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Gigi

@abbzloves

20

Hear me out.

The more we learn about Sylus, the more I think he is still a dragon.

The rumours when MC first comes to the N109 zone saying that he had wings and big teeth? Dragon. Rumours he was celebrating his 90th birthday? Dragon. The way he hordes things and his greed? Dragon. The birthday event saying that he shows his affection and love like a predator and animal? Dragon. He still remembers their past? Dragon. His facial features being sharp, and his inner eye corners? Dragon.

EVEN HIS DAMN VOICE SOUNDS LIKE A GROWL!

Sylus was very clearly abandoned by his family. Too human, but also, not human enough. Never fitting in. Never good enough.

Sylus, however, is loving. He was never provided with enough love or support, so, knowing Sylus, he decided to do the opposite. He learned how much he was hurt in his “past life” and how MC was hurt as well and decided to turn around and show unconditional love. His attachment style is so secure, he’s confident and reliable, he supports the autonomy of those around him that he cares about and never allows them to feel not good enough. He never allows them to feel like they don’t belong.

He never forces himself into her life, after he learns that she truly does not remember him. That she was disgusted by him. He gives her time and space. He allows her to come to him. Though I’m sure his greed makes him want to take all of her time and attention and affection, he resists it. He is even willing to leave her life if she wishes.

Even when she was trying to find the aether core, Sylus knew about her. But he let her come to him first. He let her make that decision. He left breadcrumbs to lead her, Elysium being the prime example. It was her decision. Her choice.

She’s also the one that always initiates the physical affection first. He always allows her to kiss him first, he doesn’t want to make her feel pressure.

If I were to place a bet, he would have built Onychinus as a place where he and mc could belong. Where all of the misfits of the world could feel safe.

He is such a kind person. He is such a green flag. I love him your honour!

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♱⋅── angst. just rafayel completely breaking down the first time you tell him you love him (aka the fifty-third time he hears those words from you for the first time, and the fifty-third time he's asked you to marry him)

The first time you tell Rafayel, he doesn’t believe you.

“Do you really mean it?”

His voice cracks, just a little, and when he looks at you like that something aches deep inside your chest. He’s tense, almost frozen, and you realize he’s bracing himself, waiting for the wave to crash. Waiting to wake up alone again.

“Rafayel, my love, my silly fishie,” you coo, your voice soft and steady as you pull him closer, cupping his face ever so gently between your palms. “I love you.”

For a moment, he just stares up at you, a flicker of disbelief before his resolve shatters. A sob slips past his lips, broken and raw, and he’s leaning into your touch like he’s afraid you’ll vanish. He’s curling himself closer,  hands finding the curve of your hips like they were always meant to be there, clutching tightly as he almost falls into your embrace. Even then, his gaze never leaves yours, doe-eyed and pleading, as though he can’t quite believe this is real.

I love Zayne, I love him.

He is such a good foil to Caleb’s character.

Watching the Heartstring Notes memory on yt and oml, his quote “the premise of recounting the past is knowing the impossibility of having a shared future together. Otherwise the future should be the topic, not what’s past. Right?”

Zayne knows he will have a future with mc, and he is willing to fight for it. Whatever he is against, a curse or a god, or even saving a patient, he will persevere. Especially when it comes to mc, he will fight tooth and claw to get to her.

Caleb and Zayne are both scared of losing her, but go about it in different ways. Caleb clings onto their past for a plethora of reasons, but that’s the thing he knows he’s already had. He can guarantee that he will have those forever, but he doesn’t fully know if he’ll be by her side in the future. All of that scares him, and because of his fear he responds with manipulation, control, and possessiveness.

Zayne is scared of losing her. Not in the same way though, he is terrified of losing her because be could lose control and hurt her. He knows they were together in the past, but instead of clinging to it, he will fight for them to be together in the future. He has not resigned himself to it, like Caleb has.

Caleb feels like he has no control over his fate, and has resigned himself to it.

Zayne knows he has no control over his fate, but he does not sit in it, he fights for the control. He fights to get what he wants.

They’re both pawns in greater games, they both know it, but one fights to become a queen and the other becomes complacent with being stalemated.

They’re such cool and complicated characters.

Loving you is harder then it seems

Pairing: Rafayel x mc

Cw: angst, grief, anger, argument, hurt and comfort, happy ending I swear, more???, please tell me if I missed anything

Note: My feelings for Rafayel are… complicated. I think he’s incredibly well written and complex, but sometimes, he rubs me wrong way. I wanted to write this to try to sift through my feelings about him. It kind of helped, I don’t know if it’s good or not. Please enjoy!

Please don’t eat me alive Rafayel girlies! I have so much respect for you! If I wrote him wrong, please let me know as well!

————

You couldn’t put your finger on it for the longest time, until it finally hit you. Whenever you had noticed those rare moments of Rafayel letting his guard drop, his face twisted into melancholy. He exuded it. The yearning for something lost, the grief that filled his blood stream, his anger so clearly displayed in his paintings.

In those quiet moments, you could feel it vibrating off of him. Whenever he looked out into the sea, he ached for it. You could always feel it’s sway on him, the ocean singing it’s siren song, trying to summon him back. To embrace him like a mother would, to keep him in it’s clutches. Some days, you felt like he was closer to giving in then others. It felt like a constant struggle for him.

On those days, those incredibly distant days that caused your heart to ache and your skin to itch with the need to hold onto him, you felt such immense fear. It was suffocating, really. You needed him just as much as he needed the sea, and that was terrifying as well. So, you learned to give him distance on those days. For both your health and his. You would distract yourself, with work, with friends, with your home, with your plushies. Anything that could stop you from running back to him, and holding onto him for forever.

You thought he would appreciate it.

That was until, he showed up at your front door, anger radiating off of his frame. And accusations he was ready to let fly. You had tried to defuse the situation, tried to understand him and communicate but it escalated. It was farther out of your control than any of his moods had ever been, and it stirred that fear in you. That anger within you. It made you frustrated, and you felt like you were on the verge of tears.

“You promised you would never leave me.” His gaze is heavy, accusatory and desperate.

“But that doesn’t mean you won’t leave me.” You breathed, your voice thick and throat tight. You could feel your tears building at the corner of your eyes.

He paused, then a confused look graced his face. You understood his fear more then was healthy, and that seemed to dawn on him.

“Cutie…” he breathed walking closer to you, but you backed up. Trying to maintain some distance because you would fall apart if he touched you. Your resolve would crumble like a sand castle does to the waves, you would be swept away and be in his domain.

“No, Rafayel. I never know what’s going on in your head. I try so hard, but you never tell me.” You breathed, anger and hurt in your voice.

“I want you to be honest with me, do you love me,” you gestured towards yourself, “or do you love the memories of me. I don’t know who I was, I don’t remember. It feels like you love the past me, the one in your previous life.”

“I love you, every version of you! I waited for you for 800 years! I gave up Lemuria for you!” He returned passionately, ready to refuse such a ridiculous claim.

“I never asked you to!” You yell, you start pacing. Everything felt so, overwhelming. “That’s the thing! I don’t remember, I don’t remember being your precious bride, I don’t remember betraying you, I don’t remember loving you then! I only know loving you now!” You felt your anger boiling and the tears started coming.

“I want you to love me now, Rafayel. I don’t want you to love me just because you loved me then, I want you to love me because you loved me now. I want you to choose this version of me instead of loving the memory! I’m sorry I don’t remember! I’m sorry I made you wait 800 years! I’m sorry you lost Lemuria! I’m sorry!” You ran your hands through your hair, and he stood there. Frozen and dumbfounded, like he didn’t understand where any of this was coming from. But your fear was a constant undercurrent in all of your words.

“You will never understand how sorry I am. Or how guilty I feel. But I don’t remember any of that. I just…” you trailed off, you felt so many emotions overwhelming you. “I just want to love you, and know that you loved me. I’m so afraid.” You looked at him, and his face was awash with an indescribable expression. You had never seen it on his face before.

He walked towards you again, having stopped previously. He got so close, and you couldn’t help but flinch. He watched that too, with the same expression. His eyes soft, the cotton candy colouring feeling comforting. He reached up and cupped you left cheek, and his thumb wiped away a stray tear. You tried to hold strong for a moment, but let yourself lean into his warmth. More tears fell, a combination of frustration, fear, longing, sadness, and love.

He wrapped his other arm around your shoulders and let you cry into his chest. Your head cradled and held tightly. You let the waves crash over you, and you sobbed. He made some cooing sounds at you, and rocked you back and forth softly. You felt a few tears hit the top of your head and slide down your hair. You wrapped you arms around him and rubbed his back. You stood together, crying. You don’t know for how long, but when your tears finally stopped and his shirt was properly soaked, you tried to pull away. But his arms tightened around you, unwilling to let you leave.

“Rafayel…” you whispered to him. You heard a sniffle come from him, but he finally let you pull back enough to see his face. Red rimmed pink and blue eyes looked down at you. He must have cried as much as you. You saw no hint of his usual sarcastic façade, only the real and raw. The desperation, the insecurity, the loneliness were there reflected on his entire face. But there was something else, fear and guilt. Your stomach sunk like a pebble tossed into the ocean.

He caressed your cheek and brought his lips to your forehead, he kissed gently and stayed for longer then he should have. But he looked more composed when he pulled away. “My love…” he trailed off.

“I owe you an apology. You did nothing wrong, this, all of this, was of my own making. I’m the one that caused all of it, and I am the one responsible for my everything. You are not to blame in any of this, got it?” His voice was firm, still with his slightly breathy element. It was earnest and strong and filled with not even a trace of resentment. The type that you feared he felt towards you.

You nodded then he continued.

“I love you. I choose you. Because no matter what version of you, you are the woman that I love. My heart burns for you. My lungs ache for you. Without you, I am reduced to little but a beautiful and talented artist,” he added some humour to try to lighten the mood, you giggled a little bit and he gave you a small smile then continued with what he was saying. “Even if I am reduced to that, I will have lost my will. I have many things I still need to tell you, so many things I want to share. My grief and anger can only take me so far, because without you, I will fall apart. You are the oxygen to my flame, I would only burn so long without snuffing out.” He breathed his words were genuine, you felt it in your core.

“You have to promise to be honest with me.” You implored, unwilling to deal with deciet and deception again.

“I will do everything within my power to be truthful.”

“No, I want a straight forward promise. I will not let you slip your way out of this fishie.” He chuckled, clearly caught.

“I promise, I will be honest with you.”

“And?”

“I will be forth coming,”

“And?”

“I will not hide things from you.”

“And?”

“I love you?”

You shook your head at him, and pulled him down into a kiss. He went, voluntarily. The moment your lips laid on each others, he consumed you hungrily, like a moth to a flame. You were stuck together like glue, not willing to leave each other’s embrace. The kiss was passionate, and sensual, and sloppy. The make up was always the best part.

You knew you both had a long way to go, issues to fix, communication to get better at, and things to mediate. But in this moment, everything felt better. You fear felt lessened, you felt relieved for the first time in a long time. And he did too,

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off guard on duty

— the big twins watch the little twins for a day and long for what they think they'll never have.

ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ: my babies my angels my loves 。°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°。 sylus is just a dad of 4. here's a silly little fic about the big twins watching the little twins. they have a great time. let me know what you think of this one lol, it was super fun to make! enjoy! ❀-urs important heads up for context of this story: kyros and lucian are (my headcanon) sylus's twin boys. around 3 years old at this time.

kieran, luke, lucian and kyros highlight!! | sylus x reader | fluff, angst, softbabysitter!twins, mom!reader, sufferingdad!sylus, bigtwins are also sylus's sons change my mind?? tw: separation anxiety/tantrums, past abuse mentioned (pls let me know if I missed any!)

Don’t drop them.

Don’t lose them.

Dinner is at six.

Easy enough. They’ve gone through more difficult missions before. Covert ones, requiring meticulous planning and great improvisation. 

Kieran prides himself in being able to execute seventeen different kinds of strategies to take down a group of thirty men within 5 minutes. Luke can persuade anyone into doing anything, and eliminate them— without a trace—if they don’t comply. Exceptional mercenaries. Isolated ghosts. Nothing is impossible.

Perfectly capable babysitters, if you ask them. 

How they made the silent twin wail like a siren and the rambunctious one sit still was beyond them.

Papa!” Kyros screams, blotchy red cheeks puffed and damp bangs stuck to his sweaty forehead. He presses himself against the heavy main door, as if forcing himself to walk through, stretching his little limbs and straining his ankles to reach the knob. “Papa! Papa!” 

Oh my bby boys 😭

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Sylus, Intimacy and Desire: An Essay

Inspired by this excellent video essay on Zayne's intimacy and a few comments asking for a similar analysis of Sylus, I wanted to share a few of my thoughts!

I actually think that Sylus and Zayne are great to contrast to each other on this topic because they each make relatively overt bids for physical intimacy but in very different ways.

While Zayne is outwardly restrained, where that restraint causes his hidden internal desires to intensify to the point of no longer being controllable, Sylus is outwardly flirtatious/assertive, but then actually very comfortable managing/controlling his desires.

Sylus's character demonstrates that when desire is embraced and expected, and appropriately indulged, it can be confidently controlled and regulated. It can seem paradoxical at first--that the most "forward" character is also the one most interested in specific, verbal consent--but I'd argue it's spot on in terms of psychology.

Sylus knows and accepts his desires

In Midnight Stealth, he says, "I truly enjoy watching my little prey struggle. Especially when it thinks it can escape from me." There's clearly a sensual/sexual element to this, and it points directly at kink, where power and power exchance are tantamount.

More on power exchange in a second, but what I want to emphasize here is that Sylus is very comfortable with what's considered to be a very "dark" desire. (Dark romance girlies, sound off.)

Contrast this to Zayne, who feels very conflicted about even very normative, expected desires and emotions.

Sylus has a lot of reason to be very comfortable with his desires, regardless of their nature, due to his powers as a dragon. He's able to pull out others' hidden desires, so of course he knows his own. As we see in Beyond Cloudfall, the types of desire he respects are when people are true to their hearts--ie honest with themselves and others about what they truly want, even/especially when others consider those desires to be dark/deviant. MC is the only person he's met who's honest in this way and truly follows her heart.

Power exchange

We get many signs that Sylus is very interested in power exchange, such as the entirety of No Defense Zone where he taunts MC to "tame" him, and the recurring theme of "taming" and "winning his heart" that's made especially clear in Final Farewell (the Abyssal Chaos Commission) dialogue. In Night of Secrecy, when MC indicates she wants control, he says he can't give it to her--"At least, not yet."

He is actively looking the relationship to get to a point where he feels safe giving full control to MC.

Conversely, when it comes to being dominant, he doesn't value dominance for dominance's sake--he's constatly talking about how boring "weak prey" is. What is attractive to him about MC, and when she submits to him, is specifically that she's strong and powerful, specifically that she trusts him with herself. If she didn't have power to give up, power that he respected, he simply wouldn't be interested.

Delightfully, in the AU of Innocent Birdcage, we get a version of Sylus who is similarly comfortable with his desires, so we get an even more overt demonsration of bondage kink. Even when not frenzied, he's tugging that thread of power exchange, reminding MC that he's dangerous while simultaneously smitten with her courage.

Sylus gets off on more than just sex

What is so interesting to me about Sylus's portrayal is that he's very flirtatious, very forward, and very sensual--but with relatively very few on-screen/-page kisses. We get very sexually charged moments with face touching, hands (MY GOD THE HANDS), etc, but the tension is rarely diffused.

We see Sylus's physical sensitivity especially in Lost Oasis, No Defense Zone, and Innocent Birdcage. Part of why we see these sensual moments not devolve abruptly into heavy petting, like we do with Zayne, is that Sylus is not in a hurry. We see this in Night of Secrecy too--MC has to get quite forward for him to finally "give in" (though he never really loses control).

Sylus enjoys the waiting. Unlike Zayne, who sees his restraint as a matter of life and death, to Sylus, it's a game. He enjoys seeing how much teasing he can take (No Defense Zone) and putting MC in situations where he doesn't know how she'll respond ("Sylus and Tartarus are in your hands...").

Given their history in Beyond Cloudfall, things like forehead kisses are just as precious to Sylus as other more overtly sexual types of affection. Sylus is willing to accept affection and sensation in any form MC is willing to provide it, while also enjoying a bit of power play. So, touching her face, grabbing her chin, throwing her around a bit--gestures which become more affectionate and more accepted by MC over time, but still retain their value to him.

He's a young dragon

One of my absolute favorite moments in Beyond Cloudfall is when MC says, "You're a young dragon, aren't you?" It humanizes Sylus in this really profound way, reminding us that he's still figuring certain things out as he goes.

Given that he's a creature very in-touch with his instincts and desires, you're not going to get a typical virginal trope. He's certainly not naive to the mechanics--and you can certainly imagine he'd be aware of all kinds of sexual desires thanks to his draconic powers.

But, MC is still the one to introduce him to the concept of a forehead kiss. We see him be bold and flirtatious in Bloodnight Blaze, confirming that he's well in-touch with those desires, but he seems to value the tender moments equally, if not moreso.

There is this sense in his character of wanting to explore things with MC, of wanting to learn with her, to grow together. There's an openness and receptivity to his character in that way. Unlike Zayne, he may not have all that many specific ideas of what he wants to do to/with MC--he wants to experience that intimacy with her having equal agency and initiative.

He wants to be wanted

I posted recently about the close-up shot of Sylus's eye in Night of Secrecy, where we're shown very clearly that he's not using his power to manipulate desire.

Given that Sylus has always been percieved as a dangerous, violent creature by everyone except a select few, to be seen in a tender way is unfamiliar and vulnerable.

He wants to experience her desire in its raw, un-tampered-with state. He wants to know what she truly wants, and does not want to create a scenario where he's in some way manipulating or coercing her desire, whether using his eye or otherwise. Her genuine desire is more precious and appealing to him than mere sex.

As much as I am begggingggg for more Sylus make-out cards, I think moments like we see in Magnum Opus are far more precious to him.

A very strong piece of supporting evidence here is what he says in Approaching Dusk when MC asks how she can get him to willingly stay in her trap. He tells her that she should ask him for things, show her vulnerable side, and make him feel as though she relies on him. That is much more seductive to Sylus than physical pleasure.

What consent means to Sylus

I think the idea of getting consent can be construed in a "cover your ass" way, as in, "well, you have to do this or you're doing something wrong" so it's a "good guy" thing to do.

But, one of the things to be found within responsible kink is a much more profound appreciation for consent. To pull on the themes above, consent isn't just a box to check; it communicates genuine, vulnerable desire. It also affirms that the power exchange is wanted on both sides.

When Sylus asks for consent, he's saying, "You have power in this scenario. Are you willing to give it to me?"

It's the very fact that she can and would say 'no' that makes her 'yes' so very intoxicating and appealing to him. Even in Long Awaited Revelry, he's giving her options. It's her own greed/desire that makes her agree to his terms--not her lack of alternatives. She doesn't actually have to get the Aether Core, but she wants it enough to take risks.

Night of Secrecy

Let's dig deeper into some key dialogue in Night of Secrecy:

MC: “I told you that a hunter doesn’t like being passive.”  Sylus: “Oh… so you want control… Unfortunately… I can’t give it to you. Not yet, at least.” His warm hands scorch my skin and slide up my back unhindered, settling firmly on my waist. When gripping a gun, they’re cold and unyielding, but when they touch me, they become tender and warm. And now they’re a weapon of their own, teasing and tormenting me. Sylus: “…Don’t run.” MC: “You’re… so annoying…” SYlus: “I won’t deny it. I guess you can say I lied. Tonight, you’re not the only one feeling greedy… And I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied. Ah, I misspoke. Greed can never be satisfied… But you can temporarily soothe it.” He takes my hand and places it against his chest. His voice is slow and earnest as he asks the question once more… Sylus: “Say it again. Kitten, do you want it?”  My eyes linger on his, and our heart rates sync up.  I lean down over him, running my fingers through his sweat-damp hair.  MC: “This is my answer.”

In "And now they’re a weapon of their own, teasing and tormenting me," we see more of this indulgence in power play and power exchange. You can easily imagine Sylus challenging himself to see how slowly he can go, to focus more on MC. Him saying "Don't run" can be interpreted as MC trying to get out of his grip--not to escape him, but to accelerate the intimacy, to escape the "teasing and tormenting".

Sylus's "greed" includes taking things slowly. It includes build-up and power-play. It includes spurring on MC's own desires.

We get this really lovely back-to-back of "I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied" to “Say it again. Kitten, do you want it?” 

He is greedy... for her genuine consent. He wants her to want it.

I think "I won’t be leaving until this greed is completely satisfied" is best understood as Sylus being clear to MC that he wants her too. Neither this, nor “I’m hoping ‘yes’ is still your answer because… I just can’t hold back anymore” can be construed as him pushing boundaries because MC has already explicitly invited him into that territory. I interpret the hand that she puts up to stop him as her wanting to be "on top", not as her wanting to stop or slow down, and Sylus's remarks as specifically, verbally affirming his desire for her.

Even him saying "Greed can never be satisfied…" indicates that his everyday baseline is wanting her in this way, and he's very comfortable with those desires and how to keep them in check.

Desire without entitlement

At no point does Sylus ever behave as if he's entitled to MC's affection, physical or otherwise. He always desires her, but does not have specific expectations of her. He's always asking, "so what will you do?" The fact that he doesn't know the answer is what makes the question so compelling to him.

If he wanted sex, he could get it--he's powerful enough and persuasive enough. Which makes that conquest irrelevant and boring to him. What is far, far more interesting is co-discovering MC's true desires with her, just like they did in Beyond Cloudfall.

Repression and regulation

In the way that Zayne's character represents repressed desire, Sylus's character represents regulated desire.

His desires are accepted and known, not rejected and bottled up. Thus, he's able to approach regulation in a playful way, appreciating the challenge that it provides and finding ways to express his affection and sate his desires that don't put pressure on MC.

It is because he is comfortable with his sexuality that it's able to be secondary to his primary desires with MC.

In conclusion

So, as much as I want more kiss cards for them, the writers are cooking. There's a specific point they want to make, and I think they're making it beautifully. I am constantly delighted by the complexity and nuance that the writers bring to Sylus's character.

I'm hopeful that as we see Sylus's and MC's relationship deepen, we'll see MC gain more confidence to initiate, which will then translate to more on-page and on-screen intimate moments.

And until then... there's always fanfic. 😅

Such a good analysis and well written!!!

Some of y’all don’t get Sylus.

He puts on the tough exterior because it’s expected of him, and it’s necessary. The big crime boss and leader of the N109 zone (who is an excellent employer, by the way) is supposed to have this untouchable air about him. He’s supposed to be tough and cocky and unreachable. He’s supposed to be cold and nonchalant. That is the façade he puts on, but we know otherwise.

Sylus is a loverboy.

He has this hard exterior around him, at first with mc as well. His words are different from his actions. He is loving and kind and supportive. He is gentle. He is generous. He is not afraid to show his affection, and is willing to announce it to the world.

Sylus craves the affection and attention. He needs it like air. He needs the attention in bantering, and the little jokes just between him and his lover, he needs it. His words may deny it, but the way he leans into touches, how his eyes soften, how he carries himself in a totally different way and becomes SKYE a fucking fruit vendor because mc is worried.

He does not want to control or particularly manipulate his lover. He does not lie, and instead avoids because he can’t find it within himself to willingly lie to mc. He waited for her, and remembers everything. He left hints to try to help her remember him and find him.

He doesn’t turn to violence unless there is no other option. He adopted two young men that he saw were trying to assassinate him, and he simply asked them to prove themselves. He built a little bird for a reason that hasn’t been fully communicated yet, but most likely for easy surveillance. He loves Mephisto, and treats him with dignity and respect, like a living being.

He is a good man.

He is so much more then the N109 zone crime boss, and I wish more of y’all could see that.

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Man, I was just replaying Night of Secrecy, and it hits different after Elysium (many things do tbh).

Knowing how long Sylus has waited — how much he has yearned — for MC has made it more...bittersweet, ig is the word I'm looking for

"You really don't want me to leave?"

"You haven't changed your mind, have you...? You just said 'yes?'"

Idk, maybe it's b/c my brain operates on angst, but these kind of hurt a bit now ☹️

On the sweet side though, it also makes the kiss and the sex and the morning after even more impactful than they already were 💗

After decades (but more likely centuries) of longing, he got to feel her lips against his own again.He got to make love with her again. He got to fall asleep with her in his arms again. He got to observe her contentedly sleeping face in the early morning hours again.

Sylus is THE loverboy. If you disagree, you can argue with the wall.

I’m going to talk about Caleb again because it’s a brainworm at this point.

I read Sketches vol. 13 for worlds underneath AND OH BROTHER! The Liam and Yvette relationship is so tragic, it makes my heartache. AND THEIR CHILDREN TOO-

Caleb’s whole story makes me so sad, it’s so tragic and heartbreaking. At some points it even made me feel sick. I love him, and I want nothing but the best for him, but nothing seems to be going that way.

BUT LIAM AND YVETTE YOU GUYS! It’s a parallel to mc and Caleb and it’s so sad. It’s also what they could become, her childhood best friend, her favourite person in the world forgetting about her and becoming emotionless and not even recognize her. That is utterly gut wrenching.

I hate EVER and that goddamn toring chip so much, you don’t even know.

I would also resent Caleb if I were Yvette tbh. It’s so sad. AGAIN! THEIR CHILDREN TOO! THE LITTLE BOY JUST WANTED HIS DADDY TO LOVE HIM BUT NOTHING! AND THE LITTLE GIRL KNOWING! SHE FEELS LIKE HER DADDY DOESN’T LOVE HER!

Y’all, I’m broken.

(i also promise i will be sharing stuff about Sylus soon and my thoughts. I do love Caleb but Sylus has my heart.)

If this new LI is going to be a rival for Rafayel, he’s really got to stand out.

And be batshit crazy.

Like, fucking unhinged.

Rafayel, as we know, is pretty unhinged himself but he’s calculated and has a clear goal in mind. The new LI has to be similarly unhinged, but I don’t think he would be as good at hiding it.

Imagine the crazy, but as chaos. He is unpredictable, and keeps mc on her toes. He is not good at putting on a mask like Rafa and is blunt and straight forward, arguably a hot head.

He fs is also a god, idk if it’s Astra or not, but we’ll see.

He is going to be obsessed with her as well, but much more upfront about it. He cannot hide it for the life of him. Rough with everyone, even mc, but she snaps right back at him and they are equally matched.

He is absolutely going to be reckless, wild abandon, and has clear goals and intentions but goes straight for the kill. Does not mess around, does not like games or toying with people, just clamps down and gets the job done.

I don’t think he’ll be shy or a tsundere, he will be clear with his intentions and his feelings. Maybe a little bold too. We obviously have Sylus (I love him sm), but we need someone who matches MC’s fire and enables her.

That’s what I want, at least. Thoughts?

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sylus’s heart, too big for his human body, pounding like a war drum every time you call him yours

“hi, my love.” and he has to take a minute— take a quick breath before responding with a soft ‘hello’ or a nonchalant (or as nonchalant as he can manage) quip about having missed him.

“i’m alright, my dear.” and all thought ceases and his fingers freeze over the wound he was tending to. his anger fizzles away like the rain on the pavement when the sun emerges from the clouds. all strength leaves his limbs as he rests his forehead to your uninjured shoulder, where a small but tender kiss is placed, and revels in the sound of your breathing.

“my heart, please.” and he’s gone. anything you ask for, anything you want is as good as yours if he has anything to do about it. his money, his home, his touch, his time— all yours, yours, yours.

my sylus.” and he is at rest. the world is quiet, there is only you, your warmth, your voice. when the memory of his name returns to you, and he sees in your eyes that recognition—and love, despite who he was, who he is and who he will ever be in your bonded lifetimes, he gives up his entire being to you.

he is yours, and how he wishes your greed for proclaiming it would grow tenfold, until even the mere thought of him belongs to no one else.

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caleb had a nickname in the DAA and it was "guard dog"

not because he was super on the lookout for anything or alert, nonono, that's not how nicknames work

it was all because of how much caleb talked about his pip-squeak and how much he loves his pip-squeak and how he literally only had eyes for his pip-squeak, bro would even wait by the fucking lobby the moment he heard you were coming to visit like a goddamn dog. when you visited, he'd follow you around, never leave your side, and then glare at people that came even close to you without you noticing.

one time he was so drunk off his ass that his roommates teased him about how cute she was and he barked at them because "she's his" and "back off, she's mine". because guard dogs bark at enemies for being on their territory. and then he threatened to tear them apart limb from limb if they ever thought of getting close, before crying because he "misses his pip-squeak" and "why is she so far away? i want to go home, i hate it here", like a dog homesick away from his master.

and then one time while he was out waiting for training to start, they saw him fucking DOOMSCROLLING through your Moments, and then he just murmured "oh she's at [INSERT VERY SPECIFIC LOCATION HERE]" and they all were terrified at his precision. like they asked him "how do you know" and he pointed out EVERY FUCKING MINUTE DETAIL. INCLUDING THE REFLECTIONS IN YOUR EYES.

IT GOT WORSE CUZ HE WOULD NOTICE EVERY MINUTE DETAIL IN YOUR MOMENTS TAB, BE LIKE "she hasn't eaten yet today, she didn't post her meal like she normally would" OR "she's out with someone else, I can see a shadow on the other side of the table that's too close to be a waiter--" LIKE BUDDY, THATS TOO FUCKING PERCEPTIVE

but then Caleb, post-explosion, years later tells you "yeah, I got called Guard Dog because of how perceptive I was and how well I was at protecting my team", only for Gideon to go "no the fuck he wasn't, it was because—" and then Caleb obliterated Gideon from existence.

Gideon claims he did it because "the truth of the obsessive guard dog of the DAA must be passed on and you are one of the last people who will carry his legacy" AHAHAHAHAHA

Though I am a Sylus girly, I love Caleb so much.

When we see mc and Caleb when they were young his love for her, his adoration, and their playfulness with each other, it feels so safe. Everything about their interactions feels full of safety.

I have such a hard time putting into words how I feel about him, and how he’s changed. It’s difficult to see how they were before, and how their dynamic has changed. I feel just as angry and confused as mc. Her childhood friend was taken away and changed into someone she can hardly recognize, and I understand so deeply.

I know, everything he’s doing now is to protect mc. For both of their sakes, to ensure that one day they can find that peace again. I just understand the betrayal that mc must feel, because she doesn’t entirely understand how he is protecting her.

I also hate the toring chip so much, everything that’s happened to Caleb has been a tragedy. I want him to be okay.

I wish, with everything in me, that Caleb now becomes okay. I want him and mc to become free of EVER, and for them to find peace and safety.

I love him so much.

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