no such thing as a weird ask!!! my inbox is always open (though my wretched little life means that the turn-around time for replies ranges from 2 days to 4 months 😭)

salt wives/sons(/daughters) are an aspect of grrm's ironborn world-building that vexes me to no end, because there are so many Implications. and because these Implications would fuck with other aspects of the ironborn plot, they never get interrogated in-universe. chiefly, how does balon (who canonically took multiple salt wives) have no salt sons??? doylist explanation is obviously because it would needlessly complicate the already complicated greyjoy inheritance nightmare rat-king shit sandwich kingsmoot sitch. but the possible watsonian interpretations are hilarious: like, balon greyjoy (rock) wife (only) guy? serial monogamist balon? or maybe he does have salt children, but they're all daughters? does greyjoy jizz require a harlaw egg to make male children? grrm won't return my calls.....

also shout-out to this alannys fic where she just straight-up murders balon's salt sons post-rebellion that shit ROCKED!!!!!!

hmmmm i kinda dig salt son jon, but i think it would rip even more as "cold comfort" thing. like theon is genuinely trying to connect with jon by offering him this context where he'd actually be acknowledged and be a legal part of the succession. but jon is just like... 😐 okay. well, it's fucked up that your people (the murderous, primitive, yucky ironmen) do that. ned stark (my dadddd) would never do something so gross and dishonorable.

also i think jon would hate being officially, legally slightlyyyy "less-than" as a salt son even more than being a bastard. it's closer to being trueborn, but in the words of francis thee crozier: "close is nothing. it's worse than nothing. it's worse than anything in the world." like i think it would actually drive jon bugfuck insane 😭

"Also I wonder if a boy taken in a raid could also be considered a salt son, just one an Ironborn man paid the iron price for? 🤔" this is intriguing, i shan't lie 👀 ironborn ramsay is so juicy (especially with an inverted theon-ramsay lord-hostage dynamic) like yes let's give this impressionable child with sadistic impulses the perfect cultural context for him to exercise violence against the powerless and be celebrated!!!! what could possibly go wrong!!!!! asoiaf doesn't have adoptive non-related kids (at least legally), so salt son ramsay doesn't jive with me personally, but hell man the world is your oyster 🦪 get down with ya bad, non-canonical self!

you haven't bothered me at all!!! <3 <3 <3 rather, you've got me putting my thinking cap on and straight-up freaking it!!! and by "it", let's just say... my interpretation of ironborn world-building, the flaws of canon, and the beautiful world of reader creativity <3

maegor banishes jaehaerys the second he arrives. smashcut to jae in the waiting room, seething and scrolling r/JustNoMIL 😭

daena barely even wants viserys' dumpy ass, but she still resource guards him like a rescue pitbull 😭 that's HER spit-soaked blond boy chew toy!!!!

literally no idea who this is or what this is about??? 😭 people are weird to me all the time, you're going to have to be more specific 😭😭😭

wahhhhh thank you so much!!!! 🥺❤️ we are entering (imo) one of the juiciest parts of the fic for wack-ass interpersonal relationships, so y'all are in for a "good" time 🤭 i can't even call it quen's crash out era because quite frankly that has been. the entire fic. but she will be fucking up her life and the lives of others in new and interesting ways!