officially april 6th in spain so happy international oscar piastri day to annoying people like me who will be celebrating 🥳

the way these past two episodes have made it abundantly clear that eddie is the best dad but he will never ever have to be that alone. his instincts for christopher are spot on but he will always have buck to be his coparent and partner and that's how he WANTS it. he WANTS buck to tell him to do what he knows he needs to do and he TRUST him to always know what's best for chris

4x14 “Survivors” -> 8x10 “Voices”

no I actually can't stop thinking about it. tommy never put in the work. he didn't dress up for the bachelor party. he barely indulged buck's halloween antics. he literally got buck basketball tickets as an anniversary gift because he never took the time to actually learn his likes and dislikes. buck offers him a place in his life and tommy runs from it, and only now comes back for it. now that the 'competition' is gone. now that he thinks it's gonna be easy. he wants to have buck without earning him.

Recap of the last few episodes

9-1-1 | LET GO (1.02) 9-1-1 | DISCONNECTED (8.12)

this is the first time they’ve ever explicitly, seriously acknowledged that people believe buck has romantic feelings for eddie. not only does his ex think this, but also, most damningly, his own sister also wondered!!! the person he confides in the most, goes to for life advice. maddie thinks it’s not a crazy idea. it’s plausible.

then, the insane line: “i don't want to sleep with everyone i have feelings for, and i don't have feelings for everyone i sleep with”. which shows so clearly the convoluted ways that buck deludes himself. his insistence of referring to eddie as “my straight best friend”. it’s such a coping mechanism. when you strip away eddie’s alleged heterosexuality and distance, does this argument still apply? does it still hold weight? what happens when both those things aren’t true anymore? this episode really shows how buck represses and copes with his feelings. it’s the first time anyone has ever asked him to introspect and think about how he feels about eddie. of course it isn’t a feelings realization—we’re simply planting the seeds of one. we’re making buck, and the audience, ponder this. now it’s out in the open that multiple people think buck could love eddie.

it’s safer this way. he can’t love eddie, because eddie is straight. he can’t love eddie, because eddie moved back to texas. he isn’t “hopelessly pining” for him, and maybe that’s true—only because buck hasn’t admitted to himself, at least not consciously, that he does wants eddie. this line of thought isn’t safe for his heart. these are fragile times. he’s holding on for dear life. but the people around him aren’t buying it. this is the crazy part. they’re writing it like no one buys the bullshit buck tells himself. i love it.

i think there’s a part of buck—a part that exists very, very deep in his subconscious—that has feared being accused of being in love with eddie from the moment he realized he liked men. like, if we circle back to 7x05, eddie is the only person buck is scared of coming out to. he does it fine with everyone else, on accident, brushing off the importance of it. but with eddie we had a whole episode avoiding it. his relationship with eddie is the only one that could be fundamentally impacted by that change. a part of buck was maybe scared, irrationally, that eddie might think it now means he is in love with him.

so when tommy brings it up in 8x11, this thing that has been eating away at buck for almost a year at this point, he goads tommy into saying it. it’s obvious tommy was referring to eddie but buck wanted him to voice it, he wanted someone, anyone to say it aloud. he wanted to hear those fears said to him for the first time, maybe because in a way it almost validates this crazy part of him that he repressed down. honestly, i think buck is relieved someone finally said it so he could start arguing his case.

the problem is, when he finally starts speaking the arguments he’d prepared—“eddie’s straight”, “this isn’t even really his house”, “it just isn’t like that”—he realizes that, actually, no one actually believes him. that’s what pisses him off the most, what sent him over the edge with tommy. then the, “everyone wants me to be hopelessly pining for my straight best friend,” when absolutely no one said that! those are his own fears that have manifested. and what’s even worse than all this is—it might even be true. but i think buck will avoid that until something snaps.

please he’s SO annoying

I HATE HIM!!!

you may doubt that "they" are doing buddie canon but you can't deny that oliver stark is definitely doing buddie canon

Jennifer Love Hewitt is also doing buddie canon.

ITS FINE I WANTED TO CRY ANYWAYS-

Ok I need everyone to understand that Buck and Eddie are both products of their upbringing. Buck was a child of neglect, which led to him having abandonment issues. While Eddie was a child forced to grow up too fast, which led to him having hyper-independence. Two different kind of traumas. Two different kinds of trauma response. Which would require two different kinds of help.

Buck and Eddie help each other overcome these things and because they are two different kinds of problems, the way they help will ALSO be different. Ever since they met, Eddie has always been there for Buck (don't even fight me on this) and Buck has always given Eddie what he needs. It will look imbalanced, but it's really not. They both need SOMEONE in their lives, just in different ways.

Buck doesn't need someone to take over his lease, or to take care of his son, or to help him figure out childcare, he needs someone to Not Leave Him Alone. Eddie doesn't need someone to tell him he's not expendable, or to be reassured he's trustworthy, or to be promised he's not going to be abandoned, he needs someone to Give Him a Helping Hand. And the moment they became friends they have been those SOMEONES to each other.

They are each other's persons. Equally.

me looking at all the eddie in el paso stills

do love that at zero point did tommy suggest buck was in love with eddie. just that there was something there. feelings. that made him consider eddie the competition. and then buck is very loudly and angrily like. so that means i'm IN LOVE with eddie? and then again. IN LOVE WITH EDDIE? no one said that except you buck 😭😭😭 no one said the words IN LOVE WITH EDDIE except you. that was your conclusion. and it was such an important moment. that he was the first one to SAY IT.

#couch theory lives

free her