IT'S BATMOMA TIME!!

As I said, Batmom promotes long hair, so the birdies use them

Duke doesn't know what's going on

IT'S BATMOMA TIME!!

As I said, Batmom promotes long hair, so the birdies use them

Duke doesn't know what's going on

WAIT THIS ATE TOO HARD 😼

Reverse robin au is just a setup to create the most Spoiled Unholy Terror version of Dick Grayson physically possible.

If we say bruce got lost in the timestream on roughly the same timeline (ie: in the process of adopting dickie g) that is no longer his child that is damians sprog now and forever, and he is going to spoil dick that entire goddamn time. Damian is a Weird And Attentive Person handing him a child who is Weird and Loves Attention is a surefire way to make the most codependent siblingparent relationship possible. You want to go kick grown men with guns in the head on a school night? okay lets go

dick wouldn’t even let damian give him back to bruce. 9 year old dick grayson would take one look at bruce and go “i dont know you and I don’t like you where’s damian i want damian" and he is willing to cry and scream so hard he passes out about it. DAMIAN IS NOT HANDING HIS ASS OVER!!!! He was single fathering for a year that is his kid now bruce missed his window he can now go sit in the corner and be the reproachful and overinvolved grandfather and be grateful. You dont even want to be a parent anymore old man go take several seats. You dont even know the Bedtime Routine. You dont know the names of All Seventy Six Stuffed Animals and their roles in the Circus of Imaginative Play

hes the most spoiled most favoritest child in the whole entire world. He can literally bully jason or tim or whoever the hell he wants outright and what are they gonna do about it. Tell bruce? Okay. Tell damian? He has to laugh. Do it bitch i dare you. Watch what happens. TRY to retaliate WATCH WHAT HAPPENS. hes got an ego the size of the solar system and if you even try to tell him hes not as cute as he thinks he is his brotherdad is going to rain actual hellfire on you forever until you’re dead forever

bruce is just a shitty overinvolved granddad who doesn’t actually want to do the parenting but does want to make all of the decisions for it and spends waaaay too much time breathing down damians neck second guessing every choice he makes and ROYALLY pissing him off. Damian’s looking up private schools for gifted kids with intense athletic programs because he wants what’s best for dick (who has been homeschooled but needs more socialization now that he’s not living in a circus) and is willing to move to get there and bruce is like. "I don’t know why you’re not just sending him to gotham academy."

bruce. who is the guardian me or you. “You and tim and jason did excellently at gotham academy i dont know what you have against it-“ WHO IS THE GUARDIAN ME OR YOU “i think you’re biased and not considering all the options it has the things youre looking for and is close to home” YOU ARE NOT DOING THE PARENTING “damian you’re 23 years old i’m trying to help you youve never done this before-“ THAT PLACE IS FULL OF THE MOST FUCKED UP LITTLE SOCIOPATHIC LOVELESS BRATS IMAGINABLE I AM NOT SENDING RICHARD TO BE EXPOSED TO THAT PLACE OR ANY OF THOSE CRETINS!! "I think its a MISTAKE to sacrifice his EDUCATIONAL DEVELOPMENT just because YOU got an idea in your head-“

this is constant and its about everything damian does with dick it’s about what he eats when he eats his training what he does on patrol who he patrols with when he patrols when he does his homework who he does homework with how he does homework what he wears etc etc etc. it makes damian possibly the most angry person on the planet.

the biggest difference here between eldest brother dick and eldest brother damian is that during these arguments Damian can and will call Talia under the table on speakerphone and let her listen for 5-10 minutes and then go “MOTHER. why did you have sex with this man he is just AWFUL.” and then pull his phone out and now bruce is fighting both damian AND talia and talia has never lost a fight in her entire life and isnt about to start now. she is about to roast you on a SPIT old man!! EXTRA. CRISPY!!!

damian does not have to worry about the same things eldest sibling dickie g has to worry about like he’s bruces biological child. Kick me out of the house if you want but you cant kick me out of the bloodline. Dont make me fucking call Your Wife And My Mother Talia Al Ghul. People are in his corner dick had nobody damian has a mom and a biological claim. And he Wants to be batman. There’s no threat for damian here . GET OUT OF MY CITY AND HOUSE!!! Okay. Robin lets go live in my moms seventh house thats nicer than this one and be batman and robin in venice.

@seekingxanadu yes exactly 🥰 you got it this is quite literally exactly the problem. we need to hit bruce with our cars if we all try surely one of us will get a good enough hit in to kill him

This is divine. Bro cooked so hard y’all made me like the reverse robins AU 😭🙏🏾

wally having the absolute worst time of his life in absolute flash #1 and then in another universe he's doing this with sonic the hedgehog:

IM SCREAMING 😭😭 PLEASE I CANT

Damian, now a teenager and wanting to experience normal teen shit: Baba, it’s just an overnight party

Tim: Yeah Bruce, at least Damian’s asking and not sneaking out

Jason: Small victories

Bruce: Fine… I’ll let you go on one condition

Damian: Anything

Bruce: Point to one person in this room that’s straight

Tim: …

Dick: …

Jason: …

Damian: Thats easy. Pennyworth

Bruce: *pulls out buzzer and presses on it* Wrong! It was a trick question. Not a single person in this household is straight. Get your ass upstairs

Damian: Wha- That’s so unfair, ugh! *stomps upstairs muttering under his breath*

Alfred: Master Bruce-

Bruce: Don’t even try to deny it Alfred. I was young but I still had eyes. You and my parents were very obvious.

Dick: Oop!

HELP I LOVE THIS 😭 I always loved the secrect Alfred/Martha/Thomas fan timeline and when Bruce is oblivious to it is even BETTER 😭

In a universe where Damian was raised by Bruce since birth and never was told his siblings were adopted

Damian, age 12 helping unpacking things at Dicks new apartment: whos that?

Dick: Who?

Damian: That guy in the photo with you

Dick:

Dick: you mean- my dad? I never showed my parents to you?

Damian: there is no way thats our dad

Dick: our? Damian you- you know I’m adopted right?

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: we are all adopted, Damian.

Damian:

Damian: Even Cass?

Dick: you were there at her adoption.

Damian: I’m twelve! Probably didn’t payed attention to it.

Dick: you never asked yourself why do we don’t call Bruce ‘dad’?

Damian: I thought it was some petty teenager thing!

Dick: I’M 26!

Damian:

Damian: is Tim adopted?

Dick: yes?

Damian: knew it.

HELP IM CRYING

really wish DC gave us more dick and cass interactions in the early 2000s. especially bc they were bruce’s only 2 kids at the time, considering tim was with his dad, and they’re shown as close but we don’t know how they got there. theyre such similar characters and yet different in a lot of ways, and you can tell dick really cares for her :((

Real guys 😭🙏🏾 They don’t hate each other!

That trend with babies crying bc their fathers cut their beards but it’s tim and dick when Dick chops off his luscious long hair

THIS. I MISS HIS LONG HAIR 😭😭

IF DC WEREN'T COWARDS THEY'D GIVE US A STATIC SHOCK AND DUKE THOMAS CROSSOVER!!!!

Throw Jennifer Pierce "Lightning" and Wallace west "Kid Flash" in this and you got yourself a team of black excellence

LET EM COOK ‼️

You’re telling me rn..that Duke wouldn’t want Kendrick’s jacket…and wouldn’t use Bruce’s money to get it…and wouldn’t wear it to galas to piss off the high class racists attending…. Ok then….moving along…(Guys this is coming from my own want of Kendrick’s jacket btw)

My fellow Duke Thomas lovers:

@numberonedukethomasapologist

@overcooked444

live laugh love Duke Thomas 💝

THERE ARE NO WORDS FOR THE AMOUNT OF PURE JOY THIS BRINGS ME!!

Not only would Duke buy the jacket and wear it to EVERY gala he is forced to attend, but for a solid 9 months he'd wear it around the mansion.

THATS WHAT IM SAYIN💯 BRO UNDERSTANDS‼️

the stars, the moon.

*screams*

Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—

Where’s the rest of the essay op

Yo this needs to be continued 😭

follow up to this bunny redesign :) I think Alistair should have a ponytail! and maybe a more cohesive personality! Ask me about my thoughts on him!

*gasps* he does need a ponytail 😭‼️