likely just an onion

We love to see it. The stock values of the private tax filing duopoly- H&R Block and Intuit- are down more than 5% this week because of this news. If the IRS keeps up the good work, it is within our power to destroy them 😊

A big reason I can prob never truly quit Tumblr is this is the only website where I can read

[goof joke post about, say, Scandanavian geese]

[witty rejoinder]

followed by “Actually? I’m an ornithologist specializing in the migratory patterns of three specific species of geese over the Scandanavian peninsula, here’s a genuinely fascinating short essay about a highly specific field of work and study, I took quite a lot of time out of my day to write this just because I wanted to share my passion, you’re welcome”

it rules

Where's that post that's like "I can't buy expensive things like plane tickets on my phone, I have to use my laptop, big purchases are for the big screen"

Because apparently this is a literal actual thing that retailers hate cuz you think more before spending a lot of money, they want you to spend a lot without thinking about it so much

Source

Keep buying Big Things on the Big Screen, it's healthy for you financially to think before spending a lot of money!

we need 15-20 episode seasons again these limited series have the worst pacing in the world and none of the character decisions hold any weight

we are slowly killing the difference between television and movies. tv seasons have 6-8 hour long episodes. movies are part 1 and part 2 and both halves are nearly 3 hours long. both of them have too much time and not enough time for the characters to struggle and grow and change. what makes a story better suited for television or film is becoming irrelevant because we are erasing the distinctions and that's bad for both of them!!!

When will someone gently take all the internet food bloggers by the shoulders, look into their eyes, and explain that coconut milk is not a neutral-flavored dairy substitute

To be clear this is not me being a coconut hater. This is me saying that making coconut-flavored garlic & spinach & artichoke dip is, at minimum, an unusual choice

>"person of interest" captured in Altoona PA

>POI was stopped at a McDonald's getting food

>carrying multiple fake IDs and a passport

>also carrying manifesto and potential murder weapon + silencer

>identified based on hostel mugshot that doesn't appear to be the same person in other photos

>fake ID matches the one used by POI at Hostel, where they already knew this person was

>picture of the shooter that they claim to have tracked back to the Starbucks has noticeably thinner and wider eyebrows than POI, as well as completely different clothing

>suspect was purportedly tracked from crime scene on cameras and disappeared at a bus station

>greyhound NYC to Altoona PA is less than a day, as is a Greyhound from NYC to Toronto

>shooter has been roaming free for five days

>NYPD, the most vain police department in the world, has been pursuing even the most fuckstupid leads they have (veterinary pistol lol) and spreading photos that are obviously not all the same person

>NYPD has a long history of fabricating evidence against arrested suspects and then dropping cases in court, having done this with a murder case as recently as this past January

>New York City is the financial capital of the nation and needs to appear safe for the capitalist class or it will surely hemorrhage funding

>Eric Adams, Mayor of New York, is currently embroiled in a humiliating corruption investigation and doesn't have much remaining face he can afford to lose

nurse feratu and dr. acula are ready to see you for your blood tests

I'm still salty that bioware gave Anders's whole outfit to a demon but on the funny headcanon side of things - Imshael is an ancient desire demon so I can totally pretend that upon looking into the minds and dreams of a huge portion of the rebel mages who idolize Anders for standing up against mage oppression and whom as a result they have a huge boner for, Imshael decided that yes, must be the outfit yeah, gonna steal this look lmao

Mini vampire hunting kit

bad news man, vampires are usually bigger than that

HELL YES, look how scared they are at the public's reaction, this is amazing

yeah so here's the thing

It *is* "flatly inconsistent with stable democracy," but not in the way WaPo means. Basically these health insurance companies have squashed democratic ways of changing their predatory and loathsome practices. So this happens, and the public reacts this way, because they feel like United Healthcare and other companies have placed themselves above the democratic system and become too powerful to be held accountable by it.

Denying someone the life saving health care they need kills a person, as surely as a bullet does, but people who kill in this way are not considered murderers. But this is wrong, and the public knows it. A knife is no more or less moral of a murder weapon than a gun, which is no more or less moral of a murder weapon than paperwork. Whether you kill someone by pulling a trigger or making a phone call, whether with one big wound or a thousand tiny ones, you still caused someone's death.

Do I agree with murder? No. Am I willing to judge that any human being deserves death? No. Do I think it's absurd to expect widespread indignation and mourning at the death of one rich man when no indignation and no mourning was necessary to honor a thousand poor men killed by the decisions of rich men? Yes. Do I think it's absurd to expect people to condemn this one murderer of one rich man, while also expecting the many murderers of many poor men to be accepted, beloved, and shielded from justice? Yes.

Putting it in a simple metaphor, this guy helped carve a massive monolith that read "HUMAN LIVES HAVE NO VALUE OUTSIDE OF THEIR USE TO YOU. THIS IS THE SUPREME LAW." and now he's dead, shot dead like any common person, and someone is saying "This is so tragic and unacceptable! Human lives have value!" but everybody is distracted and a little put off by the, you know, the huge monolith.

when I was a kid I thought the weather guy on TV controlled the weather and he was just telling us what he was gonna do for the next few days. when he said "30% chance of rain Thursday" I thought he was just guessing how likely it was he'd wake up in a rain mood that morning

I feel like I need to explain. there was a whole internal logic here. there was fucking worldbuilding. I knew there were different weather people on the news in different places and I thought each one was the weather decider for their local area. I knew the word "meteorologist" and thought it was a scientist who had expertise in weather control technology. I never questioned why there was bad weather sometimes because "bad weather" was subjective, after all, I liked cloudy days and snow. and the plants need rain, right? so I figured the weather guy probably had regular meetings with local farmers and gardeners to make sure the amount of precipitation and sunlight we were getting was working out for the crops. I never spoke about this to anyone, because I thought everyone knew. at some point my parents had said "this guy on TV tells us what kind of weather we're going to have" and I misunderstood exactly one fundamental point and built out an enormous set of logical conclusions from there. this lasted from like age 3 to age 6 btw

Age 3-6 is a wonderful time for very logical thinking that isn't exactly reality. I knew a guy who was this age during the tail end of the Vietnam war. He knew about gorillas, from visiting the zoo and books. He would also hear the people in the news talking about gorilla warfare, and logically concluded that his country was at war with a band of wild gorillas.

For me, it was the "cold war" on the news regularly. I also lived in the upper midwest, where meteorologists would forecast a "blast of Canadian cold air" at regular intervals. These "blasts" of cold air often would lead to large amounts of snow and unsafe windchills, keeping people safely indoors after a trip to the store to buy milk, eggs and bread to hunker down - and logically we were at war with Canada, and they fought hard with cold air!

not to be a nerd but it’s so crazy how he (Bernini) really did that from cold hard stone……. truly a spectacle, truly breathtaking, an honor to behold

I think you should know he was 23 when he finished this and the ass gets a lot of attention but the hand on Persepina’s side/tummy is also exquisite

before i saw the caption I knew that HAD to be bernini.

I try not to make sweeping statements but I think there’s a case to be made for bernini as the greater sculptor there’s ever been.

here’s his bust of costanza bonarelli

here’s apollo and daphne from the front, where she’s mostly human

from the back, where she’s mostly tree

and details

this is the one art form I genuinely just cannot get my brain to accept as real. I’ve watched sped-up videos of it being done, read about it, seen in-progress marble statues and I still just can’t get it to sink in or stick. My mind doesn’t want to believe that any person has ever been able to start with a big block and break little bits off of it until it looks like a finely detailed person. At some point it has no recognizable shape and they still know where and how deep they should take a chip out of it that’ll still be the right decision 50,000 fucking chips later?!?

The Ecstasy of Saint Teresa has a hidden skylight for gold rays of actual light to shine down on their expressions and clothes and clouds.

Quite a lot of these are “rewire your brain” books - not necessarily Good or Unproblematic or whatever, but serious and strange and meaningful: intense, stay-with-you books that - if you hit someone with a precise snipe from your rifle - will light up people’s brains like Christmas trees.

and with publication dates ranging from the 1960s to 1999, they’re officially obscure - not something people pick up casually, if they even can.

Worth checking out from a curiosity perspective

Person off screen: what are five things you would never do after working as a lawyer?

Man on camera: well the first thing I would never do after working as a lawyer is call the police. I think people need to be very careful, when they consider of the issue of whether or not to invite the police into their world, their life, or into their home.

The second thing I'd never do after being a lawyer is to talk to the police.

Number three, I would never allow the police into my home without a warrant. But to invite the police into your home, is to grant them permission to make observations to what's inside. And who knows? You may have left your bong out.

Number four, I would never consent to a search of my vehicle, my home or my property. If police want to search my person or my home: get a warrant.

And the fifth thing I'd do: never submit to an interview without an attorney present. They tell you "you have the right to remain silent" and they also tell you "you have the right to have a lawyer present" before you ever speak to them.

I won't be talking to the police.

I think the hot new trends for this summer should be reading comprehension and critical thinking skills

when you walk in and they have this on their wall

you know the panties hit the floor