HELP

The only reason I feel dumb for "shipping" characters in something like Hot Fuzz where it was explicitly written with a relationship in mind, is that to me it seems like I could be putting that attention into media that actually has queer people in it (as creators and actors) instead of cishet people pretending to be queer but never actually displaying it outright.

Like despite how obvious as it is, since the characters in the movie never directly define their relationship or actually do anything like kiss it's still possible for people to deny that aspect of it (without necessarily being 100% wrong). And all you have to go on for the legitimacy of it is Word of God, that outside of the movie the creators said they're in love and "Danny plays the girlfriend" (hmph -_-)

But the reason I don't watch movies with actual queer people is because I don't want to watch movies about queer relationships. You know what I mean, like I don't like romance movies I don't like romantic comedies I don't like romantic dramas. I like Hot Fuzz because the story is about something else.

Not that it isn't about their relationship, but it's also police procedural, detective mystery, horror thriller, explosive action, etc. So the importance & development of the relationship is only heightened by being contrasted with all the other elements.

idk like I would prefer to support actual lgbt creators, but unfortunately my own emotional shortcomings makes cishet queerbait more enticing because I can't admit or act on my feelings either lol.

This is literally the 3rd day Angel has known Danny lol

Everyone cites him laughing at Danny in the pub on the 4th day as when he starts falling for him, but the writer of the character said no it was before that

It only stuck out to me because a lot of people characterize Angel as being oblivious to other people's emotions or unable to connect with his own, but he demonstrates in the movie that neither of those things are true he just isn't very expressive

So when you see Angel smiling with Danny, that isn't the first time he realizes he likes Danny, that's the first time he realizes he likes Danny so much that he finally externalizes his emotions

the thing where I said I love when actors play characters who are exact opposite to their true personality - well I was talking about Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz but really the one I love most is Colin Firth in Kingsman

I mean look

so obviously I was watching/re-watching the Cornetto trilogy recently, but the funny thing about it to me is that I haven't seen Shaun of the Dead since I was like 12, and back then I didn't understand why everyone was so pissed off at Shaun/Ed

watching it now, it's not just that I get why people are pissed at them, it's that literally every character in that movie is also immature and failing to deal with a personal shortcoming, which they pass off accountability for by redirecting their frustration at another person who's also refusing accountability - literally all of them.

Liz, David, Dianne, Pete, every single one of them is expecting other people to act based on their standards, but fail to meet even their own. and if people ask them to rise to their standards, they're like no you rise to my standards. and then everyone screams at each other.

anyway contrast that with The World's End, where everyone has a house, high level office job, family, etc. and the one who doesn't is just the most pathetic person who's ever existed I guess lol.

that contrast itself isn't even what stuck in my mind, it's that seeing that jump in priorities between the ~9 years there were from Shaun of the Dead to The World's End, my first thought was "Oh so the beginning is like being in your 20's, and the ending is like being in your 30's...."

and I guess in a way that's the intention, but it just has a different feeling to me after I realized Simon Pegg & Nick Frost were already 34/32 during the making of Shaun of the Dead lol

like it just makes me feel better to know my current age wasn't even the starting point for something like that, and things continued from there - idk like it's nice to be concretely reminded that I can do things with my life now (and in the future), and that only just beginning to figure it out at 29 isn't actually the worst thing ever.

I've noticed that the type of ship pairings I like are always someone emotionally constipated & someone more emotionally open - I think it draws my attention because that's kind of me (the emotionally constipated one), and the more open person is literally anybody besides myself most of the time

wouldn't that be nice if all it took was someone to "teach" you how to be more vulnerable & honest - last time I dated someone, they just broke up with me because in real life it's not another person's job to teach you how to treat them properly

well that was 8 years ago so I don't think I'd be as bad as before, but it's also been that long because it's not something I actively seek. not just dating, but friendships, or being around other people in general lol