Aurë entuluva!

...and you know what? Everything would have gone better for pretty much everyone if Ungoliant HAD eaten the silmarils, and then Melkor as dessert. Like, none of this book happens after that. 'But Ungoliant would have then consumed all light' I see that like John Himself you are drunk on the light=goodness doctrine. Thousands of beautiful Avari disagree. 'But she would have become a super powerful--' still way easier to kill than Melkor because she is a big round dummy. MY big round dummy. She would eat up Elf Satan and his three pretty shinies and then take a happy little nap and then 1 Tulkas would solve the whole problem. Then the Valar could make the sun and moon as usual and everything is fine. Besides the silms were already hallowed so eating them might have killed her anyway. Either way, wins all around. The silmarils rightfully belong to Ungoliant because she was promised them and then absolutely 100% textually won them fair and square.

'What about Sauron' you know what, fascinating question. I bet he cries.

#………… you know. i hate how good an argument this is.#I mean Nobody Is Happy About It but also it is a solution that works!!!#i feel like this is the ‘you can’t defeat me!’ ‘i know. but HE can.’ solution to the silm#in all fairness nobody is happy ANYWAY in the silm if ungoliant just ate the damn things then maybe fewer people would be dead potentially (via @nelyoslegalteam) yeah.

Not to sound like a Feanorian but the Silmarils textually belonging to Ungoliant is dead wrong.

Stolen property is never the thief’s to promise away. And frankly at this point in time Feanor has been a jerk but he is not murderer (yet) and he and his sons haven’t lost their right to the Silmarils.

As to Ungoliant eating the Silmarils solving any problems…I suspect that the elves and the Valar would have just traded one existential and malicious evil for another and oddly less controllable existential evil.

Morgoth at least has a will and intelligence still, Ungoliant is basically a living black hole at this point with nothing driving her beyond monstrous gluttony. I don’t think she would be a problem that could be tossed over to Tulkas to solve.

In fact the Dagor Dagorath would probably have turned up at the beginning of the first age and nobody would have gotten much of (even a sad) story. It wouldn’t be a matter of less people dying but of less people existing at all.

Goodbye Earendil and Elrond and Andreth, Haleth and Elros and Celebrain, Arwen and Aragorn and Legolas, Gimli, Frodo and Sam, Elladan and Elrohir and Merry and Pippin and Bilbo and Thorin, Éomer, Théoden, and Hurin and Tuor and Eowyn and Rosie and all the rest.

"yOu'Re nOt GeRmAn, yOu'rE AmErIcAn"

Okay, bestie, let me explain something to you that is very important to American culture — very, very few of us are ethnically American. When an American says they are "German" or "Irish" or "Italian" they aren't talking about citizenship. They are talking about ethnicity.

The U.S. is primarily a country of immigrants. Everyone says we "don't have a culture" or we have a "bastardized version of *insert culture*" but that's not true!!!! Our culture is made up of American Immigrant Culture!!!! American Italian food isn't "fake Italian food" — it's the innovation of Italian Immigrants who used traditional Italian food along with the ingredients that were more accessible to them in the States. It might not be the food "of Italy" but it is the food of proud sons and daughters of Italy who are also proud Americans. And you can be both.

When American culture is treated as a rip-off of every other culture, we are essentially dishonoring the memory of very brave men and women who chose to leave their homelands under unfortunate circumstances. Men and women who didn't have much money, but did what they could. Used the materials they had. And still managed to make something beautiful out of it. When you leave your home, it doesn't stop being part of your identity — it just looks a little different now. You pass on your old traditions to your children and your children's children, and along the way, new ones are created. Cultures mix and create subcultures. And it's beautiful. It's good. It's primally human.

If I'm not "German" care to explain to me my pasty white skin? Or my last name? Or all the post cards written to and from Germany that we have upstairs in a box? Or the name of my town? Or my grandparents' first language? Or the fact that my American Church, in the year 2024, still sings "Stille Nacht" at every Christmas Eve mass? Sure, I'm not fully German, but the awareness of where I have come from makes up a huge part of my understanding of myself and my place in this world. I was raised in a German Catholic farmtown, and it shows. It shows in the way we worship, and our work ethic, and our reverence for family life.

When an American calls themselves "German" or "Irish" or "Italian" they mean that's where their blood comes from. And it's okay for them to care about that. It's okay for them to care about their roots. It's a major part of American culture.

If you want to "respect" world cultures, you can't just pick and choose which ones are "real" according to you.

Tbh, if you don’t think Bilbo Baggins is a little shit, you haven’t read the stunt he pulled when he left his belongings to his relatives after he left the Shire:

Dora, your advice is trash With love,  Bilbo

I mean, seriously, the little shit

I cry

B.B.

B. fucking B.

*throws all the shade, Baggins style*

I don’t have any actual proof but this feels very personal.

I’m convinced that most of these were people that Tolkien himself very much wanted to gift sarcastic going-away presents to, so he had Bilbo do it to their hobbit counterparts instead.

Also, does anyone think that someone at some point stole spoons from either JRR or Edith? Like those spoons just never go away…

I wonder if those elves that end up visiting Minas Tirith after the War of the Ring have a hard time not laughing every time another Gondorian with a very historical and elvish name pops up.

King Elessar (trying not to chuckle): “Meet my High Council Your Highness, Lord Ecthalion and his brother Lord Beren, Lord Barahir (no relation) and his wife Lady Melian, Lady Finduilas and her daughter, Lady Idril and of course Captains Guilin, Ingold and Voronwë. Over here on the left you already know Prince Faramir and Prince Imrahil, but have you met Lord Angrod of Anfalas and the Ladies Andreth and Earwen of Belfalas?”

Legolas (valiantly not laughing): "A pleasure to met you all."

(a couple hours later laughing with Elladan and Elrohir) “It was the most maddening gaggle of famous elves I have yet had the pleasure of beholding. Barahir married to Melian. You remember that time a dozen centuries that Erestor misjudged his tolerance for Dorwinion? This was almost as jumbled.”

"and that's Commander Turin"

The silence after that introduction said more than a thousand words. I think Gondorians have problems with naming their kids, or are just really that uncreative.

I feel like there’s a possibility that you have two different sets of Gondorians pulling from the same list of names…

Gondorians who know history and stick to impressive historical figures and Gondorians who are just like “this name is cute/pretty/handsome…and either name their kids after the worst elves and humans in history…or the unluckiest/died the worst way elves and humans in history.

"It simply isn't an adventure worth telling if there aren't any dragons."

-JRR Tolkien // Cool quote

Tell that to Túrin, Niënor and family…

I think he did 🤣

Are they seen as opposites though?

Most of the people I have read/discussed them with see them as sort of different branches of the same tree.

Their target audiences are different but they are both written in a way that makes them enjoyable to people of all ages.

I read the LOTR trilogy for the first time as a 9/10 year old and I still enjoy Narnia in my current late 20s.

Actually now that I think about it…writing that is accessible and enjoyable for both kids and adults in the 21st century is becoming increasingly rare.

It’s part of a broader narrowing of focus that hyper specializes on a particular demographic and thus does nothing to broaden the knowledge of the target demographic and is totally uninteresting to anyone outside of it.

Armand St. Just the stupidest man ever invented in fiction I think

Yep…but he’s Marguerite’s brother and French so the League just kind of goes with it.

I have a very rough idea in my head that I don't think I can clearly articulate beyond "And that concludes tonight's reports on German air forc—WHAT'S THIS? IT'S KING ARTHUR WITH A STEEL CHAIR"

IDK what this is about, but I want to know more.

This isn't exactly the same idea but it could be but there is more rattling around in here so:

"a catholic priest" i mean yeah sure why not but JRRTOLKIEN himself was alive and a teacher at the time so go big or go home.

You know what sure why not let's just make literal real-life JRRT himself a character in this Arthurian return story, he deserves it.

@seajr DUDE

Amazing

(also, 2 more things: 1: if that photo has multiple fictional characters, all of the fictional characters in that photo will be your roommates. 2: for characters that can only live in certain conditions, those conditions will be ignored, and they’ll still be able to live.)

(sorry if you don't like this content, I just saw one of those "fictional character in photo roll" posts and thought I would make one.)

[text transcription: Stop!! The second fictional character in your photo roll is your roommate now. Did your life become better or worse?]

Apparently Padme Amidala is now my roommate…

Should be interesting…I am expecting to have to replace the windows and assorted pieces of furniture at least twice a week.

I actually think there’s a pretty plausible possibility that a lighthearted, merry green elf totally fell in love with a hobbit with an adventurous spirit and a love of nature.

If elves can fall in love with men and a Maia can fall in love with an elf I don’t see why this is crazy.

I love the Noldor as much as the next person (or more) but it’s important to remember that not all the elves were 7’ 6” with gleaming eyes and the blood of the Lindar on their swords (I know not all the Noldor did either).

In fact I’d say it’s actually a lot more likely than an elf falling in love with a dwarf since hobbits and elves have more in common.

It could have even been an elf that fell in love with a hobbit lass rather than an elf maid that loved a hobbit. It worked (sort of) for Andreth….

In an undated letter written in the late 1950s, reproduced in THE LETTERS OF JRR TOLKIEN, Tolkien alludes to the legal difficulties Sam faced after returning from the Grey Havens at the end of LORD OF THE RINGS:

You can see how the residents of Hobbiton might have seen Sam's return as the premise of a kind of Agatha Christie mystery plot: favorite servant of eccentric middle-aged local resident departs on an unexpected journey with his master; returns home alone two weeks later; and then conveniently produces a copy of said eccentric local resident's new will, naming the servant the heir to all his property — and the only account the servant can offer of his master's whereabouts is a preposterous story about Elves. Suspicious! Very suspicious indeed!

I feel like this would be a great way to frame a LOTR tv show…

Wholesome hobbit detective is deeply suspicious of Mayor Gamgees sudden fame and inheritance and starts poking around to find out how exactly this happened.

He sneaks into Bag End, finds the Red Book, gets Merry and Pippin drinking, even finds himself interviewing some elves about half way through…

Sam is utterly exonerated of course but the hobbit detective now has a somewhat dubious reputation and the Sandymans never stop claiming that Sam bribed him…

explain why in the tags - this was inspired by me noticing a trend of eldest siblings identifying with peter (one I watched with show with kept audibly groaning at the little siblings shenanigans)

I’m an oldest sibling but my parents read LWW to me when I was a bit younger than Lucy and the movie was my first ever theatre experience-(I’m about 3 months older than Lucy’s actress) so I have always looked at Narnia through Lucy’s eyes.

Hey guys, I just got back from the flea market and this one jewelry table had some GREAT stuff! Anyone want anything? $5 each or best offer.

Thrilled to see that the friendship ring is currently winning!

I can’t tell if Feanor would be sad that his heirloom jewel is only at 9.5% while a House of Finarfin/Finrod (barely even Noldo and entirely un-cursed) is winning or pleased that he only needs to murder-10% of the poll takers…