BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR

I MAKE A DIME

THATS WHY I MAKE MEADE

OUTTA THE COMPANY SLIME

BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR

I MAKE A DIME

THATS WHY I STEAL HONEY

TWO ATTA TIME

BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR

I MAKE A CENT

THATS WHY I TAKE HONEY PACKETS,

BOTTLE, AND FERMENT

BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR

I DONT MAKE JACK

EXCEPT FOR THE MEAD

#MEDIEVAL LIFE HACKS

Gonna be so real if a 12 year old traced my art and put it on their school binder I would be so fucking honored

i would levy a lawsuit against them that would leave their family in ruins

Sometimes you think a man is gay but it turns out he is just nice. Sometimes you think a man is nice but he’s actually just wearing glasses. It’s complicated

waluigi and wario met on grindr and decided there wasnt a spark but they DID wanna team up to hustle some thematically similar plumbers at like golf and tennis and shit

Nothing in canon contradicts this so

Stop fucking squirming. I am feeding you oats.

???

finally misogyny for men 😻

morality is definitely a human concept but i do think that dolphins know what they do is wrong

Do you ever start bullshitting a paper, and then look over it halfway through and think, ’…Wait a minute, I could be onto something here.’

this is the definition of college.

Literally I was writing a paper on Asian salt water crocodiles, like a simple about them paper for a college class, and I started noticing some inconsistencies in the scientific papers I was sourcing and I accidentally discovered that the crocodile has been misdiagnosed as least concerned on the endangered species list when they should be classified as endangered and now my professor is having me write a formal report to the international Red List to have them reclassified and all I wanted to do was write this paper on an animal I thought was cool and now I’m considered an expert on this species…

this is how it works half of esteemed biologists trip and fall into their specialty while pursuing something else. one lecturer i just went to started as a biochemist researching antibiotics and discovered that crocodiles change colors based on environment and now he has 30+ crocs in his yard for research purposes and he’s just like… “wait… i’m a chemist…”

How did so many people end up with crocodiles on accident?????

you just go into science and after a while, crocodile…

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse

Do not share the answers with your classmates.

Yes Dr Rorschach

Sorry Dr Rorschach

margaritaville, the song, and margaritaville, the restaurant and resort empire, fascinate me because the former seems to warn against the lifestyle that the latter perpetuates

Spoiler alert for those who have not watched/read this decades old story, he DOES actually have a nuke in his pussy in this scene.

Oppenhymen

when i was a kid i lost my retainer while swimming in the ocean because i saw a stingray and screamed too hard and it popped right out my mouth and i used to go to sleep at night imagining that it had landed in the mouth of a dolphin who now had beautiful straight human teeth