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GENERAL ENGLISH · ENGLISH IN VIDEO · UPPER-INTERMEDIATE (B2-C1)

WHY DO
WE LOVE?
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1 Warm up

With your partner, talk about the questions below.

1. What pops into your head when you see the word, love?
2. Do you think that you are a romantic person?
3. How can you tell that you love somebody?
4. Do you believe that everybody has a soulmate, or do you think that is nonsense?
5. Do you think that some animals can have romantic thoughts?

2 Focus on vocabulary A

Part A: Add the following extracts to the gaps in the definitions.

difficult or unpleasant produce children strong wish unusual your appearance

1. emotional wringer (idiom) - an experience that is

2. disguise (n) - something that you can use to change

3. desire (n) - a to do or have something

4. procreate (v) - to , animals

5. intriguing (adj.) - very interesting because it is

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Part B: Now complete the sentences with appropriate words from Part A.

1. I attended a talk that was because it looked at theories relating to the existence
of aliens.

2. My friends had a to travel to every continent before they turned 40.

3. When David thought about being a teenager, he just remembered years of going through the
.

4. I think that my outward personality is a from who I really am inside.

5. The book I am reading these days is talking about a future where humans are unable to
.

Part C: Personalise the vocabulary: share your opinions with your classmates using the questions
below.

1. What is the most intriguing book you have ever read?

2. Can you remember an emotional time when you felt like you had been put through the wringer?
3. Do you have the desire to travel to other parts of the world?
4. Do you feel like you wear a disguise when you are at work?
5. How do you think we can encourage endangered animals to procreate?

3 Understanding the main idea

Listen to the introduction of the TED talk by Skye C. Cleary called "Why do we love? A philosophical
inquiry" (00:00-00:46), then decide if the following statements are true (T) or false (F). If the statements
are false, then change them to true.

1. Love is described as "beautiful and incomprehensible".

2. The speaker asks if love gives our life meaning.

3. The world of science has clear reasoning for why we feel love.

4. There have been interesting concepts suggested by philosophers.

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WHY DO WE LOVE?

4 Listening comprehension

Listen to the rest of the video (00:54-05:13) and select the correct answer for the following questions.

1. What was the main point of Aristophanes’ story?

a. everybody should love themselves

b. all people are incomplete

c. only some people have soulmates

d. humans should be loveless

2. What does nature trick us into doing?

a. loving everybody

b. having children

c. finding a soulmate

d. building a home

3. Why do humans have to "build hard shells"?

a. we are scared of love

b. we are scared of being alone

c. we are scared of the cold, cruel world

d. we are scared of having children

4. What did Buddha say about our "passionate cravings"?

a. they are defects

b. they are natural

c. they are positives

d. they are talents practised under stressful conditions and have a post-performance routine

5. What happens when Jia Rui looks at the front of the mirror?

a. his body is sucked into it

b. his mind is taken away

c. his soul goes into the mirror

d. his soulmate comes out of the mirror

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6. What was Simone de Beauvoir most interested in?

a. love at first sight

b. how we can love better

c. how love can decay

d. how love can lead to sadness

7. Beauvoir described love as being "like a..."?

a. great meal

b. great experience

c. great adventure

d. great friendship

5 Writing an interesting conclusion

The video was stopped before the end, with your partner think about the video as a whole and write
four or five sentences to form a conclusion. Afterwards compare your conclusion to the video, what
were the similarities and differences?

....................................................................................................

....................................................................................................

....................................................................................................

....................................................................................................

....................................................................................................

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6 Focus on vocabulary B

Part A: The following words are all taken from the video you watched. Match them to the correct
definition.

1. longing (n) a. experiencing intense pain

2. voluptuous (adj.) b. seriously, greatly

3. sorely (adv.) c. very, plentifully, extremely

4. tormented (adj.) d. making a fire stop burning

5. perpetuating (v) e. giving you physical pleasure

6. quench (v) f. strong desire for something

7. ecstasy (n) g. a state of pain and difficulty

8. abundantly (adv.) h. making a bad situation or belief continue for a long time

9. affliction (n) i. have a strong feeling of wanting something

10. cravings (n) j. a state of extreme happiness

11. extinguishing (v) k. relieve something usually related to something we drink

Part B: Fill in the statements with words from above, decide if you agree or disagree and then share
your view with your partner

1. It is not possible to miss a partner even when they go away

2. It is possible to have feelings of with emotional love.

3. for another person are more common when you are younger.

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7 Speaking- a debate about love

Look at the two statements below, your teacher will tell you which side of the argument you fall on
and give you some time to prepare. Using the vocabulary from today’s lesson, prepare arguments for
your debate. Once you are fully prepared you will be put with another partner to debate the topic.

A: Love is a trick created by nature

B: Nobody has a soulmate, and we should all stop looking

8 Talking Point (Extension task)

In pairs discuss the following questions on the themes brought up in today’s lesson:

1. What was the most surprising thing that you heard in today’s video?
2. What do you think about Schopenhauer’s idea that nature is tricking us into loving each other?
3. Bertrand Russell said that love "helps us overcome our fear of the world"? To what extent do you
agree with that?
4. Beauvoir mentions the idea of love being like a "great friendship", how would you define a great
friendship?
5. After watching the video do you believe that love has a purpose?

9 Synonyms (optional)

Look at the final five paragraphs of the transcript of the video and find synonyms for the following
words.

1. stupidity (n)

2. fills (v)

3. fascinating (adj.)

4. inspiring (v)

5. thrilling (adj.)

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Transcripts

3. Understanding the main idea

Narrator: Ah, romantic love - beautiful and intoxicating, heart-breaking and soul-crushing, often all
at the same time. Why do we choose to put ourselves through its emotional wringer?
Does love make our lives meaningful, or is it an escape from our loneliness and suffering?
Is love a disguise for our sexual desire, or a trick of biology to make us procreate? Is it all
we need? Do we need it at all?

Narrator: If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet. But
over the course of history, some of our most respected philosophers have put forward
some intriguing theories. Love makes us whole, again.

Narrator: The ancient Greek philosopher Plato explored the idea that we love in order to become
complete. In his "Symposium", he wrote about a dinner party, at which Aristophanes, a
comic playwright, regales the guests with the following story: humans were once creatures
with four arms, four legs, and two faces. One day, they angered the gods, and Zeus sliced
them all in two. Since then, every person has been missing half of him or herself. Love
is the longing to find a soulmate who’ll make us feel whole again, or, at least, that’s what
Plato believed a drunken comedian would say at a party.

Narrator: Love tricks us into having babies. Much, much later, German philosopher Arthur
Schopenhauer maintained that love based in sexual desire was a voluptuous illusion. He
suggested that we love because our desires lead us to believe that another person will
make us happy, but we are sorely mistaken. Nature is tricking us into procreating, and
the loving fusion we seek is consummated in our children. When our sexual desires
are satisfied, we are thrown back into our tormented existences, and we succeed only
in maintaining the species and perpetuating the cycle of human drudgery. Sounds like
somebody needs a hug.

Narrator: Love is escape from our loneliness. According to the Nobel Prize-winning British
philosopher Bertrand Russell, we love in order to quench our physical and psychological
desires. Humans are designed to procreate, but without the ecstasy of passionate love, sex
is unsatisfying. Our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells to protect
and isolate ourselves. Love’s delight, intimacy, and warmth helps us overcome our fear of
the world, escape our lonely shells, and engage more abundantly in life. Love enriches our
whole being, making it the best thing in life.

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Narrator: Love is a misleading affliction. Siddhŕartha Gautama, who became known as the Buddha, or
the Enlightened One, probably would have had some interesting arguments with Russell.
Buddha proposed that we love because we are trying to satisfy our base desires. Yet,
our passionate cravings are defects, and attachments, even romantic love, are a great
source of suffering. Luckily, Buddha discovered the eight-fold path, a sort of program
for extinguishing the fires of desire so that we can reach Nirvana, an enlightened state of
peace, clarity, wisdom, and compassion.

Narrator: The novelist Cao Xueqin illustrated this Buddhist sentiment that romantic love is folly in
one of China’s greatest classical novels, "Dream of the Red Chamber." In a subplot, Jia Rui
falls in love with Xi-feng who tricks and humiliates him. Conflicting emotions of love and
hate tear him apart, so a Taoist gives him a magic mirror that can cure him as long as he
doesn’t look at the front of it. But of course, he looks at the front of it. He sees Xi-feng.
His soul enters the mirror, and he is dragged away in iron chains to die.

Narrator: Not all Buddhists think this way about romantic and erotic love, but the moral of this story
is that such attachments spell tragedy, and should, along with magic mirrors, be avoided.

Narrator: Love lets us reach beyond ourselves. Let’s end on a slightly more positive note. The French
philosopher Simone de Beauvoir proposed that love is the desire to integrate with another
and that it infuses our lives with meaning. However, she was less concerned with why
we love and more interested in how we can love better. She saw that the problem with
traditional romantic love is it can be so captivating, that we are tempted to make it our
only reason for being.

Narrator: Yet, dependence on another to justify our existence easily leads to boredom and power
games. To avoid this trap, Beauvoir advised loving authentically, which is more like a
great friendship. Lovers support each other in discovering themselves, reaching beyond
themselves, and enriching their lives and the world together.

Narrator: Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an
emotional rollercoaster ride. It’s scary and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us
soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might be heart-breaking, or it
might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?

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Key

1. Warm up

5 mins.
Let the students know that in today’s lesson they will be watching a video about romantic love and the purpose
of an emotion like this. Concept check the meaning of each question, monitor and perform content feedback.

2. Focus on vocabulary A

Part A
5 mins.
Ask students to complete the gaps in the definitions with the appropriate vocabulary, taken from the video.
Students should work by themselves first and then compare with a classmate before all class feedback. Ensure
students are correctly pronouncing the target vocabulary.

1. difficult or unpleasant
2. your appearance
3. strong wish
4. produce children
5. unusual

Part B
5 mins.
Ask students to fill in the gaps with the words from Part A, monitor and provide support where needed. If students
are struggling, then provide them with another example of the target language in context. Let the students know
that a different form of the word might be more appropriate in some examples.
You may wish to clarify the following:
to go through the (emotional) wringer (idiom)- to go through an experience that is unpleasant and difficult

1. intriguing
2. desire
3. emotional wringer
4. disguise
5. procreate

Part C
5 mins.
Provide the students with a chance to personalise the vocabulary, remind them that if they personalise new
vocabulary they are likely to remember it for longer. Monitor for mistakes with accuracy and provide delayed
error correction after the speaking task is completed.

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3. Understanding the main idea

5 mins.
Ask students to watch the first 46 seconds of the video and answer the true or false questions. They should then
compare their answers with a partner and review as a class.

1. False. "...beautiful and intoxicating..."

2. True. "Does love make our lives meaningful..."
3. False. "If romantic love has a purpose, neither science nor psychology has discovered it yet..."
4. True. "...some of our most respected philosophers have put forward some intriguing theories..."

4. Listening comprehension

10 mins.
Ask students to watch the rest of the video and answer the questions. You may want them to read the questions
first and have the students predict their answers.

1. b. 2. b. 3. c. 4. a. 5. c. 6. b. 7. d.

5. Writing an interesting conclusion

5 mins.
Ask students to write a conclusion for the video and then compare it with the actual conclusion. Highlight any
differences and talk about the author’s use of extreme adjectives, rhetorical questions, idioms etc. to make the
conclusion more enticing for the listener
Answer:
Though we might never know why we fall in love, we can be certain that it will be an emotional rollercoaster ride. It’s
scary and exhilarating. It makes us suffer and makes us soar. Maybe we lose ourselves. Maybe we find ourselves. It might
be heart-breaking, or it might just be the best thing in life. Will you dare to find out?

6. Focus on vocabulary B

10 mins.
Part A
Ask students to match the vocabulary to the definitions and fill the gaps. All the words come from the video. Ask
the students to then complete the statements and talk about whether they agree or disagree with the statement.

1. → i. 2. → e. 3. → b. 4. → a.
5. → h. 6. → k. 7. → j. 8. → c.
9. → g. 10. → f. 11. → d.

Part B

1. sorely 2. ecstasy 3. Cravings

7. Speaking- a debate about love

10 mins.
Students work alone to prepare their arguments for a debate about love. Tell the students which side of the
argument they fall on and then give them a particular amount of time to prepare.

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Put the students together to debate the topic and then provide delayed error correction.

8. Talking Point (Extension task)

10 mins.
Ask students to discuss the questions. Monitor and provide on-the-spot feedback and help as needed.

9. Synonyms (optional)

5 mins.
To improve the students’ range of vocabulary, ask them to quickly scan the text looking for the following synonyms.

1. folly 2. infuses 3. captivating 4. enriching 5. exhilarating

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