Pacific Stars and Stripes 1955

All rights reserved.

Copyright 1955 Foreword
The day I met Shel Silverstein he was a
mighty sea-sick soldier.
We were on a troopship bound for Yokohama
from the U.S. and were assigned to the ship's
newspaper. Despite the way he felt, Shel drew
the cartoons and had the fatigue-capped passengers
laughing to match the roll of the boat. His humor
was straight from the stomach.
After arriving in Tokyo he was sent to Pacific
Stars and Stripes. Here Shel began to draw and
draw furiously. His cartoons started appearing
three times weekly and they spoke the universal
language of soldierdom-he was an immediate
success.
Silverstein had a little "uchi" or Japanese
room, a few blocks from the S&S plant and he
would sit there in the evening in a loose-hanging
yukata and put down on paper every idea that
came into his head. Then, as the sullen heat of
the Tokyo night eased a bit, he would begin to
sketch and draw.
Printed in Tokyo, Japan His technique followed a simple pattern. First
Kyoya Printing Company he thought of an object-say, his first sergeant.
He'd concentrate until he would come up with 20
or 30 gags on the one subject. Out of it came
situations peopled by his long-nosed characters,
his little men, his giants, the animals and the
strange creatures for which he has a special affec-
tion.
In a letter to the home office, Bob Brown of
the S&S Seoul Bureau wrote:
"He stays up all night chewing pencils, draw-
ing cartoons and writing ideas on little scraps of For my grandmother
paper he never finds again. In the first twenty
minutes he was here he had our little office more
cluttered than the convention hall in his native
Chicago."
"But," added Brown, "he knows the people
he draws. He's lived through the same experiences
and heard the same lines. In Korea, he has spent
his time up front in the outposts and the squad
tents with the fellows he wanted most to please."
Like Silverstein himself, there is nothing pre-
tentious or stylized about his work. His cartoons
identify themselves with a situation but never
become a victim of it. Always on the thoroughly
bright side, they are the voice of the whole rather
than of the individual. Everything he does is alive
with his own personality-rugged exterior, gravel
voice, his tremendous energy and enthusiasm.
Here then are the simplicities as well as the
subtleties- the obvious and the obtuse- the
wonderful conglomerate of a man who loves to
write, to draw, to create--and best of all-who
loves to laugh.
Robert D. Sweeney
Pacific Stars and Stripes
March, 1955
 ).).

" ... and stop saying " I've been around! "
"It's from my friends and nei'ghbors ... "

(J

" No, but we will try to work

you into Special Services ... "
"And don't 'Sir' me . . .I' m only a sergeant! "
 @ @) @ (§)

~~o$;$ ~~~ ~

" Get below, Callinsworth ... You're not at Princeton, now!"

"EVERYBODY can't have a new uniform ..."

 " Well, you're not a vaudeville comedian any more,
" Other guys have thought they Monahan ... you're a COOK... a COOK, hear me ... a COOK!"
were bigger than the Army."
 ...
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to 1, , 0

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"But if we WERE eligible for promotion,
think of all the time in grade we'd have ... "
"But then again,
we can't very well put you
in the CAVALRY, either!"

"And then I'm going to meet the other

guys and were all going bowling."
" Yes, Zimmerman,
but there is more to
soldiering than merely
'standing tall'."

" I just got a ' Dear Ivan '."

 ..
......... .·.:.
:··...:i. ~ . ;~ ..

"All right, wise guy, let's get it

ALL on ... Major Ernest Newton!" "A bit late to think of the Air Force now, Callahan
... You're infantry and you'll STAY infantry!"
 Your Service Club

"O.K, who'se been sneaking

meat into the hamburger.. .!"
 "I don't think it's quite accurate to write
" Why isn't Donovan on the duty roster?" your folks that you're a prisoner of war."
"And this is our staff. .. Shorty ... Curley ... Skinny ... and... er... um .. .Miss johnson!,
 j
" There's the guy, Sarge ... He's been
fouling up the head count all week!"
" I want to see that safety pin SHINE!"
" Well, well ... I see where jack Demps~
knocked out Firpo in the second round ...
 "At first I thought it was just a wart ... "

"I have seen men out of unzform before, but ... "
"Awwk ... Shape up ... awwk. .. ship
out ...you've had it ... you awwk ...
better believe it ... awwwk ... "

. .. . . ..,.
.
.. .·

.u

" Any more horsing around and I'll pull ALL your Passes! "
''Star Light... Star Bright..."

" Once ol' Dawson gets wound

up, he can talk all afternoon!"
"]ust"think, Emily ... Then we'd have 12 stripes between us! "

" Shape up, or ship out! "

 "When you're
on latrine detail, Hakim,
YOU pull latrine detail!"

"So I says to this guy down at C and A.

~Look here, Mac,' I says, ~I came here to
have my profile changed and I'm going to
have my profile changed'! "

0
" What do you mean, Where' s the latrine?. ..
This IS the latrine!"
" Betty , I ADO RE you ... able ... dog .. .
oboe ... Roger .. .
easy ... "

" Tighten up that sling!,

"So what?.. General Grant was RA ...
George Washington was RA ...
Stonewall Jackson was RA ... "

" And then we all went home and

put on our fathers old uniforms." ·
" The trouble with you, Nolan, is that ''The poster said, 'JOIN NOW... CLIMB THE LADDER!'
you expect extra special treatment! " ... and I, thinking it was the fire department ... "
 " Ycu're restrided!"

"Let's try singing 'For He's A Jolly Good Fellow'."

 "Now he's stopped breathing ...
Some guys'll do ANYTHING to
get out of training."

.
" That cap is supposed to be two fizngers ,,
above your left eye·
 0

".Well, the first thing to do is find a bright

jJiece of cloth for a distress flag ... "
"Here comes the Old Man ,
 ~0
lv{
" So, not being able to sleep, I figured I might as well
~·
take some of my dirty clothes down to be cleaned, so I
put them in my AWOL bag and grab a bus down to
the cleaners ... well, Sir, I guess I must have dozed off
because the next thing I remember is the bus stopping
and there I was back home in Chicago .. .' Gee-whiz!'
I yelled, 'I'm on the wrong bus'!"
"Holloway got busted all the way down!"
 "For the last tim£, Dickson, I am NOT
transferring you to Special Services! "

"Strauss .. .you'll sign a statem£nt of charges for this!"

" Salsburry
, .. .you ,re not CO "OhI, sure
this do
Tokyo. dut y beats Korea all .
you re not SECURITY ST conscious but mtss those R an d Rs ...
' " rzght '
not C. B.R. conscious co · ...you're
, nsctous ...
.. .you re not ... "
 . :'t
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.
" What do you guys do for excztemen t aroun d here.;:J"
" Sure I' tn glad I got promoted.. .I just
hate losing all that time in grade!"
 "And that's another thing, Schwartz... we're
not too satisfied with your attitude, either!,

"Ah, Lieutenant Wilcox, I'm glad your still here ...

It seems there's been a mistake in orders ... seems it's
Lieutenant WILSON who's going to Korea and not
you and ... Wilcox?. ..Lt. Wilcox? ... "
 " As soon as the S-E-R-G- E - A - N - T goes,
we can S-C-R-A-M!"

"Pssst. ·.Merry Christmas..."

"Still riding the ol' sick list, eh, Carpenter ... " "Only six months ... Why kid I've got more time
in the chow hall than you have in the Army."
 " You know the rules
about no pets in the bar-
racks, Garrity"

I
·fiJ

"And what's more .. .! don't like it ..."

" First of all I want to appologize (or gigging you
on a filthy rifle... And I'm sorry I told you you'd
never make it... and as for your haircut..."

"I don't like getting out of the sack

on these cold mornings, either, Hicks! "
"Well, here's that USO show you were raving about ..." " To be perfectly frank, Sir, there isn't ROOM for an M-1."
...

--
~

1 . have plenty of ti
"I .
;ust don't have ROOM!,
me zn grade ...
" 0' l Everett will do ANYTHING Jor
.r a laugh!·~
 C ::= .
.. ..
..
.. , ..

" There's a time for 'St. james Infirmary Blues,•

Blakesley ... and there's a time for REVILLE!"

"Hmmm ... a little 1700 shadow .. ."

 "Snap out of it AI, other guys
have gotten 'D:;ar johns'.·."

I •

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~.'I • , • • •
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'·'· '.

"And don't try any funny stuff, Slim ... "

" I want one that says ' You WILL keep off the grass'!"
 Did you, or
"B honest wtt. h me Ramsay... . ;J"
t this mornmg.
did eyou not sht'ne your boo s

.. When ol' Baker companythey

:+.·es an area, "
Z.eau t tJt
BEA
. UTIFY an area.
 ••
'I~ ' .. •
"And in the evenzngs,
· we all ptay zn
. the sandbox."

"m ow.. .Imagine tel/in o ,

Pershing .-ry z·k g l General
0'-' ) z e that!"
"Frankly, Pvt. jorgenson ... you don't show me much! "
"And there just bPtter not be any dust up there!"

" I heard Korea was dusty but I never

though it was THIS dusty ..."
 " That's strange ... when I told that joke
to the troops, everybody laughed."
"I'm checking the regulation book now, Sir."
 "No shave ... no haircut ... Sergeant, get
this man's ... er... um ... serial number!"

" At first it looked as if I'd get off

with just company punishment..."
" I distinctly said, .. .
'everything that
does NOT grow '!"

"joan ... dearest ... Won't you change

your serial number to mine."
 ~!.
~
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"

"But Sarge ... You said you didn't want to see

"And hereafter, Weems, refer to this as the Third anything but shoe soles and elbows and... "
Poultry Storage Unit ... and not 'that chicken outfit'!"
 " ... so this MP comes up to my SFC and asks to
see his ID ... seems that some VIP at G-2 called
the CICCQ and since the NCOIC was away on
TDY the CQ checked with the OD and according
to a new SR, all NCOs get TPA only if, .."

" When I get into my civies I

forget all about the Army!"
 " I don't care what the sergeant said, Bob
" Shape up! " ... You're my idea of a sharp soldier!"
 PSYC OI.OGieAt.
:.. WARFA'R'£ .::-.·

"I don't think you COULD get me a

drink of water ... even zf you wanted to. "

" Coo-coo, coo-coo, ... rise and shine ... coo-coo, let's
hit it, coo-coo, grab your socks, coo-coo, coo-coo .. ."
"s·zmply answer ' I d ,
M
ot, 'You better'bet·teveo it'."
, Sergeant 0 0 0
"Happy New Year, men " "Happy New Year, sir!" '' And what else
did you miss
in Korea, Herb?"
"My greatest thrill ... Well, I guess it was my first day ··You were a lousy soldierandylJU're a lJUsy CIVILIAN!"
in the majors ... We beat Cleveland and after the game
this girl invites me up to her apartment ... we/1 sir ... "
"Oh let's not call it a BUST, Larson ... Let's say in-
stead that you h:we reverted to your Permamnt rank."

"Sure, but who do you think'll police it up ... "

"Frank!... Frank Thackary! ... You old son of a gun .. .!
haven't seen you since Anzio... How are you?... Where've
you been?... Straighten that tie!... How's the family?. .."

'" Moshi-moshi .. .I mean HELLO Marge. This

is Birr-san-I mean BILL. . .yeah, I just landed
in Seattle a sukoshi- a LITTLE WHILE
ago ... Sure I'm dai job-er, FINE. .. Nani?"
"It's just like you left it, Phil ... we haven't changed a thing." " That 'NO SWEAT' expression may have gone in
the Army, Simms, but it doesn't go HERE!"
 r
"Don't you have ANY with dragons on the back?"

"Ed is so affedionate since he got back ...

Calls me his little honey bucket ..."
 About the artist:
Sheldon A. Silverstein was born in 1930, on
Chicago's northwest side. He studied art for one
year· at the Chicago Academy of Fine Arts and
English for four years at the University of Illinois
and Roosevelt College. His work as an artist began
while he was a hot dog vendor in the Chicago
ball parks.
The army drafted him in September, 1953 and
he served at Ft. Riley Kansas and Ft. Belvoir
Va , before coming to the Far East and Stars
and Stripes.
He is a P .F.C.
This is his first book.

"Let's sec now .. finished school in '51 .. .spent four months

in Texas ... two weeks in Seattle ... a week in ]apan~·,-,14
months in Korea ... Can't seem to settle down, can you.