Kon: So... Do you know this one dude with hair like this? *shows a bowl cut drawing*
Cassie: Tim Drake?
Kon: Tim...
Cassie: He's from Gotham City.
Kon: No man's land!
Cassie: He moved here after a bad break-up.
Kon: He's single?!
Cassie: Got a job as Robin to help stop crime.
Kon: Stop crime...
Cassie: I'm like his only friend in town.
Kon: He needs friends!!
Cassie: I FORBID YOU FROM DATING HIM, KON-EL!
Kon: Cool, thanks, Cassie. Bye!
Tim, filming Kon crashing out after moving into the Titan's tower: ...
Kon, yapping: The only reason I moved in here with you in the first place is because I thought you were gonna walk around naked every day, you were gonna cook me breakfast naked, I thought we were gonna do it every day, and we don't even share the same bed! We have two beds, like what are you even doing?!
Tim: *in disbelief and thinking he's gonna send this to everyone*
Kon: *arrives in Gotham wearing his shirt and jeans*
Tim and Bruce: *watching through the cameras*
Tim: *Gasps* It's Superboy!
Bruce: That's not the Superboy I know.
Tim: That's not the Superboy I know either... But I kinda like it. *gets suited up*
Bruce: Where do you think you're going, young man?
Tim: Wherever he'll take me.
Bruce: I forbid you to go out with that hoodlum.
Tim: But daddy, I love him!
Bruce: *uncrosses his arms* Go to your room. *points to the manor*
Tim: I don't even live here anymore!
Bruce: Well then, go to your old room that Alfred turned into a scrapbooking room.
Tim: *loud ugly cries as he runs to the scrapbooking room*
Tim & Kon: *once again in another arguement*
Cassie: GUYS! Just cut the horsesh*t and get to the part where you admit your sexual feelings for one another?
Kon: WOAH!
Tim: You are way off base, buddy!
Cassie: Oh, spare me, spare me, spare me! *to Tim* Yes, he's a brute, I know. Probably reminds you of a bad relationship and gosh, you'd really like a nice man to settle down with, but admit it, you're really curious to know what he's like in the sack! *to Kon* And you. Ha! Well, you're just a big manbaby who'd rather act tough than show his true feelings because you got hurt the last time you opened your heart! Owie. And now, rather than admit these feelings, you're dancing around one another with this mind-numbing and frankly boorish mating ritual. So please, for my sake, either quit your bickering or pull over, tear off those clothes, and GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY!
Bart: *arrives from out of nowhere* What just happened?
Cassie: I told them they should have sex.
Bart: They haven't had sex?!
Kon: Uh, favorite sushi place. Maybe we could get dinner sometime.
Cissie: Sure. If you promise to bring that good-looking guy with the cape.
Kon: You mean Robin?
Cissie: Your boyfriend's name is Robin?
Kon: H-he's not my boyfriend.
Cissie: Oh. I'm sorry. What do you call each other? Husband, partner, lover?
Kon in disbelief: We're not gay!
Cissie, also in disbelief: Seriously??
Tim, tired from a long night of patrol: .....
Kon, wearing nothing but red ribbons: Merry Christmas, Rob. You've been a very good boy. It's time to unwrap your gift. 😚😉
Tim: *walks over to Kon* I would love to so very much...
Kon, skeptical: But...?
Tim: But I'm so tired so just do what you gotta do while I'm passed out on the bed. *collapses on the bed*
Kon: *groans* That's so wrong and weird. I'm gonna get you back when you wake up.
Tim: *mutters unintelligibly*
Kon: *gets out from the ribbons and gets dressed in his pyjamas* Merry Christmas, dork. *kisses Tim on the forehead and snuggles beside him*
Tim, sleep talking: You're the dork.
Kon: What did you say!?
Tim: *snores*
Kon, to Cassie: You went home and showered? That's so unfair.
Bart: I'm just glad I keep a toothbrush here.
Kon: Oh cool. Hey, can I borrow it?
Bart: Uh, why do you wanna borrow the toothbrush?
Tim: What possible answer could he give to make you say yes?
Kon: I wanna brush my teeth.
Bart: Ugh. Kon, it's been in my mouth!
Tim: That's the grossest thing I've ever heard.
Kon: THAT'S the grossest thing you've ever heard? You caught a guy on the subway with a bag of human ears.
Tim: Your thing's grosser.