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exhausted enby

@anatomical-hydrangeas

so tired dude

me and my girlfriend started to rewatch merlin again... i fear i developed an unhealthy obsession??

(season 2 spoilers under cut! (is it even possible to spoil a show that ended 10+ years ago?)

nah mate you're not unlovable you just forgot to eat breakfast this morning. no bro you're not beyond saving it's winter and you're having a rough time. bro you're not a bad person you're just scared and overwhelmed and that makes sense considering everything that's been going on lately. put the shovel down dude look at your hands they're cramping from white knuckling the handle so long. c'mon! my mom's making chili for dinner and she said you can come over! i love you okay don't forget that

I think the appeal of outer wilds for me is. When you've spent your entire life with the shadow of the apocalypse hanging over your head, there's something impactful about a story where even the literal end of the universe has an after. You might not get to see it, but the fact that it's there at all is enough. That everything you did mattered, it meant something, and even if ultimately you can't save the world it's still important.

Indah's treatment of both SecUnit and the refugee Humans at the end of Fugitive Telemetry was the masterstroke of writing that showed what IS good about Preservation's establishment, actually. That Indah was able to hold compassion and understanding for both extremely traumatized parties, both the prickly consultant she's been butting heads with all book and the ungrateful strangers who shot it in the back, and balance their needs without letting either hurt the other further, shows what Preservation is GOOD at. Reparative justice, harm reduction, compassion and healing and the difficult logistics thereof.

She is dead serious when she offers for Murderbot to press charges against the humans who shot it. She also won't let the refugees be threatened or intimidated by that same legal action by her own officers. She makes sure everyone knows the rights and protections they're due. She says, No, we will not be charging Human One, "because I understand she’s experienced extreme trauma and because the consultant refused to make a complaint," because she understands due process is necessary for justice, and because she understands that what she doesn't understand comes from trauma—on both sides. She says, Are you going to help us find the real killer, "Or is this just how your whole group treats people who get hurt trying to help you?" because yes, she does understand where Murderbot's coming from better now, and because she has to speak up—she cannot simply accept the humans fear this SecUnit, despite its own resignation, not when her job is to restore and repair the society that holds both victims. And when she keeps Murderbot and the refugees from coming face to face with each other, it's not only for the humans' sake, it's for Murderbot's sake too. An unmediated, charged possible confrontation would harm both parties and serve no one. Her words and actions reflect her sincere beliefs in compassion and justice, and those of Preservation's.

And in the end when Murderbot has given up on its "less murdery," minimum force, life-prioritizing, "that was a SecUnit plan" aspirations to non-violent purpose and gone to kill Balin or be killed by it, it's Preservation's bot community that intervenes and de-escalates the situation without further harm or violence. After Human One, it sends a message to the reader: that despite the trauma and injustices the world brings to its doorstep, despite the missteps its people make in the process, Preservation is still ready to respond with strength, compassion, justice, mercy, and its belief in the sanctity of all life. It shows us, not better people, but people borne of a better society, and asks us what we could be if we could make our future better, too.

That one scene from Network Effect by Martha Wells.

Ngl, drawing that last panel was kind of satisfying. I wish I had skills to draw what happens right after but alas.

my humble first attempt at a murderbot. i think i accidentally took 400 billion creative liberties but that's ok <3 i hope the fandom accepts my offering. please vehicular manslaughterbbot fandom im.baby 🙏

"Listening to the SecSystem's audio, I heard a crew member in the corridor say,"I've never seen one out of armor. They really do look human." I made a gesture in that direction that I had only seen in the shows that were rated high on the obscenity scale. Gurathin saw me and made a choking noise."

No thoughts. Only Murdybot.

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