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Poll for the 81%
Edit: the second to last option should say “longer than 1000 pages”. Sorry!
@artos-the-bear-ii because I’m curious
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Someone put the library system's only copy of the Penguin Count of Monte Cristo on hold so I need to finish it ahead of schedule. No way am I going to get through all ~1250 pages by the 10th of April, but I'll mark how far I get and pick it up again later.
Anyway, my first observation compared to the 2024 French movie version is that the screenwriters did a great job condensing such a big chunk of book! I think it would have been interesting, and perhaps even timely, if instead of rewriting Mercedes and Fernand to be wealthy they'd kept them as members of the 'permanently foreign' Catalan enclave outside Marseilles. Class conflict and falling for the servant boy is cute and all, but Mercedes as a poor outsider is more interesting so I'm excited to see how that develops in the book. I didn't find her spineless in the movie, but she's spinier in the text!
(Is Angele a creation for the movie? On the one hand, I don't actually want someone to spoil me on this point; on the other hand it's possible I'm going to spend a few hundred pages waiting for her to show up, even in a limited role, only to be disappointed. But I can bear it if so! With 1200 pages I'm sure there will be lots of other people for me to meet!)
A point for the movie: Fernand as Edmond's friend and rival rather than just rival makes the betrayal much more juicy! But there's still his betrayal of Mercedes to reckon with.
Also, the movie soundtrack is great, treat yourself to it sometime.
Ohhh interesting. I didn’t realize they did a “is it true you were her friend” for the movie, but that seems fun!
i am increasingly convinced that the wedding industry is having a statistically significant impact on young women leaving the mormon church. has anyone looked into this?
>mormons tell girls their most important roles throughout their entire life are wife and mother. extremely patriarchal, told in every way except in plain speech that they are expected to erase their personhood in favor of performing a strict role
>american culture says that the wedding day is about The BRIDE. it's HER day.
>mormon girls are not told about the strictures of a temple wedding until endowment because secret secret.
>mormon girls spend their whole lives dreaming about their american weddings with their wedding dresses and decorations and loving vows and a day about me me me me me me. perhaps the ONLY day that they truly expect might be in some way about them. the day they get to be star of the show
>wedding industry puffs these american girls dreams of their wedding up to extremes
>forced out of wedding dress on wedding day by a random bishop they've never met in their life because it's debatably not modest or white enough (even though it was made by a mormon dress shop) who also says your name wrong. you're not allowed to speak, and especially if you're in a larger city or a busy day, your wedding ceremony feels more like being processed at the DMV than a celebration of your love and commitment to each other. factory pace 15 minute wedding
>bishop follows you to the reception and loudly tells everyone that you and your new husband are the least important part of the ceremony because actually the holiness of the mormon temple church is what's really been proven today. better not get distracted by young love when really it's the Mormon Church That Matters
at least these are the throughlines i've noticed. i've never watched a woman's "I left the Mormon Church" video that didn't mention her wedding and how much it sucked absolute shit the whole time.
@tater-tot-pot-dish almost forgot to tag lmfao
thank you for explaining further! that makes a lot of sense.
totally <3. i also realized i kind of sketched this out but didn't fully explain. i don't think the heart of it is the opulence or extravagance; more that it's about the specialness of the day and the focus.
mormons think they're normal perfectly average christians until endowment because people who aren't endowed aren't allowed in the temple even if they're a mormon child in a mormon family. (to the point that exmormon youtubers and social media personalities regularly get comments from mormon youths saying that they're lying about the temple and endowment and all of it). + endowment takes place after high school graduation and the expectation is to marry YOUNG. so these girls are generally 18-22 (up to 24 if she both went to college and on mission), brand new to a church that runs on social pressure and expectation, and trained for their whole lives to obey and trust authority without question while ignoring their own feelings and misgivings. the consumerist american values and ideas of the wedding are in full play, including ideas that are WAY more powerful for mormon girls. it being the bride's day is supercharged in importance when the bride knows she will never get another day.
i think in the mormon girls' consciousness, she always knows she's going to be second fiddle. or fourth or fifth. she'll never hold the priesthood or be a leader to her family or community and even in the afterlife, she's beholden on her husband to call her forth by a secret name into paradise. and he can choose not to. but this day is supposed to be the day where she gets to be her own person and honored for her necessity to the whole process even if she's in a support role. where she gets to be recognized and honored for the role she's committed to.
and then. she likely can't wear her wedding dress and will be forced to buy another one in the mormon church giftshop that also sells the secret underwear. even if she does get to wear her dress, she has to put the shit quality mass manufactured one-size-fits-all temple garments on over it to feel ugly and undifferentiable during the ceremony. and her wedding ceremony is conducted in a factory style and it's exactly the same as the other girls that have gone ahead of her. to the point the bishops regularly get their names wrong. and then they don't get to exchange vows. and then they literally aren't allowed to have any kind of wedding celebration disconnected from the church so they can't hold a reception without a bishop in attendance to spend the whole time denigrating the importance of her relationship with her husband and telling all the non-mormons that the most special part of the day is over and they weren't allowed in because they're not holy enough and this reception is just a stupid meaningless party. telling everyone that the only part of the day that the bride had any say over and the only part where she's meant to be special means nothing and is nothing. the part that matters is the part where she doesn't.
during what is supposed to be her special day, she probably never feels more reduced to being an interchangeable hole whose purpose is producing flesh children and spirit babies. any other girl could have been standing there with your husband and it wouldn't have made a single difference. and this is the day your whole life has been leading to.
like, it's the young ages and the recent surprise of what the church actually is and the unbelievable sexism to their liturgy and how it's all mutually exclusive to an american wedding culture that mormon girls are primed to invest in. like these girls talk about picking out baby names and starting wedding scrapbooks at like 8. they're all trained by their religion to be the girl in class that is the most obsessed with getting married and having babies and then, right before what they've been dreaming of for their entire life finally happens, all of those dreams are crushed into dust and replaced with something i think every american would call a very bad wedding.
like. when you think about how a non-mormon girl who started her wedding scrapbooks at age 8 would react to the priest at her wedding getting her name wrong, to not being able to wear her dress, to not being able to choose her venue or have her different religion family members and loved ones in attendance, to have the same guy who got your name wrong in the ceremony follow you to the reception and continue to shit on your relationship in order to remind everyone that the Church is Most Important? she'd murder that priest and burn the fucking building down with everyone in it, laughing while people fled. and then she'd have a re-do and no one would be surprised. the mormon girls seem to leave the church about it, which is basically burning their whole lives down with how enmeshed the mormon church demands you be.
they train these girls to look forward to their wedding as the most important day of their lives and then their church structure actively manufactures the worst, most depersonalized and disrespectful weddings i could ever imagine. and then girls who've been dreaming about their weddings forever go "actually fuck this and fuck you."
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Yeah Mr. Darcy’s proposal was a complete turd and a half but you gotta understand. You got your life together. A good career, stable income, retirement plan, all that shit together. And you meet this girl. And she’s everything. Clever, outspoken, funny, calls you on your bullshit. Grade A cutie, right? And she doesn’t go out of her way to spend time with you but she’s nice, and sometimes you catch her looking your way in a way that makes you think you might have a shot.
But her family. Holy shit.
First off, it’s p much ALL women, and mostly UNMARRIED women, which at this time means of something happens to her dad then you’re financially responsible for like. Four grown ass adults, potentially forever
Because mom in law is DEFINITELY gonna need someone to take care of her when dad in law kicks it, and they have like. NO money. So already you’re accepting that if all goes well, you’re gonna be one random old bag’s retirement home. That’s expensive and exhausting, yeah? Imagine asking someone on a first date knowing that if they say yes and things go good her high-strung chihuahua mother is gonna move in with you. IMAGINE.
And girly’s other sisters. Well, one is a sweetheart, yeah, so she probably won’t be an issue, but that still leaves three more, and two of those ones are INSUFFERABLE. Never went to school, dumb as rocks, spend cash like it’s toilet paper
And while one of the two is young still and might grow out of it the OTHER one is actively torpedo’ing her entire family’s reputation by wandering off with random dudes and chasing ass. She’s never gonna work, she can’t build connections, she’s a fucking sinkhole, and she’s being led on by the same goddamn con man ass leeching tit who’s been bleeding you dry while telling anyone who’ll listen that your family is full of ratty thieving bastards.
And if he dumps her after a week- WHICH YOU KNOW HIS BITCH ASS IS GONNA- you’ve got a SECOND UNMARRIABLE GROWN ASS ADULT TO PROVIDE FOR. And you KNOW she’s gonna be a tantrum-throwing little shit about it, and it’s not like you can lock her in the basement or something, you’re gonna have to bring her fucking. Everywhere. And give her an allowance and shit while she contributes zero, because again, she NEVER GOT EDUCATED AND HAS NO MARKETABLE SKILLS. She’s not even good to TALK to. FUCK
And you’re looking at this girl’s father like “please for the love of fuck get your spawn under control, marry them off, get them working on their résumé, learning to sew or be nursemaids or manage staff or SOMETHING, yall got no money and one foot in the grave” and that old man just laughs like “haha yeah, what can you do. lol”
So you’re looking to the mom and finally it’s making sense how she got that twitch in her eye and as MUCH as she is you’re starting to realize she’s the SMART one, desperately throwing her armloads of girls at random men like they’re a bunch of fucking lifeboats bobbing around a sinking ship, like yes Jesus Christ sweetly that life boat IS old and ugly and kind of boring but for FUCKS SAKE PICK ONE
And you look back at this girl who is ALSO REFUSING THE LIFE BOATS BY THE WAY and god damn it she’s still the most radiant thing you’ve ever seen so fine, fuck it, Christ alive, you’ll do it. You’ll shoot your shot. She’s everything you’ve ever wanted in anybody abut it’s not even just about that anymore, it’s about being her best fucking shot at a future, and even if she doesn’t like you all that much she’s still gonna say yes and that might break your heart a bit knowing it’s about the money but who knows, maybe it will at least be civil, or companionable, and even if she doesn’t LOVE you at least you’ll know she’s well and cared for
And so you’ll do it. You’ll take on the neurotic stress mess mother in law, the absent father, the broke ass wingnut no brain no money no future airhead sisters, the bad mannered relatives and the embarrassing behaviour and the impending future of sharing your entire shit with a clown parade of freeloaders, you’ll risk it all and accept the absolute certainty of financial ruin and emotional exhaustion for the rest of your whole ass life and you’ll make your own family deal with it too, you’ll do it, you’ll fucking DO IT, you stupid lovesick motherfucker
And so you go to this chick like “look. Your whole family’s a shitshow. You’ve got fucking nothing and you’re gonna die on the street. But for some reason- and I don’t get it either- I’ve fallen in love with you, and I wish I didn’t, but I did, so I’m telling you that whether you like me or not, I’ll give you everything. I’ll give you everything even if it’s the dumbest shit I ever done. Fuck my stupid Baka ass, I’ll marry you.”
And she looks at you- having heard or considered absolutely none of your months-long internal debate and monologue- and goes “The fuck did you just say about my family, you son of a bitch?”
And the shock of that is enough to jolt you back into a reality where you are able to actually hear and process what just came out of your damn mouth And yeah
Yeah, I think I kinda get it
This. Never actually occurred to me but. HUH. That makes so much sense!
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Slightly more detailed video description below cut
Source: x.com
Reblogged cozycatniky
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Not a single care
Source: instagram.com
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My challenge with the 100 essential lists is I don't watch enough movies to easily come up with 100, and I read far too many books to narrow it down to 100. But if I had world enough and time, I find I'm itching to make smaller lists in more targeted subgenres. Sort of like how people used to use Goodreads lists (do they still? My Historical Femdom list is still going pretty strong over there.)
“100 essential-to-Sage books that are available on bookshop.org”
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i have never met an unpsychotic person who knows what it actually means to “not encourage the delusion” …not a single one
what “don’t encourage the delusion” means:
- don’t argue with or challenge the delusion—attempting to disprove someone’s delusions is not helpful at all and will result in that person not trusting you
- assure the delusional person that they are safe; be open and honest at all times
- encourage them to verbalize their feelings and offer protection to prevent injury to themselves or, possibly, others
- start building a trusting relationship with them rather than acting on a desire to control their symptoms
- do not confirm or feed into the delusion by asking questions about it when the person is not experiencing a psychotic episode
what it does not mean:
- insisting to a psychotic person experiencing psychosis that what they’re experiencing isn’t real
I don’t mean to trivialize psychosis by making a weird comparison, but this guide also serves as a handy checklist for helping someone through a bad drug trip. In both cases your number one priority is to get the person through whatever they’re dealing with unharmed.
i don’t think it’s trivializing at all, nor a weird comparison—as a psychotic person who has had psychotic episodes inadvertently triggered by drug use and/or worsened while trying to self-medicate with drugs, i think this is an important addition.
This is also important for interacting with people experiencing dementia, btw.
Would anyone be both willing and able to provide advice for what to do when you are the subject of a paranoid delusion? With a particular situation in mind, I’m not sure how to do both “assure the delusional person that they are safe” and “don’t challenge the delusion” when the delusion is specifically that they are not safe because they believe I am doing something that harms them.
I realize I am asking for unpaid advice from people on the internet, none of whom are my medical provider (and on a thread where the original posts are 5 years old), so like, no pressure. But this is one of the first threads I’ve come across from people who actually Get It so I’m hoping someone might have the wherewithal to point in the right direction WRT paranoid delusions in particular.
Clarification on “do not confirm or feed into the delusion by asking questions about it when the person is not experiencing a psychotic episode” might also be helpful. It can seem tempting to say, when things are more stable, “So, you told me I was harming you, and I want to make sure we’re both on the same page about me not actually harming you” or “So, the next time you tell me I’m harming you in this particular way, is there a course of action you would like me to take?” Are these no-gos? Is there a better way to ask the “How can we plan for the future?” question that doesn’t risk feeding into the delusion?
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Anonymous asked:
Now you’ve got me curious — is P&P really the first-ever English language romance novel (by RWA/publishing definitions)? I feel like that can’t possibly be true but I can’t think of anything earlier.
Probably not, though I suspect any other title I name is going to cause a firefight (Clarissa or Pamela as the original bodice-ripper?!) It's certainly a great-aunt if not grandmother to the genre, though.
Huh. I do rather like Pamela as the original #Problematic Romance. Now that I think about it, it does have a LOT in common with some of Colleen Hoover’s stuff. And probably Haunting Adelaide, though I’ve never read that book.
At some point I’m going to need to kick the hornets’ nest. Probably not today, but one day.
This will involve explaining that, yes, it’s a very sweet and human sentiment for autistic people to look for connection, commonalities, and ways to compliment others, BUT it is still, in fact, a dick move to try and diagnose someone on the internet.
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buffintruder gacha'd...
...a hecking chonker!!!
The emoji inside the gacha ball was designed and created by @shadowylemon.
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