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I just want to sit and stare at nothing and silently scream

@beautifulcheat / beautifulcheat.tumblr.com

Kat, cis / ace (she/her, them/they) virgo / monkey / INFJ, hollywood nerd / fandom old, occasional writer, I don't tag but if you need me to to avoid triggers lmk, positive vibes only, in this house we multiship like men My day job is with people with disabilities - I follow AAC blogs to listen to disabled peeps about their communication. If my follow makes you uncomfortable lmk and I'll leave ๐Ÿ’–

Please note:ย I do not have money to donate to your cause. Do not message or send me an ask asking for moneyย  for your cat, your family, or your health bills. You will be blocked and reported as a bot/spammer.ย 

General info

Just in case someone trips over an extension cord at tumblr... please feel free to look me up on: - Discord:ย katelis - Pillowfort:ย https://www.pillowfort.social/beautifulcheat - Dreamwidth:ย https://beautifulcheat.dreamwidth.org/ - Direct email: rainwashedhistory@gmail.com

Hi! Welcome! ๐Ÿ’– I'm Kat. Fandom old, life-long multishipper, inconsistent writer, lazy fangirl.ย  You can find me on tumblr or discord (try the RnM 18+ or RnM wiki servers -- or if Roswell isn't your thing you can catch me on this multifandom server). Feel free to stop on by and talk to me! ๐Ÿ’–

Currently I'm writing mostly in Roswell New Mexico -- top ships include Malexa, Malex, Miluca, Echo, Valevans, Kaliz, Anatsobel, and Rosabel. If any of that isnโ€™t to your taste, please feel free to hit that back button now. Any off-color commentary will be met with a how-to on curating your fandom space to make it safe and pleasant. ๐Ÿ˜˜

Please note: due to Ao3 getting scraped for AIs and the amount of bot comments, all fics are currently restricted to registered users. If you donโ€™t have an Ao3 account but would like to read any of these fics, please DM me! Iโ€™ll work with you to find a workaround ๐Ÿ˜˜

Coming soon....

Works in Progress

Pairing: Liz Ortecho/Max Evans, Liz Ortecho/Mr Jones, Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin/Alex Manes Length: TBD Note: Releasing on a (roughly) every-2-week schedule

When a twist of fate lands Liz Ortecho and her friends stranded in a small town in the Superstition Mountains, they find themselves dependent on the kindness of strangers. But in Serpiente de las Estrellas, things are not all as they seem. As Liz, Maria, and Alex get to know the mysterious denizens of this small town, dark secrets years in the making threaten to entrap and endanger them.

Pairing: Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin/Alex Manes Length: 45k Co-author: @ladynoxโ€‹ Note: Completed but releasing on a (roughly) every-2-week schedule

Michael and Maria are a grifter team, out to expose a military contractor hiding horrific human rights abuses. Little did they know another con artist also has his sights set on exposing Benjamin Lockhart.

Completed works and one-shots

Pairing: Isobel Evans/Rosa Ortecho/Anatsa Mufaro Length: 120kย 

Rosa Ortecho had always been able to see spirits. The lonely ones, the angry ones. The ones that had never been human. Armed with a real estate license and a team of loveable misfits, she was determined to help people - both corporeal and non-corporeal - and make a little money while doing so.
Isobel Evans was the best real estate agent in five counties, but when her job at Bracken-Ramirez Realty went up in flames, she needed a fresh start and to find her footing again.
Anatsa Mufaro just wanted to meet her deadlines and get rid of a house that was too big, too old, and too crowded.

Pairing:ย Liz Ortecho/Kyle Valenti/Max Evans Length:ย 20k (3 chapters)

It begins, and ends, with a Christmas tree.
Max Evans doesn't mind his life. He likes helping his brother out at the tree lot. He likes selling books. He loves his family. He's (trying to) write his first novel.
Most days, he doesn't even think about Liz Ortecho or Kyle Valenti, or what they might be doing out in San Diego.
But now, for the first time in years, they're back.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria Deluca Length: 30k (4 chapters)

For years, Maria DeLuca had been losing her mother, bit by bit, to a mysterious illness. In an act of desperation, Maria decides her only option is to reach out to an enigmatic man known as the Mechanic, whose mysterious powers of necromancy may hold the key to saving her mother. Alex Manes would always stand by his best friend, even if he worries that the price for the Mechanic's services will be far more than they are willing to pay.
But as Alex and Maria are drawn deeper into the Mechanic's world, they find they are far more connected to him than they ever expected...

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria Deluca; Kyle Valenti/Liz Ortecho/Max Evans Length:ย 377k Co-writer: @ladynox

Maria Deluca and Alex Manes had been partners, both in the X-Files department and in marriage, for years. They each had their own reasons to search for the truth, and it just made sense to do it together.
Michael Guerin was just a con trying to keep his head down, serve his time, and not attract the wrong type of attention.
He definitely had not bargained on being loaned out to a couple of alien hunters.

[ technically on hiatus on chapter 44, can be read as a finished fic ]

Pairing: Gen (background canonical relationships) Length: 4.6Kย 

The woman who would eventually be known as Louise started her life as a binary star. One of two children.
Twins were vanishingly rare in Oasian families, and as such were believed to be powerful agents of healing and change. As such, their birth was hailed as nothing short of a miracle.
And for a time, it was.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin; Maria Deluca/Rosa Ortecho Length: 18K (4 chapters) Co-writer: @ladynox

The Lockhart House was once a home, although it was never a happy one. Steeped in tragedy, it still stands today, in the heart of Old Town Roswell, attracting ghost hunters and those seeking to catch a peak of something from beyond the veil.
Contrary to popular myth, it wasnโ€™t currently haunted (except by one paranormally talented docent). It was Michaelโ€™s favorite job and the best part of his summer home from UNM. Or at least was until Alex Manes was hired to man the gift shop, complicating an otherwise fun and easy job.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin Length: 2.5K (oneshot) Co-writer: @ladynox

It was pouring when Michael pulled up to the airstream. The wheels of his truck skidded on the mud, a combination of the speed at which he was traveling and the water that hadnโ€™t fully soaked into the parched earth. It was hard to see through the deluge, but this was his home. He didnโ€™t need to be able to see carry his bundle into the airstream, wrapped up within the folds of his coat.
Just a bit of power and the door swung open, allowing Michael access.
โ€œI donโ€™t think he followed us,โ€ Michael said to the small, shivering form that was curled up in his jacket, locking the door firmly behind him and peeking out. โ€œCan barely see anything in that rain.โ€

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin; Rosa Ortecho/Isobel Evans Length: 31k (10 chapters)

Isobel Evans and Rosa Ortecho's wedding is going to be an affair to remember. That is, if Alex Manes doesn't ruin it first.
This wasn't his idea. Honestly, he'd rather spend the wedding getting drunk, bribing the DJ to play songs that would drive the brides crazy, and keeping well away from his first, unrequited love. But when one of your best friends asks you to be their worst man, you take that job seriously.
Even if that means ending up a hell of a lot closer to Michael Guerin than he bargained for.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria DeLuca Length: 4k (oneshot) Co-writer: @ladynox

Michael and Alex were so handsome together, so soft and effortlessly intimate. Maria couldn't help but imagine how nice it would be settled between them, warm and safe...
It's time to go, Maria thinks. Alex disagrees.

Pairing: Heath Tuchman/Dallas Haines Length: 1.9k (oneshot)

A man will be as a hiding place from the wind, And a cover from the tempest, As rivers of water in a dry place. As the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. (Isaiah 32:2)

Series: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles Pairing: Michael Guerin/Maria DeLuca Length: 25K (5 chapters) Co-writer: @ladynox

Special thanks to @dr-lemurr for the beautiful lettering on our cover art!

Once upon a time, in a cold grey castle lived a princess.
She wasnโ€™t a particularly good princess. She abhorred courtly dances and constantly mixed up the dozens of courtiers and cousins, ambassadors and knights she was supposed to know. For sure, she was beautiful, kind and charming, and the court could do nothing but sing her praises out loud. But privately they whispered that she was too headstrong and sharp tongued. What could be expected from the daughter of a witch? Best to marry her off quickly to an obscure fourth or fifth son and forget she ever existed.
Thankfully, Maria never much cared for what fat, old courtiers thought of her. She was the daughter of the most powerful seer in five generations. And she had a destiny. One that wasnโ€™t going to be fulfilled sitting prim and proper by the side of a dull prince whose wits were as soft as his hands.

Series: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria DeLuca Length: 65K (7 chapters) Co-writer: @ladynoxโ€‹

Special thanks to @dr-lemurrโ€‹ for the beautiful lettering on our cover art!

Once upon a time, a princess disappeared from the kingdom of Valkaria. Rumor had it that she was kidnapped by a dragon, who held her captive in a tower at the heart of the Enchanted Forest. Only her knightly betrothed, fourth prince of Bexamer, could save her by seeking out dread beast that kept her from him and slay it so they could live happily ever after.
Or something.
Truth be told, Alex wasnโ€™t particularly interested in slaying any dragons or winning any fair maidโ€™s hand.
For her part, the Lady Maria had decided she'd had quite enough of being royalty. She much preferred her cozy tower home in the forest and the company of the dragon she'd given her heart to. She was not in the mood to deal with any knights, betrothed or not.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin Length: 15k (3 chapters) Co-writer: @ladynox Michael's been kicked off more than one Starfleet posting. So when he learned he was reassigned to the USS Roswell, he decided that he would keep his head down and behave. This decision is immediately thwarted when he meets her hot Vulcan captain.

This might be the first time Michael got kicked off a posting for flirting with a captain.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria DeLuca Length: 54k (12 chapters) Co-writer: @ladynox

Michael had tons of secrets. Sex secrets, murder secrets, alien secretsโ€ฆ they defined him. Most of them, he hated keeping.
There was one secret, however, that he was determined to take to the grave. Or Michael learns to bake.
Or cakes are a metaphor for Michael's love

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria DeLuca Length: TBD (11 chapters) Co-writer: @ladynox Companion fic to The Great new Mexico Fake-off

While Michael attempts to hide his new baking habit, life in Roswell continues and the people around him have some things to say about all the cakes that are popping up.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria DeLuca Length: 3k (oneshot) Cover art by Cath

Maria and Alex had always known that they were soulmates.
This was by degrees a comforting and unsettling realization for them. On the one hand, they were each otherโ€™s closest friends in the whole world.
On the other hand, Alex was very, very gay.

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin Length: 9.3k (3 chapters)

Michael has a problem. One Alex Manes, freshly moved back to Roswell, keeps showing up everywhere Michael works.
Trouble is, Michael works, well... pretty much everywhere.

Citrineย 

Pairing: Michael Guerin/Maria DeLuca Length: 2.2k (oneshot)

Other than her mother, there werenโ€™t many people in Maria's life who had tried to meet her on her level. That never really bothered her. She would just quietly keep taking care of her people in every way she knew how. Right now, that included Michael Guerin.
She never expected him to flip the script.

On Hiatus

Pairing: Alex Manes/Michael Guerin/Maria Deluca Update schedule: TBD Anticipated length: 15 chapters? Co-writer: @ladynox

Maria, Michael and Alex have been in a relationship for years. Peacefully cohabiting together. That peace is upended when Maria realizes she's pregnant.

UM GUYS. I JUST NOTICED A CRAZY ISSUE W THE TUMBLR UPDATE.

YOU CAN SEE THE ICONS OF ANONS SOMETIMES.

The way I was able to recognize several anons in one of my inboxes bc of this error. Oh my god. Guys. This isnโ€™t supposed to happen.

Weighing in to say:

YES, I SEE THIS ON MOBILE. HOWEVER I DO **NOT** THINK IT'S SHOWING THE ANON'S REAL IDENTITY.

The profile pictures I see next to anon asks are profile pictures that belong to other, non-anon asks in my ask box also. Some info

  • there are 14 asks in my inbox from the last ~5 days
  • 9 anons, 5 logged in users
  • ALL 14 show pfps, including the 9 anons
  • ALL THE SHOWN PROFILE PICTURES BELONG TO THE 5 LOGGED IN USERS

I think the bug is the inbox INCORRECTLY attributing anons to neighboring, logged-in asks.

Which is still a bad bug! Considering it makes it look like a long-time follower of mine sent me a spam ask.

And is worse if, say, one of these was anon hate.

But it's NOT the anon's real identity. It's a neighboring ask asker's identity

So if you have anon hate in your inbox that looks like it's attributed to your dear friend, who sends you lovely asks all the time, it was Not them.

CONFIRMED THE BUG IS INCORRECT ATTRIBUTION.

Thanks @thepatchycat for being a test subject. As you can see the icon being attributed to this ask is NOT the patchy cat

The pictured icon belongs to @watchingforcomets who sent me a nice ask about nail polish yesterday which I have not yet answered!

You know, as the concept of โ€œzombifying fungiโ€ becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a โ€œbrain parasite.โ€ So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)

Itโ€™s funny how many people are replying โ€œbut thatโ€™s worse!โ€ like you didnโ€™t know thatโ€™s exactly why I put a smiley

worlds slowest fanfic author tries really really hard

everyone in the notes we are all holding hands. everyone who hasnt worked on a wip in weeks or months or years, its okay. we are going slow but we are going

Kidd Gorgeous -Nightfishย 

[image description: a gif parodying edward hopperโ€™s nighthawks. it depicts the diner filled with water and various fish swimming around inside it. the light from the diner casts reflections through the water onto the street outside. /end description]

good thing he didnโ€™t add a door

This list was created consulting Year in Reviews, Fanlore articles, user feedback, vintage pinterest posts, and my own knowledge. Don't worry about not seeing the shows in their entirety, vote based on your judgement. Enjoy!

were I to create an original piece of media I would create bait so queer in order to create a fanfic environment I like. I find you guys do your best work under duress.

Iโ€™d say โ€œjeez can two people not be friends anymore?โ€ and then Iโ€™d give one of them amnesia in which they only recognize the other above anyone else

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