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Uhhh

@ascendedfella

shitposter supreme
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straight men have beauty standards for men that are completely different than the beauty standards women and gay men have for men and then they get mad when they conform to the beauty standards other podcast bros set for them and women still don’t find them attractive

while you were busy arguing about phrenology on Twitter, lamenting your weak jawline and making fun of dudes who don’t go to the gym, beautiful fat polyamorous men with nerdy personalities were busy snatching up the baddest bitches in your town. c’est la vie.

There's a tiktok trend called "hear me out cakes" where you print out pictures of characters and actors that you basically have to justify wanting to fuck before taping it on a tooth pick and put it on a cake.

Most of the men who do this challenge will pick the fish from Shark Tales, Nala from Lion King (this was the one he actually had to fight for his life over), Shego and actors slightly older than 30 there was one guy who had Korra was his hear me out.

Meanwhile the girls are fucking xenomorphs, mathematical equations, the concept of Vine, Bananas in Pajamas and the Peanut M&M. One girl sprayed another girl with a water bottle because she put Bowser on cake and he was too basic.

If the trend has taught me anything is that girls will fuck literally anything as long as it has a charming personality and a sardonic smile. If you can't convince a girl to fuck you when she's got a centaur from fallout on her smash cake it has nothing to do with not having a jawline or a six pack it's because you're an insufferable human being.

"If you can't convince a girl to fuck you... you're an insufferable human being" right because having trouble dating simply MUST mean you're a bad person. Also tying men's self worth to if they can get sexual/romantic attention from women is shitty and harmful, and like, kinda a mainstay of toxic masculinity?

Also let's not pretend women don't have more social leeway to be silly and weird like that, whereas men can't afford to express themselves that much with that sort of thing without repercussions (literally said Nala had to be fought over).

Also also, I was all over tiktok when that stuff was trending, there absolutely were a ton of women with "basic" hear me outs, where it was just like "Adam Driver" or "Suguru Geto." Ig the last one can kinda be a hear me out though considering who Geto is 90% of the tike we see him, but still. Not really. It's such a girls rool boys drool take, but I shouldn't be very surprised by that considering it's tumblr.

I will ALWAYS headcanon that Mizora is actually Zariel's daughter, and that's why she hates Karlach so much. Imagine your mom takes a liking to this random tiefling girl and puts her on the battlefield (which is also where your mom is cuz she's super focused on the Blood War), meanwhile you get less and less attention. Why do you think she wants to split Wyll and Ulder so much? And why she was probably sooooo happy when Ulder was disappointed in Wyll?

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