The sounds of struggle and desperate, pain struck pleas rang out like a chorus in Donatello’s mind. Your name was formed from his lips but no sound came from his desperate attempt to shout for you. In the distance he lay witness to the Foot unrelentingly beat down upon your already broken body, and as hard as he tried to dash towards you, it only seemed like he could move backwards. It felt like there was a vice around Donnie’s heart as he listened to your shrill cries and screams, watching and unable to look away from the blood that came splattering from your fresh wounds.
In one last ditch effort, the purple clad turtle leapt from the ground, hoping that removing his feet the blackened earth would somehow get him unstuck from his trapped point. His arms were out stretched and everything seemed to slow down as he watched in utter terror as three sharp claws came ripping through your chest. Just as he felt his heart plummet within himself, Donnie felt some strange force yank him back through the air, his petrified eyes watching your limp form, his enemies, and your small apartment shrink into darkness.
~
Donnie jolted from his desk, sweat clinging to his forehead and askew glasses wet from tears. Frantically standing straight, he grabbed hold of his metal staff and looked about with a rapidly beating heart. The clicks, beeps, and whirs of the lab brought Donnie back to his senses, and with a shaky sigh he leaned back into his chair with some sense of calm.
It was just a dream. A terrible one, but still a dream nonetheless. He removed his fogged glasses, staring at nothing with a racing mind. Donnie hated how real the dream felt. He was beyond thankful it hadn’t gotten to that point, but thinking back to the night that spurred you both to take the next step in your relationship, still sent a shiver up his spine. Had he not walked you home that night, who knows if things would have played out like his subconsciousness dreaded.
A soft knock had Donnie nearly jump from his scaled skin once more, but relief washed over him at seeing you in the door way, alive and intact.
“Donnie, I thought you said you’d be in bed.”, you worriedly mentioned, but accepting his open arms regardless as his much taller form came forward to embrace you.
Donnie held you tightly, taking delight in the calmness your lovely smelling shampoo brought him.
“Sorry. I just have a few more things to tweak and then I’ll be done.”, he exhaustingly apologized.
A small, frustrated sigh left your equally tired lips, pulling back to look up into those hazel eyes you’d forever have memorized.
“Don, you said that same sentence hours ago. Go to bed. Please.”
As heavenly as the comfort of his soft bed sounded right now, Donnie couldn’t allow himself to. He had to finish this project. A new device to help keep you safe. If he didn’t, than he felt as though he’d be ensuring his nightmares to become reality, despite his logical sense telling him how truly impossible that was. He wasn’t much for fate, but why tempt it when things like this came to you. Besides, it wouldn’t be the first time he hasn’t slept. Before you, he’d go days and even a whole week once running on nothing but caffeine and pop tarts.
The lean terrapin shook his head, tails of his mask lightly flailing as he’d gently released you to return to his desk. Already, he missed your warmth.
“N-no. I can’t. I really have to finish this.”
A small pit started to form at the bottom of your stomach as you watched him stumble back towards his work area. You knew what he was working on, and knew that if you didn’t do something, this would be the eighth failed project he’s put all his energy and willpower into to “keep you safe” as he’d put it. At this rate though, the brainiac ninja would work himself into the grave, and you figured it was high time to step in and save him for once.
Donnie stiffly reached for his abandoned glasses, when out of nowhere small hands snatched them from their perch upon some random notebooks. The ninja turtles head whipped around to watch you shove them into your shirt, a defiant look on your face as he audibly groaned.
“(Y,n) please, give them back.”, he lightly demanded, trying to not let his mind wonder to his homemade prescriptions current imprisonment.
You shook your head, holding up a single digit.
“On one occasion. I’ll give them back, but only if you come to bed!”
Donatello eyed you, weighing this proposal. You had that determined glint to your lovely (e,c) eyes, and he knew there really wasn’t much of a choice. You could be hard headed just like his red banded brother, sometimes even more so. Knowing this, Donnie decided to agree, but once you’d eventually fall asleep, he’d grab his glasses and sneak off back to the lab. Would you be mad when you wake up? Most likely, but he was doing this for you.
So said turtle gave a defeated exhale of agreement and felt his heart skip a beat at the adorable, triumphant smile that you held. It didn’t take long to reach your newly established room, it being rather close to his and the lab, and just as quickly as you’d both arrived, you were both situated under the warmth of an extra large comforter.
You both lay there in silence, the brown noise of the enclosed portion of the lair filling in. That and paired with the soft glow of your glowing star stickers decorated across the walls, you’d hoped it would help ease your beloveds mind. Yet, when you peaked an eye open to catch the ninja turtle eyeing his glasses you placed on the nearby nightstand when you arrived, you sorrowfully frowned.
“Hey…”
Donnie’s gaze flickered to you as you propped yourself up on an elbow to gaze down at his tinted face.
“If you really can’t sleep, than at least tell me what’s going on in here.”
You reached out to gently tap his forehead, before softly caressing his pebbled cheek. The feeling of your thumb rubbing soothingly just beneath his eye, and the warmth of your palm against his cheek made Donnie’s heart lightly swell, but did little to quell his troubled mind. Was it that obvious? He’d thought he had been so good at concealing the lasting fear these past events had caused him. Normally if he’d burry himself in his work, his brothers would pay him no mind, even if they knew something was up they’d leave him be to get through it. He should have figured you’d be different though. You were always there for him, always seeking him out and making him feel like something more than a shadow in the corner, tinkering away at something so few would ever understand. He wanted to be there for you as well, just as you were now, and so Donnie turned to press his lips gently into the center of your palm.
“I…I honestly don’t even know where to start. I feel so scattered brain. Normally when my mind gets jumbled like this, I can put my focus into one of my projects and that usually fixes things. Yet, I can’t even seem to focus on any of that this time. All I can think about is, well, that night.”
A frown deepened upon your face as you continued to look down towards him, reassuringly caressing his cheek when he turned to gaze back up at you with a shaky breath.
“I thought I’d lose you. I’m…terrified I will. What if…what if I can’t keep you safe? What if it turns out that you get tired of this life? You deserve so much more than this. Moving in with a partner into a new apartment or even a house. Not down into the sewers to hide from people who want to hurt you because of me.”
You let Donnie’s words sink in, letting out your own shaky breath and blinking to prevent the formation of on coming tears.
“Oh, Donatello…”
You murmured his name before connecting your lips to his own, staying just long enough to let him know how you truly felt before pulling back ever so slightly.
“You will never lose me, because I feel and know that I am always safe with you. Despite whether or not you’ve made me some high-tech gadget. And I don’t need some new fancy apartment or house to be happy. You are my home, and I’ll gladly move wherever as long as you’re there too.”
Donnie couldn’t help the smile that warmed its way onto his heated face, and he slowly reached up to hold your own in his much larger hands just as you did to him. Your words found solace deep within not just his heart, but his soul. He’d still always be concerned for your safety, but now it felt like some sort of heavy chain had been lifted from his once jumbled mind. If you truly felt this way, truly believed in him, in the safety and security he provided, than he would too.
Donatello met you halfway as you leaned down for another kiss, this one longer and filled with deepened love. Pulling apart, the couple had adjusted, so that you lay comfortably tucked in between his arms and closer to his chest that held the heart which swooned heavily of you. Feeling your warmth against him, hearing your soft breaths, and the remedying sensation your loving embrace gave back was all he needed to ground himself back to reality. To you. With that sense of peace, Donnie felt that he could now actually get some restful sleep.
