be kind, rewind

@astramachina / astramachina.tumblr.com

[in william's afton trunk] πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆ|βš™οΈ

legend says i'm an author. legend also says i'm queer. i dunno who this "legend" guy is but he better quit talking shit. like, he's right, but y'know.

big into fnaf, horror, and some other fandoms. old as balls and perpetually tired. i like tech, robots, aliens, and lava lamps. not explicitly a writeblr but i do talk a lot about stuff i'm working on and also engage with buddies who are.

this isn't my office; this is my junk drawer where i keep all my favorite little knickknacks i can't show off in the background of my virtual meetings. act accordingly.

This is a dangerous sentiment for me to express, as an editor who spends most of my working life telling writers to knock it off with the 45-word sentences and the adverbs and tortured metaphors, but I do think we're living through a period of weird pragmatic puritanism in mainstream literary taste.

e.g. I keep seeing people talk about 'purple prose' when they actually mean 'the writer uses vivid and/or metaphorical descriptive language'. I've seen people who present themselves as educators offer some of the best genre writing in western canon as examples of 'purple prose' because it engages strategically in prose-poetry to evoke mood and I guess that's sheer decadence when you could instead say "it was dark and scary outside". But that's not what purple prose means. Purple means the construction of the prose itself gets in the way of conveying meaning. mid-00s horse RPers know what I'm talking about. Cerulean orbs flash'd fire as they turn'd 'pon rollforth land, yonder horizonways. <= if I had to read this when I was 12, you don't get to call Ray Bradbury's prose 'purple'.

I griped on here recently about the prepossession with fictional characters in fictional narratives behaving 'rationally' and 'realistically' as if the sole purpose of a made-up story is to convince you it could have happened. No wonder the epistolary form is having a tumblr renaissance. One million billion arguments and thought experiments about The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas that almost all evade the point of the story: that you can't wriggle out of it. The narrator is telling you how it was, is and will be, and you must confront the dissonances it evokes and digest your discomfort. 'Realistic' begins on the author's terms, that's what gives them the power to reach into your brain and fiddle about until sparks happen. You kind of have to trust the process a little bit.

This ultra-orthodox attitude to writing shares a lot of common ground with the tight, tight commodification of art in online spaces. And I mean commodification in the truest sense - the reconstruction of the thing to maximise its capacity to interface with markets. Form and function are overwhelmingly privileged over cloudy ideas like meaning, intent and possibility, because you can apply a sliding value scale to the material aspects of a work. But you can't charge extra for 'more challenging conceptual response to the milieu' in a commission drive. So that shit becomes vestigial. It isn't valued, it isn't taught, so eventually it isn't sought out. At best it's mystified as part of a given writer/artist's 'talent', but either way it grows incumbent on the individual to care enough about that kind of skill to cultivate it.

And it's risky, because unmeasurables come with the possibility of rejection or failure. Drop in too many allegorical descriptions of the rose garden and someone will decide your prose is 'purple' and unserious. A lot of online audiences seem to be terrified of being considered pretentious in their tastes. That creates a real unwillingness to step out into discursive spaces where you 🫡 are expected to develop and explore a personal relationship with each element of a work. No guard rails, no right answers. Word of god is shit to us out here. But fear of getting that kind of analysis wrong makes people hove to work that slavishly explains itself on every page. And I'm left wondering, what's the point of art that leads every single participant to the same conclusion? See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. Down the rollforth land, yonder horizonways. I just want to read more weird stuff.

Do you have any suggestions for letting go and improving WITH your weird shit? I'm in university for Creative Writing and I haven't been taught SHIT other than how to engage with a text and how to continue to write at my highschool base-line level. No teaching, no instruction, only critiques of mine and my peers work that doesn't inform us of much in the long run.

I'm desperate for help, if you have Anything it's much appreciated. I'm asking because I felt seen in this post

1. READ. Read widely, read deeply, read slowly when a text demands time. Seek out work that seems strange or challenging. If/when you need to pick up something that's deep in your comfort zone, read consciously. If a passage hits you as dense and difficult, ask yourself why: word choice? complex nesting of concepts? are you distracted, or did you misinterpret something a few lines back? If a passage feels easy and fun, ask yourself why: satisfying rhythm? clear set-up and follow-through? Look for experimental texts, read more poetry even if you don't want to write poetry. The more experienced you are with the vast flexibility of the written word, the more confident and natural your own experimentation will get.

2. Try things out. You don't have to show them to anyone. Sometimes a stylistic idea will get stuck in my head and I just have to write freeform for a couple of thousand words to see how it feels on the page. One time in college I was possessed by the urge to write the vilest, foulest, most unsympathetic and filthy first-person narrative just to figure out how it would actually read, so I scribbled out a couple of pages until it was out of my system. I never did anything with those passages, but they're in my repertoire now, I know how that material hits. I'm always comparing writing to chefing - not everything you cook is a restaurant meal. You can experiment with flavours in your own kitchen, where you are free to make something completely unpalatable and then toss it right out with a better understanding of the process.

3. Be less scared. This isn't just directed at you, it's directed at everyone, and at me. Someone I know once brought a personal piece of writing to a writer's group, about the way her mother's death affected her. Someone in the group was absolutely scathing about it, because they felt that the way she reacted to and wrote about the bereavement was inappropriate. What a horrible experience! What an awful, unhelpful critique. But it didn't shake her, because she knew what she had felt and was steadfast in her right to express it. Sometimes (often, even) criticism will come from angles that are literally just not relevant to what we've set out to do. Like I said in the original post, a lot of readers are kind of ambivalent or hostile to weirdness at the moment. But if weirdness is your goal, those people are simply not your audience. It's a lot easier said than done, but have faith in your own intentions and your own taste. Listen to criticism, but always ask yourself 'will this help me accomplish what I want this piece to accomplish?' It is not the end of the world to be temporarily misunderstood.

at it again

slowly uploading and formatting DTT on my site (rather than playing video games like i said i would)

it did not occur to me until much later that i probably should have added a drop-down menu or at least a chapter directory to that main page, but that's a problem for later me. there's only three chapters up anyway.

edit: weird crop on that second screenshot but it's bcs i wanted to show off the favicon

being a relative newcomer to fnaf is so funny because every once in a while i learn something from ages ago that makes me do such a violent double-take i end up getting a headache.

like tom hiddleston having been a popular fancast for william afton once the aftons were revealed to be british.

it makes sense to me considering it was during the height of the Tumblr Sexyman era, but also, what the fuck.

gracefully into the abyss by leon riskin will continue to play on repeat until i combust into microscopic particles and rejoin the abyss of space. suck me into a black hole and spit me out at the edges of a new big bang.

1:30am 2:07am writerly thoughts before i settle into bed finally (mostly rambling nonsensically about the TB5 series)

okay guys i watched the new devil may cry anime and to say that i have some very strong opinions is probably the understatement of 2025.

im sorry but when you grow up and interact with people irl youre gonna have friends where you dont fw their tastes. sometimes youre gonna meet someone chill whos also a hazbin hotel fan or have a really nice coworker that likes taylor swift and youre gonna need to mind your business and shut the fuck up or youre gonna be real lonely

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