always thinking abt girls

being on tumblr for a long time but never reading homestuck like

mouse girl commercial airline pilot who gets on the intercom and says "this is your captain squeaking... we've just ahhh, reached our maximum cruising altitude of 32,000 feet, which is very high and scary for me because I'm a mouse"

this could have been a completely normal, nonsexual post about mousegirls with various careers, but u just had to go and ruin it by implicitly referencing an airplane

Today I read someone mentioning her adopted dad, and while the wording itself was a bit awkward, it still took me unreasonably long to put together that it meant that she was adopted by him. Her family didn't just adopt a dad.

I was full-on picturing a family deciding that they've got enough time and space to have a man in the house, and excitedly going out to pick out a friendly, nice-looking man from the shelter.

hi im your cat do you mind if i touch your coffee. do you mind if i put my whole foot in your coffee

the way being employed keeps you from video games and other various activities is so sick. genuinely demonic

“oh just do it when you come home” i am dead. “oh just do it on your days off” i am bearing with getting reanimated. after being dead throughout the week.

it's dangerous to go alone! take this

some of y'all in the tags don't even know this is focaccia you just see a picture of a loaf of bread, black out, and hit reblog

sometimes the moral of the story really is just "you cannot go back and what happened to you is going to be with you for the rest of your life. but it's still going to be okay" huh

"unlikable protagonist" and it's just a woman who's a regular human being with flaws

so what if i got my toddler's eyebrows microbladed? it didn't cost him anything i had a gift cord

golly, tumblr sure is loading with a speed and consistency that implies health and vigor

girl shocked to discover that inaction can have consequences too

WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.

"spam like = blocked" if you spam like me i am going to cast 1000 protection spells on you so nothing bad happens to you ever

That's the best part about Tumblr as a whole imho.

I enjoy the love of tumblr spam

Don’t a let a little thing like being a boy keep you from being a girl

Don’t a let a little thing like being a girl keep you from being a boy

Society can't move on until we admit "sugar were going down" by fall out boy only has like ten words, and the rest is just having fun with your mouth.