt enni
s
withme?
"Puuuush!
!!
",t
heybothcompell
edmet okeepat
i
t.Ipushedandi tt
ookallt
hener
vesand
str
engthinmyt emples.
"
Ican'
tdot
hisbaby
",Icr
iedt
oMuzi
.
"
Ofcour
sey
oucan.Pl
easet
ryhar
der
"
"Whydidn'
tyouuseacondom? ",
Iaskedand
wasaskedtopushagain.Iscr
eamedand
pushedoncemore.
"Pushsthandwasami.It
'l
lbeoversoon",
he
pleadedandIgri
ttedmyt eet
hhopingtodraw
somecal ci
um st
rengthfrom t
herethenpushed.
.
..

Fortyminutesl
aterandIwassti
ll
pushing.Iwas
nowhol di
ngont oMuzi'
shandfordearli
fe.I
surelyki
ll
edall
thenervesi
nitandIdidnot
regreti
t.
"
Icanseethehead.Givemeonestr
ongpush!
",
t
hedoctordirect
edandIsi
ghedf
rom deep
f
ati
gue.Ipushedf r
om mycor
eandfel
tli
keI
wastear
ingintotwo.
"
Onel
astonebabyngi
yak'
cel
a",
Muzi
begged.
"Iwouldn'
tbeher ei
fitwasn'
tforyour
overacti
vesperm!",
Iyell
edinbetweenthepush
andani mmedi at
elaughlef
thisli
ps.Thi
s
exercabetedtheangerIhadtowardshim andI
squashedhi shandevenmor e.
"OuchNgi
yaxoli
sababy!"(
I'
m sor
ry)
,hefl
inched
i
npainandIcontinuedpushingwit
hmyt eeth
gri
tt
ed,dr
enchedinaf l
oodofsweat.Thefir
st
onecameoutandIcoul
dn'
tst
opt
aki
ng
exhaust
edheav
ybreat
hs.
"Yay !
",theyclampedandcutt heumbi li
cal cord.
Thenur seheldandwr appedhimi nabl uesheet
andIwasaskedt opushoutt helastone.Whi ch
wasn' tasbadast hefirstone.Mylegswer e
alreadynumbf rom allthepain.Theywer eall
cheer i
ngandcongr atulati
ngme.Thedoct or'
s
voicef adedassheaskedi fMuziwant edt o
holdt hem.Icoul dheart hesoundofbot hcr i
es
slowlybecomi ngfaintaswel l
.Ihadcer tainl
y
deplet edallmyst r
engt h.Ibeganseeinga
growi ngblackasmyey eli
dsreunit
ed.

UNEDI
TED
I
nsert107(SPONSOREDBYTsakaniLor
rai
ne
MakhubelaandNontandoSLi
ster
)

Thef
ir
stt
hingt
hatmetmyey
eswer
ethe
bli
ndi ngl i
ghtsinmyhospitalr
oom.Iscanned
ther oom wi thsquint
edeyesandnoti
cedMuzi
wassl eepingbymybedside.Hehadchanged
clothes.Whi chmademewonderhowl ongI
wasasl eep.Myheadhur t
.Myt hr
oatwasasdr y
asdust .Itri
edgetti
ngupbutthedri
pneedle
plasteredt omyhandwasqui ckt
oreprimand
meagai nsti
t.IshookMuzi wi
thmylef
thand
andhewokeup.
"
Heybaby"
,hesaidi
nawhisper.Anelat
ed
whi
sper
.Ibreat
hedoutl
oudl
ythroughmynose.
"Howar
eyoufeel
i
ng?",
heaskedashegotupt
o
pourmesomewater
.
"Li
ket
ragedywar
medup.Wherear
emybabies?
HowhaveIbeenasl
eepf
or?"
,heposi
ti
onst
he
str
awsoIcanbeabl
etodri
nk.
"About27hour
snow.Iwasworri
edabouty
ou"
,
heexplai
nswhil
ecar
eful
l
yhol
dingthegl
ass
andstrawtomymouth.
"Thedoct
orsai
dyoul
ostal
otofbl
ood"
,he
adds.
"Wherearemybabies?",Iaskaft
erimmediat
ely
swall
owing.Thedoctorwalksinjusti
nti
me.Do
thesepeopl
eeverrest?
"Hey
,mommyof2.Howar ewef eeli
ng?You
scar
edus.Thankst
ohubbyov erhereforbei
ng
amatchother
wise.
..
",shesay
sandt akesout
myfil
esomewherebehindthefootboar
d.
"
I'
m okay.If
eel
fine.Whathappened?Wher
ear
e
mybabies?"
"Don'twor r
y .Thebabiesareper fectl
yf i
ne.Your
bodysuf feredwhatwecal lahy pervolemic
shock.Meani ng,youlostalotofbl oodt han
yourbodycannor mall
yreplacef orproper
functi
oning.Ri ghtnowI '
m gonnachecky our
vit
alstheny oucanseet hem aight?",shesaid
andInodded.Iwant edhertogeti tov erand
donewi thsoshecoul dbringthem.I 'vehearda
l
otofbl ood-curdli
ngstori
esaboutbabiesthat
eit
hergomi ssingorswi tchedatbir
thin
hospital
s.Shewal kedoutwhenshewasdone
andpr omisedt ocomebackwi t
hthem.Iwas
anxious.Muzi kissedthebackofmyhandand
tol
dmehowmuchIscar edhim.Igavehima
comf ort
ingbutawkwar dsmile.
"
Soyou'
ret
heonewhodonat
edbl
ood?
",
Iasked
wi
tht
hesmilewi
deni
ng.
"Idi
dnot"donate"
.Ipai
dbackmyl oan.You
oncesavedmesonowwe' resquar
e.Idon'
t
owey oushxt
",hesaysarr
ogantl
yandIlaugh.
"
Thankyoubaby",Isayandsqueezehi
shand.
Hesqueezesback.
"Forwhat?YouknowI '
dgivey oumyheart
shouldtheneedar i
seright?
",heassert
s.My
heartbreaksattherecepti
onoft hi
s.Iwonder
howi t
'dbewaki nguptodiscov ert
hatheisno
mor eandt hatIam st
il
lali
vebecauseofhis
hear
t.I
'
drat
hernotbesav
edatal
l
.
"
Iwoul
dn'
twanti
t"
"
Why
?"
"Let'
sjuststoptal
ki
ngaboutthi
s.Thethought
aloneofliv
ingli
fewit
houtyouhurt
senough.
Thinki
ngabouti tf
eel
sli
keIam att
ract
ingiti
nto
mani f
estat
ion",
Isayandhetuckshisl
ipsin.
"Haveyouseenthem?"
,Ichangethet
opicsi
nce
mor osi
tywasbegi
nni
ngtospreadint
he
atmosphere.Ani
mmediatesmil
egraceshis
face.
"They'
resoper fect.Sosmal l
.Soi denti
cal",he
explai
nsandIl augh.Iwant edt oaskhi m about
thegenderbutIf el
tli
kethesuspensecoul dbe
worthit.Ialr
eadyknewonewasaboy .Idon't
knowwhyInev erwantedDr .Masi ngi
tatotell
mebef orebirthbutIjustwant edittobea
surpri
sef ornor easoninparti
cular.Theygot
wheeledi nbythedoct orwithawi desmi leon
herface.Ii mmedi atelysatupini mpati
enceand
Muzi stoodupt ohel pher.Heaskedmewhi ch
oneIwant edtohol dfi
rstandIlaughedandsai d
allt
wo.Bot hoft hem careful
l
ypl acedthe
babiesinmyhandsandIbeganf eel
i
ng
emot i
onal.Ifinallygettomeett hepeoplewho
havebeeni nhabitingmybodyf orsol ong.All
thosebackpai ns,swol l
enfeet,r
andom
vomi t
ing,andsl eeplessnessinstantl
yfeltwort
h
everysecond.
"Hel
lo,ni
na.Hell
o,nunus.Sampona?Sampona
sampona",Isoft
lygreet
edthem andIhear
dthe
doctorgo"Awwww" .ThesmileonMuzi'sf
ace
deservedaframe.
"Letmel eaveyoutwotoitthen.Itoldthefami l
y
theycouldn'tcomeinbecauseIdi dn'
twant
them t
ocr owdy ouinyourcri
tical
state.Should
Igoletthem in?"
,sheasked.Inallmyl i
fe,I
've
nevermetsuchawar m-hearteddoctor.
Masingit
ai samazingbutthisonei sonal ane
ofherown.Shepour
sherheartint
oher
pati
ents'
heal
th,
wit
hasmi l
e.I
'veneverfel
tso
pri
ori
ti
zedandimpor
tantatahospit
albefor
e.
"Notyet
.Gi v
eheracoupl eofmi nutesbefore
youcanl ett
hem know",Muzi saysandIkeep
myey esonmybabi es.Igenuinelycreated
dupli
catesofthesymbol ofourlove.Theyhav e
Muzi'
snose, for
ehead,hair
li
ne,andear s.The
eyesandl i
psweredef i
nit
elyfr
om myown
genome.Onewasasl eepandt heotherhadhis
eyeswideopen.
"Thanky ousthandwasami .I'
dfindanOxf or
d
dict
ionaryforallt
hebi gwordssui t
edforthe
grati
tudeIfeelri
ghtnowbutIwon' tbecause
there'
snone.It'
sunexpl ai
nable.Thanky oufor
tougheningitouttobr i
ngmychi l
drenonearth.
I
twasn' teasybuty oudidit"
,hesai dandtooka
bookf r
om thesidet ablet
itl
ed'Deepbr eat
hs'
fornewmoms.Il aughed.
"
Hawu.Whyar
eyoul
aughi
ngatmypushgi
ft
?",
helaughswithme.Onebabystart
scry
ingandI
gentl
yshushhim andMuzioff
erstot
akehim.I
suggesthetakesthesl
eepi
ngone.Hedoes.
"Idon'tneedapushgi ftMbulazi
.IknowIdidn'
t
wantt hispregnancybefor
ebutnow, I'
ddoital
l
ov eragain"
,IsayasIcontinuetoshushthe
baby .Hewasgr owingquiet.Hesmiledand
kissedmyf orehead.
"I
'
m happyyou'r
ehappyt obethemot herofmy
ki
ds",hesaysandIreal
izewe'vebeenkiddi
ng,
babyi
ng,andchil
dreni
ngsincetheygothere.I
haven'
tnamedthem.
"Ihav
en'
tnamedt
hem?
!",
Iexcl
aim.Hel
aughs
atmypanic.
"
Ihav
e",
hesaysandIlookathi
m sohecant
ell
mewhathedeci
ded.
"
Lwandil
enoMxoli
si"
,hepoint
satwhoi swho
wi
thhisheadandl
ockseyeswithhissonwho
wasnowawake.It
akeamomentt oprocess
t
henames.
"Iwanthi mtobringandsymbol i
zepeacei
nour
mar r
iage.Inolongerwantt ofi
ghtwit
hyou
sthandwasami .Iam hopefult
hatthi
s
offi
cial
izesourcleanslat
e",hesaysandpoi
nts
toMxol isi
.TheoneIhadi nmyar ms.Asmil
e
growsonmyf ace.
"
AndLwandi
l
e?"
"Lwandil
emeansithasi
ntensi
fi
ed.Ref
err
ingt
o
uthandolwet
hu"
,hesaysandImelt.
"
Ilov
eyou"
,Isubv
ocal
i
ze.
"Il
ovey out .
..
".Thefamilybargesinbef
orehe
couldfi
ni shhissentence.IfIwasunconsci
ous
fort
hatl ong,chancesar eeveryonei
nheresaw
them beforeIdid.Whi chdeclar
esabsolut
elyno
needfort hisdrama.

.
..
[
1dayl
ater
]

Thedoct orr efusedtodi schar

gemey esterday
nomat t
ert henumberoft i
mesIstatedthatI
wasf i
ne.TodayI 'mf i
nallygoi
nghome.Mom
bull
iedManqobai ntotakinghertomyhouset o
prepareitf ormyar ri
val.Evely
nwaswi t
hmeat
thehospi tal thewhol etime.Shecouldn'tstop
yawning.Ihadexpect edquar rel
sbetweenher
andmymot herbutt hesamet ohavemer ged
i
ntoaf or mi dableteam.GoodbecauseIl eftal
l
myr efereeener gyinthel aborroom.Ihadonl y
2mat ernitypadsl eftinthepacksoMuzi went
outtobuymor e.Didn'tthemancomebackwi th
6packs?Il aughedatt hiswhenIf oundhi min
myr oom af t ermyshower .
"Hl
ekauz'ukhal
ekodwaangisabuyel
imina
est
olo"
(Youcanl aught
il
lyoucrybutI
'm no
l
ongergoi
ngbacktothest
ore)
,hesay
sand
put
stheCli
ckspl
asti
cbagonthebed.
Iki
sshi
m ont
hecheekandcont
inuel
aughi
ng.
"Whatift
hebabiesandIneedsomet
hing?
",I
askprovocat
ivel
y.
"
Icanalway
ssendBangi
zwef
orthat"
,he
r
epli
esandpul
l
smebymywai standbit
eshi
s
l
owerli
p.
"Whycouldn'
tyousendhimf
orthi
saswel l
?",
I
giv
eapout edsmil
e.Heimmedi
atel
ylooksat
mel i
keIj
ustdrai
nedall
mymarblesinthe
shower.
"AreyouaskingmewhyIdidn'tsendanot
her
mant ogobuyt hepadst
hatyou'regoi
ngto
use?",heaskswithhi
sbr
owr aisedandI
explode.Laughi
ng.
"
Hawu.They
'r
ecl
eanmar
ababy
"
"
Imi
ghtaswel
lsayt
ohi
m"Nt
wana,
ungi
dlel
e
uMadam mangi semsebenzi
ny ezwa?Ayikho
i
nkinga"
("Youcanfxckmywi f
ewhenI '
m at
work.There'
sabsolut
elynoprobl
em"),hestat
es
andmycheeksbegi ntoburnfrom al
lthe
l
aughing.

.
..

Wedr ov ehomeaf t
erIgotdi schargedwi ththe
babies.Muzi wascar r
yingMxol isi
andI
Lwandl e.Ihadt obreastfeedt hem befor
ewe
l
eft.Luckily,
Ididnothav eanypr oblemswi t
h
producingmi lkasthei nternethadt hr
eatened.
Evelynhadt odr i
ve.Shet r
iednegotiat
ingthat
shebet heonet ositatt hebackwi thmeand
thebabi esbutMuzi hadnoneofi t
.Mymom
welcomedushomewhenwegott here.Shehad
evencookedl unch.Sampandhear tybeefstew.
Thear omaf il
ledthehousebecausey ouknow,
whenmymom cooks, shemakessur e.We
wentupstai
rswi t
hthebabi esandIfoundmy
bedroom f
ullofbabyst uf
f.From bl
anketsto
di
sposablenappies.Amoni t
orwaspar tofthe
gl
oriousmessonmybed.Mymom shor tl
y
walkedintocleari
t.Shewal kedoutwithaf ew
ofthestuf
fandIaskedwher eshewasgoi ng.
"
Thenurser
y!"
,sheyell
ed.Whatnur
sery
?Iasked
Muzi
.Hecareful
lysatonthebedwit
hthebaby
i
nhisar
ms.
"Iaskedacoupl eofgent st ocomeseti tup
yesterday.Cot sandev er ything.Yourmom was
heret oov erseeev erything." ,heinfor
med
withoutmaki nganyey econt actwithme.Ij ust
smi l
edatt hemar vel
ousmanIgett ocall
mi ne
butdisappoi nt
edi nmy selfforalltheneglectI
projectedt owar dsmybabi es' pr
epart
um.
Lwandi leissopeacef ul .Hesl eeps.Alot!
Mxol i
si ont heot herdoesnotmi ssachancet o
driveonecr azy.Hegr abswi t
hbot hti
nyhands
andhogsont
oit
.Hebeganbei
ngcrankyand
Muzist
ooduptocal
m hi
m down.
"Letmet akehi
m?"
,Isuggest
ed.Hepai
dno
attent
iontome.
"
Baby
?"
"
Hm?
",her
esponded.
"
Letme?
"
"I
'v
egothi m.He'
llbefi
neinafew" ,hesaidwi t
h
cert
aintyandheindeedmanagedt ogett hrough
tohim.I'v
enoti
cedhe'squitef
luentinthe
l
anguageMxol i
sispeaks.Iontheot herhand
j
usthearmandar i
nwhenhecr ies.Idon'tthi
nk
helikesmemuch.
"It
hinkwemustwai tforthepaintt
odr ybef
ore
mov i
ngthem i
nthere.I'
m afrai
ditmightget
i
ntoxicat
ingf
orthei
rlit
tl
el ungs"
,Ir
aisemy
concern.
"
Ispeci
fi
cal
l
ytol
dthem nott
ouseanypai
nt.I
t'
s
j
ustwall
paper"
,heassur
edandst
il
lkepthis
eyesonhisson,whowasnowfal
l
ingasleep.

.
..

Afterlunch,Muzi askedthatweputt hebabi es

downandgoout sidebecauseIappar entl
y
neededsomef r
eshai r
.Itriedtoar guebutnev er
wonbecause, inhi shead, heist hechai r
person
ofmywhol ebody .Hegr abbedt hebabymoni t
or
andwal keddownst ai
rs.Ther ewasnoneedf or
himt otakeitbecauseEv elynwast herewitht he
babiesbuthedi d.Noonet ri
edt owast etheir
energyonhi m.Ev elynandIj ustlookedateach
otherandshookourheads.Mom was
downst air
swashi ngthedi shes.SheandEv elyn
somehowgotr i
dofNombi becauset heyfel
t
"Thelessener gyar oundt hebabi est hebetter "
sinceshei sn'
tfami l
y.Wel lintheireyes.She's
grownt obeasi st ertome.Muzi andIwal ked
outandhehel dmyhand.Wewer ewal king
sl
owl ybecausesi shadj ustpushedoutt wo
humanheads.Wei nnocentlywal kedar oundthe
houseandwal kedoutsi ncet hegat ewasopen.
Whenwet urnedt ojointhegr avel
, Iscr
eamed
myl ungsoutt ot earswhenIsawar oyal
mar oonG63par kedoutmyy ar
dwi t
ha" MrsK"
personalizedregi strati
onpl ate.Ithrewmyar ms
aroundhi mi njubi l
ation.Hewasl aughingonmy
shoulderatt hemi xinemot ionsIwas
experiencing.Iwi pedmyt ear sandpl ayful
lyhi
t
him onhi shardchest .
"ButIt
oldyouIdi
dn'
tneedapushgi
ft
",Isai
din
betweentear
s.
"Youwerelate.Andbesides,ev
enifyouhad
saidit6mont hsbackIwouldn'
thaveli
stened"
.I
poutedindefeatandhehandedmemycarkey s.
Igrabbedthem andrantothecar.Helaughed
i
mmedi atel
y.
.
..

It
's21h39andt hisist hethi r
dshowerIam
takingt oday .Thepadsgetsof ullquicklyit
causesmenosei rri
tation.Mynost ri
lsget
i
rrit
at edwhenIgetunbear ablyimpat ientwith
somet hing.Iuset hem i ncombi nationwi th
femi ninewi pesbutIj ustdon' tfeel clean
enough.Ibr east fedthebabi est heysl eptbefore
myshower .Il eftthem i nthenur serywi thMuzi.
Isuggest edsl eepingwi t
ht hem i nmybedbut
mymom say sImi ghtsquashandsuf focate
them i nmysl eep.Af terIwasdonel otioningup
andput tingonmypaj amas, Iwentoutt ogot el
l
Muzi tobr i
ngt hecoti nt hebedr oom.Thi sbaby
moni torbusi nesswasnotgoi ngt owor kforme.
Theanxi etyofnothav ingthem i nt hesame
room wi thmewasgoi ngt opr otestagai nstmy
sleep.
.
..

Igottot
henurser
yandhewasont
hephone
l
ookingoutt
hewindow.
"
Didy
ouhav
etogo?
",Muzi
asked.
"
BabyIknowy oulov
eshoppingoverseasbut
whatwastherush?ICanadaayi
bal
eki
mkami"
(Canadaisnotgoinganywheremywife"
"
Youli
kest
ressi
ngmekonj
ewena.Forno
r
eason"
,
"
Hav
eyout
houghtaboutwhatIsai
d?"
"Aboutyoumovi
ngpermanentl
ybackt
oJoburg?
Thistoandfr
oisexhaust
ingf
orme.Kukude
Natal
"(KZNi
stoofar)
"Ofcour
seIcar
eabouty
ourment
alheal
th
but.
..
"
"Okay
,nowy ouwanttofight
.I'
ll
speaktoyou
wheny oucal
m down",hesaysandcutsthecal
l.
Heexhalesandpincheshisnosebri
dgewithhi
s
backfaci
ngme.Idecidetowalkaway .

EDI
TED
I
nser
t108

Thebabi eswer esl eepi

ng.Mom andEv elyn
gavet hem abat hbef or
eItookmyshower .I'
m
scaredI '
l
ldrownt hem orsomet hing.Wat erand
soapar equi t
easl ipper
ycombi nat ion.Idon't
evenknowi fI'
ll
ev ergetoverthisf ear.Iwent
backi nt
omyr oom andsatont hebed.Ishoul d
havelistenedtot hatconversation.Thi s
marriageisex clusiveandinclusiveatt hesame.
There'stwouni onsi noneandapoi ntwher e
theymeet .Icrossedt hatandwentbey ondthe
boundar yjustasshedi dwhensher eadmyt ext
toMuzi .I
st hatthereasonwhyshewentaway ?
She'sstil
lmad?Icoul dn'twrapmyheadar ound
therealreasonwhyshewentaway .May beiti
s
j
ustani nnocentt r
ip.I
fIhadmyphoneI '
dhav e
probablytextedherbynow.Iam t hatimpulsiv
e
soitnotbei ngherewor ksinmyf av our
.Muz i
promisedt obringitalongwithmyov er
night
bagf r
om hishouse.Hecamei nt
ot heroom and
askedmei fIwasokay .
"
I'
mfi
nebaby
.Justhungr
y",
Ili
ed.
"
Whatdoy
ouwannaeat
?"
"ArgI'
lleattomor r
ow.I'm notfeeli
ngwel lIt
hink
I'
llt
hrowup" ,Isaidandheappr oachedmet o
puthishandonmyf orehead,checkingmy
temperature.Iwasf i
ne.IknewIwasf i
nebuthe
didn'
t.Ifel
tbadf ordoingthattohi m becauseI
knewhewasgoi ngtowor ry.
"I
t'
snot
hinghect
ic.Ihear
dit'
snormalt
ofeel
all
bl
ueandstuffaf
terbir
th"
,Iassur
e.Hewassti
ll
st
andi
ngi
nfr
ontofme.
"Okayi
fitget
soutofhandy
ou'
l
ltel
lmer
ight
?",
hesaysandInod.
"Al
ri
ghti
thingi
yogeza2minut
esngiy
abuya
manje"
(Gi
mmet womi nut
estobat
hI'l
lber
ight
back.
"
Haa.2mi
nut
es?
",Il
augh
"Yes.Twomi nutes.Isai dI'
m goingtobat h.I
didn'tsayI
'm goingtoscr ubapi g"
,hesay sand
webot hl
augh.Het henwal ksintotheensui t
e
andIgodownst air
s.Igett othekitchenand
pourmysel facol dglassofor angejuice.My
throatmydemandi ngit.Igulpeditdownand
mymom wal keddownt hestair
s.
"Tshelat
sepedi"(
Pourtwoofthose),
she
orderedandwalkedi
nt hedi
rect
ionofthel
i
ving
room.Ipouredheraglassandfoll
owedher.
"Sit
",shesaidasIcaut
iouslyhandedherher
glass.Isatbesi
deheront hecouch.
"
Howar
eyou?
",sheasked.
"I
'
mf i
ne.Howareyou?"
,Irepl
iedandshe
angl
edherfacedownwardstoshowdoubt.
"
HowareYOURemofi
lwe?"
,sher
eit
erat
ed.I
t
ookaheav
ybr
eathout.
"Il
ookedtowar
dst
heent
rancear
cht
oseei
f
anybodywascomi
ng.
"Idon'
tknowmama.I 'm scared.Idon' tknow.
I'
mt ry
ingtoavoiditbutIhav et hi
sfeel i
ngon
topofmyhead.If eelli
keI '
llsomehowmessup.
Iwantt obeagoodmot hertomyboy sbutt he
pressureofnowbei ngresponsi bl
ef ortwol i
ves
makesmeanxi ous.Today ,whenIr efusedt hat
youteachmehowt obat hthem andIopt edto
j
ustwat chinst
ead,Ifeltli
ke...
"
"
Shhhhhh",shei
nter
ruptsmyrambl
i
ng,
putsthe
j
uiceonthecoff
eetableandt
akesmyhand.
"
Ongwanakawenaotsebakenna.Isawthat
y
oual
mostpani
ckedbutyoumaskedi twel
l
.
Thiswasy ourfir
stpregnancy ,
Fil
we.Youdon't
haveexper i
ence.Especi
all
yf ordoubl
ethe
pressure.Stopbeinghardony oursel
f.
Breathe..
."
,shesay sandIinhaleandkeepi
tin.
"
Andout"
,shei
nst
ruct
sandIempt
youtmy
l
ungs.
"Everyt
imey oufeel l
ikeyou'redrowni ng,
remembert obreathe.Mistakeswi llhappen.
Youneedt otr
yy ourbestt oav oi
dt hem as
muchasy oucanbutwhent heydo, f
ocuson
fi
xingitthanbeat i
ngy ourselfupabouti t.Focus
ont hesoluti
on,notthepr obl em.Youwi llneed
totakeoutboogi esoutoft heirt
inynosesusi ng
thebackofsaf etypinsot heycanbr eathe
properl
y.You'll
needt ocutt hei
rnailsatsome
point"
"Yohimagine.WhatifIcutt
hei
rsmal
ldel
i
cat
e
skinandtheybleed?
"
"
Fornow,
youcanusebr
east
mil
ktor
emov
ethe
nailssot heydon' tscr atcht hemsel f
.They '
l
lfall
off.Butaf teramont h, y
ou' l
l needt ouseanai l
cli
pper .Thisisnott hepoi nt.Thepoi ntI'
m
try
ingt omakeher ei s,t
her e'sal otthatcango
wrongwi thbabi es.Youneedt okeepawel l
aeratedandsameheadont hoseshoul dersfor
them.Hencet hebr eathingexer cises.You're
boundt omessupwheny oupani c.Idon'twant
yout oslipi nt
opost partum depr essiononmy
wat ch.Nobodyexpect sy out ohav eittogether.
Askf orhel p.Ifyoudon' tunder standsomet hi
ng
don'tdoi t.Wear eher ef ory ou.Okaybaby ?",
shesai dandIf eltasqueezeonmyshoul der.
"Yeswear e.Evenwhenwel eave,y
oucan
alwayscal
l.Atanytimeofday ",
Evel
ynadds.I
fel
tmyt i
ghtchestcoll
apseintorel
axat
ionand
theknotsinitslowl
yuntangl
ing.

.
..
Ileftthem thereafteracoupl eofl aughsand
wentt ocheckont hebabi es.Iopenedt hedoor
tot henurseryandt hecotwasn' tt here.My
hear tal
mostst opped.Ii mmedi atelymar ched
toourbedr oom andf ounditthere.Iexhal ed
withmyhandont hedoorhandl eandMuzi
turnedt ol
ookatme.Hewasbusyonhi sphone
priortomyabr uptopeningoft hedoor .Wher e
didIev enthinktheywent ?I tdi
dn'tev enmake
sense.Hedr oppedhi shandsandr ai
sedt hem
soIcomet ohi mf orahug.Isl owlywal ked
towar dshim anddr ewcomf ortfr
om hi schest .I
wr appedmyhandsar oundhi m andhepl aced
hishandsatt hebackofmyhead.
"
Youneedt orest
",hesai
dinanunder
tone.I
j
ustkeptqui
et.
"
I'
m gonnabewor
kingal
lnightsoI'
l
lwat ch
t
hem whenIcomeback.Relaxandsleep.
Okay?
"
"Comebackf
rom wher
e?Ist
il
lneedt
owakeup
andfeedt
hem"
"I
'l
lgi
vethem thebot
tl
e.Theydon'tmindi
t.I
needtofetchsomefil
esandmyl aptopfr
om
thehouse"
"Whatifi
t'
stoohot?Pleasebr
ingmystuf
f.My
cel
lphonetoo.It
hinki
t'
sintheli
vi
ngr
oom"
"Mat aughtmehowt otestitusingmywr i
st.I'
ll
bef i
ne.Youwon' tbeofanyuset ot hem i f
you'r
ewor nout ",hesuggest sandInod.Il ove
feedingthem.Pl usbr eastmilkismor eheal t
hier
thanbabyf ormul ai ntermsofant i
bodi esand
fi
ghtingoffinfections.Howev er,hewasr i
ght.I
wast ir
ed.Theaf ter mathofl abouri sf eeli
nglike
you'vebeenhitbyat ruck.At r
uckdr iv enbya
madman.Webr oket hehugandIf el ttokissmy
boysgoodni ght.Het ookhiscarkey sand
assuredthathe'llbebacki naf ewmi nutes.I
gotinbedonl ytot ossandt urn,alternat i
ng
betweenl yi
ngonmybackandmyst omachl i
ke
afull
chickenroast
inginanoven.Igotupt
o
checkiftheyweresti
ll
breat
hing.Theywer
e.I
thenwentbackt obed.

Muzidi
dcomebackwithall
thestuf
fand
ki
ssedmeonthefor
ehead.HethoughtIwas
sl
eepi
ng.
"
Yerryournosei
scol
d",
Iexcl
aimedandhe
l
aughed.
"Mi"(Here),hesaidandhandedmemyphone.
Het hrewt helaptopandf il
esonhissi deofthe
bedandgoti n,inhishoodi eandsweat pant
s.I
unlockedmyphoneandf oundacoupl eof
messages.Inot i
fiedTumi abouttheboy s
throughmymot her'
sphonesohedi dn't
bombar dmyphonel i
kehewoul d'veifIhadn't
toldhi m whyIdisappear ed.Ifoundamessage
from Mabuy i
congr at
ulatingmeonmybabi es
wi t
ht onsofhear temojies.Sowe' recool?I
repli
edandputt hephoneundermycel lphone.
Muzi wasal r
eadybur iedinhiswor k.Ther oom
wasdar ksoIf oundt hel i
ghtcomi ngf rom hi s
l
apt opscr eentoobr i
ght .Ipull
edt hebl anket
overmyheadandt ri
edt ogetsomesl eep.Acr y
brokeoutf r
om t hecotandIal r
eadyknewwho
i
twas.Lwandi l
edoesn' tcryaggr essively.Hi s
cryisjustacal lforat tentionwhilesome
commanderi nchi efont heot herhandcr ieslike
he'stheheadoft hehouse.Mxol isi cr
iesl i
kehe
expect sy outohav ealreadyat t
endedt ohi m
beforeheev enthoughtaboutmaki ngasound.I
tri
edt ogetupt ogogetLwandi leandMuzi
gent l
ypushedmebackt ot hebackandsai d
"Lala"(
Sleep).Heputt helaptopasi deandgot
up.Hepi ckedandcoddl edhim upandbegan
shushinghi m.
"
Heyboy ?Kwenzenj an'
ngobani
dli
lef
ano?
Ufun'el
i
nyeibhodl
ela?Hm?Hm
Mbulazi
?"(
What'swrongbecauseyouj
ustat
e?
Youwantanot
herbot
tl
e?),
Ismil
edathowhe
wascommunicat
ingwit
hhim.He'
sanatur
alat
thi
s.

.
..

Thedensi tyofmysl eepwassol i

ghtt hatIgot
wokenupbyt hebirdschi rpingout side.Thesun
wasf ull
youtandbr ighteningupt her oom fr om
allcorners.Muzi wasf astasl eep.Igotupt o
checkont hebabiesandt heywer eal sost i
l
l
sl
eeping.It henwal kedov ert othechai rtoget
myr obeandt i
ghtenedi tar oundmywai st
.I
grabbedt hemoni torandsl idmycel l
phonei nt
o
mypocket .WhenIgotdownst air
s, Igrabbeda
bottl
edofwat erandwal kedi ntothel ivi
ngr oom.
Icouldn'tfi
ndt heremot eandt hiswasdr i
ving
mei nsane.Thephoner angandi twasan
unsavednumber .Mygutwassomehow
skept
ical
aboutanswer
ingt
hecal
l
.
"
He-
ll
o?"
"
Hi.I
t'
sThemba.Iam i
nJoburgandIhavet
he
i
nfor
mati
onthatyouneed.I
'
llsendyout
he
l
ocat
ionandyouwil
lmeetmet here"
"
Huh?Howdoy ouknowwher
eIl
i
ve?LookIno
l
ongerwantt
oknow..
."
"Thiswasnotar equest.Anddon'
tdoanyt
hing
stupidl
iketel
l
ingy ourhusbandorany
oneelse
aboutthis"
"Ar
ey outhreat
eni
ngme?
",myhear
twas
pounding.
"
Idon'
tmaket
hreat
s.They
'r
eawast
eoft
ime"
"Iwon'
tbebull
i
edbyyou",
Isnapandcutt
he
call
.Mychestwast
ight
eningup.
"Okaybr
eatheBetso.Br
eathesoyoucanbe
abletot
hink"
,Isaytomyselfwhi
l
eregret
s
heavi
lyt
owersov ermyhead.WhatwasI
thi
nkingcal li
ngt hisperson?Amessagecame
thr
oughonmyphonef r
om thenumberandI
quickl
yopenedi t.Hesentmepi cturesofmy
mom andt heinsideofherhouse.Thepi ctur es
l
ookl i
ket heywer etakenwithoutherknowl edge
becauseont hem, shewasdoi ngrandom st uff
l
ikelockingt hedoorandchoosi ngv eggiesi n
thestreet.Myhear t.Myhear twasfaili
ngme.I
couldn'tbreathe.Ihi tmychestacoupl eof
ti
mesbecauseIweakl ysayont heedgeoft he
couch.Ipl acedmyhandonmyst iffneck.Thi s
bustard!

UNEDI
TED.
I
nser
t109

Ift
hefl
oorcoul
dtalki
twould'
velongaskedto
speakt
ot hemanager
.I'
vebeenpacingupand
downtr
yingtofi
gureoutawayforwardfr
om
thismessIsucceededi nshov ingmy sel fi
nto.I
heardt hebabi escryt hrought hemoni t
orandI
rushedupst airs.Muzi wasint hepr ocessof
picki
nguLwandi l
ewhenIwal kedin.Iwentt o
takeMxol isi
.Heki ssedmeont hecheekand
said"Goodmor ni
ngmommy ".Iforcedasmi le
andgr eetedhi m back.Iwentt ositont hebed
tofeedMxo.Lwandi l
ewasnowqui et,prai
set he
Lord.Hehungr il
yst artedsucklingandmyhear t
war medup.Ther e'snot hi
ngIwoul dn'tdof or
thesetwo.I fitmeanswal ki
ngi ntoanopenf ire,
onf l
ami ngredcoal thent hat'
sexact lywhatI '
ll
do.I'v
eexper iencedl ov ebeforebutt heyt ook
thebarandt hrewi nhi ghintothesky .
"St
handwasami ,uright?"
,Muziquest
ionedwi
th
concernonhisface.Inodded.IfedLwawhen
Mxowasdonef eeding.Muzi wentt
oplacehi
m
backinthecot.Ifeatherl
ybrushedhi
ssmall
head.Muzicamet ositnextt
ome.
"
I'
mthi
nki
ngofgi
vi
ngt
hem secondnames"
,I
l
owl
ysai
dandkeptey
econt
actwi
thmyson.
"
Any
thi
ngi
nmi
nd?
",heasked.
"
Yeah.Kopanol
eLeago"
,Ist
atedandheasked
whatt
heymeant.
"Kopano,uni
ty.Boi
kany
o,t
rustwor
thy
.Idon'
t
know.Ijustl
ov et
henames",
Isayandhesit
s
thought
full
y.
"Whichonei
swhi
ch?
",hef
inal
l
yasksandI
giggl
e.
"Lwandile-
Boi
kany
o.Mxolisi-
Kopano",
Icl
eart
he
confusionandheplaceshisarm ar
oundmy
shoulders.
"Il
ovet hem.They'
real
lnott
hatdiff
icultt
o
pronounce.Unli
kesomebodyIknow, loveand
mar r
ied",hesay
sandroll
shiseyes.Ilaugh.
"Hai
bo.What'swrongwit
hmyname?!"
,I
excl
aim andplacemyhandonmychesti
na
showofpossession.
"Yournamequali
fi
esasatongue-
twi
sterbaby
",
hestatesandshakeshi
shead.
"Mci
i
mI '
m notdoingt
hiswi
thyou.Nottoday"
,I
l
aughanddropmyey estomybaby .Hewas
nowfal
l
ingasleepwit
hhisl
ipssl
ightl
ypart
ed.

Icouldtellthem apartatfirstsi
ght.Mxo'sf ace
i
sabi tmor er ounderandLwandi le'
sear sar e
mor eerectandout war d.Apartfr
om that,
they'
reli
v i
ngpr oofthatmywombi sa
photocopymachi ne.Themba' sphonecall was
sti
llf
loati
ngar oundi nmyhear dr
egardlessof
theeffortIment all
ytookt olockitout
.Ir eall
y
hopehei sbl uff
ingorsomet hi
ng.Buthe
wouldn'tgot osuchl engthsifhewas.WhatdoI
tel
lMuzi ?Whati fhedoessomet hingthatwi ll
resul
tinThembal osingagr i
ponhi smar bles?
"Baby
?What'
swrong?There'scl
earl
y
somethi
ngonyourmind?
",thesoundofMuz
i'
s
cal
mv oi
cepul l
edmeoutoft heinnergutofmy
ownthoughts.Isi
ghed.Isawi tbesttostandup
soIcanplaceLwanextt ohistwinli
ng.Muzi
wasbehindmewhenIt urned.Hepl acedhi
s
handsonmyshoul ders.
"Ican'tfi
xitifIdon'tknowwhati tis.What'
s
goingon? ",heaskedandal mostbr oughtmet o
tears.Iall
owedmyheadt ofal
lonhi schestand
heembr acedme, comf or
tedme.Wher edoI
evenst art
?Tel l
inghimisrisky
.Hemi ghtgoon
akilli
ngspr ee.Iwanthimt obedonewi t
hthat
l
ife.Imadehi m promiseandhedi d.Ican'
tbe
thev eryonet otakehim backthere.
"Idon'
tknow.I'mjust..
.myemotionsareall
overtheplace.Ican'
texactl
ysaywhat'swrong.
Myhor monesar ejustincompl
etedisarr
ay.I
t'
s
normal",
Ili
e.
"I
sthereanyt
hingIcando?Getyousome
snacks?Giv
ey ouamassage?Runyouabat
h?"
Arg.Thiswassoperfect
.Whydi
dIhav
et o
maket hatcal
l
?Whatdoesheevenwant?What
sanepersonforcesi
nfor
mati
ondownanother
's
thethr
oat?
"Amassagesoundsgreat"
,Itr
yt osoundas
convi
nci
ngasIpossibl
ycan.Webr eakt
hehug
andgobrushourteet
htogether.Imadethat
cal
lbymyself
.Iam notgoi
ngt odragmyf ami
ly
i
ntothi
s.

.
..

Afterbr
eakfast,Lwandil
ecouldn'tstopcry
ing.
Hewassocr yi
ngsobadl yitbrokemyhear tint
o
several
pieces.Ifedhim,changedhi snappy
andhedi dnothav earash.Evelynsuggested
thatwhenonecr i
eswesepar atethem sothey
don'tcr
yatthesamet i
mef ornor easonsoshe
tookMxodownst air
sasItriedshushingLwat o
calm him down.Myupperbodywasdanci ngup
anddown, hopingitwill help.Muziwasout .I'
d
askedhi mt ogetmewi ngsandsomet oil
etries.
Wewer ealsooutont oiletpaper.Mom came
backwi ththebot t
lehopi ngthati
twillwor k.It
didn'
t.Shet ookhimf rom meandIwentt ol ook
forthepaci fi
erIsawamongstt hebabyst uffin
thenursery .If
oundi tint heplast
icthatTumi
andNombi hadbroughthome.St i
ll
seal ed.I
thentooki tout,grabbedar att
letoy,andwent
backintot heroom.
"AowaFil
we.Youcan'tgivehi
mt hat.Nthwee
aff
ectangwanaphogwana" (
NoFi lwe. .
.This
thi
ngwill
badlyaff
ectthebaby'sfont anel
le),
she
scol
ded,ref
err
ingtothepacif
ier.Iexhaled
heavi
l
yandt hr
ewitont hebed.
"Skafel
apel o"
(Don'
tgetimpati
ent)
,shesoftl
y
saidandcont i
nuedtr
yingtocal
m him.She
placedhim onthebedandunbut t
onedhisgrey
fl
uffyonesi
e.Hehadawhi t
ebabyv estand
cl
osed-
toepant
sunder
neat
h.
"Maybehe'
sfeel
i
nghot
",shesaidasshegota
scr
eamingLwaoutoft
her omper.

Isatont hebedwhenwehadexhaust edev ery

optionther ei nnegot iati
ngwi thbabi es.It ook
himi nmyar msandr ockedhi m backandf ort
h.
Wewer esl owl yf i
ndingcommongr ound.Af t
er
minut esofanachi ngar m, hewasf i
nal lydoz i
ng
off.Icouldn' taffordt omov eamuscl ei naway
thatwoul d'veaddedanysor tofforeignspi ceto
ther hyt
hm.Andt hen, t
hemi ssionwasf inall
y
accompl ished.Isl owly ,
delicatelyand
cautiouslygotupt ogopl acehi m ont heirbed.
Thev er
ymi nuteImov edmyhandsf rom hi m,
heski pped' ony ourmar ks, getset ,ready ,fi
re'
andwentst raightto'go' .Myhear tdr opped.I
wasexhaust ed.Ihadt oshutmyey esf or2
secondst or emi ndmy selfthatmot her hoodhas
nor efundsl ips.It'
sexhaust ingbutIst ill
wouldn'ttr
adet hem forany t
hing.Mymom tri
ed
taki
nghi m andIt ol
dhert hatIhaveever
ythi
ng
undercontrol.Itookhim upagai nandMuzi
walkedin.Hepl acedt heplasti
cbagsdownand
extendedhishandst ot akehim.
"HaiboMnt ungwa.Konekephi ?Hm?Mbul azi?",
hesof tl
yt ri
esreachingoutt ohi m.Boikany o
wasl i
keal oafofbreadr elativet ohislarge
hands.Hespoket ohimi naci vil
,inf
antwor thy
mannerandhi ssonunder stood.Hewentback
tosleepandMuzi pl
acedhi m backinhi scot
withease.What ?Youcar rypeopl ethatinsi ston
breakingy ourbackandmaki ngy oueatt hings
youwoul dn'tl
ookatt wiceonar andom dayf or
9whol emont hsintheirent iretyonlyfort hem to
prefertheirfatherovery ou?Thi sneedsa
commi ssionofinquiry.Ipr aisedLwat oosoon.
There'snocal m here.Ther e'snepot ism.

.
..
Mypeacewashangi ngbyadi lapi datedthr ead
throughoutt heday .Thembasai dhewi l
l
contactme.Hehasn' t.Istillhopehewas
bluffi
ng.Tumi promi sedt ocomedur i
ngt he
weekendbecausehewast r
appedatwor k.Ihad
theChi ckenLi cki
nMuzi br oughthomewhi le
seatedbut t
flatont hebr owcar peti nourr oom.I
couldheart hewat erint heshowerhi tt
ingt he
ti
lesashet ookashower .Ahugepar tofme
want edtot ellhim aboutThemba.Anot herwas
afrai
d.Notofhowhewoul dr eactbutoft he
consequencesofhi mt hinkingmyl if
ei s
threatened.Isawhowhebr ut allybeatal l t
he
l
ifeoutofMbuso' sbody .Ther ational partofhis
brainstoppedwor ki ng.Itwasl ikesomewi ld
animal tookov er
.Heal way smakessur ehehas
theupperhandi nev erysi tuationbutev ery one
hasamat ch.Idon'tknowt hisThembaguyor
whathei scapabl eof .Iwantt ot el l
him.Ideepl y
andreall
ydobutIf eell
ikethiswi
llbeless
messierifIdon'
tinvol
vehi m.Thesoluti
onsar
e
scatt
eredfrom t
hepr oblem i
nmybr ain.
Nothi
ngismaki ngsense. .
.

.
..

Hecameoutoft heshowerroughlydryi
nghis
headwi t
hawhi tetowel
,andanotheraroundhis
waist.Heplacedtheoneinhandandt hen
promptedmet ogetup.Idi
dwithoutstr
uggle
andhet urnedmesohecoul dhugmef rom
behind.
"Il
ovey ou.Okay?Iloveyouwi t
hallyour
fei
stinessandev er
ystubbornparti
cleinyou.I
don'tthinkyou'
dbemyBet soi fyouwereany
otherway .Youdon'tt
akethingslyi
ngdown.
Youaskt hewhys.You'
recurious.You'
restrong.
Whichi swhyIdon'tdoubtforasecondt hat
you'l
lmakeagoodmot her.You'r
enotalonein
thi
s.Iam heret ocar r
ythisloadwi t
hyou.I'
m
notheret ohel
py ou.Iam heretoequall
yshare
i
nt heresponsibil
iti
esthatcomewi thr
aisi
ng
theseboy sandt hemanyot her
st ocomeaf t
er
them",heexpresseswi t
hhi schinonmy
shoulder.Ipl
acemyhandsont opofhisonmy
stomach.
"Al
l
owmet obethereforyou.Youdon'thaveto
doever
ythi
ngbyyoursel
f.Dropyourshoulder
s",
hesai
dandIdid.
"You'r
et ensedupandst r
essed.Babi esar every
quickinpi ckingupenergy,especiall
ycomi ng
from theirmot her
s.Pleaserelax?Ifyoucan' tdo
i
tf ormet hendoi tforthem? "
,hepl eadedandI
nodded.Ineededt ohearthis.Howev er
,thisis
notallthel oadthat'
sweighingmychestdown.

.
..
[
Thenextmor
ning]

Iwokeupwi thanannoyi
ngl
ydryandpar
ched
thr
oat.Ihadtogetuptogogetsomewater.I
gottothekit
chenandfoundmymom there
havi
ngcof f
ee.
"Whyar
eyouupsoearly
?Goodmor ni
ng",that
wasmeasIopenedthefri
dge.Sher
eleaseda
si
ghful
lofmel
anchol
y.
"Rober t
'sdaughterdiedlastnight
",shesay sand
clut
chesont ohercupwi thbothhands.I
stoppeddr i
nkingandpl acedthebl uel i
dback
ont hebottle.Isuddenlyfel
tli
kemybodywas
oper at
inginslowmot i
on.Iknewwhy .Thi
swas
notaboutRober tnorhisdaughter.Itwasabout
Kgant sho.Herhav i
ngtobet hereforRober twil
l
somehowmeanr el
ivi
ngt hegruesome
exper i
enceofl osi
ngKgant sho.Ipulledouta
chai
randj
oinedheront
hecount
er.
"
Whatcaus.
..
"
"Asthma",shecutthroughmysent encebeforeI
couldfini
shit
.Shekeptherey esonherwhi te
cupwi thbl
ackliquidcontent.It
ookbot hher
hands.Herey esdidn'
tmov efr
om thecup.She
keptthem fi
xatedthere.Thisreal
lyhadnothing
todowi thRobert'
sdaught erbutmor ewhatit
tri
ggers.
"Wil
lyoubegoingt
othefuneral
?",Iaski
na
coarsewhisper
.Myvoi
cebarelydoeswelli
nthe
morning.
"Thefuneralno.Istil
lhavetocomebackher e
andhel pyouout .Ican'
tbeinthesamepl ace
withacor psethencomebackt obearound
babies.ButIdowantt ogoseehimt omorrow",
sheinformsandThemba' sv oi
cei
mmedi atel
y
echoesi nmyhead.Whati fhestr
ikesonher
wayt here?There'samessagebeeponmy
phoneandIt akei
toutthenightr
obewithmy
otherhandholdi
ngont omymot her
's.I
twas
hi
m.Chi l
lstookashortcutv
iamystomachand
strai
ghttomyspine.Hehadsentthelocat
ion.
Het hensentanot
hertextmessagewhichread:
"Bri
ngR100Ki
nabagt
henwe'
l
lcutourl
osses.
Promise.
"
Ir
eadthemessageandr aisedmyeyest
omy
motherwhosebodywast herewi
thmebut
whosemindwasv er
yfaranddist
ant.
"OK",
Irepl
i
edandpl acedthephonebackint
o
mypocket.Icr
eatedthismess,ther
efor
eIwil
l
betheonetocleanitup.

EDI
TED.
I
nser
t110

I
tissai
dthatcur
iosi
tyki
l
ledt
hecat
.Butwhat
theynev ertellyouist hatsati
sfact i
onbr oughtit
back.Howev er
,Iam notacat .Idon' thav enine
l
ives.Thisi snotCandy Crush.Idon' thav e
rechargeablel i
ves.Iwi shIdidnotmaket hat
call
.Mymom wentbackt oherr oom t olie
downandIpacedt heki t
chent ry
ingt onegot i
ate
withmybr ainthatitgivesmeat angi bl
e
solut
iont oputt ouse.Ikeptcont inual l
yslept
thephoneagai nstmypal m.IfIgi vet hi
sman
thi
smoney , hewi l
lkeeponbl ackmai lli
ngme.
It
'sgoingt omani festintonev er-
endi ngcy cl
e
andev entual l
ycrawl outofhand.Iwentback
upstair
st ocheckont hebabiesandf eedt hem.
IfoundMuzi changingLwandi le'
sdi aper .
"
Whendi
dyoul
ear
ntodot
hat
?",
Ilaugh.
"Phel
auKuhledoesn'
twearanautomati
c
nappy"
,hefi
resshotsandIl
aughedevenhar
der
andsuckmyt eet
h.ItakeMxoandgositont
he
bedtofeedhim.
"
Ihat
ewaki
ngupandnotf
indi
ngy
oui
nbed"
,he
say
sandpi
ckst
hebabyup.
"
Igott
hir
sty
.Oi
ntshwar
elebaby
"(For
giv
eme)
"Yebobeng'f
unakonaukuk' t
shwaratshwara
manjengivukaibeddineempt y
"(Iwantedto
touchandcuddlewi t
hy oubutIwokeupt oan
empt ybed)
,hemi sunderst
andsmyst atement
i
ni t
sentir
etyandIshootoutani mmedi at
e
l
augh.
"
He-eh.Yestshwarameanstot
ouchbut
i
ntshwarel
eeragorefor
giv
eme",Icl
ari
fy,
sti
l
l
l
aughing.Helaughsaswel
l.
"Ahy abo?Ni ngningyousaidbotsai
ntswanai s
toask.I npedi i
t'
stotel
l
.I'
m nolongerput
ting
my selfthroughtri
gonometr
yinlanguageform.I
resign",hecompl ai
nsandmycheeksbegint o
burnf rom allt
helaughi
ng.

.
..
Imanagedt obat het hebabi esbuttheybegan
cryi
ngaf t
erthat ,
whi chmademef eell
ikeIdid
somethingwr ong.Mymom assur edmet hat's
probablysomet hingelse.Shesai dshenot iced
howpai nful
l
yt heysuckont hehandsand
preparedsoftpor ri
dgef orthem.Ev el
ynwas
worri
edaboutt hei rbowel mov ementsandsai d
theporri
dgemi ghtgivethem al otofdiff
icult
y
whent heyhavet odef aecate.
"Ihadtof eedporri
dgetothisonet hesame
nightshear ri
vedhomebecauseshej ust
wouldn'tkeepquiet.Aft
erthat
,shesl eptlike
shewasn' teveninthehouse",mymom
defendedasshedi sheditupintoabowl witha
woodenspoon.Thel ookonEv el
y n'
sf ace
suggesteddoubtanduneasi ness.Itrustedt hat
mymom knewwhatshewasdoi ng.Thei rcri
es
pieceeveni nnerl
ayerofmyhear t.Shef edand
burpedt hem byputti
ngthem onhershoul der
andcont i
nuousl yrubbi ngt hei rback.Thebot h
oft hem sleptaf tert hat .Hopef ullytheydon' tget
const i
pated.Wet ookt hem upst air
sandmom
stoodout sideourdoorandaskedmet ogo
checki fthecoasti sclear .Ifitwasn' t
,shewas
goingt owai tf ormet ocomeoutagai ntot ake
theot herone.Acl earcoasti nt hiscasemeant
af ull
ydressedMuzi .Icoul dn' thel pbutl augh.
Howev er,Iappr eciatedt her espectshe
por tr
ayedt owar dsmyhusband.Iwal kedi nand
foundhi m ont hebed, t opl essandonhi slaptop.
Hehadt hatser i
ousf acewhi chi sal way s
successf ul i
nchar mi ngmeof fmyf eeteach
ti
me.Muzi hast hemal ev ersionofar esti
ng
bxtchf ace.Il oveit .Wei r
dbutIl ovei tsomuch.
Heaskedmewher et heot heronei s.Ijustgav e
him anexpr essionwhi chbor der edbet weena
smi leandl aught err efusi ngt obecont ained.I
wentoutandgott hebaby .Sheshookherhead
andl aughedatt hesi ll
yexpr essi ont hatinsisted
onpast i
ngi tselfonmyf ace.Shet henl eft
.
Iputthebabiesdownandwentov ert
ocollecta
ki
ssfrom him.Hehadpaper si
ntheotherhand
andsoftl
yplacedtheotheronmywaist.He
ti
lt
edhisfacesoIcouldkisshi
m asIstood
overhim.
"
Yougood?"
,heaskedandbrushedt
hesi
deof
mywai
st.It
ookadeepsigh.
"Yini
?"(
Whatisit
?),headded.Iaskedhim move
hislaptopsowecoul dtal
k.Hedidandlif
tedhis
feetoffthebedsotheycoul dt
ouchthecarpet
.
Heaskedmet ositinbetweenhisthi
ghs.Idi
d
andhepl acedhi
shandont hesmallofmyback.
Ididnotknowwheretoevenst
artscr
api
ngthi
s
i
ceberg.Iplacedmyhandonmyneckandtook
yetanotherdeepsi
gh.
"Khul
umanami"
(Tal
ktome),hisdeepand
assuri
ngvoi
cemakesev
ery
thingfeell
i
keit'
s
resol
vabl
e.
"
I'
mint
roubl
e",
Isai
dinadoubt
ful
whi
sper
.
"Whatkindoftroubl
e?"
,heaskedandIl
ooked
away,andplacedbothmyhandsonmyt hi
ghs.
"BabyIcan'
thel
pyoui
fyoudon'
ttel
lwhat
's
goingon?"
Iwi
denedmyey eshopingtoseeapossibl
e
sol
uti
onwi
thoutinvol
vinghimint
his.The
sol
uti
onmarkeditsel
fabsent.
"Whateveri
tissurel
yitcanbefixed.Nowtel
l
meukut hiwenzen"(
..
.whatyou'
vedone),
he
per
sistsandIlookhimi ntheey
e.
"
Ical
ledsomeoneIshoul
dn'
thav
e",Isayandit
t
akeshim af
ewsecondstonodinslowmotion.
"O-
kay.Whoist
hissomeone?
",hequest
ions
andIswal
low.
"
Det
ect
iveThemba"
,Iner
vousl
yst
ate.
"Who'
sdet
ec..
.wait
..
.ThembaThembawase
KZN?"
,hecont
inuestoint
err
ogat
eandInoda
fewt i
mes.Icouldn'
treadtheexpr essiononhis
face.Itl
ookedli
keangerbuti tcouldeasilybe
i
nt er
pret
edasconf usi
on.Het ookamomentt o
digestwhatIhadjusttoldhim.Orr ather,
to
choosehi swor
dscar eful
ly
.
"
Why
?",
heaskedi
nahusk.
"Remembert
hedayKgokaganocamet omy
mom'shouseandyouf
oundhimt her
e?",
he
nods.
"Hehadsentmeanemai lt
hatafter
noonwhi ch
Ionl
ygottoseeaf terthatwholedrama.He
camebecausehewant edtotellmehisf i
ndings
i
nperson",Iproceededtomeekl yexpl
ain.The
l
ookinhisey essuggestedthatIshoul
d
cont
inue.
"Sohesentmeanemai lwi
tharecor
dingofan
i
nterr
ogati
ononit
.BetweenThembaanda
womanwhosev oi
cesoundedli
keGugu's.My
curi
osi
tygott
hebett
erofmeandIcal l
edhim"
"
Okay.I
'm wai
ti
ngf
orthepartwher
ey ouexplai
n
whatki
ndoftr
oubl
eyou'
rein",
hecalmlystat
es.
"Hesomehowmanagedt otracemycal landmy
personali
nfor
mat i
on.Nowhe' sthreateni
ngto
harm mymom i fIdon'
tbringR100Kt ohim
toni
ght.HesaidifIdosomet hingstupidli
ke
tel
li
ngy ouaboutthi
sthen...
",t
hefrownonhi s
facegainsmoredefini
ti
onasIexpl ain.
"Sohe'
sstal
ki
ngmam'Vee?"
,heasks,
tomake
surehehear
dmecorr
ectl
y.Inod.
"
Wher
e'st
her
ecor
ding?
"
"Onmyl apt
op.Whathappenedt
oMbuso'st
win
baby?Whatr eal
l
yhappened?Pl
easet
ell
methe
trut
h?"
Hedropshisfaceinexhaust
ion,l
ooksupand
runshispal
m againsti
t.Hepromptsmetoget
upandIdo.Het henstandsandheadstothe
bathr
oom.
Hecomesbackwi thawetfaceandsni f
fs.He
dropshi
swhol eweightonthebedandgent ly
pull
smesoIcansi tontheverysameposi t
ionI
wasseatedonbef orehewentandt r
iedto
drownhi
sst r
essint hebasi
n.Heshootsoutai r
anddefl
ateshischeeksbeforehecanspeak.
"Imightaswell
justtellyouthet r
ut h.Il
i
ed.
Bheki di
dnotdi
einacaracci dent".Bheki?That
wouldbeMbuso' stwin.Ijuststaredwai t
ingfor
himt ogoon.
"Ibeathim up.Todeat h.I'
m notproudofitbutI
don'tregretiteit
her.Ibarelyfi
ghtbecauseI
hatetheendr esult
.Ican'tcontrolmysel
fonceI
startbeatingsomebodyup.I 'm notamonster.I
don'tkil
lforfun",heconf esses.
"Why?Whydoyouhavetotakeital
lthewayt o
deat
hwhenyoucanjustenditwhenthelesson
hasbeenl
ear
nt?"
,It
akeasof tappr
oach.
"
Idon'
tknowf
orsur
e.ButIt
hinki
thas
somethi
ngtodowithmychi
l
dhoodt
raumas
andshxt
",hel
etsout
.
"Whathappenediny
ourchi
l
dhood?
",Iquest
ion
andheexhales.
"
Iwasbull
iedonmyf i
rstdayofschool
.In
"
SubA"
",hetweakshisindexandmiddl
efinger
t
wicef
oremphasis.Ikeepquiet
.
"Itri
edst andingupf ormy selfbutIj ustwasn' t
strongenough.Hewas3y earsol dert hanme
andhewoul dbeatmeupf orabsol utelyno
reason.Unpr ov oked.Whenev erhef oundmeby
my selfinthel oooranyasecl udedar eaIknewI
wasgoi ngtogetawhoopi ng.Hehadt hetime
ofhi sli
fewi t
hl unchboxesandmoney .Somuch
thatwaki ngupt ogot oschool wasan
emot ionalstrugglef orme.Icoul dn'tbr i
ng
my selftotellany one.Iwasy oungbutIf el
tli
ke
aweakl ingbecauseIwast heal way st heleader
i
nmysquadsbymer evir
tueofmyst at usasa
prince.Butt ohim Iwasnot hi
ng.Andhemade
sureIfel
titt
othecor
e",
heexpl
ained
thoughtf
ull
y.
"Oneday ,hebeatmei ntoconcussi onand
probabl yfledandl eftmei nthet oil
ets.Iwoke
upatt hehospi t
alandmypr i
dest il
l r
efusedto
l
etany bodyknow.Mymom wasi nEngl andat
thetime.UBabaandMQt r
iedev erythingto
suckt het ruthoutofmebutIj ustcoul dn'
t
humi l
iatemy selfl
ikethat.ThenManqobagot
i
ntot hishabi tofpickingmeupf rom mycl ass
everylunchandschool -out.Hewat chedmel ike
ahawkunt ilIgotsickofitandy ell
edathi mto
stop",Iwr appedmyar m aroundhi sneckashe
explained.Heobv iouslyhasn'theal edf r
om any
ofthis.Het ookaheav ybreathbef orehecoul d
continuewi t
hhi sstory.
"Hesawiffitt
oteachmehowt of
ight.Every
day
at3PM withoutf
ail.Hisexactwordswer e
"Ntwanayam,don'tbeacheeseboyj ust
becauseuphumaeb' khosi
ni.Uzol
i
mal a.Iwant
yout obeabl etost andupf ory ourself.Iwantt o
protecty oubutI '
m notGodsoIcan' tbe
everywher e".Ibeganenj oyi
ngt heclassesso
mucht hatIpr actisedbymy sel
finmyr oom.
Thenonedayy abhai zaibhariandt ri
edt ocome
forme.Ir oughedhi m sobadhebl edf rom hi s
noseandmout h.Mymi ndwasbl ockeddur ing
thatmomentbecauseIonl ygott oseet hat
almostt hewhol eschool wassur r
oundi ngus
whenManqobapul ledmef rom him bef or eI
coulddoanyf urt
herdamage.Iwasn' tsat i
sfied.
Iwant edt obeathi m upsomemor ef ormaki ng
mef eel t
hathel plessandweak, butInev ersaw
him everagai nsi ncet hatday",hewr appedup
hisstoryandmyhear tbrokeev enf urther.
"Uncl
enchy
ourj
aws"
,Iaskedofhi
m andhe
obli
ged.
"
Dropy
ourchestandshoul
der
s",
hedi
d.
"
Youneedtoseesomeone.Orel
se,
you'
regoi
ng
t
owanttoset
tlet
hatanci
entandol
dscorewi
th
every
oneyoufi
ghtwit
h",
Isayandhedr
opshis
facetohi
schest
.Ipul
lhi
sheadtomybreast
s
andhughim.

Her
aisedhi
sheadaf
terawhi
l
e.
"Ther ewast hisonet imeIdon' tremember
wher eMQandIhadwentanduMaDl ami niwas
home.Whenwecameback, IfounduBheki
choki ngandf or cinghi mselfontoher .The
i
magei sstillver yclearinmyhead.Al l
Icould
thinkofi sther emar ksheusedt omakeabout
howgor geousshel ooksindr essesandIwent
nut s.Wegoti nt oaf ightandIbr okehi sneck.
Thepol icecameandar r
estedmef orabouta
week.Wef oundawayt omaket hecase
disappearbypay ingt hi
sv eryDetecti
v eThemba
tomakehi mf or gett hatsuchadocketev er
existed",heexpl ainedandIdar tedmyey es
around.
"
Yini
?"(
Whati
sit
?),
heaskedi
nsuspi
cion.
"
Lut
ho.I
'
mjust
..
."
"
Outwi
thi
t"
,hecommanded.
"Ent
li
kletmeseethi
semailyou'
retal
king
about"
,hecut
sinbefor
eIcouldrespond.
"Idon'tthi
nkt hat'
sagoodidea",Isayandhe
l
ooksatmewi t
hthat"I
'
m notgonnaasky ou
twice"look.Isighbefor
eIcangetupt of etch
myl aptop.Igot otheemailandhandt hedevice
tohim.Her eadsitandplay
st herecor
dingasI
sitbesidehim.

"
Okay
.Iwas.Iwassl
eepi
ngwi
thhi
m"
"
Comeagai
n?Loudert
hist
ime?
"
"
Isai
dIwassl
eepi
ngwi
thhi
m!"
"
Okay
.St
artf
rom t
hebegi
nni
ng.
..
"
Hismout hhungopen.Onecoul dn'tmissthe
conf usioninhisey es.Hescof f
edi nutter
disbeliefandpl acedhishandonhi smout h.One
oft hebabi esbegancr yingandIgotupt o
attendt ohi m.Imademywayoutandbumped
i
nt oEv ely
ni nthecor r
idor.Sheofferedtotake
him bef oreIcouldev enask.Iwentbacki nto
ther oom andcl osedt hedoor.Muzi wasont he
phone.
"
Nahwealr
eadyhav
ethel
ocat
ion.Ij
ustneed
y
outobr
ingmeonehundr
edbl
ocks.Cash"
"
There'
snoti
metogot
othebank.Br
ingt
he
moneyher
eASAP"
"Naht hat'
stoorisky
.Wedon'tknowwhoel se
he'swor ki
ngwith.Ifeell
i
keIneedtohavea
clearconversat
ionwi t
hhimfacetoface"
"
Idon'
tknowmf
'wet
hu"
"
Sur
e"
Hecutt
hecal
landIj
ustst
oodt
her
e.
"Pl
easebecar ef
ul.Idon'
twantanythi
ng
happeningt omymom butIal sodon'twanty ou
togethur tei
ther"
,Isayandhedropshi shands
withhisphonei nhisleft
.Hegestur
est hatI
shouldcomef orahugandIgof all
intohis
armswi thurgency.Icouldf
eelhi
swar m breath
l
eav i
nghisnoseabov emyhead.
"Don'
tworr
yaboutme.Thembaisnotthat
smart.Hei
sjustacommon,ov
erlygr
eedy
poli
ceman"
"
What
'sy
ourpl
an?
"
"Idon'tknowy etbutIneedt oestablishwhet her
you'r
ebei ngwat chedornot "
,hesay sandmy
bloodst ar t
sturningi
ntosnow.Mymi nd
somehowgoesbackt othetimewher eIwentt o
KZNt ov isi
tMuzi aft
erhisaccident.Mbusoand
Mabuy ihadami nial
tercat
ionatt hedoorandI
didn'
tt hinkmuchofi t
.Nowt hatI'm entertai
ning
i
t,itallmakessense.Thoset wodi dn'tl
ikeeach
other.Mbusoknewaboutt heaffair!
.
..

Manqobacamewi ththemoneyandMuzi took

i
tupst ai
rs.TheywenttothestudyandI
fol
lowedt hem.Thelooksontheirf
acesdidnot
evenfazemeonebi t.Theyreali
zedthatIwas
notaboutt ogiv
einsotheygav eupont r
yingt
o
i
ntimidateme.
"Youwer eri
ght
.Kunebharil
angaphandlei
na
greyToyotawatchi
ngthishouse.He'
sbeen
parkedatthehouseopposit
ethisonesoit
l
ooksl i
kehe'svi
sit
ingorsomeshxt",
Manqoba
explai
ns.
"DAMMIT!
",Muzi
'
sfi
stsat
tackt
hei
nnocent
desk.
"Soyouneedtofi
ndamor esmarterwaytoget
tothel
ocati
on"
,Manqobadirect
sthistoMuzi
andMuzidropshi
mselfonthechair.
"
Howabout
..
.Bet
sodr
ivest
o..
."
"
No",Muzi
int
errupt
sbef
oreManqobacoul
d
f
ini
shhi
ssentence
"Nol alel
a.There'
sonl yonewayt oputanendt o
thi
smess.Hearmeout .Iknowhowt hemi nds
ofthesef oolswor k.Theirplani sprobablynot
event hatsophisti
cat ed.Yougeti nthebackseat
andl ieoftheflooroft hecar .Butshehast o
dri
veoutf r
om thecl osedgar ageandsoshe
can'ttakethecart hat '
soutside.Hewi l
lfol
low
heroutt omakesur et hatshedoesn' tdo
anythingfunnyont hewayt her e.Oncet hat
happenswesur r
oundt hi
swhol eyardwi t
h
armedguar ds.Iwilldistr
acthim somehowon
theroad.Wheny ougett here,Betsost aysinthe
cartheny oudeal wi t
ht hemenace? "
Muzisatther
edr owni
ngi
nhi
sownt
hought
s
andcontemplat
ions.
.
..

WhenThembasai dIshoul dmeethim ataround

23h30,hewashopi ngthatever
yonewoul dbe
asleepbythenandIwoul dbeabletosneakout
withoutanysuspi
cious.Muzipl
acedagunat
thebackofhisbeltandzippeduphisjacket.
"Wheredi dy ougett hat?"
,IaskedasIr aisedmy
headfrom t hecotasIwaski ssingmybabi es
goodnight.Any thingcouldhappent onight.Muzi
ref
usedt il
lhegav eint omycomi ngwi t
h.He
mademepr omi set ostayinthecar .Itbecame
evi
denthowEv elynknewal labouthersons
shadychar acterwhenshedi dnotev enbot her
toquestionwhyshehast owat chthebabi es.
Mymom wasal readyasleep.Manqobal ef ti
n
theaft
ernoonbutf orcoversake.Hepr omi sed
tobeinthenei ghbor hoodsomewher e.Ididnot
evenwantt oaskanyf urt
her.Wegoti ntot he
garagethrought heconnect i
ngdoorandMuz i
j
ammedi nhi
sst
epsi
ndoubt
.Her
aisedhi
s
eyesl
ookatme.
"Nahbabyst ay.I
'
llcomeupwi thanotherpl
an"
,
hesaysandIi mmedi atelytel
lhi
mt hatwedon't
haveti
mef oranotherpl an.It
oldhim mymom
i
sgoingbackt oLimpoposoonandt hatI
wouldn'
tforgiv
emy sel
fifanythi
ngwast o
happentoher .
"
I'
ll
getheraguar
d"
"Nobabyt hat'
saddingf uelt
ot hefi
re.Let'
sjust
go",Ipleaded.Ididnotcar ewhatwoul dhappen
toThemba.Icar edwhatwoul dhappent omy
mom, becauseofmyi mpulsecur i
osityand
stupidi
ty.Igotmy selfintot
hesameci rcl
ewi t
h
kak'kypeopl el
ikeThemba.Shedeser v es
absolutelynowr at
hf rom myconsequences.
"Idon'
twanttoinvol
vey
oui
nthi
s",
he
expressessi
ncerel
y.
"
I'
mtheonewhoi
nvol
vedy
ou.Let
'sgo"
,Ibeg
andhel ooksasi debef or ehecoul dexhal e.He
get sintot hebackandIhopi ntot hef r
ontand
placet hebagofmoneyi nthepassengerseat .
Thecaral ertst hatIshoul dputonmyseatbel t
andIdo.Ipr esst her emot ef orthedoorandi t
slidesupasIwai tforitt obeopencompl etely.I
driveoutoft hegar ageandal sooutt hegat e.
Myhear twaspul satinginmyst omach.
Manqoba' spr edictionswer espoton.Inot iced
theToy otadr i
vingf rom behi ndme.Iwast ightly
hol di
ngont ot hest eeringwheel withsweat y
hands.Ikeptt aki ngdeepbr eathsi nandout .
Wewer eget tingcl osert ot helocat ionandt he
carwasst il
lbehi ndme.Anol dsandt r
uckgot
i
nt other i
ghtl anef r om behi ndusand
i
nt entional l
yandcont i
nuallycollidedwi ththe
carf r
om t hesi des.Thedr i
vert ri
edkeepi nghi s
cont r
ol intactbuthewasf aili
ngdi smal l
y.The
truckwentf oraf i
nal har dknockandshov ed
thecarf rom of ft her oad.Thesandf el
lofft he
truckandIwat chedasi tcont i
nuedt oblockt he
road.Lucki
l
y,thi
sdoesntl
ookli
kearoadthat
's
commonl yusedsoitwasfai
rl
yemptymostof
theti
me.Thei nt
enti
onwasn'
ttoki
ll
him wasit
?
Wher edidManqobaevengetasandtr
uck?
Withsandinit?Chaai
i.

Icont
inuedt
odr
iveandmyphoner
ang.
"
Yes?
"
"
You'
re2mi nuteslate"
,hescoldedinpani
c.
Manqobawasr ightonceagain.Thisi
sproof
t
hathedoesn'tknowwhathe' sdoing.
"
I'
m her
e",IsayasIdr
ivei
ntot
hegat
eofwhat
l
ookedl
ikeanabandonedfact
ory
.
"Okay.Icanseeyourcar.Dri
veintotheparki
ng
l
ot.Throughthedemol i
shedwall"
,hesaysandI
fol
lowhi si
nstr
uct
ions.Hecutthecal l
whenI
tur
nedt heengi
neof f
.Theplacelookedallty
pes
andvarieti
esofdodgy.Thewasaf l
i
ckeri
ng
l
ightwhichmadei teasyformet oseehisoutfi
t
butnothi
sface.Hewasonatadi
stancef
rom
me.Igotoutofthecarwi
tht
hemoney.
"Sawubonankosazana"
,hesai
dandI
swall
owed.Hard.
"He..
.hel
l
o",Igreet
edback.Mynosewas
alr
eadygett
ingcold.Ifhell
hasdepar
tment
s,
thi
sisdefi
nit
elyafranchisefr
om t
here.
"Don'tl
ooksoscar ed.Ipr
omise.Thi
sisjust
business.Ireall
yneededt hecash.I
'
m sorryt
o
ambushy oulikethis"
,hesaysandapproaches
me.
"I
t'sokay
.Justt akethemoney .Ineedtogo
backhomet omyhusbandbef or ehest ar
ts
suspecti
ngt hatI'
m notther
e",
hef inal
lygets
closetome.Cl oseformynost ri
lstosense
whathesmel l
slikebutnotenoughf ormet o
hearhim breath.Hebeginsscanningmef r
om
toptotoe,andbackup.
"
Kodwaumuhl
eyazi
.Nat
ural
l
y.Ev
ery
thi
ng
aboutyouisbeaut i
ful.OMuzi badl akamnandi
futhi
ngiyacabangaukut hi..
."(
You' resobeautif
ul
youknow. .
.Muzi surelyfeastsy ouwithasmi l
e
onhisfaceandIt hink...
),hedi dn'tgettofi
nish
hissent
ence.Muzi wasal readyoutoft hecar
andont opofhim.Het hrewaf ewheav y
punchesandThembawasal r
eadyscr eaming
abouthowdeadhewas.
"Gugu?!"
,Iyel
l
edwhenshewant edt otur
nback
atthereali
zat
iont
hatMuzi wast here.Muzi
rai
sedhisfacetoseeher.Hishandswer eon
Themba'sneckstrangl
i
nghim.Hel etgoofhim
andstoodup.Thembar anoffrubbinghisneck
andcoughing.
"KuseCanadala?Wozal a!
"(I
sthi
stheCanada
youwerespeakingof?Comeher e!
), hesai
dand
gestur
edwithhisfi
ngerthatsheshouldcome
tohim.Shewasf r
ozenwi t
hherbackagai nstus.
Whatthehelli
ssheev endoinghere?Wi t
ha
gun?Shetookaonest epturnandf acedhim.
"Whatar
ey oudoi
nghereGugul
ethu?
",he
sneer
ed.Sheswall
owed.
"Youbeingher
ewasnotpl
anoft
hepl
an"
,she
confessed.
"
Uy ahl
anyaoruyaz
enzisa?"
(Ar
eyoucr
azyori
s
i
tjustanact?
),Muziasked.
"
Howcoul
dyou?
",hewenton.
"Hm?Howcoul dyousleepwithmybrot
herand
pret
endthatyoudidn'
tconsentt
oitj
ust
becauseyougotcaught?!
"
"
Yout
oldhi
m?"
,shehi
ssedatme.
"Leav
eheroutofthis"
,heexclai
med.She
thi
nnedhereyesandscoffed.Shet
henrai
sed
herarm andext
endeditt
oai m.
"
Youwoul
dn'
tdar
e",
cal
mly
,Muzi
sai
d.
"Al
so,whyisy
ourl ocati
onoutsi
deofSAwhen
you'
reher
e?Wher e'syourneckl
ace?
",Muzi
addedandsheignor edhi
m.
"Iacceptedy ouasumnakwet hu.Truthfull
y.I
war nedy ouoncet hatyouandIwon' thav eto
fightjustaslongasy oudon'tthreatenmy
fami l
y.Andwhatdoy oudo?Yindoday amile!
Andy ou,Ibentoverbackwar dstomakesur e
thatev eryneedofy oursi
smetandt odayyou'r
e
gonnast andt her
eandbl atantl
ychooseher
ov erme? !"
,sheventsandcockst hegun.
"
Guguputt
hegundown!!"
,Ibegthr
oughmy
t
rembl
ingl
i
ps.Muzipul
l
southisandIheara
l
oudandanunapol
oget
icgunshotgoof
f.
..

[
THEEND]
[
UNEDI
TED]