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Michelangelo painted it standing up, actually.

@branwyn-says / branwyn-says.tumblr.com

I'm Branwyn (she/her). I have a lot of fandoms. I write a lot. I make embroidery and bead art.

Good Times

(reposted from my non-monetized Substack. feel free to join me over there.)

The biggest difference between how I wrote personal essays and how I write journal entries is that I write essays with answers already in mind.

When I journal, I don't even have a question yet, much less an answer. I have feelings. Emotions that I need to process. I don't tend to process emotions quickly, or at all, unless I write them into hard containers: boxes made of words, walls of sentences.

I am mostly driven to write about my distress. When I'm happy, I have better things to do. A lot of my writing is motivated by sheer self-preservation.

This blog is supposed to be a journal. I am supposed to be letting myself off the hook and not trying to write from certainty here. But every time I open this document of blog entries, I find myself trying to come up with things to say that will be useful to my reader. Essay style. As if I had answers.

Force of habit, I guess.

I happen to believe despair is always a lie. But it's also a physical condition that affects the body. Action can take the edge off. So can the love of others.

Lately, I feel very far away from the love of my people. I remind myself this is only geographically true.

I have been very active, to compensate.

Despair keeps rattling the doors of my thoughts.

On Saturday, I went to the in-person training to qualify for my 2-year CPR certification. I got yet another trauma medicine certificate from a different online training provider. I joined a gym and scheduled a session with a trainer. I scheduled a bataireacht lesson. I'm going to my self defense class tonight. I'm working on my novel. I'm doing my actual job.

The people I care for in a professional capacity watch Fox News all day, every day. The TV stays on by default. I don't think they really pay attention to it. But I can't help seeing and hearing it. It feels like I have to spend ten minutes processing my rage for every 30 seconds of exposure. When I go back to my room, Democratic politicians are pummeling my inbox, unable to communicate about the Omnishambles without soliciting donations, unable to acknowledge or account for their own uselessness.

I am not in distress because of politics or the DNC or Fox News or the Omnishambles. The architecture of my nervous system is such that distress will find me from time to time no matter what happens to be going on in the world. I can't help my reaction to the sights and sounds of the Republican extinction burst, in all its nasty disregard for truth and reality. But my feelings come from me. I have to remind myself of this a lot. My emotional condition is not the inevitable result of factors outside my control. There is nothing wrong with me yet. Dread will not protect me. A little anxiety is good for getting yourself up off the couch to do useful things. Past that point, anxiety ceases to promote survival and should be regarded, as Tolkien said, as a weapon of the enemy.

I am already doing things. I tell my anxiety it needs to chill.

My bataireacht coach told me a story back in December (he gave me permission to share). His ancestors appeared to him in a dream. He asked for advice about the future and the coming troubles, and they told him: "You're going to have a good time." My coach started trying to explain: no, you don't understand, things are getting really bad here. Their response: "No, we understand, and we agree, things are very bad. But you are going to have a good time."

I am going to die. Maybe sooner, maybe later. The timing will probably not be up to me. Preserving my happiness until then doesn't require me to be in denial. I lean on the perspective I gained from surviving homelessness. Happiness isn't things. Security isn't things. The feeling of safety is not the condition of safety. Home is people and relationships. We can wade into the troubled water and let ourselves be changed, instead of drowning.

These feelings take a lot of processing. There isnโ€™t any final resolution, only continuing motion.

The rest of the thread is here.

tl;dr: Donโ€™t monetize AO3, kids.ย  You wonโ€™t like what happens next.

read this thread. this is by far the most concise explanation of a lot of different issues that iโ€™ve seen in fandom spaces in a while. cosigning both the linked thread and the thread about aus/uk/can law thatโ€™s linked in-thread.

AHDHXHEBSG TWITTER WRITERS DID WHAT NOW???? AND PEOPLE PAID THEM????

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hadeantaiga

If someone has never taken a class that includes copyright law, they may not know this stuff, so I donโ€™t necessarily blame random people for not knowing what copyright is, but likeโ€ฆ maybe just maybe itโ€™s something that should be taught????

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proship-carmen

Just another reminder, because this always drives me crazy, but even if monetizing your fic was 100% unambiguously legal and protected, AO3 would still not let you do it because AO3 was founded and is supported by people like me who want a fandom community that is completely divested from making money off of fic.

Yes, this. Lots of fanworks on AO3 are unambiguously legal. Fics based on Shakespeare plays and fairy tales and Greek mythology and The Great Gatsby and your original character from your D&D game are not violations of copyright, because no copyright applies to those things.

AO3 still doesnโ€™t let you monetize those things on the site, because we donโ€™t want the site to be commercial! Because thatโ€™s not what itโ€™s for!

Itโ€™s not there for you (generic you) to make money off the efforts of the people who build and maintain the site for free! We arenโ€™t getting paid for the work we do to give you a nice site to use, just like you arenโ€™t getting paid for the work you do to create whatever art you share there. Because fandom is supposed to be a community where we share with each other, and therefore we all benefit.

The deal is, we give you a free, stable, safe platform to host your works. In exchange, you get a site that isnโ€™t covered in ads and tip jars and links to gofundme and โ€œread the next chapter at my patreonโ€. You get one goddamn place on the internet that isnโ€™t trying to make money off you. And we will defend that space and keep it non-commercial.

If you want to make money off your fics, you can instead post them somewhere like royal Road. โ€œOh, but Royal Roadโ€™s culture is so much more negative and stressful and lacks the supportive norms of AO3!โ€ Yeah, because people are trying to make money there. Half the userbase is treating it as a storefront and hustling is the natural social consequence of that. AO3โ€™s culture can only exist because itโ€™s not commercial.

Some women are conditioned to be fragile and weak, and to believe that it's a sin to outperform a man. Her feminism would involve allowing women to be strong.

Some women are expected to be strong at times when they can't. Her feminism would involve reassuring her that it's okay to not be strong.

Some neurodivergent people are raised to believe that they're too stupid to ever amount to anything. Their disability activism would involve reassuring them that they're capable.

Some neurodivergent people are raised to believe that they're smart and gifted, and are expected to live up to impossible standards. Their disability activism would involve allowing them to fail, make mistakes, be stupid, etc.

Some children are constantly reminded "you're the child, I'm the adult" in order to deny their autonomy. Their youth rights activism would involve treating them like an adult at times when they feel ready for it.

Some children are treated like adults in order to justify increased expectations or to downplay abuse against them. Their youth rights activism would involve allowing them to be a child.

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to oppression. Each individual person's experience is different. Whatever trauma is caused by their oppression, the activism should focus on undoing it.

Status report: In the "Adventures In Staying Housed" department...

Greetings to the Bluesky folks who've dropped by! Just to confirm what's going on:

We're hoping to sign the lease on our rented house early next week, but we have some rental arrears that we're very much hoping to be able to deal with in the short term. Some extra cash flow in the short term would be a really big help.

With that in mind, may I possibly point you at the following SF and fantasy ebook bundles at our ebook store? All are DRM-free and come with our lifetime replacement guarantee if you lose the files or your reading device, change platforms, or whatever. (With this caveat only: due to Brexit, we can no longer sell into the UK. Our profound apologies.) And once you buy a book from us, you own it. Period.

Our store's full inventory of the revised/edited Young Wizards young adult SF/fantasy novels, and the interstitial works that go with them, is here:

All the current works in the LGBTQ-centered Middle Kingdoms adult fantasy universe are here:

And if you're feeling expansive, our entire store inventoryโ€”36 ebooks at presentโ€”is here:

Finally: if you're all ebooked up at the moment, but you'd still like to be of assistance... after some public-demand style noodging we've finally installed a Ko-Fi. If you choose to go this route, please consider yourself thanked in advance for your thoughtfulness! We very much appreciate it.

Thanks, everybody! โค ...And we very much look forward to enlarging your TBR pile. :)

Just bumping this for the attention of those who may have missed it (or would like to reblog), as weโ€™re coming down to the wire on this issue.

Hey did you know there's a tell all book about the behind the scenes of Meta and the author is forbidden from promoting it?

The good news is however that it's already published and can't be stifled and whoever didn't sign the NDA can promote it as much as they want.

Don't want to click through? The book is:

Careless People by Sarah Wynn-William

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enbyzombies

how are you people alive.

theres an old cold war joke that goes like this: a KGB agent and a CIA agent meet up for drinks off the clock, and after a few drinks they start to talk shop. the CIA agent extols the strength of the Party's propaganda, "All your citizens believe the propaganda! it's incredible! So little dissent." and the KGB responds, "No my friend no, we are good at what we do, but you are the true masters of the art. No one at all questions your propaganda!" to which the CIA agent says, confused, "What do you mean? We don't have propaganda?"

The Price is Life

(Repost from my non-monetized Substack, Livejournal Is Dead. Subscribe there if you want an avenue for keeping in touch outside Tumblr.)

Extrajudicial kidnappings. The imminent invasion of Canada. Cybertrucks slowly acquiring more rights and protection than American citizens.

At a certain point, you have to do something just so your survival instincts feel heard and your heart rate goes down.

I can't stockpile food the way my hindbrain, traumatized by lifelong food scarcity, wants me to. I can't suddenly become a hemp farmer with a spindle and a loom, capable of manufacturing fabric from scratch.

I will always be dependent on others to provide me with the raw materials of food and shelter. But I am turning into a person who might be useful to have around if you're sick or hurt.

I had to assign myself a role in the Omnishambles other than โ€œperson watching helplesslyโ€. The assignment process went like this:

  1. What useful skills do I possess?
  2. How can I build on them?
  3. Who can help me do that?
  4. Who will need my help?

This week, I started the process of getting every Red Cross certification relevant to my situation. (I gave the babysitting and lifeguarding modules a pass.) I finished the available training in First Aid for Severe Trauma (FAST), and in First Aid for Opioid Overdoses. This Saturday I'll do the classroom portion of the Adult, Child, and Infant First Aid/CPR/AED training and get the two-year certification.

My grandmother was a nurse's aide. For ten years, I lived with a doctor who liked to talk about work over dinner. I haven't had insurance for much of my life, so I've been treating my own moderate burns and lacerations and infections for decades. Most of my non-writing work experience has been as a caregiver.

I can't replicate the skill set of a licensed nurse or an EMT or a trained medic with the resources available to me. But I can get really, really good at first aid. I can care for moderate wounds and illnesses and I can be the person who says "find a real doctor or risk death by sepsis".

Nursing has been around as long as humans have been getting sick and until fairly recently, this is all it was: keeping wounds clean, changing bandages, changing bed pans, applying cold cloths to fevered brows.

When nursing was like that, most of the patients died. But there is a difference, I know from experience, between being cared for and not being cared for, even when the care isn't 100% of what you need.

When there is no evidence that anyone cares for your suffering, that's when despair creeps in.

To be brutally exact, many of us are already there. The hospital system collapsed under Covid and hasnโ€™t recovered. And the American health care system, even after the ACA, barely exists for the very poor. I personally haven't seen a doctor since 2019. There's never been a gap of less than 5 years between my physicals. I am lucky to have the immune system I do and never to have been hit by a car while walking down the sidewalk.

I wonโ€™t ever be able to help people get over their financial obstacles to proper medical treatment. But I can bring Dayquil and fluids to someone who has a minor case of the flu and is afraid to risk leaving their home. I can confirm to someone whoโ€™s nervous about facing the gauntlet of public interaction that yes, in this case, itโ€™s worth the risk. (For what its worth, Iโ€™m also training to be someone who can have your back if you need an escort.) I can carry opioid antagonists on me. I can keep glucose tablets. I can keep gloves and masks and antibiotics ointments and and and

Thatโ€™s the niche Iโ€™ve identified for myself. These are the people I can maybe be useful to. In my tiny, piecemeal way. In the way of one sticking a finger in a hole in a dam. One medical wishlist purchase at a time.

This could just be an elaborate and expensive game I'm playing to appease my PTSD. But appeasing my PTSD is fast becoming a medical necessity of its own, so I'm chill with that.

We're all supposed to be buying less to stick it to the billionaires or something, but I went Omnishambles shopping this week. I bought an IFAK from a small business (you can tell, because they're massively back ordered). I've spent a couple hundred on Red Cross training certifications. I bought scrubs. I don't wear them for work, but some day I might need to look like a nurse in order to do my job. I filled an online cart with medical supplies to buy as money permits. I got a giant black backpack to store them in. The manufacturer refers to it as a tactical backpack, which would be more impressive if they did not also make a "tactical" lunchbox.

At the store, I saw a woman who could have been my sister wearing merch for a conservative gun enthusiast website that I ran across while comparing reviews of IFAKs. She was my height and build and hair color, which is to say she looked like a Valkyrie, albeit with major depression and zero style. She was buying basic groceries: ground meat of some kind, milk. Eggs. Maybe that's just what her face was like, but it seemed like she was going through it.

The eight dollar eggs just hit us here in Raleigh recently. It reminded me that in 2016, when I was writing about the rise of Nazism in Weimar Germany, I encountered a historical commentator who claimed that after the German housewives started paying for eggs with wheelbarrows full of currency, nothing else could ever seem strange to them, not even Hitler.

Here's the thing: I'm pretty sure that tall blonde lady bought her gunfucker t shirt before the price of eggs changed a couple weeks ago.

Only now that I have a few bucks to spend on things do I personally begin to grasp how expensive things are. I paid over $150 bucks for that IFAK. I didn't mind, exactly, but are tourniquets really that expensive? Or was it the hemostatic dressings? Or the chest seals?

I want to stock the med kit I'm building with life-saving OTC drugs like Narcan, and Epipens. Narcan is $45, which feels insane, but I can do that. Epipens are $262. And that's the Prime priceโ€”if you don't pay your monthly tithe to Bezos, they're $556. (*Since I started writing this two days ago, Epipens are no longer available on Amazon, that I can find.)

Is it just me or are the people most likely to treat human life cheaply also the ones putting insane cash value on them? But I guess that's the point. Lives are worth more than money to most people. A different kind of economy altogether.

Hey kid, look at me.

I want you to T-pose. Turn your right thumb up and your left thumb doen and look at your right thumb. Move your arms up and down a bit until you feel a nerve running from your armpit to your palm. Now turn your right thumb down and your left thumb up, and look at your left thumb. Keep your chest facing forward and your shoulders back. Move your arms again until you feel that nerve again. Keep alternating between these two for a minute, or look at each thumb thirty times each.

Now sit down. Put your left hand firmly under your left buttock, palm down. Keep your shoulders back and put your right hand over the crown of your head, very gently pulling it to the right. Do this for thirty seconds, then do it again but with your right hand under your right buttock.

These are stretches for the nerves in your arms, and are very good for people who sit behind a computer a lot, or fibre artists, or you name it. Do them daily. They will hurt in the beginning, but keep doing them, even after the pain has gone, or it will return and you'll have to start all over.

Hey, I know another type of stretch for this!

I had to go to occupational therapy a while back due to pain in my ulnar nerve (same nerve that acts as your 'funny bone'). It was getting compressed from jamming my elbow against hard plastic armrests that were in a too-tall fixed position on my cheap old office chair. I was having burning and tingling pain and numbness radiating from my elbow into my ring and pinky fingers. It sucked. Honestly, I found it worse than carpal tunnel, because a rigid elbow brace makes life way harder than a rigid wrist brace.

Anyways, the main exercise that my occupational therapist had me do was called a nerve glide. The stretches OP describes help improve flexibility, but the nerve gliding exercise helps move the nerve out of the pinched spot so it can move more freely.

Here's the best diagram I can find of it:

It's a little confusing, so have some extra description on the weird parts:

  • Step 3: thumb side moves down and towards the front.
  • Step 4: hand rotates out and around, pinky side first.
  • Step 5: nothing fancy here, just straighten your elbow.
  • Step 6 (not on diagram, but recommended by therapist): with arm in the same position, tilt your head towards the opposite side for a few second (works as a stretch).

Ulnar nerve compression (aka cubital tunnel) is apparently super common, but I had never heard of it before I started having issues. If you lean forwards on your desk or armrests a lot, I'd suggest giving these a try. It feels kind of weird because you can feel the nerve, but it shouldn't hurt at all.

I hate targeted ads but I also hate the untargeted gambling & ozempic ads (I dont like gambling and if I lost 10 pounds I'd die of malnutrition) maybe the truth lies somewhere inbetween... all ads are bad

The way people comment about adblock when this post was partially inspired by a bunch of weightloss ads I saw on a real physical subway station

Who's got the gif where a guy helpfully demonstrates how to install adblock on your local train station

Can't afford art school?

After seeing post like this ๐Ÿ‘‡

And this gem ๐Ÿ‘‡

As well as countless of others from the AI generator community. Just talking about how "inaccessible art" is, I decided why not show how wrong these guys are while also helping anyone who actually wants to learn.

Here is the first one ART TEACHERS! There are plenty online and in places like youtube.

๐Ÿ“บHere is my list:

  1. Proko (Free)
  2. Marc Brunet (Free but he does have other classes for a cheap price. Use to work for Blizzard)
  3. Aaron Rutten (free)
  4. BoroCG (free)
  5. Jesse J. Jones (free, talks about animating)
  6. Jesus Conde (free)
  7. Mohammed Agbadi (free, he gives some advice in some videos and talks about art)
  8. Ross Draws (free, he does have other classes for a good price)
  9. SamDoesArts (free, gives good advice and critiques)
  10. Drawfee Show (free, they do give some good advice and great inspiration)
  11. The Art of Aaron Blaise ( useful tips for digital art and animation. Was an animator for Disney)
  12. Bobby Chiu ( useful tips and interviews with artist who are in the industry or making a living as artist)

Second part BOOKS, I have collected some books that have helped me and might help others.

๐Ÿ“šHere is my list:

  1. The "how to draw manga" series produced by Graphic-sha. These are for manga artist but they give great advice and information.
  2. "Creating characters with personality" by Tom Bancroft. A great book that can help not just people who draw cartoons but also realistic ones. As it helps you with facial ques and how to make a character interesting.
  3. "Albinus on anatomy" by Robert Beverly Hale and Terence Coyle. Great book to help someone learn basic anatomy.
  4. "Artistic Anatomy" by Dr. Paul Richer and Robert Beverly Hale. A good book if you want to go further in-depth with anatomy.
  5. "Directing the story" by Francis Glebas. A good book if you want to Story board or make comics.
  6. "Animal Anatomy for Artists" by Eliot Goldfinger. A good book for if you want to draw animals or creatures.
  7. "Constructive Anatomy: with almost 500 illustrations" by George B. Bridgman. A great book to help you block out shadows in your figures and see them in a more 3 diamantine way.
  8. "Dynamic Anatomy: Revised and expand" by Burne Hogarth. A book that shows how to block out shapes and easily understand what you are looking out. When it comes to human subjects.
  9. "An Atlas of animal anatomy for artist" by W. Ellenberger and H. Dittrich and H. Baum. This is another good one for people who want to draw animals or creatures.
  10. Etherington Brothers, they make books and have a free blog with art tips.

As for Supplies, I recommend starting out cheap, buying Pencils and art paper at dollar tree or 5 below. For digital art, I recommend not starting with a screen art drawing tablet as they are more expensive.

For the Best art Tablet I recommend either Xp-pen, Bamboo or Huion. Some can range from about 40$ to the thousands.

๐Ÿ’ปAs for art programs here is a list of Free to pay.

  1. Clip Studio paint ( you can choose to pay once or sub and get updates)
  2. Procreate ( pay once for $9.99)
  3. Blender (for 3D modules/sculpting, ect Free)
  4. PaintTool SAI (pay but has a 31 day free trail)
  5. Krita (Free)
  6. mypaint (free)
  7. FireAlpaca (free)
  8. Libresprite (free, for pixel art)

Those are the ones I can recall.

So do with this information as you will but as you can tell there are ways to learn how to become an artist, without breaking the bank. The only thing that might be stopping YOU from using any of these things, is YOU.

I have made time to learn to draw and many artist have too. Either in-between working two jobs or taking care of your family and a job or regular school and chores. YOU just have to take the time or use some time management, it really doesn't take long to practice for like an hour or less. YOU also don't have to do it every day, just once or three times a week is fine.

Hope this was helpful and have a great day.

Incase people missed this.

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