wilhelmina

Made a little something on slur reclamation.

remember when elomusk asked one of his rocketship employees to give him sex favors in exchange for a horse

I think this tidbit should be more famous than his exploding cars. It's all I'll ever need to know. A real human man tried and failed to barter with a flight attendant for third base by offering to buy her a horse (that's what girls like, right?)

every time I bring up the horse thing at least a few people haven't heard of it, so I think it's only fair to keep mentioning it for as long as I live

the purpose of friends is to have people who unconditionally hate your shitty exes & relatives. like maybe YOU have a complex relationship with your father but i sure don't. i'm outside his house with a gun. he's not the unforgivable asshole who raised me he's just an unforgivable asshole

the reason harrenhal baths jaime scene of all time is. FINALLY you get to see the weird brutal strange anger that lives under smirky exterior unobscured while he tries so so hard to stay hot girl unaffected but he just got his hand 🖐 cut off. and he is realising that perhaps the true hot girl is true knight. and he doesn't think such a person exists only she does and she's in the bath with him. and he has sepsis. and a boner.

Obsessed with the x files episodes where like someone will go missing and they’ll go to the victim’s last known location and see like a normal ant crawling around and mulder will go “I think the victim was kidnapped by two hundred ants disguised as a human being who took the victim because they need to digest organic matter in order to have the strength to build a giant anthill” and scully will go “that’s insane” but mulder will literally be right beat for beat

fine, i’ll say it. raspberry is everything strawberry wishes it was but strawberries get the spotlight for being cute

you're allowed to say "sex" on the internet. See? I just did it. Sex. Sex sex sex. You don't have to say s*x or smex or Adult Fun Times or s3x or "spice" any other variation of self-censorship on tumblr dot com you can just spell out the word SEX i am going to scream until the heat death of the universe

Have- Have the classic film sapphics of tumblr seen these yet?

I have no idea what's going on. is she doing magic??? What's this from??? who knows. but. white tux

PLEASE EMPLOYMENT JELLY

Not risking it all I want in my life is a job I actually like

Sure why not, I’ll try anything at this point

i have an interview tomorrow! 

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

kicked out of the debate for interrupting all my opponent's arguements by saying "me when i'm a dipshit idiot" and then threatening to kill them in increasingly erotic tones

ingrid bergman hanging out with some goats

hey sorry for getting really pissy at you earlier because I could hear you chewing. see I have a condition called [remembers pathologizing my behavior is unhelpful] it's actually because I hate you, specifically,

Why won’t you believe in me, Dev? Just a little? Why won’t you?

INGRID BERGMAN & CARY GRANT in NOTORIOUS (1946) dir. Alfred Hitchcock