The celebrity Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors being some of the best ones is like the retail equivalent of having to go to a restaurant and order a rootin tootin yeehaw cowboy burger or something

The Tonight Dough is a downright hedonistic ice cream flavor concept but in order to obtain it you have to purchase a pint of ice cream with Jimmy Fallon's face on it and then see him in your freezer every day for a week

why are there so many tonight dough posts

I need a complete list of your traumas, plus a genealogy going back at last five generations indicating the racial origins of all of your ancestors, plus essays on your personal relationships to religion, ethnicity, gender and sexuality before I can determine whether you're allowed to create this art. Until the paperwork is submitted, I'm just going to put you down as "Provisionally Problematic and Probably Appropriative". Please enjoy your complementary harassment while waiting for a judgement.

Processing times are currently about five years. Please Remain Patient.

"Ooh, I'm sorry; your ancestors' racial origins need to be listed in modern American terminology. Please resubmit. Until then, I'm downgrading your status to 'Tried to Make Excuses Rather Than Just APOLOGIZE'"

I'm sorry, that apology has been judged Insincere. What do you mean "why"? You didn't even address the substance of your wrongdoing. "What wrongdoing"? Sir, I cannot help you if you're going to play such games. Please go to the end of the line. NEXT!

Ah, I see that you've completed your trauma essays. Capital. Please report to those stocks over there while the Bailiff reads them out to the mob with customary scorn and ridicule. NEXT!

Right; so our review shows that you actually are a member of the marginalised community to which this art pertains. I therefore sentence you to hear people say: "You don't speak for ALL members of this community!" for the rest of your natural life.

It really is quite simple, I don't know why you're making this so complicated. Just confess your sins, promise to do better and ask for absolution--No, it has absolutely nothing to do with Catholicism, what are you talking about? And actually, a great many of the people here have Catholics amongst their oppressor classes, so it's pretty problematic for you to draw that parallel--Well! There's simply no call for that kind of language! Back of the fucking line! NEXT!

i've seen enough horror movies starring upper-middle-income white families stuck in spacious haunted mansions. gimme stories about millennials stuck in haunted studio apartments. consider the realism:

why is this protagonist staying in an obviously haunted building despite the glaring warning signs? because a week at a motel would send them spiraling into credit card debt, they'll take their chances with the vengeful spirits. why did they chose this apartment complex to begin with, despite the many many unexplained mysterious deaths that show up on the first page of a google search? hon some of us don't have the credit score to move away from high (paranormal) crime areas. how could i be so careless as to sign a soul-binding contract with a demonic entity? bitch they're called LANDLORDS

okay :)

Tumblr Folk Story

the Aura of the "okay :)" direactly leading to a read more is astounding.

Ant Fam plays Mario Kart series 3/??

Please reblog!

me and my homies support real artists who put their passion into their pieces instead of a machine who rips off the hard work of talented peeps

Actually that no punctuation plot hole ooc wattpad fanfic written by that 12 year old will ALWAYS be better than character ai. And I love that 12 year old btw

served my duty as an autistic artist and made a bunch of autism creature reaction images

I think this is something...

my coworker was telling the story of how he got attacked by a weird bird and he was showing people his phone and they were like, "i don't know what that bird is" but then i walked by and someone was like, "oh, show it to unpretty, she'll know" and i braced myself for him to show me a little brown bird and i'd have to explain that i am not actually an animal expert and lots of birds look alike, but then he turned his phone around and showed me what could have been an encyclopedia's example photo of a pheasant

microdosing the brennan lee mulligan experience

i love the never kill your self meme like yeah joy can be found in humble places peace and love on planet earth

that is the wrong gif

Never kill yourself. come to my dojo instead, where I will kill you

Never kill yourself.

come to my dojo instead,

where I will kill you

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

DOECHII & LIL NAS X at the 36th Annual GLAAD Media Awards

it's so fucked up you cant start working on your life at 3 am. when it most matters

a roasted brussel sprout can change your life if you let it. open your heart. take my hand. its good, try it. i love a brusseled sprout I love you

you haven't unlocked platonic pining yet? wow ok fake yearner

we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight

we are slowly killing the difference between television and movies. tv seasons have 6-8 hour long episodes. movies are part 1 and part 2 and both halves are nearly 3 hours long. both of them have too much time and not enough time for the characters to struggle and grow and change. what makes a story better suited for television or film is becoming irrelevant because we are erasing the distinctions and that's bad for both of them!!!