Pinned
all i do is sit and think about imaginary but extremely detailed romantic scenarios
Reblogged theodoretheninja
At some point, now that I have a full-time job again, and it's not one that's easily fuck uppable or will destroy my spine or have me sit in silence for several hours a day just me alone in my own fucking head... I'm hoping to do more drawing and more stuff for my personal project. And I know I say that a lot and nothing really happens but I'm for sure that I want to stay here at this job, I'm done with trying to figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of life. I don't know what sort of thing would have to happen to get me out of there, but I ain't leaving willingly or any time soon. And with that out of the way, I can focus on doing other stuff without feeling guilty or like doing art is a waste of time especially when I have other more pressing things on my plate.
Reblogged
"A single act of love makes the soul return to life"
-St. Maximilian Kolbe
#i wish my tears for otzi the iceman would return him to life#i wonder if he was lonely#i wonder if he was really chased by other people and then ran into a completely different group who ultimately murdered him#they didnt take his ax or his clothes#they got close enough to attempt to take their arrow out of him but left him with all of his belongings#anyway... i get that this is talking about acts of love that make ourselves or others feel something#but i felt something when i felt grief over a man who died several thousand years ago#something about grief is just love you want to give but cannot or whatever#im just happy i can feel such a way you know? im not cold or heartless. thinking of otzi breaks my heart#that man was in so much pain all the way up until he died. life back then was so fucking hard#and then to end up murdered?? uugghhh
Haha I just miss my friend terribly is all haha don't worry about it! I'm still learning how to live knowing I'm going to miss him the rest of my life. It's fine! Things are better now, for both of us! Literally, can't call anyone my favorite person anymore because I legit know what's it's like to have an actual favorite person and even telling someone they're my favorite as a joke fills me with such a sense of guilt and/or shame. Yeah, most days are normal, I can go such a long time without feeling that lonely void in my heart that he carved out specifically for himself, but for a few days, every couple of months, fuck, I just want to talk to him so badly. I just want to send that stupid "watcha doin? :3c" It goes away. I stop feeling it and I remember that everything is fine, and better even!...it's different! But it's better....I guess. But sometimes, like tonight, I wish I could just send one more "I love you!"
Anyway, everything that was stressing me should be settling soon. Kurt's sister and the Scouts of America took almost 80% of the money that he left to me. I dropped my classes to keep a full time job. The psychopath I'm replacing leaves in less than a week. I got a bonus at work! And a raise :D and my favorite manager got a big promotion!! and I'm gonna be planning a trip out of town soon. I want to be out there so bad. Can't be a professional botanist, so amateur will have to do <3. Everything is okay. I love myself too :)
#i dont think he really knew how bad things were when he told me 'im so sorry i ruined everything for you'#i dont think i even knew#i dont even know why the loneliness i feel from his absense is so much fucking worse than anyone elses??#i miss my friend#i had a pretty good day today despite the crap#i wish i could tell him about it and tell him i love him and ask about his day#but even caring about him made him squirm toward the end.
Reblogged christ-chan-official
when i grow up i want to be myself
Reblogged durn4h
varazhi-deactivated20250417
One of us.
Reblogged amarga-2
joining the war on romance
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROMANCE
Reblogged such-justice-wow
(experiences anything remotely similar to desire) i should be shot in the back of the head execution style
Reblogged shadow-wizard-moneygang
ur-daily-inspiration