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Couples

The document discusses the history and current state of marriage and divorce, factors that contribute to relationship satisfaction and distress, and goals and techniques for couples therapy. It notes that while couples therapy can help some partners improve communication and conflict resolution skills, compatibility of interaction styles and good will between partners may be more predictive of relationship success than specific communication behaviors. The ultimate goal of therapy is to help couples build a foundation of trust, affection, and ability to resolve disagreements respectfully.

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arjun2014
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321 views9 pages

Couples

The document discusses the history and current state of marriage and divorce, factors that contribute to relationship satisfaction and distress, and goals and techniques for couples therapy. It notes that while couples therapy can help some partners improve communication and conflict resolution skills, compatibility of interaction styles and good will between partners may be more predictive of relationship success than specific communication behaviors. The ultimate goal of therapy is to help couples build a foundation of trust, affection, and ability to resolve disagreements respectfully.

Uploaded by

arjun2014
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as PPT, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Couples Therapy

The relationship as the client


Post WW-II history of marriage

 Economics
 Shift in type of work due to industrialization
 Necessity of dual incomes

 Technology
 Industrialization
 Transportation
 Birth control

 Social Norms (next slide)


The change in social norms

 Shift from external, role-oriented criteria (e.g., good worker,


provider, mother, wife) to internal criteria of personal satisfaction.

 Studies of changing themes in popular magazine articles about


marriage since the '50s document increased emphasis on self-
development, flexible and negotiable roles, and open
communication about problems. Surveys show similarly dramatic
changes in criteria for "marital satisfaction".

 These changes reflect increases in individualism and our


standard of living, as well as improved contraceptive methods
and greater availability of abortions.

 Could you conceive of staying in a marriage unless you're happy?


Current statistics

 The American divorce rate has increased dramatically


since the mid 19th century (peak in early '80s).
 Between 50-67% of first marriages end in divorce -- and
the failure rate for second marriages is 10% higher.
Median duration is 7.2 years.
 More marriages now end in divorce than death (true since
1974).
 Couple therapy is a growing industry: From 1,000 licensed
marital therapists in 1972 to over 50,000 today.
 Barely half of couples report significant improvement from
therapy (compared to over 75% in individual therapy) --
and a third of those who improve have problems later on
(Bray & Jouriles).
Characteristics of “happy” couples
Tolstoy’s adage:
“All happy families are alike, but
unhappy marriages are unhappy
in their own way.”

 Characteristics (John Gottman)


 foundation of affection and friendship
 "validation sequences“
 ability to resolve disagreements
 “positive sentiment override”
 a 5 to 1(or better) compliment-criticism ratio is optimal

 as the ratio decreases, marriage satisfaction decreases

 Amount of conflict relatively unimportant (all relationships have conflict)


Distressed couples (Gottman cont.)
 Engage in a wide range of
destructive fighting techniques
 Personal attacks (name calling)
 Dredging up the past
 Losing focus (…and the “kitchen sink”)

 Tend to resort to the "four


horsemen of the apocalypse“
 Criticism (more common in women)
 Defensiveness
 Withdrawal (more common in men)
 Contempt
Couples’ interaction styles (Gottman cont.)

 Three ways of understanding couples’ interaction styles:


 Validating (optimal)
 the 5 to 1 ratio (optimal)
 respect partner's opinions and emotions
 compromise often
 resolve problems to mutual satisfaction

 Volatile
 arguments, conflict may or may not be resolved
 Vacillate between heated arguments and passionate
reconciliation

 Avoiding – do not deal with problems at all (agree to


disagree)

 Compatibility of interaction styles sometimes more


predictive of relationship success than the style itself
Goals of therapy
 The most-studied form of couple therapy -- Behavioral Marital Therapy
 Help partners negotiate behavior change
 Teach more effective communication skills (e.g., active listening, how to argue)

 Gottman (microskills)
 Avoid the 4 horsemen and other forms of destructive fighting
 Focus on and encourage “positive sentiment override”

 Latest research findings


 Improving "communication skills" may not be the key to resolving many couple
problems (Baucom; Burleson & Denton).
 Good will between partners may be more important than good
communication skills
 Good language and communication skills can even make bad marriages
worse (e.g., keeps problem salient)

 Several promising new approaches


 Acceptance therapy (focus on interrupting partners' attempts to change each
other)
 Solution-focused therapy (intervention aims to identify exceptions to the problem
and reinforce strengths in the couple's relationship)
Therapeutic techniques

 Maintain balanced approach (don’t show favoritism)

 Have members of the couple talk to each other, not


the therapist

 Anticipate backsliding (habits are hard to change)

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