Listening Skills PDF

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU
Listening Skills
What do you mean by Listening?
• Listening is an art, a skill, a discipline and like other
skills, it needs self- control
• Hearing becomes listening only when you pay
attention to what is said and follow it very closely
• Effective listening gives perspective and maintains
harmony in relationships

Listening Skills
The most basic and powerful way to connect to
another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the
most important thing we ever give each other is our
attention.
Dr. Rachel Naomi Remen

Objectives of Listening
• To comprehend
• Listen and infer meaning
• React
• Identify Sounds
• E.g.
An anecdote of Dog
Activity-Identify the speaker…
The voice and tone association
Turn around backwards and

participants from within the class
will be asked to say few
words/sentences. The class will
have to identify the name of the
speaker based on his/her voice,
tone etc

Signs of a Good Listener:
• Maintain eye contact with the speaker
• Focus on content, not delivery
• Avoid emotional involvement
• Avoid Distractions
• Treat listening as a challenging mental task
• Stay active by asking mental questions
• Use the gap between the rate of speech and your
rate of thought
Listen to the video and take
notes
 Observe the speaking skills of Harsha
Bhogale
 Read out key words and discuss

How to Improve Listening Skills:

Activity:
In this game, you start a story with a beginning phrase,
and then each child in the classroom adds words to
the story in turn. Students must be active participants
and follow the story closely so that when their time
comes to add a meaningful sentence, the story will
make sense.

How to build Peaceful
Communication through
Listening:
• The process depends on whether the listener understands you
• Communication need to be in sync. For example, you cannot
be looking at your phone while someone is talking to you
• The code used to send a message can be either verbal or non-
verbal

How to build Peaceful Communication
through Listening (Contd..):
• When the other person receives the coded message, they go through
the process of decoding or interpreting it into understanding and
meaning
• Effective Communication exists between two people when the receiver
interprets and understands the sender’s message in the same way the
sender intended it

Introspecting the type of listener:
Finding the right kind of listener has following outcomes:
• Good Awareness – a ladder towards growth

• Eliminating the fear of confrontation
• An honest exchange of ideas
Different kinds of listeners:

• Distracted Listener
• Engrossed Listener
• The Interrupters
• The Dead Pan Face Listener
• The Conflict Seekers
• The Self-Proclaimed Mentors

Different kinds of listeners:
Distracted Listener:
• Short Attention Span
• Wandering Mind
• Tough time focusing on the conversation details
• Need to convince about importance of undivided
attention

Different kinds of listeners (Contd..):
Engrossed Listener:
• Absolutely generous with their attention
• Eager to listen, absorb, learn and help
• Quotient of Empathy is high
• Fruitful engagement in conversation acts as a fuel
to your ideas
• Worthy of gratitude and appreciation

The Interrupters:
• Listen primarily to quickly give out their views.
• Habitual interrupting on a regular basis becomes
a habit, then it must be checked and rectified
instantly.
• Being conscious of your habit improves the
quality of the conversation.

The dead pan face kind of a listener:

• Talking to such a listener is like talking to a wall,
no facial reaction
• Tough time in showing connection with the talker
• Challenge for the conversationalist in finding
what mentally stimulates this kind of listener and
keeping them interested with a lot of questions
• Need to give clarity about why they are the
chosen ones for the conversation.

The Conflict Seekers:

• These kind of listeners are always ready with a
sword
• Eagerly waiting to lash out
• Habituated to arguing for the heck of it
• Need for the talker to maintain a patient
composure while talking to such listeners and
not get too affected
• Have healthy arguments rather than playing
‘blame games’ or ‘mudslinging wars’
The self-proclaimed mentors:
• These kind of listeners shower people with
unsolicited advice and suggestions on how to go
about life.
• They assume that everyone is in need of dire help
• Listeners must be made to understand that not
everyone is looking for a solution, some people
just want to be heard.

Modes of listening:
• Competitive or Combative Listening:

• Interested in promoting our own point of
view
• Passive or Attentive Listening:
• Hearing + Understanding
• Active or Reflective Listening:
• Understanding: Thinking, Feeling,
Wanting
• Meaning: Checking understanding
before responding
Active listening:
• Avoid or Minimize Conflict

• Increases confidence in promoting due to correct
understanding
• Need to be heard - person is willing to consider
an alternative
• Person X will listen to Y’s position if person Y was
listening

Active listening (Contd..):
• Spotting flaws in reasoning when its played back
without criticism
• Helps identify areas of agreement
• Disagreement are put in perspective and are
diminished
• Reflection helps us become aware of the different
levels that are going on below the surface
• Bring things into the open where they can be
more readily resolved

Speaker’s Difficulties:
• Voice volume
• Message too complex-unnecessary details or too
many issues
• Getting lost, forgetting your point or the purpose
of the interaction
• Body Language or nonverbal elements
contradicting or interfering with the verbal
message
• Paying too much attention to how the other
person is taking the message
Listener’s Difficulties:
• Preoccupied and not listening
• Being so interested in what you have to say that
you listen mainly to find an opening to get the floor
• Formulating and listening to your own rebuttal to
what the speaker is saying
• Listening to your own personal beliefs about what is
being said
• Evaluating and making judgements about the
speaker or the message
• Not asking for clarification when you know that you
do not understand
Listen to the song by Maher and
try to comprehend the central
theme

 "One Big Family"
 It doesn't matter if you live far
 I wonder why you and me fight each away from me
other You feel I feel, you bleed I bleed,
Don't you see the similarities you cry and I cry
We sleep and dream
between us? Sometimes we're sad, sometimes
Take a minute and see yourself in we're happy
the mirror You breathe I breathe
You look like me: those eyes, lips - We love, walk, talk and we smile
you can't deny Have you thought about
Why we look the same?
Have you thought about Why we feel the same?
Why we look the same? Don't tell me it's by chance
Why we feel the same?
Oh, ….
Don't tell me it's by chance
I care about you
Oh, you're my brother And I wish you could realise
You're my sister There's no difference between us
two
We're one big family We're part of one family
Oh, you're my brother No matter how far you are
You're my sister And even if we don’t know each
Just one big family other
Oh, you and me, me
and you, we are one
Listening Tips:
• No Parroting
• Account of the Facts
• Thoughts and Beliefs
• Feelings and Emotions
• Wants, Needs or Motivation
• Hopes and Expectations
• Paraphrase and use your own words in
verbalizing your understanding of the message

Listening Tips (Contd..):
• Inhibit your impulse to immediately answer

questions
• The code may be in the form of a question
• Sometimes people ask questions when they
really want to express themselves and are not
open to hearing an answer
• Use eye contact and listen body language

The 12 Roadblocks to Communication:
• Making them stop talking
• Making them defensive
• Making them argue, counterattack
• Making them feel inadequate, inferior
• Making them resentful, angry
• Making them feel guilty or bad
• Making them feel unaccepted as they are

The 12 Roadblocks to
Communication (Contd..):
• Making them feel they are not trusted to solve
their own problems
• Making them feel they are not understood
• Making them feel their feelings are not justified
• Making them feel interrupted, cutoff
• Making them feel frustrated

Empathy:
“ Could a greater miracle take place
than for us to look through each
others eyes for an instant?”
…Henry David Thoreau

Empathy

Stephen Covey_Habit 5:
Seek First to Understand, then to be
Understood
• Seeking to understand necessitates consideration,
whereas, seeking to be understood necessitates
courage.
• When consideration and courage are perfectly
balanced, maturity evolves.
• Both the parameters, consideration and courage have
a pivotal role to play in Win-win situations.
• So, in interdependent situations it becomes
important for us to be understood.
Stephen Covey_Habit 5:
Seek First to Understand, then to be
Understood

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Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

• Listen and infer meaning

Turn around backwards and

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

• Focus on content, not delivery

• Avoid emotional involvement

• Treat listening as a challenging mental task

• Stay active by asking mental questions

• Use the gap between the rate of speech and your

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

In this game, you start a story with a beginning phrase,

and then each child in the classroom adds words to

the story in turn. Students must be active participants

and follow the story closely so that when their time

comes to add a meaningful sentence, the story will

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

• Communication need to be in sync. For example, you cannot

be looking at your phone while someone is talking to you

• The code used to send a message can be either verbal or non-

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

the process of decoding or interpreting it into understanding and

• Effective Communication exists between two people when the receiver

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

Finding the right kind of listener has following outcomes:

• Good Awareness – a ladder towards growth

Different kinds of listeners:

• The Self-Proclaimed Mentors

• Short Attention Span

• Tough time focusing on the conversation details

• Need to convince about importance of undivided

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

• Absolutely generous with their attention

• Eager to listen, absorb, learn and help

• Quotient of Empathy is high

• Fruitful engagement in conversation acts as a fuel

• Worthy of gratitude and appreciation

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

• Listen primarily to quickly give out their views.

• Habitual interrupting on a regular basis becomes

a habit, then it must be checked and rectified

• Being conscious of your habit improves the

quality of the conversation.

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

The dead pan face kind of a listener:

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

The Conflict Seekers:

The self-proclaimed mentors:

• These kind of listeners shower people with

unsolicited advice and suggestions on how to go

• They assume that everyone is in need of dire help

• Listeners must be made to understand that not

everyone is looking for a solution, some people

just want to be heard.

• Competitive or Combative Listening:

• Avoid or Minimize Conflict

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU

Center for Peace Studies MIT-WPU