GOOD NEWS FOR CRAB FANS EVERYWHERE

Please click through and read the article. It just keeps getting better and better.

"Can you describe your prior work experience?"

"I'm a professional crab botherer."

Fuck yeah!!!!

Crab detected! ✅

you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

Boss makes a dollar You make a dime You read unsanitary pirate slash On company time

Look if you read fanfic on the clock and everyone is still relieved that you're back you must just be that got-dang good at your job

Fam, some jobs are like being a firefighter. 90% of the time you're not doing anything that important, but by golly, when they need you, they need you.

Some jobs, you can fuck around for six hours a day, but you know what you're doing so well that the work you do in two hours would take somebody else ten.

Some jobs, you spend those two hours preventing other people from making mistakes that would take 100 hours to fix if you weren't there to steer them right.

So don't buy into the idea that if you're not working 480 minutes a day, you're not doing enough to get paid a day's wages. That's the capitalism talking.

You're a better employee when you keep your morale up, and sometimes you do that by reading fanfiction on the clock in between putting out your little fires.

you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

Boss makes a dollar You make a dime You read unsanitary pirate slash On company time

Look if you read fanfic on the clock and everyone is still relieved that you're back you must just be that got-dang good at your job

Fam, some jobs are like being a firefighter. 90% of the time you're not doing anything that important, but by golly, when they need you, they need you.

Some jobs, you can fuck around for six hours a day, but you know what you're doing so well that the work you do in two hours would take somebody else ten.

Some jobs, you spend those two hours preventing other people from making mistakes that would take 100 hours to fix if you weren't there to steer them right.

So don't buy into the idea that if you're not working 480 minutes a day, you're not doing enough to get paid a day's wages. That's the capitalism talking.

You're a better employee when you keep your morale up, and sometimes you do that by reading fanfiction on the clock in between putting out your little fires.

dropping food when you're already sad is such an intense emotion. Just the most fucking wretched self indulgent pity. One time I spilled a bowl of ice cream when i had already spent most of the day sobbing and honestly im still chasing that high

dropping food when you're already sad is such an intense emotion. Just the most fucking wretched self indulgent pity. One time I spilled a bowl of ice cream when i had already spent most of the day sobbing and honestly im still chasing that high

I feel like how dumb Gawain ends up looking in screen adaptations of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight depends entirely on how hard the costume designer goes on the titular Knight. Like, there's a definite point beyond which you've gotta be like, dude, look at him – of course he's gonna get back up.

Like, if you're looking at Sean Connery in inexplicably midriff-baring plate armour with green glitter all over his face, one can be forgiven for thinking maybe he's just fabulous. If a fucking ent strides into the halls of Camelot, greater restraint may be warranted, is what I mean to say.

(Shout-out to everyone who's learning for the first time from this post both that Sean Connery once played the Green Knight and what his costume looked like.)

It is how I’m learning this and I had to go find images. So now I’m sharing.

I feel there’s an argument to be had over whether this is more boob window than crop top but, either way, there is glitter on his chest.

That is the shiniest codpiece. Also here it is more the entire chest showing. It’s like they were doing one of those deep vee shirts but then put a collar at the top.

The codpiece really ties it all together, doesn't it?

I feel like how dumb Gawain ends up looking in screen adaptations of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight depends entirely on how hard the costume designer goes on the titular Knight. Like, there's a definite point beyond which you've gotta be like, dude, look at him – of course he's gonna get back up.

Like, if you're looking at Sean Connery in inexplicably midriff-baring plate armour with green glitter all over his face, one can be forgiven for thinking maybe he's just fabulous. If a fucking ent strides into the halls of Camelot, greater restraint may be warranted, is what I mean to say.

(Shout-out to everyone who's learning for the first time from this post both that Sean Connery once played the Green Knight and what his costume looked like.)

It is how I’m learning this and I had to go find images. So now I’m sharing.

I feel there’s an argument to be had over whether this is more boob window than crop top but, either way, there is glitter on his chest.

That is the shiniest codpiece. Also here it is more the entire chest showing. It’s like they were doing one of those deep vee shirts but then put a collar at the top.

The codpiece really ties it all together, doesn't it?

latin american pride

latin american pride

You actually do need noble lineage to rightfully rule, but since lineage doesn’t dilute, and given the historic sexual tendencies of people in power wrt their servants, eventually noble lineage spread wide enough that everyone had it and that’s why democracy happened.

nice *adds to list of theories that irritate everybody*

You actually do need noble lineage to rightfully rule, but since lineage doesn’t dilute, and given the historic sexual tendencies of people in power wrt their servants, eventually noble lineage spread wide enough that everyone had it and that’s why democracy happened.

nice *adds to list of theories that irritate everybody*

stealing this from facebook because I'm enchanted with it

@wizardarchetypes

stealing this from facebook because I'm enchanted with it

@wizardarchetypes

i wonder if actors ever get their scripts and are like

well this is fucking stupid

[image description: photos of the cast of Game of Thrones at the season 8 table read, in various stages of grief]

posts that are made funnier by the image description

i wonder if actors ever get their scripts and are like

well this is fucking stupid

[image description: photos of the cast of Game of Thrones at the season 8 table read, in various stages of grief]

posts that are made funnier by the image description