ADHighDefinition

sorry if it’s too much trouble to ask but what does hyperfixatikn feel like?? like sometimes i feel like i identify w some of the symptoms of adhd and??

it’s literally not being able to dedicate any time or effort or emotion to anything outside of a very specific thing to the point where it overtakes your life and consumes every thought, both waking and dreaming. it’s the inability to think about anything without somehow connecting it to the thing you’re currently obsessing over. it’s the inexplicable urge to rebuild your entire personality and life around this one thing. it’s being overtaken with such an overblown and debilitating emotional reaction every time something new happens relating to your interest that you drop everything else and have to write off entire days to lose your shit about it. it’s thinking and talking and writing and crying about it until all the joy has been drained from it, completely bled dry of new content and ideas, and still not being able to think about anything else. it’s complete separation from reality and relatability to other people because you’re so wrapped up in whatever tangent your brain is going off on today. it’s total apathy at anything else that crosses your field of vision, no matter how important it may be, to the point where your real life concerns are suffering because of it. it’s all consuming and inescapable. and it doesn’t end. it’s the same thing every time with anything your brain decides it can squeeze happiness or entertainment out of. one hyperfixation ends only to be replaced by another in a matter of days and the cycle repeats itself. and on the rare occasion you find yourself without something to obsess over, the hollow terror that comes from that understimulation easily outweighs any stress or frustration that your last hyperfixation caused you. it’s becoming depressed because you don’t have anything to keep your brain running into overdrive every five minutes. it’s knowing you’d rather feel fulfilled by something that’s ruining your life than learn to tolerate this emptiness. it’s hating the fact that you can’t just enjoy things casually like everyone else whilst simultaneously relying on the feeling of letting something take over your life. it’s the only way you know how to find purpose. it’s the only way you can find enjoyment in things. it’s the only way you know how to feel happy.