CHANGE YOUR LIFE

IN 30 DAYS
Author: Rhonda Britten
Publisher: Dutton Penguin Press USA Inc.
Date of Publication: 2004
ISBN : 0-525-94789-2
No. of Pages: 272 pages

About the Author Wisdom in a Nutshell

A guide to your journey of transformation, Change Your Life in 30 Days
revolves around the principles. The underlying principle behind change is
that for change to happen, a person has to be true to himself. The second
principle which the author emphasizes is that a person should break the cycle
of fear that holds the person back for change to take place. In this book, she
Rhonda Britten outlines the steps to making those changes one day at a time. For people who
Rhonda Britten is a Life Coach on the want to make some major changes in their lives or who want to start over,
NBC daytime TV show, "Starting Over." each day is a journey that takes the reader through several questions to
As the founder of the Fearless Living
Institute, she is considered the global answer, create intention statements, define life goals and outline the steps
expert on mastering emotional fears as needed to reach those goals. Within 30 days, a person can create a new fresh
well as the author of Fearless Loving: 8
Simple Truths that will Change the Way
start in life.
You Date, Mate and Relate and
Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses
and Love Without Regret (translated
into 12 languages) where she shares
her groundbreaking model of fear. She
has her own PBS Special, appears
frequently on Montel Williams and has
been profiled internationally in
magazines such as, "Shape UK,"
"Marie Claire AU," and "First for Women
US" and in newspapers like the
"London Sunday Times" and on radio
worldwide. In the United Kingdom,
Rhonda is the Life Doctor on "Help Me
Rhonda," a reality-based TV show that
transforms people’s lives in 30 days.
With two different television shows on
two different continents plus her
nationally viewed PBS Special, Rhonda
has proven that she can take the
mystery out of any challenge for millions
of people and is now revolutionizing the
way the world views fear.

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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten

Day 1: A New Beginning believe.

· Being specific with an answer accelerates
Your journey to change starts here. This path growth.
involves knowing that life's dreams can be fulfilled. · Wanting a better life is really a desire to be
Whether your dream is tangible or not, you can see more true to yourself.
them all unfold by being true to yourself. · Telling the truth is an important part of
discovering who you are.
How do you then know that you are being true to
yourself? Answering yes to the following questions
simply reflects that your main thrust is to be true to
yourself:
· Are you willing to put personal integrity
Day 2: Give Credit Where Credit is Due
above a promise to another? Acknowledge yourself and give credit for what you
· Are you willing to listen to your heart while have done in the past. This technique will help you
using your head? build your confidence level. To do this, you must know
· Are you willing to quit lying to yourself in how to filter the every information properly. The
order to start loving yourself? information that you receive and feed your mind can
· Are you willing to be authentic even if it determine or affect your feelings, thoughts and
means being vulnerable? behaviors.
· Are you willing to invest in the life you have to
get the life you want? Some of the common filters people use to deal with
information are:
· “Rhonda doesn't know me” is a filter that really
says “no one really knows the real me.” A
person with this kind of filter finds intimacy
and trust in people too difficult to gain.
The first step to change is defining · “I haven't done enough” is a filter used by
people who are perfectionists in nature.
the change you want in your life. These kinds of people are workaholics and
have little or no time to take care of
themselves.
· “Thank God somebody finally understands
me” is a filter for people who are afraid of not
Define the success that you desire and the being seen and seek validation in other
transformation that you wish to achieve. Answer the people.
following questions as honestly as possible. Your · “I wish” is a filter similar to “I know me better
answers will determine your commitment to your than you do” wherein you find it difficult to take
journey to change: credit.
· How would being true to yourself change · “If I'm doing better than I think I am, why don't I
your life? feel better?” relies mostly on feelings and not
· If you are true to yourself, what are you afraid on logic.
might happen? · “I am!” is a filter for people who doubt
· What has stopped you before from themselves a lot and question compliments
becoming the best you possible? from people.
· Describe the you that you would like to be in · People who say “Thank you” when given a
30 days. compliment have high self-esteem and are
· What is one thing that you are willing to do gracious regardless of what compliment is
today to be more true to yourself? given.
· “Don't tell me that! I won't stay motivated” is
Set the right pace of your journey. Remember the for people who try to fix themselves but beat
following points to throughout this 30-day process of themselves in the process. Negative thoughts
change. occupy their minds; suffering and struggling
· Defining a word helps to clarify what you are familiar feelings.

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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten

· “You bet I am. I've worked hard” is for To undergo change successfully, you must first be
people with a healthy dose of self- able to define your purpose and passion in life. Day 4
confidence and give one's self credit where focuses on the discovery of these things.
it is due.
Purpose defines the reason for your existence and
Identifying which filter you use can save you from passion is what ignites, drives and motivates you to
the pitfalls in making changes. To build up do your purpose. Purpose and passion direct your life
confidence, simply acknowledge and accept some and help you achieve happiness, completeness and
of the things that you have done in the past. genuine success. These can help you achieve your
goals and do things far beyond your imagination.
Acknowledge yourself for the accomplishments you
have done at least 50 times. This can help in Remember the following points to integrate purpose
changing how you view yourself, thus increasing and passion in your life:
your confidence. Writing your accomplishments is · Your purpose is already within you.
important. This is one act of being true to yourself. · Passion gives you the desire to succeed.
· Passion without purpose can be perceived
as being unfocused and confused.
· Purpose without passion can make life feel
Day 3: Building Your Confidence Muscle like a chore.
As an extension of Day 2, Day 3 focuses on
confidence building. This activity involves recalling
and writing down the times or situations when you
feel most confident and not confident about yourself. Day 5:Affirmations, Intentions and Goals
These moments can serve as stepping-stones in
Day 5 shows how you can use affirmations as
doing things differently the next time.
powerful tools in introducing changes in your life.
Affirmations combined with intentions and goals can
How do you know if your confidence is growing?
produce powerful results.
Here are the five clues:
· You can count on yourself. You do what you Affirmations and intentions are positive, powerful
say and you get the job done. statements that can cause miracles and can make
· You are willing to feel your feelings and take your dreams come true. Think of the things that you
a risk anyway. No matter how scary things want to achieve in life, write them down and start
get, you always remember that feelings do claiming that you have achieved them.
not determine success, risk does!
· Facing your fears is a daily experience. See
fear for what it is: an affirmation of your
growth.
· You have learned to be comfortable in the
Day 6: Stretch, Risk or Die
uncomfortableness of change. You put your Stretch, Risk, and Die signify the three levels of your
negative voice in perspective and realize it fear. With comfort zone being the most ideal state,
does not run your life. your actions motivated by fear move significantly
· You are willing to give up all you know to from stretch (something you do that is associated with
discover your true you. You have given up your “lowest level of fear”), to risk (something that
justifying your actions; instead, your life requires courage to carry out), and then eventually to
speaks for itself. Your main commitment is die (something that you do that is so scary, you
to keep growing, and therefore you have let wanted to die).
go of your need to always be right.
Completing the process is the beginning of change.
You have faced your fears and taken the big risk.
Your old confining negative thoughts and behaviors
Day 4: Purpose and Passion are now overcome. A part of you has died. You are
already experiencing change.

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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten

have accomplished. Shining or giving or receiving

compliments helps boost self-esteem. Knowing when
to shine or to give shining compliments is a choice
Day 7:Are You Making It Up or Is It True? that you can make.
Face the truth. This is one important prerequisite to
being true to yourself. Instead of blaming or making Instead of waiting for others to compliment you, you
up excuses, examine the whole truth in the events of should take action by sharing the good news with
your lives. others. Good news can be an accomplishment or a
success story that serves as a pat on the back that
The following are questions that can help you stick can help you rise. Shining moments can be
with the truth: empowering. It greatly helps you gain self-
· Are you making it up or is it true? It keeps confidence.
you honest and open with others.
· When you make things up, you are afraid to
become vulnerable and therefore intimate.
· See the situation “as is,” take your Day 10: Integration
perceptions out and focus on the facts. Day 10 is the time to gel together and examine the
· Facing what and when you make things up insights and lessons you have learned since Day 1.
will help you to heal. Integrating all the past day exercises can help you
gauge whether changes have already been made.
Rate yourself honestly and get a clear picture on
where you stand. This letter can help you accept your
accomplishments regardless of the results.

An important and wonderful

exerciseis writing yourself Day 11: Regrets
This day is the time to examine your core needs-- an
a letter of gratitude. expanded and more personal version of Maslow's
Hierarchy of Needs. By doing so, you can identify
what you really need in order to be fulfilled, happy and
satisfied with life.
Day 8: The Freedom of Discipline
By examining these needs, regrets from the past can
Start practicing disciplined freedom on Day 8-- be put to rest. You can then move forward in your
working in a disciplined manner and taking journey to change. By identifying at least five of your
responsibility for one's work. While both words core needs, the healing process can start and past
(freedom and discipline) have different meanings, issues can be put to rest.
both can be used in life as means of being true and
sticking to the truth.

Examples are taking on projects that you can

realistically finish on time, or responsibly working on Day 12:Ask For What You Want
something that you enjoy. Enjoying work in Knowing what you want by separating feelings and
disciplined manner helps you succeed in life. thoughts is one way of introducing change in your life.
Understand your fears and the things that hold you
back, this can help you ask the world for what you
want.
Day 9: Shine Your Light
Asking for what you want involves riska risk you have
Shining one's light actually is a form of to take as this is a part of the process. Get what you
acknowledgment for the wonderful things that you want by confronting your fears and emotions and by

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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten

defining what you really want. important before you learn to truly trust others.

Day 16: The Myth of Balance

The Myth of Balance is the belief that you can have it
Hurt is a powerful burden that all. Striving for this is stressful. We all live in an
information age where we are bombarded daily with
a person can carry throughout life. different information wanting attention. Jobs are
becoming stressful simply because of information
overload. What makes the demanding things around
us stressful is that you only 24 hours a day to live
through them. Wanting to have all in this too
complex world can really cause stress in your life.
Day 13: The Power of Words
In Day 16, start knowing what matters most and start
Words are powerful. These can empower or making commitments. This may be a relationship, a
disempower you. Using disempowering words can job, a hobby or simply finding one's self. Just focus on
get you stuck in a cycle of negativism. You are truly knowing what you value the most. Through this, you
what you think. When you say “it's hard”, life or any can create balance in your life. Start creating a life log.
activity becomes really hard. This can help you know when to start and track your
commitments.
By identifying phrases or words that can be
disempowering, and by being careful with them, you
can move fluidly towards a happier and better life.
The key is to identify and remove negative words
and phrases. Replacing them with positive thoughts Day 17: Excuses
and words instead. Excuses can tie you down, keep you where you are,
and justify the wrong things that you have done.
Exercise releasing excuses. Write down the top
three excuses that you always make. By
Day 14: Liar, Liar acknowledging them and eventually removing them,
you can start moving on and making changes in your
Don't lie, or to the very least, avoid it. Change the life.
habit of lying in situations. Flush out all that is untrue
and focus yourself only on the truth. Telling the truth This exercise is also a way of becoming truer to one's
can open the doors for being a better you. self. By giving up excuses and instead moving on to
be a positive person, change can happen
Practice today as a No Lie Zone. Free yourself from tremendously as it releases the burden of excuses.
lying for the next twenty-four hours and feel the
benefits of keeping your integrity intact. Try your
best to be true to yourself and to others.
Day 18: Intuition
Intuition is an important gift that you can use to make
Day 15: Trusting Heart judgement calls. While there is no scientific
explanation for how intuition works, it is generally
Trust is an important element in change. It is believed that intuition can guide your life.
essential to learn how to trust yourself in the things
that you do. Also, learn how to trust other people The basis is faith in oneself. The difference between
specially those closest to your heart. Without trust, fear and intuition is that an inner voice can tell you, in
peace of mind is not possible. You will always doubt a calm manner, to go on with the decision. Listening to
yourself or others. Trust yourself first; this is your intuition can make you feel empowered, secure,

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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten

and enlightened. Fear, on the other hand, holds you blaming things on luck, fate or destiny. The
back because of past failures and risks. Listening to differences among the three is that with luck a person
intuition when making decisions is a good habit to is just waiting for things to happen; with fate things
practice, this can bring change in the process. happens to a person; and with destiny a person is
already preordained in life. By defining life's purpose
and knowing what you can and cannot control,
changes can happen.
Day 19: Forgiveness
Be willing to forgive and let go in order to free
yourself of this burden. Identify the hurts you faced Day 22: The Gift of Rejection
in the past and know its source. Take the first step to
forgive. Whether it's forgiving one's self or others, Learning how to accept rejections is an important
what is important is you let go of the burden. factor in the change process. Rejection keeps you
frozen with fear and humiliation thus causing you to
be stagnant; not growing, not moving forward. Learn
how to accept rejections. Overcome and conquer the
fear accompanied by it.

Embracing beauty is a part

of making a person’s life beautiful. Day 23: For orAgainst
For or against are mindsets that people use as filters
in seeing how the world behaves-- “for you” or
“against you”. To overcome these two mindsets,
learn how to be grateful for every situation you are in
and every circumstance you encounter. Being
Day 20: Momentum grateful is the first step in doing away with a negative,
jaded outlook. It helps you focus on a better
Day 20 is another milestone that you have to take perspective and on making living each of your days
time to examine. Use the lessons learned or better.
changes that happened during the past 20 Days as
reality check.

Taking time to answer some questions will reveal

whether changes have already occurred in your life.
Day 24: What’s Love Got To Do With It?
Don't lose momentum for the past 20 days of this Loving one's self is an important step in introducing
process. Keep on going and practice the lessons change in one's self. Loving is important because it
you have learned so far. Integrate these lessons gives a person self-worth. Loving another person is
into habits and start how dramatically your life will impossible if you do not know how to love yourself.
change. How will you be able to love others if you do not even
know how it is to love yourself?

The following are some ways on how to love yourself

Day 21: Luck, Fate and Destiny selflessly:
· Say no and mean it.
When bad or good things happen to people, they · Forgive yourself.
usually blame it on luck, fate or destiny. However, by · Ask for help.
taking a proactive approach in life, people can really · Pray.
make changes just by identifying things that they
· Get a pedicure.
can control and can't control.
· Go our dancing.
Day 21 helps you to be realistic instead of just · Plan a vacation.

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 CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN 30 DAYS By Rhonda Britten

· List your assets. days. Observe the ritual of honoring yourself through
· Pay your bills. growth at this stage. Do this by writing down 5
· Drink water. acknowledgements for shifts and changes in life.

Day 25: Forget Motivation Day 28: Beautiful You

Put behind motivation-- a short-term solution in Embracing beauty is a part of making a person's life
making people take action. Focus on contentment beautiful. Britten offers three simple exercises that
instead. Motivation happens when a person faces you can use to introduce beauty in your life: smiling,
fear of losing or being branded as a loser causing a reading the daily newspaper and asking questions.
person to work more, putting more pressure in his
life. Beauty does not have to only be physical. It should
go deeper. Practicing excellence helps you create
Contentment however is the opposite. Apart from beauty in life by being passionate. Take time each day
general knowledge, change can still happen even in to identify beautiful moments. This is a good exercise
the middle of contentment. A contented person is in reminding yourself of the importance of beauty.
confident about undergoing change and doesn't feel
pressured by it. Internal satisfaction is important to
be true to yourself.
Day 29: Heaven
Day 29 is another milestone for you. This is the day
when you have already transformed, changed, better.
Day 26: Never ConfrontAgain This day is simply “heaven”.
Day 26 focuses on clarifying issues when dealing
with situations involving people. The underlying However, to fully become a changed person, you
principle is that no two people are alike. need to complete the final exercise: writing a
Misunderstanding happens and confrontations commitment letter. This is a tool for affirming the
occur when they do not meet halfway.. changes you have undergone during the past 29
days.
By clarifying issues before going out of hand, you
can avoid confrontations and accomplish what This second to the last step serves as a stepping-
needs to be done instead. Rejections too can be stone for refining the rest of your life. Reviewing your
avoided painlessly. Clarify the issues that you avoid commitment letter every year will help you put life in
in life. This will not only bring change in life but in love perspective, as change is a continuous process.
as well.

Day 30: Let Me Introduce You To Yourself

Day 27: Redefining You The last day summarizes the past 29 days that you
This is the time of self-seeking. Ask yourself if there have undergone. This is the time to review what has
have been any significant changes that have happened in the past 29 days through a set of guide
transpired in your life. This is the point when questions.
changes would already have occurred.

Three areas are very important at this point: home,

relationships and love. These are the three key
anchors in life should already have been affected by
the changes you have undergone for the past 27
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