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Bibibusinessman

@bibibusinessman

She/her, rower, swimmer, professional sleeper, nerd. Basically just post about whatever my current obsession is. Please recommend books and shows!!!

The Wayne family decide to do a 24 hour charity livestream. It quickly descends into chaos and so many new memes are born.

The highlights include:

- Everyone painting along to a Bob Ross video - Steph's painting somehow catches fire (it was Damian).

- Damian challenges his brothers to a lightsaber duel

- All the kids vs Tim at Call of Duty. Tim wins.

- Dick kicking everyone's asses at Twister

- Dick and Jason try the milk gallon challenge. It does not end well.

- Tim tasers Jason. They get a paramedic to supervise. It takes both Bruce and Dick to hold Jason steady. Tim is grinning evilly the entire time.

- They try to play Werewolf but for some reason they let Stephanie be the "overseer" - goes about as well as you'd think.

- Bruce killing is at karaoke

- They read fanfiction of themselves. Jason gives constructive criticism.

- The most chaotic game of Cards Against Humanity to ever happen

- Superman makes a guest appearance to read some bedtime stories

- Damian has school the next day so he can't stay the whole time but he does introduce all his animals before he heads off to bed. There are about four new ones Bruce didn't know about.

- Bruce shows off all his kids' baby photos. No one knows where he got them from.

- There is a "Wheel of Destiny". They spin it every hour and whatever it lands on, everyone has to complete that task.

- Barbara is there mostly to monitor the livestream and donations and also tell embarrassing stories about the Wayne kids

- Just Dance Rasputin

- Cass tries to teach her dad and brothers ballet. Dick and Tim do pretty well, but Jason tries a pirouette and lands on his ass.

- Tim does drag to Like A Prayer by Madonna. This is how his siblings find out about Caroline Hill.

- Duke reads some of his poetry. It makes Dick cry.

Roy and Lian go away for a week and Jason gets lonely so he goes to one of CatWomans safe houses.

Selina walking in seeing a six foot beefy ass Jason playing with one of her kittens: Hey…

Jason: Sup

Selina: Is Roy out of town?

Jason petting the loudest orange kitten she has: Yeah how’d you know

Duke: Why is Dick sitting in between Jason and Roy?
Steph: Because he doesn't wanna see them cuddling.
Tim: Or kissing.
Duke: But they're a couple.
Tim: To Dick, Jason's still a baby.
Duke, holds up Damian: This is a baby, that's a grown ass adult.

i love the headcannon that both tim and cass look scarily alike, to the point they could be twins.

like they both share the same general lithe build, they’re the same short height, cass has a short bob while tim has his baby mullet, their training is similar due to their backgrounds with lady shiva and the loa, and (depending on your headcanon) both waisan- so i can definitely see instances where they’re confused for each other or where they mess with everyone around them.

cass on patrol in red robin gear so tim can go on a date with bernard:

random thugs seconds away from being one hit k.o’d: yo since when did red robin start melting into the shadows like an eldritch horror?

jason: hey tim -

cass: wrong.

jason: no, im pretty sure you’re tim, i gave you that scar right there in your neck

cass: nu-uh, this is from cain

jason:

cass:

jason: well this got awkward…

steph hugging tim from behind: hey babe

tim: wrong wayne

steph: ew, i should’ve known, your ass isnt nearly as —

tim walking away with his fingers in his ears: lalalalala im not listening to you

damian: i think you’re the only one in this family i respect

tim who has been silently hanging out with him for the past 3 hours: aw thanks damian, i’ve come to love you like a brother too

damian: drake? i thought you were cassandra, my apologies, i retract my previous statement

tim: don’t care, you love me, don’t try to deny it

lady shiva hugging both tim and cass: my beautiful twins, such well trained weapons, unfortunate that you both ended up with cain

bruce pulling his children back: tim isnt yours…

shiva: well that cant be right, he’s s the spitting image of my sister carolyn, and that birth was far too painful to only produce one small child

tim: woah full circle, my drag-sona is called caroline, maybe you are my mom, i wouldn’t put it past janet drake to adopt

bruce: tim no, you’re not even the same type of asian

cass: too late, we’re blood

shiva: see!

. . . Funny idea my brother and I had one day: What if the batkids continuously adopted one another?

Jaybin: Yeah, B is in the middle of the adoption process, so...

Dick: Hey. You know what'd be hilarious?

Jason: Huh?

Dick: If I adopted you. That way, you'd be Batman's grandson. Make him feel old.

Jason: . . . 'Aight bet.

Jason lived with Bruce, he was Bruce's son, but much to Bruce's annoyance and irritation Dick managed to snag the legal rights over Jason, making him Dick's "adoptive son." But, it wasn't that big a deal, Bruce guesses. Anyways, that's how Jason became Jason Todd-Grayson-Wayne.

Now, Jason did not like Tim when he came back from the dead, definitely not fond of the little f*cker. However, he became somewhat okay-ish with his existence after Bruce's "death" and, also, thought it'd be funny.

Jason: Hey, pretender.

Tim: What?

Jason: So, you have no legal guardian since Bruce died.

Tim: He is not dead.

Jason: Sure, sure, sure, anyways, you need a legal guardian and I don't give a f#&$ what you do.

Tim: . . . Elaborate?

Jason: I have the papers printed out already.

And, thus, Timothy Jackson Drake-Todd-Grayson-Wayne is born and also Bruce's expression is hilarious when he finds out. Dick celebrates having a grandson and Jason realizes quickly how he's f*cked up whenever he receives calls from Tim's school that he dropped out of or has to get a call from the hospital when Tim has his weekly near death experience...

Damian was much easier.

Damian: Timothy, I have heard the most ridiculous rumor that you are Grayson's grandson and adopted by Todd!?

Tim: Oh, yeah, it's funny.

Damian: . . . I want in.

Tim:

Damian:

Tim: Bernard, you want in on this?

Bernard: Hell yeah!

Damian is a bit to proud when he holds up his new birth certificate, stating "Damian Thomas Al Ghul-Drake-Todd-Grayson-Wayne-Dowd." Bruce is really, really not impressed and Cass is so glad she's manages to avoid this odd family tradition...

So, by law, Damian is both Bruce's son and great great grandson, Dick's great grandson, Jason's grandson, and Tim and Bernard's son. Bruce eventually forces them all to a courthouse to get paperwork done so he can make them all regular siblings and all his children, but they all complain the entire time and Tim accuses Bruce of taking him from his Father, Jason throws in some fake tears, Dick makes himself dramatically pass out... The press eat it up.

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