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~Lorelin~

@adskayapanda

she/her dead boy detectives ~ marvel ~ supernatural ~ fantastic beasts ~ tbosas ~ jatp ~ grishaverce ~ lockwood&co ~ good omens

"I did it for you" has gotta be my favorite form of betrayal. You gave me a gift I never asked for, and now I have to look around at the world you destroyed with the knowledge that it was gift wrapped and addressed to me.

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things I've been learning since moving out of my (abusive) family home:

  • if you immediately stop having rage spirals that make you feel ashamed to be alive the moment you stop being around someone, they were probably the problem the whole time
  • having boundaries doesn't make you selfish. wanting to stop talking to your family doesn't make you selfish. you don't need to be grateful for what they did for you
  • you're probably not the worst person to exist. or the most worthless. or fundamentally awful. you're probably not the best either. chances are you're just normal. surprisingly hard to come to terms with this
  • if people offer to take care of you, it doesn't always mean they're saving it up as a reason to manipulate you later. sometimes people just want to help. and it's Good to let them do that
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About four fifths of the books in the Dead Boy Detectives’ collection are reference books - magic tomes, bestiaries, mystimedical volumes. Nearly all of the remaining fifth are detective stories - the biggies, of course (including three shelves of Agatha Christie - their favorites are the Tommy and Tuppence ones) but also plenty of more obscure novels.

Tucked away in a corner where they will be safe and not seen by clients are six children’s picture books.

They discovered the series quite soon after they met, and hunted through bookshops to collect the set. They had an entire party for themselves, by a pond in a park, when the last two were published posthumously in 2009.

Normally Edwin is the only one who reads to Charles, not the other way around, but these books are the exception. Whenever one of them is very sick, or very injured, curled up on the small sofa, they’ll look up at the other, and the one standing will smile and reach for the hidden corner of the shelf without being asked, and then settle down to read.

“One day in summer, Frog was not feeling well. Toad said, ‘Frog, you are looking quite green.’ ‘But I always look green,’ said Frog. ‘I am a frog.’ ‘Today you look very green even for a frog,’ said Toad. ‘Get into my bed and rest…’”

Crystal knows she should be used to the constant disappointment by now, but it never stops hurting. Seeing everyone else in her school stand around with their parents and making small talk just exasperate the feeling.

Her mom and dad never show up for anything involving her, and yet she keeps hoping that this time. This time, they will. They never do.

She thinks about fleeing. She thinks about everyone seeing her flee and laughing at her. 'Look at Crystal Palace, her parents don't care about her, and she's unloved and forgotten'

She should just go home and cry in bed where no one can see her.

"Hey Crystal! Sorry we're late"

"Traffic was dreadful"

"Good one, love."

Turning around to look at her boys standing there in their disguises makes her want to cry even harder.

"What are you doing here?" They both do that sideways glance at each other that they do when they communicate without words before turning to her again.

"Well, we figured your mum and dad wouldn't.. show."

"And we'd be terribly remiss in our duty as your friends if we made you go through these things alone."

"So here we are, two friend-parents at your service!"

Now she is crying.

She flings herself at both of them, letting her tears be soaked into Charles disguises coat, grasping fists full of Edwins knitted cardigan to pull him even closer.

"I love you guys"

"Aw, duck, we love you too"

"More than you know"

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Not writing this out because I can’t get it to properly straddle the line between crack-y and angsty but

Edwin starting to get Symptoms and going ah, yes, consumption. I will respond to this in the traditional fashion, by tragically coughing blood into my handkerchief right after others have left the room and telling no one

The others eventually find out and Crystal’s like “You mean the fucking tuberculosis?” and Charles is like “the one that ghosts can’t get?” and of course it turns out that Edwin was, in fact, cursed, and they all realize they need to finally get around to having that sit-down with Edwin about advances in modern medicine (and also telling people when he’s having problems instead of acting like a doomed courtesan in an opera)

I love buying new books. Look at this! Isn’t it pretty? I’m not gonna read it for 2 years but it will look fabulous on my bookshelf

I’m sorry for all the unread books on my shelves. I love you guys. Your day will come, I promise 📚

Very abbreviated concept, but please consider the classic “Charles gets dosed with a love potion” - but the person the potion latches onto isn’t Edwin, it’s an amateur potioneer with a crush on him and no respect for consent. And it works, fully, Charles is madly in love, sobbing and composing sonnets and proclaiming everlasting devotion and all the rest. He tries to stay with Edwin, but the draw gets too strong as the potion takes hold, and he runs off into the night to meet her.

And then, a few days later, Edwin gets to them, and tries to rescue Charles starting with taking down the potioneer, and the potioneer commands Charles to protect her from Edwin. And Charles freezes, and stares at them both. And then, face covered in tears, slurring apologies, he knocks the potioneer out from behind.

Edwin gives him the antidote, and his eyes slowly clear, coming into sharp focus on Edwin.

“Charles? Are you alright? How do you feel?”

Charles keeps staring, for a bit, eyes fully focused now but brow furrowed, and Edwin gets more concerned, if possible.

“I… I think I feel… I think. No. I don’t think, I’m quite sure. I love you, Edwin. Like, the way you love me. I’m in love with you.”

Edwin lets out a breath like he’s been hit. “Oh.”

He looks back at Charles, hands moving spasmodically through the air, reaching towards Charles and then back again. “I’m so sorry, Charles. I must have failed with the antidote, it must have altered the parameters of the potion instead of ending the effects, I - just give me an hour, I’ll find out went wrong and remedy it, I promise. Don’t worry, I’ll fix it, just - “

Charles surges forward and grabs Edwin’s erratic hands from the air. “No, that’s not what I’m saying! I’m saying - I’m saying that even when the potion was working, and I was madly in love with that bint, I still loved you more. I had to go with her, I couldn’t stop myself, but I still loved you more. And I always have, Edwin, the whole - the whole drunken giddiness or whatever that it did to me, the obsession, it’s nothing to what I’ve always felt for you, I love you so much - so much bigger - than that potion. I love you, Edwin.”

And Edwin looks at him, again, still, eyes wide, hands held clutched in Charles’s, and speaks again, and this time it sounds like a breath let out after having been held for decades. “Oh.”

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hi, a lot of you need a perspective reset

  • the average human lifespan globally is 70+ years
  • taking the threshold of adulthood as 18, you are likely to spend at least 52 years as a fully grown adult
  • at the age of 30 you have lived less than one quarter of your adult life (12/52 years)
  • 'middle age' is typically considered to be between 45-65
  • it is extremely common to switch careers, start new relationships, emigrate, go to college for the first or second time, or make other life-changing decisions in middle age
  • it's wild that I even have to spell it out, but older adults (60+) still have social lives and hobbies and interests.
  • you can still date when you get old. you can still fuck. you can still learn new skills, be fashionable, be competitive. you can still gossip, you can still travel, you can still read. you can still transition. you can still come out.
  • young doesn't mean peaked. you're inexperienced in your 20s! you're still learning and practicing! you're developing social skills and muscle memory that will last decades!
  • there are a million things to do in the world, and they don't vanish overnight because an imaginary number gets too big
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love that niko saw edwin’s repression and her first thought was to tell him about her yaoi collection. what an icon

no you have to contribute to your fandom if you don't want it to die. most fandoms die because people say 'it's so sad watching the fandom die when the hype dies' without doing anything about it. I'm not saying you have to push out 100k word slow-burn fic, I'm not saying you have to make fan art or gif sets or edits or anything. I'm just saying we as a community should contribute to our fandom if we don't want it to die, and by contributing, I'm talking about giving kudos, commenting on your favorite fics, reblogging your favorite art and just talking about your favorite characters. that's enough to keep a fandom alive. that's the most effective way to keep a fandom alive in my humble opinion.

fandoms die because people stop talking about it, fandoms die because people stop engaging with fan content once the hype is gone. what I'm saying is, mainstream media's hype may be gone, but our fandom can stay alive and thriving if us as a community don't let it die.

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